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Fat gene easy to identify in a crowd, Jessica Simpson celebrates everything with pizza, and the secret to making Spotted Dick: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 11/14 - 11/20
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-23 7:48:59 AM (27 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-11-14 to Sat 2010-11-20:  Man to live with 400 spiders for three weeks for charity, says he plans to be on the web the whole time  42 dead in Chinese skyscraper fire. If only there were some sort of drill that could have prepared them for this  One in 10 British men likes to cook in the nude; frying bacon is the secret to making Spotted Dick  Police in Aruba testing jawbone to see if it is connected to Natalee Holloway. My guess is that it is not connected to anybody at the moment  Johnson City man accused of urinating on a police car. Cops now checking streaming video  Airport full body scanners cannot differentiate between a tampon and a stick of dynamite. T.S.A. officials are expected to exercise some discretion, however ultimately might have to pull the plug  Police name Theodore shooting victim. ALVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN  27 miners trapped in New Zealand mine. No word yet on if they dug too greedily or too deep  3 year old girl molested by 74 year old man. Which airport he worked at is unknown  Scientists say babies and robots learn from each other, according to astounding new reseach from the Institute Of We Watched Suri Cruise and Katie Holmes for About An Hour  If you were thinking about buying some black-market Ukranian sperm whale teeth, think again. You will not be allowed to import them. Narwahl you be allowed to sell them

Sports:  Pittsburgh's soon to be ex-kicker Jeff Reed says he's not going to make excuses, manages to miss that too  TIME nominates LeBron James for Person of the Year. LeBron and ESPN hastily organize hour-long douchemercial to influence the vote  Eagles adding wind turbines to stadium in hopes of increasing number of fans

Geek:  'Fat Gene' identified, although researchers admit it really wasn't that hard to pick him him out of the crowd  Neuroscientists announce that they have developed a retinal implant that restores vision in blind mice. The next logical step is to see how they run  People who stutter show abnormal brain activity when reading, listening, and being tortured by Kevin Kline

Showbiz:  Courtney Love looks great after sex, presumably while the bag is still on  Skyline producers respond to critics. However, their response is entirely derivative and has a lot in common with comments made by producers of Independence Day  Jessica Simpson celebrates engagement with pizza. Be here tomorrow when Jessica Simpson celebrates the newspaper's arrival with pizza

Politics:  Tea Party to those politicians it helped get elected: We're watching you. Seriously. We don't have jobs and we never exercise and we keep portable televisions on our Rascals. Watching you is all we do, so be scared  Glenn Beck's solution to airline security: everyone bring their guns on board. Auric Goldfinger unavailable for comment  Cheney's gaunt appearance is from summer hospital stay, not from overusing the dark side of the force

Music:  Jimmy Eat World tours UK in support of their comeback album. "We can't wait for our fans [sic] to hear it"  Aaron Ne-eh-eh-eh-eh-ehville got maa-aa-aa-aa-arried on Saturd-eh-eh-eh-ay  Peter Gabriel joins voices backing net neutrality, will spend the next ten years crafting a finely-honed and ponderously slow statement regarding the issue

Business:  People say America doesn't produce anything more. Wrong: they still produce food, and Americans are apparently patriotic enough to eat all of it  Smith & Wesson's stock plummets on news that everyone bought up firearms in preparation for the Apocalypse back in 2009  BP says world needs new oil, complains old oil is all contaminated now with sand and fish
· · ·

Big flap over vaginal surgeries, Phil Collins' su-su-suicidal thoughts, and you never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 11/7 - 11/12
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-16 2:35:05 PM (23 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No posting this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-11-07 to Sat 2010-11-12:  Playing Mozart over mall speakers shown to cut crime. Similar experiment playing Shubert remains unfinished  Australia in a big flap over increase in vaginal surgery  Cops arrest driver who threw potato at a pedestrian who did not have her eyes peeled. Story to the left, common taters to the right  In astounding display of masochism, black man vows to fight for minority whip  Stoned Bears in Yellowstone. EVERYBODY PICNIC  Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill was sentenced to hang for defaming the prophet Muhammed  Alabama sex toy store opens drive-thru service. Most people remarked how small the Japanese cars were, how black cars weren't any bigger than white ones, and wondered why 1 in 10 tried to drive through backwards  Boeing 787 on test flight makes emergency landing in Laredo TX, is immediately stripped and left up on blocks  Man purposely sets himself on fire outside doctors' clinic. Friends insist he was not depressed, claim he always lights up a room  Community Chest: Shot in groin while playing Monopoly. Pay hospital $100  Teen admits he made up story about fending off bear with pocket knife. Police became suspicious when he said he fended off a bear with a pocket knife

Sports:  Cowboys' team website vanishes as they are unable to string together three Ws  Lions sign ex-Spartan kicker, quickly fill any bottomless pits in the area  A source is a source of course, of course, and no one questions a source of course. That is, of course, unless the source is the famous ESPN

Geek:  Scientists discover that the human brain responds differently based on the proximity, direction and the size of the TARANTULA  Twin volcanoes erupt in Kamchatka. Rescuers from Indonesia expected to get there in four turns  Venom may aid muscular dystrophy, punch Peter Parker in the face

Showbiz:  "Days of Our Lives" renewed for another two years by the executive producer's evil twin brother  Rosario Dawson wants to be a Klingon. You never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth  Katy Perry barely covers her cleavage with microwave newspaper turquoise giraffe popsicle haberdasher

Politics:  I see your WWII-era Soviet anti-tank dog and raise you a terrorist dog. Your dog wants death to all wh--SQUIRREL  Obama has rare opportunity to reshape Pentagon. I'm thinking dodecahedron  Rush Limbaugh interviews George W. Bush, throws more softballs than the Lesbian World Series

Music:  Michael Jackson's children recall their father fondledly  Phil Collins admits having su-su-suicidal thoughts  Jack White will reteam with Meg White's breasts and record a new White Stripes record

Business:  Rolls Royce shares plummet like a Qantas A380  Money concerns had no role in the Deepwater Horizon disaster. BP was far too busy thinking about safety, the environment, clean energy, and sea turtles to even *think* about money. So are we done here, or what?  French company introduces lingerie held together with magnets. Reaction has been both positive and negative
· · ·

New Fark mobile site and update on April 1st Vegas World Fark Party
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-11 1:02:04 PM (238 comments) | Permalink

New Mobile site

Sup yall. Quick update on a site change you may not otherwise be aware of: we've relaunched the mobile version of our site. Right now going to on your phone gives you the option to view the mobile site. In a couple weeks we'll be making the new mobile site the default option and redirect mobile phones to it automatically HOWEVER there will always be an option to change this back and view the full site by default (if you're like me and teeny tiny text doesn't bother you any).

Mobile comments still go to the regular comments pages for now. That'll change soon too, problem is we got sidetracked over the past couple of weeks so it's rolling out slower than the main part of the mobile site. Actually what really happened is Joe drank an entire bottle of Woodford again and lost about a week of work in the process. It happens.

Fark Vegas

Also a quick update on the World Vegas Fark Party Apr 1-3: we've got a team working on a schedule, we might even have an organized set of events covering mostly evening of the 1st and all day of the 2nd. Worst case if it all falls through we'll get together at a bar Saturday evening (Apr 2nd), so feel confident enough to book your flights if you like. I'm probably getting there at least Thursday evening and staying through Monday, for example. We're also seeking to get a block of hotel rooms, still working on that one. If you can't wait try to book somewhere on The Strip at or south of the Mirage (there are some deals to be had north of there but it'll require a cab ride anytime you wanna go anywhere). I know a lot of folks are planning to have a lot of side-group get-togethers and that's great, just keep plans loose and we'll figure it all out here shortly.

If you have any great ideas for events etc feel free to email me, drew[nospam-﹫-backwards]kraf*co­m
· · ·

Sasha Grey double-penetrating movie markets, big roamin' numerals, and Brazilians waxing ecstatic over their new female president: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/31 - 11/6
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-09 2:44:27 PM (24 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-31 to Sat 2010-11-06:  Guy dies from caffeine overdose at party. Friends searching for replacement cocktail shaker  For the third time in a little over a year, a hotel at Disneyland has been evacuated because of a fire sparked by a pizza oven. Good news, nobody has been hurt because it's a small fire after all  80-year old man has run at least a mile a day, every day since 1974. Unfortunately, he's now 39,000 miles from home  Shooting at the Marine Corps is one thing. But a Coast Guard recruiting center? That's like picking on the wheelchair kid in PE class, man  Campers mauled by bear lose lawsuit. It was probably because bears have no money  Nebraska teenager conveniently dressed as a breathalyzer pulled over for drunk driving, asked to blow himself  Qantas Airbus A380 "sheds parts" before making an emergency landing in Indonesia, where the survivors will be covered in volcanic ash and washed away by a tsunami  'Hiccup girl' lawyer explores possible brain disorder defense, but advises client not to hold her breath  You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier  Meet the woman suffering from extreme narcolepsy, who falls asleep whenever she laughs. Doctors are prescribing a Two And a Half Men box-set  Des Plaines teenager killed in a hit-and-run. Witnesses say the driver was wearing a white suit but could not tell if he had any distinguishing marks or tattoos

Sports:  San Francisco City 24-16 Denver United in brilliant footie set-to as gormless Wembley tossers get bladdered watching Yanks in odd kit all at sixes and sevens in near-as-makes-no-difference codswallop  Favre takes one on on the chin. No word if Jenn Sterger has photos of this yet  Mets clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels is under investigation for gambling on baseball, as if betting on the Mets to lose was really gambling

Geek:  Scottish Gaelic in danger of dying out as most Scots prefer to be incomprehensible in English  Google releases new module to auto-tune your webserver, debuts at #1 on Billboard Top 100  We're robots on the moon, We carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales. So we tell tall tales. And sing our whaling tune

Showbiz:  Wh__l of Fortun_ announc_r Charli_ O'Donn_ll d_ad at ag_ 78  Sasha Grey handed job in new Danny Trejo film. Hopes to double penetrate the NC-17 and mainstream markets by sneaking in the backdoor  Contestant on "The Bachelorette" found dead, presumably of shame

Politics:  Brazilians wax ecstatic over their first female President  Prop 19 puffs, puffs, doesn't pass  Nevadans decide Angle too obtuse

Music:  Ricky Martin says he cried like a baby when he came out. You got to use lube back there, dude  Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block to tour together. Nine job openings now available at Kinko's  Sharon Osbourne will only have sex with the lights off. This explains Ozzy's fear of the dark

Business:  Verizon Wireless sends man $17,500 wireless bill. Those are some big roamin' numerals  How is Freddie Mac doing so far this year? Put it this way, if Freddie Mac were you or me, he'd be blowing guys under the bridge for $5  Starbucks sees profit go from tall to venti
· · ·

Final thoughts on the Jon Stewart/Reddit issue, Comedy Central is not The Daily Show, and why Legacy Media and New Media need a new perspective on each other
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-04 3:26:05 PM (809 comments) | Permalink

Watching this whole Stewart/Colbert/Reddit thing play out this week has been like watching a game of telephone. Except instead of the message traveling in a linear fashion, it expands out in all directions at once. Some folks chose to concentrate on less important parts of my main issue - which was how Alexis was treated.

The primary issue was I felt like a friend of mine was done wrong, and I felt the need to take up for him. Everything else I said in my previous blog entry was evidence for my argument about what happened (because it wasn't entirely clear what happened), not my motivations for doing it.

Some folks think that I'm overreacting, seeing something that isn't there. To that I say: maybe. Or to put it another way, finding out that it was just some oversight on the part of Stewart and Colbert is pretty much the best case outcome here, and honestly I'd prefer that be what really happened.

In the past few days there were a couple things of note:

Colbert turned up a stack of papers during Indecision with the Reddit mascot clearly written on the bottom. Which was way cool, hilarous, and I'm pretty sure we can all agree on what that means.

Jon Stewart, when asked by Chris Wallace if Fox News contributed to the country's dismal outlook after 2008, said "it didn't hoit" in the same tone he used when talking to Alexis discussion Reddit/The Internet's contribution to the rally. All right, I get it.

So based on what I've heard both publicly and privately, I'm leaning toward viewing the incident as an accident and willing to leave it at that and drop the issue. I'm sure some people will call this backpedaling, it's also known as learning.

It's all odds and ends from here on out, I'm putting them on paper because I can just refer people who email me to this blog entry for clarification. It breaks down as follows (not necessairly in this order:
- Comedy Central is not The Daily Show, and wasn't involved
- Reddit Inc wasn't involved
- Legacy Media should rethink how it views the greater Internet as a whole

- Comedy Central is not The Daily Show. The mistake was mine, Comedy Central doesn't tell The Daily Show what to do.

- Am I'm butthurt about not getting mentioned on the Daily Show? After 10 years, yes I am. Do they owe me? No. Is it common courtesy to do it once in awhile? Yes. Is that what this is all about then? No.

- Fark as a community is against me on this. No. The majority of them don't care about this one way or the other. I got more freakout response from posting an offhand comment saying we're thinking of adding threaded comments to Fark than anything else I said in my blog entry on Monday. And if that wigs you out too, don't worry because I forgot to add "and it will be an option you can turn off if you don't like it". I was glad though that people freaked out more about the issue of threaded comments because it put the rest of the complaints into a different perspective.

- Am I attempting to make myself an unappointed spokesman for the entire Internet? No, the point I was trying to make was that the Internet, and Reddit in particular, can and do have a much greater impact on Legacy Media than LM wants to acknowledge. If LM disregards online contribution, the natural course of events will result in negative backlash. I'm not saying I will cause it to happen (and as it turns out I can't - online communities will only do what they want). I'm saying it will happen of its own accord like a force of nature.

There's a greater Internet issue here: Legacy Media doesn't consider the Internet to be of consequence to their day to day operation, but yet they rely heavily on it for source material. Anyone who has a friend who is a regular blogger can provide many examples of times their material was used by a LM website or TV show without attribution. It happens all the time, and it happens in the other direction as well: some bloggers over-rely on LM for source material without attribution - or worse, they oversummarize while giving attribution which results in little to no outbound traffic to the LM website. How the hell do we start that conversation exactly? All the discussions about this go in one direction, it's either LM railing about blogs ripping them off or it's blogs railing about LM ripping them off. Surely there is some middle ground there somewhere. Seems to me like a dialogue would be a good idea. I'd offer suggestions as to how, but this is outside of my area of expertise (assuming I have one, other than sounding like I know what I'm talking about).

One of the root causes of this two-way resentment is that for some reason, just about everyone (both Legacy Media and New Media) doesn't seem to understand that heavy attribution/linking to other sites helps everyone grow. Even when similar sites with similar subject matter link to each other on a regular basis they will eventually gain each other's audience. The fastest way to gain an audience is to share it out between sites, because people don't remove bookmarks when they find a new site they like - they add a new bookmark to their list.

When this whole mess started Monday, it turns out that somehow a bunch of Farkers had never heard of Reddit. A few whiners taunted me that I was in trouble now because now these Farkers were going to read Reddit. To which I say: great, I hope they do. Reddit is a great site, everyone should go check it out, add it to your daily reading list - right above or below Fark. Discovering Reddit is not going to cause people to leave Fark, tons of people read both sites. And vice-versa.

- Isn't this is a Reddit issue not a Drew issue? Partially. I contacted the Reddit admins before posting my complaint on Monday, their stance was basically they didn't want to get dragged into a pissing match with Colbert/Stewart but that my opinion was my opinion and I was welcome to it. In other words, the opinions of Drew Curtis do not reflect the opinions of Reddit etc and so on. They're not involved in the slightest. Why did I go to bat for them? A believed a friend of mine was done wrong while representing Reddit's greater community. Plus Fark and Reddit's admins partner on a number of issues most people wouldn't be aware of. Alexis asked me for help structuring the Reddit Gold subscription model, for example. At any rate, this is getting seriously Inside Baseball, so I'll close this out by saying Reddit has nothing to do with me going off, it was all me. Just in case anyone doubted that.

And that's that.

PS Would someone please post the "Not this shiat again" guy in the thread so we can get that over with right off the bat? Thanks I appreciate it.
· · ·

A white NaCl rollercoaster ride, facing D-10tion, and getting bit by a snake between holes: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/24 - 10/30
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-02 3:08:06 PM (71 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable

No (additional) posting from Drew today, although I expect he'll be posting again later this week.

In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-24 to Sat 2010-10-30:  Plane forced to land after hamster discovered in gere  Man drinks himself to death after winning $14 million on the lottery. Goodnight, money fan  Freighter hauling salt runs aground. Witnesses call the incident a white NaCl rollercoaster ride  The porn industry has a plan to stop online piracy by 2012. Clearly this is what the Mayans were talking about  Women who lack sex drive have different brains, wedding rings  When they left forceps in their abdomen I said nothing. Then they left a drill bit inside my skull, and spork Wednesday with them hamster off yours gradually Heineken?  Man who died in Notre Dame tower collapse not identified, but officials say his face rings a bell  Police report crazy person with gun on loose at Texas A&M, which doesn't narrow it down much  Schoolchildren forced to roll "sexual harassment dice" for punishments way worse than D10-tion  Man's foot partially severed in industrial accident, says he hops for a full recovery  Airline employee investigated for "Mile high club" sex with a passenger, for which the correct legal term is "being awesome"

Sports:  Philadelphia fans attempted to slip laxatives to Giants players during the NLCS. Should have given them to the Phillies instead, they could have used the runs  Golfer Melissa Reid bitten by snake between holes. Sounds like she should have tightened up her stance a little  Cliff Lee loses lead, game, 20 million dollars off Yankees' offer

Geek:  Google accounts for 6.4 percent of internet traffic. Subby surprised that internet porn has slipped to less than 94%  Introducing a $300 screw that isn't associated with the U.S. military or Eliot Spitzer  The first e-mail was sent 41 years ago today. Recipient still waiting for that money to clear out of Nigeria

Showbiz:  Renowned New Yorker cartoonist Leo Cullum has died. Like the work of any New Yorker cartoonist, this is no laughing matter  Ellen cured Portia de Rossi's fear of eating out  Ginny Sacrimoni sleeps with the fishes

Politics: activist viciously attacks Rand Paul supporter's foot with her head  New York Times calls Bill Clinton "an arbiter of international fine dining." Monica Lewinsky calls all her ex-boyfriends to gloat  "A Politician Is Like a Human Arcade." Well, yeah -- you stick money in it and get nothing in return but a brief, unrealistic show

Music:  At auction of Johnny Cash memorabilia you can buy one of his stage costumes in any color you want, so long as it's black  Wu Tang Clan announce US tour in December, plan to play their hits and offer sound financial advice  The Royal Mint announces that John Lennon will appear on currency. If you need change for the £5 coin, just ask Yoko Ono. She can break it

Business:  Why is BMW hiring 1,000 auto workers in the US? Because it can pay them half what it pays a German worker. Congratulations, America, you're Germany's India  Group finds holes in Cheerios ad campaign  Severely disappointing both dieters and Scrabble players alike, the FDA decides not to approve the once-promising diet drug Qnexa
· · ·

Jon Stewart to Reddit: you don't matter
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-01 2:41:26 PM, edited 2010-11-01 4:13:48 PM (5856 comments) | Permalink

Backstory: Reddit has been pushing support for the Stewart/Colbert rally since its inception, possibly since before its inception.

At the Rally For Sanity press conference on Saturday, Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit, asked Stewart and Colbert a question: what role did the Internet play in convincing you to hold this rally? The response: "it didn't hurt."

Question at around 1:40 re store-sanity-press-conference/

Did you hear that Reddit? All that work you put into getting the word out, organizing meetups, and convincing people to go "didn't hurt". All that initial support in getting the ball rolling on this rally a few months back was great, but it wasn't a factor. Thanks for your meaningless and futile support that Comedy Central really didn't need at the end of the day to get a surprise crowd of 250,000 people to the rally. Did you hear that Internet? You had no role in this either, it was all Comedy Central all the way.

Colbert doesn't get a pass on this either, his "thanks Reddit for raising half a million dollars for our charity but it didn't affect attendence one way or the other" comment is a backhanded compliment at best.

And to say this all live, in a press conference, to the co-founder of a community of millions that did everything in its power to get the word out past its own readers to the greater internet, that is flat out disrespectful and wrong. Alexis is a friend of mine, and he's a super nice guy. He would never dream of saying this to Jon Stewart but I will: you owe Alexis an apology and you owe Reddit an apology. I'll stop short at saying you owe The Internet an apology because honestly I think The Internet owes us all an apology for a number of things, Justin Bieber notwithstanding.

In the clip you'll notice Stewart uses part of his answer to Alexis' question to make the point that Comedy Central had the idea for this rally "months" before Reddit did. Which is really odd considering Alexis didn't ask or imply that Reddit gave Comedy Central the idea for the rally in the first place. Sounds like someone feels a litle guilty about something. Who thought of it first doesn't matter, it is impossible to deny that Reddit's actions encouraged Comedy Central to actually pull the trigger. Except Stewart did, right to Alexis Ohanian's face, in a live press conference.

Why am I so bent about this? First and foremost, because a friend of mine got smacked down on live TV by a guy he helped, and I can't stand by and do nothing about it without at least saying something. But also because Daily Show writers have been doing essentially the same thing to me, every single day for the past 10 years. They use Fark every day to source material, and haven't mentioned Fark on air even one single time. It's the same attitude toward Reddit: "sure doesn't hurt, but not a significant contribution." Thanks to Fark, your writers don't have to go far to fill your shows up with material for you to use. Every writer I've met thanks me vociferously for Fark and tells me how much easier it makes their jobs. Sure that's not worth a daily mention, but I would think at least one in the last 10 years. It has yet to happen. I've learned to live with it, but Alexis is my friend and he does not deserve this kind of treatment. Especially considering the effort Reddit put into promoting the rally.

I'm not implying they owe Reddit or Fark any credit for the success of the Rally, that's definitely not the case. Comedy Central did the bulk of the work, that can't be disputed. This is about common courtesy. If someone does you a favor, a thank you is a kind and appropriate response. In Reddit's case, "it doesn't hurt" is a slap in the face. It discounts all the effort they went through - and they went through a lot. And they weren't the only ones, several other large web communities pitched in as well.

Here's my proposal: Jon Stewart should apologize for discounting the impact that Reddit and other Internet communities had on this rally, or next time The Internet should remember Comedy Central thinks they don't count and should show them what happens when "The Internet" actively works to convince people to not attend. Because if Reddit had put similar effort into convincing people not to attend, the crowd size would have been far smaller than anticipated. And if you don't believe me, let's see how it goes next time if Stewart makes the wrong decision.

PS: pretty sure this post will guarantee that I and/or Fark never get a mention on The Daily Show but that wasn't happening anyhow.
· · ·

New email notification options for you, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/17 - 10/23
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-26 2:15:13 PM (56 comments) | Permalink

We're launching some new stuff today: new email notifications.

For years now, we've had an option for emailing NewsFlash links to people who want to be the first in their office to know what the hell is going on -- since we watch all the other news sites so you don't have to.

A few months back, we extended this and added an option for emailing you when any links you submit get greenlit for Fark's main page or any tabs.

Today, we're adding a few more options:

- Notifications of new Fark Parties submitted nearby
- Notifications of comments that are replies to yours, or quote you, mention you, etc
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you've posted in lately
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you're watching

We wrote up an FAQ entry about it, explaining in a lot more detail how it all works and where to find it. But briefly, to enable or disable these email notifications, go to your MyFark profile, and at the very top of your profile, entering your password and click "Edit". From there, scroll down to the "Subscriptions section", which is right below Contacts and right above Bio.

Some of the new comment notifications are available directly under the comment posting box as well, for convenience. Also, there are unsubscribe links at the bottom of every single email, so you can just click on those if you want to shut 'em off at any time without having to go back to your profile.

We plan on turning the notifications of replies to your own comments on by default, and everything else off by default.

For the new Fark Party notifications, there are a few prerequisites:

- You have to set your home location in your profile. All we need is your zip code or postal code -- nothing more specific.
- The party has to be submitted to the Fark Party database at -- which we give a link to on the normal link submission page if you submit a party there.

TotalFarkers got a head start on this about two weeks ago, and now we're releasing it for everyone else. For a shameless plug, this, and another new mobile-related feature we're previewing for them today, is one of the perks of joining TotalFark. :-)

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-17 to Sat 2010-10-23:  Drunken goat sacrifice goes horribly wrong. As if it could have gone horribly right  Kid steals parents pot and turns it in at school after DARE lesson. Next week's lesson: How to handle life in foster care  Numerous health problems linked to phthalates, according to the Sylvester Cat Research Institute  Woman arrested in St. Helens shooting. Witnesses say she just blew her top  Large bag of marijuana found floating in Massachusetts river. Cops knew immediately knew it was pot since the tide was high  Old men more likely to favor legal prostitution. There goes your inheritance  Dear Fark: I never thought I'd be writing one of these headlines, but Bob Guccione is dead at 79  States with abstinence-only sex education have higher rates of teen pregnancy, while other states see a drop. You're doing it  Man caught groping woman on airplane. Authorities immediately removed him from the airplane and put a TSA uniform on him  Speaking slowly and enunciating very carefully, Ugandan Health Minister blames jiggers for 20 deaths and more than 20,000 illnesses in his country in the last few months  NASA begins planning "100 year spaceship" program aimed at settling other worlds, sleeping with green women

Sports:  Mediate scores his third eagle at Fry's Open, says he just tried to regulate, deviate, alleviate, try not to hate, love his mate, appreciate, the truth dilate, hallucinate, elevate, gravitate, liberate, designate his 9-iron as fate  A day after selling his interest in the Lakers, Magic Johnson sells 105 of his Starbucks franchises for over $100 million dollars, or about 18 venti mocha half-caff double tall soy/skim triple shot lattes  Crazed fan tackled by security after he runs onto the field at Yankee Stadium to fight A-Rod for Cameron Diaz's heart. Silly boy, if he had only waited a few more days he could have gotten A-Rod on the golf course

Geek:  Check out this Fark headline that I retweeted and liked on Facebook that got copied by Digg and posted to Reddit about social networking overload  AMD reveals their new APU chip which combines ATI graphics and AMD CPUs on one chip, and call it "Llano". If installed backwards it will undo all civilization, but otherwise pretty cool  Bread has been around for 30,000 years. Which means that the "Best of Bread" album has been around for 29,999 years

Showbiz:  "Avatar" wins Environmental Media Award. Considering how many ideas, characters, and shots were recycled from other movies, it's a fitting honor  Bruce Willis "regrets some movies." He doesn't specifically mention Hudson Hawk or Look Who's Talking Too or Color of Night or Bonfire of the Vanities or The Last Boy Scout or North or The Jackal or... you get the point  Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock, and Meryl Streep to star in new comedy tentatively titled "I Will Chew My Own Tongue Off Before I Even Remotely Consider Watching This"

Politics:  Desperately courting the pro-Kari Byron and/or geek vote, Obama to appear on an episode of "Mythbusters". Show will determine if Archimedes using a giant magnifying glasses could forge a birth certificate  Sarah Palin endorses John Raese in Pennsylvania Senate race, apparently not bothered by the fact that he's running in West Virginia  Christine O'Donnell's hair length in her "I am not a witch" commercial means A) it's shopped, B) she's wearing extensions now, or C) she's a witch

Music:  Kings of Leon, with their tight trousers, pointy shoes, sleeveless tops and earnest lyrics are one can of Aqua Net away from turning into a Bon Jovi tribute band  Adam Lambert plays Metallica's Enter Sandman. James Hetfield is rolling over in his grave, and he's not even dead yet  Celine Dion gives birth to twin boys. She'll probably give them names that ran in her family, names like "Mephisto" and "Beelzebub"

Business:  Fark-ready headline: "Seven inches is enough, RIM tells Jobs" sued by investors for lack of prophets  First Hooters restaurant to open in Tokyo - beer served in smaller cups, of course
· · ·

Colo-rectal smoking, the Gap's huge casual tee, and I'm thinking RVs: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/10 - 10/16
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-19 1:55:08 PM (20 comments) | Permalink

Not a lot to report today, so instead here's my favorite submissions about Obama being on Mythbusters in December:

- Not bad for a couple of guys who's idea for a TV show consisted of strapping a couple of rockets to a Chevy

- President Obama to appear on the Dec. 8 episode of "MythBusters." Topics to be covered include the stimulus and ObamaCare

- Obama to appear on Mythbusters, refute being a Kenyan Muslim atheist socialist Marxist space lizard

- President Obama tries to come up with ways to cut military spending, contacts Mythbusters

- Noted scientist PRESIDENT OBAMA to appear on "Mythbusters", to test out the myth of Archimedes' fabled solar ray that is said to have destroyed a Roman fleet. If successful, this solar weapon will be deployed in the 2012 election

And the one we went with:

- Desperately courting the pro-Kari Byron and/or geek vote, Obama to appear on an episode of "Mythbusters". Show will determine if Archimedes using a giant magnifying glasses could forge a birth certificate

Yes, they're all funny, that's why it's so hard to pick one.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-10 to Sat 2010-10-16:  Man's life dream is to bring dinosaurs back to Central Park. Would be fascinating, educational, and have the added benefit of taking care of problems like the homeless. And joggers  Homeless concerns in Des Moines continue to go unaddressed, just like the homeless  Six missing boaters found alive, but tragically returned to New Jersey  The Maori believe that pregnant or menstruating women should not be allowed near folks, those Maori  Indian in Indian beauty contest accused of not looking Indian enough. How? I don't understand why they have such reservations about her  Man fishes 10 hours with hook in head, says it felt just like his wedding day  CVS, with 7,100 stores, fined $75 million and forfeits $2.6 million in profit, for increasing pseudoephedrine sales by as much as 150 percent. It was my understanding that there would be no meth  Study: Colorectal cancer linked to smoking. You're doing it wrong  Five times the U.S. almost nuked itself. Phew, that was clo  Chilean miners joked about cannibalism, said the one heavyset miner that everyone shared their food rations with  Winnebago sales are up. I'm thinking RVs

Sports:  Brett Favre gets hit in the groin by a football, collapses in agony. Stop whining, Brett, it's only a little prick  The Yankees mess with Texas. This is not a repeat from 1865, 1996, 1998, or 1999  Mariners choose Wedge as next manager, citing his experience jump starting struggling teams, attacking Death Stars

Geek:  Love may be as good as a pain reliever, according to the Institute of Emotionless Bastards Who Have Never Been Dumped  Benoit Mandelbrot, the Father of Fractal Geometry, has died at 85, now exists on even more complex plane  Scientists discover molecular "switch" that may allow true sunless tanning, prevent the early death of Jersey Shore cast. Someone must stop this research

Showbiz:  David Beckham spends $100 on a sandwich. It's a good start, but his wife needs more than one  Dane Cook's half-brother sentenced to prison for stealing all the money Dane Cook made stealing material from actual comedians  CBS to develop another sitcom based on a Twitter feed as produced by Ashton Kutcher. It will be cancelled in fewer than 140 minutes

Politics:  Which former Secretary of State voted for Jimmy Carter, had connections to a prominent Black Panther, is a Led Zeppelin fan and dated NFL players? I mean, BESIDES James Baker?  Richard Blumenthal appears to be pulling away from Linda McMahon in the CT senate race. Yeah, he's up now, but she'll just hit him with a steel chair while the ref is distracted and win anyway  Rep. Rahall (D-im), "Climate change - to deny it like...claiming Santa Claus doesn't exist." Dude, you're not helping

Music:  Sufjan Stevens-inspired ballet coming to New York. I'm sure that it will be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very mellow  Lady Gaga fears a "John Lennon-style death," doesn't realize she's Yoko  Fail: MTV accidentally put "The Black Eyed Peas" on the VMA the Black Keys won, proving you can't escape the Black Eyed Peas even when you listen to good music

Business:  Lead smelter settles with EPA over pollution violations, admits those who smelt it dealt it  The Gap finally admits that their new logo design was a huge casual tee  Wine in New Zealand is now cheaper than water. That definitely explains why the residents walk around with a blanc stare
· · ·

Street value of a 500-lb drug dealer, Tusken Raiders resorting to armed robbery, and violet consequences on the Blue Danube: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/3 - 10/9
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-12 3:03:50 PM (10 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No post from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-03 to Sat 2010-10-09:  Test-tube baby pioneer Robert Edwards wins Nobel for medicine, an achievement nobody saw coming  Smoking Chimp finally dies. Why nobody put him out is still unknown  In an interesting turn of events, the Emancipation Proclamation is being sold at auction  Hungary declares state of emergency as red sludge heads for the blue Danube threatening violet consequences  Farmer forced to burn crops after plane dumps human waste across 25 acres of land. The only thing he could salvage was the corn  Hearse kills man. Well, THAT'S convenient  Police arrest 500-pound drug dealer, estimate his street value at well over $1,000,000  Tusken Raiders rob a pub at gunpoint. Authorities fear that they'll be back and in greater numbers  Man leaves fiancée and nephew to feed dogs. Dogs report the nephew was tender, but the fiancée was a little gamey  Businessman chokes to death during S&M session. Victim's identity was confirmed using collar ID  Pygmy goats get high grazing on magic mushrooms. Won't somebody think of the kids?

Sports:  Titan's Chuck Cecil fined $10,000 for each finger not showing when he waved to the ref  ESPN producer arrested while masturbating at neighbor's window. Apparently she had just hung a new LeBron poster on the wall  Former Bears QB Kyle Orton on pace to break the all-time single-season passing yards record. Current Bears QB Jay Cutler on pace to remove his socks so he can count to twenty

Geek:  Three senior members at DC Comics may leave the company. TO BE CONTINUED  Scientists discover yet another 200 new species in remote PNG. It's amazing how much stuff can be compressed into such a small size  The co-founder of Facebook donates $100,000 in support of legalizing marijuana in California. 420 people like this

Showbiz:  IN A WORLD where voiceover artists lend their talents to ads and movie trailers, ONE VETERAN ANNOUNCER will go silent and collaborate with Don LaFontaine in the afterlife. "Art Gilmore: Dead at 98" - this time, it's for REAL  Al Pacino to play Phil Spector in a movie. It took every fiber of my being to refrain from posting this with a NewsFlash tag  CHiPS star caught up in a Ponchi scheme

Politics:  Tea Party leader backs Democrat. Moon destroyed by rogue asteroid. Only one of these stories is true  1.87 m tall Obama, who is the 44rd President and has been President for 623 days, 23 hours, 27 minutes and 32 seconds, makes the first appointment of someone with autism  Sharron Angle says that miltant terrorists have taken over US cities in Michigan and imposed sharia law there. Apparently she's confusing Detroit and Afghanistan, which, admittedly, is an easy mistake to make

Music:  LA City Council declares October 1 "John Lennon Day". Fans pleased, as it took 5-6 shots at getting the bill passed  Billy Idol to work on an autobiography. He'll be writing by himself - OH OH - writing by himself  Eminem says he doesn't use profanity in front of his children. Only yours

Business:  Microsoft may issue tablets by Christmas. No word yet on whether they'll contain potassium cyanide or saxitoxin  Michigan company recall alfalfa. Buckwheat and Farina still otay  Paul Volcker warns of long-term high unemployment because we're not actually fixing anything in the economy. President Reagan should really listen to this dude
· · ·

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