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(AZ Family)   There are better ways to pass a drug test than heating up a cup of urine in the microwave at a 7-11   (azfamily.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Sanchez, Identity theft, Employment, Crime, Urine, Urinalysis, police report, Angelique Sanchez  
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2533 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2018 at 6:49 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2018-05-06 4:40:11 AM  
I didn't know urine would asplode in a microwave.

I hope this information comes in handy sometime in the future.
 
2018-05-06 6:51:02 AM  
Explain how.
 
2018-05-06 6:51:32 AM  

HedlessChickn: I didn't know urine would asplode in a microwave.


Everything explodes without enough energy.
 
2018-05-06 6:52:03 AM  

doglover: HedlessChickn: I didn't know urine would asplode in a microwave.

Everything explodes without enough energy.


er, with enough energy.

Stupid autocorrect
 
2018-05-06 7:07:26 AM  
I once knew a woman who destroyed a hotel microwave.  It was a no-smoking room and she smoked in there anyway and didn't want to pay the $350 which was what they required as a cleaning bill.
She told the owners that she wanted to warm up a couple of chocolate chip cookies and (mistakenly) set it for twenty minutes instead of two
She got away with it too.
Dumbass.
 
2018-05-06 7:09:46 AM  
I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?
 
2018-05-06 7:13:10 AM  

HedlessChickn: I didn't know urine would asplode in a microwave.

I hope this information comes in handy sometime in the future.


Remember to use this information for good, not lulz.

Or maybe not, is up to you!
 
2018-05-06 7:14:43 AM  

ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?


I doubt it. Her Piss is so full of drugs it's like yellow nitroglycerin. Never put nitroglycerin in a microwave.
 
2018-05-06 7:22:26 AM  
How much meth was in her system that her piss became explosive?
 
2018-05-06 7:25:18 AM  
not for my fellow farkers there isnt
 
2018-05-06 7:26:22 AM  
Did the cops tell her "urine big trouble"?
 
2018-05-06 7:28:42 AM  

668NeighborOfTheBeast: ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?

I doubt it. Her Piss is so full of drugs it's like yellow nitroglycerin. Never put nitroglycerin in a microwave.


It was clean urine for a drug test..
 
2018-05-06 7:34:44 AM  
I guess burnt popcorn isn't the worst smell to come from a microwave anymore.
 
2018-05-06 7:35:17 AM  
"The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?
 
2018-05-06 7:40:37 AM  
well, now i know what i'm doing tomorrow. i'm going to put the cup of urine in the 7-11 microwave, set it for max and split.
 
2018-05-06 7:41:31 AM  
This is why we can't have nice things.

/convenient store microwaves
//not even once
 
2018-05-06 7:44:07 AM  
She must have been so stoned. Hot urine is the providence of Starbucks.
 
2018-05-06 8:03:01 AM  
 
2018-05-06 8:05:37 AM  
i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2018-05-06 8:07:24 AM  
...There's also the possibility that if she was smart enough to want to warm up the urine, she was smart enough to put it in a container that wasn't exactly microwave safe.
 
2018-05-06 8:16:11 AM  

bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?


Commercial grade, you can't just go buy a $80 microwave at walmart and use it the way a 7-11 uses it.
 
2018-05-06 8:20:02 AM  

Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?

Commercial grade, you can't just go buy a $80 microwave at walmart and use it the way a 7-11 uses it.


Well, you could.  But you'd be doing it fairly often.
 
2018-05-06 8:21:08 AM  

bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?


Hey guys get a load of the guy who has never had to buy commercial grade equipment.

If you're making a piece of equipment available for the public, it had damn well better be good equipment or it WILL fail and probably light something on fire doing it. Better to spend the money for commercial grade stuff.
 
2018-05-06 8:21:45 AM  

PainInTheASP: Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?

Commercial grade, you can't just go buy a $80 microwave at walmart and use it the way a 7-11 uses it.

Well, you could.  But you'd be doing it fairly often.


Also you'd probably be putting out a lot of fires. Microwaves have a tendency to catch fire when failing.
 
2018-05-06 8:30:11 AM  

LavenderWolf: PainInTheASP: Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?

Commercial grade, you can't just go buy a $80 microwave at walmart and use it the way a 7-11 uses it.

Well, you could.  But you'd be doing it fairly often.

Also you'd probably be putting out a lot of fires. Microwaves have a tendency to catch fire when failing.


Yeah.  It'd definitely be a pain for the employees.  Imagine if they weren't even supposed to be there that day.
 
2018-05-06 8:31:39 AM  
Says you
 
2018-05-06 8:34:35 AM  

ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?


Depending on who was managing the store, the asploding urine may have improved the way the store smelled.
 
2018-05-06 8:43:57 AM  
True story: a gazzillion years ago, I got busted for taking a bong rip in the middle of the forest. Utter bullshiat, but certainly not the worst thing I had done (young and stupid). Had to go to divesersion class. I passed my drug tests by conscripting pee off a coworker; they watched the guys pee, but they didn't watch us girls. So as soon as I entered the bathroom, I turned on the hot water, under the guise that I am bathroom shy, and needed the sound of running water. They conveniently put a little thermometer tape on the pee cup, to make sure it was 'fresh caught'. Fools
 
2018-05-06 8:48:19 AM  

ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?


That's the likely scenario.  She claimed she cleaned it up, but a manager made the decision that asking customers to use a urine scented microwave would cause problems for them.

AtlanticCoast63: ...There's also the possibility that if she was smart enough to want to warm up the urine, she was smart enough to put it in a container that wasn't exactly microwave safe.


The smart thing to do was to warm the container between her legs before hand.  No joke, it would get the urine close to body temp in a safer manner.
 
2018-05-06 8:50:08 AM  

siyuntz: a gazzillion years ago


So, last Thursday?
 
2018-05-06 9:14:20 AM  

bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?


In other news, commercial-grade appliances cost a lot more than consumer-grade crap.
 
2018-05-06 9:23:04 AM  

ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped.


Microwaves really excite water molecules and it's dead easy to superheat an aqueous solution.

Superheated solutions, as you know, are liquid but hotter than the boiling point and any disturbance will cause them to react explosively.

I personally have managed to explode water in an uncovered ceramic coffee mug.

So I like to assume that what she was also using for comedic purposes.
 
2018-05-06 9:24:01 AM  

Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer: bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?

Commercial grade, you can't just go buy a $80 microwave at walmart and use it the way a 7-11 uses it.


They are super powerful 220v 5000W+ ones. They heat up food way, way quicker. Probably why it ended up blowing up. I have sad memories of the first time I tried to use one on a burrito.
 
2018-05-06 9:39:44 AM  

LavenderWolf: If you're making a piece of equipment available for the public, it had damn well better be good equipment or it WILL fail and probably light something on fire doing it. Better to spend the money for commercial grade stuff.


But somehow the same public can buy a microwave from Wal-Mart, use it at home in the same manner as a microwave at 7-11, and they don't fail or light stuff on fire.
 
2018-05-06 9:42:03 AM  

Rigby-Reardon: Did the cops tell her "urine big trouble"?


No. The cop said "As far as criminals go, on a scale of one to ten, urinate."
 
2018-05-06 9:42:43 AM  

bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?


It's probably what their vendor charges them.
 
2018-05-06 10:07:58 AM  
Should have used the liquid chemical hand warmers hunters use. Low intensity heat, flexible enough to wrap around many containers, discreet enough that you aren't handling urine in public.
 
2018-05-06 10:18:53 AM  

mrmopar5287: LavenderWolf: If you're making a piece of equipment available for the public, it had damn well better be good equipment or it WILL fail and probably light something on fire doing it. Better to spend the money for commercial grade stuff.

But somehow the same public can buy a microwave from Wal-Mart, use it at home in the same manner as a microwave at 7-11, and they don't fail or light stuff on fire.


Generally your microwave at home isn't actually microwaving things for several hours a day. What part of this aren't you getting?
 
2018-05-06 10:25:29 AM  

lack of warmth: ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?

That's the likely scenario.  She claimed she cleaned it up, but a manager made the decision that asking customers to use a urine scented microwave would cause problems for them.

AtlanticCoast63: ...There's also the possibility that if she was smart enough to want to warm up the urine, she was smart enough to put it in a container that wasn't exactly microwave safe.

The smart thing to do was to warm the container between her legs before hand.  No joke, it would get the urine close to body temp in a safer manner.


Some folks use soda bottle preforms.
They are of a convenient shape for many women, and some men to discretely insert into a warm cavity. .

https://www.amazon.com/Soda-Bottle-Pr​e​forms-Caps-30/dp/B008MB1QNY
 
2018-05-06 11:22:18 AM  
Peppermint Patties (remove the foil) are a great thing to microwave in the 7-11.   They erupt like the creature in Alien.    You don't want to do this at home because the whole place reeks of mint afterward.
 
2018-05-06 11:30:49 AM  
This is the sort of thing you get when your state legalizes dope.
 
2018-05-06 11:33:34 AM  
Spend some of your dreamy Sunday watching college boys put all kinds of shiat you're not supposed to in a microwave. Strangely very compelling to watch.

Microwaving Dry Ice (Microwave Explodes)
Youtube i8pmk5xnO2s
 
2018-05-06 11:37:53 AM  
subby left out examples of better ways.  I used a cup of coffee on the way to the test.  I dipped my glue bottle full of clean stuff in the cup.   Nurse said my pee pee was too hot. That I should be dead.  Bummer.  So I gave her the real stuff.  I didn't like that job anyway.
 
2018-05-06 12:16:57 PM  

munko: subby left out examples of better ways.  I used a cup of coffee on the way to the test.  I dipped my glue bottle full of clean stuff in the cup.   Nurse said my pee pee was too hot. That I should be dead.  Bummer.  So I gave her the real stuff.  I didn't like that job anyway.


I carry a catheter in my backpack to work. Upon being informed it is test day, I put my clean stuff in the bag and route the catheter appropriately. If called to test I simply pull out the attached bag of clean piss and pour it (lukewarm) into the sample cup on the counter right in front of the test monitor. Never once have they actually required me to drop trousers to look or touch to even see if the catheter is inserted.
 
2018-05-06 12:26:14 PM  

LavenderWolf: mrmopar5287: LavenderWolf: If you're making a piece of equipment available for the public, it had damn well better be good equipment or it WILL fail and probably light something on fire doing it. Better to spend the money for commercial grade stuff.

But somehow the same public can buy a microwave from Wal-Mart, use it at home in the same manner as a microwave at 7-11, and they don't fail or light stuff on fire.

Generally your microwave at home isn't actually microwaving things for several hours a day. What part of this aren't you getting?


Still not seeing home microwaves routinely lighting stuff on fire.
 
2018-05-06 12:27:19 PM  

Cerebral Knievel: 668NeighborOfTheBeast: ReapTheChaos: I'm going to guess it was in a container with a lid, it built up pressure and the lid popped. I've had that happen countless times in my microwave, but never once did it ruin it. On the other hand, it was urine, so there's definitely cause to stop using it for food after that. The question is, will they, or will they just wipe it out and keep on using it?

I doubt it. Her Piss is so full of drugs it's like yellow nitroglycerin. Never put nitroglycerin in a microwave.

It was clean urine for a drug test..


If it was even hers.
 
2018-05-06 12:28:41 PM  

mrmopar5287: Still not seeing home microwaves routinely lighting stuff on fire.


Because they don't use dinky home models for industrial applications like in convenience stores.

The fact you aren't seeing fires is proof of what he was saying.
 
2018-05-06 12:29:05 PM  
(D) Garden Party
 
2018-05-06 12:30:32 PM  

bacchanalias and consequences: "The microwave is reportedly worth about $500."

Uh... what?


Apu Math.
 
2018-05-06 12:31:45 PM  

doglover: mrmopar5287: Still not seeing home microwaves routinely lighting stuff on fire.

Because they don't use dinky home models for industrial applications like in convenience stores.

The fact you aren't seeing fires is proof of what he was saying.


No, people's home microwaves aren't bursting into flames. We'd see lots of house fires to the point that microwaves would be considered dangerous goods if what he claimed happened more than about one in hundreds of millions.
 
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