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Fark NotNewsletter: I know you, I Farked with you once upon a dream
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-03-10 11:56:46 AM (35 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been going well.

Something pretty cool has been happening lately that I wanted to share with you.  I've been seeing login names reappearing on Fark that I haven't seen in some cases for years. I'm not sure what the cause is, but I have a clue: at least one person mentioned the big shift in news cycle as of late.  And as luck would have it, there's a great Axios article on it today: America is learning to rebalance its news diet post-Trump. Which I totally understand.  Most of the past four years it felt like the news cycle was relentless.  But whatever it is, welcome back, everyone!  I have a favor to ask you: If you know other expats on other platforms, especially folks that just want to know what's in the news without all the other baggage that comes along with social media, tell them to come on home.

The next Fark News Livestream will be 7 p.m. tomorrow (Thursday), you can catch yesterday's stream at Twitch.  We're going to try to do another movie night Friday, so stay tuned for that one.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
born_yesterday was not intimidated by uptight teachers complaining about girls' clothing
fragMasterFlash worried about Icelandic volcano Sundhnjúkagígaröð í Þráinsskjaldarhrauni erupting
foo monkey sympathized with the "Russian Popeye" MMA fighter who injected petroleum jelly into his arms
skyotter came around on a site that points to your mouse pointer
Driver showed a tattoo that's scarily on topic in a discussion about armpit love
UberDave was familiar with the practice of schools promoting students who failed all their classes
RTOGUY had a suggestion when a British holiday park was caught discriminating against Irish people
SirDigbyChickenCaesar claimed to have a way with the ladies
abhorrent1 stated the problem when astronauts discovered nekked photos attached to their spacesuits
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs thought of something even worse than naming a volcano Sundhnjúkagígaröð í Þráinsskjaldarhrauni

Smart:
RodneyToady addressed the idea that consent means knowing exactly what you want ahead of time
MillionDollarMo showed who it makes you look like when you post comments criticizing a woman's appearance
FLMountainMan gave simple advice to anyone who's unsure about consent
Alphax noticed a strange ingredient seems to have made its way into school dress codes
FightDirector discussed how the "code of chivalry" applied to women
styckx recalled another fashion trend that alarmed school administrators, and the inspiration behind it
markie_farkie shared beautiful photos and some information about the area around Sundhnjúkagígaröð í Þráinsskjaldarhrauni
log_jammin went to a school that had a hilariously stupid rule about Trapper Keepers

CSB Sunday Morning: The moment that changed your life
Smart: Otera had two major life events over two days
Funny: donotdoit's fark login also served as advice

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Beeblebrox welcomed some friends to TotalFark Discussion
Funny: Murflette noted that there's one age group with absolutely no sense of humor
Smart: withay showed us shiny metal and glass
Funny: MethySophocles responded to the idea of men of a certain height being told to sit down to tinkle
Funny: Fonty Usement discussed sounding libidinous to other TotalFark Discussion readers

Politics Funny:
whither_apophis was alarmed by a description of the vehicle Madison Cawthorn drove in college
OdradekRex came up with a defense for people who're tracked down because their phones were in the Capitol during the insurrection
eurotrader explained why every member of the family needs a gun
mrshowrules noticed the problem with providing criminal defense to certain tech pioneers
bingethinker described the "many Americans" who are concerned about recent changes to immigration policy

Politics Smart:
ShavedOrangutan thought Jen Psaki asks the right kind of question
Pocket Ninja brought up another reason for Read Across America to move on from emphasizing Dr. Seuss books
bloobeary pointed out that an image tweeted by Nazi-riddled social networking website Gab had a certain feel to it (this observation was on the nose)
JerseyTim came up with an alternative ending to a Fark headline
NewportBarGuy commented on the irony of the fact that some people without brains do an awful lot of talking


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
NeoMoxie shared a surprisingly negative cover of Architectural Digest
RedZoneTuba assembled a very important emergency kit
BrutonGaster needed just one more car
Yammering_Splat_Vector redecorated John Travolta's living room
samsquatch is a terrible cook
Circusdog320 got ready to board the party boat
Terrapin Bound put pigs on the wing on a ship on the ocean
RedZoneTuba demonstrated the hive mind of cars in a queue
Terrapin Bound took a dip in Roger waters
kabloink launched a rocket ship of hope
Stephen_Falken designed the very best weather vane, and I'd buy it if I could

Fartist Friday: Internet meme haiku
This one ended in a tie between iodized attic salt's philosophical musing and Destructor's case of mistaken identity

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Pi in the Sky: Using any medium, create an image using a sky scene with the Pi symbol, the numbers 3.14, apple pie, pizza pie, moon pie, etc. -- up in the sky! Put a Moon Pie all up in Van Gogh's Starry Night. A sky full of Pi symbol-shaped clouds. The pi's the limit!

Farktography: Your happy place
Lovesandwich's happy place just keeps rollin' along in Canada


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where we learned that I can't spell the names of cheap liquor properly. On the Quiz itself, runwiz ran away with first place and a spot in the 1000 club with a score of 1010, followed by rcw00 in second with 977 and YabbaDabbaDouchebag in third with 964. the_colonel made fourth with 955, and MrCynical rounds out the top five with 940.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about Edvar Munch and his most famous painting, "The Scream." Only 40% of quiztakers knew that the inscription "Can only have been painted by a madman" is on the very first version he painted (there are four) which is held in the National Gallery, located in his hometown of Kristiana - what is now Oslo, Norway. Interesting tidbit - the title he gave the work in German is "Der Schrei der Natur ," or "The Scream of Nature." Entries from his diary indicate the feeling he had that inspired the work was nature itself that was screaming - indicating the person shown in the painting is not the one making "The Scream," but instead reacting to it.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over where the Black Forest Rambo was apprehended. 100% of quiztakers knew it was the Black Forest, and 97% of those knew the Black Forest could be found in Germany, or at your local Deli. I prefer Honey Smoked ham myself on a sandwich, but Black Forest is good on crackers or with a strong cheese.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which book is going out of print after this year despite 200 million copies being printed in 2016 alone. Only 49% of quiztakers knew it was the IKEA catalogue that would no longer be distributed on paper, and folks would have to purchase online or in the store and then order the missing Allen wrench from their local hardware store catalogue while cursing in Swedish and trying to figure out what that extra wood block is for. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about prospective moose identifiers. 88% of quiztakers knew that to get free lessons on Møøse Identification (very helpful in case you're in a situation where there are no friendly Canadians around), you could go to Jackson Hole Møøse Training where you could learn to identify a Møøse and then help with the great Møøse Count on Møøse Day in the state of Wyoming. Just please keep your sister safe and all that. 

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Manufactured in a facility that processes squirrel nuts 🌰🐿
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-03-03 2:06:48 PM (28 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been going well.

I haven't seen a news cycle like this in years.  Politics has gotten so boring that MSM is having to search around for other stories, and we're starting to see a level of weird that has been missing for years.  Link submitters are crushing it lately with headlines.  I'm loving it.

Been working with the focus group off and on, it's going well.  I should be able to announce next week what we've been discussing - basically it's a framework that needs to be built before the swear jar to allow new features to be built in a similar vein.  I'll be taking this to TotalFarkers first so keep an eye out for that. Sign up for TotalFark to join the discussion!

On the Fark Livestream front, Dallan's been bogged down with Real Job stuff, but we're going to stream possibly later today and hopefully tomorrow as well.  Keep an eye on the schedule, we'll try to keep it updated.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
vygramul pointed out the villain in a video showing a truck backing off of a pole the driver had somehow gotten it stuck on
Redh8t defended Sean Connery's body of work
Asylum2020 bragged about being able to guarantee satisfaction in bed
emersonbiggins discussed a lawsuit by a woman who was fired by a prison after her tampon was detected by a body scanner
Abe Vigoda's Ghost checked in on a thread about Abe Vigoda's 100th birthday
dothemath figured out who took Lady Gaga's dogs
Spartapuss showed us the author of an article about how long sex should last
NeoCortex42 asked a question about Tiger Woods' car accident
SVC_conservative was worried about someone's "hottie" customer
Dr Jack Badofsky misread a headline about the "lactating Golden Globes"

Smart:
Diogenes took the question "What is Salesforce really selling" literally
King Something compared oil spills from transporting oil through pipelines to spills from transporting it via trains and trucks
Abe Vigoda's Ghost checked in on a thread about Abe Vigoda's 100th birthday
thehobbes put the current state of the pandemic into perspective for a some students
Don't read the headline or article for this comment. Just read skyotter's comment out of context. It's better this way.
hlehmann shared a CSB about Dad's experience after being drafted into the Luftwaffe

CSB Sunday Morning: The strangest food you've ever eaten
Smart: Unobtanium talked about eating Indian food for the first time
Funny: aRegularJoe_aRegularJob sampled the local cuisine in Afghanistan

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village gave advice on what to wear when meeting a new neighbor who happens to be single
Smart: Mikey1969 shared excellent news
Smart: withay made a cute and pretty thing
Smart: Shakespeare's Monkey revealed the perfect time to introduce yourself to a new neighbor
Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat knew of a Facebook page that rivals one wondering when it's acceptable to use a racial slur

Politics Funny:
I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise was surprised by the diversity of the Oath Keepers
kkinnison showed how the dog Ted Cruz and family left behind feels about the public's reaction to Cruz running off to Cancun
puffy999 explained why West Virginia was doing such a good job of getting people vaccinated
mrshowrules proved that the snow in Texas was indeed fake
stoli n coke reacted to a strange video Donald Trump Jr. put out attacking teachers

Politics Smart:
markie_farkie discussed what New York is doing to aid in prosecuting Trump
tjsands1118 looked at a common perception of "minimum wage"
grchunt listed some reasons to allow access to government assistance programs to noncitizens
MattytheMouse thought that Ted Cruz giving water to Texans looked like a somewhat familiar act
propasaurus rephrased the part of Ted Cruz's CPAC speech where he talked about Black Lives Matter


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
bugdozer brought "The Far Side" to life
Alligator showed a groom who didn't appear to think it was a nice day to start again
Nick Nostril gave a hint as to why this couple shall be wed
Yammering_Splat_Vector found this man reading hyperlocal news
Terrapin Bound really ruined these trumpets
RedZoneTuba found out this couple was having yet another fight
GoodDoctorB caught a droid that was feeling horn-y
Yammering_Splat_Vector shared a photo of a young Bernie Sanders and his bride
samsquatch took taxidermy to a whole new level
Alligator showed what happens every time a boat owner sees a bigger boat
Herb Utsmelz proved that some people just don't learn from their mistakes

Fartist Friday: Design your own Dream Mars Rover or Mars Gadget
Destructor used graph paper and a pencil to become the constructor of a destructor

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Ermahgerd it's a herku! Write an ode to an internet meme in the form of a haiku. A tribute to Leeeroy Jenkins, an homage to Grumpy Cat, a ditty about Doge.

Farktography: Black and White 5
CiliarySpasm captured a dizzy moment at the fair


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm still at a loss for understanding the economics of mobile games. On the Quiz itself, edmo came out on top with a score of 999, followed by yayamon in second with 943 and Denjiro in third with 941. Crooked Ref made fourth with 912, and Civchic made fifth with 901.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which former Trump Property was demolished in Atlantic City last week. Only 41% of quiztakers knew that it was the former Trump Plaza which met its fate. The Trump Taj Mahal now operates as the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, and Trump 29 is now once again the Spotlight 29 after the branding deal with the Twenty-Nine Palms Band of Mission Indians expired and was not renewed. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over the explorer Howard Carter and where he was on February 16, 1923. 87% of quiztakers knew that he discovered the tomb of "boy king" Tutankhamun, a remarkable find because it appeared to have not been disturbed since it was first sealed nearly 2,000 years before. However, it would be another 63 years before LA pop group The Bangles were able to truly monetize the discovery with their synth-pop hit "Walk Like an Egyptian." 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which band wrote and performed the song "Boss of Me" used as the opening credits for the 90s sitcom "Malcolm in the Middle." Only 58% of quiztakers knew that it was They Might Be Giants who won a Grammy for the song. The band also performed the theme from "The Oblongs", "Brave New World", and "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was also about TV theme music - specifically the song "The Fishin' Hole." 88% of quiztakers knew this was the theme of "The Andy Griffith Show." Earle Hagen, who composed and performed the song (as well as other music in the show) was rather prolific - he also composed themes for shows ranging from "The Dick Van Dyke Show" to "That Girl!" and "The Mod Squad", and even "Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer."

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: We can land robots on Mars...
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-02-24 11:51:22 AM (35 comments) | Permalink

... but we can't keep an airplane from dropping parts on Colorado.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been going well.

Things are starting to thaw out around here.  Here in Kentucky we just went nearly six weeks with temperatures barely cracking the 40s.  That all changes this week though, today is day two of a 60-degree melt-off.  And it's sunny.  I think I'm going to move my workstation outside for the foreseeable future.

A quick update - last week I asked if anyone was interested in joining a focus group for a thing we're building.  Thanks to everyone who responded, we've got our group.  Things are taking a little longer on our end because a couple brainstorming sessions made it clear that we needed to broaden the scope of what we were attempting, so I'm back at the drawing board.  More on all this soon.

This week on the Fark News Livestream - we might do one tonight at 7 p.m., depends on if the news cycle cooperates.  It's been refreshingly full of silly junk lately, but the frequency is down quite a bit.  So it'll be a game time decision, we may kick it to tomorrow.  Same thing happened on Monday and Tuesday, too little material for Monday but plenty for Tuesday.  Speaking of which, yesterday's episode took a dark and hilarious turn - some folks may want to watch one of the segments with their eyes closed. You'll know which one.  Looks like we can do a Friday movie night as well. Last week's Italian "Conan" ripoff was surprisingly watchable.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
gopher321 recognized the large ring that fell off a plane and landed right in front of a house
Cheron explained why people in Baton Rouge drove around barricades to cross an icy bridge
AdmirableSnackbar figured out why the insulation was burning off some power lines
Herr Morgenstern thought the decor was weirder than the lack of a baby boom
Xcott noted that there's a spokesperson on the site
Ivo Shandor explained why an article about "'plot holes' that the movies actually explained, but the audience didn't notice" had some repeated items
Ivo Shandor described the trouble a United Airlines flight ran into
JerseyTim had a plan all worked out for watching the four-hour Snyder cut of "Justice League"
Bootleg figured out a seeming inconsistency in an article about an alleged carjacker who was shot by a carjacking victim
emersonbiggins defended drivers in Louisiana who crossed an iced-over bridge after going around barricades
Professor Science tried to work out how a large piece of debris fell from a plane and landed the way it did

Smart:
Ishkur argued that there's an entire culture set up to allow followers to live in a bubble
pxlboy gave one reason why it's not a good idea to attribute someone's bad behavior to mental illness
Karma Chameleon had a complaint about the Perseverance rover landing on Mars
bingethinker spoke words of truth to people who refer to face masks as "face diapers"
freidog put the success of the Perseverance mission into perspective
vudukungfu noted how times have changed since an accidental transmission of the word "HATEFULNESS" triggered the emergency alert system in 1971
Sergeant Angle shared important background information about an icy bridge people went around barriers to drive over
AliceBToklasLives had a theory about what makes people hate certain bands

CSB Sunday Morning: That one roommate you'll never forget
Smart: luddite v2.0 had bad luck with roommates until having very good luck with one
Funny: Salted Metal Honey remembers the roommate's cousin more than the actual roommate

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Murflette had good news if you're looking for a particular kind of flashlight
Funny: Louisiana_Sitar_Club helpfully showed that MissFeasance's injured finger wasn't feeling so bad
Funny: ytterbium found a lot of potential helpers after a heavy snow
Funny: discgolfguru told someone who was upset about a lost pencil how to keep from letting the pandemic get to you
Smart: meat0918 advised a Farker with a choice between a chiropractic adjustment or a massage
Funny: Beeblebrox knew exactly what you should do if you find out your husband has been cheating on you

Politics Funny:
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That considered how Rush Limbaugh's death could change things
EdwardTellerhands had plans now that Limbaugh has passed
Officer Barrelroll explained why Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez raised money to help people in Texas
clodcomplex updated a book from 1996
Moderator commented on the news that Texas turned blue
Dahnkster shared a tweet from Senator Amy Klobuchar

Politics Smart:
FlashHarry was glad for a couple of things Rush Limbaugh lived to see
NeoCortex42 remembered the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner
Chariset pointed out a little snag for the new Trump-loving Patriot Party of Wisconsin
Hoban Washburne defended the Bidens' elderly dog, Champ (unbelievably, this needed to be done)
Noticeably F.A.T. figured out the perfect example of the phrase "stupid is as stupid does"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
bugdozer reminded us about the most important time of the day
Yammering_Splat_Vector found the lesser-known brother of the father of the hydrogen bomb
opalakea put up a sign that either warns about rude behavior or encourages it
cowgirl toffee knew where this guy bought his fancy chair
Octafrye found your mom's salad
samsquatch checked this battery for a charge
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered the real reason they're called cephalopods
RedZoneTuba put on an ice show
samsquatch was cruisin' for a bruisin'
bugdozer taught us all about the self-assured sparrow
cowgirl toffee gave this bird the appropriate clothing

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Volume 6
N8ball designed and constructed a disco ball to outshine them all

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week it's a F'Artiste tribute to Mars and its rovers. Design your own Dream Mars Rover or Gadget using any medium. A Mars rover with a 3D printer AND an Easy-Bake oven? A Mars drone that sprints samples back to Earth AND shoots fireworks out its butt? The sky's the limit!

Farktography: Hoofin' it
beerrun found the guardian of the tower
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Beware of wampas
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-02-17 2:31:19 PM, edited 2021-02-17 2:45:59 PM (68 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from DisseminationMonkey:  
________________________ 

Winter weather is really farking with a lot of the U.S. right now. If you're in an area experiencing some of the worst of it, please feel free to stop by the Fark NotNewsletter thread to check in if you're able to, and also to offer assistance if you might be in a position to help your fellow Farkers. Fark has a great community and we love you all and hope you're safe. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey
________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week is going well.

This time last week, Kentucky was about to get slammed by an ice storm. We have them every few years and sometimes lose power for up to a week. Luckily we only got .25 inches of ice, which was enough to lose some power lines but not most.  Then this week, Kentucky got hit by another bad storm, with a third on deck to start later tonight or tomorrow.  So far we've avoided losing power, but meanwhile in Texas, things look pretty rough.  Here's hoping temperatures bounce back soon.

On a related note, Dallan did lose power at his house and I haven't heard from him in a bit.  If he pops up, we'll try to do a Fark Livestream sometime around 5 p.m., if he doesn't, we'll have to push 'til tomorrow.  Also a Friday Fark Movie night is unlikely, I have a trip I can't avoid making that involves being in a car for awhile, possibly in the middle of a winter storm.  However, if things work out it might be possible to do one late.  Keep an eye out for a link on Fark, and we try to keep the schedule updated on our Twitch channel (sometimes the update doesn't go through).

As luck would have it, Dallan just popped up.  5:30 p.m. Eastern on Twitch, see you all there!

For TotalFarkers - I've got another thing I want to run by you, but I need a smaller focus group for this one because it's a little complex.  We probably should do it over email.  If you're one of those people who has hundreds of ideas and wants in on this, drop me an email (drew at Fark) and I'll convene everyone on Friday.  I'll pop the results up on TotalFark once the idea is more coherent.  Want to join the convo but don't have TotalFark?  You can fix that today!

That's all for this week, see you next week!

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
moos wondered about a woman's 22-hour emergency room visit after spraying glue in her hair
vygramul made an iceberg photo a little easier to make out
toraque commented on a young "Jeopardy!" champion's death
sithon defended sleeping with your wife's adult daughter
RogueWallEnthusiast explained why a woman who sprayed Gorilla Glue on her hair needn't wear a wig
Riche had to brag a little
HighlanderRPI summed up what two sanitation workers did to save a child from a kidnapper
Autoerotic Defenestration had a thoughtful suggestion for warming up without electricity
Archie Goodwin asked a terrible question about chainsaws being used in childbirth
bughunter knew what a lawyer accidentally using a Zoom kitten filter for a court appearance should say

Smart:
dammit just give me a login had a few words that have made it difficult for some people to get jobs lately
Terminal Accessory shared a story about a friend whose ex-boyfriend put a tracker on her vehicle
Rapmaster2000 considered why many people prefer to believe COVID-19 was created in a laboratory
Sgygus shared a phrase that would keep you from getting a second interview with most potential employers
Excelsior answered the "why doesn't she just shave it off?" inquiries
Weatherkiss discussed the popular Wendy's Twitter account
Pocket Ninja dared wearers of the "upside-down bikini" to work harder at it
fallingcow explained why these whippersnappers need to knock it off with their viral challenges for the TikToks

CSB Sunday Morning: Your most memorable Valentine's Day
Smart: Adolf Oliver Nipples told us about a very sad and awful Valentine's Day
Funny: Salmon had a double date cut short

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Combustion wouldn't put up with anti-catters
Smart: fly_gal shared a home decorating update
Smart: eyeq360 had Lunar New Year art to share
Funny: JerseyTim was very upset about a photo someone posted

Politics Funny:
BizarreMan knew what will happen to a man sentenced to a year and a day in prison in a case linked to Rudy Giuliani
GardenWeasel told OldRod the salary of a man who allegedly had an affair with Marjorie Taylor Greene
whither_apophis found the next President of the United States of America
RodneyToady wished for something even more than Bugs Bunny cutting Florida off of the U.S.
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat came up with an anthem for a planned "MAGA mega-city"

Politics Smart:
mr_a had a reminder for a Michigan ammunition store that refuses to do business with Biden voters
capn' fun wanted to share some information with Israel's ambassador to the U.N.
I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise suggested a compromise with Republicans who want to abolish the Department of Education
wademh shared an experience from the evening of January 6th
weddingsinger analyzed One America News' tribute to Donald Trump's accomplishments


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
opalakea helped this cat escape God's wrath
bugdozer was ready to watch "Apocalypse Meow"
Alligator pulled out the "distracted boyfriend" meme
RedZoneTuba found out this girl is not in the mood for a party
RedZoneTuba angered a fashion influencer
I_Am_Weasel played around with the Force
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that the Wheaton look is finally catching on
I_Am_Weasel found an unusual spot for a train tunnel
Alligator appreciated modern art
samsquatch remembered the importance of keeping your eye tentacles dry

Fartist Friday: Illustrate an idiom containing "heart" or "love"
nanim reminded us that love is blind

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 6: Show us a work of art you've made and Tell us the story behind it

Farktography: The bends
Elsinore photographed a lovely green danger noodle

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, but most of the country is still frozen. Fortunately for me, I get to keep the hot tub in the 1000 club all to myself. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with a score of 918, followed by bud jones in second with 916 and HighwayBill in third with 904. Pinnacle Point made fourth with 899, and runwiz and Data tied for fifth with 896.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about the oldest major Japanese auto company. Only 28% of quiztakers knew that the Toyo Cork Kogyo Co., Ltd was opened in Hiroshima, Japan in 1920 to make cork products. After a bailout from local banks in 1927, the company dropped "Cork" from their name and moved into machine tooling and eventually small engines, including the Mazda-Go auto rickshaw, a name which would be used on most of their motorized products. The company's name was actually not changed until 1984

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which European city's mayor wanted to move the De Wallen red-light district out of the city center. A whopping 97% of quiztakers knew that "De Wallen" was the name of the district in Amsterdam where you can have your pick of vices in a buffet-style outdoor market, much like Las Vegas but with no risk of jail time. So it seems Farkers really do know their red-light districts,

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over the recent resurgence of the 2004 song "The Reason" and its line "I am not a perfect person." Only 60% of quiztakers were able to identify the artist as Hoobastank. Which is understandable, I'm not sure that's a band name I would brag about being a fan of either. Seriously, though, they are a pretty good band with definitely a late 90s-early 2000s sound - they just didn't get a lot of backing from their label, probably because their name was "Hoobastank." 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which country Will Farrell has declared war on. 88% of quiztakers caught the Superb Owl spot, or have seen it played countless times on social media, and knew that it was Norway that had the biggest per capita usage of electric vehicles. Hopefully, the war rages so hard that we all become winners of cheap and reliable electric cars. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: All right stop, collaborate and listen
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-02-11 2:58:35 PM (69 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has gone well.  Sorry for the extra day delay with the NotNewsletter, Kentucky had some hellacious ice storms yesterday and given the risk of losing power, we loaded up the entire family and took off to get outside of the damage zone. Our house is all electric so no power means no heat, no food, and no internet.  We've had power outages of a week-plus due to these ice storms before.  The additional problem is even though the storms have stopped, it's not going to be warm enough to melt anytime in the next week.  We'll see how things go.

So far the power seems to be mostly holding, so we'll be doing a livestream tonight at 5 p.m. on my Twitch channel, assuming strong wind and heavy trees don't take out Dallan's house between now and then.  We're going to try to do Fark Friday Movie Night tomorrow (Friday) as well.

Also, for TotalFarkers - got a thing for you all.  Look for it to post tomorrow afternoon.  Anyone else who wants in on that action can sign up for TotalFark and join us!
________________________


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Altimus Prime honored the life of Dustin Diamond
Algebrat had good news for GameStop and AMC investors
Snapper Carr knew what the absolute best online currency is
Burn_The_Plows started to feel the heat after an incident in Pennsylvania
Timmy the Tumor was worried about Jeff Bezos
hoodiowithtudio felt like a silly goose for having such a foul team name
Abe Vigoda's Ghost learned something about Christopher Plummer and another iconic movie star
dothemath gave more information about a couple who were looking to buy an apartment
Tax Boy knew why Bezos feels able to step down as Amazon's CEO
edmo welcomed us to Fark

Bonus FarkStaff Picks:
Johnson reacted to a very colorful hallway in a home listing
Rapmaster2000 was willing to fight hedge fund managers and other people in power

Smart:
Sliding Carp and many of the rest of us learned something from a 13-year-old who saved two younger girls - check out this story if you missed it, it's a great one
Ivo Shandor explained why we shouldn't go throwing out our flu vaccines just yet
Znuh cleared up confusion over what it means to be a COVID-19 "long-hauler"
ShavedOrangutan called attention to a Rochester Police Department program that isn't looking very realistic in light of recent news
CordycepsInYourBrain figured some habits from the pandemic are worth keeping
Insult Comic Bishounen shared maps of flu-like illness in the U.S. for the end of January of this year and last year (from the CDC)
Prank Call of Cthulhu found a new favorite quotation

CSB Sunday Morning: Reunited and it feels so... good?
Smart: Lytbeir nearly missed out on getting to know a wonderful sibling
Funny: Hey Nurse! found an old roommate in the last place you'd look

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Beeblebrox gave advice to anyone who's considering buying a gun
Smart: a particular individual shared a photo of a very good tree climber
Smart: eyeq360 drew a gorgeous peacock design
Smart: meg12279 endorsed giving it time
Smart: Unikitty found another way of thinking about things
Smart: Beeblebrox's kitty wanted a hug
Funny: skyotter received the greatest gift ever
Funny: EggFool's phone was angry about the milk

Politics Funny:
Ghastly let us know how QAnon's story will end
Pinche Mateo shared words of wisdom when Marjorie Taylor Greene decided to attack The Lincoln Project
kbronsito pointed out evidence that Harriet Tubman was actually conservative
gameshowhost found out who's really to blame for the attack on the U.S. Capitol
Iamos experienced a moment of confusion

Politics Smart:
Ghastly let us know how QAnon's story will end
MattytheMouse looked at what QAnon got right before going terribly wrong
Magorn suggested a method of handling Trump appointees' unexpected loss of benefits
kudayta had advice for someone whose parent chose QAnon and Trump over family
buttercat spoke about comparing "radicals" of both major parties


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
bugdozer took us behind the scenes at the nuclear power plant
Herb Utsmelz caught a well-dressed pest
retrophil didn't need any help from ACME
RedZoneTuba found out that a former White House press secretary took up sailing
Circusdog320 got this tool from a pineapple under the sea
retrophil discovered that President Biden still does one thing the old fashioned way
Herb Utsmelz secretly replaced Bernie's mittens with these bread-and-coffee mittens
kabloink learned that glass does not break bricks
Octafrye set up infinite presidential viewing
wiredroach showed Biden passing gas in Trump's general direction

Captions:
From:
Caption this ... spread?
Redh8t knew that this was a very brave couple
Devolving_Spud told us about the real star of the photo
RyansPrivates made a vintage advertisement

Fartist Friday: Superb Owl
kabloink drew a superb owl that's also shaped somewhat like a body part

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: We're celebrating Love and Hearts by illustrating an idiom with "Heart" or "Love," like "Wear your heart on your sleeve" or "Lovebirds," using any medium. You can say the idiom, or for fun, let us guess it.

Farktography1, 2, 3
This one ended in a tie between beerrun's bickering birds and CiliarySpasm's chilly trees

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Beyond Fark

We're sad to learn of the loss of our friend and former Fark moderator Fear_and_Loathing last year after a 10-year battle with MS. We knew him as Dave, and he was a sweet guy who loved to chat and exchange stories. You can visit Fear_and_Loathing's memorial thread here.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm still not quite sure how much oil is the right amount in my air fryer. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 955, followed by FrancoFile in second with 942 and Redh8t in third with 918, Pavia_Resistance made fourth with 904, and Yellow Beard made it into the top five with 883.

The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was over which state held attractions such as 200 replicas of Terracotta Army soldiers, the World's Largest Dental Pick, and the ruins of the childhood home of Truman Capote, Only 27% of quiztakers knew that as a child, Capote lived next door to future author Harper Lee in the city of Monroeville, Alabama. You can also see the Terracotta Army soldiers at Troy University in Troy, and the World's Largest Dental Pick in the city of Spanish Fort. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which country's Parliament had voted unanimously to declare the Proud Boys a hate group. 88% of quiztakers knew that it was the home of the Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes - Canada. I think it does say something that when he decided to start this (as he calls it) "gang," he did so in the US because he knew it wasn't going to go over well there. I think the only acceptable reason to fight in Canada is someone wearing the wrong hockey jersey.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the new icon for the Amazon App on iOS. Only 45% of quiztakers knew that Amazon has added a strip of blue to the "arrow smile" to symbolize the ubiquitous blue tape that is always impossible to tear off. Also, a bit of trivia: The "smile arrow" actually goes from the "A" to the "Z" in "Amazon" to symbolize that they carry everything from A to Z. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which denomination of US currency was once again on track to feature the likeness of former slave and abolitionist Harriet Tubman. 96% of quiztakers knew that she was set to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. Hopefully they won't do something else silly like make it a weird pastel color like they keep doing to the $10 note. Ms. Tubman deserves a really good looking note.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Prepare yourself for a surge in toilet submissions
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-02-03 1:41:45 PM, edited 2021-02-07 6:52:07 PM (48 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Here's an anniversary that sneaks up on me every year: Sometime in the second week of February 1999, I started Fark.  I'm not sure which day exactly, but according to the archives, the first dateable link was February 12th.  I only posted one or two a day before that, so it was sometime around then.

Twenty-two years later we're still here, posting quite a few more than one to three links per day.  Thanks for sticking with us - especially over the last year, which was quite the ordeal for all of us.

Speaking of which - last year in March was when the pandemic wiped out all our ad revenue.  Thanks to a huge surge of TotalFark and BareFark signups and OhFark badges, I'm writing this note to you today.  We wouldn't still be here without your support.  Thanks so much to everyone who subscribed, and that includes everyone who might decide today's the day to pull the trigger.

A lesser anniversary that sneaks up on me every year: It's nearly the 17th anniversary of the Wardrobe Malfunction Super Bowl. Here's hoping Timberlake and Jackson get invited back in a couple of years

At 5 p.m. today, it's the Fark News Livestream.  Lots of toilets in the news for some reason.  I heard one of the two stories on NPR this morning.  Still looking for a third to complete the trifecta.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Jack Sabbath thought a story about a woman who went on TV with a vulgar item behind her would be about a different awkward appearance
Ker_Thwap had no interest in taking a new drug to fight COVID-19
Mike_LowELL was offended by an error message pictured in a tweet
CarnySaur shared what was said at Robinhood before they limited trading of GameStop stocks
40 degree day advised a Farker who asked a question about pleasure aids
DarnoKonrad asked a question for Robinhood
mikaloyd helped someone who was confused about what was going on with investors
NikolaiFarkoff quoted a woman who claimed to be dressing "like a Muslim" to get out of wearing a mask
JRoo was angry when a teacher tweeted that Black people "don't want to work"
PaulRB defended Armie Hammer when he lost a role "due to the cannibalism allegations"

Smart:
Martian_Astronomer was inspired by SpockYouOut to see if Robinhood was allowed to do what they done did (bonus: great how those logins work together)
quo vadimus pointed out that saying it doesn't necessarily make it so
Brosephus shared evidence that good cops exist
Nuuu saw a possibly non-dickish reason for Robinhood to take charge of some of their users' accounts
orezona figured that having a $30,000 My Little Pony collection isn't the worst thing
Dr Dreidel brought up the historical existence of malevolent investing
NewportBarGuy told us that a less effective vaccine is still nothing to sneeze at
Notabunny shared an excellent story about seeing someone else's work and saying, "Let me show you how to do a better job"
skatedrifter summed up why a lot of people decided to get in on the stock war

CSB Sunday Morning: That one time at the grocery store
Smart: ms_lara_croft turned out to have the magical combination
Funny: bikkurikun had an unfortunate misunderstanding

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: JerseyTim figured out why a Farker's neighbor's car has a California license plate on the front and a Georgia one on the rear
Funny: merrillvillain was not shy about doing what needed to be done
Funny: merrillvillain hoped that buttercat's phone number is the speed of light
Smart: meat0918 told us why you can't describe orgasms without using any euphemisms
Funny: vegas_greaser pointed out something we all have in common
Bonus: CommieTaoist  doesn't have to worry about one of the horsemen this week

Politics Funny:
common sense is an oxymoron remarked on Joe Biden's snappy reply to Peter Doocy
mrshowrules told us how to create unity in America
gopher321 figured that Josh Hawley is well acquainted with someone else's footwear
Ker_Thwap expected a different answer when Peter Doocy asked Biden what he and Putin had discussed
Zulu_as_Kono shared a story about a grocery store and a flag

Politics Smart:
Ken S. discussed the changing political makeup of Arizona
SpectroBoy spoke out against going overboard with your interests
Diogenes called out Rep. Chip Roy's demand that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez apologize to Ted Cruz
Smelly Pirate Hooker did not pity the fools
Jack Sabbath accused Republicans of being hypocrites


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave Bernie a lift
noazark brought in some famous faces
proton removed an uninvited guest
i-dig found the perfect owner for this Bauhaus chair
I_Am_Weasel made a hip hop earworm
Nick Nostril designed a swimsuit
Octafrye got knotty with the bartender
RedZoneTuba showed a man who prefers women his own age
retrophil pitied the fool who doesn't have health insurance
RedZoneTuba's shirt needed to be tucked in

Fartist Friday: Show and tell: Inspirations
dothemath's photo of these young bikers was inspired by several photographers

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This weekend I heard there's a huge event: it's The Superb Owl. Using MS Paint or equivalent programs, create for us the most Superb-est Owl

FarktographyBackyard critters
Morchella found out how much peanut butter sandwich a woodchuck would eat

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Fark Weird News Quiz this week, which luckily did not require a software update on most devices. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 954, followed by Russell_Secord in second with 935 and EJ25T in third with 933. Tax Boy snagged fourth with 920, and edmo snuck into the top five with 919.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new product from Germany's Electric Brands with the name "eBussy," indicating their marketing department doesn't have access to Urban Dictionary. Only 28% of quiztakers knew that it was an electric vehicle with modular components, allowing it to transform from a three-person van to a flat-bed truck and several other options in between. Although judging from the size, I don't think the back seat is going to be associated with the Urban Dictionary definition of the name very much. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you'll be able to see the Trump Baby balloon that toured around the world for the past couple of years. 82% of quiztakers knew that it would be shown at the Museum of London, right up the road from where it first flew during a state visit to the UK by the 45th President. No word on if it still has the cell phone with the Twitter logo.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the upcoming HBO Max series "Julia" about the life and work of TV chef Julia Child. Only 51% of quiztakers knew that the name of her popular TV program was actually "The French Chef." Although Mrs. Child said she learned to cook from the book "The Joy of Cooking," she was not involved in its writing or production.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about what you'll find in a thesaurus. 92% of quiztakers knew that a thesaurus was a small bipedal lizard from the Cretaceous period that knew a lot of words with the same meaning, helping make his writings more enjoyable and popular than those of his contemporaries. Unfortunately, there was a mass death event thing and they all died and all we have left now are 324 words for "giant meteor."

If you missed out on the Quiz (which many did because I forgot to cross-post it to the Main page) you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Just the tip(s)
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-01-27 5:49:58 PM (56 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from DisseminationMonkey:  
________________________ 

Drew and I both got nothin' for intro ideas, so I'm going to put some random reminders and stuff here. Hopefully you'll find something helpful.

Apparently, something called "Valentine's Day" is coming up. Maybe you want to get a present for someone, or have another occasion for which you need to do some shopping. Perhaps the Farketplace has what you're looking for, and you can support fellow Farkers by buying from them! 

Here's some advice on getting more greenlit Fark submissions. We'd love it if more Farkers would submit links. Please check this out, especially if you've ever felt discouraged when your submissions haven't been chosen.

Other stuff:
• Fark posting rulesBasic posting rules, expanded (more detailed) posting rules
• Please report a headline errors and link problems by using the "Report this link to admins" link at the bottom of the applicable thread. 
• Please report comments that break the rules. Do not assume moderators have already seen any given comment - they probably haven't. I can't tell you how many reports mods get yelling at them for "allowing" comments that they haven't seen yet. Report comments by using the radioactive symbol ☢ above the comment, on the right side. Note: This is not Farkback. If you want to discuss your concern, please see the Farkback information below.
• See if your moderator/admin reports have been processed yet in the Fark mod/admin Notification Forum (this is only visible to you and mods/admins, does not include messages to Farkback).
• To make a complaint, offer feedback, give a suggestion, ask a question, discuss moderator/admin issues, and anything else that needs discussion with thems that run Fark, use Farkback, and make sure your email address is current so you receive your replies.
• To report a technical error, glitch, or bug, please do not submit a thread about it. Instead, contact Farkback immediately and use the "technical errors" option in the dropdown
• To report a bad ad, use the "Report" link under any ad on the page, or contact Farkback if that's not an option. (more about bad ads)
• To test out a comment, write out DIT (details in thread) before submitting a thread and to try other "practice" posts, use the scratchpad test board (only you and mods/admins can see what you post here).
• To check Fark status when Fark is down, go to Beerspill. It will run an automatic test and give you the status, but notes from dev might not be updated right away if they're busy putting out fires.

Please stay safe. Get vaccinated if and when you can. Keep wearing a mask and social distancing when you go out, and only be around people outside of your household when you absolutely need to. If you have a potentially serious health problem or concern, however, do not wait to have that checked out and/or treated. I personally have had to go to my health care provider thrice since the pandemic started, and I remained safe and had my problems fixed. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
SirDigbyChickenCaesar defended a teacher who claimed to be too short to have performed the act of which she is accused
The Pope of Manwich Village considered someone else who's mourning the loss of Larry King
Winterlight knew how to honor Larry King
freakingmoron explained why Jonathan Frakes didn't move from acting to directing sooner
Officer Barrelroll figured out how a Kroger employee was able to steal so much money from his employer
khitsicker figured out why four Texans were such bad shots
Rattrap007 thought a man who kicked a deputy looked like a work of art
PainInTheASP pointed out the measures taken to keep people safe from the World War I detritus in France's Red Zone
Another Government Employee noted the one interview Larry King said he was never able to get
ManThatHurts had nothing to learn from a video on safe and courteous driving

Smart:
leviosaurus pointed out one of the reasons it's stupid to fire people for having been in adult videos
FleshMonkey had an idea of why people do that
styckx isn't a fan of bounty hunters
phenn shared a personal story about Larry King
EatenTheSun remarked that Elon Musk is a little late with the idea to dig tunnels for traffic in Miami
scottydoesntknow figured small-town values bit a fast food worker in the butt
SBinRR listed a lot of things that had to go wrong for a Kroger employee to be able to steal so much money
Super Chronic noted an activity during which you should really strive to not be weird
The Bunyip wanted all vaccinations to be administered through the same type of setup

CSB Sunday Morning: The strangest place you've ever lived
Smart: MorningBreath lived next door to Gilligan and the Skipper
Smart (runner up): bikkurikun told us about being a stranger in a strange land
Funny: Recoil Therapy and spouse discovered their house's secret history

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village had an idea for the upcoming Fark swear jar
Funny: Brawndo was surprised by what's hiding in the Trivial Pursuit rulebook
Smart: Ivo Shandor suggested a different way for the swear jar to function
Funny: Cafe Threads always just says no
Funny: CommieTaoist illustrated Theeng's disappointing bedtime companion (don't click if you're an arachnophobe)

Politics Funny:
COVID19 stated a fact about the attack on the U.S. Capitol
grokca asked a question about Donald Trump's proposed Patriot Party
mrshowrules gave helpful instructions for getting back on Parler
Petit_Merdeux had a different interpretation of President Joe Biden telling White House employees to be excellent to each other
Znuh recognized a Garth Brooks impersonator

Politics Smart:
swaniefrmreddeer anticipated sleeping better at night
From Philly to Boston gave a reason to make D.C. a state
bloobeary noticed an amazing coincidence
Bootleg explained why legislators might want to bring guns into the Capitol building
fragMasterFlash had job ideas for former Trump campaign workers


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
GoodDoctorB went nuts on lighting fixtures
GoodDoctorB figured if you pay $1 million for a watch, you should be able to play games on it
RedZoneTuba tried reverse psychology at the airport
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us the Fark Photoshop Forum headquarters
verchad helped a protester with his sign
kabloink brought enough for everybody
Thrakkorzog hired a modern Jackson Pollock to paint the walls
Thrakkorzog showed the president meeting with a head of state
bugdozer had a very messy way of making pancakes
RedZoneTuba laid down the law
#2 reminded us to watch where we stick that thing

Fartist Friday: Questions a cat (or any pet) would like answered
edmo's cat was very hungry

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we'll talk about artists that have inspired us to create our own art, and we'll show our own art examples of that inspiration. Tell us which artists have enriched your life, have lit a fire in you to create art. And show us your own art that's been influenced by these artists that inspired you

FarktographyTeeny Tiny
This one ended in a tie between common sense is an oxymoron's chicory-loving hoverfly and Deveyn's Micronesian coral crab

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Unfortunately the Quiz was delayed this week so we don't have any winners yet. Be sure to check out the latest Fark Weird News Quiz and you might be in the next NotNewsletter!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Please don't drink beer out of the swear jar
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-01-21 3:49:19 PM, edited 2021-01-22 5:26:52 AM (38 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

The news cycle's been running hot and cold recently, I suspect because everyone knew Wednesday was going to be a little busy.  It remains to be seen how things are going to shake out; at least in the political sphere things seem to be returning to business as usual.

Database issues are stabilizing.  We've added more server support and Mike's been diligently configuring a new architecture for us. We had a ton of traffic yesterday and everything held up great. The next test will be whenever the next national or global crisis hits.  Can't predict when those will happen.

Thursday on TotalFark I posted a link asking for comment on some layout designs for the upcoming Swear Jar.  Want to know more? Sign up for TotalFark and join the conversation.  

We've locked down another Fark Friday Movie Night at 7 p.m. Eastern.  I'm not sure we've picked the movie yet.  I'll post a link on Fark when I know what it is for sure.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
UberDave agreed with an assessment of the methods used by rioters in the Capitol building
GardenWeasel considered the consequences of chastity cages being hacked by someone demanding ransom
ArkAngel had an idea for how to use a swear word in an X-Men movie
orbister thought that someone on Twitter was wrong about something
markie_farkie knows how to keep an internet-connected chastity cage secure from hackers
Prank Call of Cthulhu knew who could help men whose chastity cages were hacked
HugeMistake figured out why Bruce Willis was causing trouble at Rite Aid
WhiskeySticks explained Saudi Arabia's planned linear city
HighOnCraic confirmed that it wasn't a podium that was stolen from the Capitol
Enigmamf had a couple of things to say about tweet threads

Smart:
styckx had advice on what to say to people who think health care workers are exaggerating or lying about COVID-19
styckx praised the great work and courage of CNN correspondent Sara Sidner
HugeMistake discussed the varying value of money
funkyeuph pointed out the most deceiving thing about state lotteries
Budweiser Baptist let us know another way to help animals in need
phalamir explained the problem with having your thing locked in a thing that's part of the internet of things
Watubi owed Mom a big favor
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat brought up the best thing about working from home
itchyvelour described how bad things are in U.S. hospitals now

CSB Sunday Morning: Culture shock
Smart & Funny: Winterlight stumbled into a home and a job without even being forklift certified

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: granolasteak shared advice about potentially hateful terms
Funny: 10.0.0.1 explained why one might use nitrogen in welding
Funny: Weatherkiss had somewhere else to be
Funny: pdxbarista's kid was unintentionally hilarious
Funny: Eclectic was left behind
Smart: MethySophocles explained why you shouldn't get off on being withholding
Funny: Earthworm Jim Jones came up with a new game for TotalFarkers

Politics Funny:
Garza and the Supermutants thought that maybe things were turning around
Cake Hunter pointed out someone who apparently cares about the horned Capitol rioter's dietary demands in prison
Lambskincoat was thisclose to sweeping Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez off her feet
snowybunting somehow knew what an ecstatic Trump fan yells
thecactusman17 explained why Trump was wrong when he told Mike Pence, ""You can either go down in history as a patriot, or you can go down in history as a pussy"

Politics Smart:
gilgigamesh will always appreciate a certain type of video (No, not that type. Well, maybe that type, too.)
markie_farkie argued that everyone involved in the coup attempt must face justice
markie_farkie considered Trump's statement about the U.S. military presence in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria
mrshowrules explained why Trump was unlikely to pardon any insurrectionists
OptionC noted that Trump was a product of one of his own frequent complaints


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Photoshop theme: unlikely actors for a Star Trek starship captain turned out to be such a fun theme that all of the top-voted results came from it. Here are the voting results for this contest. The highest-voted entries were from RedZoneTuba, RedZoneTuba again, retrophil, samsquatch, retrophil again, Yammering_Splat_Vector, hail2daking, cowgirl toffee, Nick Nostril, and clovercat
Here are some winners from other Photoshop contests:
cowgirl toffee showed us Pheasadent Trump
bugdozer revealed Donald Trump's next job
Alligator appreciated an older woman
cowgirl toffee showed Trump recruiting more soldiers
RedZoneTuba was dancing on thin ice

Fartist Friday: I blue myself
kimwim made an ombré quilt

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we celebrate National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day with, naturally, a poetry contest. Write a poem in any form about the pressing questions your cat (or any pet) surely has

FarktographyTransformations
This contest ended in a tie between All Latest's aptly-named snowdrops and Morchella's brand-new butterfly

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although no one got into the 1000 club. A pity, too as the Foo Fighters are playing the main stage this weekend. Denjiro came out on top with 974, followed by edmo in second with 924 and scrumpox in third with 920. leafslinger made fourth with 897, and FrancoFile finishes out the top five with 848. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Japanese farmers who decided to go all in on some creative marketing to keep sales up during the pandemic. Only 16% of quiztakers knew that Wakayama prefecture is Japan's biggest orange producing region, and their sales were way down due to the decrease in fresh fruit and vegetable shopping (people have switched to canned or frozen things to limit their trips to the markets). So, having seen some Internet thingies, the farmers decided to juice most of their product and sell it in bottles with cat pictures on them. Japanese kitties who speak the local language say "Nyaa" rather than "Meow" in English, so they settled on "Nyan Juice" as the name.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the NHL's newest addition to the rule book for the new season. 76% of quiztakers knew that they had added a hand signal for "fighting". I'm still a bit unclear if this a penalty indication or simply a way to signal to teams that "it's on" so they'll know to stop batting the puck around and make a space.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which company was getting a new chicken sandwich with a bigger piece of chicken, a brioche bun, and thicker pickles. 53% of quiztakers knew that it was the restaurant that suffered the most from Popeyes superior chicken sandwich - KFC. I could be wrong, but I really do not expect to see people fighting each other over the thicker pickle chicken sandwich in the next few months, but then again, I didn't think Popeyes chicken sandwich was worth a street brawl either. Luckily they'll have NHL refs at all locations to let us know.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about actor Robert Duvall and his sole Academy Award. 92% of quiztakers knew he got the nod for the 1984 film "Tender Mercies" in which he played a recovering alcoholic country music star. Are all country music stars recovering alcoholics or something? This seems to have become an extremely popular genre in the years since.

If you missed out on last week's quiz, you can catch up here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: If your surges last longer than four hours...
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-01-13 3:23:01 PM (40 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Some of you may have noticed Fark's servers have been struggling lately.  The good news is it's entirely due to a massive increase in traffic this past week thanks to the current insane news cycle.  Fark doesn't experience traffic spikes that often, and since we've been in a short revenue situation since the pandemic began, up until this week it's made sense to shave every penny we can out of our cloud deployment.  However, several days after it began, it looks like the traffic surge is persisting, so we're making our stack more robust to handle it.  Sorry for any inconvenience this has caused, and don't blame Mike because the fault is squarely with me.

Normally a huge traffic surge would be a great thing.  Traffic has been out of sight, but unfortunately due to the time of year, ad revenue has not.  Most companies stack up ad buys in December for Xmas, so January is the weakest advertising month of the year. So while all the traffic has been great, it hasn't translated to revenue.

So I'm kind of rolling the dice on this one and increasing server expense to handle the load.  With any luck, this will pay for itself.  One thing that would help would be more BareFark and TotalFark subscribers.  Stock up on Farks2Give as well - these will be used for the upcoming Swear Jar launch as well, by the way.  I really wanted to make Farks2Give some sort of dumbass cryptocurrency, but it turns out there's a bit of overhead in doing that, so it's a non-starter.  But who knows what the future will hold?  Probably not Fark crypto, but stranger things have happened, as I'm sure we'll witness over the next week.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
NikolaiFarkoff had a question about Britney Spears' ex-husband, Jason Alexander, being at the Capitol riot
Osama bin Limbaugh explained why a cop punched his K-9 partner
Billy Liar thought an article about the author of "Brokeback Mountain" wishing people wouldn't try to rewrite it could've used some work
NikolaiFarkoff expressed shock at the FBI's use of a stingray device to locate Ghislaine Maxwell's mobile phone
Dead for Tax Reasons explained why someone would go for the world record for spinning a hula hoop on their butt
semiotix shared a photo of Wilford Brimley when he was young
Close2TheEdge had some surprising information about twirling a hula hoop around your booty
revrendjim knew what was next for a school that evacuated because a student brought in a piece of radioactive Fiestaware
ingo advised a fellow Farker on watching the hula hoop hiney video
sirrerun had something to say about old computer terms that younger people don't understand

Smart:
Lambskincoat thought that there was a slight overreaction at show and tell
dv-ous had a legal question about a cop abusing a police dog
Nadie_AZ discussed the fact that so many Americans are overweight
Hey Nurse! shared a story about how the pandemic is affecting medical care in the U.S.
thisispete pointed out evidence that Kevin Sorbo is as much of a dick in person as he is on the internet
Znuh discussed the direction "Doctor Who" has taken

CSB Sunday Morning: Your first time traveling in an airplane
Smart: luna1580 remembered what air travel used to be like
Funny: Cafe Threads was disappointed that the flight went as planned
Funny (honorable mention): El Dudereno's mom's cousin had a flight fright

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Drew shared the secret to being in a relationship for 20 or more years
Smart: Altimus Prime gave advice to a Farker who was driving to Alabama
Smart: Unikitty explained why a Farker's kitty barfed
Funny: Shakespeare's Monkey tried to help someone figure out what kind of wood they had

Politics Funny:
JerseyTim was talking about a recording of Donald Trump trying to get Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to "find" votes for him, but now it sounds almost prophetic
CaptainCliche decided it was time to celebrate Democrats gaining control of the Senate
Jack Sabbath found Trump's new secret Twitter account
NateAsbestos explained why Trump complained about a "voter dump"
BenSaw2 considered clashes between police and Trump supporters

Politics Smart:
villianova possibly spoke a few hours too soon
maddog2030 commented about a veteran who was killed while storming the U.S. Capitol
cherryl taggart had a message for someone who complained about suffering consequences after going to a party during a pandemic
OdradekRex figured that the NSA needs to think about Russians right now
iheartscotch had a message for the Fark politics tab


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
GoodDoctorB made the "Star Wars" spinoff you never asked for
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this QAnon promoter a better costume
noazark brought enough sardines for literally everyone
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a musical you can arooo along with
Dodo David found out this restauranteur has been hitting the gym
Yammering_Splat_Vector wrote the worst cookbook
verchad prepared this team for the coldness of space
noazark gave Porkins a new flight suit
retrophil made the Fark adventure film we all need
opalakea asked us to put the candle back

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we keep it simple with another Show & Tell. Our theme: I Blue Myself. Show us your art projects featuring the color Blue and Tell us the story about it. Difficulty: Art you haven't posted in our F'artiste contests before.  

FarktographyColor Popping Naturally 2
This contest ended in a tie between common sense is an oxymoron's lovely little ladybug and edmo's cold crimson caboose

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the NNL, but it did wind up being one of the more difficult ones. Denjiro came out on top with 971, followed by The Third Man in second with 941 and Enigmamf in third with 927.Datanerd made fourth with 905, and Tax Boy rounds out the top five with 899.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about what Florida Man was tossing out of his work van on I-95 before being apprehended by the Florida Highway Patrol. Only 9% of quiztakers caught the story about the North Port guy who thought golf clubs were the ideal way to show disdain for other drivers. I mean, fairway, freeway, we've all made that mistake, right?

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about a class action lawsuit filed in Manhattan Federal court over a "Hawaiian" product, 80% of quiztakers knew some joker thought he was owed a lot of money over the fact that King's Hawaiian didn't make their Hawaiian rolls in Hawaii. McDonald's lawyers last seen reviewing their options over their French fries.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over what astronaut (and now Senator) Mark Kelly helped to sneak on board the International Space Station so his twin brother Scott could prank his fellow astronauts. Only 48% of quiztakers knew that he had somehow wheedled NASA into shipping up a gorilla suit, If you haven't seen the video, a guy in a gorilla suit in zero gee chasing people around a space station should not be missed

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about where to get your "Extra Charged Coffee" with 20% more caffeine. 91% of quiztakers knew you could hit up Dunkin' for some Joe with extra Go. TBH I'm not sure they thought this one through - with all that's happening in the country, do we want all of our citizens extra wired? And during Dry January to boot?

If you missed out on the last quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: I survived 2020 and all I got was this lousy insurrection
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-01-07 2:39:49 PM (98 comments) | Permalink

No note from Drew this week, as what he had planned seems irrelevant after yesterday. And speaking of yesterday, we decided to hold off on posting this week's NotNewsletter until today because, you know, there was enough going on.

I love you all. Please stay safe, do what you can to take care of your physical and mental health, and be excellent to each other.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
monophonic81 was okay with the Fark database wigging out and rerunning old threads
ZAZ figured out why old Fark links were re-posting themselves
BizarreMan gave instructions for removing snow from on top of your car
NewportBarGuy knew what really caused zombie Fark threads to rise up
Farking Clown Shoes had a problem with one man hitting another with a can of Twisted Tea for repeatedly using hate speech
Mike_LowELL quoted Mike_LowELL
Eli WhiskeyDik explained why a cop was seen on video wandering around in the area before the RV in Nashville exploded
SurfaceTension took issue with an unfair characterization of Toby Keith
Bslim didn't spend long on a band name
drtgb finally had a reason to spend time with the wife

Smart:
BizarreMan considered the Nashville bomber's statement that the world would never forget him
croesius named a couple of organizations you can donate to for the recovery in Nashville
Xcott explained why Fark threads were rerunning themselves
Glockenspiel Hero argued that 2020 was a worse year than 2001
Znuh let us know what it's like consuming "edibles" while suffering with COVID-19
limeyfellow summed up what's going wrong with the COVID-19 vaccine distribution in the United States
freakay discussed mutations of the novel coronavirus
nyseattitude shared a story about white privilege
lolmao500 shared information about what it means if a virus has a higher transmissibility rate versus a higher fatality rate

CSB Sunday Morning: Your first car
Smart: Salmon's first car used to lose races against a Pony
Funny: durbnpoisn had bad luck with a hornet long before murder hornets came here


CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Roman Fyseek gave divorce advice
Smart: Badafuco answered a submitter who asked how to buy a Lexus in cash in the douchiest way possible
Funny: NM Volunteer could see why washing an afghan caused such a problem
Smart: ytterbium wondered if one problem might actually solve another problem
Smart: gilatrout shared some tips on getting through a divorce
Funny: Brawndo sent a complaint to moderators about sarahthustra's hair

Politics Funny:
Catlenfell told us why Donald Trump finally signed the stimulus and spending bill
ryebread mourned a Louisiana congressman-elect's death from COVID-19
Lighting noticed a message from the Nashville bomber hiding right in front of our eyes
Sin'sHero figured out how Palm Beach International Airport should reply to inquiries about being named after President Trump
optikeye was confounded by the legal questions Lin Wood asked Chief Justice John Roberts

Politics Smart:
arrogantbastich pointed out to Randy Quaid that it takes one to know one
cherryl taggart heard an interesting opinion about Mitch McConnell
TommyDeuce theorized about McConnell's main objection to a stimulus payment of $2000 per person
RolandTGunner fixed one of Trump's tweets for him
naughtyrev laughed at Republicans barking up the wrong tree


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Alligator needed to give Christina Hendricks a coat
Alligator showed why exercising like this is a bad idea
RedZoneTuba let out a scream
GoodDoctorB discovered that Abbey Road looks completely different at night
Terrapin Bound took us to The Fark Side
hail2daking built the biggest movie screen in the world
Nick Nostril figured there are things to grow in space that are more fun than radishes
USAF Retired found out what the 50-foot woman came back for
ryebread ran into Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Trump
samsquatch displayed a major award
Driver gave us the best musical about okra

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Volume 5
Mike Jittlov shared the invaluable magic of moneygami

FarktographyHope 2
This one ended with a tie between two sunsets. ryebread found good in the Oregon Badlands and MorningBreath said goodbye to the day at Biltmore in Asheville, North Carolina

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time on the Quiz last week, with four folks welcomed into our socially distant 1000 Club. Evildog came out on top with 1025, followed by bud jones in second with 1011 and Auntie Cheesus in third with 1006. SiberWolf took fourth with 1003, and WoolyManwich rounds out the top five with 934.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over the Official State Drink of Rhode Island. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that enough folks there put concentrated coffee and sugar in their milk to make "coffee milk" a thing. Oddly enough, the two main brands of "coffee syrup" there, Eclipse and Autocrat, are made by the same company since 1991 when the latter bought out the former. They should watch out, though, a new upstart called Morning Glory is getting good reviews, and it's available throughout the Northeast. Good luck finding it in the South, people in my neck of the woods put cold coffee on the same level they do hot tea.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about Barack Obama's unexpected houseguest during quarantine over the spring and summer. 90% of quiztakers knew that his daughter Malia had brought her boyfriend home from college to meet the family just before the lockdown went in place, and since he's from England, he had no way back home and so the family invited him to stay with them. I'm guessing the Secret Service detail was temporarily assigned to Malia's bedroom door for the duration.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over rock duo Twenty-One Pilots and their latest happening. Only 44% of quiztakers knew that they had recorded material for their latest video for their single "Level of Concern," and then set up a system so that the video was constantly updated by fans every 3 minutes and 42 seconds while the music continuously played nonstop on YouTube. I do pity the poor Guinness judges who verified it as a world record who were contractually obligated to sit through 177 days of the same song on repeat, and I wish there were an expression for the way we should feel about their mental health after enduring such a feat.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the latest Eddie Murphy sequel we'll be seeing on Amazon Prime in March. 93% of quiztakers knew that "Coming 2 America" has finally been completed, and I'm sure at least some were glad to see Arsenio Hall finally getting some work again. The barbershop guys are back as well as James Earl Jones, but no word yet on the Royal Bathers. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·


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