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Gary Coleman four feet under, getting Down at the special ed dance, and the politically-correct term Palin-Americans: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/23 - 5/29
Posted by Drew at 2010-06-01 1:34:16 PM (28 comments) | Permalink

No writeup this week, just some good headlines. Enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-23 to Sat 2010-05-29:

img1.fark.net  Special ed students heading to prom, ready to get Down    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Truck carrying 17 million bees crashes. That's, like, 3.4 million quarters    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Lindsay Lohan's ankle bracelet has Breathalyzer technology, proving yet again that Lohan frequently has her ankles near her face    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Survey reveals that most of us believe people do not show caring and sympathy to those with mental illnesses. Well, jeez, we elected the poor bastards, isn't that enough?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Chicago woman was attacked and had acid thrown in her face. Witnesses shocked at such baseless violence    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Former carny tries to turn his life around, but fails. Now he's a lawyer    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Judge calls alcohol-fuelled violence "the plague of Britain," narrowly edging out "the Irish"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gary Coleman is four feet under    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt split. Lawyers to settle who gets custody of their I.Q. point    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  73 killed in Jamaica; 365 jobs now available    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gay activists vow to start hunger strike, lesbians promise to only eat out    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Albert Haynesworth being sued for ten million dollars by stripper he knocked up. DNA test deemed unnecessary because of the baby's habit of kicking and whining for a while and then taking the rest of the afternoon off    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Wrigley Field went dark in the middle of a Cubs game this evening, instead of mid-September as usual    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Roy Halladay does his best Deepwater Horizon impression by suffocating every Fish in his path    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Titanium pentoxide will offer 200 times the data density of Blu-ray, says professor at Tokyo University's porn-storage laboratory    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Study suggests gamers experience more pleasant dreams, such as having a girlfriend    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Concorde may be revived as a 'vintage' plane. "A bold effort, possessing a sharp nose, rich body, and an earthy, fiery finish"    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  "Twilight sucks up National Movie Awards" says headline that is four words too long    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gary Coleman in critical condition after head injury. Symptoms include difficulty understanding speech    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Woman accuses Gene Simmons of sexual assult, claims she has suffered humiliation, shame, embarrassment, anger, anxiety, loss of sleep, depression, and other normal signs of having contact with Gene Simmons    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Rush Limbaugh, who drinks $4,000 bottles of wine and built his house to resemble Versailles, would like to remind you that liberal elitists are out of touch with the working man    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Rand Paul fires his staff for making him have stupid opinions    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Senate panel approves bill banning the word "retarded" from federal laws, opting for more politically correct "Palin-American"    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Slipknot bassist found dead in Iowa hotel room. Preliminary cause of death reportedly listed as 'Shame'    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kylie Minogue is rumored to be replacing U2 as Glastonbury headliner. That's like having Audrey Hepburn fill in for Lindsay Lohan    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Crystal Bowersox loses American Idol, then her boyfriend dumps her. Sounds like she's got the lyrics for her first country song    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  BP's managing director would like everyone to know that no one is "more devastated" by the spill than him. Not, you know, economically or anything. But feelings-wise    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Consumer confidence highest in two years on news the survey is about two months behind reality    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Stocks poised to rebound. This is not a repeat from last week, or the week before, or the week before, and will certainly not be followed soon with a "stocks plunge" article    img.fark.net
· · ·

Street signs of the Apostles, cannabis farmers getting baked, and the only way to ruin the phrase "Kate Moss lesbian fling": Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/16 - 5/22
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-25 1:38:38 PM (14 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No writeup this week from Drew. Enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-16 to Sat 2010-05-22:

img.fark.net  94-year-old woman earns college diploma, doesn't seem too worried about repaying student loans    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Thieves are targeting street signs named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Police plan to throw the good book at them    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  At the end of the day, journalists - unsung heroes for concerned residents - would use cliches in a split second. In a last-ditch effort to do an about face, one writer provides an outpouring of support and points out the most overused cliches  

img.fark.net  Man killed by heat from cannabis farm in his home. Dude, he was SO baked    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  30,000 year old sex toy used to start fires, your mom    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Police bust up an HIV/AIDS pyramid scheme. Obviously, Ramses wasn't involved    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Alabama geometry teacher goes off on tangent, lectures kids on angles needed to assassinate President Obama, drawing acute interest of Secret Service. How obtuse    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ethnic violence prompts Kyrgyzstan to declare a state of mrgncy    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man gets hand caught in wood-chipping machine, doctors expect him to be all right    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Alfalfa sprouts recalled due to salmonella, buckwheat crops said to be o-tay    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Dalai Lama finally uses his Twitter account. Trending topics: #Gunga galunga    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Gay breaks 44-year-old mark. Mark inconsolable    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Sagan wins fifth stage of the Tour of California, billions and billions of picoseconds a head of his nearest rival    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Rajon Rondo, playing in the Eastern Conference Finals, gets a pony. Well, he didn't actually get a pony, but he was getting pretty much anything else he wanted against Orlando    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  "Traffic density and increased BMI linked." That's science-talk for "Fat people don't like to walk"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Nearly one in three social networkers suffer from 'poster's remorse.' Mods, please delete this    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Astronauts replace 4 of the 6 batteries on the ISS. Thankfully the ISS wasn't built by Apple since that would have involved taking the whole space station back to the Apple store    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Reviewer says Sarah Jessica Parker's shoes are the only interesting thing about Sex and the City 2. Probably because they bring you good luck    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Supermodel *fap* Kate Moss *fap fap* had a lesbian fling *fap fap fap* with Courtney Love. *PPpppsssssssst*    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Hollywood not the only place out of ideas. Asian studio set to remake Ghost. Patrick Swayze to oversee production    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  VA. A.G. resists probing of major donor    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  When Palin endorses a candidate over the webiatchanges the race in their favor. Delusional Dems can only remain so optimisticoontil the primaries are over    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Third time's a charm: Germany now owns Europe    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  Just like how one large planet-destroying asteroid can still do unthinkable damage by breaking off into smaller asteroids, Joe Jonas looks to inflict damage upon an unwitting public with a solo record    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Kelis and Robyn hatch plans for their "And You Are...?" joint tour    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Bono undergoes emergency back surgery; doctors believe it is because he is continually trying to throw his arms around the world    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Inventor of ATM machine passes away, away    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Symantec buying VeriSign web security division. Paying online with a credit card will now consume 33% of your system resources    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  With $50 million from Toyota, Tesla Motors sure to be unstoppable    img.fark.net
· · ·

Astronaut dogmeat, plowed farmers, and Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/9 - 5/15
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-18 12:53:47 PM (10 comments) | Permalink

Nothing new this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-09 to Sat 2010-05-15:

img1.fark.net  American Mensa holds its annual convention in Detroit this year. Slogan: "Who's the genius that picked Detroit?"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Man arrested after stealing $8,350 worth of Apple merchandise. Police say they have recovered both Macbook Pros    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Two medical-marijuana businesses firebombed, drawing hundreds of spectators downwind    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Libyan plane crashes in Tripoli, over 100 dead. Only one child survives, who will be pursued mercilessly by Mr. Glass    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Two homeless men accused of killing a third homeless man, could face harsh sentence of being provided with shelter, clothing and food indefinitely    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gay-hating activist who toured Europe with a gay male escort resigns, rather than leave his friend's behind    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Tiger penis found at Auckland Airport. There was a golf tournament in New Zealand?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Actual headline: "3d man now faces murder charge" What a relief    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  While in orbit, Chinese astronauts eat dog meat to keep their strength up and their senses as Shar Peis possible    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Farmer killed when tractor rolls over him. An autopsy is pending, but at this point police suspect he was plowed    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Census worker shot at by lawyer who supports the tally ban    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says rookies have it too easy, expect too much, need to try dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kansas City Royals promote Trey Hillman from manager to ex-manager    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Hey Cleveland, hope you like hobbits, because that's the only way you're going to see the return of the king    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Astronomers find 9.6 billion-year-old object; scheduled to host SNL in June    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Toyota announces that they should have a $50K hydrogen-powered sedan ready by early 2015, with recalls ready by mid-to-late 2015    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Nasal spray developed to help prevent over-eating. Submitter remembers hearing about something similar using powder and a straw    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Kim Kardashian wants a man who sees her good qualities, five lights    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Megan Fox, bisexual star of Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kristen Stewart "had done it with a bunch of guys" before Robert Pattinson. That makes two of them    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Observers wondering whether the Barack Obama-David Cameron relationship will be "special," like how Churchill and FDR used to keep close correspondence, or how Tony Blair vacationed up George Bush's ass    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Chavez says he will not attend summit because Honduran leader is attending. Honduras suddenly invited to dozens more meetings    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Woody Allen thinks we should make Obama a dictator "for a few years" so he could do a lot of good quickly, end Clone War    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Roger Waters explains the inspiration behind The Wall was his first ex-wife. Guess she wouldn't eat the meat but wanted the pudding    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Rapper Trae Tha Truth sues radio station, Webster's Dictionary    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Slash, Ace Frehley, Motorhead's Lemmy and Cheri Curie honor Betty Ford during tribute, for providing them with a place to stay between tours    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Turkey agrees to let Russia build an oil pipeline in exchange for Russia agreeing to ask before building it    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "The increase in unemployment is a sign of a stronger job market, but it is also a sign of how weak the job market still is," says economist Mark "Yogi Berra" Zandi    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Ford does not know what to do with Lincoln, should ask Booth    img.fark.net
· · ·

New feature for link-sharing: the Farkbar. Fark: working to integrate bars and Fark since 1999
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-11 4:00:15 PM, edited 2010-05-12 3:07:36 PM (128 comments) | Permalink

We're launching a new added functionality to outside network link sharing that we wanted to let you know about it. With the growth of networking sites, some people asked if we could make it easier to share Fark headlines, so on the last round of design tweaks, we made the linking buttons more prominent. We added one-click buttons below the headline for you to share threads on Facebook, Twitter, random other link sharing places, as well as an internal fk.cm URL sweetener, if you're into the whole brevity thing.

A lot of you are using those (thank you) and sharing some of your favorite Fark headlines or weird stories on these sites, but we've found that one part was a bit confusing for new readers. Until now, people clicking the outside links haven't been able to get directly to the linked article from any external app (RSS, Facebook app, Twitter links, etc). When they click on external links, they land on the comment thread, and then have to click again on the story link to read the article. While that's fine for most of you, it's baffling to people who haven't been here before.

We've been discussing a way to make it easier, so that people that you might share links with would be able to read the story, but also could visit the Fark thread. The solution is the Farkbar, a thin bar at the top of the destination site. It would only show up for externally linked threads, and it would let people read the article, but still have a way to read the Fark headline and visit the thread (which is sometimes (often) better than the original article itself). This lets people that aren't Farkers read the target story directly, without forcing them to the thread.

This is only for external links. For those of you who come to the Fark site, nothing will look or operate any differently than what you're already used to. The Farkbar won't show up if you click on a link from here. The only change is that when a Fark thread is linked on Facebook or Twitter or any of the other networking sites, we added the functionality to go to the linked article instead of the comments page. And it can be disabled in your profile preferences, too, if you prefer the current system.
· · ·

How to help Fark help mainstream media call attention to the flood crisis in Nashville. Also, Fark's favorite headlines for 5/2 - 5/8
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-11 2:18:57 PM, edited 2010-05-11 2:38:14 PM (61 comments) | Permalink

In Florida hanging down at the Poynter Institute working on their 5th Estate Project. Things weren't too bad in KY after the storms, there isn't a river or lake going through Lexington. There is one about 15-20 miles away though which is where all the water generally goes. The water that doesn't turns into weird lakes and creeks which not coincidentally occur in the same places every time this happens. Which means there are no structures built there either. Not to say it never happens but it doesn't happen often.

Nashville however has a river, and after taking the brunt of last week's storm the river apparently decided to reclaim most of the town. Unfortunately for Nashville, the news cycle is already innundated with articles about the attempted Times Square bombing and the probably eventually much worse oil rig disaster in the gulf.

Which prompted Andrew Romano at Newsweek to write a piece called "Why the Media Ignored the Nashville Flood"

Basically his point is the reasons there's little coverage is there are two other disasters going on, and also cites something I'll call "media momentum" whereby stories get coverage because there already is a lot of coverage on them. He also says that the disaster didn't have a narrative, which is the reasons MSM can tell you WHY you should care.

Example narratives:
NYC: because it's in NYC.
Gulf spill: Kills turtles.

I think Romano's pretty much on target, but he missed one piece (probably due to space constraints if I had to guess). Based on what I see from where I sit (which, if Journalism is the entire planet Earth, I live on the moon), the reason Nashville didn't get much coverage is pretty much exactly what Romano says it as. As a non-journalist who runs a big ass news aggregator I'd also like to toss into the blame pot the fact that people flat out aren't clicking on the flood articles. If they were, there would probably be followups. Yesterday morning 10Connects.com snapped a quick photo of a redneck with a shark in his pickup truck. 200,000 pageviews later they've assigned beat reporters to finding this guy. Etc.

The greater point here is that we've moved from a news climate where the story determined its own importance to where the audience determines the story's importance. Man that sounds like some BS that a "social media expert would say". But I don't mean by people tweeting it or fb liking it or redditing it or whatever. It comes down to one simple thing: journalism outfits need money, this takes priority over "importance". It always has to varying degres, marketing departments in every industry are always in a tug of war with production over what should be the best course of action. When money gets scarce though, marketing departments get a louder voice and more pull. Should it be that way? No. For example, I also think we should live in a meritocracy and that beer should be $1 for a 12 pack and I'm not having any luck there, either.

In short, news consumers end up with the media coverage they deserve.

So, here's a possible solution: if anyone living in Nashville would like Fark to help rectify the problem of little or no news about the flood, please email me directly anything you feel absolutely HAS to get out about the flood. I'll turn it over to my crack team of monkeys with typewriters and we'll come up with a compelling, traffic-driving headline for it and put it on the main page. Because Fark is all about taglines, less so the actual articles themselves. Maybe we can help MSM provide a little narrative and help them cover a dire and dangerous situation like they should.

Will this work? Damned if I know. Let's give it a shot

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-05-02 to Sat 2010-05-08:

img1.fark.net  Today on Fear-Filled Mad Libs: INSECT BITES during PREGNANCY can cause BIRTH DEFECTS    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Rollercoaster riders get stuck upside down for 20 minutes after poncho gets stuck in rails. If we controlled our borders better he probably wouldn't have been there    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "Giant box" could be key to oil spill containment, according to engineering firm of Duggar, Gosselin, and Suleman LLC    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Nigerian President dead. Widow makes plea for help in getting his money out of the country    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Robber targets gas station. Worker gives him a free fill-up of leaded    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  SeaTac partially evacuated after smoking bag found on tarmac. Amy Winehouse's manager apologizes, explains that she got lost    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Maple trees are being stolen in Washington state. Police on the lookout for syruptitious behavior    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Texas man tries to kill his ex-wife with a bomb made from salad bowls, promptly gets tossed in jail    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Headline: No charges for corpse parked outside GlenOak High School. Great. Now zombies are going to think they can park wherever the hell they want to    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  British women annoyed that their partners are more interested in their iPhones than having sex. In fairness, the iPhones are easier to turn on and have a mute function    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Seattle police caught on camera threatening to beat the "Mexican piss" out of man. No word yet on how they knew he had Corona    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Ballplayers with special needs take to field of their dreams. In other news the Chicago Cubs play tomorrow night at 7:05 PM    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Tebow's jersey is #1 is sales on NFL.com. Is there anything this guy can't do? Besides develop a quality throwing motion that is    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Raiders drop JaMarcus Russell, registers 6.3 on the Richter Scale    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Lizard monitor discovers monitor lizard by monitoring the monitors of other monitor lizard monitors    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Most humans carry up to 4% of Neanderthal DNA. Which explains subette's last four boyfriends    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Some of the tiniest microbes yet discovered found living on acid and getting poked by bigger microbes. So kind of like your high school experience, minus the Metallica t-shirts    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Sarah Jessica Parker has had it with neighsayers who insist that she tried to stirrup feuds with her "Sex and the City 2" co-stars    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Taylor Swift donates $500,000 to Nashville flood relief. Your move, Kanye    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Oprah shaves off Dr. Phil's moustache, still keeps Steadman as beard    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Despite the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico being potentially the worst ever off our coastlines, Sarah Palin insists "drill here, drill now." That's her slogan, and she's sticking to it -- like crude on a pelican    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  The Obama administration's vow to "keep their boot on the neck" of BP is a major change from previous regulators who kept thier mouths firmly wrapped around an altogether different part of BP's allegorical anatomy    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  If Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid loses the election, the Democrats will be better off. As will the State of Nevada, the United States of America, the Solar System, and the Orion Spiral Arm of the Milky Way galaxy    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Shakira is working on a new "edgy" album that will be sold in every state but Arizona, where it will be marked up in price and sold as an import    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  The Beastie Boys putting final touches on their upcoming album, "Check Your Prostate," due for fall release    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Austin renames street after Willie Nelson. Watch out for the potholes    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  U.S. private sector takes on 32,000 in April, only outmatched by your mom's private sector    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Nintendo's profit forecasts miss estimates, will have to start over all the way from the beginning of the stage    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  PNG charges dropped against Australian bankers, even though the prosecution managed not to lose any data    img.fark.net
· · ·

Wonton endangerment, Schwarzenegger on the moon, and a sweaty, uninhibited, double-jointed disgrace. Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/25 - 5/1
Posted by Drew at 2010-05-04 1:56:47 PM (35 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-04-25 to Sat 2010-05-01:

img1.fark.net  Poison suspected after 80 Afghan school girls get sick. Bret Michaels is having the worst week ever    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  A pill to prevent premature ejaculation will be coming soon    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Busboy at Chinese restaurant stabs co-worker with cleaver. Will be charged with wonton endangerment    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Concertgoers show up in SS gestapo uniforms, receive beatdown upon leaving. How did they nazi this coming?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Mexico issues traveler advisory for Arizona. How Arpaiopriate    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Teen discovers his dog's barf is worse than his bite    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Florida makes another attempt to ban bestiality, raising the question of how their attempts keep failing in the first place    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Man accused of stealing 20 packs of 'male enhancement' product from gas station, will do hard time    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  What women swallow may affect kids and grandkids, mostly whether they have them or not    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Two Latin American countries allow homosexuals to adopt children. Know how I know Uruguay?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "Boy loses hand in bedroom explosion". And you thought the worst that could happen was going blind    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Sports radio host compares Tim Tebow to a Nazi, which is ridiculous considering the Nazis had a devastating air attack    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  IOC strips underage Chinese gymnasts    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Canadiens march into Washington and burn the Capitals. This is not a repeat from 1812    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Scientific studies show that taking psychedelics can help reduce anxiety, at least until the green monster with teeth on its fingertips starts gnawing your face off    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Japan pledged that before this decade is out, it will put Arnold Schwarzenegger on the Moon. Regrettably they also want to return him safely to the Earth. They want to do this not because it is easy, but because it is hard    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Winners for the first International Longest Tweet contest announced. Unfortunately, the longest entry was a 3,748,839,101-way tie at 140 characters    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  John Cleese calls the 31-year gap between him and his girlfriend "a disgrace." A lusty, sweaty, uninhibited, double-jointed disgrace    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jenna Jameson has a big hole in her story. In related news, this headline is thirteen words too long    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Rielle Hunter tells Oprah that she's not a homewrecker, which is true, because she's a sprawling estate-wrecker    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  George W. Bush's book "Decision Points" being released November 9th. Here you all thought it was going to be coloring book, but the sneaky bastard went all "connect the dots" on you    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sue Lowden (R-NV): "The GOP liberated Europe in World War II." Yeah, remember when they stormed Normandy on R-Day?    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Senator from the party of nuance, bipartisanship and sweet reason refers to his political opponents as "white supremacists", is given chairmanship of new You're Not Really Helping Here Committee    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Justin Bieber concert cancelled after fans get trampled in stampede. No word on whether they were trying to stampede into or out of the concert    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Billy Corgan and Courtney Love fighting. 1995 wants it's headline back... actually no, it probably doesn't    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Shakira's "Waka Waka" has been named the official song of this year's World Cup. In related news, Fozzie Bear to sue Shakira blind for copyright infringement    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  ASTRAZENECA FINED $510 FARKING MILLION DOLLARS FOR ILLEGALLY MARKETING A FRIGGIN' ANTI-PSYCHOTIC DRUG AND IT ANGERS ME SO FARKING MUCH THAT I'M GOING TO PUNCH MY COMPUTER AND SMASH MY FARKING KEYBOARD  

img1.fark.net  AOL earnings fall 23% on loss of subscriber    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Louisiana closes down shrimping areas, affecting shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup    img.fark.net
· · ·

Armenian cognac, a detour to Jerusalem and Headlines of the Week for 4/18 - 4/24
Posted by Drew at 2010-04-27 11:18:41 AM (20 comments) | Permalink

I'm back after being gone for a couple of weeks. I started out in Armenia visiting Alexis Ohanian of Reddit fame. He's there for a few months, and I figured why not pop out there since I had to be in London the following week anyhow. Had a great stay, drank a ton of Armenian Cognac, and I remember about half of it. It was great.

I was supposed to end up in London but thanks to Iceland's economy spreading its ashes over all of Europe, air travel was shut down for a few days. So I detoured over to Israel instead and spent time in Jerusalem and Eilot mostly. Arrived back home last Thursday and am still recovering from jetlag.

As for what's going on in the news, looks like the focus is on financial oversight reform. Can't think of anything more exciting than that, other than watching paint dry and grass grow. We're in a pretty bad news lull right now, one that isn't cyclical at all. Sometimes that's how it goes.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-04-18 to Sat 2010-04-24:

img1.fark.net  Cuban cigar legend dies at 91. Will be cremated slowly over an after-dinner glass of brandy    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Helvetia man dies in brush clearing incident. Town issues a statement sans sheriff    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  "Iranian missile may be able to hit U.S. by 2015." That's one slow missile    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  April is STD Awareness Month. Pass it on    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Bear with head stuck in milk can rescued. Oh bother    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Missing boy dropped off at Catholic cathedral unharmed...for now    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Woman cleared of airport battery - both terminals    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Doctors in Spain perform world's first full face transplant. Patient expected to remain in hospital for two months, upon which he will be released on someone else's recognizance    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  After 28 years in a mental institution, would-be presidential assassin John Hinckley is nearing release. For the love of god, nobody tell him that Jodie Foster is a lesbian now    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Man's 600ft suicide plunge from the Gap fails due to freak wave; pile of folded sweaters    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Man dies while mounting Uluru; Kirk unimpressed    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Uncle of Phillies' vomit fan says his nephew choked, which under MLB rules makes him eligible to play for the Mets    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Manu Ginobili suffers broken nose in Game 3, expected to be in a body cast for weeks    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Green Bay Packers welcome Zombo, now can do anything    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Scientists have no success with birth control for feral Texas hogs. Some contraceptives wore off too quickly, others required too specific of dose, and shutting down the bars earlier was too drastic a solution    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gene therapy cures blindness in dogs; in related story, dog horrified to find he's been drinking from toilet    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Scientists create made-to-order diamonds. So far, only "friendly BJ" size has been achieved, but "three-way with her sister" is theoretically possible    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Bruce Willis to release his own fragrance. Yippie-ki-yay, muskyfarker    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jennifer Lopez talks about her new movie "The Back-up Plan." Luckily, it's very slow and has an intermittent beep to warn bystanders    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Russell Brand accidentally set on fire while filming new movie. Better luck next time, fire    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Obama signed a law passed by a Democratic Congress allowing people to carry openly in National Parks, with the predictable result that people show up armed in a National Park to protest his attempts to trample their Second Amendment rights  

img1.fark.net  Senior Iranian cleric blames women for all his problems. You and me both, buddy    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kyrgyzstan's ousted president vowels not to return    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Michael Buble wins the Juno for album of the year. If the preceeding sentence made no sense to you, you're probably not wearing a hat with flaps right now    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jenna Jameson to launch her first album, which reportedly contains a literal version of "How Deep Is Your Love"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Paul Weller slams Facebook, MySpace, horseless carriages    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Lehman Brothers examiner will testify that President Bush's SEC knew Lehman was bankrupt and watched them spectaularly fail. That is the America the teahadists want back    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Target will begin selling Kindles on April 25th, offering refunds by April 26th    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Moody's downgrades themselves to "subpoenaed"    img.fark.net
· · ·

Discussion of a change to non-logged in users, and Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 4/11 - 4/17
Posted by Drew at 2010-04-19 3:47:13 PM (169 comments) | Permalink

Hey there, we have a change coming and we wanted you to have a heads up about it, even though most of you will never notice it.

For the last few years, advertisers have been been begging us to use interstitials on Fark. We've always told them no, because 1) it's annoying as hell, and 2) it's annoying as hell. They've kept asking and we've turned them down every time, but they still come back the next month and ask again. It's not that we don't need the money, which helps keep the site running and helps us with various staffing needs, but that we couldn't think of a way to make it work that wouldn't suck for you. We've never wanted it to mess up your user experience, but we also don't like seeing that money flowing to other sites when we're doing our best to stay afloat.

Even though it's been shot down every other time it's been discussed, there may be a middle ground where we can do something that doesn't affect 99% of you. Here's what we're implementing: we've made an arrangement to allow interstitials for non-logged-in users at a rate of one per day. If you're logged in, you won't see it. A person that's not logged in would see it once in a 24-hour period. The advertisers would like to see more than that, but this is all we're willing to allow. While most of you will never notice this change, we figured a heads-up was still in order.

If you're logged in and you're seeing an interstitial ad, it's likely not related to this (in the past it's been remnant ads that we never approved), so please let us know immediately so we can go smack the advertiser. We're hoping that this can work where it's under your radar but still helps us out.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-04-11 to Sat 2010-04-17:

img.fark.net  Man who had sex with horse "does not have stable address"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Autistic girl rescued after being stranded in swamp for 4 days, 7 hours, 33 minutes and 19 seconds    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Copper piping stolen from hrch    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Police bust third grader for suspected heroin dealing. Next, on Thomas the Trainspotter    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man pleads guilty to cheating in a bass tournament. He received a jail sentence THIS big    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Scientists create a bulletproof t-shirt by adding a fourth wolf    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  National park fees waived next week. EVERYBODY PICNIC    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Record pollen count in Kansas City is so high, drug dealers are turning meth back into Sudafed    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Police say woman who drove head on into a garbage truck was trashed    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  A man got stabbed in Rolando. There was something in the air that night, the knives were bright, Rolando, they were stabbing you and me, for liberty, Rolando    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Boy brings rabid bat to elementary school for show-and-tell, orders round of shots for all his friends    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Houston Astros begin season 0-5 for the first time since 1983, back when the team sported uniforms designed by a drag queen high on paint fumes    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The Bruins, much like the Toronto viewing audience, get number two from the Maple Leafs    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Jeff Francoeur says the Mets are behind manager Jerry Manuel 110 percent, which is also the team batting average    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Scientists have developed an edible film that can be used to wrap food products. They are tentatively calling it a "tortilla"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Doctors prevent brain damage in baby born not breathing by using experimental Xenon gas treatment. How noble of them    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  India's space program successfully maps the ocean floor    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Vanessa Hudgens joins the cast of Rent even though Hair would have been a more appropriate choice    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Breast implants reject Amy Winehouse    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Michael J Fox says Parkinson's improved his life, speed at which his Polaroids develop    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Oklahoma considers its own militia to protect it from the federal government. As if there's anything in Oklahoma anybody wants    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Leader of Norway, stranded in NY by Iceland's volcano, runs the country with his iPad. In other news--You can run Norway without multi-tasking    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Colon, who is behind Wood, didn't like what Nass was trying to do to Wood. Nass says Colon's an ass. Colon says he's sorry and now Colon & Nass are working together again    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  John Frusciante is named Top Guitarist of the Past Thirty Years by people who don't know what the f*ck they're talking about    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Courtney Love impressed with Jessica Simpson, twist-off caps on booze bottles    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Woman arrested for stalking a Freddie Mercury look-alike. She was sentenced to three years in an imaginary prison    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Palm has decided to put itself up for sale, which is a little like saying that homeless guy on the subway has decided to start accepting venture capital    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Google and Library of Congress to archive all Tweets twatted since 2006    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Goldman kicked in the Sachs by SEC    img.fark.net
· · ·

Followup on the Chicago AWpocalypse, hanging out in Armenia with the founder of Reddit, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/4 - 4/10
Posted by Drew at 2010-04-13 9:53:45 AM (54 comments) | Permalink

Thanks to everyone who came to the Chicago Fark Party this past weekend. The turnout was the most we've ever had for a Fark shindig, there were definitely more than 200 folks there, maybe more than 250 even. I drank about a dozen beers so math was hard. Thanks go out to Naskar, who may be king douchebag but he managed to pull off the highest attendence Fark party ever. He also managed to throw up on a train but you'll have to ask him about that.

We will definitely do something like this again, stay tuned.

I'm currently hanging out in Armenia of all places with Alexis Ohanian, the guy who founded Reddit. Travel out wasn't too bad other than the solid 24 hours of travel, 14 hours of being on planes, and the 9 hour timezone difference. I'm keeping notes about the travel and will post a longer update next week. Current plans are for me to get to England sometime next week and be at the EuroFark party April 24th in London. I spent a bunch of time trying to learn the Armenian alphabet so I could at least read street signs but it's really hard. Only a couple of letters resemble romanian or cyrillic counterparts, and there are a few consonant letters that we don't have in English.

So far this trip I have learned that in France, airline refueler strikes only slow down takeoffs by about 10 minutes and that Air France has no problem showing boobs on French TV shows on flights out of France. Everyone was super friendly in Paris too, probably had something to do with me at least trying (and failing) to speak the language. I think I may have to change my opinion about the French.

Much more next week.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-04-04 to Sat 2010-04-10:

img.fark.net  British kissing couple loses jail appeal in Dubai. Now they'll have to lightly handshake their freedom goodbye    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  US approves oral treatment for colorectal cancer. Eeeeew    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Weekend at Bernie's 3: Women arrested at airport for inappropriate carrion baggage    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Oldest American dies at 114. Pants to be worn at half-chest in remembrance    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Prison mistakenly frees man in jail for drug-related crimes. RELEASE THE CRACKHEAD    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man gets off easy after viewing porn    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Camilla breaks leg while hiking in Scotland. Kids, I need you to look away    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  California approves "Reagan Day", a holiday where we'll max out our credit cards, give guns to the local mosque, fark a person we call "Mommy", and then fall asleep and forget about it the next day    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man dies after fall while replacing window. At least he wasn't in a lot of pane    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Teen accused of having sex with a donkey. In his defense, it was a nice ass    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Sir Edmund Hillary's ashes won't Everest on world's highest mountain    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Butler defeats Michigan State, will play in the National Championship game if their head coach's mother signs his permission slip    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Obama to throw out first pitch at Nationals game Monday. Presumably using a ball taken from the wealthy Yankees    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tennis star Martina Navratilova diagnosed with breast cancer, a condition affecting nearly 2,000 men a year    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  A judge has dismissed the $750 million lawsuit of Stan Lee Media Inc v. Stan Lee and Marvel Inc. The official findings will be released in six variant covers with a special edition foil embossed 'timeline of events' prelude and aftermath    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Chinese to aid in construction of railway in California. This is not a repeat from the 1860s    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Collaborative video games like World of Warcraft help build the next generation of leaders America needs. Fat, nerdy, Cheeto-stained leaders    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Whitney Houston hospitalized with "nose and throat" problems, most likely because the lines before her concerts are so long    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  "CSI" stuntwoman killed in motorcycle crash. It seems like these kinds of accidents... *puts on his sunglasses* ... will stunt your career. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Michael J Fox is happy to have given up booze, because he prefers his martinis stirred anyway    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Feds reject Pennsylvania's plan to toll Interstate 80, saying charging people to flee the state is cruel and unusual punishment    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  "Obama Eyes Interns." First he repeats all of Bush's mistakes; now he's imitating Clinton    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Justice John Paul Stevens is retiring; will be replaced by Judge George Ringo    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  See the Lilith Fair, live on tour. This is not the premise behind Hot Tub Time Machine 2    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Liverpool to have two month John Lennon festival, George Harrison to get three week celebration and Ringo will get a special afternoon for the kids    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Coolio willingly shows up in court after learning an arrest warrant was issued for him. So, we've established he had two hits, right?    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Blondes aren't just more fun, they also make more money. Granted, it may be in singles    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The bad news for Toyota just won't stop    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Euro touches 11-month bottom, has a seat right over there    img.fark.net
· · ·

DON'T: Stick your hand into a running lawnmower. DO: check out Drew's writeup and some of Fark's favorite headlines for 3/28 - 4/3
Posted by Drew at 2010-04-06 12:09:14 PM (48 comments) | Permalink

We're moving into the Spring news cycle now, which means it's time for the following Not News features to rear their heads:

- OH MY GOD IT'S A THUNDERSTORM: we've already had a few here in Kentucky, but we haven't had Spring's first local media tornado freakout yet. Always happens the first time, but by June -- after the 20th time or so -- local media is considerably less enthusiastic about them.

- GAS WILL BE $100 A GALLON BY MEMORIAL DAY: saw this one go by this morning, we stuck it in the Business tab, though, because it's pretty much what we all assumed anyhow.

- Kids wearing duct tape prom dresses. Same as every year, just skip this

- Lawn Mower Safety: yes, one full month after southerners started mowing their lawns an annual report on lawn mower safety makes the rounds. It includes such gems as not sticking your hand in the mower while it's on and... actually that's the main thing. The article/press release also implies that drinking beer while mowing makes you more likely to stick your hand in a running mower. I drink a lot and I've never been that drunk.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-03-28 to Sat 2010-04-03:

img1.fark.net  Woman says she was raped at an ATM. We're all tired of all those fees    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Workers injured after a three-story building being converted to a four-story building suddenly became a one-story building    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cigarettes may contain pig blood. Just what we need: the entire Middle East to go cold turkey all at once    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Three legged sled dog seeks respect... and the man who killed his paw    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the United States, has already provided valuable information on which version of Photoshop Iran is using    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Acupuncture may make dentist appointments less stressful, enable patients to transcend dental medication    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Pope sees sex scandal as a test, which explains all the cramming going on in the priesthood    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Six-year-old twins caught smuggling cocaine in underwear. That's some first grade blow    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Elton John, who has apparently never seen a single episode of Scooby Doo, announces he's going ahead with his concert in the Mayan ruins despite mysterious disasters befalling the set and outraged locals    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Cops chase ambulance stolen from hospital. Personal injury lawyers confused    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Kids in Easter egg hunt find dead body. Strangely, it disappeared two days later    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Golden State Warriors outscore the L.A. Clippers in the paint, which comes as no surprise to Patrick Tribett    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  With leading scorer Wayne Rooney (34) out 2-4 weeks with an ankle sprain, Man Utd's title hopes now rest with the club's second- and third-leading scorers, the somnambulistic Dimitar Berbatov (12) and surprising newcomer Own Goal (11)  

img1.fark.net  Orioles acquire Julio Lugo. Will overpay him the league minimum    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  Expert warns undersea volcano could destroy Italy 'as soon as tomorrow'. Volcano: "No, no, I lava this country"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  New law would create an internet 'kill switch', so that the President could turn off the internet in case of    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Japanese rape video game sparks controversy, outrage, curiosity, rape    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Supermodel Kate Moss is set to make her stage debut in a Shakespeare play. Inexplicably, she will not be playing the part of Hamlet's fencing sword    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Michael Jackson bodyguard fired. And not a moment too soon    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Christian Bale seeks US citizenship. OHHHHHH, GOOD FOR *YOU*    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Lawmakers vote to deny former Gov. Rod Blagojevich an official portrait, finally laying to rest any claims that he was being framed    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Israeli lobby having a hard time getting their new dog to sit, roll over, or stop his infernal yapping    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Republicans block flood insurance program extension, cutting off assistance to Northeast US flooding victims. JIM BOEHNER DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WET PEOPLE    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  Members of Rush are inducted into the Canadian Songwriters Hall Of Fame. Which is kind of like being named Hottest Girl at a Star Trek Convention    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jack Johnson announces details of his new albzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Three workers hurt in Elton John stage collapse. In related news, I'm still standing    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  How the iPad will change mobile business computing. Well, it'll be easier to spot the douchebags    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  So we finally get to see what The Fed bought from Bear Stearns in 2008. What'd we get? Crap. Crap. Crap. A tote bag. Crap. Crap. Polo shirt. Crap. And more crap    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Employers added most jobs in three years in March. I guess somebody's gotta staff all those death panels    img.fark.net
· · ·


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