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Fark NotNewsletter: Dad's out of town - let's party
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-07-28 11:55:39 AM (62 comments) | Permalink

Hello, Farkers. Drew is off riding his bike across Iowa this week, so there's no NotNewsletter message from him today. You can check out Drew's Instagram feed to watch his progress if you need your Drew fix. And just to remind you, there won't be a Fark News Livestream this week, but it's expected to return in August. 

That's your Drew update; now let's talk about me! A lot of people think I'm Drew, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. They think it's him writing the Fark NotNewsletter every week and maintaining Fark's Twitter and Facebook accounts, but it's actually just your friendly little DisseminationMonkey tossing out these banana peels. Sections written by Drew and others are labelled as such, saying things like "a message from Drew Curtis" or "brought to you by ox45tallboy." I bring this up not to claim credit, but so you know who to blame when you open the NotNewsletter and search for your name and it's not there. I'm the monkey you need to spank for being naughty, or reward with bananas for being nice. Sure, it's a stereotype that monkeys like bananas, but I actually do quite enjoy them.

On that note, if you ever want to get Drew's attention in a NotNewsletter discussion thread - or any other thread - try putting his name in your comment and bolding it. That might work, or he might be in the middle of doing Drew stuff and not be able to respond. You can also email him at Drew at Fark. Put Fark in the subject line too for good measure. And maybe some phallic emojis. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
MythDragon explained what the backstory was when a woman was caught on video arguing with an American Airlines manager
NewportBarGuy had a question about the theft of an $8,000 puppy
Ass_Master_Flash summed up a very strange article
TheSwizz worked out the Canadian to U.S. exchange rate
Martian_Astronomer beautifully expressed the trouble with sacred undergarments for Mormon women
The Pope of Manwich Village anticipated upcoming events with a couple whose gender reveal party started a deadly wildfire
Jingle Strangle wanted to see a better sports event jumbotron marriage proposal
MythDragon told us how to go to hell
scottydoesntknow let us know why it's a bad idea to write a bad review about a roofer
Resident Muslim considered the possibility of a cure for stupidity

Smart:
abbarach gave an example of why you should be polite to people who're just doing their jobs
Auntie Cheesus told a story about selling jokes to Jackie Mason
phalamir offered advice on proposing to someone, but I want to know more about the imaginary proposal at the end
weddingsinger had a great way of explaining why a one percent mortality rate is a big deal
Geotpf showed what the emergency authorization process for the COVID-19 vaccines actually means
Benevolent Misanthrope reminded us that public shaming isn't just for the internet
TheSwizz worked out the Canadian to U.S. exchange rate
Smoking GNU was all like, "We told you so"
luna1580 argued for ending the Olympics for good

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja had a suggestion for doctors caring for patients who ask to be vaccinated after it's too late
DoBeDoBeDo saw a sign that someone should've warned people that there would be a shooting
The Googles Do Nothing found humor in Trump supporters' failed attempt to hang a "Trump won" banner at a Tampa Bay Rays game
capt.snicklefritz reacted to Matt Gaetz taking offense at toddlers supposedly talking like British people after watching "Peppa Pig"
xanadian told us what Florida Republican Party chair Joe Gruters said about sexual harassment allegations against him

Politics Smart:
leeto2 talked about running out of patience for people with certain points of view
Pocket Ninja had a suggestion for doctors caring for patients who ask to be vaccinated after it's too late
FlashHarry compared problems the two major U.S. political parties are trying to address
Professor_Doctor considered the Janus-faced Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Dr. Nick Riviera noticed how the phrase "as a businessman" is often used


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed unexpected tragedy striking the Duluth Harbor North Pier Light
MillionDollarMo was pretty sure this is a photo from Tatooine
Wrongo showed that the Trump family is staying together
zeon rounded up some castaways
Yammering_Splat_Vector enjoyed a meal with Janis
Kick The Chair helped Trump with some rebranding
Wrongo created a new option for mental health care
Wrongo saw the coming apocalypse
Wrongo discovered that the dumbest conspiracy theory is actually true
RedZoneTuba did not trust this slatted fireplace

Fartist Friday: New services that nobody has ever asked for
Resident Muslim showed that smelly feet can create opportunity

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate National Refreshment Day, we'll create odes to our favorite refreshments. Write a poem dedicated to whatever wets your whistle and slates your thirst.

Farktography: Mementos and Memorabilia
beerrun showed off a scattered grin


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and I did finally receive my drill bit - after I had already bought another and drilled the hole. On the Quiz itself, TheMothership came out on top with 981, followed by dionysusaur in second with 972 and Wizzywig in third with 908. Leper Canuck made fourth with 899. and whosits_112 made fifth with 872.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which critters have been regularly invading soccer pitches in New Zealand lately. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that sea lions have decided they want to play and don't want to go through tryouts. Of the choices, sea lions for some reason don't like the North Atlantic ocean, while the others are found all over there. It's probably something to do with their excellent sense of smell and the location of New Jersey.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the Pickleburgh Pickle Festival and its move this year to the Andy Warhol bridge. 68% of quiztakers knew that both Andy Warhol and Roberto Clemente had bridges named after them in Pittsburgh, PA. Warhol was born there but became famous in New York City, while Roberto Clemente was born in Puerto Rico but became famous in Pittsburgh while playing for MLB's Pirates.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Richard Donner's first major movie. Only 45% of quiztakers knew that he directed the original version of "The Omen" back in 1976, before hitting it big with such films as "Superman"., "The Goonies", and "Lethal Weapon". I always wonder what a director thinks of people wanting to remake their earlier films. Is it a compliment, or does some young upstart think he can do it better? 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the newest LEGO Ideas set. 92% of quiztakers knew that $79.99 will get you the set of Jerry's apartment from "Seinfeld". The set includes 5 minifigs, with the four main characters as well as Wayne Knight's Newman being represented. Which I assume will also be reused in the upcoming "Basic Instinct" interrogation scene set. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: We get to carry each other
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-07-21 1:04:27 PM (72 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

This past weekend was pretty rough.  We had three Farkers pass, two of whom we haven't been able to post a thread about pending permission from their families - we're still waiting to hear back.  Be safe out there, folks.

Speaking of being safe out there, I'll be riding a bike across Iowa next week.  The timing seems to coincide with the upcoming Covid-19 third wave surge.

Back when Covid kicked off last year, my dad, who is 75 years old, was playing three to four times a week in a senior softball league.  He and his teammates got together to figure out what to do for the 2020 season.  They decided to keep playing, but took every possible precaution.  Even still, there was no way to completely eliminate risk.  I talked to my dad about it, he said he didn't think he could make it through the pandemic without softball.  He could let everything else go but not that.  He understood there were risks but he was at peace with them.

I feel the same regarding this bike ride.  I'm vaccinated, I'll be outside the entire time, I'm packing masks because I don't trust rural Iowa sensibilities about vaccines, etc. etc.  I was going to visit some friends on the way back home, but they have an unvaccinated daughter, so we've postponed until later.  There's still some risk, but I need to do this.

I know this won't satisfy everyone, but that's why I'm still going.  Follow along on my Instagram feed where I'll be posting pics along the 450-mile route.

But the real reason I need to go do this is because if I don't, I'm going to keep gaining weight until I look like this guy. Congrats to my doppelganger for winning the NBA championship last night

One more thing: The Fark News Livestream will be off this week and next, then return in August.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
little big man figured someone might benefit from an ex-spouse's arrest
Driedsponge responded to the argument that Richard Branson didn't technically go to space
weddingsinger argued against the notion that the inconvenience of charging electric vehicles during long trips forces one to "slow down and enjoy the journey"
E.S.Q. expressed surprise at a report that men in one Iranian city have a habit of cracking something most people wouldn't want to crack
mcmnky suggested other things be prioritized before someone who refused to get vaccinated is given a lung transplant
Ponzholio adapted a religious poem to fit modern-day needs
The Googles Do Nothing explained why it would still acceptable if a gun concealed within a bible were to misfire
UberDave broke into song to celebrate the legalization of "the process of converting bodies into soil"
skinink showed us a COVID-19 outbreak at a Texas megachurch
Pocket Ninja called someone out on their sarcasm

Smart:
ltnor asked the important question about a woman's fight to wear teeny tiny shorts on a plane
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class found one group's objections to the legal composting of human remains to be a bit much
UngaBeat thought there could be better options for charging electric vehicles than sitting at charging stations
somedude210 plans to one day answer the question, "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"
edmo knew what you should do to make sure your note pleading for help is taken seriously by cops
Lsherm explained how obvious the problem with construction of the Kansas City Hyatt Regency Hotel's skywalks that led to their devastating 1981 collapse should have been
151 described what some restaurants are doing in order to try to fully staff their businesses
mrmopar5287 shared a theory on why the the parents of the toddler whose grandfather dropped her out a cruise ship window are focused on holding the cruise line responsible

Politics Funny:
Ginnungagap42 had a much better commercial for Freedom Phone
Prof. Frink discussed real estate prices in Florida
grokca guessed at what might be a significant song to many Americans
ElPrimitivo helped out when Farkers were disturbed that Donald Trump Jr. posted a picture of his dad's face on Tupac Shakur's body
ralphjr provided a dramatic illustration of Shostie's autocorrect fail

Politics Smart:
NotCodger touted the main feature of Freedom Phone
claytonemery examined the reasons one might want to work for Donald Trump
rohar revealed the sneaky, underhanded techniques one fast food restaurant is using to stay fully staffed
weddingsinger gave an insider's view of the problems some restaurants claim to be having because "people don't want to work"
GitOffaMyLawn tried to help someone who didn't trust the COVID-19 vaccines


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out why dinosaurs didn't eat much cheese
RedZoneTuba showed us what happens to unsold Stretch Armstrong dolls
Yammering_Splat_Vector brought back a departed Beatle
Yammering_Splat_Vector spotted something strange in the sky
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that not a lot has changed for a former Trump Cabinet member and his spouse
Yammering_Splat_Vector got ready to put one of these on every corner
Yammering_Splat_Vector revealed what warriors eat for dinner
Kick The Chair showed us why this guy prefers to have a beard
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a hare in the ice cream
RedZoneTuba brewed a new beer for Fark

Captions:
From
This good boi and his friends need a caption:
dionysusaur had a simple question
Unobtanium was reminded of a classic cartoon
Benevolent Misanthrope felt that this dog was exactly where he wanted to be
tmyk sang about this pup's predicament

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell vol. 10: The Moon's Time to Shine
Lamberts Ho Man took a stunning photo of some red rocks in Green River

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Create new services that nobody has asked for nor would want and illustrate them in action. Inspired by this Tweet as an example: "Couchr - delivering random furniture to your doorstep without notice©." Illustrate your own silly service idea using any medium and tell us what it does.

Farktography: A Bridge Too Far
tfarmer001 snapped three bridges being eaten by the mist monster


Beyond Fark

We're sad to have recently lost Farker Mztlplx. His friend technomuse wrote a loving tribute to him in a recent NASCAR thread, which also was Mztlplx's memorial thread since he was a beloved member of the NASFARK community. He was also a member of fWc, Fark's wrestling fan community.  Mztlplx participated in threads all across Fark and TotalFark, and he was often a high scorer on Fark Weird News Quizzes. Our hearts go out to his family and friends, and we're grateful to have had him share some of his humor and friendship with us.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although a glitch (which turned out to be a PEBKAC error on my part) caused a few quiztakers to get too many questions. So here are the top 10 results:

Buzzerguy - 1195
TheCheese - 1107
catmander - 987
KumquatMay - 981
AirForceVet - 980
Denjiro - 940
ANDizzleWI - 939
Walker - 930
kona - 927
State_College_Arsonist - 923

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the proposed location for the upcoming International Salsa Museum. Only 26% of quiztakers knew that combination of Cuban son mutono (literally "mountain sound") with influences of jazz, mambo, and other styles that we know as "salsa" came about in The Bronx in New York City in the 1970s. Interestingly, the table dip we know as "salsa" also came about in Mexican restaurants in the United States, and is rarely seen in restaurants in Mexico outside of tourist areas where foreigners "expect it". 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about legendary television writer and creator Delia Fiallo, known as the "mother of the telenovela". 98% of quiztakers knew that a Latin telenovela was the equivalent of an American soap opera. Although I think they sell detergente y jabón in their commercials instead.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about AMC and their upcoming adaptations of Anne Rice novels. Only 55% of quiztakers knew that her 1976 novel "Interview With a Vampire" was actually her first novel in the "Vampire Chronicles" series, and would be AMC's first adaptation. Let's hope they decide against another attempt at "Exit to Eden", or at least pick a better cast than Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which 1999 TV show launched the careers of Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Jason Segel. 95% of quiztakers remembered those guys from the NBC show "Freaks & Geeks". "The State" was an MTV sketch comedy show whose most famous alums were probably Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Get your w00tstout on with Drew
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-07-14 3:14:49 PM, edited 2021-07-15 2:56:34 PM (36 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

We've got a new thing that is quite an overhaul of an old thing that I'll talk more about it next week's NotNewsletter - but if you want to see it sooner, we'll be launching it to TotalFarkers tomorrow afternoon!  Stay tuned for a TotalFark Discussion thread on that, we could use some eyes on the project.  It's been awhile coming.  Everyone else gets to find out in next week's NotNewsletter.

The Fark News Livestream returns Thursday at 5:30 p.m. [UPDATE: The Livestream had to be canceled this week, expected to return next week].  We've been on a hell of a roll for the last two weeks, and this week is shaping up to be another banner week in weird.

Also on Thursday at 7 p.m., if you happen to live near or in Lexington, KY, I'll be hosting a W00tstout tapping at Mr Brews Taphouse over near the Meijer on Reynolds Road.  Come join us - but if you're unvaccinated, stay the hell home. Dallan's going to make an appearance too for you livestream folks since he lives in the next neighborhood over from there.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Tom Marvolo Bombadil made note of the symbols in a headline about an off-duty cop getting himself knocked out
Walker pointed out one of the many problems with a bathroom in a real estate listing
Creepy Lurker Guy was confused by a Fark headline about Burger King
Kubo predicted what could happen when GrubHub starts using driverless robots from Russian tech company Yandex in Philadelphia
aagrajag shared a story about having a bad flu as a child
vudukungfu was confused about who Stephen Dorff is
UberDave described singer Dua Lipa's background
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class accepted blame for fireworks for Ocean City, Maryland's July Fourth show going off in the morning
homeless_need_help figured out the problem when a woman claimed her husband was threatening divorce over her father's teasing
darth sunshine showed a man defending his use of racial slurs

Smart:
arrogantbastich shared a story about selfish jerks who still haven't learned
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class told us about a dirtbag big bank that got too greedy
wademh gave a great explanation of how the Epsilon COVID-19 variant resists some of the antibodies in vaccinated people, and how the immune system fights back
Adolf Oliver Nipples shared a personal story to remind us to always use protection
Felgraf explained why so many people dislike Elon Musk
Target Builder reiterated the reason it's important to stop the spread of COVID-19
Dinjiin looked at who's using most of the water in Nevada
Lsherm told us about a friend who works for Amazon

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer road trips
Smart: ProcrastinationStation told us about road trips with dad driving, mom knitting, and a sister putting on a show
Funny: Recoil Therapy nearly freaked out as an approaching driver did something strange and kind of spooky

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
AdmirableSnackbar explained why the Israeli Defense Forces joined the rescue and recovery effort in Surfside
First New Username In Many Years told us about Kevin Sorbo's academic accolades
duppy figured out the real reason why so many women won't date Trumpers
scottydoesntknow translated Kevin Sorbo's message
BizarreMan looked at how it worked out for someone who was afraid to get vaccinated against COVID-19

Politics Smart:
Chariset responded to a tweet that said "the Bible and the Constitution are not supposed to be separate"
diIdo tontine addressed cancel culture's attack on Captain America
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class looked at how Hobby Lobby walks the walk
Ishkur shared a story about how Michael Cohen should've known what Trump is from the very beginning
This Is Bold Text had a suggestion on what to do about the Q conspiracy believer in your life


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
zeon wanted "The Price is Right" to award the best prize ever
markie_farkie hoped to win something to help with an upcoming party
RedZoneTuba hired a very good decorator
RedZoneTuba served some coffee to Abby Normal
Yammering_Splat_Vector created a cocktail for Farkers on a budget
FarkingIceHole revealed that it wasn't breaking the world record that Karsten Warholm was reacting to
RedZoneTuba found a new renaissance festival sponsor
Yammering_Splat_Vector wasn't ready to commit on a new pet
RedZoneTuba gave this gargoyle a bit of an update
west.la.lawyer made one cat's day even worse than it already was

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell vol. 9: Let The Sun Shine
This one ended in a tie with sxacho's high school art project and Squid_for_Brainseclipsing shadows

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell vol. 10: The Moon's Time To Shine. SHOW us an art creation you've made featuring the moon at center stage, or you can create moon art especially for this, and TELL us about it. Any medium allowed. Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contest before. Be sure to tell us about its inspiration, materials or backstory, etc.

Farktography: Bang 2
This contest ended in a tie between DorisLessingCat's waterfall scene and Herb Utsmelz's Brood XIX bug


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, with only one quiztaker making the 1000 club. Top honors go to jurisenpai, who leads the pack with 1047, followed by vonster in second with 937 and Denjiro in third with 926. Texa$ made fourth with 915, and Auntie Cheesus rounds out the top five with 911.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what Alan Shepard took with him in his first flight into space to prove to the Fédération Aéronautique Internationale that he was indeed the same person who took off from the launching pad 100 miles away a mere 15 minutes previously. Since there was no way for the observers to make this same trip in that short time, they had to have another way of proving it. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that the French guys handed Shepard a US $1 bill, and then verified the serial numbers with observers at the end of the flight via radio to prove that he was himself. This same system was used with a $1 bill for all of the early American space programs.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about lidar technology. 85% of quiztakers knew that laser-based radar technology is used mainly in the self-driving automobile sector, as itt helps computers be aware of their surroundings. Personally, I think they should choose a better name, perhaps one without "lie" in it, if they want me to trust it. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about who Disney had signed on to star in their upcoming "Tower of Terror" movie based on the theme park ride. Only 46% of quiztakers knew that Scarlet Johansson had two Oscar nominations under her belt, for "Marriage Story" and "Jojo Rabbit" and will star in the upcoming flick. Benedict Cumberbatch has only one, for "The Imitation Game." 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about what Proctor & Gamble would be sending up to the space station. 80% of quiztakers knew that NASA would soon be experimenting with a special formulation of Tide laundry detergent, as currently astronauts are like teenagers in that they wear their clothes until either the sleeves no longer bend or the legs try to crawl away when they go to put them on. The P&G people hope that a new low-water usage detergent can also be useful here on the ground in areas with troubled water supplies.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Baby, it's hot outside
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-07-08 1:38:53 PM, edited 2021-07-08 1:40:14 PM (38 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.  And your holiday weekend, for that matter.  I'm currently stuck in that four-day work week time warp that makes four-day weeks seem somehow longer than five-day weeks.

The Fark News Livestream returns today at 5:30 p.m.  It's been a weird week with surprisingly few weird fireworks-related stories. By that I mean there were a ton of stories, but none of them had interesting sidebar angles.  However, if you know of one, send it over.  This week's theme appears to be Weird Crime.  For example, who knew meth isn't a good Narcan replacement?

Also - this is your semi-regular reminder to sign up for TotalFark.  Want to know how many signups it takes to make my day brighter?  Three.  Yup, that's it - just three new signups per day.  Wanna be one of those three?  Now's your chance.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Boo_Guy reacted to news that Bill Cosby's rape conviction was overturned
bostonguy made plans to send text messages without ending them with "aggressive" periods
We Ate the Necco Wafers reviewed the local Hooters restaurant
wademh explained posting the same Virginia vanity license plate twice
Sexy Jesus mows the lawn with spite
AsparagusFTW showed how Drew helps out when Fark has server problems
kudayta defended the way an author used a word
Joe USer knew what it's like for parents who named their kids Alexa
fragMasterFlash passionately argued against Cosby's release
ArcadianRefugee came up with a way to avoid having to mow the lawn

Smart:
freddyV questioned some strangers about their windmill
Redh8t had a theory on why surveys show people have fewer friends in 2021 than they did in 1990
Chthonic Echoes suggested one phenomenon affects the number of friends we have
Three Crooked Squirrels looked at Ghislaine Maxwell's lawyer's attempt to compare her situation to Bill Cosby's
cr7pilot had a personal connection to a story about a cargo plane that made an emergency landing in the water near Honolulu
Flappyhead analyzed what made "Big Trouble in Little China" such a great movie
weddingsinger showed us a personal example of why we should get vaccinated and wear masks

CSB Sunday Morning: That one 4th of July you'll never forget
Smart: wademh ate some cinnamon rolls, played some pinball, had a baby
Funny: unchellmatt learned to listen to the freelance pharmacist

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
EvilEgg was shocked by the kind of smut found on GETTR, the new Trumper social media platform
BizarreMan explained why even Trump's biggest fans are getting bored at his rallies
victrin wrote an epitaph for Donald Rumsfeld
Farking Clown Shoes let us know which cartoon character Donald Trump Jr. is
Pinnacle Point figured out how Trump could increase the size of his rallies

Politics Smart:
anjin-san argued that charges against the Trump Organization and their CFO aren't so far-fetched
bloobeary had a theory on why Republicans like to "insult" Democrats by saying they're like Jimmy Carter
TheOmni examined Caitlyn Jenner's views on homelessness
wademh gave credit to a group of Republicans
grokca looked at the horror that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis helped his state to avoid


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba found a kid getting help to stay up all night
zeon showed us why this man still dresses in schoolboy uniforms
clovercat finally found out what that tiny desk was for
bugdozer witnessed a crash on The Far Side
Yammering_Splat_Vector got impatient for the sun to set
bugdozer showed what must be a class for aspiring firehouse dogs
Kick The Chair got stuck in the middle
Wrongo caught up with a former president
RedZoneTuba turned baseball into more of a contact sport
bugdozer added some familiar tiles to this building

Fartist Friday took a week off. This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell vol. 9: Let The Sun Shine. SHOW us an art creation you've made where either the Sun or Sunshine is the star of the show, or create one especially for this, and TELL us about it. Any medium allowed. Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contest before. Be sure to tell us about its inspiration, materials or backstory, etc.

Farktography: Botany
beerrun snapped a pink and purple beauty

Fark Parties

This Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although I still can't figure out how to stop being bombarded with shoe ads. Apparently it was a bit on the difficult side this week, since no one came close to the 1000 club. Sliding Carp came out on top with 823, followed by flowerpower in second with 786 and dracos31 in third with 743. Booklet made fourth with 742, and OtherLittleGuy made fifth with 736.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which sports figure would be again gracing the Wheaties Box to kick off its 100th Anniversary Century Collector Series. Only 21% of quiztakers knew the Wheaties people had chosen Muhammad Ali for the honor. The first person to grace a Wheaties box was Yankees legend Lou Gehrig, and the person who has been featured the most is Michael Jordan - a whopping 18 different boxes, and he's a shoo-in for another one in this new series. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company lost $4 billion in market share on the same day that Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo removed their product from view during a press conference. 82% of quiztakers knew that it was two bottles of Coca-Cola that he didn't want to have to peek around to see the people asking him questions. I mean, did they expect an athlete in top physical condition just before one of the most important games of his career to pop open a bottle of pure sugar and take a swig? What's next, razor companies leaving their products on the podiums in case a quarterback decides to shave mid-press conference?

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what souvenir from Disney's "Cruella" was stolen from the Tom Davies store in Sloane Square, London. Only 45% of quiztakers recognized Tom Davies as one of the world's top manufacturers of designer eyeglasses, and the ones stolen from the store were actually worn in the movie and intended for a charity auction. And as anyone who wears corrective lenses can tell you, losing one's eyeglasses is never fun because you can't see to look for them.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about singer George O'Dowd, who is currently looking for someone to play a younger version of himself in an upcoming biopic. 82% of quiztakers recognized the birth name of Culture Club's Boy George, and that "Karma Chameleon" was the inevitable name of the movie in the same way that "Bohemian Rhapsody" was pretty much the only thing they could have called the Freddie Mercury biopic.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you should catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Once you're done there, be sure to check out this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Shipping gas and fireworks, hopefully not together
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-30 2:12:24 PM, edited 2021-06-30 7:45:42 PM (28 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 


Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

Several times a year every year we've seen articles about how there will be traffic before Memorial Day / July 4th / Labor Day / Thanksgiving / Christmas, etc., but for the second time in the 22 year history of Fark, we've had a new variation.  This year apparently there's a risk running out of gas due to a truck driver shortage.  On the one hand, it's nice to see a new version of the same old article. But on the other hand, I wish it could have been something more upbeat.  On the same note, we've been seeing articles about a firework shortage since last week.  That one I find suspicious because the warning's being sounded by the same folks who make the fireworks.  I might be willing to risk that one.

Speaking of other new twists on news tropes, someone baked cookies in his car in Pennsylvania.  I may give this a try myself later.

The Fark News Livestream is set for Thursday, 5:30 p.m.  The top 15 story pool was a little thin, but then Wednesday happened and we are locked and loaded.  Get ready for a bumper crop of buried ledes.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
puffy999 defended theories on the cause of the partial collapse of a building in Florida in a reply to potierr
dave0821
wondered about the 22.5-year prison sentence given to Derek Chauvin
T-Boy speculated on John McAfee's death
Eravior figured that other companies could follow Peloton's lead of bricking their products for non-subscribers
DarkSoulNoHope envisioned a bad sign from Boeing
Benevolent Misanthrope shared a story about a frustrated man defending his mailbox
NewportBarGuy had a guess about the collapsed condo building near Miami
Johnson feared more changes after Peloton tried going subscription-only
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class had a different name for the new dating show that has participants wearing elaborate costumes
Nurglitch expanded on the belief that men lose "life force" every time they ejaculate

Smart:
Gyrfalcon put Derek Chauvin's sentence into perspective
scottydoesntknow defended a man who installed a reinforced mailbox after previous ones kept getting damaged
Benevolent Misanthrope shared a story about a frustrated man defending his mailbox
scottydoesntknow shared a story about a kid whose purpose in life was to serve as a warning to others
Pocket Ninja had a theory about the brotherhood of the semen keepers
I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise predicted the next group the sperm retainers will join
adamatari's grandfather managed to escape from a Native American boarding school

CSB Sunday Morning: A brush with fame
Smart: LineNoise had a couple of memorable encounters with Val Kilmer
Funny: Gulper Eel got stomped by Ray Charles

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Rev.K pointed out that Joe Biden is failing as president
Rev.K celebrated news that the Manhattan D.A. is considering criminal charges against the Trump Organization
cretinbob told us what will happen now that Rudy Giuliani's law license has been suspended
RasIanI imagined how it feels to get smacked down by Jen Psaki
wejash came up with a name for Donald Trump's recent rally

Politics Smart:
sinner4ever had a theory on why Joe Manchin eventually supported the For the People Act
Pocket Ninja shared some information about the source of the video of Trump supporters protesting Kamala Harris in El Paso
weddingsinger went over a defense of not getting vaccinated for COVID-19
AtomPeepers saw the ultimate metaphor for Florida
edmo explained to people spreading conspiracy theories on Trump's behalf why they're getting unwanted reactions


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba created a portal for searching for Fark memes
Yammering_Splat_Vector whipped up a storm
Hyperbolic Hyperbole showed us how Google should celebrate Fark
Yammering_Splat_Vector adapted an animation from James Curran
clovercat shared evidence that the real estate market is out of control
RedZoneTuba did the thing with the woman making bull horns with her fingers
RedZoneTuba did the distracted boyfriend thing
RedZoneTuba did the "blown away" guy Maxell ad thing
Herb Utsmelz threw another boat parade from Trump
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a bug whose sound blows crickets and cicadas away

Captions:
From
Caption this boaty conversation:
Keyser_Soze_Death warned about an uninvited audience
markie_farkie had a common maritime misunderstanding
gopher321 overheard some good ol' country club happiness

Fartist Friday: Haikus about springtime
dothemath yelled at clouds

Fartist Friday will be taking the week off, but will return next week

Farktography:
Summer fun
Wrongo gave us a Superior sunset


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and my gutter project is coming in nicely between the heavy rains and ridiculous heat. On the Quiz itself, JasonOfOrillia is our sole entrant into the 1000 club with a score of 1003 and so gets to sample my made-from-scratch Maple Bacon Ice Cream. Denjiro made second with 969, HighwayBill came in third with 945, WoolyManwich made fourth with 927, and Wizzywig finished out the top five with 916.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about those wacky Aussies and how they celebrate not being killed by everything around them by ordering from Domino's. Only 34% of quiztakers knew that Salmon, roast pumpkin, and broccoli are now available as pizza toppings, which I imagine are perfect for losing a bet or when you're ordering for someone who you despise so much that pineapple just won't cut it. Their Salmon & Prawn Supreme actually sounds interesting, as it's on a crème fraiche base rather than tomato sauce, and I really wouldn't mind trying the Crispy BBQ Peking Duck & Bacon.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what happened on June 6, 1944. 84% of quiztakers recognized it as the day Allied forces embarked on the Great Crusade of the D-Day invasion, freeing France from Hitler's forces and resulting in a huge morale boost from the better food. Until Domino's came along and made pizza with mutton sausage and potatoes.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which fast food joint was trolling Chick-fil-A by donating money for every chicken sandwich sold during Pride Month to pro-LGBTQ+ causes. Only 49% knew that Burger King wanted to also be the Chicken Sandwich King this month, with 40 cents of every chicken sandwich sold going to The Human Rights Campaign. In case you're curious, they have Burger King in Australia, but they call it Hungry Jack's and they put bacon and avocado on their chicken sandwiches.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about a new cross-promotion breakfast cereal. 85% of quiztakers knew that Lucky Charms were temporarily Loki Charms in a Disney cross-promotion. I'm not sure what comes on pizza in Asgard or the TVA, but if that leprechaun is back in Ireland for his time off, he's probably eating the same stuff we get at Domino's here in the US, like the Chicken Taco Pizza or Cheeseburger Pizza, the latter of which has mustard on it for some godforsaken reason.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can make up for it now that you know a few answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and don't forget to check out this week's Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Summer's already getting all hotted up
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-23 12:29:39 PM (33 comments) | Permalink

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A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

The Fark News Livestream is set for Thursday at 5:30 p.m.  We've got a pretty banner week on deck, and for some reason there are a lot of weird sex stories.  Guess this summer's off to a pretty hot start.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
UberDave noticed unfortunate phrasing by a woman who unwittingly dated a serial killer
Barfmaker figured out why a guy who accidentally shot his friend had applied for a license to carry
Moroning explained why a woman murdered her husband by pouring boiling sugar water on him
Fear the Clam had some idea of what could've influenced a woman to allegedly commit a crime
Bowen shared a personal experience about Singapore's tough enforcement
Winterlight provided proof of a god's existence
brap took the side of women who protested a public sauna that requires women to wear tops
CheetahOlivetti found a way around the World Health Organization's supposed plan to ban women aged 18 to 50 to from drinking alcohol - Note: Articles claiming WHO was planning this ban are, of course, fake news
ThomasPaineTrain did not approve of a crime against pizza

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Ghastly alluded to how 16 cats got trapped in the wall of an abandoned house

Smart:
Snapper Carr built a case for "The Matrix" being the movie with the best opening scene
Merltech pointed out a decision that gave a drug addict the chance to finally turn her life around
Negative! I am a Meat Popsicle! gave an argument for "Watchmen" having the best movie intro
dave0821 explained why boiled water will burn someone even worse if there's sugar added to it
bobug wrote a beautiful obituary for Farker Real Women Drink Akvavit
Robo Beat discussed the varying quality of AmazonBasics products
Psychopusher analyzed the art from a Queen album cover
Fabric_Man extended Robo Beat's point about AmazonBasics

Politics Funny:
This Is Bold Text offered help for LGBTQ people who face discrimination when trying to become foster parents
hubiestubert reacted to the fact that Joe Biden got on one knee to thank Opal Lee, the 94-year-old "Grandmother of Juneteenth"
HighOnCraic was impressed that Marjorie Taylor Greene was able to learn that the Holocaust was worse than a slight inconvenience
Tom Marvolo Bombadil pointed out how evil vaccines are
Martian_Astronomer responded to a theory on why Ted Lieu tweeted at the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops about his morals

Politics Smart:
wejash looked at what could happen if U.S. Marshals are allowed to walk off the job with prisoners when they don't get their way
rickythepenguin reacted to Rep. Paul Gosar's claim that a Capitol police officer was "lying in wait" to shoot Ashli Babbitt
joshiz suggested a compromise if Republicans insist on including voter ID in any voting rights bill
weddingsinger considered what it means that homeownership is becoming more unattainable for many Americans
duppy replied to Tucker Carlson's concern that Juneteenth will replace Independence Day


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed CNN rolling the tape
Wrongo held a Warner Bros. casting call
Mojongo's roadrunner was tired of farking around
RedZoneTuba showed us that Marty needed to cut back on smoking
opalakea took a closer look at this sculpture
RedZoneTuba revealed the cast of an upcoming "Brady Bunch" reboot
Wrongo designed some new shades for Elton John
Yammering_Splat_Vector spotted a curvaceous woman wading in the water
clovercat shared a photo of the guy who got kicked out of the Men in Black for wearing navy blue
RedZoneTuba foiled the anti-drone team

Fartist Friday: Ads for vegetables
Mojongo made an ad imploring us to consider our coworkers

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we'll be writing Odes to Spring as the season has come to an end. Create an original 5-7-5 Haiku about Springtime.

Farktography: Shimmer
This contest ended in a tie between CiliarySpasm's glittery ocean and Unobtanium's sparkling sea  


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and I'm about ready to give in to the "subscription model" for my weed trimmer line. The 1000 Club remains empty this week, which means I have time to wait for the new spools to get in and have the place nicely trimmed and edged for next week. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 968, followed by No Catchy Nickname in second with 897 and runwiz in third with 836. Texa$ made fourth with 830, and Agarista came out in fifth with 829.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about Alki beach, where a number of fights caused police to bust up the first real post-pandemic party and send all the TikTokers home. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that Alki beach is one of the most popular beaches in Seattle, Washington, and is the place where settlers first landed to establish the town. This is where the Denny Party met Chief Seattle in 1851, and named their new town in his honor after he and his tribe helped the settlers survive the winter. The beach is named for the Chinook word for "by and by" and not for the large number of drinking establishments in the area.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the Kharg, a naval vessel which caught fore and sank this week. 77% of quiztakers knew that this was the largest combat ship in the navy of Iran. A spokesperson denied rumors the navy is currently asking for inflatable pool toys and water pistols to keep their sailors occupied while a replacement is procured.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the new Kellogg's/Little Debbie mashup. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that they can now get their chocolate snacky cake fix in a bowl with the new Cosmic Brownies Cereal. Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if these breakfast cereal manufacturers are heavily invested in diabetes treatment, and if not, how incompetent their financial department must be at missing this business opportunity.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the reissue of the 1977 album "Animals" being held up by a dispute about liner notes. 88% of quiztakers recognized the album as the work of Pink Floyd, or at least recognized that the Roger Waters/David Gilmour relationship would be something that would easily hold up a huge pile of money over something so relatively petty. The sound engineers have had another 20 years to perfect the technology that made the incredible Dark Side of the Moon re-release, so here's hoping they can come to an agreement soon.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, be sure to catch up on it now that you know some of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Which tourist attraction is "like Cthulhu decorated a TGI Fridays"?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-16 12:40:40 PM, edited 2021-06-16 12:41:48 PM (44 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

I teased a thing about Snopes last week, however it's been kicked 'til the end of the month.  I also teased an upcoming kinda dumb idea for Fark, that got postponed 'til later today.  Depending on how it goes, I might post a TotalFark Discussion thread to solicit opinions.  Sorry about the lack of updates on both those fronts, I blame summertime.

The Fark News Livestream returns Thursday at 5:30 p.m. ET - Dallan and I were both travelling last week, so we had a hiatus.  Based on the speed of the news cycle this morning, we'll have a ton of interesting stuff including what post-pandemic shortages to expect next, why your dog smells like corn chips, and a history of Batman not doing oral.  When I was a kid, I thought my dog was just sneaking Fritos. Turns out there's another explanation.

Speaking of travel last week, I dropped in to visit House on the Rock.  I think I was last there 25 years ago.  Still super ass weird, like Cthulhu decorated a TGI Fridays.  Also for anyone wondering, the entire tour racks up about 8,000 steps according to my health app.

On an unrelated note, does anyone live along this year's RAGBRAI route? If this question doesn't mean anything to you, the answer is no. However, if you do, hit me up - tag me in the Fark NotNewsletter thread by bolding my name in your comment. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
CarnySaur could see why a plastic mat from a Twister game would be an appropriate substitution for a pride flag
EdwardTellerhands tried to make sense of a confusing headline
Mr. Coffee Nerves shared the first rule of home decorating
asciibaron answered a question about dating
bostonguy thought about what you should or shouldn't own once you turn 30
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs figured out how to go about leaving a spouse who drinks 200 beers a week
EnzoTheCoder witnessed an impressive feat that was accomplished while crashing a boat
vudukungfu had an idea of what the upcoming fourth Matrix film could be about
AnotherBluesStringer explained what winning at Tetris actually means

Smart:
Mr. Coffee Nerves shared the first rule of home decorating
Ragin' Asian shared a story about being questioned by a self-appointed authority on who "belongs" in the neighborhood
CarnySaur could see why a plastic mat from a Twister game would be an appropriate substitution for a pride flag
SpectroBoy speculated on why some cruise lines are requiring COVID-19 testing for unvaccinated passengers
Cache told us about a woman who presumably had plenty of money doing something really trashy
stray_capts talked about being a good neighbor without being a racist clown
Gubbo had a suggestion for anyone who's in charge of ensuring users have secure passwords

CSB Sunday Morning: How you met your significant other
Smart: Jesus McSordid found love in the dungeon
Funny: HeadbangerSmurf fell for a talker

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Officer Barrelroll knew who was responsible for making it appear that Donald Trump's pants were on backwards
mrshowrules pointed out that Joe Biden engaged in nepotism in a way that Trump did not
Badmoodman had an idea that would follow Trump's advice to avoid cyberattacks by decreasing computer use
Hubris Boy learned one thing from a Fox News article about people working in the Biden administration who're related to one another
Combustion figured out how MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell could've gotten more people to show up for his "Frank" rally

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Headso revealed the truth about the COVID-19 vaccines turning people magnetic - because this thread was originally greenlit, before it was redlit as a duplicate, the comments are still visible even to people who do not have TotalFark

Politics Smart:
swaniefrmreddeer shared a story about the high cost of emergency room visits
FlashHarry discussed the security of Sens. Joe Manchin's and Kyrsten Sinema's positions as senators
Badmoodman summed up Manchin's philosophy
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That spoke up for white farmers
revrendjim looked at which country is responsible for most of the carbon dioxide emissions in the atmosphere


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
zeon did what must be done to all tunnels in Photoshop contests
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that the Twin Towers didn't look quite how you remember them
bugdozer created a website devoted to a very specific form of pareidolia
RedZoneTuba showed how one celebrity gets that camera-ready glow
HailRobonia found someone who appreciates gifts from Aunt Clara
samsquatch made a change to a classic book cover
samsquatch's big cat wasn't fooled by an impostor
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out what happens when a mantis has been praying to the devil
bugdozer brought in a power plant aficionado to say goodbye
zeon showed off a portrait of the king

Fartist Friday: The ocean
PhotoshopCrazy sent an S.O.S. to the world

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of National Eat Your Vegetables Day, create a new original advertisement for your favorite vegetable, and really sell it. Promote those potatoes, hype some haricots, ballyhoo some broccoli! Use any medium to make your artwork, and remember you have to make your entries brand spanking new for this contest.

Farktography: Same Stuff, Different Day 2
CiliarySpasm showed us the ol' uni-ball


Beyond Fark

We're very sad about the recent loss of Farker Real Women Drink Akvavit. She was a well-loved member of Fark's Caturday community, and this comment from fellow Caturdayer Mitch Taylor's Bro speaks to how the group felt about her:

"Sylvia, you were, and will continue to be, an inspirational light in a dark, stormy sea. A fighter of the good fight. A lover of the unloved, two legs and four. (And maybe three?) An oasis of compassion and generosity in a cold, self-centered world. Thank you for being you and sharing your love with the rest of the world. For giving us a higher standard we can all aspire to. To say you will be missed is both obvious and an understatement. May you rest in peace...and may God have earplugs thick enough so you can enjoy your favorite music the way it was meant to be enjoyed."

You can find out more about Real Women Drink Akvavit by visiting her Fark profile page, where she wrote about her illness, some of her interests, and her love for Fark's Caturday community. This coming Caturday thread will be dedicated to Real Women Drink Akvavit, so keep an eye out for it and feel free to drop in to pay your respects.


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's quiz, although I'm still kinda unsure on the odd flavored ice cream. On the Quiz itself, Dead Skin Mask came out on top with 1021 and is joined in the 1000 club by Recoil Therapy who made 1019. Unfortunately, I'm not making any more ice cream until the rest of the pesto stuff is gone, so that's what we have for refreshments this week. scottdrummer came in third with 971, jerrysloan21 made fourth with  968, and Sebas rounds out the top five with 937.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which Disneyland attraction has been shut down for extensive remodeling because it's basically falling apart. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that it was The Matterhorn which was not a part of the park's initial lineup of rides, but was added later in 1959. Fun fact: The Matterhorn was constructed because Disney needed to do something with the mountain of dirt left over from excavating the moat around Sleeping Beauty's Castle, since people were using it as a remote area to... get to know one another better. Yeah. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which country's military forced a passenger plane to divert and land so that a journalist on board could be arrested. 90% of quiztakers knew that it was Belarus who had just decided they no longer needed commercial air travel from other countries. I mean, say what you want about Putin, but he doesn't really inconvenience other air travelers when he has a problem with a journalist. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which TV channel now had its own branded hard seltzer. Only 29% of quiztakers knew that it was indeed the same channel that had its own wine - the Hallmark Channel. I'm not really sure of the demographic they're going for here, but I say there's nothing wrong with getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things. Unless it's watching Hallmark movies because I'm not going to do that.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which major film star was also a highly decorated WWII fighter pilot who retired as a Brigadier General. 81% knew that it was Jimmy Stewart who flew sorties and bombing missions in Europe throughout the war. After enlisting at 33, he learned he was too old for cadet training, so he applied for an officer commission on the basis of his flight experience and college degree. The war meant rapid promotion, and he wound up going from private to colonel in less than four years. He was promoted to Major General post-retirement by Ronald Reagan.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on it now.

Congratulations to the winners, and be sure to check out this week's Fark Weird News Quiz
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Carb-free since 2014. Crab-free since this morning
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-09 9:48:54 AM, edited 2021-06-09 12:22:17 PM (55 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been well.

Every once in awhile something massively important shows up in the news cycle but fails to get traction for whatever reason.  Some of you probably saw the article about the FBI making an encryption app and managing to get 9,000 folks, mostly involved in organized crime, to use it for primary messaging.  Whoops.  I'm expecting more entertaining stories to come out of that one, so stay tuned. In the very least it's a big deal, and depending on what else is on there the sky is the limit.

Also of note: Snopes.com, a friend of ours since the late '90s, started selling a mystery puzzle box package. For now I just wanted to bring it to your attention.  As for why, we'll talk more about it next week.  The tl;dr version is now would be a great time to sign up for TotalFark - we may have a really fun discussion on deck next week.  Seriously, it's extra dumb.

No Fark News Livestream this week, Dallan and I are both on the road.  He's in Utah doing whatever he does in Utah, I'm in Cedar Rapids speaking at EntreFEST, which is a great time if you're local and inclined to join.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Sin'sHero decided to try using more hemisphere-inclusive language when discussing seasons
GreatGlavinsGhost responded to knackx's suggestion that context is an important part of communication
jim32rr realized something about Burger King's menu
The Googles Do Nothing explained the sad truth about how the world works
Pocket Ninja shared a little-known fact about growing almonds in California
Tr0mBoNe agreed that we should consider other time zones when communicating on the internet
ryebread revealed the real COVID-19 conspiracy
Bill_Wick's_Friend reacted to a man on a plane being taken down by passengers and flight crew when he tried to break into the cockpit
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That accepted a compliment with humility
The Pope of Manwich Village spotted the cause of a devastating car crash in Hawaii

Smart:
optikeye remembered a feature some old cars had that would never be allowed today
Fingerware Error brought up car gadgets that used to work differently
40 degree day shared a story about a recent encounter with an erratic driver
AirForceVet told us how local noise ordinances have been used to protect people
ryebread revealed the real COVID-19 conspiracy
Magorn pointed out probably the best part about saving the lives of some bigots who were harassing you [Note: Be sure to check this story out if you missed it]
jso2897 called out some dam effects of climate change

CSB Sunday Morning: Wait, that actually happened? Tell your surreal stories
Smart: Devolving_Spud described an eerie encounter with ball lightning
Smart (honorable mention since it's probably not surreal to anyone else): Hey Nurse! shared a story about meeting a hottie at a Chinese food buffet
Funny: Ker_Thwap's friend was an unlikely hero
Funny (honorable mention because the same story won three years ago): Flab witnessed something strange at Burger King

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
This Is Bold Text explained what "antifa symbols" look like
hugram revealed the real reason Donald Trump had his blog shut down
Maturin had a suggestion for handling complaints that Annie Leibovitz was taking photos of Jen Psaki after not taking any of the women of the Trump administration
JerseyTim responded to the strange complaint that "gays are celebrated for a full month while veterans only get one day"
Sin'sHero recognized the high school Tucker Carlson went to from the photo that NewportBarGuy posted

Politics Smart:
hardinparamedic discussed Arizona's plans to use Zyklon B to execute people sentenced to death, with this follow-up comment about capital punishment
diIdo tontine pointed out one of the problems with a North Carolina county's ban on Coke vending machines in county office buildings
GardenWeasel either made a prescient prediction or gave Republicans an idea
dhcmrlchtdj responded to Rep. Maria Salazar's claim that socialists and communists are antisemitic
Nadie_AZ recommended a book for those who are interested in learning more about U.S. history


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed Lindsey Graham paying tribute to his Irish background
samsquatch demonstrated how difficult life was before elastic was invented
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave the Fark mascot some festive adornments
RedZoneTuba revealed the ugly truth about Barney the dinosaur
Yammering_Splat_Vector found where Kirk hangs a photo from one of his treks
samsquatch designed a car that generates its own power
samsquatch showed what Farkers bought instead of a Trans Am for Uncle Joe
Kick The Chair showed the prize awarded to the runner-up
Yammering_Splat_Vector caught a fish in this picturesque setting
zeon fought an angry iguana

Fartist Friday: Album covers
steklo made a Fark album with a side of mustard

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of World Oceans Day, create some new-for-this-contest original artwork featuring the ocean. Use any medium you like - photography, painting, Photoshop, drawing, etc.


Farktography: Tracks
CiliarySpasm took a photo of a section of Snowpiercer's tracks


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, but since the 1000 club remains empty, I get to eat all the Polish spareribs myself. Good thing too, I can't fit more than half a rack on my grill at once. On the Quiz itself, State_College_Arsonist barely missed the 1000 club with a score of 997, followed by Tax Boy in second with 984 and dittybopper in third with 931. Glockenspiel Hero made fourth with 927, and Captain Orr made fifth with 923.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the city of Chula Vista, CA's new program to deal with emergency response. Only 35% of quiztakers knew that each 911 call that merited a police response would also get a drone for aerial reconnaissance. Personally, I think it's only being done for the extra camera angles on the new season of COPS, but hey, there are worse things that authorities could be sending out.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which movie the "Forever Marilyn" statue in Palm Springs, CA was inspired by. 91% of quiztakers recognized the subway grate scene as being from "The Seven Year Itch." "Strangers on a Train" was an Alfred Hitchcock thriller starring Farley Granger and Robert Walker, and "Roman Holiday" was an Audrey Hepburn romcom costarring Gregory Peck.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the #1 movie at the box office - "Spiral: Book of Saw". Only 50% of quiztakers knew that it featured Samuel L. Jackson swearing at Chris Rock. Which probably says something about the state of interest in theaters at the moment more than it says about Sam Jackson's box office draw. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about baklava. 97% of quiztakers recognized it as sheets of dough with nuts and sticky sauce, the other 3% thought you wore it on your head when conducting stealth operations when you didn't want to be recognized. Also, if you haven't tried baklava, I highly recommend it. But not while wearing a balaclava, as that can be messy. Take off the balaclava, put the baklava in your mouth, put the balaclava back on, and resume your stealth operation without the rumbly tummy that will inadvertently reveal your position.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you can catch up at this link.

Congratulations once again to the winners, and be sure to check out this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Much like that rash on your whosis, Fark Friday Movie Night is back
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-06-03 1:27:49 PM, edited 2021-06-03 1:52:20 PM (25 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Fark Livestream scheduling notes: No news livestream this week, however we -ARE- doing a Fark Friday Movie Night this Friday at 7 p.m. Movie TBA, but it should be awesome.  Grab a beverage and come join us.

No livestreams next week - both Dallan and I have travel out of town to different places.  I'll be in Cedar Rapids for EntreFest if anyone wants to grab a beer Wednesday-Saturday.  Might do some riding on Saturday if the weather's nice, hit me up if that's your thing.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
theteacher (user name checks out) explained what happened when students' senior prank involved putting plastic forks in the school's practice field
NewportBarGuy reacted to being suspended just weeks before graduation
WhippingBoi questioned Mugato's friendships
Super Chronic had the perfect description of a parental protest
Driedsponge discussed the average level of intelligence of members of various military branches
arkansized defended a small part of a woman's airport meltdown
Smoking GNU could see that arkansized was confused
Driver agreed with one of the complaints of a woman who had a run-in with airport security
Rip_Rufus shared an inspiring acronym for a youth program
Barfmaker figured out why prison guards didn't notice when one inmate murdered another inmate

Smart:
Too-Tall proposed a new penalty for people who harm public land adjacent to their property
Unobtanium figured that some gas hoarders were probably lucky to be robbed
Raymond Perjurytrap noticed interesting language in an article about police shooting at a kid they mistook for someone they were chasing
skyotter issued a statement about the search for a driver who police say nearly ran one of them over
RogueWallEnthusiast had an easy fix for a really weird safety reminder
Badmoodman shared a story about "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"

Politics Funny:
thorpe shared more information about a COVID-denying cop who died from COVID-19
Bill_Wick's_Friend thought about how that police officer could've survived COVID-19
Louisiana_Sitar_Club was angry about a Fark headline that mocked restaurant owners who don't want to pay employees enough and "only got into restauranting for the love of 18-hour days and over-buttering"
theteacher shared a short story about Matt Gaetz in a bar that didn't involve gaspedaling
LordBeavis wanted to kink shame Peter Doocy

Politics Smart:
Mr. Coffee Nerves wondered why workers aren't allowed to capitalism
optikeye had a suggestion for how social media sites should respond to Florida's attempts to keep them from moderating Republicans
Mr. Coffee Nerves bristled at comparisons of Donald Trump to Al Capone
NewportBarGuy looked at what forcing things like playing the national anthem leads to
dr_blasto figured that the fact that restaurants are having such a hard time finding workers is a sign of something bigger


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave a film studio the update they needed
Kick The Chair threw a party after an extra-long lockdown
Yammering_Splat_Vector spotted a very interesting ducky
RedZoneTuba found the world's worst neighbor
RedZoneTuba showed us who should've won Eurovision
Wrongo found out why it's important to keep the booze locked up
RedZoneTuba discovered what it looks like when new bridge officers know better than to wear the red uniforms
RedZoneTuba found bottles of Elsinore beer at the centre of Canada
samsquatch simply walked into Jurassic Park
Snubnose knew where the tropical vacation destination of the future will be

Fartist Friday: F'Artisting Outside The Box
common sense is an oxymoron refused to let this preening great blue heron fade into the background

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week our theme is "Album Covers." Ever say to yourself, "Self, this photo/painting/drawing I made looks like it could be an album cover"? Show us some artwork you've made that could be a neat album cover -- and tell us about that album. Also have I said "album cover" enough times? Album cover.

Farktography: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
This Farktography contest ended in a tie between beerrun's pretty little bird with a mullet and eyeliner and gorrck's glacier that's definitely blue raspberry flavored


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Beyond Fark (by Blythe)

Farkers raised a glass to andychrist420 last week. He was a regular member of the NHL live hockey threads, and a very long-time Farker, account number 1589.  His proudest achievement on Fark was back in 2017 with his play-by-play of two imaginary overtime hockey games being played by defunct teams, generating a 275-post thread and general associated mayhem. It's a great thread, already well-known to those who knew him, and a tribute to his time here on Fark.  Thanks, Andy.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although no one legitimately made the 1000 club. Still, a shout-out to Denjiro and the score of 1240 out of a theoretically possible 1400. For everyone else, bradley547 came out on top with 896, followed by buckwebb in second with 875 and LizardOnAStick, who made third with 847. dallylamma took fourth with 824, and a flying monkey made me do it rounds out the top five with 820.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which method of transportation was chosen by a bank robber in Clayton, MO. Only 29% of quiztakers caught the story about the woman who had a taxi take her around to three different banks in the city, robbing the third and apparently not realizing modern taxis have GPS and real-time monitoring. I'm still waiting for the first bank robber to use a jetpack. Because you know it's going to happen and as long as no one is hurt, the bank is going to be like "mad respect, man." 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the Oscar-winning song "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin. 84% of quiztakers recognized the song from the soundtrack to "Top Gun" long before it was featured in "Going the Distance" in one of the most creative uses of music in a love scene ever. No word on if it will be in the Top Gun sequel which is apparently looking for a Holiday 2028 release. 

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which game show once aired an episode featuring Weird Al Yankovic, Little Richard, and James Brown all competing against one another for charity. Only 33% remembered the 1994 episode of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. I am surprised to learn that even though he parodied the song :"Jeopardy", Weird Al never appeared on any of the celebrity episodes. Personally, I would have liked to have seen him against Wolf Blitzer.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Dax Shepard and his odd decision to post a nude pic of his wife (and mother of his children) on Mother's Day. 87% of quiztakers knew that the comedian is married to the national treasure we know as Kristen Bell, who also reposted the pic on her own social media. I would like to see them work together on something with more of a budget than "Hit and Run," although I don't think big-budget producers would let them do their own stunts like in that movie.

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll see you again on this week's Fark Weird News Quiz!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: What do vaccinated Kentuckians do for Memorial Day weekend?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-05-26 5:04:16 PM (47 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

I noticed our old friend, the AAA article about traffic will be out of control this Memorial Day weekend, is making the rounds.  It was a welcome sight for maybe the first time ever.  I don't recall what story they went with last year, but it certainly wasn't a record traffic weekend in 2020.  Nature is healing.

I'm warming up for some Memorial Day events, mostly involving traveling around KY back roads.  Some vaccinated friends are coming to visit and we're going to probably just hit one distillery after the other, as one does around here.

The Fark News Livestream is still on for 7 p.m. Thursday - come find out what you missed this week, along with the weirdest compilation of the news cycle you'll find this side of Florida.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
nytmare added to someone's spider tattoo menagerie
beezeltown wasn't worried about things that are expected to be in short supply over the summer
Dead for Tax Reasons knew the real reason an expectant father was so disappointed at his child's gender reveal party
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That was unmoved by complaints about a giant Marilyn Monroe statue
vudukungfu shared some information about how Vermont got 80 percent of their adult population at least partially vaccinated
syrynxx gave a look at what it's like for men who can't work because they're too well endowed
thealgorerhythm predicted an exciting future for a guy who was upset to learn his unborn child is a girl
Redh8t thought that changes have already been made to a Marilyn Monroe statue to help her fit in with Palm Springs locals
ArkAngel was impressed by the inclusion of a fact about California law in an article about a statue
bearded clamorer read between the lines in an article about a bridge that links Arkansas and Tennessee

Smart:
mrshowrules laid out ways police officers tend to escalate things
ShavedOrangutan had plenty of papers
Chariset brought up a contributing factor to a reported shortage of chicken meat
omg bbq explained a captain's role on a ship
Driedsponge had a message about doing bad things simply because you can get away with it
TeddyRooseveltsMustache had some information for employers who can't get their employees to come back to work
BeesNuts wanted people in charge to know something about certain "passive-aggressive' phrases

CSB Sunday Morning: How did you choose your Fark username?
Smart: Remnants of Santa's Fark name was inspired by dog barf
Funny: Tyrosine played favorites with the kids

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
AliceBToklasLives reacted to news that the investigation into the Trump Organization is "no longer purely civil in nature"
grokca envisioned a very strange Republican primary
HighOnCraic wanted to know how the news about Rick Santorum losing his job got out
moos wondered what it meant for the U.S and the Czech Republic being the only nations on Russia's list of "unfriendly countries"
fragMasterFlash was confused about a plane flying a banner reading "tick tock Matt Gaetz"

Politics Smart:
psilocyberguy had some suggestions for decreasing college tuition costs
MattytheMouse pointed out an example of white privilege
wejash argued that the January 6 insurrectionists were not brainwashed
toraque predicted what will happen when power shifts back to the Republicans
shut_it_down addressed Marjorie Taylor Greene's concern about Ashli Babbitt's family getting justice for Babbitt's death


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Kick The Chair made use of a versatile meme
RedZoneTuba gave us the gift of a gilded bust
Kick The Chair added Raspooty-poot to a photo of his besties
Herb Utsmelz would stop at nothing to get better TV reception
samsquatch had a foolproof plan to infiltrate the flock
Yammering_Splat_Vector found the loneliest wolf
Wrongo made the twins from "The Shining" creepier
Wrongo made use of a versatile meme
katod had a special gift to give you
bugdozer kept this coin safe from contamination

Captions:
From
Caption this warning sign:
KC Dutchman could tell that this is actually an illustration for a song
OtherLittleGuy had a warning for Macbeth
From Caption this impending moment of nature:
lindalouwho had one ominous word
Kick The Chair accidentally performed a ritual

Fartist Friday: I Draw a Turtle
nanim showed that it's Tippy at the top

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: For National Creativity Day our theme is Show & Tell vol. 8: F'Artisting Outside The Box. SHOW us an art creation you've made that's outside your usual comfort zone, or create one especially for this, and TELL us about it. For example: Photographers, show us your paintings. Painters, show us your poems. Be sure to TELL us about it too - your inspiration, process, etc.


Farktography: Look up. Look WAAAAYYYY up
This contest ended in a winning foursome with tfarmer001, RagnarD, kittyhas1000legs and Earguy.


Fark Parties

Friday, July 9, 2021: Buffalo, NY Fark Party (with all public health guidance carefully followed)


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

The Fark Weird News Quiz is running a little late because it was stuck in Alabama with no electricity, but it'll be posted today (Wednesday). Keep an eye out for it.
· · ·


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