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(Asbury Park Press)   Man goes crabbing, is forced to change his name to Bob   ( app.com) divider line
    More: Followup, New Jersey, flesh-eating bacteria, New Jersey river, holding game controller, Necrotizing fasciitis, Angel Perez, severe pain, salty water  
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6328 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2018 at 12:28 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-07-10 09:41:01 PM  
worse than the crabs
 
2018-07-10 10:09:52 PM  
FTA: "in a New Jersey river"

Well, there's your problem.
 
2018-07-10 10:19:15 PM  
When he gets home he won't be able to knock or ring the doorbell and they'll just call him mat.
 
2018-07-10 11:40:43 PM  
badumtss.jpg
 
2018-07-11 12:08:37 AM  

fusillade762: When he gets home he won't be able to knock or ring the doorbell and they'll just call him mat.


Then there's always the chance that he'll fall into a pothole on the way there and become Phil.
 
2018-07-11 12:31:38 AM  
More bad jokes? Ok.
 
2018-07-11 12:35:50 AM  

A Fark Handle: More bad jokes? Ok.


It's Punday.
 
2018-07-11 12:35:55 AM  
In a river? Not Bob -- Eddy.
 
2018-07-11 12:39:59 AM  
Jesus subby, that's farked. But I still laughed.
 
2018-07-11 12:46:11 AM  
pay cash to the hooker, no receipt, no proof who gave you crabs....pay with a credit card, you get a receipt and get proof who gave you the crabs, but you have to change your name---it's a catch 22.
 
2018-07-11 12:48:26 AM  

Farkspeare: worse than the crabs


img.fark.netView Full Size

/the internet is a strange place.
 
2018-07-11 12:55:38 AM  
At least he wasn't crabbing here:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 12:56:30 AM  
Right, let's just get them out of the way.
 
2018-07-11 01:00:30 AM  

Madman drummers bummers: In a river? Not Bob -- Eddy.


If he had been rad, his name wouldn't be Brad as his real name is Skip.
 
2018-07-11 01:07:30 AM  

Herb Utsmelz: fusillade762: When he gets home he won't be able to knock or ring the doorbell and they'll just call him mat.

Then there's always the chance that he'll fall into a pothole on the way there and become Phil.


Haha that is a new one to me.

And very scary for this guy, but the takeaway from the video is this happens when you get a wound that breaks the skin and you don't properly clean it asap.
 
2018-07-11 01:11:02 AM  

Mithiwithi: Right, let's just get them out of the way.


I had to laugh at Wilt. I hadn't heard that one.
 
2018-07-11 01:15:35 AM  

Moodock: FTA: "in a New Jersey river"

Well, there's your problem.


Funnied, but I also googled "Necrotizing Fasciitis" and "Vibrio vulnificus" and found some interesting reading. Apparently it's a bacteria that's widespread in warm-ish salty water across the world and occasionally people with immunodeficiencies or similar diseases come into contact with it and get very sick and occasionally die.

In other words, the poor guy just got really really unlucky.
 
2018-07-11 01:32:06 AM  
Perez is currently in the ICU fighting for his life, while doctors are waiting to see if they will need to amputate potentially all of his limbs if his body does not respond to antibiotics.

Me? I'd opt for the "fark this, I'm out" option. fark that noise.
 
2018-07-11 01:43:43 AM  
funny clip - Oblongs pickles dangerous attempts
Youtube UVchDFLyQa8
 
2018-07-11 01:45:09 AM  
Even the name is scary. "Vibrio necrotizing fasciitis."

Although "Necrosis" would be a good band name. Probably already is.
 
2018-07-11 01:58:31 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Even the name is scary. "Vibrio necrotizing fasciitis."

Although "Necrosis" would be a good band name. Probably already is.


Terrible stripper name though.
 
2018-07-11 02:04:29 AM  

The Zen Philosopher Basho: Huck And Molly Ziegler: Even the name is scary. "Vibrio necrotizing fasciitis."

Although "Necrosis" would be a good band name. Probably already is.

Terrible stripper name though.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 03:09:58 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: Even the name is scary. "Vibrio necrotizing fasciitis."

Although "Necrosis" would be a good band name. Probably already is.


Yup.
 
2018-07-11 03:51:04 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Perez is currently in the ICU fighting for his life, while doctors are waiting to see if they will need to amputate potentially all of his limbs if his body does not respond to antibiotics.

Me? I'd opt for the "fark this, I'm out" option. fark that noise.


I'm with you, put the shotgun in my mouth and my toe on the trigger before it's too late
 
2018-07-11 03:55:09 AM  
Is there anything in New Jersey that won't try to kill you?
 
2018-07-11 04:02:09 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Is there anything in New Jersey that won't try to kill you?


Australians
 
2018-07-11 04:22:07 AM  

Tchvori: Gordon Bennett: Is there anything in New Jersey that won't try to kill you?

Australians


Oh you poor poor man. Yes they will. Slowly but yes, they will if you let them. Alcohol poisoning is just the start. Then comes the sun poisoning. Then the spray tanning. Then the Snookie style attack when you're worn down to DTF even if there might be a STD.

I met one of these creatures back in the 80's. (Well, no spray tanning). They exist.
 
2018-07-11 04:51:18 AM  

Runningwithscience: ArcadianRefugee: Perez is currently in the ICU fighting for his life, while doctors are waiting to see if they will need to amputate potentially all of his limbs if his body does not respond to antibiotics.

Me? I'd opt for the "fark this, I'm out" option. fark that noise.

I'm with you, put the shotgun in my mouth and my toe on the trigger before it's too late


This guy is probably going to wake up with no limbs so its already to late.
 
2018-07-11 05:46:01 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: The Zen Philosopher Basho: Huck And Molly Ziegler: Even the name is scary. "Vibrio necrotizing fasciitis."

Although "Necrosis" would be a good band name. Probably already is.

Terrible stripper name though.

[i.pinimg.com image 600x450]


They don't get the concept of head.
 
2018-07-11 07:36:07 AM  

Krieghund: Moodock: FTA: "in a New Jersey river"

Well, there's your problem.

Funnied, but I also googled "Necrotizing Fasciitis" and "Vibrio vulnificus" and found some interesting reading. Apparently it's a bacteria that's widespread in warm-ish salty water across the world and occasionally people with immunodeficiencies or similar diseases come into contact with it and get very sick and occasionally die.

In other words, the poor guy just got really really unlucky.


This.  Poor bastard here in Mass. went the same way a few years back...water was pretty clean where he was, too.

/I should be more careful working on my boat, walking on barnacles, etc
//but I'm not
 
2018-07-11 09:39:44 AM  
If he keeps losing body parts we can put them all in one container and call him Stew.

/Stewart
 
2018-07-11 12:06:56 PM  
Way to fark up the environment Northern State. Nice sewage river ya got there
 
2018-07-11 12:40:22 PM  
Eww have you ever seen the color of the water of some NJ creeks?

go in with white underwear and come out with orange brown ones

barnegatbaypartnership.orgView Full Size
 
2018-07-11 01:40:47 PM  
That's right it dangerous in NJ waters so stay away!

/if you get cut in ANY salt-water clean that shiat ASAP
//it happens a few times a every year just usually not that bad
///I think this guy waited a few days before getting it looked at or caring for it
 
2018-07-11 02:42:45 PM  

mrwhippy: Eww have you ever seen the color of the water of some NJ creeks?

go in with white underwear and come out with orange brown ones

[barnegatbaypartnership.org image 300x223]


What if you go in with orange brown ones?
 
2018-07-11 05:00:43 PM  

Madman drummers bummers: mrwhippy: Eww have you ever seen the color of the water of some NJ creeks?

go in with white underwear and come out with orange brown ones

[barnegatbaypartnership.org image 300x223]

What if you go in with orange brown ones?


You come out with something of a bondo job down there.
 
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