Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
View a Fark blog:    

Newest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Oldest

Patent-infringement lawsuit against Fark settled for zero dollars. Also, patent trolls suck hairy donkey balls
Posted by Drew at 2011-08-10 10:59:00 AM (360 comments) | Permalink

A lot of you were already aware that Fark was sued by a patent troll back in January. I wanted to share that as of today, after eight months of legal work, that lawsuit was dismissed.

Here's the tl;dr version:

Their patent had nothing to do with Fark. The patent troll realized we were going to fight them instead of settle, so they asked for our best offer. I said how about you get nothing and drop the lawsuit? They accepted.


Normally, we wouldn't be able to talk about any of the details. Terms of patent lawsuit settlements are usually bound by ironclad nondisclosure agreements. NDAs allow patent trolls to extract maximum settlements from each entity they've filed lawsuits against - as a result no one knows who paid what. In the last round of settlement negotiations we asked to strike the NDA provision. They agreed (and to the attorneys out there reading this, I'm as baffled as you are).

Striking the NDA was crucial because I wanted to be able to tell everyone what really happened: we didn't pay them a single dime.

The patent covered a method for inputting news releases into a web form, which would then compile the news release and email it to media outlets. Now, aside from the fact that a ton of prior art exists and that the patent should never have been awarded in the first place, Fark and all the other websites named in the lawsuit don't produce "news releases". In the world of journalism, the term "news release" is equivalent to "press release" - the patent itself equates the two in the opening description. Could a judge have ruled otherwise? Sure. They've been known to rule that the sky is green - which is why this lawsuit was dangerous.

As much as I'd like to fight the good fight, we reluctantly decided against pursuing a counterclaim against the patent holder. Too expensive--as in a couple million dollars too expensive, years of legal wrangling, and no guarantee of recovering all of the spent money by the time it was over. I sincerely hope someone still in the case with deeper pockets pursues these guys. I'm happy to help in any way I can. Unfortunately, Yahoo settled a while back, and Conde Nast settled out for Reddit this week. AOL is still in it though, I believe they're inclined to hang in - especially given what happened with Fark settling for nothing.

At any rate, this bullshiat is finally over. It was a nightmare. Imagine someone breaking into your home, then being forced to sit on the couch while their lawyers file motions over how much stuff they can take. My wife Heather said my first draft of this post sounded too angry, probably due to the fact that every third word was an f-bomb (among other things I paraphrased our best one-time settlement offer as "how about jack sh*t and go f*ck yourself", which may be a more accurate depiction of how I really felt at the time). I won't lie though, I was angry and I am still. Too much money was wasted on this, too many sleepless nights, too many hours away from running Fark, and all this because someone else decided that suing companies for bearing a vague resemblance to their patent (patents they don't even appear to use themselves) is a good business model. We're short a full-time employee thanks to these douchebags.

I'm just glad it's over. Huge thanks to Legal Team Fark at Roetzel & Andress, who were able to quickly grasp the reasons why this patent lawsuit was bullshiat and hone those arguments into legal nightmares for the plaintiff. I can't recommend them highly enough to anyone going through a similar situation. After all, when's the last time you saw a patent lawsuit settled for zero dollars? Pretty rare.

All right that's it, let's get back to funny news. C'mon Florida, don't fail me now.
· · ·

Chinese toddler opens his eyes...a little, close shave rubs out Brazilians, and Sherwood Schwartz's coconut coffin: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 7/10 - 7/16
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-19 3:21:53 PM (32 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-10 to Sat 2011-07-16:

  USPS may issue stamp honoring Wilt Chamberlain. Will only be for large packages overnight

  Naked woman found dead after getting into a fight with a church statue. Police are looking for a carpenter in His early thirties for questioning

  Chinese toddler who fell 10 stories wakes from coma and opens eyes, but not too much

  US to sell F-16s to Iraq to help counterbalance Iran, but don't worry - these are the ones with cassette players and roll-down windows and no keyless entry

  Former SEALs upset that Discovery Channel's 'Secrets of SEAL Team Six' documentary may have put team members at risk. Network executives busy trying to remove mysterious red dot that's appeared on their chests

  Man selling breathalyzer tests to bar patrons, who question why it takes five minutes to blow in the tube

  Iowa State Fair to drastically increase police security. Organizers hope to stop theft and assaults, keep residents from eating the butter sculpture

  Mother accused of microwaving baby has another one in the oven

  Two brothers in shampoo fight sent to jail for reconditioning

  Man tries to abduct children in Romulus. Chairman Koval says the Tal Shiar are investigating

  One-legged truck driver used boy for clutch. The job itself wasn't hard but he ended up having to work a lot of shifts


  It was a very close shave, but Americans rub out Brazilians, thanks to hot Boxx and incredible Solo performance, now on the way to World Cup climax

  Rev. 6:9 - "And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: yea, that the Pirates were a game out at the break"

  Robinson Cano wins Home Run Derby, giving the AFC home field advantage in the 2018 Pro Bowl


  "Being cyber-stalked is as bad as being raped, or in a war", reports Institute for Blowing Things Way Out of Proportion

  Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque

  "How to Become a Beekeeper." Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them


  Yoko Ono threatens to sue Scottish pub named in honor of John Lennon. Perhaps if they named a shot after him it would be okay

  "Gilligan's Island" creator Sherwood Schwartz dies at 94. His coffin will be made entirely of coconuts

  Elin Nordegren finds a new billionaire, hopefully one who knows how to keep his putz under control


  How President Obama can reclaim his green card, er, green cred. Cred. Sorry

  After Obama's 'eat our peas' comment today, the USA Dry Pea & Lentil Council would like to remind you that peas are filled with country goodness and green peaness

  Dems beat Republicans 7-2 in House baseball game, Republicans blame Fox News for only throwing them softballs in training


  Tennis rivals John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg team up to launch their own line of underwear. Will only come in sets of three, four or five

  Italy orders naked short sellers to disclose positions. Ewwww

  Irish debt downgraded from Bushmills to warm Miller Lite
· · ·

Super hunan determination, Kilimanjaro via trebuchet, and a clean snatch from Miss Brazil: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/3 - 7/9
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-14 7:02:37 PM (17 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, he's setting up new Fight Clubs studying at Columbia this week, but he should be back soon. In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-03 to Sat 2011-07-09:  For your Sunday entertainment: The 100 Best Cheerleader Pics Ever. Sure, it's a slideshow, but really, it's just 100 mouseclicks. You can do that with one hand  Woman in China catches toddler who falls 10 stories, displaying super hunan determination  Miss Brazil robbed at gunpoint. It was a clean snatch  Men shine lasers at LAPD helicopters. Cops quickly track them down by process of illumination  Legless soldier aims for Mount Kilimanjaro. Now to find someone to pull the trigger on the trebuchet  Ronald Reagan monument unveiled outside London's US embassy. New statue promptly takes 15-point lead in GOP presidential poll  Can of spray-on tan explodes, injuring six. YO, THE HUMANITY  Taco Bell to bring Wi-Fi to nearly 6,000 locations. And if anyone knows how to deliver a speedy download, it's Taco Bell  Police seek help in locating stolen newspaper vending machine, whatever the hell that is  Tropical storm Calvin gaining strength off Mexico's west coast, may soon transmogrify into a hurricane. Or a herd of snowmen. Or a T Rex flying a jet fighter  Coast Guard searching for seven lost at sea. The missing described as a chubby boat captain, a skinny deck hand, two wealthy retirees, a beautiful actress, a farm girl, and a scientist

Sports:  Seven months after divorcing Eva Longoria, Tony Parker now dating 20-year-old French pageant queen. Once again he shows his awesome rebounding skills  Tour de France cyclist Frank Schleck accidentally ate a bee or wasp during Sunday's time trial. Doctors say other than catching a slight buzz, he'll be fine  Indians successfully drive Yankees from their homeland. This is most certainly not a repeat from 1492

Geek:  What can 2,914 female Australian twins teach us about orgasms? Besides that subby should learn to get his pants off faster, that is  Are your index and ring fingers close to the same size? Congratulations on the long penis  New t-shirt built from piezoelectric film charges your cell phone by converting ambient sound to electricity. If you wear it to a Manowar show, you can power London for six hours  Shipwreck? Check. Insanity from lead poisoning? Check. Possible cannibalism? Check. File under "classic British misadventure"  Researchers have found that cockroaches prefer right turns, only have one look blocked  CNN reports that sometimes companies pay attention when you tweet about them #ricromero  Parasites make sex worthwhile, say scientists who clearly have never had children  Katamari Damacy designer hired to help create an MMO set inside the minds of supernatural creatures. A game destined to be so weird, reading this headline gave you a contact high  Arizona city has creative new fuel source. You've got to be shiattin' me

Entertainment:  Katie Holmes hits the water in spiffy bikini. Her belly button, unfortunately, was hit by a navel destroyer  Chloe Sevigny gets a grip on fashion, chokes up, says it sucks, she's 'not excited by contemporary fashion'', will debut her own fashion line. Now that's a mouthful  The artist Bow Wow reveals two secrets in his open letter to the public. 1) He has a new baby girl. 2) He has a tenuous relationship with literacy

Politics:  Sarah Palin was reportedly reduced to tears over footage of celebrities insulting her in her new documentary, and her old man got so pissed he tore his shirt off and peeled out of the theater parking lot in his IROC-Z  Minnesota shutdown continues with 23,000 public employees now out of work. Government officials desperately hoping to end the shutdown before winter arrives in mid-August  House Speaker John Boehner admits he is putting the economy at risk for a double-dip, blames Obama and Costanza

Business:  GE gets $27B order for thrust reversers. SPOILER ALERT  Clown Shoes' Tramp Stamp IPA will be renamed "Lower Back Tattoo" to avoid any conflicts with the NAWWRGTS (National Association of Women Who Regret Getting Tramp Stamps)  Real estate value site Zillow finally sets its IPO price on paper, but it's really 20-30% less when it comes time to sell
· · ·

Taliban solo albums, a note from the Applesauce Industry board, and a sweet $5.78 windfall: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/26 - 7/2
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-05 3:48:45 PM (14 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-26 to Sat 2011-07-02:  L.A. unified schools issues new policy that says that only 10% of a student's grade will be based on homework. The other 90% will be based on their skill at rejecting teacher's sexual advances  The head count around US nuke plants is soaring. Populations, too  The Taliban in Pakistan splits up, citing creative differences, planned solo albums  28 bus riders sink into Bolivian  Air quality alert confuses New Jersey residents, who don't know what the words "air" and "quality" mean together  Prince Albert denies claims his fiancée tried to run away while he was in the can  Japanese utility shareholders vote to keep nuclear energy, despite giant wave of opposition  Money not necessarily key to happiness, according to economists who have never had to price check ramen noodles  Four guys rob Five Guys; turns out three of the four guys worked at Five Guys and now each need one guy to convince twelve other guys not to lock them up with 500 other guys  Tumor undergoes surgery to have a Chavez removed from around it  Experts say children account for 40 percent of all fireworks injuries, suggest parents remember that kids blow up so fast these days

Sports:  Ex-lightweight champ Juan Diaz to study law at Dartmouth. Now happy to be going from boxers to briefs  U.S. Open officials accused of making golf course super easy to ensure low scores, increase TV ratings. PGA spokesman denies the accusations while standing near the 77-yard par 4  Formula 1 driver Mark Webber will be trained to fly Qantas jets. So much for "Qantas never crashes"

Geek:  Whales, plankton migrate across Northwest Passage, proving it has reopened. Tea, spice and silk traders said to be ecstatic  Scientists finally finish sequencing Tasmanian devil DNA. There were no survivors  Cinnamon may help prevent Alzheimer's, says study funded by grant from Applesauce Industry Board

Entertainment:  Britney Spears has a ticket-selling strategy... FOR ME TO GROUPON  Guy behind Chicago's doomed alternative radio station offers gold record from Radiohead's "OK Computer" if you kick in to publish book about the station's history. Story does not explain what a record--or a book--is  Arnold and Maria will each walk away from the marriage with about $200 million. After lawyers fees, that's a sweet $5.78 windfall

Politics:  I've got this headline, and it's farking golden. And I, I'm just not giving it up for farking nothing  Bachmann: "President Obama fears me. He sees me as a serious, substantive competitor." Well, if that's true, clearly this Obama guy is absolutely nuts, and I can't imagine voting for him  President Obama will hold a rare press conference in the East Room at 11:30EDT. The East Room? Doesn't that face toward Mecca?

Business:  The head of the London Stock Exchange says the TMX talks are going well UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE  Congress considering giving oversight of investment advisers to Wall Street's own self-funded regulator. In other news, the Chicken Farmers of America have just signed a new security deal with International Fox  Googol bids Brun's constant, Meissel-Mertens constant and pi in auction for Nortel Networks. Their irrational plan to sine the deal failed as competitors converged to form union against them. Subby apologizes for going off on a tangent
· · ·

An early note on next year's World Fark Party in Las Vegas, and a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/19 - 6/25
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-28 2:09:12 PM, edited 2012-03-15 3:52:19 PM (241 comments) | Permalink

Hello everyone!

Been traveling a lot lately. I probably shouldn't even start a note saying that, it'd only be news if I wasn't.

Wanted to give folks a heads up, mark out your calendars for Mar 30 - Apr 1 next year in Las Vegas for the 2nd World Fark Nascon Meetup Name To Be Determined Later. We're getting a much earlier jump on things this time. Probably going to be at Treasure Island again since they did right by us, but we're still gonna bid it out to make sure we're getting the best deal for you. We should have location locked down much sooner than we did last time.

We're also planning on leaving a lot of free time for folks to come up with their own mini-outings; this worked extremely well last time. So on that note, be thinking about a couple of things:

1) who would you like to see as guests next year?
2) what kinds of mini-outings would you be interested in hosting?

Run those around in your head and we'll revisit this in a month or so.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-19 to Sat 2011-06-25:  Pope: Look at the crime of sex abuse in the face. Altar Boy: Eyes are up here  Study: Child dies in portable pool every five days. Well, get him out of there for Christ's sake  Obama impersonator wasn't pulled due to his material -- he just went over three-fifths of his allotted time  Epileptic girl reunited with missing dog, seizes the moment  "Pilot error" blamed for north-west Russia plane crash. Also, gravity  Kansas raises speed limit to 75mph, thus making it easier to get out of Kansas  Saskatchewan's population reaches record high, according to guy at Statistics Canada who is now counting on both hands  Bones given back to Labrador, who had really just wanted steak  Fox Lake claims another victim after their boat failed to remain fair & balanced  From the early 1900's until 1974, Michigan sterilized over 3,000 of its citizens. Why they stopped is still unclear  40,000 bottles of a schizophrenia medication recalled by Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson

Sports:  White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen passes kidney stone. First time this season he gets three good innings of relief  Winning her first match since her near fatal health issue, Serena Williams cries tears of joy for the first time. Big, muscular yet feminine tears of joy  Dirk Nowitzki throws first pitch at Rangers game. Application from Lebron James denied because team was afraid the pitch would only get 3/4 of the way to the plate

Geek:  Ornithologists conclude birds that fly in packs, or "cluster flocking", are not more aerodynamic or efficient. Basically, it's a bunch of cluster flocking B.S.  Australian researchers find spices can dramatically improve sex life. Best results came from Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Baby, Posh  Lithium can prevent brain damage and has chosen touted for all the thyme purple public is non-gov non-toxic net knicker financial assets

Entertainment:  Angelina Jolie visits Mediterranean islands beset by refugee crisis. Your move, Jennifer Aniston  Lindsay Lohan due in court for a "surprise probation violation hearing" for drinking. Uh, surprise for who?  Brian Wilson biopic in the works. As a proper tribute, the movie will only be available in mono

Politics:  Sarah Palin quits bus tour halfw  Gay marriage passes in NY. Finally New York is just as cool as Iowa  Five nuclear scientists working on the Iranian nuclear program died after their plane broke in mid-air and caught fire. Report says that technical failure was ruled out, but there israelly no way to tell what happened. Mossad been an accident

Business:  Apple to start making TVs. Line to the world's most magical $3000, 720p set forms to the right  Caarmaaker Saab caannot paay aautoworkers  Facebook adds Netflix CEO to their queue, hope to have him in the mail within two days
· · ·

Ascot ass caught, rabbis working for tips, and understanding alcohol's braining effects on the damage: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/12 - 6/18
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-21 12:10:22 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-12 to Sat 2011-06-18:  Man without limbs declares intent to swim across bay. Buoy, that's something  Men care more about their cars than their health, says researcher who obviously never owned a '65 Mustang  Judge to copyright troll: "Your case is a sham. Shut your damn mouth and get out of my court." Copyright © 2011 Go Screw Yourself, Inc  Ascot ass caught, stole stole  Al Qaeda publishes "hit list" of 40 Americans. No details as to who's on it, but your mom's not listed, since everyone hit it already  Pentagon looking for people to build starship. Starship looking for people to build this city on rock and roll  Turn right down boat ramp. Vehicle under water. Recalculating  5.2 magnitude earthquake rocks Anchorage. Shaken residents trying to get their Berings Strait  Companion dog helps girl testify in NY rape case. How did he treat you? Rough. Can you describe his face? Rough. Is the man in the courtroom? Yip Yip. Let the record show the girl is pointing to the defendant  Family of guinea pigs stolen from porch. Police kick their investigation into high Gere  A drunk woman ran into her ex yesterday. Then she backed up and ran into him again. She misses him sometimes

Sports:  PGA golfer Harrison Frazar finally wins first tournament after 13 years and 355 tries. Congratulations pour in from fellow pros, golf fans, Susan Lucci  Gang warfare alleged over Shaq sex tape. Defendant claims that's ridiculous, since everyone knows that Shaq can't approach the hole without help  Ohio State compliance director drives a courtesy car from a dealer that got season tickets in return. Guess he'll have to enter the National Compliance League supplemental draft now

Geek:  Apple developing technology that would disable the iPhone's camera while filming concerts or sporting events. Say hello to NanniPhone  Understanding alcohol's braining effects on the damage  Argentina and Chile say they have too many beavers, look to neighbor Brazil for ideas on how to shave their numbers

Entertainment:  If you have a crush on Shannon Tweed, I have good news. If you have a crush on Gene Simmons, I have no idea why  Fergie: "I'm young at heart." And crystal meth makes you look old at face  Who would pay $486 for tickets to Broadway? Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Politics:  Democratic Congressman introduces bill protecting rabbis' right to work for tips  Our long national penis joke is finally over  Report: Paul Ryan may personally benefit from preserving billions in taxpayer oil subsidies. In other news, there may be gambling in Casablanca

Business:  Timberland acquired for $1.6 billion. Magoo holding out for more money  Facebook denies losing users, using losers  TV huckster Don Lapre indicted by Grand Jury. Court documents to be published in tiny classified ads
· · ·

Where did all the women come from? Notes from the Toronto Fark Party and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 6/5 - 6/11
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-14 4:07:29 PM, edited 2011-06-14 4:10:43 PM (32 comments) | Permalink

I was in Toronto this past weekend for one of three simultaneous Fark parties in three countries. We heard a bit from the folks in Cologne before Toronto got going, and I assume that when I woke up around 10am the following day that the New Orleans party was probably still going from the previous night.  I wish I could have gone to all three but I had a great time in Toronto.

I had an interesting conversation in Toronto about the expected ideal of what a general Farker actually looks like vs reality.  Everyone expects Fark parties to be sausage fests, but they're not. In fact lately, the last few I've been to have been nearly 50% women. Which is interesting to me because back in the early days of Fark the men to women ratio was 80/20 (it's 60/40) now. I'm not sure why that changed. We've never specifically targeted the male audience, that's just kind of how it was back in the day. I suspect the progress went something like this:

- TotalFarkers are allowed to buy subscriptions for other Farkers
- Turns out most of the bought subscriptions are for women, and cool women at that (smart, funny women don't take sh*t from people, etc.)
- Critical mass is reached with the female population, more women join

Just a guess, I've done no studies. I like it though.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-05 to Sat 2011-06-11:  Cole's Law: Cabbage art, when correctly marketed, can sell for very high prices  Identical twin friars born seconds apart 92 years ago, die hours apart. Finally, both were just tuckered out  Jury selection begins in "Cleveland Strangler" case. Challenge is finding people who actually live in Cleveland and don't want to strangle people  Man kills himself after 10 failed attempts. Friends and family cite his 'never say die' attitude  Manatee man finds class ring after 25 years, also hopes that scientists can make him human again  Two men jump in Wisconsin river to cool off, are now at room temperature  Leonard Stern, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 88. He will be ___________  Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck  The US Balloon Corps celebrates 150 years of aerial reconnaissance, squeaky voices  Crystal Lake girl dies. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah  Angry birds menacing Everett, WA residents. National Guard preparing to deploy pigs and poorly fastened lumber

Sports:  BCS pokes hole in Trojans' 2004 title  All-Black Donald signs for Bath. E-I-E-I-O  Indiana residents squabble over plans for a Larry Bird statue, saying a statue would depict his mobility too accurately

Geek:  Technology experts argue that Facebook will eventually kill Google because we'd all much rather ask our friends what the best place to find midget transformer porn is, rather than search for it anonymously  People judge the rapists by their offices, business cards  Basement inventor creates low-cost artificial hand, immediately filling fellow basement dwellers with ideas on how to test it

Entertainment:  Kim Kardashian threatens In Touch Weekly with big-ass lawsuit  NPR interviews Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars, who had to call an expert buddy during the interview because he wasn't sure if NPR was legit or not  Lady Gaga planning "marathon" tour in 2012. So THAT'S what the Mayans were talking about

Politics:  Santorum begins his state-by-state tour to stimulate his base. And if there's one thing Santorum's good at, it's pro-state stimulation  Weiner seeks to beat heat for his meat tweet and keep seat  Newt Gingrich's senior aides resign en masse, presumably will join younger, more attractive candidate's campaign

Business:  Comcast seeks to gain exclusive rights to air the Olympic games in 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020. Death Star construction begins in 2022  Texas Instruments prepares for some serious 535507  Winner of charity auction spends $2.3 million for lunch with Warren Buffett. Will get numerous investment tips, starting with don't spend $2.3 million to have lunch with anyone
· · ·

Piss-poor balance, Jessica Simpson's shunning muumuu, and nobody expects the Spanish inhibition: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/29 - 6/4
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-07 2:54:22 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-29 to Sat 2011-06-04:  Model and friend party in Atlanta hotel until they have a major falling out  Restaurant owner dead after his Model A crashes. Officials cited the lack of seat belts, crumple zones, airbags, traction control, and anti-lock brakes as contributing factors  Barcelona has such a problem keeping people clothed, they're actually levying fines against their citizens who insist on doing everything naked. Nobody expects the Spanish Inhibition  Video captures "UFO squadron" over Oakland. The group was disorganized and apparently harmless, leading UFO researchers to believe that Al Davis was in charge of it  Archaeologists find sealed tunnel underneath Teotihuacan temple, and like complete idiots decide to open it and release whatever unspeakable horror resides within  Man falls down embankment while urinating -- a clear case of piss-poor balance  Parents sue school when their precious snowflake is barred from graduation ceremony for printing porn from school computer. They should be proud he actually learned a useful life skill in school  Breast-feeding protest attendance sags, lacks support, and is mostly a bust  3-10 people shot in Yuma  Ohio considers boosting alcohol limit of beer to 18 percent, thereby helping citizens cope with reality of living in Ohio  Little Leaguer killed when pitch hits chest. Boy's parents, boy, heartbroken

Sports:  Tressel divests himself from Ohio State  Congrats to Tony Romo for getting married. That's the only way you were ever going to get a ring  Shaq hints that he may join ESPN SportsCenter. If that doesn't work, he could always be a bricklayer

Geek:  Sturgeon death highlights the stressful demands of modern fishicians  Astronomers release hot pics of Milky Way's twin. How you doin', NGC 6744?  Mastodon finds have Colorado ready to rock. *WICKED GUITAR SOLO*

Showbiz:  Nick Lachey and fiancee throw wedding shower. Jessica Simpson dons her shunning muumuu  "How Pawn Stars Launched a Hot New Genre and May Earn Academy Respect." This article is interesting and would look great on my web browser, but I'm going to need an expert to take a look at it  Hayden Panettiere washes her hands of dirty Sanchez rumors

Politics:  President of Abkhazia dies. Death Eaters inconsolable  Chris Christie, champion of cutting wasteful spending, arrives at his son's baseball game in a police helicopter. No word on how said helicopter managed to stay airborne  Former Senator John Edwards indicted for using campaign money to poll the electorate

Business:  Zillow aims to be the first one-letter symbol on the NASDAQ. Really? That's so interestiZzzzzzzz  Toyota recalls 106,000 Prius cars over a loose nut. Hasn't Al Gore suffered enough?  Asian stocks get plowed, require blurring out of the naughty parts
· · ·

A quick note on the redesign, and some of Fark's favorite headlines from 5/22 - 5/28
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-31 5:41:21 PM (196 comments) | Permalink

Over the last week (or two if you're a TFer), you've probably noticed the option to take a look at the redesign that's going live June 1. If you haven't seen it yet, you can check it out here. Basically, we like to update the Fark periodically, make it easier to use and more intuitive. Unlike last time when we just dropped it on you, we figured we'd let you check it out in advance and get used to it, as well as give us feedback on where things were broken so that we could get them all fixed up before we pushed the final design live.

We've received a lot of feedback, so much in fact that we're still getting to the responses as we can. I wanted to say thanks for that; you've helped us fix small issues that we probably wouldn't have found in time, even searching across multiple OS and browser configurations like we were. That's appreciated. A few of us have asked if we'll be changing mobile right after this. The answer is that we don't have an overhaul planned immediately, but we'll probably continue to make small changes to make Fark look more consistent with the new design on mobile devices.

Where possible, we're doing our best to accommodate your recommendations and fold them into the design. For instance, we'll be redesigning the Keep Farking button to keep that in, although it'll just be a link until we re-do it. But it'll be there as a link so you can continue to use it.

A few of you have expressed some frustration that the music tab will be going away, and that's understandable. It's been an issue for a while, though. Whenever we have a tab, we feel the need to keep the tab filled with new links every day, and we just weren't getting enough good links to the Music tab. There were fewer submitters to the tab and so the pickings were not as good as we hoped, but we greenlit a lot anyway to keep the tab from drying up completely. We'll still have the content, but it'll just continue to be on the Showbiz tab and the Video tab (where most of the good stuff is cross-posted already).

Anyway, that's all for now. Thanks for being patient and if the design seems a bit foreign now, hopefully it won't feel too weird for too long and after a few days it'll feel normal.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-22 to Sat 2011-05-28:  Missing model car pulled from the murky Chicago River. This is a tragedy on a 1:25th scale  NPR reports on the Miss Shrimp Festival, Miss Shrimp Pageant, Miss Shrimp Ceremony, Miss Shrimp Party, Miss Shrimp Gala, Miss Shrimp Carnival, Miss Shrimp Fair, Miss Shrimp Parade, Miss Shrimp Ball, Miss Shrimp Reception  Court postpones and relocates case of obese woman after she cannot fit through court doors for trial. Lawyers and defendant all looking for a change of menu  Armed robbery of Radio Shack yields $23.57, 3 cordless phones, 20 feet of speaker wire, a handful of BNC connectors and an undisclosed number of 9 volt batteries  The newest police tool for taping searches - sunglasses cameras. Guess they want to try and record any....shady behavior. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH  Grimsvotn volcano in Iceland stops spewing ash, wants to cuddle  Horse turned away from McDonald's drive thru. Later accepted at the Deliveries door  Semi carrying rubbing alcohol overturns; accident cleans itself up  Man sues for $15K in damages after being injured by rose thorn. That must be some prick  Historic Miami Herald newspaper building sold to Malaysian company, who plans to turn it into sweatshop with overworked, underpaid laborers... oh, wait  Car carrying $1M coin collection rolls over and crashes, dumping entire load across highway -- resulting in unexpected lane change

Sports:  Female softball umpire accused of getting into the minors  New York votes to legalize mixed martial arts matches. All rules to be carefully enforced, fighters to punch in and punch out  NFL, Cowboys want Super Bowl seating suit tossed. Lawyers told to find a seat and wait for judge... oh, there aren't any seats available? So sorry... sucks, doesn't it?

Geek:  The modern bikini introduced 65 years ago by French designer. Undoubtedly the best navel experiment of all times  Spiders suffer from human impact, according to Rolled-Up Newspaper University  Physicists determine that the shape of the electron is surprisingly round, and will now be known as the "Kardashian particle"

Showbiz:  'Lost' actress Evangeline Lilly gives birth to a baby boy. At least somebody on that show had a defined exit strategy  Kim Kardashian is writing a novel, presumably about Deep Space Nine  "Cease" is the word for Jeff Conaway

Politics:  Georgians continue to protest their president, seemingly unaware that Carter's been out of office for decades  Barney Frank admits to helping his lover land a coveted position in Fannie  Palin to embark on short bus tour this weekend

Music:  And now, a Chinese bluegrass band. Oh brother, where art Chao  Eddie Vedder releases new album in which he explores unintelligible mumbling in a whole new way  Court refuses to reconsider Phil Spector's appeal, use of NewsFlash tag

Business:  Cisco sued for collaboration with Chinese internet repression, faking optolythic data rod recordings  Costco third-quarter profit rises, proving Americans will always find a way to use five gallons of mayonnaise in a tub  Rocketdyne launches 300 employees to the unemployment line. There will be no re-entry to their workplace
· · ·

Some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/15 - 5/21
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-24 2:58:37 PM (19 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-15 to Sat 2011-05-21:  Carnival worker falls to his death from Ferris wheel. If you can guess how much he weighs, you win a teddy bear  Is that a needle in your pocket or are you just Hep C to see me?  The reason for the hasta la vista? Baby  Virus leaked social security numbers of unemployed, offering identity thieves chance to get turned down for credit  People, don't bring your seven-year-old to your drug deals. They usually can't lay down effective suppressing fire when you rip off the dealer  Zoo animals face budget knife. And fork  Ex-IMF chief Strauss-Kahn granted $1 million bail and will be confined to home detention. No word yet on whether he will have maid service  Taliban kills 35 Afghan highway workers, fines doubled  Gay Los Angeles police officer wins $1 million judgment in retaliation case. He thanked his legal team of Sailor, Construction Dude, Indian Chief, and Leather Guy with mustache, and also Tom Cruise for some reason  Researchers find whales speak in accents to their extended family. Scientists listen by use of podcast  Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass

Sports:  Indian blind cricket team to tour Pakistan, play against other sight-impaired teams. First match is against the Pakistani intelligence team tasked to find Bin Laden  Yo dawg, we heard that Oklahoma linebacker Austin Box passed away, so we'll put Box in a box so you can mourn while you can mourn  Jason Giambi hits three home runs and becomes second-oldest player to hit three home runs in one game in MLB history. Best use of wood by a middle-aged man since Arnold Schwarzenegger

Geek:  Gene fights cancer, but also causes cancer. What the hell is your problem, Gene?  Scientists discover bacteria strain that kills blood-suckers. The sparkling. Ends. Now.  The 10 best cars for audiophiles. I thought a full sized Dodge van with no windows...oh, AUDIOphiles, nevermind

Showbiz:  Lady Gaga gets "honorary degree" from MTV. The University of Phoenix suddenly seems much more credible  Jake Gyllenhaal sues over photoshopped underwear photo. After viewing photo, judge decides case will be heard in small claims court  Katy Perry forbids chauffeurs from making eye contact with her. If only there were some distractions to keep the chaffeurs from looking into her eyes

Politics:  The effect of Huckabee's pullout on Bachmann could turn 'er campaign into overdrive, although we ain't see nothin' yet  Newt Gingrich's campaign may be on its deathbed as GOP donors dump him for more attractive candidates  Romney: Obama threw Israel under the bus. In Obama's defense though, in Israel that's safer than being on the bus

Music:  Duran Duran forced to cancel the opening dates of their UK tour due due due due due due due due due due due due due due due to laryngitis  Actual headline: "Justin Bieber To Create Female Scent." Isn't that a given?  50 Cent reveals that he was adopted; will begin search for his birth parents, George Washington & Susan B. Anthony

Business:  De Beers gets new CEO. They shoulda gone with Ditka. Definitely Ditka  University of Phoenix under investigation for illegal recruiting tactics, including forgetting to mention to potential students that a degree from the University of Phoenix is only one-ply  Toro's profits up 32 percent. OLE
· · ·

Newest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Oldest

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.