Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Nola.com)   Televangelist claims that Jebus wants people to buy him a new $54 million Dassault Falcon 7X business jet, because his three other jets aren't up to par   (nola.com) divider line
    More: Murica, Lord Jesus Christ, Jesse Duplantis, Jesus, 40-year-oldJesse Duplantis, Falcon 7X, Business jet, Dassault Aviation, Dassault Falcon 7X  
•       •       •

9435 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2018 at 9:50 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



251 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2018-05-29 9:18:10 AM  
"I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says in the video. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

No, he'd be riding you, because you're an ass.
 
2018-05-29 9:20:32 AM  
That's taking the Lord's name in vain.  Violation of the 3rd Commandment.

Can we stone him for it?
 
2018-05-29 9:21:38 AM  

naughtyrev: "I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says in the video. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

No, he'd be riding you, because you're an ass.


placetobenation.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 9:22:05 AM  
Silly televangelist. You should always lease private jets.
 
2018-05-29 9:24:29 AM  

naughtyrev: "I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says in the video. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

No, he'd be riding you, because you're an ass.


He'd storm into your "church," flip over your tables, and chase you with a whip.
 
2018-05-29 9:25:46 AM  
Also, Jesus rode a donkey because it was the "humble" method of transportation. Rich people had horses, rode in litters carried by slaves, and so on.

Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.
 
2018-05-29 9:27:06 AM  

dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.


Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.
 
2018-05-29 9:29:13 AM  
If Creflo Dollar can get a bigger jet, this guy needs one too!
 
2018-05-29 9:33:29 AM  
And yet these two grifters, along with thousands of others just like them, continue to be showered in cash they fleece from people who don't have the mental capacity to realize they are being taken.

Being spit roasted on satan's cock for eternity isn't a good enough punishment for them.
 
2018-05-29 9:33:41 AM  
What a weird coincidence. Jesus wants people to buy me a Dassault too.
 
2018-05-29 9:34:25 AM  
Oh and I left out the tax-free potion of the equation.
 
2018-05-29 9:34:54 AM  

markie_farkie: And yet these two grifters, along with thousands of others just like them, continue to be showered in cash they fleece from people who don't have the mental capacity to realize they are being taken.

Being spit roasted on satan's cock for eternity isn't a good enough punishment for them.


Every person who gives money to crooks like these should be made to watch the Jon Oliver where he set himself up to do this. Just on the off chance that something would sink in.
 
2018-05-29 9:41:02 AM  
"I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says in the video. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

Considering he grew up a Palestinian, he'd never make it on a flight because of the terrorist watch list.
 
2018-05-29 9:43:27 AM  
Jesus preached there will be all sorts of false teachers and this doofus is one of the biggest
 
2018-05-29 9:47:07 AM  
I'll ask again, why do demons need to fly commercial? It's seems to me a demon could just incant some spell or sacrifice a toad and be where they want to be.

Also any demon worth his salt should be able to use trickery and deceit to get on a private jet of his or hers choosing.
 
2018-05-29 9:50:57 AM  
Bully on him for asking.  It's the people who give him the money that should be flagellant.
 
2018-05-29 9:52:01 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.


Jesus Christ superstar
riding real fast on a Yamaha
Sees a tree but he don't care
he's wearing bullet proof underwear...

(song to the tune of Jesus Christ, Superstar from the Broadway musical)
 
2018-05-29 9:52:08 AM  
memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 9:52:39 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 9:53:07 AM  
These people are the worst kinds of scum.  They are however happy scum floating on the swamp with trump.
 
2018-05-29 9:53:33 AM  
I will pray and become a partner in this.

Riding in a luxury jet sounds like fun, and the prayers don't cost me nothing.
 
2018-05-29 9:54:02 AM  
The Prosperity Gospel is one of the most unchristian ethoses on the planet.  Every one of them is a farking hypocrite.  If Jesus were really their savior he would come back and slap them unconscious.
 
2018-05-29 9:54:16 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.


Well, Acts does mention the disciples all together in one Accord...
 
2018-05-29 9:54:37 AM  
And exactly why aren't we taxing churches?  By the way, for those of you who say 1st Amendment go and find out if that prevents newspapers from getting taxed.
 
2018-05-29 9:54:45 AM  
In 2015, Duplantis and Copeland defended their use of private jets. In a segment on Copeland's television program, they argued that commercial planes were full of "a bunch of demons"

Well, I cannot argue with that.
 
2018-05-29 9:55:13 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.


It's right in the bible.  "The disciples were all in one Accord."
 
2018-05-29 9:55:26 AM  
But you're all perfectly fine with it if he was a sportball player.
 
2018-05-29 9:56:42 AM  
I am reminded of Dire Strait's "Ticket to Heaven."

Fitting for this thread.
 
2018-05-29 9:56:44 AM  
Jesus would not need a plane, Jesse..

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


Because he MFing Jesus
 
2018-05-29 9:57:00 AM  

hobnail: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.

It's right in the bible.  "The disciples were all in one Accord."


So Jesus hung around with a bunch of midgets and contortionists?
 
2018-05-29 9:57:09 AM  

ds615: But you're all perfectly fine with it if he was a sportball player.


Can't say I've ever had a sportsball player ask me for donations for his own personal luxury enrichment, but maybe that's just me.
 
2018-05-29 9:57:23 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.


Why not. Weren't he and the disciples in one Accord?
 
2018-05-29 9:58:12 AM  

Wraithstrike: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.

Why not. Weren't he and the disciples in one Accord?


ba-dum-tssss
 
2018-05-29 9:58:42 AM  

ds615: But you're all perfectly fine with it if he was a sportball player.


Private jets are incredibly selfish and harmful to the environment.   But as usual you don't understand the opposition... people are opposed to it because of what his profession is (supposed to act like).

Read your own farking Bible
 
2018-05-29 9:58:48 AM  

Prey4reign: "I really believe that if the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn't be riding a donkey," Duplantis says in the video. "He'd be in an airplane flying all over the world."

Considering he grew up a Palestinian, he'd never make it on a flight because of the terrorist watch list.


Grew up Palestinian? Not in the modern context of that world, Palestinian today simply refers to the Arab population living, or who did live, in the geographical area of Palestine before and after the establishment of Israel.  Prior to that it simply referred to anyone who lived in the area of Palestine, which would include all the Jews of Jesus' time among whom he numbered
 
2018-05-29 9:58:48 AM  

hobnail: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.

It's right in the bible.  "The disciples were all in one Accord."


He may drive an Accord, but I have it on good authority that He builds hot rods in his down time.
 
2018-05-29 9:58:53 AM  
Every time one of these stories comes up, I think to myself "I wish I had the lack of scruples needed to do this," but then I think, "too bad I'm so bad at lying that I would suck at it even if I tried."
 
2018-05-29 9:58:54 AM  
I think it's good that hucksters like these continue to prosper.

They're so blatantly corrupt, and so obviously dishonest, that if a person is capable of piercing the lie of organized religion, it will be via one of these types.  And if someone starts questioning this dude's implementation of the religion con, they might be able to realize that all organized religion run different flavors of the same con.

Obviously, it's not going to be huge numbers.  But if just a few believers start to question what they have been accepting uncritically because of this charlatan, then I suppose he is in some small way contributing to the betterment of society against his own intentions.
 
2018-05-29 9:59:00 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 10:00:31 AM  

pueblonative: hobnail: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.

It's right in the bible.  "The disciples were all in one Accord."

So Jesus hung around with a bunch of midgets and contortionists?


Little people, and yeah, they all were basically circus folk, doing tricks  illusions and what not.  (It was the whores who were doing tricks).

/also, shakes fist at Chariset.
 
2018-05-29 10:01:47 AM  
Jesse went to Terrebone high School in Houma Louisiana with my mother and used to cheat off her in Spanish class used to be a doper and in a rock band.

If I were not waiting to catch a plane in Panama back to the States I would post his year book pic.
 
2018-05-29 10:01:52 AM  
I got to tour one at Duncan Aviation (basically they are the place to go if you want pimp your private jet).  They flew it in empty (with weights to compensate for all the missing cabinets and whatnot) so I got to see it bare bones, was pretty neat.  It was also the first one I saw with "fly by wire" capabilities.

Best thing there was another private jet that had alternating green and purple seats....I swear it was made for The Joker.

/CATIA admin
//Dassault is a trigger word for me
 
2018-05-29 10:02:05 AM  
"In 2015, Duplantis and Copeland defended their use of private jets. In a segment on Copeland's television program, they argued that commercial planes were full of "a bunch of demons" that will bog down their busy schedules with prayer requests"

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 10:02:06 AM  

Wraithstrike: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dv-ous: Jesus would DD a carefully maintained 1996 Ford Escort, and fly coach.

Nah, Jesus would drive a Honda, but he wouldn't talk about it.

Why not. Weren't he and the disciples in one Accord?


I had 7 people in my 1996 accord once. I don't recommend it. But Jesus could do it
 
2018-05-29 10:02:09 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 10:02:23 AM  

ds615: But you're all perfectly fine with it if he was a sportball player.


He wouldn't be bilking a bunch of grannies for the money, AND he'd be paying taxes on his earnings.
 
2018-05-29 10:02:54 AM  
Good people on both sides of the pew.
 
2018-05-29 10:02:56 AM  

RJReves: Jesus would not need a plane, Jesse..

[i.pinimg.com image 471x610]

Because he MFing Jesus


In case you some of heathens do not get the reference...
whyevolutionistrue.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-29 10:03:03 AM  

GoodDoctorB: ds615: But you're all perfectly fine with it if he was a sportball player.

Can't say I've ever had a sportsball player ask me for donations for his own personal luxury enrichment, but maybe that's just me.


If it was Ricky Henderson...maybe. He'd preach it in the third person.

"Heh, see Ricky..., Ricky need a new $57 million dollar jet so Ricky can fly non-stop and demon free."
 
2018-05-29 10:03:15 AM  

AquaTatanka: The Prosperity Gospel is one of the most unchristian ethoses on the planet.  Every one of them is a farking hypocrite.  If Jesus were really their savior he would come back and slap them unconscious.


As a Christian, I just cringe when I hear these shysters speak
 
Displayed 50 of 251 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter




In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.