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Chinese toddler opens his eyes...a little, close shave rubs out Brazilians, and Sherwood Schwartz's coconut coffin: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 7/10 - 7/16
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-19 3:21:53 PM (32 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-10 to Sat 2011-07-16:

  USPS may issue stamp honoring Wilt Chamberlain. Will only be for large packages overnight    img.fark.net

  Naked woman found dead after getting into a fight with a church statue. Police are looking for a carpenter in His early thirties for questioning    img.fark.net

  Chinese toddler who fell 10 stories wakes from coma and opens eyes, but not too much    img.fark.net

  US to sell F-16s to Iraq to help counterbalance Iran, but don't worry - these are the ones with cassette players and roll-down windows and no keyless entry    img.fark.net

  Former SEALs upset that Discovery Channel's 'Secrets of SEAL Team Six' documentary may have put team members at risk. Network executives busy trying to remove mysterious red dot that's appeared on their chests    img.fark.net

  Man selling breathalyzer tests to bar patrons, who question why it takes five minutes to blow in the tube    img.fark.net

  Iowa State Fair to drastically increase police security. Organizers hope to stop theft and assaults, keep residents from eating the butter sculpture    img.fark.net

  Mother accused of microwaving baby has another one in the oven    img.fark.net

  Two brothers in shampoo fight sent to jail for reconditioning    img.fark.net

  Man tries to abduct children in Romulus. Chairman Koval says the Tal Shiar are investigating    img.fark.net

  One-legged truck driver used boy for clutch. The job itself wasn't hard but he ended up having to work a lot of shifts    img.fark.net


Sports:

  It was a very close shave, but Americans rub out Brazilians, thanks to hot Boxx and incredible Solo performance, now on the way to World Cup climax    img.fark.net

  Rev. 6:9 - "And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: yea, that the Pirates were a game out at the break"    img.fark.net

  Robinson Cano wins Home Run Derby, giving the AFC home field advantage in the 2018 Pro Bowl    img.fark.net


Geek:

  "Being cyber-stalked is as bad as being raped, or in a war", reports Institute for Blowing Things Way Out of Proportion    img.fark.net

  Full set of teeth successfully grown in lab, scientists awarded with plaque    img.fark.net

  "How to Become a Beekeeper." Well, 1. Get some bees, and 2. Keep them    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

  Yoko Ono threatens to sue Scottish pub named in honor of John Lennon. Perhaps if they named a shot after him it would be okay    img.fark.net

  "Gilligan's Island" creator Sherwood Schwartz dies at 94. His coffin will be made entirely of coconuts    img.fark.net

  Elin Nordegren finds a new billionaire, hopefully one who knows how to keep his putz under control    img.fark.net


Politics:

  How President Obama can reclaim his green card, er, green cred. Cred. Sorry    img.fark.net

  After Obama's 'eat our peas' comment today, the USA Dry Pea & Lentil Council would like to remind you that peas are filled with country goodness and green peaness    img.fark.net

  Dems beat Republicans 7-2 in House baseball game, Republicans blame Fox News for only throwing them softballs in training    img.fark.net


Business:

  Tennis rivals John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg team up to launch their own line of underwear. Will only come in sets of three, four or five    img.fark.net

  Italy orders naked short sellers to disclose positions. Ewwww    img.fark.net

  Irish debt downgraded from Bushmills to warm Miller Lite    img.fark.net
· · ·

Super hunan determination, Kilimanjaro via trebuchet, and a clean snatch from Miss Brazil: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/3 - 7/9
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-14 7:02:37 PM (17 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, he's setting up new Fight Clubs studying at Columbia this week, but he should be back soon. In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-07-03 to Sat 2011-07-09:

img.fark.net  For your Sunday entertainment: The 100 Best Cheerleader Pics Ever. Sure, it's a slideshow, but really, it's just 100 mouseclicks. You can do that with one hand    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Woman in China catches toddler who falls 10 stories, displaying super hunan determination    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Miss Brazil robbed at gunpoint. It was a clean snatch    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Men shine lasers at LAPD helicopters. Cops quickly track them down by process of illumination    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Legless soldier aims for Mount Kilimanjaro. Now to find someone to pull the trigger on the trebuchet    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ronald Reagan monument unveiled outside London's US embassy. New statue promptly takes 15-point lead in GOP presidential poll    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Can of spray-on tan explodes, injuring six. YO, THE HUMANITY    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Taco Bell to bring Wi-Fi to nearly 6,000 locations. And if anyone knows how to deliver a speedy download, it's Taco Bell    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Police seek help in locating stolen newspaper vending machine, whatever the hell that is    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tropical storm Calvin gaining strength off Mexico's west coast, may soon transmogrify into a hurricane. Or a herd of snowmen. Or a T Rex flying a jet fighter    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Coast Guard searching for seven lost at sea. The missing described as a chubby boat captain, a skinny deck hand, two wealthy retirees, a beautiful actress, a farm girl, and a scientist    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Seven months after divorcing Eva Longoria, Tony Parker now dating 20-year-old French pageant queen. Once again he shows his awesome rebounding skills    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tour de France cyclist Frank Schleck accidentally ate a bee or wasp during Sunday's time trial. Doctors say other than catching a slight buzz, he'll be fine    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Indians successfully drive Yankees from their homeland. This is most certainly not a repeat from 1492    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  What can 2,914 female Australian twins teach us about orgasms? Besides that subby should learn to get his pants off faster, that is    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Are your index and ring fingers close to the same size? Congratulations on the long penis    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  New t-shirt built from piezoelectric film charges your cell phone by converting ambient sound to electricity. If you wear it to a Manowar show, you can power London for six hours    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Shipwreck? Check. Insanity from lead poisoning? Check. Possible cannibalism? Check. File under "classic British misadventure"    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Researchers have found that cockroaches prefer right turns, only have one look    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Co.cc blocked    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  CNN reports that sometimes companies pay attention when you tweet about them #ricromero    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Parasites make sex worthwhile, say scientists who clearly have never had children    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Katamari Damacy designer hired to help create an MMO set inside the minds of supernatural creatures. A game destined to be so weird, reading this headline gave you a contact high    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Arizona city has creative new fuel source. You've got to be shiattin' me    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Katie Holmes hits the water in spiffy bikini. Her belly button, unfortunately, was hit by a navel destroyer    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Chloe Sevigny gets a grip on fashion, chokes up, says it sucks, she's 'not excited by contemporary fashion'', will debut her own fashion line. Now that's a mouthful    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The artist Bow Wow reveals two secrets in his open letter to the public. 1) He has a new baby girl. 2) He has a tenuous relationship with literacy    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Sarah Palin was reportedly reduced to tears over footage of celebrities insulting her in her new documentary, and her old man got so pissed he tore his shirt off and peeled out of the theater parking lot in his IROC-Z    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Minnesota shutdown continues with 23,000 public employees now out of work. Government officials desperately hoping to end the shutdown before winter arrives in mid-August    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  House Speaker John Boehner admits he is putting the economy at risk for a double-dip, blames Obama and Costanza    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  GE gets $27B order for thrust reversers. SPOILER ALERT    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Clown Shoes' Tramp Stamp IPA will be renamed "Lower Back Tattoo" to avoid any conflicts with the NAWWRGTS (National Association of Women Who Regret Getting Tramp Stamps)    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Real estate value site Zillow finally sets its IPO price on paper, but it's really 20-30% less when it comes time to sell    img.fark.net
· · ·

Taliban solo albums, a note from the Applesauce Industry board, and a sweet $5.78 windfall: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/26 - 7/2
Posted by Drew at 2011-07-05 3:48:45 PM (14 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-26 to Sat 2011-07-02:

img.fark.net  L.A. unified schools issues new policy that says that only 10% of a student's grade will be based on homework. The other 90% will be based on their skill at rejecting teacher's sexual advances    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The head count around US nuke plants is soaring. Populations, too    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The Taliban in Pakistan splits up, citing creative differences, planned solo albums    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  28 bus riders sink into Bolivian    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Air quality alert confuses New Jersey residents, who don't know what the words "air" and "quality" mean together    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Prince Albert denies claims his fiancée tried to run away while he was in the can    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Japanese utility shareholders vote to keep nuclear energy, despite giant wave of opposition    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Money not necessarily key to happiness, according to economists who have never had to price check ramen noodles    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Four guys rob Five Guys; turns out three of the four guys worked at Five Guys and now each need one guy to convince twelve other guys not to lock them up with 500 other guys    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tumor undergoes surgery to have a Chavez removed from around it    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Experts say children account for 40 percent of all fireworks injuries, suggest parents remember that kids blow up so fast these days    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Ex-lightweight champ Juan Diaz to study law at Dartmouth. Now happy to be going from boxers to briefs    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  U.S. Open officials accused of making golf course super easy to ensure low scores, increase TV ratings. PGA spokesman denies the accusations while standing near the 77-yard par 4    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Formula 1 driver Mark Webber will be trained to fly Qantas jets. So much for "Qantas never crashes"    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Whales, plankton migrate across Northwest Passage, proving it has reopened. Tea, spice and silk traders said to be ecstatic    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Scientists finally finish sequencing Tasmanian devil DNA. There were no survivors    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cinnamon may help prevent Alzheimer's, says study funded by grant from Applesauce Industry Board    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Britney Spears has a ticket-selling strategy... FOR ME TO GROUPON    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Guy behind Chicago's doomed alternative radio station offers gold record from Radiohead's "OK Computer" if you kick in to publish book about the station's history. Story does not explain what a record--or a book--is    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Arnold and Maria will each walk away from the marriage with about $200 million. After lawyers fees, that's a sweet $5.78 windfall    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  I've got this headline, and it's farking golden. And I, I'm just not giving it up for farking nothing    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Bachmann: "President Obama fears me. He sees me as a serious, substantive competitor." Well, if that's true, clearly this Obama guy is absolutely nuts, and I can't imagine voting for him    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  President Obama will hold a rare press conference in the East Room at 11:30EDT. The East Room? Doesn't that face toward Mecca?    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  The head of the London Stock Exchange says the TMX talks are going well UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Congress considering giving oversight of investment advisers to Wall Street's own self-funded regulator. In other news, the Chicken Farmers of America have just signed a new security deal with International Fox    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Googol bids Brun's constant, Meissel-Mertens constant and pi in auction for Nortel Networks. Their irrational plan to sine the deal failed as competitors converged to form union against them. Subby apologizes for going off on a tangent    img.fark.net
· · ·

An early note on next year's World Fark Party in Las Vegas, and a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/19 - 6/25
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-28 2:09:12 PM, edited 2012-03-15 3:52:19 PM (241 comments) | Permalink

Hello everyone!

Been traveling a lot lately. I probably shouldn't even start a note saying that, it'd only be news if I wasn't.

Wanted to give folks a heads up, mark out your calendars for Mar 30 - Apr 1 next year in Las Vegas for the 2nd World Fark Nascon Meetup Name To Be Determined Later. We're getting a much earlier jump on things this time. Probably going to be at Treasure Island again since they did right by us, but we're still gonna bid it out to make sure we're getting the best deal for you. We should have location locked down much sooner than we did last time.

We're also planning on leaving a lot of free time for folks to come up with their own mini-outings; this worked extremely well last time. So on that note, be thinking about a couple of things:

1) who would you like to see as guests next year?
2) what kinds of mini-outings would you be interested in hosting?

Run those around in your head and we'll revisit this in a month or so.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-19 to Sat 2011-06-25:

img.fark.net  Pope: Look at the crime of sex abuse in the face. Altar Boy: Eyes are up here    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Study: Child dies in portable pool every five days. Well, get him out of there for Christ's sake    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Obama impersonator wasn't pulled due to his material -- he just went over three-fifths of his allotted time    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Epileptic girl reunited with missing dog, seizes the moment    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  "Pilot error" blamed for north-west Russia plane crash. Also, gravity    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Kansas raises speed limit to 75mph, thus making it easier to get out of Kansas    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Saskatchewan's population reaches record high, according to guy at Statistics Canada who is now counting on both hands    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Bones given back to Labrador, who had really just wanted steak    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Fox Lake claims another victim after their boat failed to remain fair & balanced    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  From the early 1900's until 1974, Michigan sterilized over 3,000 of its citizens. Why they stopped is still unclear    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  40,000 bottles of a schizophrenia medication recalled by Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen passes kidney stone. First time this season he gets three good innings of relief    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Winning her first match since her near fatal health issue, Serena Williams cries tears of joy for the first time. Big, muscular yet feminine tears of joy    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Dirk Nowitzki throws first pitch at Rangers game. Application from Lebron James denied because team was afraid the pitch would only get 3/4 of the way to the plate    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Ornithologists conclude birds that fly in packs, or "cluster flocking", are not more aerodynamic or efficient. Basically, it's a bunch of cluster flocking B.S.    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Australian researchers find spices can dramatically improve sex life. Best results came from Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Baby, Posh    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Lithium can prevent brain damage and has chosen touted for all the thyme purple public is non-gov non-toxic net knicker financial assets    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Angelina Jolie visits Mediterranean islands beset by refugee crisis. Your move, Jennifer Aniston    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Lindsay Lohan due in court for a "surprise probation violation hearing" for drinking. Uh, surprise for who?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Brian Wilson biopic in the works. As a proper tribute, the movie will only be available in mono    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Sarah Palin quits bus tour halfw    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Gay marriage passes in NY. Finally New York is just as cool as Iowa    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Five nuclear scientists working on the Iranian nuclear program died after their plane broke in mid-air and caught fire. Report says that technical failure was ruled out, but there israelly no way to tell what happened. Mossad been an accident    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Apple to start making TVs. Line to the world's most magical $3000, 720p set forms to the right    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Caarmaaker Saab caannot paay aautoworkers    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Facebook adds Netflix CEO to their queue, hope to have him in the mail within two days    img.fark.net
· · ·

Ascot ass caught, rabbis working for tips, and understanding alcohol's braining effects on the damage: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/12 - 6/18
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-21 12:10:22 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-12 to Sat 2011-06-18:

img.fark.net  Man without limbs declares intent to swim across bay. Buoy, that's something    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Men care more about their cars than their health, says researcher who obviously never owned a '65 Mustang    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Judge to copyright troll: "Your case is a sham. Shut your damn mouth and get out of my court." Copyright © 2011 Go Screw Yourself, Inc    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ascot ass caught, stole stole    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Al Qaeda publishes "hit list" of 40 Americans. No details as to who's on it, but your mom's not listed, since everyone hit it already    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Pentagon looking for people to build starship. Starship looking for people to build this city on rock and roll    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Turn right down boat ramp. Vehicle under water. Recalculating    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  5.2 magnitude earthquake rocks Anchorage. Shaken residents trying to get their Berings Strait    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Companion dog helps girl testify in NY rape case. How did he treat you? Rough. Can you describe his face? Rough. Is the man in the courtroom? Yip Yip. Let the record show the girl is pointing to the defendant    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Family of guinea pigs stolen from porch. Police kick their investigation into high Gere    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  A drunk woman ran into her ex yesterday. Then she backed up and ran into him again. She misses him sometimes    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  PGA golfer Harrison Frazar finally wins first tournament after 13 years and 355 tries. Congratulations pour in from fellow pros, golf fans, Susan Lucci    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Gang warfare alleged over Shaq sex tape. Defendant claims that's ridiculous, since everyone knows that Shaq can't approach the hole without help    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ohio State compliance director drives a courtesy car from a dealer that got season tickets in return. Guess he'll have to enter the National Compliance League supplemental draft now    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Apple developing technology that would disable the iPhone's camera while filming concerts or sporting events. Say hello to NanniPhone    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Understanding alcohol's braining effects on the damage    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Argentina and Chile say they have too many beavers, look to neighbor Brazil for ideas on how to shave their numbers    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  If you have a crush on Shannon Tweed, I have good news. If you have a crush on Gene Simmons, I have no idea why    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Fergie: "I'm young at heart." And crystal meth makes you look old at face    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Who would pay $486 for tickets to Broadway? Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Democratic Congressman introduces bill protecting rabbis' right to work for tips    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Our long national penis joke is finally over    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Report: Paul Ryan may personally benefit from preserving billions in taxpayer oil subsidies. In other news, there may be gambling in Casablanca    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Timberland acquired for $1.6 billion. Magoo holding out for more money    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Facebook denies losing users, using losers    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  TV huckster Don Lapre indicted by Grand Jury. Court documents to be published in tiny classified ads    img.fark.net
· · ·

Where did all the women come from? Notes from the Toronto Fark Party and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 6/5 - 6/11
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-14 4:07:29 PM, edited 2011-06-14 4:10:43 PM (32 comments) | Permalink

I was in Toronto this past weekend for one of three simultaneous Fark parties in three countries. We heard a bit from the folks in Cologne before Toronto got going, and I assume that when I woke up around 10am the following day that the New Orleans party was probably still going from the previous night.  I wish I could have gone to all three but I had a great time in Toronto.

I had an interesting conversation in Toronto about the expected ideal of what a general Farker actually looks like vs reality.  Everyone expects Fark parties to be sausage fests, but they're not. In fact lately, the last few I've been to have been nearly 50% women. Which is interesting to me because back in the early days of Fark the men to women ratio was 80/20 (it's 60/40) now. I'm not sure why that changed. We've never specifically targeted the male audience, that's just kind of how it was back in the day. I suspect the progress went something like this:

- TotalFarkers are allowed to buy subscriptions for other Farkers
- Turns out most of the bought subscriptions are for women, and cool women at that (smart, funny women don't take sh*t from people, etc.)
- Critical mass is reached with the female population, more women join

Just a guess, I've done no studies. I like it though.


Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-06-05 to Sat 2011-06-11:

img.fark.net  Cole's Law: Cabbage art, when correctly marketed, can sell for very high prices    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Identical twin friars born seconds apart 92 years ago, die hours apart. Finally, both were just tuckered out    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Jury selection begins in "Cleveland Strangler" case. Challenge is finding people who actually live in Cleveland and don't want to strangle people    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man kills himself after 10 failed attempts. Friends and family cite his 'never say die' attitude    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Manatee man finds class ring after 25 years, also hopes that scientists can make him human again    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Two men jump in Wisconsin river to cool off, are now at room temperature    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Leonard Stern, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 88. He will be ___________    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The US Balloon Corps celebrates 150 years of aerial reconnaissance, squeaky voices    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Crystal Lake girl dies. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Angry birds menacing Everett, WA residents. National Guard preparing to deploy pigs and poorly fastened lumber    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  BCS pokes hole in Trojans' 2004 title    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  All-Black Donald signs for Bath. E-I-E-I-O    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Indiana residents squabble over plans for a Larry Bird statue, saying a statue would depict his mobility too accurately    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Technology experts argue that Facebook will eventually kill Google because we'd all much rather ask our friends what the best place to find midget transformer porn is, rather than search for it anonymously    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  People judge the rapists by their offices, business cards    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Basement inventor creates low-cost artificial hand, immediately filling fellow basement dwellers with ideas on how to test it    img.fark.net


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Kim Kardashian threatens In Touch Weekly with big-ass lawsuit    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  NPR interviews Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars, who had to call an expert buddy during the interview because he wasn't sure if NPR was legit or not    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Lady Gaga planning "marathon" tour in 2012. So THAT'S what the Mayans were talking about    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Santorum begins his state-by-state tour to stimulate his base. And if there's one thing Santorum's good at, it's pro-state stimulation    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Weiner seeks to beat heat for his meat tweet and keep seat    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Newt Gingrich's senior aides resign en masse, presumably will join younger, more attractive candidate's campaign    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Comcast seeks to gain exclusive rights to air the Olympic games in 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020. Death Star construction begins in 2022    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Texas Instruments prepares for some serious 535507    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Winner of charity auction spends $2.3 million for lunch with Warren Buffett. Will get numerous investment tips, starting with don't spend $2.3 million to have lunch with anyone    img.fark.net
· · ·

Piss-poor balance, Jessica Simpson's shunning muumuu, and nobody expects the Spanish inhibition: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/29 - 6/4
Posted by Drew at 2011-06-07 2:54:22 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-29 to Sat 2011-06-04:

img.fark.net  Model and friend party in Atlanta hotel until they have a major falling out    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Restaurant owner dead after his Model A crashes. Officials cited the lack of seat belts, crumple zones, airbags, traction control, and anti-lock brakes as contributing factors    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Barcelona has such a problem keeping people clothed, they're actually levying fines against their citizens who insist on doing everything naked. Nobody expects the Spanish Inhibition    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Video captures "UFO squadron" over Oakland. The group was disorganized and apparently harmless, leading UFO researchers to believe that Al Davis was in charge of it    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Archaeologists find sealed tunnel underneath Teotihuacan temple, and like complete idiots decide to open it and release whatever unspeakable horror resides within    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man falls down embankment while urinating -- a clear case of piss-poor balance    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Parents sue school when their precious snowflake is barred from graduation ceremony for printing porn from school computer. They should be proud he actually learned a useful life skill in school    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Breast-feeding protest attendance sags, lacks support, and is mostly a bust    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  3-10 people shot in Yuma    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ohio considers boosting alcohol limit of beer to 18 percent, thereby helping citizens cope with reality of living in Ohio    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Little Leaguer killed when pitch hits chest. Boy's parents, boy, heartbroken    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Tressel divests himself from Ohio State    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Congrats to Tony Romo for getting married. That's the only way you were ever going to get a ring    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Shaq hints that he may join ESPN SportsCenter. If that doesn't work, he could always be a bricklayer    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Sturgeon death highlights the stressful demands of modern fishicians    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Astronomers release hot pics of Milky Way's twin. How you doin', NGC 6744?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Mastodon finds have Colorado ready to rock. *WICKED GUITAR SOLO*    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Nick Lachey and fiancee throw wedding shower. Jessica Simpson dons her shunning muumuu    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  "How Pawn Stars Launched a Hot New Genre and May Earn Academy Respect." This article is interesting and would look great on my web browser, but I'm going to need an expert to take a look at it    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Hayden Panettiere washes her hands of dirty Sanchez rumors    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  President of Abkhazia dies. Death Eaters inconsolable    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Chris Christie, champion of cutting wasteful spending, arrives at his son's baseball game in a police helicopter. No word on how said helicopter managed to stay airborne    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Former Senator John Edwards indicted for using campaign money to poll the electorate    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Zillow aims to be the first one-letter symbol on the NASDAQ. Really? That's so interestiZzzzzzzz    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Toyota recalls 106,000 Prius cars over a loose nut. Hasn't Al Gore suffered enough?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Asian stocks get plowed, require blurring out of the naughty parts    img.fark.net
· · ·

A quick note on the redesign, and some of Fark's favorite headlines from 5/22 - 5/28
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-31 5:41:21 PM (199 comments) | Permalink

Over the last week (or two if you're a TFer), you've probably noticed the option to take a look at the redesign that's going live June 1. If you haven't seen it yet, you can check it out here. Basically, we like to update the Fark periodically, make it easier to use and more intuitive. Unlike last time when we just dropped it on you, we figured we'd let you check it out in advance and get used to it, as well as give us feedback on where things were broken so that we could get them all fixed up before we pushed the final design live.

We've received a lot of feedback, so much in fact that we're still getting to the responses as we can. I wanted to say thanks for that; you've helped us fix small issues that we probably wouldn't have found in time, even searching across multiple OS and browser configurations like we were. That's appreciated. A few of us have asked if we'll be changing mobile right after this. The answer is that we don't have an overhaul planned immediately, but we'll probably continue to make small changes to make Fark look more consistent with the new design on mobile devices.

Where possible, we're doing our best to accommodate your recommendations and fold them into the design. For instance, we'll be redesigning the Keep Farking button to keep that in, although it'll just be a link until we re-do it. But it'll be there as a link so you can continue to use it.

A few of you have expressed some frustration that the music tab will be going away, and that's understandable. It's been an issue for a while, though. Whenever we have a tab, we feel the need to keep the tab filled with new links every day, and we just weren't getting enough good links to the Music tab. There were fewer submitters to the tab and so the pickings were not as good as we hoped, but we greenlit a lot anyway to keep the tab from drying up completely. We'll still have the content, but it'll just continue to be on the Showbiz tab and the Video tab (where most of the good stuff is cross-posted already).

Anyway, that's all for now. Thanks for being patient and if the design seems a bit foreign now, hopefully it won't feel too weird for too long and after a few days it'll feel normal.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-22 to Sat 2011-05-28:

img.fark.net  Missing model car pulled from the murky Chicago River. This is a tragedy on a 1:25th scale    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  NPR reports on the Miss Shrimp Festival, Miss Shrimp Pageant, Miss Shrimp Ceremony, Miss Shrimp Party, Miss Shrimp Gala, Miss Shrimp Carnival, Miss Shrimp Fair, Miss Shrimp Parade, Miss Shrimp Ball, Miss Shrimp Reception    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Court postpones and relocates case of obese woman after she cannot fit through court doors for trial. Lawyers and defendant all looking for a change of menu    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Armed robbery of Radio Shack yields $23.57, 3 cordless phones, 20 feet of speaker wire, a handful of BNC connectors and an undisclosed number of 9 volt batteries    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The newest police tool for taping searches - sunglasses cameras. Guess they want to try and record any....shady behavior. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Grimsvotn volcano in Iceland stops spewing ash, wants to cuddle    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Horse turned away from McDonald's drive thru. Later accepted at the Deliveries door    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Semi carrying rubbing alcohol overturns; accident cleans itself up    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man sues for $15K in damages after being injured by rose thorn. That must be some prick    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Historic Miami Herald newspaper building sold to Malaysian company, who plans to turn it into sweatshop with overworked, underpaid laborers... oh, wait    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Car carrying $1M coin collection rolls over and crashes, dumping entire load across highway -- resulting in unexpected lane change    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Female softball umpire accused of getting into the minors    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  New York votes to legalize mixed martial arts matches. All rules to be carefully enforced, fighters to punch in and punch out    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  NFL, Cowboys want Super Bowl seating suit tossed. Lawyers told to find a seat and wait for judge... oh, there aren't any seats available? So sorry... sucks, doesn't it?    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  The modern bikini introduced 65 years ago by French designer. Undoubtedly the best navel experiment of all times    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Spiders suffer from human impact, according to Rolled-Up Newspaper University    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Physicists determine that the shape of the electron is surprisingly round, and will now be known as the "Kardashian particle"    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  'Lost' actress Evangeline Lilly gives birth to a baby boy. At least somebody on that show had a defined exit strategy    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Kim Kardashian is writing a novel, presumably about Deep Space Nine    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  "Cease" is the word for Jeff Conaway    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Georgians continue to protest their president, seemingly unaware that Carter's been out of office for decades    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Barney Frank admits to helping his lover land a coveted position in Fannie    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Palin to embark on short bus tour this weekend    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  And now, a Chinese bluegrass band. Oh brother, where art Chao  

img.fark.net  Eddie Vedder releases new album in which he explores unintelligible mumbling in a whole new way    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Court refuses to reconsider Phil Spector's appeal, use of NewsFlash tag    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  Cisco sued for collaboration with Chinese internet repression, faking optolythic data rod recordings    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Costco third-quarter profit rises, proving Americans will always find a way to use five gallons of mayonnaise in a tub    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Rocketdyne launches 300 employees to the unemployment line. There will be no re-entry to their workplace    img.fark.net
· · ·

Some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/15 - 5/21
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-24 2:58:37 PM (19 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No update from Drew this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-15 to Sat 2011-05-21:

img.fark.net  Carnival worker falls to his death from Ferris wheel. If you can guess how much he weighs, you win a teddy bear    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Is that a needle in your pocket or are you just Hep C to see me?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The reason for the hasta la vista? Baby    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Virus leaked social security numbers of unemployed, offering identity thieves chance to get turned down for credit    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  People, don't bring your seven-year-old to your drug deals. They usually can't lay down effective suppressing fire when you rip off the dealer    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Zoo animals face budget knife. And fork    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Ex-IMF chief Strauss-Kahn granted $1 million bail and will be confined to home detention. No word yet on whether he will have maid service    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Taliban kills 35 Afghan highway workers, fines doubled    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Gay Los Angeles police officer wins $1 million judgment in retaliation case. He thanked his legal team of Sailor, Construction Dude, Indian Chief, and Leather Guy with mustache, and also Tom Cruise for some reason    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Researchers find whales speak in accents to their extended family. Scientists listen by use of podcast    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Pope makes first-ever phone call to bless astronauts. He says even though Catholics in space are weightless, they still need mass    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Indian blind cricket team to tour Pakistan, play against other sight-impaired teams. First match is against the Pakistani intelligence team tasked to find Bin Laden    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Yo dawg, we heard that Oklahoma linebacker Austin Box passed away, so we'll put Box in a box so you can mourn while you can mourn    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Jason Giambi hits three home runs and becomes second-oldest player to hit three home runs in one game in MLB history. Best use of wood by a middle-aged man since Arnold Schwarzenegger    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  Gene fights cancer, but also causes cancer. What the hell is your problem, Gene?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Scientists discover bacteria strain that kills blood-suckers. The sparkling. Ends. Now.    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  The 10 best cars for audiophiles. I thought a full sized Dodge van with no windows...oh, AUDIOphiles, nevermind    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Lady Gaga gets "honorary degree" from MTV. The University of Phoenix suddenly seems much more credible    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Jake Gyllenhaal sues over photoshopped underwear photo. After viewing photo, judge decides case will be heard in small claims court    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Katy Perry forbids chauffeurs from making eye contact with her. If only there were some distractions to keep the chaffeurs from looking into her eyes    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  The effect of Huckabee's pullout on Bachmann could turn 'er campaign into overdrive, although we ain't see nothin' yet    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Newt Gingrich's campaign may be on its deathbed as GOP donors dump him for more attractive candidates    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Romney: Obama threw Israel under the bus. In Obama's defense though, in Israel that's safer than being on the bus    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  Duran Duran forced to cancel the opening dates of their UK tour due due due due due due due due due due due due due due due to laryngitis    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Actual headline: "Justin Bieber To Create Female Scent." Isn't that a given?    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  50 Cent reveals that he was adopted; will begin search for his birth parents, George Washington & Susan B. Anthony    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  De Beers gets new CEO. They shoulda gone with Ditka. Definitely Ditka    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  University of Phoenix under investigation for illegal recruiting tactics, including forgetting to mention to potential students that a degree from the University of Phoenix is only one-ply    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Toro's profits up 32 percent. OLE    img.fark.net
· · ·

Dubai cruel world, magnetic boy who may be a Pole, Huckabee Fin: some of Fark's favorite headlines for 5/8 - 5/14
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-17 1:09:19 PM (12 comments) | Permalink

From Unfreakable:

No post from Drew this week, he's out of town doing important Fark-related ninja stuff. Or he's drinking.

Those of you who will be at the Chicago this Saturday for the Fark party at the Lincoln Tap Room can ask him directly.

Enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-05-08 to Sat 2011-05-14:

img.fark.net  Autism rates are 28.141529768694978477683949% higher than previously thought    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  To avoid jealous husbands, Indian state tells new brides to avoid talking too much on cell phones for the first two years of marriage, or just switch to AT&T service    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man falls off ATV and is run over by mowing equipment. Don't miss this ripped-from-the-headlines story on the next episode of "Lawn Order." *DUN DUN*    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Homeless man 'compacted' in garbage truck escapes serious injury. He doesn't want to deal with the press right now    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Mississippi River swells to six times its normal width, but it's mostly water weight    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Man commits suicide off world's tallest building in UAE. Dubai cruel world    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Mississippi flooding moving south, because Missouri loves company    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Police investigating an illegal mushroom grow operation find mason jars, syringes, a copy of High Times, and a tribe of sparkling green talking Aztec owls burrowing out from a chimney that was aglow with all the colors in the known universe    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Tomorrow is World Naked Gardening Day. Makes sure to keep those bushes trimmed, folks    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Students burned by sodium hydroxide at Obama middle school, proving that he'll lye to just about anyone    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Four-year-old-boy gets foot stuck in escalator, leading to several minutes of uncomfortable stairs    img.fark.net


Sports:

img.fark.net  Now available from ChelseaStoreUSA.com, the 2010-2011 commemorative one-piece cutlery set. Comes complete in a beautiful box with absolutely no silverware    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Pittsburgh beats LA, 4-1, sending statisticians scrambling to find the last time the Pirates were a game over .500 this late in the season    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  900-lb statue of Shaq set to be unveiled on LSU's campus this summer. Weighs half as much as the real Shaq, but is twice as accurate at the FT line    img.fark.net


Geek:

img.fark.net  "Bad" cholesterol not as bad as thought, according to recent studies by scienticians at the Pizzaburger Institute    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Powerful class of insect repellent discovered. You still can't beat OFF    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Six-year-old Croatian boy has magnetic powers. Local residents don't recognize him, think he might be a Pole    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img.fark.net  Whitney Houston to return to film after 15 years. I hope she can remember her lines    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Katy Perry still DDoesn't unDDerstanDD why people maDDe such a big DDeal over the Sesame Street appearance she starreDD in that proDDucers ultimately pulleDD from the show    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Salma Hayek officially kicks off the Cannes Film Festival. How appropriate    img.fark.net


Politics:

img.fark.net  Iran urging Damascus to go easy on protesters. Not sure if Syrians    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  George Mitchell to step down as US Mideast envoy, open frozen banana stand    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Huckabee Fin    img.fark.net


Music:

img.fark.net  People discovering that music can have a remarkable healing power. Except for songs by Pitbull, which causes patients to jam sharp objects into their ears    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Amy Winehouse says she wants to move to the country and start a family. Sounds like a great idea for a Deliverance prequel    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Keith Richards is back in the studio. He has no idea how he got there    img.fark.net


Business:

img.fark.net  AT&T finds itself in a predicament: if their proposed takeover of T-Mobile doesn't work out, they must pay Deutsche Telekom about $6 billion. But if it does work out, they own T-Mobile    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Cisco prepares to redirect most of their jobs to 127.0.0.1    img.fark.net

img.fark.net  Yahoo downgraded to a halfhearted yay    img.fark.net
· · ·


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