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(Action News Jacksonville)   Teen tries to steal the unlocked, keys-in-ignition truck of Blake Bortles, somehow fails   ( actionnewsjax.com) divider line
    More: Florida, English-language films, HopsonRoad, Automobile, Bortles, American films, BrandonLinder, Joesph Horton, Truck  
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7433 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2018 at 6:05 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2018-05-10 06:03:49 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 06:11:06 PM  
What about Jack Jaymes?
 
2018-05-10 06:12:09 PM  
Once again, QB leaves himself fully vulnerable, and has to be protected by his team.  Sure lucky he parked in the pocket.
 
2018-05-10 06:13:14 PM  
He's lucky he didn't get beaten to death
 
2018-05-10 06:18:35 PM  
FTFA:Bortles' truck was unlocked with the keys and wallet inside.

memegenerator.netView Full Size


.RIP Gunny
 
2018-05-10 06:21:39 PM  
after police broke up a large party where minors were drinking alcohol and consuming drugs.


HOOLIGANS--THE LOT OF YE
 
2018-05-10 06:22:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 06:25:53 PM  
So the truck was intercepted by the police was it?
 
2018-05-10 06:28:18 PM  

Fano: What about Jack Jaymes?


Or.... Jake Jortles?
 
2018-05-10 06:29:40 PM  
just like Rory Calhoon
 
2018-05-10 06:31:21 PM  
I wanted this story to be more interesting but, I realize that if Bortles had tried to stop the theft by throwing something at the teen, the teen would have gotten away with his truck.
 
2018-05-10 06:32:45 PM  
Horton Hears a Halt.
 
2018-05-10 06:45:40 PM  
As if we're all supposed to know a foosball quarterback by name? Give me a break, subby.
 
2018-05-10 06:55:21 PM  
was impeded by the other cars in the driveway

His linemen block for him even while parking.
 
2018-05-10 07:03:53 PM  
I expected this to be another criminal who couldn't drive a manual. But it takes that special level of Florida to try and steal a truck/car that's boxed in already.
 
2018-05-10 07:11:29 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: He's lucky he didn't get beaten to death


Well, if it had been a real quarterback. . .
 
2018-05-10 07:11:33 PM  
18 years old. You crossed the threshold, son. For one stupid action, you're now stuck with a criminal record for life.
 
2018-05-10 07:14:05 PM  
Two words: dill hole.
 
2018-05-10 07:16:32 PM  
i wonder how much overlap there is between the people who leave their keys and wallet in an unlocked car and those who say they need a gun to keep people from stealing their shiat
 
2018-05-10 07:18:22 PM  

special20: Two words: dill hole.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 07:24:17 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 07:24:32 PM  
Who?
 
2018-05-10 07:33:56 PM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 400x225]


Done in forkin' one.
 
2018-05-10 07:49:21 PM  

TechCom: I expected this to be another criminal who couldn't drive a manual. But it takes that special level of Florida to try and steal a truck/car that's boxed in already.


sickchirpse.comView Full Size
 
kab
2018-05-10 08:06:06 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: He's lucky he didn't get beaten to death


Im kind of bummed that he didnt
 
kab
2018-05-10 08:06:50 PM  

nytmare: 18 years old. You crossed the threshold, son. For one stupid action, you're now stuck with a criminal record for life.


good
 
2018-05-10 08:10:24 PM  

TechCom: I expected this to be another criminal who couldn't drive a manual. But it takes that special level of Florida to try and steal a truck/car that's boxed in already.


Heh, same. Fully expected to be about:

i.pinimg.comView Full Size

but then I got the the F150 part (which as far as I can tell doesn't come in manual, not the latest models at least) and got curious how the story would end.
 
2018-05-10 08:21:26 PM  
I was raised in Jacksonville and schooled at UCF.  Bortles is the closest thing to a local sports hero I'm ever going to have, probably.  I remember fantasizing that I was Mark Brunell (we're both lefties) in my back yard, but, clearly Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.  If Joe Flacco and Ben Roethlisburger can win super bowls, Bortles can too.
 
2018-05-10 08:24:04 PM  
done in one.
 
2018-05-10 08:27:34 PM  
Sorta not-so-csb:

My brother played 4 years as a DT in the NFL and used to throw some wicked ragers at his house.  One of the guests was an acquaintance of his that was sloppy wrecked drunk and started a confrontation with him.

My brother was a kind-hearted gigantic teddy bear with a level head.  He tried to diffuse the situation, and sent this guy on his way to dry out for a minute.  Well, being as shiathouse drunk as this guy was, he decided the best course of action was to come back and start a fistfight to set things straight, once and for all.  It only went downhill from there--one solid hit to the face knocked his eyeball out of his head, dangling by the retina

Case in point: don't pick fights with professional athletes, no matter how much of a badass captain Morgan says you are.

Still would make anyone shudder
 
2018-05-10 08:29:44 PM  

GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.


A bar low enough to stub your toe on.
 
151 [TotalFark]
2018-05-10 08:44:48 PM  
This thread had 31 comments when I decided the over-under on "sportsball" comments would be 5. It is zero, with an honorable mention to foosball.

I am disappoint, Fark.
 
2018-05-10 08:56:02 PM  
Half expected to read truck had manual transmission. Bortles lucky, he could have been liable for 100% damages for leaving keys in it. Many insurances wont cover that ether.
 
2018-05-10 09:17:05 PM  
The street where the kid and the party host both live looks to be about a block long. What if he could have gotten it out of the driveway? Then what, drive it home?
 
2018-05-10 09:18:40 PM  
i0.wp.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 09:33:50 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Fano: What about Jack Jaymes?

Or.... Jake Jortles?


How do you get a Bartles and James reference from that?
 
2018-05-10 09:47:52 PM  

fusillade762: [img.fark.net image 400x225]


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 09:53:00 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-10 09:54:13 PM  

zamboni: FTFA:Bortles' truck was unlocked with the keys and wallet inside.

[memegenerator.net image 400x300]

.RIP Gunny


Seriously. I mean, I hate blaming victims,, but Jesus, take a LITTLE responsibility.
 
2018-05-10 10:22:05 PM  

AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.

A bar low enough to stub your toe on.


Eh, it's a short time, just 23 years.  I'd put Brunell out ahead of any QB the Dolphins have had since Marino or any QB the Bills have had since Kelly.  And Bortles is better than Brunell.
 
2018-05-10 10:27:53 PM  

GentDirkly: AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.

A bar low enough to stub your toe on.

Eh, it's a short time, just 23 years.  I'd put Brunell out ahead of any QB the Dolphins have had since Marino or any QB the Bills have had since Kelly.  And Bortles is better than Brunell.


To be fair, Tannehill might have been a great QB if he hadn't been repeatedly kill by his O-line's incompetent protection several times over the years.

The guy has to be playing with about 13,000 concussions by now.
 
2018-05-10 10:51:00 PM  

GentDirkly: AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.

A bar low enough to stub your toe on.

Eh, it's a short time, just 23 years.  I'd put Brunell out ahead of any QB the Dolphins have had since Marino or any QB the Bills have had since Kelly.  And Bortles is better than Brunell.


You don't think too much of Tannehill, I guess...
 
2018-05-10 10:51:35 PM  

skozlaw: GentDirkly: AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.

A bar low enough to stub your toe on.

Eh, it's a short time, just 23 years.  I'd put Brunell out ahead of any QB the Dolphins have had since Marino or any QB the Bills have had since Kelly.  And Bortles is better than Brunell.

To be fair, Tannehill might have been a great QB if he hadn't been repeatedly kill by his O-line's incompetent protection several times over the years.

The guy has to be playing with about 13,000 concussions by now.


The David Carr career arc...
 
2018-05-10 10:52:29 PM  

kab: drjekel_mrhyde: He's lucky he didn't get beaten to death

Im kind of bummed that he didnt


He's lucky he didn't get bummed to death
 
2018-05-10 11:02:55 PM  
Ok. Just a guess, having only read the headline. It's all about how the dag-nab younger generations can't drive a manual transmission. Amiright?
 
2018-05-10 11:13:53 PM  

WilderKWight: As if we're all supposed to know a foosball quarterback by name? Give me a break, subby.


Well, now we know who isn't watching The Good Place. Absolutely the funniest show on TV.
 
2018-05-11 09:44:55 AM  

gregscott: Ok. Just a guess, having only read the headline. It's all about how the dag-nab younger generations can't drive a manual transmission. Amiright?


Not this time.   This one is even more farked up than that.
 
2018-05-11 09:54:24 AM  

Gerald Tarrant: So the truck was intercepted by the police was it?


cdn-ds.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-11 09:28:02 PM  

AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: AquaTatanka: GentDirkly: Bortles is the best QB the Jags have ever had.

A bar low enough to stub your toe on.

Eh, it's a short time, just 23 years.  I'd put Brunell out ahead of any QB the Dolphins have had since Marino or any QB the Bills have had since Kelly.  And Bortles is better than Brunell.

You don't think too much of Tannehill, I guess...


Brunell got the Jags to two AFC championship games and had two or three pro bowl appearances.  So, no.
 
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