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(CNN)   Man recalls being in the foster care system and carrying all his stuff in a garbage bag. Upon adopting foster kids, he notices that they are also carrying garbage bags. His dismay turns into the creation of Comfort Cases   ( cnn.com) divider line
    More: Hero, Foster care, Comfort Cases, Adoption, Fosterage, foster care, trash bags, Scheer, Rob Scheer  
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2868 clicks; posted to Business » on 22 Jun 2018 at 5:03 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-06-22 03:02:21 AM  
It reminds me of the baby boxes given to the parents of every newborn in Finland and Scotland. A great idea.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-22 05:20:11 AM  
Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.
 
2018-06-22 05:32:59 AM  
A kid version of this?
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-22 07:34:10 AM  

Don Gato: A kid version of this?
[img.fark.net image 259x195]


That's what you send the foster kids back in when things don't work out
 
2018-06-22 08:11:33 AM  
No snark.

That's just awesome.
 
2018-06-22 08:22:31 AM  

spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?


Hahahahahha. Wow. You've never been in the system.

The CPS workers are paid a pittance and have overwhelming caseloads.

Buying the kids duffel bags would 90% of the time mean the next foster home swiped themselves some spiffy new duffel bags.

Well, good on this guy.

Yes, but also a band-aid on a knife wound.   There are good people who take in abused kids - boy do I know.  But they are a random artifact in a system that does not measure outcomes other than "kid is alive" and has zero independent oversight.
 
2018-06-22 08:37:47 AM  
I'm not crying, you're crying.
 
2018-06-22 08:48:45 AM  
read about a woman in Scotland (i think) that was unhappy over not being able to get her children the type of carry sack that were available when she was a girl. she worked hard and was met with much resistance but in time had the carry sacks back in production. and now she is becoming a millionaire.
 
2018-06-22 08:52:38 AM  
"Fark the kids, they don't vote for us anyway."
 
2018-06-22 08:55:16 AM  

spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.


Kids are often pulled with little or no warning, planning, or foresight.  An accusation of abuse is made, CPS shows up, sees evidence of it, and yanks the kids immediately.

Typically, the sort of home they are yanked from doesn't have a matched set of American Tourister luggage.  Kids from well-to-do or even lower middle class don't end up in foster care, because in general, the sorts of parental behaviors that tend to get kids yanked bleed into other areas of their lives, meaning they usually have addiction or mental health or legal troubles, and thus are generally already on things like public assistance.

There were times we had to spend money out of our own pockets to buy clothes for our foster kids because everything they came to us with was unsuitable in some way, either torn or too small, and the clothing allowance you get isn't enough to buy a decent wardrobe from scratch.

And the saddest part of all is that it's common for the parents to throw out those clothes the kids got while in foster care.  Some psychological thing.  And toys and stuff that you got them.  Heartbreaking.

As for having duffel bags or something for the kids to put their clothes in, probably not a good idea.  When we got a kid in, if they weren't an infant, we'd immediately wash all of their clothes including the ones they were wearing.  We have some spare clothes at the ready for them to wear.  We did that to get rid of things like bedbugs and lice and their eggs and any other issues (often all the clothes were dirty).  And we throw out the garbage bag immediately.   I can't recall ever having a kid come in with lice or bedbugs, but it was not an uncommon phenomenon among foster kids.  So even if you did get duffel bags, they'd be a single use item most likely.

And, in the final measure, the indignity of having to carry your clothes in a garbage bag is relatively minor compared to the kinds of abuse these kids typically had to endure at the hands of their parents, and the trauma of being separated from them with no prior notice and being placed with strangers.

The distaffbopper and I don't do foster care anymore, *BUT* we do watch one of our former foster kids about one weekend a month, and during the summer 2 days during the week while his legal guardian works part-time.  We stopped doing foster care because it just hurt too damn much to say goodbye.  I think the one that killed us the most was a 2 month old baby girl we took care of until she was 9 or 10 months old, and we had started to think about adoption, only to have the rug pulled out from under us when the grandparents got custody.  Now, that was the right decision for the court to make, and they are good people, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

So we shifted to just doing "respite care", meaning we'd take a foster kid in for a few days or a week or two when the regular foster parents needed a break, or were going on vacation (you can't take a foster kid out of state).   Then we just stopped doing it altogether when the kid I mentioned earlier left the system and we started taking him in on a private basis.
 
2018-06-22 09:09:31 AM  
After reading TFA, good on this guy.  We did that sort of thing for our foster kids, getting them all new stuff like toothbrushes, combs and hairbrushes*, and other personal items.  We just never thought to do it on a larger scale.


*"If it touches hair, we don't share!"
 
2018-06-22 09:16:02 AM  
Wow, what a super wonderful thing for this guy to do. Too bad that he's gonna burn in hell for being gay.


/what some people actually believe.
 
2018-06-22 09:33:13 AM  
Freakin dusty in here already...
 
2018-06-22 09:43:46 AM  

spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.


Send them the money, and they will happily do so.
Oops, suddenly it's not so important, huh?
 
2018-06-22 10:32:24 AM  
After this past week, I'm sure glad that this time when I'm crying for kids, it's with a smile, too.
 
2018-06-22 10:38:57 AM  
Hey if its good enough for NFL players its good enough for these kids.

Seriously though good on this guy, seems like a great program to get some stability in these kids lives.
 
2018-06-22 10:43:15 AM  
Good on this guy. This sounds like a program Southwest was promoting on their internal flight channel thing. I wonder if they're related or could team up.
 
2018-06-22 11:01:59 AM  

Pats_Cloth_Coat: spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Hahahahahha. Wow. You've never been in the system.

The CPS workers are paid a pittance and have overwhelming caseloads.

Buying the kids duffel bags would 90% of the time mean the next foster home swiped themselves some spiffy new duffel bags.

Well, good on this guy.

Yes, but also a band-aid on a knife wound.   There are good people who take in abused kids - boy do I know.  But they are a random artifact in a system that does not measure outcomes other than "kid is alive" and has zero independent oversight.


I've never been in the system, but I've worked with a large number of kids in the system.  I imagine there's a bell curve of foster care quality with the bubble centered over mediocre, basic level of care.

Garbage bags as luggage happens because they're cheap, ubiquitous, and easy to grab.  They don't need to be stored and kept track of like suitcases do.  Sometimes kids are moved suddenly in the foster care system--lost a student over Christmas break that way last year.  The scenario probably involves a case worker coming in and just dumping dresser drawers into bags.

Kids in foster care don't have keepsakes or get to collect things as a hobby.  Maybe they've got some Pokemon cards or something, but nothing that can't be easily scooped up and put in the trash bag.
 
2018-06-22 11:43:30 AM  
thats it, i have been on fark for a while, so i know what i must do.

I must hate this man for capitalizing on the pain and suffering of children who have been separated from their parents!

did i do it right?
 
2018-06-22 12:12:56 PM  

AsparagusFTW: No snark.

That's just awesome.


I love that this is happening.

But I also hate that this is necessary.
 
2018-06-22 12:21:28 PM  
dittybopper:

The world needs more people like you and distaffbopper.

When our daughter came to us from DCFS she was 12 weeks old. She arrived on a snowy December night and when the agency workers brought in her car seat all we saw was a pile of blankets. They told us they didn't have a baby snowsuit so they had to bundle her up to keep her warm. Underneath 4 baby blankets we found her, wearing a dingy, faded onesy that looked like a Santa outfit. The only personal possessions were a couple soft rattles that were filthy and a scratched and faded baby bottle.

We became foster parents with the explicit goal of adopting. After many early losses we decided to adopt. We knew there was no way we could bring a child into our house just to have them leave so being regular foster parents wasn't a good idea at the time. We saw too many other foster parents in our network go through the heartache of working toward the termination of parental rights and finalizing the adoption only to have the rug pulled out from under them so we were scared it could happen to us. Fortunately (?) the birth mother had 4 previous children adopted by non-family members so the odds were in our favor. It took 2 years but she finally surrendered to us.
 
2018-06-22 01:14:48 PM  
Ten year / 25 foster house surviver here. Been out for 16 years, still use trash bags to move. :)
More people should use this trick, helps you keep perspective. It's all garbage anyway.

/and yeah, house, not home.
//refused adoption, so they kept kicking me to the curb.
///reunited with my family, still trying to make up for lost time.
////system is as corrupt as the Trump admin.
 
2018-06-22 01:46:18 PM  
From everything I've read, the system is more overburdened than ever with so many parents addicted to opioids and either dying of an overdose or being incapable of caring for their children.
 
2018-06-22 01:48:10 PM  
I had a friend who was on a tour of duty for the Air Force in South Korea (no families allowed) while her husband was deployed to Iraq.  Her mother was taking care of the kids, and grandma messes up(I think she had remarried a man who ended up being a drunk abusive bastard) and get's the kids taken away.  My friend has to emergency transfer from Korea back to the states, and fights for several months to get her kids back.

Kids were taken by the state, they had expensive suitcases full of nice clothes and toys that mom and dad had bought for them, when they sent them to Grandma's house.  They came back from the foster home, which also turned out to be as harmful and even more toxic than grandma, and all they had was raggedy old clothes that were not their own, in garbage bags.  Foster family had stole all the kids stuff.
 
2018-06-22 02:08:16 PM  

spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.


CPS is barely a step up from ICE.
 
2018-06-22 02:51:29 PM  
It is nice to see other foster/adoptive parents posting today. Those above me who had bad experiences with CPS and or foster homes, please accept my sincerest apologies. There are many of us who went into foster parenting who have tried to do the best they can for the kids that come into our homes.

Our only placement turned into adoption 4 years later. We are coming up that 5 year aniversary. It has also been one of those difficult weeks seening one of our kids go to the hospital again because of the shiat she had to deal with when she was with bio-mom that will most likely permanently affect her.

Dusty in here.
 
jvl [BareFark]
2018-06-22 03:01:10 PM  

Gordon Bennett: It reminds me of the baby boxes given to the parents of every newborn in Finland and Scotland. A great idea.


In the US you get a loot box provided by companies that want you to try their stuff.
 
2018-06-22 05:00:46 PM  

dittybopper: spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.

Kids are often pulled with little or no warning, planning, or foresight.  An accusation of abuse is made, CPS shows up, sees evidence of it, and yanks the kids immediately.

Typically, the sort of home they are yanked from doesn't have a matched set of American Tourister luggage.  Kids from well-to-do or even lower middle class don't end up in foster care, because in general, the sorts of parental behaviors that tend to get kids yanked bleed into other areas of their lives, meaning they usually have addiction or mental health or legal troubles, and thus are generally already on things like public assistance.

There were times we had to spend money out of our own pockets to buy clothes for our foster kids because everything they came to us with was unsuitable in some way, either torn or too small, and the clothing allowance you get isn't enough to buy a decent wardrobe from scratch.

And the saddest part of all is that it's common for the parents to throw out those clothes the kids got while in foster care.  Some psychological thing.  And toys and stuff that you got them.  Heartbreaking.

As for having duffel bags or something for the kids to put their clothes in, probably not a good idea.  When we got a kid in, if they weren't an infant, we'd immediately wash all of their clothes including the ones they were wearing.  We have some spare clothes at the ready for them to wear.  We did that to get rid of things like bedbugs and lice and their eggs and any other issues (often all the clothes were dirty).  And we throw out the garbage bag immediately.   I can't recall ever having a kid come in with lice or bedbugs, but it was not an uncommon phenomenon among foster kids.  So even if you did get duffel bags, they'd be a single use item most likely.

And, in the final measure, the indignity of having to carry ...


You Rock!  Seriously... good on you!
 
2018-06-22 07:33:41 PM  

dittybopper: spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.

Kids are often pulled with little or no warning, planning, or foresight.  An accusation of abuse is made, CPS shows up, sees evidence of it, and yanks the kids immediately.

Typically, the sort of home they are yanked from doesn't have a matched set of American Tourister luggage.  Kids from well-to-do or even lower middle class don't end up in foster care, because in general, the sorts of parental behaviors that tend to get kids yanked bleed into other areas of their lives, meaning they usually have addiction or mental health or legal troubles, and thus are generally already on things like public assistance.

There were times we had to spend money out of our own pockets to buy clothes for our foster kids because everything they came to us with was unsuitable in some way, either torn or too small, and the clothing allowance you get isn't enough to buy a decent wardrobe from scratch.

And the saddest part of all is that it's common for the parents to throw out those clothes the kids got while in foster care.  Some psychological thing.  And toys and stuff that you got them.  Heartbreaking.

As for having duffel bags or something for the kids to put their clothes in, probably not a good idea.  When we got a kid in, if they weren't an infant, we'd immediately wash all of their clothes including the ones they were wearing.  We have some spare clothes at the ready for them to wear.  We did that to get rid of things like bedbugs and lice and their eggs and any other issues (often all the clothes were dirty).  And we throw out the garbage bag immediately.   I can't recall ever having a kid come in with lice or bedbugs, but it was not an uncommon phenomenon among foster kids.  So even if you did get duffel bags, they'd be a single use item most likely.

And, in the final measure, the indignity of having to carry ...


Thanks. Really. Even if you don't do it anymore, you are a better person than I.
 
2018-06-22 10:50:29 PM  

Pats_Cloth_Coat: The CPS workers are paid a pittance and have overwhelming caseloads.


Certainly the case in Mass.
 
2018-06-23 12:45:06 PM  

spiralscratch: Trash bags? That's farked up. No one at CPS or these kid's prior homes or whatever thought to pick up some cheap duffle bags?

Well, good on this guy.


That's how it's gone forever... Who has the money to personally buy duffle bags for all of these kids? It was the first thing I bought when I was in the group home I was in, a couple of duffel bags so I could carry my shiat.

It's why I support my charity of choice. Together We Rise does this, they provide duffle bags and a teddy bear for kids. They also do bikes. You have a group get together and pay about $20 each to cover the cost and then they have a party to decorate the bags. They are then distributed to local foster kids in the area. The bike thing is a party to assemble the bikes, and they would once again be distributed locally. The other cool thing this charity does is have a yearly Disneyland event where they take foster siblings that have been placed in separate care and reunite them for the day.
 
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