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(WFTV Orlando)   5 things to know before hurricane season. Oddly, 'get the hell out of Florida' not on the list   ( wftv.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Assemble disaster supplies, Tropical cyclone, National Weather Service, Store outdoor objects, 30-day waiting period, emergency evacuation plan, Storm, Wind  
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2208 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2018 at 2:20 PM (29 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-05-17 10:32:42 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 10:39:11 AM  
Store outdoor objects such as patio furniture, trash cans or grills before they become deadly missiles during high winds.

Don't let this happen to you:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 02:21:50 PM  
Hasn't New Jersey taken more direct hits recently than Florida?
 
2018-05-17 02:23:25 PM  
Yeah. They should move to Hawaii. I hear there's some new places on the market, super cheap.
 
2018-05-17 02:23:35 PM  

MrBallou: Store outdoor objects such as patio furniture, trash cans or grills before they become deadly missiles during high winds.

Don't let this happen to you:
[img.fark.net image 330x292]


Laugh all you want.

img.fark.netView Full Size


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 02:25:57 PM  
6.  Make sure your swimming lessons are up to date.
7.  Install a windmill.  (did you know hurricanes have trillions of watts of energy just waiting for the harvesting?)
8.  Have a boat in the yard on blocks.
9.  It isn't what the wind is blowin, just that it's blowin.  Be sure to do your situps the morning of the landfall.
10.  Invest in a landmine network around your boat and your windmill.  Your neighbors will be wanting to take these from you when the storm hits.
 
2018-05-17 02:28:20 PM  

theresnothinglft: 6.  Make sure your swimming lessons are up to date.
7.  Install a windmill.  (did you know hurricanes have trillions of watts of energy just waiting for the harvesting?)
8.  Have a boat in the yard on blocks.
9.  It isn't what the wind is blowin, just that it's blowin.  Be sure to do your situps the morning of the landfall.
10.  Invest in a landmine network around your boat and your windmill.  Your neighbors will be wanting to take these from you when the storm hits.


11. Don't forget your bath salts.  Just because it's a hurricane doesn't mean you shouldn't snap and go cannibal on I-275
 
2018-05-17 02:28:56 PM  
The only real rule is "don't be a farking jackass; buy your goddamned supplies."

I say this as a jackass who hasn't bought his goddamned supplies in the past. Just don't do it. Not every storm is a joke.
 
2018-05-17 02:33:18 PM  
12. Don't wait until the last minute to take guitar lessons.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 02:35:00 PM  
The one that always gets me. The generator goes outside the house you idiot.
 
2018-05-17 02:35:09 PM  
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2018-05-17 02:37:48 PM  
A hurricane f'ing blows.

Seriously, hurricanes generally aren't any big deal.  You get plenty of warning, you know what's coming.  Plan for it.  Unless you're right in the middle of where the eye of a Cat4+ hits, it's no big deal.  No power for a few days; grocery stores here have backup generators.
 
2018-05-17 02:40:49 PM  

KingBiefWhistle: The only real rule is "don't be a farking jackass; buy your goddamned supplies."


They do buy supplies. They listen to the news talk about how the hurricane is coming for a week and a half, then go the day before it makes landfall to get them and then are surprised that there's nothing left.
 
2018-05-17 02:42:12 PM  

Evil Mackerel: [img.fark.net image 850x765]
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[img.fark.net image 850x653]
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[img.fark.net image 850x850]


Yeah with my luck,

img.fark.netView Full Size


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2018-05-17 02:44:55 PM  
Stack 5 gal. buckets sealed with fresh water in the bathroom.
It stores heat for cold nights.
You can flush with it.
You can boil it and drink it, if you have to.

Keep a 5 gallon bucket full of TP, clean socks and skivvies, bar of soap, and towels.

Get a solar charger for your phone before you need a solar charger for your phone.
 
2018-05-17 02:46:59 PM  
And don't forget to wait until the last minute, to buy gas for your generator. Be sure and haul it, in the back seat of your sedan with the kiddo's.
 
2018-05-17 02:49:44 PM  

abhorrent1: KingBiefWhistle: The only real rule is "don't be a farking jackass; buy your goddamned supplies."

They do buy supplies. They listen to the news talk about how the hurricane is coming for a week and a half, then go the day before it makes landfall to get them and then are surprised that there's nothing left.


Yes that is also a bad idea don't do that
 
2018-05-17 02:50:49 PM  
I was hoping for a list of the best streaming links to watch idiots challenge poseidon
 
2018-05-17 03:01:28 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


"Curse you merciful Poseidon!"
 
2018-05-17 03:09:25 PM  

KingBiefWhistle: abhorrent1: KingBiefWhistle: The only real rule is "don't be a farking jackass; buy your goddamned supplies."

They do buy supplies. They listen to the news talk about how the hurricane is coming for a week and a half, then go the day before it makes landfall to get them and then are surprised that there's nothing left.

Yes that is also a bad idea don't do that


So planning ahead, I went to Lowe's in search of an upgraded generator with electric start. NOPE! Can't have one. Can't order one from them online either. Central Fl Lowe's is out and no ETA on when they will be available. Limited offerings at Home Despot. I bought / ordered one from Tractor Supply. Lowe's told me to wait, they probably will get them in right before the next storm.  No. I do not choose to do that. They lost like 5 sales just from my neighborhood.  I know, they don't care. Right before the next storm they'll have them sitting in the aisles. People will buy them, then immediately return after they get their electricity back.  If I was selling generators and someone tried to return it 'used' after the storm?  They would be told 'no return' once fuel hits the tank.  I have a generator which served me well for 10 days of no electric after Irma passed over. Its pull start. Old me does not want to deal with that if I do not have to.  I was the only one on my end of the neighborhood who had one. None being readily available or not being able to order one is not helping...
 
2018-05-17 03:13:53 PM  

Sean M: A hurricane f'ing blows.

Seriously, hurricanes generally aren't any big deal.  You get plenty of warning, you know what's coming.  Plan for it.  Unless you're right in the middle of where the eye of a Cat4+ hits, it's no big deal.  No power for a few days; grocery stores here have backup generators.


img.fark.netView Full Size

No big deal at all.

Irma. 9-11-17. 151 mph sustained for 10 hours. 2 F2 tornados.
 
2018-05-17 03:17:38 PM  
As someone moving back to SW Florida this July, I'm getting a kick out of this thread
 
2018-05-17 03:24:42 PM  
1. If you live in Florida for a little while, you will experience a hurricane.

2. If you live in Florida a long time, you will experience hurricane damage.

3. Those who have lived in Florida all their lives will eventually lose property to a hurricane.
 
2018-05-17 03:38:36 PM  
When a man comes on the radio and tells you that if you absolutely must stay in your town, be prepared with an axe (getting through roof),. a firearm or instrument of protection, and any flotation device you can think of, it's time to go. And I don't mean some jackwagon from CNN sexing up a storm. This is what our local guy said, staring somberly into the camera and speaking in a measured tone designed to inform, not cause panic. He even said something along the lines of "godspeed, everyone."

 So subby, after that grabtastic f*ckstorm of poor judgement all I need to know about hurricane season is GTFO. That I'm not on the 2,000 dead is more a testament to then-youthful endurance than any particularly intelligent decisions made (though my buddy and I did break into our own place of employment and grill steaks before they went bad, bc the gas was still on).

 There was also a bar (one of several) that stayed open. Warm beer, who cares? Eventually the Guard came around and iced us down. It was like meeting Jesus.

 Anyway folks, f*ck your hurricane parties or laziness. When Mother Nature wants to chew some ass, you'd best clear out of the way.
 
2018-05-17 03:43:38 PM  
Jimmy Buffett - Tryin to Reason with Hurricane Season
Youtube 7nqH4-amR88
 
2018-05-17 03:47:50 PM  

arkansized: 1. If you live in Florida for a little while, you will experience a hurricane.

2. If you live in Florida a long time, you will experience hurricane damage.

3. Those who have lived in Florida all their lives will eventually lose property to a hurricane.


My family has lived in Florida since the end of WWII.

The only property Mom ever lost was a Valencia orange tree, past it's prime. When she had the stump taken out there was a large albino snake nested in the root space.

My grandmother was in Homestead for Andrew and lost everything. As the storm was rolling in she walked over to the corner mail box to mail a birthday card. Andrew ate the mailbox and I never did get that $20. Odds are if you've seen footage of Andrew's path you've seen her place - the overhead photo is still shown with the headline "ground zero" or some such.

Sigh. Really not looking forward to another season and hoping we get lucky this year. There are years like that. Most of them, actually.
 
2018-05-17 03:54:04 PM  

dickfreckle: When a man comes on the radio and tells you that if you absolutely must stay in your town, be prepared with an axe (getting through roof),. a firearm or instrument of protection, and any flotation device you can think of, it's time to go. And I don't mean some jackwagon from CNN sexing up a storm. This is what our local guy said, staring somberly into the camera and speaking in a measured tone designed to inform, not cause panic. He even said something along the lines of "godspeed, everyone."

 So subby, after that grabtastic f*ckstorm of poor judgement all I need to know about hurricane season is GTFO. That I'm not on the 2,000 dead is more a testament to then-youthful endurance than any particularly intelligent decisions made (though my buddy and I did break into our own place of employment and grill steaks before they went bad, bc the gas was still on).

 There was also a bar (one of several) that stayed open. Warm beer, who cares? Eventually the Guard came around and iced us down. It was like meeting Jesus.

 Anyway folks, f*ck your hurricane parties or laziness. When Mother Nature wants to chew some ass, you'd best clear out of the way.


 Sounds like LA? Maybe New Orleans?

We live so far South any real evacuation plan would be "get in a boat and head out to sea".

Spot on about Hurricane parties. Fantastically dumb idea.
 
2018-05-17 03:55:37 PM  
I figure you at least get a few days warning to GTFO for most hurricanes. Earthquakes, firestorms and tornadoes not so much.
 
2018-05-17 04:22:40 PM  
54 year old Florida Native here. Been there done that with many hurricanes, While I do respect the intense power and destructive nature of these storms, I don't wet my skivvies each time a storm develops.
 
2018-05-17 04:23:21 PM  
Sheesh, Dave Barry told us what *real* Floridians do 25 years ago or so: they mow their lawn, fill  the tub with water, and buy bleach.
 
2018-05-17 04:37:25 PM  

parasol: dickfreckle: When a man comes on the radio and tells you that if you absolutely must stay in your town, be prepared with an axe (getting through roof),. a firearm or instrument of protection, and any flotation device you can think of, it's time to go. And I don't mean some jackwagon from CNN sexing up a storm. This is what our local guy said, staring somberly into the camera and speaking in a measured tone designed to inform, not cause panic. He even said something along the lines of "godspeed, everyone."

 So subby, after that grabtastic f*ckstorm of poor judgement all I need to know about hurricane season is GTFO. That I'm not on the 2,000 dead is more a testament to then-youthful endurance than any particularly intelligent decisions made (though my buddy and I did break into our own place of employment and grill steaks before they went bad, bc the gas was still on).

 There was also a bar (one of several) that stayed open. Warm beer, who cares? Eventually the Guard came around and iced us down. It was like meeting Jesus.

 Anyway folks, f*ck your hurricane parties or laziness. When Mother Nature wants to chew some ass, you'd best clear out of the way.

 Sounds like LA? Maybe New Orleans?

We live so far South any real evacuation plan would be "get in a boat and head out to sea".

Spot on about Hurricane parties. Fantastically dumb idea.


 Yup, Katrina. Most of the dead were people who couldn't leave. And then there were guys like me who just wouldn't leave (again). If there is an upside to the story, we formed a ragtag band of helpful idiots (first aid, looting water, etc). Most of the dead just woke up to find themselves near the ceiling with no way out.

 I will never, ever have an experience as surreal as Katrina again. I just don't think it's possible.
 
2018-05-17 04:58:14 PM  

dickfreckle: I will never, ever have an experience as surreal as Katrina again. I just don't think it's possible.


been through 6 hurricains in my life.
Glad I missed that one.
 
2018-05-17 05:06:09 PM  

parasol: arkansized: 1. If you live in Florida for a little while, you will experience a hurricane.

2. If you live in Florida a long time, you will experience hurricane damage.

3. Those who have lived in Florida all their lives will eventually lose property to a hurricane.

My family has lived in Florida since the end of WWII.

The only property Mom ever lost was a Valencia orange tree, past it's prime. When she had the stump taken out there was a large albino snake nested in the root space.

My grandmother was in Homestead for Andrew and lost everything. As the storm was rolling in she walked over to the corner mail box to mail a birthday card. Andrew ate the mailbox and I never did get that $20. Odds are if you've seen footage of Andrew's path you've seen her place - the overhead photo is still shown with the headline "ground zero" or some such.

Sigh. Really not looking forward to another season and hoping we get lucky this year. There are years like that. Most of them, actually.


Soon.
 
2018-05-17 05:11:07 PM  

vudukungfu: dickfreckle: I will never, ever have an experience as surreal as Katrina again. I just don't think it's possible.

been through 6 hurricains in my life.
Glad I missed that one.


Hiya, vudu.
South Florida hurricane season is almost here. Time to stock up on gasoline, bottled water, propane and 5/8" plywood.

It's not the hurricanes, it's the embedded tornadoes. Not a thing can be done, amirite??

Also, the Mister was at Katrina, Sandy, Irene, and Harvey with DMAT. They worked him to exhaustion.
 
2018-05-17 05:14:13 PM  

dickfreckle: parasol: dickfreckle: When a man comes on the radio and tells you that if you absolutely must stay in your town, be prepared with an axe (getting through roof),. a firearm or instrument of protection, and any flotation device you can think of, it's time to go. And I don't mean some jackwagon from CNN sexing up a storm. This is what our local guy said, staring somberly into the camera and speaking in a measured tone designed to inform, not cause panic. He even said something along the lines of "godspeed, everyone."

 So subby, after that grabtastic f*ckstorm of poor judgement all I need to know about hurricane season is GTFO. That I'm not on the 2,000 dead is more a testament to then-youthful endurance than any particularly intelligent decisions made (though my buddy and I did break into our own place of employment and grill steaks before they went bad, bc the gas was still on).

 There was also a bar (one of several) that stayed open. Warm beer, who cares? Eventually the Guard came around and iced us down. It was like meeting Jesus.

 Anyway folks, f*ck your hurricane parties or laziness. When Mother Nature wants to chew some ass, you'd best clear out of the way.

 Sounds like LA? Maybe New Orleans?

We live so far South any real evacuation plan would be "get in a boat and head out to sea".

Spot on about Hurricane parties. Fantastically dumb idea.

 Yup, Katrina. Most of the dead were people who couldn't leave. And then there were guys like me who just wouldn't leave (again). If there is an upside to the story, we formed a ragtag band of helpful idiots (first aid, looting water, etc). Most of the dead just woke up to find themselves near the ceiling with no way out.

 I will never, ever have an experience as surreal as Katrina again. I just don't think it's possible.


wow - your post just brought back us here, watching the coverage and my sadness at what was coming. I remember saying to my son "I really should have taken you to New Orleans" - and that was before it hit, way before the aftermath and sorrow.

I am glad you made it. I've had some strange storm things happen - driving up I95 in a blackout was like travelling in space - but living with the recovery of the dead? No words.

Although? iirc, that was also about the time NO got right back to the business of living :)
 
2018-05-17 05:17:58 PM  
'get the hell out of Florida' not on the list

That's because that applies to all times of the year, not just Hurricane Season.
 
2018-05-17 05:52:40 PM  

MrBallou: Store outdoor objects such as patio furniture, trash cans or grills before they become deadly missiles during high winds.

Don't let this happen to you:
[img.fark.net image 330x292]


Du-mass
 
2018-05-17 06:01:12 PM  
Irma made landfall just a few miles south of me. Well, where I lived, my happy ass was up in Tennessee.

And I'll do it again this year if I have to
 
2018-05-17 10:02:20 PM  

Sean M: A hurricane f'ing blows.

Seriously, hurricanes generally aren't any big deal.  You get plenty of warning, you know what's coming.  Plan for it.  Unless you're right in the middle of where the eye of a Cat4+ hits, it's no big deal.  No power for a few days; grocery stores here have backup generators.


This.  Even the worst of storms, unless you are in a coastal flood zone, only do real damage in about a 20 mile diameter.  If you live in a coastal flood zone, you have plenty of time to get away for a while and 90% of the time the storm will miss your area anyway.

Wait, what am I saying.  To all you New Yorkers coming down here, hurricanes are thousand mile wide death machines.  Don't come here anymore.
 
2018-05-18 12:00:51 AM  
arkansized:
[img.fark.net image 425x239]
No big deal at all.

Irma. 9-11-17. 151 mph sustained for 10 hours. 2 F2 tornados.


Where did Irma have 151 mph sustained winds in Florida?  Nowhere.   Most of Florida only experienced tropical storm force winds.  For example:
Key West: 60 mph sustained
Miami: 52 mph sustained
Naples: 61 mph sustained
Fort Myers: 62 mph sustained
Tampa: 46 mph sustained
Orlando: 59 mph sustained
(Max sustained winds & gusts appear on Page 33: https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/data/tcr​/AL11​2017_Irma.pdf )

The only remarkable attributes of this storm for the USA were the extremely large size of the storm, which meant 10+ hours of strong winds & rains, which led to many trees toppling. A typical tropical storm with equivalent winds wouldn't have done anything.   It also didn't help that some parts of Florida received 15"+ of rain a week or so prior, so the ground was already saturated.
 
2018-05-18 12:48:27 AM  

Sean M: arkansized:
[img.fark.net image 425x239]
No big deal at all.

Irma. 9-11-17. 151 mph sustained for 10 hours. 2 F2 tornados.

Where did Irma have 151 mph sustained winds in Florida?  Nowhere.   Most of Florida only experienced tropical storm force winds.  For example:
Key West: 60 mph sustained
Miami: 52 mph sustained
Naples: 61 mph sustained
Fort Myers: 62 mph sustained
Tampa: 46 mph sustained
Orlando: 59 mph sustained
(Max sustained winds & gusts appear on Page 33: https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/data/tcr/​AL112017_Irma.pdf )

The only remarkable attributes of this storm for the USA were the extremely large size of the storm, which meant 10+ hours of strong winds & rains, which led to many trees toppling. A typical tropical storm with equivalent winds wouldn't have done anything.   It also didn't help that some parts of Florida received 15"+ of rain a week or so prior, so the ground was already saturated.


Sebring airport...149 -151 mph sustained. This from the airport manager.

There were seven homes in Venus that lost roof and barn to two tornados.
I personally lost my roof, hangar and barn that had been built to the 150 mph Dade County standards.

DIgital Anemometer at my tractor shed read 151 at 2205 on 10 SEP when the roof of the house peeled off. I was in the house at 1530 when the barn/hangar roof lifted off, made a 180 and landed in the pasture, so I cannot tell you the windspeed, as I did not have wireless, the power was out.
 
2018-05-18 12:56:10 AM  

Sean M: A hurricane f'ing blows.

Seriously, hurricanes generally aren't any big deal.  You get plenty of warning, you know what's coming.  Plan for it.  Unless you're right in the middle of where the eye of a Cat4+ hits, it's no big deal.  No power for a few days; grocery stores here have backup generators.


Storm surge laughs at your 'no big deal'
 
2018-05-18 01:21:22 AM  

dickfreckle: parasol: dickfreckle: When a man comes on the radio and tells you that if you absolutely must stay in your town, be prepared with an axe (getting through roof),. a firearm or instrument of protection, and any flotation device you can think of, it's time to go. And I don't mean some jackwagon from CNN sexing up a storm. This is what our local guy said, staring somberly into the camera and speaking in a measured tone designed to inform, not cause panic. He even said something along the lines of "godspeed, everyone."

 So subby, after that grabtastic f*ckstorm of poor judgement all I need to know about hurricane season is GTFO. That I'm not on the 2,000 dead is more a testament to then-youthful endurance than any particularly intelligent decisions made (though my buddy and I did break into our own place of employment and grill steaks before they went bad, bc the gas was still on).

 There was also a bar (one of several) that stayed open. Warm beer, who cares? Eventually the Guard came around and iced us down. It was like meeting Jesus.

 Anyway folks, f*ck your hurricane parties or laziness. When Mother Nature wants to chew some ass, you'd best clear out of the way.

 Sounds like LA? Maybe New Orleans?

We live so far South any real evacuation plan would be "get in a boat and head out to sea".

Spot on about Hurricane parties. Fantastically dumb idea.

 Yup, Katrina. Most of the dead were people who couldn't leave. And then there were guys like me who just wouldn't leave (again). If there is an upside to the story, we formed a ragtag band of helpful idiots (first aid, looting water, etc). Most of the dead just woke up to find themselves near the ceiling with no way out.

 I will never, ever have an experience as surreal as Katrina again. I just don't think it's possible.


I have two runner-ups...Moore OK & Joplin MO...and that lasted only a few minutes.  Katrina took her damn sweet time shoving seawater up our collective arses.
 
2018-05-18 01:25:02 AM  

CivicMindedFive: Sean M: A hurricane f'ing blows.

Seriously, hurricanes generally aren't any big deal.  You get plenty of warning, you know what's coming.  Plan for it.  Unless you're right in the middle of where the eye of a Cat4+ hits, it's no big deal.  No power for a few days; grocery stores here have backup generators.

This.  Even the worst of storms, unless you are in a coastal flood zone, only do real damage in about a 20 mile diameter.  If you live in a coastal flood zone, you have plenty of time to get away for a while and 90% of the time the storm will miss your area anyway.

Wait, what am I saying.  To all you New Yorkers coming down here, hurricanes are thousand mile wide death machines.  Don't come here anymore.


...too late.

/since the 70's.
 
2018-05-18 01:29:54 AM  

Evil Mackerel: [img.fark.net image 850x765]
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[img.fark.net image 850x653]
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[img.fark.net image 850x850]


I've got that covered.  I hope I never have to eat those damn MREs.  But I'm not in hurricane country.  I'm in earthquake country.  So I don't have the luxury of a warning well ahead of time.  My first sign of trouble will probably be me being thrown out of bed at some ungodly hour and bouncing around on the floor.
 
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