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(Deadspin)   Horton, here's a poo   ( theconcourse.deadspin.com) divider line
    More: Repeat, Tim Hortons, Tim Hortons employees, British Columbia, sped-up LiveLeak video, Abbotsford, British Columbia, Langley, British Columbia, Mission, British Columbia, deliberate crapping  
•       •       •

6107 clicks;  Favorite

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2018-05-16 09:21:16 PM  
23 votes:
I've done a little forensic work in my day so I put my skills to work and I believe I've identified our perp.
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2018-05-16 09:05:09 PM  
23 votes:
Probably the only thing made fresh in-store that day.

/Shamelessly stolen from /r/vancouver
2018-05-16 04:35:21 PM  
22 votes:
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out yourself, Subby!
2018-05-16 09:03:30 PM  
14 votes:
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2018-05-16 09:15:10 PM  
8 votes:

Dumski: Aww, shiat. Another thread got greenlit for this story.
Well done subby! Funnier headline.


This makes number 2.
2018-05-16 09:07:23 PM  
7 votes:
Oh, yeah!
You gotta get schwifty.
You gotta get schwifty in here.
It's time to get schwifty.
Oh-oh.
You gotta get schwifty.
Oh, yeah!
Take off your pants and your panties.
shiat on the floor.
Time to get Schwifty in here
Gotta shiat on the floor
2018-05-16 09:09:50 PM  
5 votes:

lostcat: Ok, so I'm guessing they wouldn't let her use the toilet without buying something first. I mean, eventually this is going to happen when you have a policy like that. But I get it... You can't let just anybody wreck your bathroom.


That's why Tim Horton's should have a ball pit like McDonalds.

/Don't look at me like that
//I know you shat in the ball pit
2018-05-16 09:03:30 PM  
5 votes:
What's her Fark handle?
2018-05-16 09:17:12 PM  
4 votes:
I wonder if she can always shiat on demand, or only when the situation demands it.
2018-05-16 09:11:07 PM  
4 votes:

Boo_Guy: You should never shiat furiously you could pop something.

/like a blood vessel or your o-ring


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2018-05-16 09:04:59 PM  
4 votes:
Looks like she had poutine last night.
2018-05-16 09:04:17 PM  
4 votes:
Way better than my headline, subby. Kudos!

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2018-05-16 10:02:34 PM  
3 votes:
Furious shiat story, bro:

I was driving a buddy home from a gaming session when he gasped and said, "Exit here!  Now!"  So I pulled a hard right and got off the freeway (CA-134 in Glendale), and he said "Grocery store, there!"  And so we went.

"What the hell, B?"

"That hot sauce is working."  He had sat at the table and over the course of five or six hours, consumed like 10 Del Taco Inferno hot sauces, by sucking on the packets.

He didn't wait for the car to stop, he launched out the door and into the store.  I caught up with him later and he related the following interaction:

A clerk is mopping the floor.  "We're closed," he said.

"I have to use the bathroom."  He's sweating now.

"We're closed."

"You don't understand, if I don't get to a bathroon RIGHT NOW, I'm going to shiat on the floor RIGHT HERE."

"Thru the back, up the stairs, straight ahead."

"Thank you," doppler shifted to subsonic.

This clerk made the right choice.  B is 6'6", like 375lb, and built like Shrek.
2018-05-16 09:21:11 PM  
3 votes:
"Full of rage and previously turds..."

Lol
2018-05-16 04:34:53 PM  
3 votes:
Damn man, Canadians are intense.
2018-05-16 10:27:41 PM  
2 votes:
Despite all my rage I am still throwing poo at this minimum wage cashier? ... It just doesn't flow...
2018-05-16 09:56:06 PM  
2 votes:
Not this shiat again..
2018-05-16 09:37:16 PM  
2 votes:
They had me at shiatting Furiously! Who does Number 2 work for?
2018-05-16 09:33:09 PM  
2 votes:

stuhayes2010: I could never poop on command like that, impressive.


Yeah, If I were able to drop a deuce that on demand, it would be because I wasn't feeling well, and it wouldn't be that well formed...
2018-05-16 09:30:29 PM  
2 votes:
Who poos like that?  Even my dog doesn't poo that fast.
2018-05-16 09:25:36 PM  
2 votes:

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: I wonder if she can always shiat on demand, or only when the situation demands it.


i can. usually not on the floor. well...sometimes. depends on my mood.
2018-05-16 09:09:17 PM  
2 votes:
You should never shiat furiously you could pop something.

/like a blood vessel or your o-ring
2018-05-16 10:01:50 PM  
1 vote:

Boo_Guy: You should never shiat furiously you could pop something.

/like a blood vessel or your o-ring


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2018-05-16 09:59:34 PM  
1 vote:

BlueBox: HMS_Blinkin: Mikey1969: HMS_Blinkin: lostcat: Ok, so I'm guessing they wouldn't let her use the toilet without buying something first. I mean, eventually this is going to happen when you have a policy like that. But I get it... You can't let just anybody wreck your bathroom.

If you're that desperate, you don't ask permission. You run right into the bathroom and get in a stall. If they get mad, what can they do? They can't put the poo back once it's out.

That's cool , except when it's the kind of place where you have to get the key from someone at the counter...

Is that true at a place like Tim Hortons? Serious question; I've never experienced that at a fast food place. They always have open bathrooms in my experience. Only gas stations make you get a key.  Maybe it's different in Canada, I don't know.

Same here.  I normally go to the bathroom to wash my hands before ordering.  I don't want keys that have been poo handled all day.  It's like that Starbuck's thread about them asking to use the restroom.  Everyone I've been in you just go inside and walk there without any interaction with the staff.  You come back and place your order.  It's not difficult around here.


Everyone?
2018-05-16 09:51:24 PM  
1 vote:

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: I wonder if she can always shiat on demand, or only when the situation demands it.


Asking for a friend?
2018-05-16 09:20:52 PM  
1 vote:

lostcat: Ok, so I'm guessing they wouldn't let her use the toilet without buying something first. I mean, eventually this is going to happen when you have a policy like that. But I get it... You can't let just anybody wreck your bathroom.


If you're that desperate, you don't ask permission. You run right into the bathroom and get in a stall. If they get mad, what can they do? They can't put the poo back once it's out.
2018-05-16 09:16:39 PM  
1 vote:

lostcat: Ok, so I'm guessing they wouldn't let her use the toilet without buying something first. I mean, eventually this is going to happen when you have a policy like that. But I get it... You can't let just anybody wreck your bathroom.


Yea but she was crackhead skinny, I mean how big could her shiats be.

*watches video again*

Huh. Impressive.
2018-05-16 09:09:16 PM  
1 vote:

Keyser_Soze_Death: What's her Fark handle?


Scheisse_mit_Reisse
2018-05-16 09:03:41 PM  
1 vote:
Horton hatches a turd
2018-05-16 09:03:29 PM  
1 vote:
Boo, subby! You stole the headline from a comment in the Deadspin article. Hang your head in shame! Boo, I say!
 
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