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(CNBC)   Just in case you're struck by lighting 51 times or hit by a bus in Antarctica, here's how to remain anonymous: First, call all the lawyers   ( cnbc.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Mega Millions, 24-hour news cycle, social media, Kurland, Mega Millions jackpot, lottery winners, Jason Kurland, little personal information  
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6402 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2018 at 1:50 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2018-07-11 01:49:27 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 01:52:32 PM  
ohlookitsthisthreadagain.jpg
 
2018-07-11 01:53:21 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 01:55:38 PM  

abhorrent1: ohlookitsthisthreadagain.jpg


images-cdn.9gag.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 01:55:51 PM  
In for the usual lottery thread buzzkill:
Lay down a row of quarters from New York to Los Angeles. Pick one. If the lottery machine picks the same quarter, you win.
//big numbers rock
 
2018-07-11 01:56:11 PM  
Lightning
 
2018-07-11 01:58:10 PM  
But if I don't announce my winnings how will I meet the swimsuit gymnast supermodel of my dreams that only loves my middle-aged-saggy self for my mind?

True love, is what I'm saying.
 
2018-07-11 01:58:14 PM  
dhresource.comView Full Size

If you hit the lighting 51 times, maybe you should try and duck, or walk around it.
 
2018-07-11 01:58:41 PM  

mazzz: In for the usual lottery thread buzzkill:
Lay down a row of quarters from New York to Los Angeles. Pick one. If the lottery machine picks the same quarter, you win.
//big numbers rock


horizontal or vertical?

Also, if I had that many quarters I wouldn't be playing the lottery, stoopid!
 
2018-07-11 01:59:13 PM  
Hello all.  I have won the lottery and will soon be moving to another location.  You may ask for money and I may consider giving it to you or I may consider paying poor people beat you up.  The latter is probably cheaper and helps the poor.  Also. it'll be a deduction.  And I am all about the deductions now.
 
2018-07-11 01:59:13 PM  
<insert AR-15.com post>
 
2018-07-11 01:59:26 PM  

LesserEvil: [dhresource.com image 800x800]
If you hit the lighting 51 times, maybe you should try and duck, or walk around it.


That's how you get Lulu's ultimate weapon
 
2018-07-11 02:00:34 PM  
Maryland lets you stay anonymous for lottery winnings if you want.
 
2018-07-11 02:01:09 PM  

Circusdog320: Lightning


'Weird Al' Yankovic - Word Crimes
Youtube 8Gv0H-vPoDc


/Starts at appropriate verse ;)
 
2018-07-11 02:02:08 PM  
lottery? get the history, travel, nat geo network on the phone and sell the rights to the story.
 
2018-07-11 02:02:39 PM  
People would know anyhow since I'd start dressing like wealthy British aristocrat from the 1800's
 
2018-07-11 02:04:40 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


People who are bad at math are often total farking liars as well.
 
2018-07-11 02:05:13 PM  

groppet: Maryland lets you stay anonymous for lottery winnings if you want.


BiL works at Walter Reed (or whatever they call it now). When the jackpot gets big, I have him grab me a ticket from MD for specifically that reason
 
2018-07-11 02:05:23 PM  
What if the cat gets the lighting first?

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 02:06:15 PM  
I've only bought a lottery ticket when the lady at the counter says she rang up too many tickets.  I refuse to turn on the tv the next day and see the blue haired babe cheering and telling the tv that "Some loser could have bought this ticket last night and he said 'the lottery is just a tax on people who are poor at math.  Well, now I can afford the finest math! Ha ha stupid Sentra drivin' loser!"

I bought the ticket but it flew out the car window near East St. Louis.  Figured the next day, the news would say a winning ticket was sold at the Liq-R-Cig Station on Natural Bridge.  I would spend the rest of my life looking for that ticket.  Or 30 minutes.  Whichever comes first.  East St. Louis.
 
2018-07-11 02:08:27 PM  
Me:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 02:10:04 PM  
The problem with this advice, it takes a couple of weeks between filing your claim and the first money to show up in your account, and lawyers, accountants and financial advisers all want to be paid, and skipping town takes money.  If you are living pay check to pay check and have little to no credit, you are not going to be able to do most of that.

What they should do, is subtract a hundred thousand from your winnings up front, with some of it going to pay your legal/financial services up front, as well as a stay in a local hotel near the lottery office while you get all of this stuff in order, with the remainder being given to you as walking around money until the check clears.  Make it a condition of claiming your prize that you have to get all your financial affairs in order, but use some of the prize money to pay for that.
 
2018-07-11 02:10:27 PM  
...Hit by a bus in antarctica?!  Really?
 
2018-07-11 02:14:33 PM  
BonerMcGivens:
Also, if I had that many quarters I wouldn't be playing the lottery, stoopid!

Lay down grains of sand from one end of Long Island to the other. Pick one. If the lottery machine picks the same one, you win.
 
2018-07-11 02:15:04 PM  
Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?
 
2018-07-11 02:16:34 PM  
If I won the lottery, I'll tell you what I would do.

Two chicks at the same time.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 02:18:08 PM  
I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.
 
2018-07-11 02:18:16 PM  

LesserEvil: [dhresource.com image 800x800]
If you hit the lighting 51 times, maybe you should try and duck, or walk around it.


His looks like a penis.
 
2018-07-11 02:20:33 PM  

uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.


I've asked the clerk for 5 tickets with the same numbers as the people in front of me, who are taking forever buying lottery tickets.

"Those sound lucky, give me 5 tickets with those numbers."
 
2018-07-11 02:20:44 PM  

uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.


Or be like Leroy Fick, and keep collecting food stamps and welfare after winning.
 
2018-07-11 02:22:19 PM  
Hookers and blow.
 
2018-07-11 02:25:01 PM  
 
2018-07-11 02:27:03 PM  

NoahFenze: LesserEvil: [dhresource.com image 800x800]
If you hit the lighting 51 times, maybe you should try and duck, or walk around it.

His looks like a penis.


I should hope so.
 
2018-07-11 02:28:36 PM  

ArthurVandelay: [img.fark.net image 480x360]


Came here for this reference. Leaving satisfied.

/51 times? Pfffft, amateurs.
//6-6-6-6-6-6-66 times! IN TH-TH-THE HEAD!
 
2018-07-11 02:29:30 PM  

Mole Man: ZombieLambChop: ...Hit by a bus in antarctica?!  Really?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tree_of_​Ténéré


Knocked down by a drunk truck driver when there's nothing around for 250 miles in either direction. How the fkck do you *not* miss that? Really?
 
2018-07-11 02:33:29 PM  

Dick Gozinya: Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?


I would take the lump sum because if you do it doesn't count in child support calculation, where as the annual payment does.

And before you accuse me of being some asshole who doesn't support his kids, I have 50-50 custody and over the last 10 years have paid my ex over $100,000 in child support. I just don't think she uses it for the benefit of my kids and don't want to give her anymore.

Now you do have to use any money made with that money in calculating child support, but I have a plan for that too. Sink it all in real estate so for the next six years (when my youngest turns 18) I actually lose money each year (buying the real estate and employing various family members to be care takers of the properties) and don't actually make any money till the properties are sold.

Anyway, there are many good reasons for taking the lump sum.
 
2018-07-11 02:34:34 PM  

ArthurVandelay: uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.

I've asked the clerk for 5 tickets with the same numbers as the people in front of me, who are taking forever buying lottery tickets.

"Those sound lucky, give me 5 tickets with those numbers."


bing bang boom:
https://www.gambleonline.co/harry-bla​c​k-plays-same-numbers-twice-wins-double​-lottery-jackpot/
 
2018-07-11 02:35:24 PM  

Dick Gozinya: Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?


I'm with you.

I figure just adhere to a few simple rules, primarily along the lines of: "don't spend/borrow in one year more than the amount of the annuity".  Then I'd have the opportunity to try and fail at at least 30 (29?) risky or wackadoodle ventures and still come out OK in the end.  OK, dead in the end, but not broke.
 
2018-07-11 02:35:38 PM  

ArthurVandelay: uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.

I've asked the clerk for 5 tickets with the same numbers as the people in front of me, who are taking forever buying lottery tickets.

"Those sound lucky, give me 5 tickets with those numbers."


You, I like you.
 
2018-07-11 02:36:56 PM  

ArthurVandelay: [img.fark.net image 480x360]


Well done, sir.

Kit Fister: ArthurVandelay: [img.fark.net image 480x360]

Came here for this reference. Leaving satisfied.

/51 times? Pfffft, amateurs.
//6-6-6-6-6-6-66 times! IN TH-TH-THE HEAD!


"66 times? God, that's gotta hurt"
 
2018-07-11 02:37:34 PM  

Dick Gozinya: Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?


I asked my dad the same question.  His reply stuck with me.

That game might not exist in 20 years.

Also, another serious question.  What happened to that recently jackpotted lady who quit her job that same day and announced she won immediately?  I believe she is doing just fine.
 
2018-07-11 02:38:17 PM  

Spego: ArthurVandelay: [img.fark.net image 480x360]

Well done, sir.

Kit Fister: ArthurVandelay: [img.fark.net image 480x360]

Came here for this reference. Leaving satisfied.

/51 times? Pfffft, amateurs.
//6-6-6-6-6-6-66 times! IN TH-TH-THE HEAD!

"66 times? God, that's gotta hurt"


I shall now go home and watch that movie, and dream of the days when I had the free time to go to the family cabin and enjoy basically the same outdoors setting.
 
2018-07-11 02:38:42 PM  

ArthurVandelay: uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.

I've asked the clerk for 5 tickets with the same numbers as the people in front of me, who are taking forever buying lottery tickets.

"Those sound lucky, give me 5 tickets with those numbers."


Maybe I'm easily amused. But I sure got a kick out of imagining the reactions of fake people.
 
2018-07-11 02:38:46 PM  

ZombieLambChop: ...Hit by a bus in antarctica?!  Really?


What being hit by a bus in Antartica will look like:

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 02:39:39 PM  

jst3p: Dick Gozinya: Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?

I would take the lump sum because if you do it doesn't count in child support calculation, where as the annual payment does.

And before you accuse me of being some asshole who doesn't support his kids, I have 50-50 custody and over the last 10 years have paid my ex over $100,000 in child support. I just don't think she uses it for the benefit of my kids and don't want to give her anymore.

Now you do have to use any money made with that money in calculating child support, but I have a plan for that too. Sink it all in real estate so for the next six years (when my youngest turns 18) I actually lose money each year (buying the real estate and employing various family members to be care takers of the properties) and don ...


Found away around those pesky child support payments.  Never had kids, and now I'm just too damn old and hung over to have screaming infants in the house.

And my spouse has had a partial,so it's totally out of the question anyway.  I'm happy with that.  Kids aren't for everyone, especially me.
 
2018-07-11 02:45:47 PM  

NoahFenze: ArthurVandelay: uncleacid: I would still keep playing just to piss everybody off.

I've asked the clerk for 5 tickets with the same numbers as the people in front of me, who are taking forever buying lottery tickets.

"Those sound lucky, give me 5 tickets with those numbers."

Maybe I'm easily amused. But I sure got a kick out of imagining the reactions of fake people.


I was typing out the story as I remembered it, then I realized if I don't care no one else does either.

If me being a liar helps you to find easy amusement, far be it from me to stop that.

You wonderful snarky poster you!
 
2018-07-11 02:49:10 PM  

ng2810: ZombieLambChop: ...Hit by a bus in antarctica?!  Really?

What being hit by a bus in Antartica will look like:

[i.pinimg.com image 400x300]


BIGGEST Vehicle Ever - Antarctic Snow Cruiser Largest Snow Machine in The World
Youtube idNbOpKHWKM
 
2018-07-11 02:51:42 PM  
I'd totally buy Antarctica and spend my days driving around hitting people with my bus.
 
2018-07-11 02:57:10 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Dick Gozinya: Honest question: why does almost everyone say to take the lump sum? The usual answers are "taxes" and "you can invest it better and make more money." Ok....Lets say you go find someone today that won a big jackpot 30 years ago and took the lump sum. Do you really think that person is going to have invested that money and made enough over the past 30 years to equal what they would have gotten if they took the annuity? Hell no. Most of the people that won jackpots 30 years ago blew through their money 10-15 years ago. The few that didn't certainly don't have assets today totalling their jackpot.

I get taking the lump sum if you're 70 years old and don't expect to live another 30 years, but if you're in your 30s or 40s and hit a big jackpot, why take the lump sum and give up 30% of your money right away (before the taxes are even figured in)? No matter how frugal you think you're going to be with your new riches, or how awesome your investments are, you're never going to recoup that money over the life of the annuity. Plus, having the annuity should help you control your spending, assuming you don't go all JG Wentworth with your shiat. I don't get it; maybe someone smarter than I about these things can get some crayons out and explain it?

I asked my dad the same question.  His reply stuck with me.

That game might not exist in 20 years.

Also, another serious question.  What happened to that recently jackpotted lady who quit her job that same day and announced she won immediately?  I believe she is doing just fine.


This doesn't matter.  It works the same as an annuity someone might buy in their retirement, except it's being funded, and opened by the lotto.

In other words, The lottery sets up the entire annuity account at the time you win.  The annuity owner (usually some financial/insurance institution) is the one paying the yearly installments from then on out.  The lottery is no longer involved once the account is set up.
 
2018-07-11 02:58:45 PM  
Amateurs.  I'm hereby announcing that I won Friday's lottery today.  Anonymity be damned.
 
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