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(Wide Open Spaces)   The morel of the story is, sometimes a mushroom is just a mushroom   (wideopenspaces.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Psilocybin mushrooms, police officer, FOOT-TALL MOREL MUSHROOM, Morchella, psychedelic psilocybin mushrooms, morel mushrooms, since-deleted Facebook post, magic mushroom party  
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6428 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2018 at 8:46 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2018-06-02 6:47:17 PM  
That is clearly a website with the highest standards of quality and integrity and I look forward to Fark greenlighting more submissions from it that will showcase its relentless commitment to telling the hard, unfiltered truths that we all need to hear.
 
2018-06-02 6:54:39 PM  
d.justpo.stView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 7:09:01 PM  
Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?
 
2018-06-02 7:38:07 PM  
Well, shiatake.
 
2018-06-02 7:41:49 PM  

davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?


Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.
 
2018-06-02 7:56:38 PM  
You know what they say about women with loose morels....

They prefer a fungi
 
2018-06-02 8:02:00 PM  

davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?


Why give up an excuse to hassle someone?
 
2018-06-02 8:49:57 PM  
I see what you did there subby .
 
2018-06-02 8:50:07 PM  
Morel Oral?
 
2018-06-02 8:52:42 PM  

iron de havilland: davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?

Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.


It's was pretty common a while back for immigrants from south east asian countries to be poisoned by eating mushrooms that looked the same as ones they ate safely in their native counties. Haven't heard of a case recently though.

Still, fark mushrooms.
 
2018-06-02 8:53:02 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Mushrooms?
 
2018-06-02 8:58:21 PM  

davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocy​b​in_mushroom
 
2018-06-02 8:59:29 PM  

Antidamascus: [img.fark.net image 615x410]

Mushrooms?


media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 8:59:44 PM  
The real magic mushrooms vine
Youtube eS7Gzip8t8Y
 
2018-06-02 9:02:13 PM  

davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?


What the investigating officer may have looked like after his partner arrived and informed him that indeed, they were not magic mushrooms:

mikestakeonthemovies.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 9:02:16 PM  
I just did an image search for magic mushrooms and none of them on the first page looked like morels.
 
2018-06-02 9:03:16 PM  

wax_on: iron de havilland: davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?

Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.

It's was pretty common a while back for immigrants from south east asian countries to be poisoned by eating mushrooms that looked the same as ones they ate safely in their native counties. Haven't heard of a case recently though.

Still, fark mushrooms.


Turns out the guy I was thinking of wrote The Horse Whisperer.
 
2018-06-02 9:03:49 PM  

iron de havilland: davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?

Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.


Eastern Europeans come up to my neck of the woods always rummaging through the forest looking for random things that are edible.
I however, don't even try when it comes to the native shrooms.
Example:
The DESTROYING ANGEL
img.fark.netView Full Size


Look alot like the edible and delicious young Puffball muahroom however its easier to error on the sode of caution and not die.

Young Puffball
img.fark.netView Full Size


I know people who forage for Mushrooms and make a pretty decent profit selling them.
 
2018-06-02 9:03:58 PM  

iron de havilland: Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.


Even professional mycologist get into fits trying to figure out what species a certsinushroom is. A lot of it comes down to microscopic differences in tiny features like spore size and shape.

That's why I stick to buying mushrooms from the grocery store. And I'm wary of eating foraged ones as it only takes one bad mushroom--like a deadly poisonous Amanita--to cause organ failure.
 
2018-06-02 9:05:44 PM  
 
2018-06-02 9:06:04 PM  
Is shroom porn a thing? (rhetorical question)

cdn0.wideopenspaces.comView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 9:11:36 PM  
Kefka1911:

eyeq360:


These guys get it.

Avoid all the mushrooms, unless the stalks bruise blue.

/Still probably better to grow your own, however 😜
 
2018-06-02 9:11:46 PM  
lol, it's illegal to possess wildly grown Psilocybin in the States? Silly question, gotta go after those harmless plants we have evolved alongside for thousands of years, like jesus intended.

/grew some during highschool in Canada with spores purchased legally, but it was a short lived operation. That box of fungis had... a powerful smell.
//Also grew DMT grass in an attempt to make DMT, but damn squirrels ate it all...
///Three woahs.
 
2018-06-02 9:16:02 PM  
I don't about you all, but these mushrooms puns are a real death cap.
 
2018-06-02 9:17:07 PM  

phishrace: Is shroom porn a thing? (rhetorical question)

[cdn0.wideopenspaces.com image 540x960]


Kinda looks like a buttplug, if that's your thing.
 
2018-06-02 9:17:27 PM  
I wonder how much of a laughingstock that idiot is in his department now.
 
2018-06-02 9:17:45 PM  
TIL: Kids nowadays will post pictures of where they find morels, which on some cameras will leave location data embedded in the file.

Also that cops can be ignorant gits.

/first rule of morel club
 
2018-06-02 9:19:59 PM  
I'll just call Psilocybe "imitation morels" from now on.

Global distribution of 100+ psychoactive species of genus Psilocybemushrooms:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


There's a good cluster of imitation morels in the PNW but I've never seen any, AFAIK.
 
2018-06-02 9:20:01 PM  

Kefka1911: iron de havilland: davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?

Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.

Eastern Europeans come up to my neck of the woods always rummaging through the forest looking for random things that are edible.
I however, don't even try when it comes to the native shrooms.
Example:
The DESTROYING ANGEL
[img.fark.net image 425x566]

Look alot like the edible and delicious young Puffball muahroom however its easier to error on the sode of caution and not die.

Young Puffball
[img.fark.net image 259x194]

I know people who forage for Mushrooms and make a pretty decent profit selling them.


I get a few pounds each trip.
2 today.
I give them to a chef at an Omni resort.
I have a running tab were I get so many dollars in credit for so many pounds of morels.
I have yet to cash in, but I could probably eat well with guests now and only worry about the tip.
And I tip.

Pretty easy to tell the real ones.
And I cut them in half long wise to show that.
And to get the centipedes out.
 
2018-06-02 9:23:55 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size


Shrooms, old and busted. New hotness, Guatemalan Insanity Peppers
 
2018-06-02 9:24:09 PM  

Kefka1911: Eastern Europeans come up to my neck of the woods always rummaging through the forest looking for random things that are edible.
I however, don't even try when it comes to the native shrooms.
Example:
The DESTROYING ANGEL
[img.fark.net image 425x566]

Look alot like the edible and delicious young Puffball muahroom however its easier to error on the sode of caution and not die.

Young Puffball
[img.fark.net image 259x194]

I know people who forage for Mushrooms and make a pretty decent profit selling them.


The button stage of the Destroying Angel and other deadly Amanita species do resemble small puffballs, which are not poisonous. At best, puffballs are edible and delicious; at worse, they're bitter and disgusting.
From what I have read, you cut them in half and see what the inside looks like. If it's homogenous inside--like cream cheese or a sponge--it's a puffball. If it isn't, like it has a mushroom shape inside, it's likely an Amanita. This is not always exact, as in some cases, you need a magnifying glass and a good source of light to see the outline of a developing mushroom.
If you can't tell and aren't sure, just throw it away. Not worth trying it and ending up in the hospital.
 
2018-06-02 9:27:55 PM  

eyeq360: iron de havilland: Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.

Even professional mycologist get into fits trying to figure out what species a certsinushroom is. A lot of it comes down to microscopic differences in tiny features like spore size and shape.

That's why I stick to buying mushrooms from the grocery store. And I'm wary of eating foraged ones as it only takes one bad mushroom--like a deadly poisonous Amanita--to cause organ failure.


Certsinushroom sounds tasty!
 
2018-06-02 9:30:23 PM  

biggamehickman: eyeq360: iron de havilland: Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.

Even professional mycologist get into fits trying to figure out what species a certsinushroom is. A lot of it comes down to microscopic differences in tiny features like spore size and shape.

That's why I stick to buying mushrooms from the grocery store. And I'm wary of eating foraged ones as it only takes one bad mushroom--like a deadly poisonous Amanita--to cause organ failure.

Certsinushroom sounds tasty!


Certain mushroom. Stupid smartphone keyboard is acting up.
 
2018-06-02 9:34:06 PM  

abhorrent1: Cops are dumb

http://gothamist.com/2013/05/09/cops_c​ome_when_brooklyn_tomato_plan.php


One of my main reasons why I don't have warm and fuzzy feelings towards police is that they seem to get such an overwhelming rush from drug busts, blarping on and on to the media about the (inflated) value of such busts, willfully ignorant of the harm they cause to society with their ham-handed attitude towards scary, scary drugs.

To me, they are similar to hornets, bears or sharks. An essential part of the ecosystem, but do what you can to avoid crossing their paths and earning their ire.
 
2018-06-02 9:34:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
come get me
 
2018-06-02 9:34:37 PM  
Where I grew up, we at morels and shaggy mane when we found them. Oh, and larger puffballs sometimes.
They're rather distinctive.
 
2018-06-02 9:35:04 PM  

phishrace: Is shroom porn a thing? (rhetorical question)

[cdn0.wideopenspaces.com image 540x960]


Although I thoroughly enjoy both, I do not want to think about fungus and women at the same time. Sorry.
 
2018-06-02 9:41:17 PM  

phishrace: Is shroom porn a thing? (rhetorical question)

[cdn0.wideopenspaces.com image 540x960]


Rule 34, man.
 
2018-06-02 9:44:04 PM  
People who make food puns should be beet.
 
2018-06-02 9:45:23 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 9:45:41 PM  

Mock26: People who make food puns should be beet.


Beet? That won't get to the root of the problem.
 
2018-06-02 9:53:48 PM  

eyeq360: Mock26: People who make food puns should be beet.

Beet? That won't get to the root of the problem.


smdh

A time will come when you both roux the day you'd considered making such offal jokes.
 
2018-06-02 9:55:48 PM  

Kefka1911: iron de havilland: davidphogan: Seriously? Cops don't know what the good shrooms look like?

Yeah, well all I know of wild shrooms is that the good ones bruise blue.

Beyond that, f*ck foraging for fungus. There are so many shrooms that look like edible shrooms but will actually kill you that it's not worth it.

/I'm also kind of thinking of the family of amateur mycologists who went fungus-foraging a few years back and all ended up with massive kidney failure for their efforts.
//Guy was a published author.
///F*ck that noise.

Eastern Europeans come up to my neck of the woods always rummaging through the forest looking for random things that are edible.
I however, don't even try when it comes to the native shrooms.
Example:
The DESTROYING ANGEL
[img.fark.net image 425x566]

Look alot like the edible and delicious young Puffball muahroom however its easier to error on the sode of caution and not die.

Young Puffball
[img.fark.net image 259x194]

I know people who forage for Mushrooms and make a pretty decent profit selling them.


Morels, chanterelles, matsutake, chicken of the woods, boletus and a bunch of others aren't hard to identify with some education
 
2018-06-02 10:01:54 PM  

iron de havilland: eyeq360: Mock26: People who make food puns should be beet.

Beet? That won't get to the root of the problem.

smdh

A time will come when you both roux the day you'd considered making such offal jokes.


Lettuce leaf it right there.
 
2018-06-02 10:05:31 PM  
Okay, okay.  Fine.  We'll play this stupid game, again.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-06-02 10:05:48 PM  

iron de havilland: eyeq360: Mock26: People who make food puns should be beet.

Beet? That won't get to the root of the problem.

smdh

A time will come when you both roux the day you'd considered making such offal jokes.


That's a saucy statement. Don't stew too long while the plot thickens.
 
2018-06-02 10:30:13 PM  
"We let them in and as soon as the police officer walked in he asked us why we were eating mushrooms and posting about it online. He thought he was on the biggest bust of his career thinking we were having a magic mushroom party before I explained to him that morels are a native choice mushroom similar to truffles."

LOL. Let them in. Hey, come on in and search the place. We have nothing to hide. Ha, ha, ha. *wipes away tear*
 
2018-06-02 10:36:51 PM  
I once stopped at my aunts house to visit. She wasn't home, but I noticed her yard was covered in morels.

I took every farking one from her yard and didn't say a damn thing to her about it.
 
2018-06-02 10:52:00 PM  

iron de havilland: eyeq360: Mock26: People who make food puns should be beet.

Beet? That won't get to the root of the problem.

smdh

A time will come when you both roux the day you'd considered making such offal jokes.


smdh

If you had taken the thyme to think before posting you would not have missed out on such a great pun.
 
2018-06-02 10:56:36 PM  
The real morel of the story is that someone at their PD is spending way too much time scouring Facebook looking for stuff to arrest people on.
 
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