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(Some Spontn80) Hero "Dear Daddy" - What would you say to your Dad today if you could? What did your kids say to you? Our 11th year   ( divider line
    More: Hero, Mother, Dear Daddy, Fatherhood, Father, Father's Day, 2005 singles, thread, 1996 albums  
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2619 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 17 Jun 2018 at 8:00 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2018-06-16 11:46:00 PM  
Here we are again my friends. Our Eleventh year. I've posted links to all ten previous years at the link.
I started this to get a few things off my chest. I evolved and so did these threads. They are, at the same time, heartbreaking and heartwarming, snarky and sincere, farking funny and the saddest thing you'll hear all day.
Dive in, it's easy, it's all down hill from here.
2018-06-17 12:02:24 AM  
You were always proud of me even though I didn't give you a reason to be.
2018-06-17 12:02:54 AM  
Just this minute finished watching Thor: Ragnarok with my dad. We've been watching all the Marvel movies together, and since neither of us are fans of theaters we wait for Netflix, but it's worth it.
2018-06-17 12:02:58 AM  
Same as last year: "Who are you?"

/never met the man
2018-06-17 12:03:30 AM  
Thanks for nothing, ya deadbeat.
2018-06-17 12:05:17 AM  
I've said all I ever will.  He didn't listen too well then, probably wouldn't now even it he could.
2018-06-17 12:08:12 AM  
I remember him having a valve replacement my senior year of high school. They said he would likely not survive the surgery but he was the strongest human being I will ever know. He caught a virus, an advanced case of scarlett fever in Korea in 1953 during a firefight. The fact he lived thirty years after that battle, after being stuck in a hole for 96 hours, then took no sick days, nothing for thirty years, is amazing.

He woke up five weeks to the day of a valve replacement surgery, got me up, then went to my brother's room, said he felt dizzy, and dropped dead.

For all the things I didnt say, I feel like shiat. An i love you now and again probably would have meant a lot to him. It was a different time though, the early 80s, and telling your dad you love him wasnt cool.

If I was then who I am now I would have embarrassed myself daily. The truth, however, is I am who I am because of him. I had a wonderful mother, she was amazing, but from my father I learned how to be a father. Two awesome daughters later I wish I could have him back for just 30 seconds, just to say yay or nay, you did or didnt do a good job with your daughters.

All this aside if I had him back I would just say yes, of course I will go fishing with you Saturday what is wrong with you, I would give up anything to spend time with you. That is the fantasy, the reality was a friend was having a party Saturday. When he asked I said I doubt it, I have shiat going on Saturday. There is nowhere I would rather have been, I hate fishing but loved my dad above and beyond, and if I could do it all over I would let him know of course I would go fishing Saturday, Id go anywhere with you.
2018-06-17 12:08:17 AM  
Dad is a Trumper, so there isn't much I can say to him. It's a good thing that I live in West Virginia and he lives in California. If we had to deal with each other on a daily basis, we probably wouldn't be speaking at all.
2018-06-17 12:11:12 AM  
You were right.
2018-06-17 12:11:41 AM  
While I was growing up my dad was a quiet, gentle and kind person who was always there for me but gave me space to find my own path. I like the person I became and he was a big reason for that. So to him I'd say thank you-especially since quite a few of my friends did not have positive experiences with their fathers.

I'm still filled with gratitude. I won the lottery.
2018-06-17 12:11:51 AM  
Why aren't you dead yet, you c***?
2018-06-17 12:15:38 AM  
I'd say "I miss you Dad. And I finally realize what your rock-solid devotion to us probably cost you and how very much it must have meant to you."

As for my kid, she's still on a personal high from 8th grade graduation yesterday and is at a sleepover with her "squad" tonight. Knowing she's happy is worth more than any words.
2018-06-17 12:17:37 AM  
I'll save you a click. I say it every year. It' alright.

Dear Daddy, Dan Grigor - 12-string virtuoso
Youtube iYS4EUU4aio
2018-06-17 12:26:37 AM  
Guns are stupid, bullets aren't tasty, and nothing is that bad ever.
2018-06-17 12:29:18 AM  
I grew up without a father, so mom was who I told Happy Fathers Day. During my first marriage, fathers day wasn't ever about me and my son continues that farking tradition. My step-daughter seems to always make a point to come by, give me a hug, a few peanut butter cups and somehow makes me tear up. That always reminds me that I'm not a crappy parent.
2018-06-17 12:35:59 AM  
I need to get back in touch with him.
2018-06-17 12:37:45 AM  
Time may soften the blow, but the void will always remain.  I appreciate all you taught me, all you did for me, us, you made me a better man.
2018-06-17 12:39:59 AM  
I'd thank him for instilling in me a lifelong love of music. I'd play him a nice jazzy chord melody on the guitar, one of his favorite types of tunes, and something he never got to hear me do before he died. I just know he'd beam with pride and ask me to play it again. Thanks, Dad. 21 years gone next week.
2018-06-17 12:41:28 AM  
My father is in declining health. He got heat exhaustion on a family vacation and had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He's better now but has a suspicious lung growth uncovered as part of the hospital examinations. He just had his 79th Bday. I wanted to drive down to be with him this weekend but got a respiratory virus myself. We're in touch almost daily and my sister will be down for his biopsy next Friday. I'll be on standby if needed--that's what he says he wants. I'm fortunate to have a great emotional relationship with him. Very little is unspoken and that which is unspoken is mutually understood. I'll talk with him today, of course.
2018-06-17 12:44:08 AM  
Recently lost mine. Glad I got to tell him I loved him and how good it was to reconnect with him ... and get his customer software running right for him. We didn't have a lot of my childhood together but can't blame that entirely on him. And then he went and produced several more half-siblings for me that i'm trying to build a relationship with as an adult.

I'd say, "You did your best at Dadding. Glad you were mine. Wish we had more time to know each other."
2018-06-17 12:44:28 AM  
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2018-06-17 12:48:29 AM  
I was waiting for my computer to power up yesterday and saw my reflection in the black screen.  It was one of those moments, one that I've experienced a few times over the years, where I could have sworn to God that I was looking at my father.  I generally don't think we look too much alike, but once in a while I totally see it.  I even adjusted my facial expression a few times to match those that my dad makes.  I probably would have looked like a complete weirdo to anyone watching me, but it's oddly reassuring to me to see my father in my reflection.  I guess that's a solid testament to his parenting skills.

My wife's dad is dealing with terminal cancer.  This is almost assuredly his last Father's Day on this earth.  I love the guy and am not looking forward to seeing him go.  I knew him before I knew my wife.  A great dad and a great guy.
2018-06-17 12:53:11 AM  
I also wish I had captured video while I could,  Photos are one thing but the sound of his voice (telling a Dad joke or story), his mannerisms and movements ... I wish I had that. It's just too easy these days! No excuse.
2018-06-17 1:04:25 AM  
2018-06-17 1:07:56 AM  
Your son is getting married again. This one is not a psycho, so we're good. It's been eight years this month, and I still think about you every day. I'll raise a glass to you as I do every year. Cancer sucks. Love you.

Thanks for this thread. Fathers Day still is rough. He was in the hospital for his last one, hundreds of miles away. When he came home, it was in an urn. He never got to open the last gift I bought him.
2018-06-17 1:19:06 AM  
I miss you, old timer. The family has really fallen apart in this last decade without you. You were my family, Dad.
2018-06-17 1:21:36 AM  
Every year that I'm a dad (14 and counting) I realize how bad a father my dad was.  How many missed opportunities to show love, support or to show me what it takes to be a good dad.  But I learned a lot from him still.  When ever I don't know what to do, I basically do anything my dad didn't do.  He's a horrible father and a worse grandfather.  He won't be missed.
2018-06-17 1:21:50 AM  
So here's a funny story and a more poignant one.

I grew up loving baseball.  My dad liked baseball but didn't love it nearly as much as I did.  Nonetheless, he always managed my Little League teams.  He worked full time, commuted an hour each way, but still found time to coach my teams and would take me out for batting or fielding practice nearly every day.  At my request.  He was supportive but not pushy.  The best kind of Little League dad.

When I was 11 I was the shortstop for our 9-12 year old team, the best team in town.  We were undefeated but were facing the second best team in the league.  They had a pitcher who threw harder than Nolan Ryan, it seemed.  I asked my dad to take me to a ball field before the game and throw as hard as he possibly could to me.  I figured that if I could hit off my dad, all 6'1"/200 pounds of him, I could hit off this kid.

When we got there and were about to start we realized we forgot my batting helmet at home.  We both took note but decided to chance it anyways.  My dad had never hit me in the head, so what could go wrong?

First pitch, of course, hits me square in the head.  I hit the dirt and my dad came running up to me, asking if I was ok.  Once I gathered myself I assured him I was fine.  Second words out of his mouth were, "Please, don't tell your mother."  I've kept that secret for more than 30 years.

More poignant, later that year our team won the city championship.  My dad, being the manager of our team, was tasked with selecting and coaching the All Star team.  He didn't pick me.  I didn't think much of it because I honestly didn't think I deserved it, plus I was a year younger than most of the team.  My dad did take me as an alternate, which meant I got to practice and travel with the team but didn't get to suit up for games.  One day, as the games were about to start, my dad took me out to hit me fly balls for practice.  At one point I came in and made a diving catch.  I didn't think too much of it but my dad ran up to tell me what a great catch it was.  Then he went into how he was so sorry he didn't pick me for the All Star team.  He told me he was trying not to play favorites but the other coaches told him he was crazy and should have picked me.  He told me how terrible he felt about not taking me on the team and was losing sleep over how much I must be detesting him and that he wished he could do it over again.  All this was a bombshell to me because, again, I hadn't given it much thought.  Finally my dad looked at me with tears in his eyes and asked, "Are we still pals?"  It hit me like a ton of bricks because we didn't typically have conversations like that.  I told him of course we were.  We shook hands and went on with practice.

I do love my dad.
2018-06-17 1:31:13 AM  
I'd say fark you for being a pedophile.
2018-06-17 1:43:52 AM  
Wish you were here.

(year 7).
2018-06-17 3:45:37 AM  
Thanks for reminding me I should call him in the morning.  He's a great guy.  I'm lucky.
2018-06-17 5:30:39 AM  
(Saturday afternoon) Hey, Dad. Let's you and me go to mass tomorrrow and then we'll go to Eat-n-Park for breakfast afterwards. 8:00 mass work for you?
2018-06-17 5:31:50 AM  
/ not churchy in any degree.... just know that's important to him and, I guess, I could sit through a 45 min mass on an occasional Sunday if it makes him happy.
2018-06-17 5:33:19 AM  
/ Dad passed in 1995
2018-06-17 6:51:46 AM  
My son: "Father?"

 Me: "Yes, son?"

My son: "I want to kill you"

Then he walked on down the hall.
2018-06-17 6:52:38 AM  
I hope that my retirement lasts longer than yours did.

(He died in his late 60's, and I'm currently 65).

Off to see my grandson today - and, no doubt, to pick up some wonderful beers from my marvellous daughter for Father's Day.
2018-06-17 7:17:58 AM  
1 Honestly dont know, He never got to see me Married
2 THe kids are off with their Sperm Donar. so nothing
2018-06-17 7:39:51 AM  
A CSB that I feel explains my dad pretty well: When I was a little kid, me and bunch of others got attacked by a potentially rabid dog while we were walking home from the bus stop.  When my dad found out what had happened, he got a pipe, a chain, a knife, and a gun.  He opened the door, said, "I'll be right back" and left to go hunt down the dog.

I'm glad I got the dad I did.  He's very self-aware and tries his best to learn from his mistakes, something that I've tried to emulate.  I've known lots of folks who didn't fare as well with their dads.
2018-06-17 7:40:49 AM  
For the first time in my 50 years on this planet, I won't be able to have a chat with my dad today.

We lost him to cancer last July (fark cancer!) and while he went about as well as any man could -- peacefully, in his sleep, surrounded by his children -- from now on, this holiday will be nothing but a reminder of a big part of my life no longer being here.

Instead, I'l drive over to the National Cemetery and stare at a marble headstone and try not to cry too much, though I know it's okay as I won't be the only one in the field with tears in their eyes. And then I'll go back home and have a small glass of the Johnny Walker Blue he left me...that I only drink on his birthday and today.

I miss you, Dad, each and every day.
2018-06-17 8:02:05 AM  
So far, none of my cretins have acknowledged me, despite my wife and her aunt both making a point to say it as loud as they could.

Ungrateful little ingrates.

Why, yes, that IS an excuse to start drinking this early.
2018-06-17 8:05:06 AM  
Why haven't you died yet, asshole?

/probably works for my kids to me too
2018-06-17 8:10:07 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: You were always proud of me even though I didn't give you a reason to be.

Me too.
2018-06-17 8:10:44 AM  
my dad is alive. i can talk to him anytime. hi dad.
2018-06-17 8:10:45 AM  
If I had the chance, I'd exchange you for my father in law. Even though (and probably because) he's 30-ish years your senior, he's more of a man than you'd ever be, and has taught me more in 18 years of knowing him than you could in the 36 I've been alive.

I'm not who I am because of you, but in spite of you.
2018-06-17 8:11:59 AM  
The old man turns 79 in a few days. He's easily on track to see 90.
2018-06-17 8:14:27 AM  
I would want to thank him for all my misdeeds he overlooked and tell him what a great job he did raising me up.
2018-06-17 8:16:00 AM  
Nothing. Haven't said a thing to him in a long time, and I don't have any intention of ever changing that.

/He's a piece of shiat.
2018-06-17 8:17:52 AM  
Hey sorry I moved into the basement for roughly half a year around 2010.  Bad career choices and bad economy.  I know having your 30-something son living rent free in your place must have really annoyed you, and made you wonder what kind of dud son you had.

But hey, thanks for the free internet, the beer in the fridge and letting me use the spare car.
2018-06-17 8:18:38 AM  
Dear daddy

You have been gone now for three years. As my father, you were an abusive, tyrannical drunk who did more smacking then talking. However, I did learn plenty from you. Mostly what not to do and how not to be, but there is no denying you had an impact (pun intended). But hey, at least you were not a total shrew like the other half of the equation.

I hope you are finally at peace...
2018-06-17 8:19:25 AM  
Every one of these posts makes me want a drink for different resons. And just for the record, my dad was... Tough but fair. I'm gonna take him lunch later.

Shiat. I probably gotta put pants on.
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