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(KIRO-7 Seattle)   Man critical after hatchet attack. Well, I would be too, if my attacker didn't bother with martial feats and could only use a 1D4 improvised light weapon   ( kiro7.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Reporter Michael Spears, Seattle, Harborview Medical Center, Attack, blue sedan, English-language films, Wednesday night, critical condition  
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2758 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2018 at 2:35 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-05-17 11:51:43 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2018-05-17 12:05:37 PM  
"You call that a hatchet attack? What kind of technique is that? Where'd you learn how to swing a hatchet? Geez, my 90 year old grandmother could do better than that. That is truly pathetic. Sad."

/DRTFA
 
2018-05-17 02:36:32 PM  
Was he Flirtin' With Disaster?
 
2018-05-17 02:36:43 PM  
Hatchet wound.
Bloody Hatchet wound.
*shudders*
 
2018-05-17 02:37:22 PM  

gopher321: [img.fark.net image 268x306]


So...we should probably watch out in case the attacker starts casting spells? I mean, if it's Holy Bolt we'll be fine at least.
 
2018-05-17 02:39:11 PM  
Only use a hatchet if it was dropped by a legendary enemy.

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
OOF
2018-05-17 02:40:19 PM  
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2018-05-17 02:40:20 PM  
faygoluvers.netView Full Size

Wanted for questioning
 
2018-05-17 02:43:24 PM  
If you don't know, you best axe somebody.
 
2018-05-17 02:43:27 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Wanted for questioning.
 
2018-05-17 02:43:57 PM  
Hatchetman- choppin' out these dudes out here alone.
 
2018-05-17 02:46:41 PM  

OOF: [img.fark.net image 300x200]


Seriously, if you're gonna post it, you *HAVE* to post the WHOLE thing.
Frecking Carson and Ed Ames reactions always, *always* leave me in tears.

Ed Ames Teaches Johnny Carson to Throw a Tomahawk
Youtube 0L5QC9ZJkM8
 
2018-05-17 02:58:06 PM  
This is easily the nerdiest headline I've seen in the last 20 minutes.
 
2018-05-17 02:59:54 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 03:05:44 PM  
Just one axe wielding opponent?
Kung fu hustle
Youtube nnDTU362bmY
 
2018-05-17 03:19:58 PM  

slackananda: "You call that a hatchet attack? What kind of technique is that? Where'd you learn how to swing a hatchet? Geez, my 90 year old grandmother could do better than that. That is truly pathetic. Sad."

/DRTFA


upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 03:25:30 PM  

gopher321: [img.fark.net image 268x306]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 03:26:34 PM  

Schlubbe: Was he Flirtin' With Disaster?


Ba ba ba yeah!
 
2018-05-17 03:30:54 PM  
One of the men was reportedly armed with a hatchet and a baseball bat. That man struck the victim and then both suspects fled in the sedan.

That puny 1d4 base weapon damage was just a means of delivering the sweet 3d6 Sneak Attack damage, subby.

The real mystery is why the assailant was dual wielding that particular combination. It's time to sniff out some leads at the local tavern.
 
2018-05-17 03:35:45 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 03:43:45 PM  
I just wanted to ax him a question.
 
2018-05-17 04:15:16 PM  
Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now!
 
2018-05-17 04:43:25 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-17 05:41:51 PM  
Subby is a neeeerd!
 
2018-05-17 06:12:16 PM  
So... the article was lean on details, such as motive. Was this a terrorist attack, or was it cultural appropriation?
 
2018-05-17 07:12:20 PM  
smash, Smash, SMASH! (now on iTunes)
Youtube wDQTvuP1Dgs
 
2018-05-17 08:27:48 PM  

Parthenogenetic: One of the men was reportedly armed with a hatchet and a baseball bat. That man struck the victim and then both suspects fled in the sedan.

That puny 1d4 base weapon damage was just a means of delivering the sweet 3d6 Sneak Attack damage, subby.

The real mystery is why the assailant was dual wielding that particular combination. It's time to sniff out some leads at the local tavern.


Bludgeoning for skeletons, hatchet for zombies. They're found together pretty often.
 
2018-05-17 09:35:34 PM  
Shia LaBeouf?
 
2018-05-18 08:46:41 AM  
Thank you for the laugh this early in the morning.
 
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