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Big flap over vaginal surgeries, Phil Collins' su-su-suicidal thoughts, and you never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 11/7 - 11/12
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-16 2:35:05 PM (24 comments) | Permalink
No posting this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-11-07 to Sat 2010-11-12:
Playing Mozart over mall speakers shown to cut crime. Similar experiment playing Shubert remains unfinished
Australia in a big flap over increase in vaginal surgery
Cops arrest driver who threw potato at a pedestrian who did not have her eyes peeled. Story to the left, common taters to the right
In astounding display of masochism, black man vows to fight for minority whip
Stoned Bears in Yellowstone. EVERYBODY PICNIC
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill was sentenced to hang for defaming the prophet Muhammed
Alabama sex toy store opens drive-thru service. Most people remarked how small the Japanese cars were, how black cars weren't any bigger than white ones, and wondered why 1 in 10 tried to drive through backwards
Boeing 787 on test flight makes emergency landing in Laredo TX, is immediately stripped and left up on blocks
Man purposely sets himself on fire outside doctors' clinic. Friends insist he was not depressed, claim he always lights up a room
Community Chest: Shot in groin while playing Monopoly. Pay hospital $100
Teen admits he made up story about fending off bear with pocket knife. Police became suspicious when he said he fended off a bear with a pocket knife
Cowboys' team website vanishes as they are unable to string together three Ws
Lions sign ex-Spartan kicker, quickly fill any bottomless pits in the area
A source is a source of course, of course, and no one questions a source of course. That is, of course, unless the source is the famous ESPN
Scientists discover that the human brain responds differently based on the proximity, direction and the size of the TARANTULA
Twin volcanoes erupt in Kamchatka. Rescuers from Indonesia expected to get there in four turns
Venom may aid muscular dystrophy, punch Peter Parker in the face
"Days of Our Lives" renewed for another two years by the executive producer's evil twin brother
Rosario Dawson wants to be a Klingon. You never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth
Katy Perry barely covers her cleavage with microwave newspaper turquoise giraffe popsicle haberdasher
I see your WWII-era Soviet anti-tank dog and raise you a terrorist dog. Your dog wants death to all wh--SQUIRREL
Obama has rare opportunity to reshape Pentagon. I'm thinking dodecahedron
Rush Limbaugh interviews George W. Bush, throws more softballs than the Lesbian World Series
Michael Jackson's children recall their father fondledly
Phil Collins admits having su-su-suicidal thoughts
Jack White will reteam with Meg White's breasts and record a new White Stripes record
Rolls Royce shares plummet like a Qantas A380
Money concerns had no role in the Deepwater Horizon disaster. BP was far too busy thinking about safety, the environment, clean energy, and sea turtles to even *think* about money. So are we done here, or what?
French company introduces lingerie held together with magnets. Reaction has been both positive and negative
· · ·
New Fark mobile site and update on April 1st Vegas World Fark Party
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-11 1:02:04 PM (238 comments) | Permalink
New Mobile site
Sup yall. Quick update on a site change you may not otherwise be aware of: we've relaunched the mobile version of our site. Right now going to www.fark.com on your phone gives you the option to view the mobile site. In a couple weeks we'll be making the new mobile site the default option and redirect mobile phones to it automatically HOWEVER there will always be an option to change this back and view the full site by default (if you're like me and teeny tiny text doesn't bother you any).
Mobile comments still go to the regular comments pages for now. That'll change soon too, problem is we got sidetracked over the past couple of weeks so it's rolling out slower than the main part of the mobile site. Actually what really happened is Joe drank an entire bottle of Woodford again and lost about a week of work in the process. It happens.
Also a quick update on the World Vegas Fark Party Apr 1-3: we've got a team working on a schedule, we might even have an organized set of events covering mostly evening of the 1st and all day of the 2nd. Worst case if it all falls through we'll get together at a bar Saturday evening (Apr 2nd), so feel confident enough to book your flights if you like. I'm probably getting there at least Thursday evening and staying through Monday, for example. We're also seeking to get a block of hotel rooms, still working on that one. If you can't wait try to book somewhere on The Strip at or south of the Mirage (there are some deals to be had north of there but it'll require a cab ride anytime you wanna go anywhere). I know a lot of folks are planning to have a lot of side-group get-togethers and that's great, just keep plans loose and we'll figure it all out here shortly.
If you have any great ideas for events etc feel free to email me, drewkrafcom
· · ·
Sasha Grey double-penetrating movie markets, big roamin' numerals, and Brazilians waxing ecstatic over their new female president: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/31 - 11/6
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-09 2:44:27 PM (24 comments) | Permalink
No posting from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-31 to Sat 2010-11-06:
Guy dies from caffeine overdose at party. Friends searching for replacement cocktail shaker
For the third time in a little over a year, a hotel at Disneyland has been evacuated because of a fire sparked by a pizza oven. Good news, nobody has been hurt because it's a small fire after all
80-year old man has run at least a mile a day, every day since 1974. Unfortunately, he's now 39,000 miles from home
Shooting at the Marine Corps is one thing. But a Coast Guard recruiting center? That's like picking on the wheelchair kid in PE class, man
Campers mauled by bear lose lawsuit. It was probably because bears have no money
Nebraska teenager conveniently dressed as a breathalyzer pulled over for drunk driving, asked to blow himself
Qantas Airbus A380 "sheds parts" before making an emergency landing in Indonesia, where the survivors will be covered in volcanic ash and washed away by a tsunami
'Hiccup girl' lawyer explores possible brain disorder defense, but advises client not to hold her breath
You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier
Meet the woman suffering from extreme narcolepsy, who falls asleep whenever she laughs. Doctors are prescribing a Two And a Half Men box-set
Des Plaines teenager killed in a hit-and-run. Witnesses say the driver was wearing a white suit but could not tell if he had any distinguishing marks or tattoos
San Francisco City 24-16 Denver United in brilliant footie set-to as gormless Wembley tossers get bladdered watching Yanks in odd kit all at sixes and sevens in near-as-makes-no-difference codswallop
Favre takes one on on the chin. No word if Jenn Sterger has photos of this yet
Mets clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels is under investigation for gambling on baseball, as if betting on the Mets to lose was really gambling
Scottish Gaelic in danger of dying out as most Scots prefer to be incomprehensible in English
Google releases new module to auto-tune your webserver, debuts at #1 on Billboard Top 100
We're robots on the moon, We carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales. So we tell tall tales. And sing our whaling tune
Wh__l of Fortun_ announc_r Charli_ O'Donn_ll d_ad at ag_ 78
Sasha Grey handed job in new Danny Trejo film. Hopes to double penetrate the NC-17 and mainstream markets by sneaking in the backdoor
Contestant on "The Bachelorette" found dead, presumably of shame
Brazilians wax ecstatic over their first female President
Prop 19 puffs, puffs, doesn't pass
Nevadans decide Angle too obtuse
Ricky Martin says he cried like a baby when he came out. You got to use lube back there, dude
Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block to tour together. Nine job openings now available at Kinko's
Sharon Osbourne will only have sex with the lights off. This explains Ozzy's fear of the dark
Verizon Wireless sends man $17,500 wireless bill. Those are some big roamin' numerals
How is Freddie Mac doing so far this year? Put it this way, if Freddie Mac were you or me, he'd be blowing guys under the bridge for $5
Starbucks sees profit go from tall to venti
· · ·
Final thoughts on the Jon Stewart/Reddit issue, Comedy Central is not The Daily Show, and why Legacy Media and New Media need a new perspective on each other
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-04 3:26:05 PM (809 comments) | Permalink
Watching this whole Stewart/Colbert/Reddit thing play out this week has been like watching a game of telephone. Except instead of the message traveling in a linear fashion, it expands out in all directions at once. Some folks chose to concentrate on less important parts of my main issue - which was how Alexis was treated.
The primary issue was I felt like a friend of mine was done wrong, and I felt the need to take up for him. Everything else I said in my previous blog entry was evidence for my argument about what happened (because it wasn't entirely clear what happened), not my motivations for doing it.
Some folks think that I'm overreacting, seeing something that isn't there. To that I say: maybe. Or to put it another way, finding out that it was just some oversight on the part of Stewart and Colbert is pretty much the best case outcome here, and honestly I'd prefer that be what really happened.
In the past few days there were a couple things of note:
Colbert turned up a stack of papers during Indecision with the Reddit mascot clearly written on the bottom. Which was way cool, hilarous, and I'm pretty sure we can all agree on what that means.
Jon Stewart, when asked by Chris Wallace if Fox News contributed to the country's dismal outlook after 2008, said "it didn't hoit" in the same tone he used when talking to Alexis discussion Reddit/The Internet's contribution to the rally. All right, I get it.
So based on what I've heard both publicly and privately, I'm leaning toward viewing the incident as an accident and willing to leave it at that and drop the issue. I'm sure some people will call this backpedaling, it's also known as learning.
It's all odds and ends from here on out, I'm putting them on paper because I can just refer people who email me to this blog entry for clarification. It breaks down as follows (not necessairly in this order:
- Comedy Central is not The Daily Show, and wasn't involved
- Reddit Inc wasn't involved
- Legacy Media should rethink how it views the greater Internet as a whole
- Comedy Central is not The Daily Show. The mistake was mine, Comedy Central doesn't tell The Daily Show what to do.
- Am I'm butthurt about not getting mentioned on the Daily Show? After 10 years, yes I am. Do they owe me? No. Is it common courtesy to do it once in awhile? Yes. Is that what this is all about then? No.
- Fark as a community is against me on this. No. The majority of them don't care about this one way or the other. I got more freakout response from posting an offhand comment saying we're thinking of adding threaded comments to Fark than anything else I said in my blog entry on Monday. And if that wigs you out too, don't worry because I forgot to add "and it will be an option you can turn off if you don't like it". I was glad though that people freaked out more about the issue of threaded comments because it put the rest of the complaints into a different perspective.
- Am I attempting to make myself an unappointed spokesman for the entire Internet? No, the point I was trying to make was that the Internet, and Reddit in particular, can and do have a much greater impact on Legacy Media than LM wants to acknowledge. If LM disregards online contribution, the natural course of events will result in negative backlash. I'm not saying I will cause it to happen (and as it turns out I can't - online communities will only do what they want). I'm saying it will happen of its own accord like a force of nature.
There's a greater Internet issue here: Legacy Media doesn't consider the Internet to be of consequence to their day to day operation, but yet they rely heavily on it for source material. Anyone who has a friend who is a regular blogger can provide many examples of times their material was used by a LM website or TV show without attribution. It happens all the time, and it happens in the other direction as well: some bloggers over-rely on LM for source material without attribution - or worse, they oversummarize while giving attribution which results in little to no outbound traffic to the LM website. How the hell do we start that conversation exactly? All the discussions about this go in one direction, it's either LM railing about blogs ripping them off or it's blogs railing about LM ripping them off. Surely there is some middle ground there somewhere. Seems to me like a dialogue would be a good idea. I'd offer suggestions as to how, but this is outside of my area of expertise (assuming I have one, other than sounding like I know what I'm talking about).
One of the root causes of this two-way resentment is that for some reason, just about everyone (both Legacy Media and New Media) doesn't seem to understand that heavy attribution/linking to other sites helps everyone grow. Even when similar sites with similar subject matter link to each other on a regular basis they will eventually gain each other's audience. The fastest way to gain an audience is to share it out between sites, because people don't remove bookmarks when they find a new site they like - they add a new bookmark to their list.
When this whole mess started Monday, it turns out that somehow a bunch of Farkers had never heard of Reddit. A few whiners taunted me that I was in trouble now because now these Farkers were going to read Reddit. To which I say: great, I hope they do. Reddit is a great site, everyone should go check it out, add it to your daily reading list - right above or below Fark. Discovering Reddit is not going to cause people to leave Fark, tons of people read both sites. And vice-versa.
- Isn't this is a Reddit issue not a Drew issue? Partially. I contacted the Reddit admins before posting my complaint on Monday, their stance was basically they didn't want to get dragged into a pissing match with Colbert/Stewart but that my opinion was my opinion and I was welcome to it. In other words, the opinions of Drew Curtis do not reflect the opinions of Reddit etc and so on. They're not involved in the slightest. Why did I go to bat for them? A believed a friend of mine was done wrong while representing Reddit's greater community. Plus Fark and Reddit's admins partner on a number of issues most people wouldn't be aware of. Alexis asked me for help structuring the Reddit Gold subscription model, for example. At any rate, this is getting seriously Inside Baseball, so I'll close this out by saying Reddit has nothing to do with me going off, it was all me. Just in case anyone doubted that.
And that's that.
PS Would someone please post the "Not this shiat again" guy in the thread so we can get that over with right off the bat? Thanks I appreciate it.
· · ·
A white NaCl rollercoaster ride, facing D-10tion, and getting bit by a snake between holes: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/24 - 10/30
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-02 3:08:06 PM (71 comments) | Permalink
No (additional) posting from Drew today, although I expect he'll be posting again later this week.
In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-24 to Sat 2010-10-30:
Plane forced to land after hamster discovered in gere
Man drinks himself to death after winning $14 million on the lottery. Goodnight, money fan
Freighter hauling salt runs aground. Witnesses call the incident a white NaCl rollercoaster ride
The porn industry has a plan to stop online piracy by 2012. Clearly this is what the Mayans were talking about
Women who lack sex drive have different brains, wedding rings
When they left forceps in their abdomen I said nothing. Then they left a drill bit inside my skull, and spork Wednesday with them hamster off yours gradually Heineken?
Man who died in Notre Dame tower collapse not identified, but officials say his face rings a bell
Police report crazy person with gun on loose at Texas A&M, which doesn't narrow it down much
Schoolchildren forced to roll "sexual harassment dice" for punishments way worse than D10-tion
Man's foot partially severed in industrial accident, says he hops for a full recovery
Airline employee investigated for "Mile high club" sex with a passenger, for which the correct legal term is "being awesome"
Philadelphia fans attempted to slip laxatives to Giants players during the NLCS. Should have given them to the Phillies instead, they could have used the runs
Golfer Melissa Reid bitten by snake between holes. Sounds like she should have tightened up her stance a little
Cliff Lee loses lead, game, 20 million dollars off Yankees' offer
Google accounts for 6.4 percent of internet traffic. Subby surprised that internet porn has slipped to less than 94%
Introducing a $300 screw that isn't associated with the U.S. military or Eliot Spitzer
The first e-mail was sent 41 years ago today. Recipient still waiting for that money to clear out of Nigeria
Renowned New Yorker cartoonist Leo Cullum has died. Like the work of any New Yorker cartoonist, this is no laughing matter
Ellen cured Portia de Rossi's fear of eating out
Ginny Sacrimoni sleeps with the fishes
MoveOn.org activist viciously attacks Rand Paul supporter's foot with her head
New York Times calls Bill Clinton "an arbiter of international fine dining." Monica Lewinsky calls all her ex-boyfriends to gloat
"A Politician Is Like a Human Arcade." Well, yeah -- you stick money in it and get nothing in return but a brief, unrealistic show
At auction of Johnny Cash memorabilia you can buy one of his stage costumes in any color you want, so long as it's black
Wu Tang Clan announce US tour in December, plan to play their hits and offer sound financial advice
The Royal Mint announces that John Lennon will appear on currency. If you need change for the £5 coin, just ask Yoko Ono. She can break it
Why is BMW hiring 1,000 auto workers in the US? Because it can pay them half what it pays a German worker. Congratulations, America, you're Germany's India
Group finds holes in Cheerios ad campaign
Severely disappointing both dieters and Scrabble players alike, the FDA decides not to approve the once-promising diet drug Qnexa
· · ·
Jon Stewart to Reddit: you don't matter
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-01 2:41:26 PM, edited 2010-11-01 4:13:48 PM (5858 comments) | Permalink
Backstory: Reddit has been pushing support for the Stewart/Colbert rally since its inception, possibly since before its inception.
At the Rally For Sanity press conference on Saturday, Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit, asked Stewart and Colbert a question: what role did the Internet play in convincing you to hold this rally? The response: "it didn't hurt."
Question at around 1:40
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/jon-stewart-and-stephen-colbert-hold-post-rally-to- re store-sanity-press-conference/
Did you hear that Reddit? All that work you put into getting the word out, organizing meetups, and convincing people to go "didn't hurt". All that initial support in getting the ball rolling on this rally a few months back was great, but it wasn't a factor. Thanks for your meaningless and futile support that Comedy Central really didn't need at the end of the day to get a surprise crowd of 250,000 people to the rally. Did you hear that Internet? You had no role in this either, it was all Comedy Central all the way.
Colbert doesn't get a pass on this either, his "thanks Reddit for raising half a million dollars for our charity but it didn't affect attendence one way or the other" comment is a backhanded compliment at best.
And to say this all live, in a press conference, to the co-founder of a community of millions that did everything in its power to get the word out past its own readers to the greater internet, that is flat out disrespectful and wrong. Alexis is a friend of mine, and he's a super nice guy. He would never dream of saying this to Jon Stewart but I will: you owe Alexis an apology and you owe Reddit an apology. I'll stop short at saying you owe The Internet an apology because honestly I think The Internet owes us all an apology for a number of things, Justin Bieber notwithstanding.
In the clip you'll notice Stewart uses part of his answer to Alexis' question to make the point that Comedy Central had the idea for this rally "months" before Reddit did. Which is really odd considering Alexis didn't ask or imply that Reddit gave Comedy Central the idea for the rally in the first place. Sounds like someone feels a litle guilty about something. Who thought of it first doesn't matter, it is impossible to deny that Reddit's actions encouraged Comedy Central to actually pull the trigger. Except Stewart did, right to Alexis Ohanian's face, in a live press conference.
Why am I so bent about this? First and foremost, because a friend of mine got smacked down on live TV by a guy he helped, and I can't stand by and do nothing about it without at least saying something. But also because Daily Show writers have been doing essentially the same thing to me, every single day for the past 10 years. They use Fark every day to source material, and haven't mentioned Fark on air even one single time. It's the same attitude toward Reddit: "sure doesn't hurt, but not a significant contribution." Thanks to Fark, your writers don't have to go far to fill your shows up with material for you to use. Every writer I've met thanks me vociferously for Fark and tells me how much easier it makes their jobs. Sure that's not worth a daily mention, but I would think at least one in the last 10 years. It has yet to happen. I've learned to live with it, but Alexis is my friend and he does not deserve this kind of treatment. Especially considering the effort Reddit put into promoting the rally.
I'm not implying they owe Reddit or Fark any credit for the success of the Rally, that's definitely not the case. Comedy Central did the bulk of the work, that can't be disputed. This is about common courtesy. If someone does you a favor, a thank you is a kind and appropriate response. In Reddit's case, "it doesn't hurt" is a slap in the face. It discounts all the effort they went through - and they went through a lot. And they weren't the only ones, several other large web communities pitched in as well.
Here's my proposal: Jon Stewart should apologize for discounting the impact that Reddit and other Internet communities had on this rally, or next time The Internet should remember Comedy Central thinks they don't count and should show them what happens when "The Internet" actively works to convince people to not attend. Because if Reddit had put similar effort into convincing people not to attend, the crowd size would have been far smaller than anticipated. And if you don't believe me, let's see how it goes next time if Stewart makes the wrong decision.
PS: pretty sure this post will guarantee that I and/or Fark never get a mention on The Daily Show but that wasn't happening anyhow.
· · ·
New email notification options for you, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/17 - 10/23
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-26 2:15:13 PM (56 comments) | Permalink
We're launching some new stuff today: new email notifications.
For years now, we've had an option for emailing NewsFlash links to people who want to be the first in their office to know what the hell is going on -- since we watch all the other news sites so you don't have to.
A few months back, we extended this and added an option for emailing you when any links you submit get greenlit for Fark's main page or any tabs.
Today, we're adding a few more options:
- Notifications of new Fark Parties submitted nearby
- Notifications of comments that are replies to yours, or quote you, mention you, etc
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you've posted in lately
- Notifications of any new comments in threads you're watching
We wrote up an FAQ entry about it, explaining in a lot more detail how it all works and where to find it. But briefly, to enable or disable these email notifications, go to your MyFark profile, and at the very top of your profile, entering your password and click "Edit". From there, scroll down to the "Subscriptions section", which is right below Contacts and right above Bio.
Some of the new comment notifications are available directly under the comment posting box as well, for convenience. Also, there are unsubscribe links at the bottom of every single email, so you can just click on those if you want to shut 'em off at any time without having to go back to your profile.
We plan on turning the notifications of replies to your own comments on by default, and everything else off by default.
For the new Fark Party notifications, there are a few prerequisites:
- You have to set your home location in your profile. All we need is your zip code or postal code -- nothing more specific.
- The party has to be submitted to the Fark Party database at http://www.fark.com/cgi/party.pl -- which we give a link to on the normal link submission page if you submit a party there.
TotalFarkers got a head start on this about two weeks ago, and now we're releasing it for everyone else. For a shameless plug, this, and another new mobile-related feature we're previewing for them today, is one of the perks of joining TotalFark. :-)
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-17 to Sat 2010-10-23:
Drunken goat sacrifice goes horribly wrong. As if it could have gone horribly right
Kid steals parents pot and turns it in at school after DARE lesson. Next week's lesson: How to handle life in foster care
Numerous health problems linked to phthalates, according to the Sylvester Cat Research Institute
Woman arrested in St. Helens shooting. Witnesses say she just blew her top
Large bag of marijuana found floating in Massachusetts river. Cops knew immediately knew it was pot since the tide was high
Old men more likely to favor legal prostitution. There goes your inheritance
Dear Fark: I never thought I'd be writing one of these headlines, but Bob Guccione is dead at 79
States with abstinence-only sex education have higher rates of teen pregnancy, while other states see a drop. You're doing it
Man caught groping woman on airplane. Authorities immediately removed him from the airplane and put a TSA uniform on him
Speaking slowly and enunciating very carefully, Ugandan Health Minister blames jiggers for 20 deaths and more than 20,000 illnesses in his country in the last few months
NASA begins planning "100 year spaceship" program aimed at settling other worlds, sleeping with green women
Mediate scores his third eagle at Fry's Open, says he just tried to regulate, deviate, alleviate, try not to hate, love his mate, appreciate, the truth dilate, hallucinate, elevate, gravitate, liberate, designate his 9-iron as fate
A day after selling his interest in the Lakers, Magic Johnson sells 105 of his Starbucks franchises for over $100 million dollars, or about 18 venti mocha half-caff double tall soy/skim triple shot lattes
Crazed fan tackled by security after he runs onto the field at Yankee Stadium to fight A-Rod for Cameron Diaz's heart. Silly boy, if he had only waited a few more days he could have gotten A-Rod on the golf course
Check out this Fark headline that I retweeted and liked on Facebook that got copied by Digg and posted to Reddit about social networking overload
AMD reveals their new APU chip which combines ATI graphics and AMD CPUs on one chip, and call it "Llano". If installed backwards it will undo all civilization, but otherwise pretty cool
Bread has been around for 30,000 years. Which means that the "Best of Bread" album has been around for 29,999 years
"Avatar" wins Environmental Media Award. Considering how many ideas, characters, and shots were recycled from other movies, it's a fitting honor
Bruce Willis "regrets some movies." He doesn't specifically mention Hudson Hawk or Look Who's Talking Too or Color of Night or Bonfire of the Vanities or The Last Boy Scout or North or The Jackal or... you get the point
Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock, and Meryl Streep to star in new comedy tentatively titled "I Will Chew My Own Tongue Off Before I Even Remotely Consider Watching This"
Desperately courting the pro-Kari Byron and/or geek vote, Obama to appear on an episode of "Mythbusters". Show will determine if Archimedes using a giant magnifying glasses could forge a birth certificate
Sarah Palin endorses John Raese in Pennsylvania Senate race, apparently not bothered by the fact that he's running in West Virginia
Christine O'Donnell's hair length in her "I am not a witch" commercial means A) it's shopped, B) she's wearing extensions now, or C) she's a witch
Kings of Leon, with their tight trousers, pointy shoes, sleeveless tops and earnest lyrics are one can of Aqua Net away from turning into a Bon Jovi tribute band
Adam Lambert plays Metallica's Enter Sandman. James Hetfield is rolling over in his grave, and he's not even dead yet
Celine Dion gives birth to twin boys. She'll probably give them names that ran in her family, names like "Mephisto" and "Beelzebub"
Fark-ready headline: "Seven inches is enough, RIM tells Jobs"
Bible.com sued by investors for lack of prophets
First Hooters restaurant to open in Tokyo - beer served in smaller cups, of course
· · ·
Colo-rectal smoking, the Gap's huge casual tee, and I'm thinking RVs: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/10 - 10/16
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-19 1:55:08 PM (20 comments) | Permalink
Not a lot to report today, so instead here's my favorite submissions about Obama being on Mythbusters in December:
- Not bad for a couple of guys who's idea for a TV show consisted of strapping a couple of rockets to a Chevy
- President Obama to appear on the Dec. 8 episode of "MythBusters." Topics to be covered include the stimulus and ObamaCare
- Obama to appear on Mythbusters, refute being a Kenyan Muslim atheist socialist Marxist space lizard
- President Obama tries to come up with ways to cut military spending, contacts Mythbusters
- Noted scientist PRESIDENT OBAMA to appear on "Mythbusters", to test out the myth of Archimedes' fabled solar ray that is said to have destroyed a Roman fleet. If successful, this solar weapon will be deployed in the 2012 election
And the one we went with:
- Desperately courting the pro-Kari Byron and/or geek vote, Obama to appear on an episode of "Mythbusters". Show will determine if Archimedes using a giant magnifying glasses could forge a birth certificate
Yes, they're all funny, that's why it's so hard to pick one.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-10 to Sat 2010-10-16:
Man's life dream is to bring dinosaurs back to Central Park. Would be fascinating, educational, and have the added benefit of taking care of problems like the homeless. And joggers
Homeless concerns in Des Moines continue to go unaddressed, just like the homeless
Six missing boaters found alive, but tragically returned to New Jersey
The Maori believe that pregnant or menstruating women should not be allowed near weapons...smart folks, those Maori
Indian in Indian beauty contest accused of not looking Indian enough. How? I don't understand why they have such reservations about her
Man fishes 10 hours with hook in head, says it felt just like his wedding day
CVS, with 7,100 stores, fined $75 million and forfeits $2.6 million in profit, for increasing pseudoephedrine sales by as much as 150 percent. It was my understanding that there would be no meth
Study: Colorectal cancer linked to smoking. You're doing it wrong
Five times the U.S. almost nuked itself. Phew, that was clo
Chilean miners joked about cannibalism, said the one heavyset miner that everyone shared their food rations with
Winnebago sales are up. I'm thinking RVs
Brett Favre gets hit in the groin by a football, collapses in agony. Stop whining, Brett, it's only a little prick
The Yankees mess with Texas. This is not a repeat from 1865, 1996, 1998, or 1999
Mariners choose Wedge as next manager, citing his experience jump starting struggling teams, attacking Death Stars
Love may be as good as a pain reliever, according to the Institute of Emotionless Bastards Who Have Never Been Dumped
Benoit Mandelbrot, the Father of Fractal Geometry, has died at 85, now exists on even more complex plane
Scientists discover molecular "switch" that may allow true sunless tanning, prevent the early death of Jersey Shore cast. Someone must stop this research
David Beckham spends $100 on a sandwich. It's a good start, but his wife needs more than one
Dane Cook's half-brother sentenced to prison for stealing all the money Dane Cook made stealing material from actual comedians
CBS to develop another sitcom based on a Twitter feed as produced by Ashton Kutcher. It will be cancelled in fewer than 140 minutes
Which former Secretary of State voted for Jimmy Carter, had connections to a prominent Black Panther, is a Led Zeppelin fan and dated NFL players? I mean, BESIDES James Baker?
Richard Blumenthal appears to be pulling away from Linda McMahon in the CT senate race. Yeah, he's up now, but she'll just hit him with a steel chair while the ref is distracted and win anyway
Rep. Rahall (D-im), "Climate change - to deny it exists...is like...claiming Santa Claus doesn't exist." Dude, you're not helping
Sufjan Stevens-inspired ballet coming to New York. I'm sure that it will be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very mellow
Lady Gaga fears a "John Lennon-style death," doesn't realize she's Yoko
Fail: MTV accidentally put "The Black Eyed Peas" on the VMA the Black Keys won, proving you can't escape the Black Eyed Peas even when you listen to good music
Lead smelter settles with EPA over pollution violations, admits those who smelt it dealt it
The Gap finally admits that their new logo design was a huge casual tee
Wine in New Zealand is now cheaper than water. That definitely explains why the residents walk around with a blanc stare
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Street value of a 500-lb drug dealer, Tusken Raiders resorting to armed robbery, and violet consequences on the Blue Danube: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/3 - 10/9
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-12 3:03:50 PM (10 comments) | Permalink
No post from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-03 to Sat 2010-10-09:
Test-tube baby pioneer Robert Edwards wins Nobel for medicine, an achievement nobody saw coming
Smoking Chimp finally dies. Why nobody put him out is still unknown
In an interesting turn of events, the Emancipation Proclamation is being sold at auction
Hungary declares state of emergency as red sludge heads for the blue Danube threatening violet consequences
Farmer forced to burn crops after plane dumps human waste across 25 acres of land. The only thing he could salvage was the corn
Hearse kills man. Well, THAT'S convenient
Police arrest 500-pound drug dealer, estimate his street value at well over $1,000,000
Tusken Raiders rob a pub at gunpoint. Authorities fear that they'll be back and in greater numbers
Man leaves fiancée and nephew to feed dogs. Dogs report the nephew was tender, but the fiancée was a little gamey
Businessman chokes to death during S&M session. Victim's identity was confirmed using collar ID
Pygmy goats get high grazing on magic mushrooms. Won't somebody think of the kids?
Titan's Chuck Cecil fined $10,000 for each finger not showing when he waved to the ref
ESPN producer arrested while masturbating at neighbor's window. Apparently she had just hung a new LeBron poster on the wall
Former Bears QB Kyle Orton on pace to break the all-time single-season passing yards record. Current Bears QB Jay Cutler on pace to remove his socks so he can count to twenty
Three senior members at DC Comics may leave the company. TO BE CONTINUED
Scientists discover yet another 200 new species in remote PNG. It's amazing how much stuff can be compressed into such a small size
The co-founder of Facebook donates $100,000 in support of legalizing marijuana in California. 420 people like this
IN A WORLD where voiceover artists lend their talents to ads and movie trailers, ONE VETERAN ANNOUNCER will go silent and collaborate with Don LaFontaine in the afterlife. "Art Gilmore: Dead at 98" - this time, it's for REAL
Al Pacino to play Phil Spector in a movie. It took every fiber of my being to refrain from posting this with a NewsFlash tag
CHiPS star caught up in a Ponchi scheme
Tea Party leader backs Democrat. Moon destroyed by rogue asteroid. Only one of these stories is true
1.87 m tall Obama, who is the 44rd President and has been President for 623 days, 23 hours, 27 minutes and 32 seconds, makes the first appointment of someone with autism
Sharron Angle says that miltant terrorists have taken over US cities in Michigan and imposed sharia law there. Apparently she's confusing Detroit and Afghanistan, which, admittedly, is an easy mistake to make
LA City Council declares October 1 "John Lennon Day". Fans pleased, as it took 5-6 shots at getting the bill passed
Billy Idol to work on an autobiography. He'll be writing by himself - OH OH - writing by himself
Eminem says he doesn't use profanity in front of his children. Only yours
Microsoft may issue tablets by Christmas. No word yet on whether they'll contain potassium cyanide or saxitoxin
Michigan company recall alfalfa. Buckwheat and Farina still otay
Paul Volcker warns of long-term high unemployment because we're not actually fixing anything in the economy. President Reagan should really listen to this dude
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New Jose Cuervo ad campaign heads-up (short version: it's not annoying) , and info on how to win a big Fark party in your town
Posted by Drew at 2010-10-11 11:16:16 AM (197 comments) | Permalink
Just wanted to let you know about an ad campaign we're gonna be running for a few months. Finally landed an alcohol sponsor, Jose Cuervo. They're going to be sponsoring something we're calling the Cuervo Cue Moment of the Week. Each week, we're going to select a Fark link to be a Cue moment that is cool, unique and interesting. But we wanted to do something that involved the community as well.
Each month (starting in Oct) we're going to have a Cue Moment of the Month. These moments will be submitted by you the viewer. The moment will be a few paragraphs about something really cool, unique and funny that might have happened to you. Whether you won $30k in Vegas, or you had front row seats to the Super Bowl, or perhaps you did something to become an actual Fark article. Anything you're proud of that you'd want the whole of Fark to read, we want you to submit that. Winner will receive $500 and a Fark party in his/her hometown in their honor and I'll come if at all humanly possible (95% chance, depends on what's going on at the time but I'll try like hell to get there). More details will come as the month progresses.
I'd like to point out that Cuervo was very interested in avoiding the things you (we) all hate such as pop-ups, popunders, flash takeovers, dudes wearing placcards chasing you around the store, and so on.
We've struggled for literally years trying to convince advertisers that maybe, JUST MAYBE, not irritating consumers is a better route to go. FINALLY, we've found an ad partner who believes this as well. I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
For those folks very proud of their installed ad blockers blocking Fark ads, I'm sure you'll waste no time telling us all about how awesome you are in the comments thread. For those of you who have ad-blockers and have chosen to allow Fark's ads to get through, my family and I thank you for helping us keep the lights on. Cuervo went out of their way to make their ads acceptable to the Fark community, and if for some reason anyone thinks we missed the mark by all means let us know because we want to do this as right as possible.
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