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Fark NotNewsletter: Your time machine to last week
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-10-06 2:41:45 PM (36 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine, and Trevor.  Assuming everything isn't hacked by then. In fact, if you've been considering getting hacked, this is the week for it - the news cycle is completely overloaded with hacks. We'll cover a few of them, including a huge one that got completely lost in the news cycle.  Plus - mandatory vasectomies in Pennsylvania, boobs on I75, and humping skeletons.  As an added bonus, who wants to trade a Soviet space shuttle for a 19th century warlord skull?  Some guy in Kazakhstan.  Very Nice.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Rev.K carefully considered the wisdom of introducing brick to ballsack
thatguyoverthere70 examined Hitler's legacy
Rev.K was going to need some ultra-strength sunscreen
Spectrum corrected aleister_greynight's statement about Netflix ruining the aspect ratio of "Seinfeld" episodes
nivekfalk suggested a compromise on demands to rename a telescope that's named for a NASA administrator who discriminated against gays and lesbians
Remnants of Santa explained why having to shop for one's own groceries isn't an issue right now
khitsicker shared a video of a 20-year-old man who unfortunately died of COVID-19
sforce commented on an article about a Farker's wife's "habitual drunken driver" ex-husband who has to pay $12.5 million after losing a civil case
kbronsito noted the irony when a subway rider angrily ripped down ads that offended her
Demetrius helpfully captioned an image from a video of a truck that sped across eight lanes of traffic without hitting anyone

Smart:
AtlanticCoast63 explained the story behind a headline about a judgement against the wife's former husband
Purple_Urkle described the phenomenon of people denying COVID up until the moment they die of COVID
foo monkey shared a good idea for Uber and Lyft drivers in a country where people can't afford ambulance rides
no1curr actually does curr about some people whose boss made them do the right thing
Hey Nurse! talked about using medical marijuana
2fardownthread shared a lesson symbolized by a handkerchief in a baggie pinned to a tree

CSB Sunday Morning: "Hold my beer, I wanna try something" moments
Smart & Funny: Winterlight watched as a group of neighbors set out to cut down a couple of trees

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Badmoodman figured that legendary political cartoonist Ben Garrison would be just fine after getting sick with COVID-19
Ghastly made it much easier to understand the information being shared in a forum post
Cake Hunter acted as Sub Human's legal counsel
Hey Nurse! knew why President Biden didn't flinch when he got his booster shot in front of reporters
Badmoodman explained a political ad featuring a trash-talking New Yorker with a thick accent

Politics Smart:
HugeMistake let us know what kind of "LBJ stuff" Biden might be fixing to do
Chariset had a theory about why COVID-19 is such a strongly political issue in the U.S.
Fingerware Error pointed out one of the problems with the Texas attorney general's statement that the state's abortion restriction stimulates interstate commerce
mrshowrules worked out how devastating it was for Legacy Health to put 794 unvaccinated workers on leave
Martian_Astronomer had a colorful way of explaining the reason for vaccine mandates


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Stantz designed a trillion-dollar coin to be used for Evil
artifishy had money put away for a day when the bloody weather is bad
Yammering_Splat_Vector surprised the former secretary of the treasury with new currency
Yammering_Splat_Vector did the thing with the Kent State shooting photo
RedZoneTuba found the Grim Reaper in disguise
RedZoneTuba turned the lamp all the way up
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that this princess knew how to party
TrollingForColumbine found a warmer hat for snowy South Park
RedZoneTuba decided to torture a pensioner
clovercat has apparently been buying cat food that's rich in minerals

Fartist Friday: Write a poem paying homage to Autumn
EdgeRunner issued a warning to people who give out raisins to trick-or-treaters

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Curiouser and curiouser, we're celebrating "Curious Events Day" by creating art that "explains" unexplainable events. Crop circles. Loch Ness Monster sightings. Mothman vs Godzilla. Explain for us these or other Unexplainable Curious Events. All art mediums allowed. All art must be original & created new for this contest.

Farktography: Bugged Out 2
This one ended in a tie with Clockwork Kumquat's tiny dragon and Lovesandwich's squatting butterfly


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

In the weeks since a Michigan doctor wrote about 8 combative COVID patients, 6 of them have died. Hope he has a good alibi

Nine hurt when escalator malfunctions at Boston train station. Authorities say they're taking steps to ensure it never happens again, but they keep reappearing

President Biden gets shot live on TV

Guil-pee

So much for alcohol being a disinfectant

New Merck drug "Molnupiravir" may cut Covid hospitalizations and death in half, can only be wielded by Thor

Dolphins' loss to Raiders included a play so bad, even Bears head coach Matt Nagy hadn't thought of it

NBC decides it's not done done with "Law & Order"

As the poison filled his veins, Gov Kemp (R-GA) turned to the Donald and said, "Why did you do that? Why did you rip me and speak nicely of my Democratic opponent?" "I couldn't help it," said the Donald. "It's my nature"

Did Tennessee Earn eFord?

Saying "this is not 1973," economist rules out "stagflation" and persistent price pressures, but would not comment on the "WIN" button on his lapel

Mother and son caught cavorting on local beach, exclusive photos from Fox News

Today is National Corned Beef Hash Day, so let's all compare the pros and cons of beef-based MD5 versus SHA-256

Why alcohol is used to preserve things. Point: have you seen Keith Richards? Counterpoint: have you seen Keith Richards


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where I learned to not use so many cloves in a 36-hour brine of roast beef, On the Quiz itself, Xanadone takes the top spot with 1018 and a key to the 1000 club, followed by Denjiro in second with 986 and WoolyManwich and bterrien tied for third with 922. SoundOfOneHandWanking makes fourth 5 with 921, and No Catchy Nickname finishes out the top five with 919. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the creepy clowns seen hanging out around elementary schools in Singapore. Only 33% of quiztakers knew that they were there as a marketing stunt to encourage kids to sign up for foreign language classes. Which, I guess kinda works, in that it makes the kids realize they should have the ability to flee to another country if creepy clowns take over their own, and speaking a foreign language could help them tremendously with this.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Paul Rusesabagina and his recent conviction on terrorism charges. 85% of quiztakers knew that his story of housing Hutu and Tutsi rebels during the Rwandan genocide was dramatized by actor Don Cheadle in the movie "Hotel Rwanda". His conviction stems from his association with a rebel group that claimed responsibility for 2018 terror attacks. Meanwhile, Don Cheadle has still not accepted responsibility for agreeing to be in "Swordfish". 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about new mom Claire Elis Boucher and her child that calls her "Claire" instead of "Mom". Only 45% recognized the name as the birth name of artist Grimes. I mean, in a way I guess it's kind of fair, since his parents can't even agree on how his own name is pronounced. I'm sure little X Æ A-XII is going to grow up to be a perfectly well-adjusted child and have no problems getting teased in school. Although he will definitely have the coolest toys, though, which might make up for it.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about classic TV. 91% of quiztakers knew that before "Little House on the Prairie'', Michael Landon was a very successful actor on the series "Bonanza", where he portrayed Little Joe Cartwright in all 430 episodes of the show from 1959 until it ended in 1973. He and Lorne Greene, who played Little Joe's father Ben, were the only actors to appear in every episode. Hard to believe with all that western-style acting that he was born in Queens and grew up in New Jersey, but he did a great job with the accents all through his career.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: An absolutely banner week for weirdness
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-29 1:03:05 PM (34 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Thanks to everyone on TotalFark who participated in our very vulgar discussion last week, as well as to the quite sizeable number of long timers who returned to join the conversation.  More on all that soon.

Thursday 3 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine, and Trevor.  This has been an absolutely banner week for weirdness.  The entire show is going to be as if someone had an AI generate Mad Libs and then randomized the results.  We've got hallucinating fish, dancing dogs, Florida Man vs Alligator, butt jokes, you name it.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
zedster wanted somebody to please think of the children
GardenWeasel captioned a costume model
brap discussed Phil Collins' declining health during the Genesis farewell tour
dammit just give me a login had questions about optikeye's instinct about Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson
Richard Freckle gained something from a video of a couple of amorous gorillas
Mantour disagreed with a woman's characterization of her new haircut
baorao asked a question about primate behavior
Mugato was worried for Phil Collins' safety
EnzoTheCoder figured out what was happening in a weird bra ad
MrBallou noticed something about a train that nearly hit a woman who stupidly ran across the tracks

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
A thread in which Farkers shared their choices for the funniest scenes in the history of cinema

Smart:
dumbobruni made a point about talking to the police without a lawyer
Miss5280 wondered if a bar owner was double dipping
Ivo Shandor suggested a particular type of entry fee for Floridians who want to win the right to catch a goliath grouper
optikeye had a pet peave
Spectrum clarified the significant ongoing issues with a lack of morgue capacity that Alberta Health Services was not having
syrynxx was unimpressed by how a Christian neurosurgeon described an atom in his "proof" that God exists
vatica40 gave advice about what to do if you receive a counteroffer from a potential employer

CSB Sunday Morning: The best bowl of soup you ever had
Smart: GRCooper and friend enjoyed homemade schnapps, goulash and family
Funny: phenn learned the soup song

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
diIdo tontine warned about how dangerous it is to attend a COVID party
fragMasterFlash showed us what anti-vaxxers will use next to prevent and cure COVID-19
gopher321 described a group of Trump supporters
Garza and the Supermutants might've spotted some narcs
Sorelian's Ghost explained why Rachel Hamm thought God told her to run for secretary of state for California

Politics Smart:
MrBallou told us about an ER doctor who had had enough
revrendjim explained why Republicans keep wanting to audit the 2020 election results
Martian_Astronomer discussed the morality of feeling schadenfreude at the illness and death of COVID denialists
Skyking Skyking Do Not Answer talked about being part of a class-action lawsuit
Serious Black looked at Americans' opinions on how the war in Afghanistan was handled


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed a new Tennessee license plate to better represent the state's modern values
markie_farkie figured "The Volunteer State" is an outdated nickname for Tennessee
artifishy demonstrated Super Advanced CrossFit Plus
RedZoneTuba showed us the work of a criminally-underfunded government agency
RedZoneTuba invited us to stay in Tennessee
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a charismatic dance partner
RedZoneTuba smashed the pumpkin
Nick Nostril went one step above emojis for the Tennessee license plate
dlarsen222 showed that Tennessee has taken on a different shape
Driedsponge had a complaint

Fartist Friday: Apple art
kabloink made art with Fark's favorite rodent and the forbidden fruit

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To commemorate "National Poetry Day" and the beginning of Fall we'll create odes to my favorite season. Write a poem in any style that pays homage to Autumn - the cooling weather, the peeping of leaves, the pumpkin spice trees in bloom.

Farktography: Fall
Galileo's Daughter captured a breathtaking autumn scene


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

If you live in Seattle, you just might have a headstone in your back yard singing "Just a Gigolo"

Hurricanes Pete, Rose gambling over the Atlantic, betting on making landfall

Man who filmed Rodney King beating dies because he avoided getting shot

Man couldn't tell if he was coming or going for two years

¡Ay Harambe! (definitely NSFW)

Ring around the Rosie / a necklace full of Daddy / ashes, ashes / four touchdowns

Elvira comes out of the coffin

"Dutch boy gets court permission for vaccine amid parents' disagreement." Son-of-a--- They're sneaking it into our PAINT now?

Biden wins Arizona yet again, gets a free sub on his next visit

Every node of this supply chain is maxed out. This is why we literally can't have nice things

🥒 🥒 🥒 🍑 🍑 🍑 . 100% sfw

US unveils plan to address 'silent killer.' Here, pull my finger

Much like those who lurk in the Politics tab, this tiny beetle mite has survived for a very long time without having any sex


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and I, for one, welcome our new luggage overlords. The 1000 club remains empty this week, which is good because we're currently installing the anti-robot security measures. On the Quiz itself, rcw00 came out on top with 956, followed by Joelogon in second with 926 and Saab Story in third with  922. baka-san made fourth with 921, and Myk-House of El snuck into the top five with 918.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what you shouldn't strap your iPhone to in order to prevent damage. Only 34% of quiztakers caught the notice from Apple about the constant vibrations of motorcycles affecting the image stabilization feature. Also, if you're recording your hot political take TikToks while riding your motorcycle, maybe don't do that on any cell phone. Or at all. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what Massachusetts governor Charlie Baker has a bunch of National Guard personnel doing. 91% of quiztakers knew it was driving school "buses" (they're actually conversion vans without air brakes, meaning the licensing requirements are less stringent). I'm not sure what a Guardsman would have had to have done to upset their CO enough to get assigned this duty, but I'm sure the officers are grateful to have something to threaten the malcontents with. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the upcoming Sony TV series starring Anthony Mackie as John Doe. Only 51% of quiztakers recognized the PlayStation series of futuristic car battle games featuring the psychotic clown Needles Kane on the cover as Twisted Metal. FWIW, "Sweet Tooth" is actually the name of Kane's ice cream truck. I'm kinda looking forward to this, as the story in the later games featuring John Doe could make for some good action/adventure. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which Danny Devito/Arnold Schwarzenegger movie is getting a sequel. 93% of quiztakers knew that Tracy Morgan has signed on to be their long-lost triplet brother in a follow-up to 1988's "Twins". Let's hope the dialogue and comedy make up for the reaaaaaly-stretching-it plot and the fact that this is about 30 years too late for relevance.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: It's autumn, do you know where your pumpkin spice is?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-22 3:00:33 PM (35 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone hope your week's been well.

Last week I promised a very special very vulgar TotalFark Discussion - life interfered and I wasn't able to get around to it until today, so come check it out.

You can still join TotalFark and witness history being made. Today's the day if you've been on the fence about it.

Thursday at 3 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine, and Trevor.  Trevor had to skip last week due to travel, but he's emerged somewhere in the eastern hemisphere.  This has been a very heavy week for the weird news cycle, but I'm pretty sure we'll be talking about the Petito saga, the latest dumbass things we've learned in the Murdaugh case, and a failed attempt to raise awareness by sending clowns to hang out near elementary schools. And much, much more.  Other possible topics are Mike Tyson tried to fight a Gorilla, did Steve from Blues Clues see combat in Afghanistan, McDonalds phasing out plastic toys for cardboard Ron Jeremy Minion replicas, and Shark Jesus.  Like I said, busy week
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
TaDu explained why autocorrect seems to sneak in the most embarrassing words
markie_farkie did not appreciate the advice to immediately install a security update
Notabunny comforted us when an anti-vaxxer clown died from COVID-19
I-K-Rumba was surprised by a video of a woman supposedly beating up her sister for supposedly sleeping with her husband
Representative of the unwashed masses pointed out something about a video of a man brutally attacking a woman on an escalator
Combustion seemed to think some guy's problems don't seem all that bad
Pinnacle Point smelled a business opportunity
rickythepenguin shared a funny short story about Norm Macdonald
TommyDeuce commented on a story about a woman who shot and killed a man who was outside her bedroom window at night
SBinRR found one aspect of a woman sleeping with her sister's husband to be the most surprising

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
2fardownthread discussed the development of vaccines that are administered through a nasal spray rather than an injection

Smart:
FormlessOne considered the 12-year sentence someone got for making and using counterfeit coupons to steal from stores
Bovine Diarrhea Virus shared some weird, simple tricks to keep from getting COVID-19
Walker shared something that many people don't know about movies that were released on Disney+ and in theaters on the same day
rickythepenguin shared a funny short story about Norm Macdonald
Badmoodman explained what a man who doesn't want his wife to get vaccinated is really afraid of
FleshFlapps wanted to encourage us to get vaccinated and also get us started on existential crises
God-is-a-Taco discussed the annual commemoration of 9/11

CSB Sunday Morning: Those most cherished family or childhood mementos and heirlooms
Smart: Madison_Smiled shared with us the sweet story of the Detweilers
Funny: proco took us to a rock concert

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Uchiha_Cycliste explained the genius behind liberals' plan to trick Trump voters into not getting vaccinated
Xcott considered the reasons someone gave for resigning from the Army
Mr. Coffee Nerves expected to see the true anti-vaxxer American patriot
Nadie_AZ summed up what's been happening to right-wing radio show hosts who have fallen for COVID-19 lies from Fox News
Martian_Astronomer wanted to see what else some people will do because it's the opposite of what liberals say to do

Politics Smart:
Psychopompous thought that we pay more attention to some elections than we used to
Sanguine Dawn discussed the two main choices in the California recall election
Benevolent Misanthrope figured that a previous decision by the judge overseeing Kyle Rittenhouse's prosecution reveals a pattern
Nuuu analyzed General William Tecumseh Sherman's strategy in the Civil War
allears had an idea to help states that want to criminalize abortion


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba corrected the contest submitter's moostake
dlarsen222, however, saw no problems with the headline
Herb Utsmelz forgot to show the cereal
RedZoneTuba served the breakfast of a famous player
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us a surprising background actor in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
Driedsponge turned a tick head into haute couture
RedZoneTuba made a diagram of somebunny's womb
Yammering_Splat_Vector found pretend friends for this pretend moose
clovercat got some bubbles in the transporter
Wrongo came up with the perfect way to start the day

Captions:
From
Caption this despaired soccer player:
hugram recognized the outfit
Albert911emt got into a sticky situation

Fartist Friday: Tattoos and the inspiration behind them
This Fartist Friday contest ended in a tie between kabloink's victorious Excatlibur and Driedsponge's mechanical interior

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: For Johnny Appleseed Day we'll create art featuring an Apple - any kind. The delicious fruit, the company logo, the musician, etc. Honeycrisps, Tim Apple, Fiona Apple, you get the drift. Any art medium allowed.

Farktography: Flair for Flare
spidermann branched out for this Farktography contest


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Every time a TFD thread goes red I feel sad, because, just for a few seconds, there had existed the possibility that it actually could have gone green and ruined everyone's day

Vladimir Putin in isolation after possible COVID-19 exposure, which means we may soon be seeing Putin on the fritz

You know what sucks? Cancer. You know what else sucks? You guessed it: Frank Stallone

Pawtucket man hospitalized after being stabbed in Woonsocket. For those not knowledgeable of human anatomy, the Woonsocket is where the Woon goes

Virginia man arrested for 28-44 robberies

His name was Roberto

Six thousand Raiders fans stabbed in a single day

Marcus Aurelius: "Consider the shortness of life, the boundless abyss of time past and future, the feebleness of all matter." The AV Club: "Guess I'd better sit down and qualitatively rank all of Weezer's 200+ songs"

Red-state anti-vaxxers graciously giving up their hospital beds to non-COVID patients

Newly discovered fossilized worm genus named after Arrakis due to its massive size and aversion to rhythmic footsteps. Blessed be the Maker, may He cleanse us in his passing because we could really use some of that about now


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and we have a guest for the 1000 club! Unfortunately, the ice cream machine is down and so all we have for refreshments is the leftover Wasabi Oreos, But congratulations anyway to Buzzerguy, whose score of 1011 makes him this week's winner. ThunderChild came in second with 951, jayfurr in third with 935, Megateuthis in fourth with 934, and coscausticevil rounds out this week's top 5 with 933.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was actually about "The Muppet Show". Only 31% of quiztakers caught the article about Jim Henson's home in London, England getting a historical marker showing he lived there while filming the show. After Henson made two pilots for CBS that were both rejected, the show was picked up by British producer and vaudevillian Lew Grade, who had a reputation for producing shows in England that were geared for resale to the American market. It turned out to be a great match, and "The Muppet Show" filmed at Elstree Studios in London for its entire run.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was also about England. 89% of quiztakers knew that it was the luxury department store Harrod's that would be ditching the green-and-gold plastic bags it had used for the last 50 years in favor of more sustainable paper bags. For the 3% who went with Grace Brothers, this was the name of the department store from the British sitcom (and brilliant parody of Britain's social rankings) "Are You Being Served", which aired from 1973 to 1985, and for the other 8%, Costington's is the ultra-rich store in downtown Springfield as seen on "The Simpsons" (slogan: "Over A Century Without A Slogan").

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Simu Liu and his newfound fame. Only 61% of quiztakers recognized him as the star of the #1 movie in the United States, "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings". You'll probably want to remember his name, though, as the reviews are great and he'll likely be on screen for a while both in and out of the Marvel Universe.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Farrakh Bulsara, a guy born in Zanzibar 75 years ago. 94% of quiztakers knew that he grew up to be one of the most renowned vocalists and performers of all time - after changing his name to Freddy Mercury. Prince was one of those musicians who actually went by their real name - he was born Prince Rogers Nelson. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Oh, the vulgarity!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-15 12:07:17 PM (22 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Thursday at 3 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine, and Trevor.  I'd love to blurb what we're going to talk about but it's been one of those weeks where I have 30 possible stories already.  But I can promise we'll try to explain what the hell is going on down in South Carolina with the never-ending saga of That's So Murdaugh.

Also for TotalFarkers - gonna have another thread tomorrow on that upcoming feature we're getting ready to launch.  It's ready to roll, it's all down to the details now.  Stay tuned.  And if you don't already have it, there's still time to sign up for TotalFark and weigh in on literally the most vulgar feature we've ever launched!

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Tchernobog agreed that Karma Chameleon had indeed been owned
The Googles Do Nothing responded to the assertion that the coronavirus pandemic will lead to the end of using fax machines
Madman drummers bummers defended the logic of pepper-spraying an anti-masker who intentionally coughs on you
gopher321 responded to AP Planner's tweet saying their previous tweet about a Nickelback anniversary on 9/11 was in poor taste and had been deleted
jbc was feeling sour about North Carolina banning "Carolina Squat" truck modification
TorpedoOrca explained why you shouldn't even bother microchipping your cats and dogs
Rigby-Reardon expressed an aversion to the Bavarian sport of Steinholding
LordBeavis had a theory about a woman who was scammed into shaving her head on video
vudukungfu gave helpful advice to a Farker who has a creepy neighbor
nekom had a high-tech solution for someone whose neighbor pointed a camera at her window

Smart:
Barfmaker discussed a Dragon Con attendee's decision to take a train home after testing positive for COVID-19
blender61 explained why "voices" never tell people to do nice things
Benevolent Misanthrope told us about having religion cause problems in a relationship
blastoh knew exactly what you should do if a neighbor aims a video camera at your window
optikeye looked at how an anti-gay speech from a senior apostle with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to BYU employees could affect students
cherryl taggart knew about creepy neighbors from experience
zbtop predicted ongoing consequences for a woman who intentionally coughed on other grocery shoppers

CSB Sunday Morning: That time you saved the day
Smart: GratefullyAlive provided the kind of service you normally don't expect at a TGI Fridays
Funny: Recoil Therapy saved the day by doing nothing

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
JerseyTim knew exactly how to boycott Texas
The Googles Do Nothing advised a Farker whose submission about F-22 pilots supposedly walking off the job in protest was redlit
optikeye didn't want to be petty about Madison Cawthorn's desire to "gut" an agency that enforces workplace safety standards
This Is Bold Text let us know what the Confederacy and Nirvana have in common
HallsOfMandos had questions about a sign in a gun shop advertising "x-treme taxidermy

Politics Smart:
OldRod made a point about members of the military supposedly walking out over the vaccine mandate
RowdyPants supported other states' attempts to lure businesses out of Texas
hugadarn had questions about credit reporting and scoring agencies
hobnail took a guess at why the Federal government waited until now to start mandating COVID-19 vaccinations
Cafe Threads shared a story about one of the American businesses that's desperately looking to hire more people


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba designed a torture device
west.la.lawyer showed us a toy that Fisher Price sells in the Twilight Zone
RedZoneTuba gave us a reason to play with our food
Driedsponge had the cure for what ails you
Yammering_Splat_Vector revealed Barney Fife's shocking secret
RedZoneTuba showed that SpaceX's Dragon spacecraft has advanced safety features
Cork on Fork found that the dough needed to cook longer
noazark figured out this mild-mannered reporter
RedZoneTuba showed us an alien hamming it up in the background
RedZoneTuba looked in on what turned out to be a very wise cat

Captions:
From
Caption this emperor marmoset:
luna1580 was visibly affected by recent events
Wobambo wasn't feeling all that flexible

From Caption the pope while people are taking a picture of him:
Markus5 finally got an answer to that question
RedZoneTuba made an unorthodox threat

Fartist Friday: Star Trek limericks
thatguyoverthere70 had many enterprising ideas

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of National Tattoo Story Day, share pictures and stories of your tattoos, or show us your own drawing you've made yourself of one you'd like to get and tell us about it. Tell us whatever you'd like to share about the inspiration behind your tattooed art. 

Farktography: Off Center
This one ended in a three-way with Lovesandwich's chilled bun, beerrun's hungry hummer and MorningBreath's winged wader


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week
Showing grace under pressure, against permanent waves, they follow the vapor trails to hold your fire, and stop the gulf spills
Were you going to NW Washington Fair? Covid cases, almost one hundred nine
Yesterday was National be Late for Something Day
Cops taser man in Paisley, Must have been the fashion police
What do we know about the new C.1.2 coronavirus variant from South Africa? Apparently, every country is going to see one too
Trey Mancini of the Orioles sits out for "General Soreness." No word on if that's an upgrade from Major Pain or if he will face Corporal Punishment from Captain Obvious. I suppose that's a Private Matter
Looks like the "Free Britney" movement finally got what it wanted. Next goal is a discount Christina
Fox is trying to bring back "24" again because the network is RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS
NSFW, dude
Conditions at Riker's Island are so bad that Dr. Crusher is asking for Federation help
He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he took a soda from your fridge, and watched you masturbate
Honey Baked Ham to sell Pumpkin Spice Glazed Turkey Breast for a mercifully limited time
People who take 7,000 steps a day -- not even 10,000 -- have a 50% to 70% lower risk of dying. The Proclaimers are going to be immortal


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although I still have no rhubarb. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 970, followed by Joelogon in second with 936 and Cndn Bacon in third with 912. edmo made fourth with 885, and Go'zirra sneaks into the top five with 856.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about traditional Chinese oyster sauce, Only 9% of quiztakers knew that this one of the rare occasions where a food is exactly as advertised - oyster sauce really is made from oysters. It also has a healthy amount of MSG, meaning the one thing it doesn't have is soy sauce. Which leads me to a question I've long looked for an answer to - just how hungry was the first guy to ever eat an oyster?

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the Taylor model 6CO2 at the heart of an antitrust action brought by the US Justice Department. 89% of quiztakers knew that this was the infamous McDonald's Soft Serve Ice Cream machine, a device so unreliable that someone actually created an app to see which McDonald's in your area has a working one. The case hinges on the "right to repair," which could result in common problems with the machines being repairable by the staff at the locations rather than having to call someone from Taylor for an onsite visit. Still not sure if this is a good thing.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which video game maker released "Halo 2" themed condoms. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that the Halo franchise is the flagship game of Microsoft's X-Box line of gaming consoles. (insert your own joke about filthy console peasants not needing condoms right here). 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about The late Ed Asner, and where he got his first two Emmys. 93% of quiztakers knew that his "Lou Grant" character that netted him five Emmys in total actually began on "The Mary Tyler Moore" show. My favorite role of his still has to be Carl in "Up!", especially the simple and gruff "No" when Russell, petrified on the porch, asks if he can come inside. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the right answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Guess what's back! Actually, don't guess, just read
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-09 11:46:53 AM (28 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

By popular demand, Fark Headline of the Week is back!  We hadn't been featuring this lately because sometimes I'd get too busy to run HotW on Mondays, but lately I've concentrated on making it part of my weekly routine.

Although Headline of the Week is pretty much just my personal selection, I take your votes for Fark links very seriously when deciding which to choose.  So if you have been wondering if your link votes matter, they do - a lot!  I'll qualify the occasional link that slips through the cracks just because I think it's funny, but I rely on your votes a lot - not just for Fark Headline of the Week, but for deciding which News Flash taglines to pick.  This is why sometimes a news flash won't hit main Fark for awhile, I'm waiting for the right tagline to be submitted.

And if you're not familiar with the link voting feature - turns out, it's one of the many features that you get as a TotalFark subscriber!  So sign on up and help influence the winners list. Headline of the Year voting begins in early December, so it's not too late to help out.

At 3 p.m. today it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine and Trevor. According to the news cycle, it's 9/11 week - I managed to find the few decently interesting but mostly obscure stories around the 20th anniversary.  And of course we'll have the usual roundup of things that slipped through the cracks and my favorite weirdness of the week.  Join us!  
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Three Crooked Squirrels submitted proof of being capable of withstanding a hurricane
Nadie_AZ forwarded a message from a wind turbine blade to the train that smashed into it
Xcott knew the story behind a train's collision with a wind turbine blade
Martian_Astronomer explained what happened to an antivaxxer who died from smallpox in 1903
shoegaze99 was excited to get some Texas barbecue advice
markie_farkie spotted a familiar sight in coverage of Hurricane Ida
BumpInTheNight made a dad joke
beezeltown knew who else might misspell "Moderna" on a fake vaccination card
mofa preferred the doggy paddle
Straight Outta Wells Branch explained why Southern accents are often mocked

Smart:
UberDave did the research and came up with a solid plan
The Official Fark Cajun had to fight in court to do the right thing as a parent
Cyberluddite wondered how it would feel to have made different decisions
cretinbob thought that current medical terminology might not be getting the point across accurately
1funguy told us about someone who can watch a thousand people walk into a glass door but won't believe it's there until she smashes into it herself
theteacher had a theory on why Remington subpoenaed report cards, attendance records and disciplinary records of kids killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting
AirForceVet compared experiences with someone who works in a COVID ward
OtherLittleGuy added more context to Circusdog320's story about people walking out of church when asked to wear masks
Hey Nurse! shared what it was like having to take care of a COVID denier

Politics Funny:
PlaidJaguar alerted the authorities after witnessing a crime
weddingsinger thought that Joe Rogan seemed fine after getting COVID-19
Pinnacle Point figured out the kind of guy who would report a woman he impregnated and collect the Texas $10k abortion bounty
Shostie explained what a couple of idiots were trying to practice at a shooting range
diIdo tontine had a slightly different interpretation of what these gun heroes were doing

Politics Smart:
GoodCopBadCop pointed out that in addition to punishing people who become pregnant, Texas also might be punishing those who had sex with them as well
Redh8t founded a new church
Murkanen described Chief Justice John Roberts' judicial philosophy
Psychopusher summed up life in the state of Texas
NeoCortex42 discussed Kevin McCarthy's threat against companies that comply with records requests from the Select Committee investigating the January 6th insurrection


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound noticed an overlooked detail in a Hitchcock film
Cork on Fork turned a face to the sea
noazark showed us how to get to Sesame Street in style
RedZoneTuba finally found out what this girl was really running from
clovercat showed this guy getting busted
RedZoneTuba found that cow discos are actually pretty inclusive
rnatalie restored this painting to its original glory
RedZoneTuba made Mitch McConnell look less like a turtle
Yammering_Splat_Vector's pup exposed this derriere-ship
Yammering_Splat_Vector created a real seahorse

Captions:
From
Caption these youngsters:
BizarreMan detected a classic form of sibling torment
Subtonic's stomach was growling
steklo needed a referee
RedZoneTuba threatened to bring Mom's power to bear

Fartist Friday: Art featuring wildlife
ScrimBoy shared a shot from the bee roll

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: On September 8, 1966, "Star Trek" debuted its pilot episode. In honor of Star Trek Day, write a limerick about your favorite Star Trek character or episode, for any of its series.

Farktography: Warm It Up
MorningBreath captured the early pelican that gets the worm


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

ippississiM
Nick Knaack, anti-vax, gave his girl the 'rone. This old man came wheezin' home
Too drunk to drive, but just drunk enough to manage the Mets
Why the Royals will never trust Meghan Markle and Prince Harry again. Presumably because they stood them up in free agency and left for the Yankees
Never send to know for whom the pig trolls; it trolls for Ye
♬ No... one... flacks like Macron, no backtrack for Macron, vows to maintain French troops in Iraq when we're gone... ♬
Wherever you go, whatever you do, Richard Marx won't take bullshiat from you
I know a guy whose brain is toast / He'll roll the coal / And loudly boast / "I don't know grammar," / And he'll freely sneeze / He won't use facemasks / Or take vaccines / But now he uses unleaded gasoline / Unleaded gasoline / Unleaded gasolines
Wild cockatoos make their own cutlery sets. Not to be outdone, macaws are now into fondue
Today is National Chianti Day, so pick up some fava beans and size up your neighbors
Scottish reservoir levels hit an 18-year low and somehow they STILL can't find that silly lizard


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although the 1000 club remains empty. Which is cool, because I'm screening in the back deck. On the Quiz itself, Joelogon came out on top with 934, followed by Two Dogs Farking with 896 and Denjiro with 892. TheCheese gets into the NNL with 882, and so do farkyorefeelings with 871 and Cndn Bacon with 862.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the USSR's Lunokhod program. Only 24% of quiztakers remembered that the Rooskies actually sent two remote-controlled rovers to drive around on the moon all the way back in the early 1970s. This was actually mankind's only remote-controlled rover mission on a celestial body prior to the Mars Pathfinder in 1997. We silly Americans sent our own rover to the moon but couldn't work out the kinks in the remote control system so we also had to send astronauts to drive it around manually in that same time period.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was a food question. 79% of quiztakers knew that "Caprese salad" was a basil leaf, a slice of tomato, and a piece of fresh mozzarella. I think the other 21% of people probably have been to Atlanta, since I don't know of a single restaurant that calls it "Caprese salad" - all the ones I worked at or ate at that served the dish elected to call it "fresh mozzarella" as if the basil and tomato were unimportant. I'm thinking Georgia people were getting confused when there wasn't any lettuce or ranch dressing on their high-falutin "salad".

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about a new HBO series based on a DC comic with a widely panned movie adaptation. Only 45% of quiztakers recognized the names Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Jessica Cruz, and Simon Baz as members of the Green Lantern Corps. (Hal Jordan, the character played by Ryan Reynolds in the movie, is only one of many Green Lanterns) FWIW, I think the 55% of you can be forgiven for having turned off every Hollywood "Fantastic 4" movie ever made before even learning the characters' names (Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm). 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the album "Graceland," which was not an Elvis LP but an '80s rock album with Afro-Caribbean rhythms and lyrics inspired by a trip to South Africa during the Western boycott over apartheid. 94% recognized it as the work of Paul Simon, with three of the songs being inspired by his past relationship and marriage to actor and screenwriter Carrie Fisher. Interestingly, the "Betty" in "You Can Call Me Al" is actually his first wife Peggy Harper, from whom he was divorced in 1975 - eleven years, two serious relationships, and another marriage later, he still thought of her. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Ba-dee-ya, dancin' in September
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-01 1:14:03 PM (47 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Thanks to all the TotalFarkers who dropped in to comment on the new designs last week, I really appreciate your input.  Should have something more for you to look at next week, along with quite possibly the dumbest new feature we've ever announced.  Odds are it'll take longer than I think, but I just wanted to tease that. Sign up for TotalFark today to see what this is all about.

This week, the Fark News Livestream is on Thursday at 3 p.m. Eastern.  KCBlueGal will be back, along with Trevor who has survived the wilds of suburban Toronto for yet another week. Hopefully this week the audio will work, I'm still on a clip to fix one thing and break two more each episode.  It was a weird one this week, you won't be disappointed
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Prank Call of Cthulhu knew what made OnlyFans cancel the content policy change they had planned
blastoh had a bad side effect from the vaccine
farkingismybusiness explained why a fitness coach wasn't going to get vaccinated until experiencing COVID-19 changed his mind
Devolving_Spud was ready to help Pfizer market their COVID-19 vaccine
Stephen_Falken found out how trashy tabloid articles can revive your interest in serious world events
covfefe explained why a woman expressed relief that her car and house didn't hit each other as they floated by in floodwater
Biscuit Tin told us why a credit report wasn't necessary at the moment
hugram thought a cop who grabbed an unwilling woman and punched her husband had an appropriate name
Sin_City_Superhero let us know what kind of oil a woman got from her grandma to keep it healthy while she grew it out for 17 years
snowybunting asked a question about OnlyFans' change of heart

Smart:
EvilEgg pointed out the best part of this year's Minnesota Renaissance Festival
duppy told us what happened when an acquaintance who refused the vaccine came down with the virus
Sorelian's Ghost gave advice about farking with meese
shastacola had a different sort of compliment for Charlie Watts
Bslim described what a now-former cop did to receive a 25-year prison sentence for murder (One error, though: He was the third officer to show up and he grabbed his shotgun and ran to the house, did not return to the car for the gun)
runs with mutts had a theory that there was some irony in why someone was using signal jammers
SurelyShirley gave examples of how if you're well enough to go places where social distancing isn't possible, you can survive wearing a protective mask

Politics Funny:
dionysusaur had a dark prediction for a man who was on a ventilator after self-treating with ivermectin
optimistic_cynic didn't realize koinbahd was referring to the man in the video at the top of the thread
mrshowrules pointed out that Madison Cawthorn was not following proper procedure
ViolentEastCoastCity mailed a reply to a "petition to reject Biden-Harris"
mrshowrules put a MAGA rally sign in a different setting

Politics Smart:
ViolentEastCoastCity mailed a reply to a "petition to reject Biden-Harris"
EvilEgg came up with an appropriate-for-Fark analogy for people who refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19
wademh analyzed what Trumpers actually like about Donald Trump
ox45tallboy thought that some police officers' attitude about vaccine mandates is quite familiar
snowblur pointed out why it wasn't a bad idea for the officer who shot Ashli Babbitt to do an interview with Lester Holt


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Circusdog320 upgraded the attack crop duster
FarkingIceHole didn't change anything in this picture?
noazark made an iconic science fiction film even iconic-er
opalakea gave us a better twist than a smoke monster
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave us a peek at Jerry Seinfeld's new drama series
noazark got ready to play a dangerous game of dominoes
noazark erected a much more original statue
Yammering_Splat_Vector built some armor for this armor
retrophil didn't know what Charlie Sheen was talking about
dlarsen222 showed why we love Lucy

Captions:
From Caption this curmudgeonly crustacean
:
guestguy figured this is a crabby old crab
Harry Freakstorm shared this crustacean's heroic journey

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Volume 11
This one ended in a tie with two paintings: opalakea's sweet pug in repose and RedZoneTuba's swan in rippling pond

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week we're celebrating National Wildlife Day with newly-made art featuring wild critters. Take a photo, create a Photoshop, draw a drawing, etc. of creatures great and small. All entries must be created just for this contest.

Farktography: Back to School
peachpicker shared a very important first day


Beyond Fark

SweetBecca (by DisseminationMonkey)
We learned the sad news of the recent loss of Farker SweetBecca. She was best known on Fark as a beloved member of Fark's Caturday community. While she was less active on Fark over the past couple of years, she had grown close to the Caturday community and kept in touch with them. Our hearts go out to her friends and family. You can visit SweetBecca's memorial thread with her Caturday friends here.

DedParrot (by Blythe)
After 20 years of Farking (and 58 years on Earth) Farker DedParrot is now Beyond Fark.  As shared in his memorial thread "DedParrot passed far too early in June of 2021, a few weeks shy of his 58th birthday. Although he led a healthy lifestyle, he was struck down 20 feet from the ER door by a massive cardiac event. He was a fan of (among other things) comics, sci-fi, and of course Monty Python. He leaves behind four older siblings, a heartbroken wife, and 15-year old son. Ironically, his wife is named Joy."


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although the 1000 club remains empty once again. Pity, too because I've got fresh local strawberries going in the ice cream maker this evening. On the Quiz itself, Oliver Twisted came out on top with 998, followed by FacelessDevil30 in second with 945 and Xanadone in third with 925. partasti made fourth with 925, and Marcus Aurelius got in the top five with 917.

The hardest question on Last Week's Hard Quiz was about the newest Girl Scout Cookie. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that the upcoming thick crumbly chocolate with sea salt and caramel would be called "Advernturfuls." "Chalet Cremes," available from 1990-95, were lemon and vanilla cream-filled shortbread cookies embossed with the image of the Girl Scout World Center in Switzerland, and "Juliettes" were crunchy caramel and pecan cookies coated in chocolate that were available from 1993-96.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a vandal menacing the countryside village of Wonersh in Surrey in the UK. 89% of quiztakers knew that it was Heinz Baked Beans that came in a distinctive blue-labeled can. I don't get the marketing on that, as most all American brands put their baked beans in a brownish bean-colored can. If we see blue in our beans, we usually throw them away or feed them to the opossum at the edge of the woods. Maybe the reasoning is that Britain has no opossums to eat their blue baked beans.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which fast food joint thinks you don't have enough diabeetus and is now offering a "glazed donut," which is actually a clump of dough balls coated in icing made to tear apart for sharing. Only 41% knew that it was McDonald's that didn't think we were getting enough of our daily dose of sugar from its McCafe offerings, and is now pouring the sugar directly onto the fried carbohydrates. Then again, they could have brought back the Arch Deluxe instead, so perhaps we should count our blessings.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which actor had gotten his voice back through new technology from British start-up Sonatic. 84% of quiztakers knew that it was Val Kilmer who had tragically lost his very recognizable voice after a tracheotomy due to throat cancer back in 2014. I'm not sure if they'll be using this technology for his role in the upcoming "Top Gun: Maverick," but then again, it feels like this movie was completed back in 2012 so it might not have been necessary. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can give the Fark Weird News Quiz a shot now that you know a couple of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Mockups for some, miniature American flags for others
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-08-25 3:21:41 PM (34 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

First off, we've got some updated layout mocks for TotalFark subscribers to look at regarding last week's upcoming features discussion.  You can find those here.  It's still not too late to sign up for TotalFark to contribute to the discussion, I have very much appreciated everyone's input so far.  Current designs do need a slight tweak you could help us with - find out more in the comment discussion.

This Thursday at 4 p.m. ET, the Fark News Livestream is back, along with Trevor and a very special guest: KCBlueGal will be joining us as we run down the more interesting/weird stories of this week.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Marcus Aurelius made the point that you don't always have to complain when an article isn't brand new
Keyser_Soze_Death felt very welcoming
Psychopusher helped Right Said Fred update their lyrics
kbronsito don't know much virology
Marcos P has a creative way of reducing energy consumption
Keyser_Soze_Death figured that OnlyFans will be announcing another change soon
puffy999 was taken aback by methods used to investigate the big change at OnlyFans
greatgodyoshi knew hubiestubert was the one
kyleaugustus illustrated a popular sentiment about the "Jeopardy!" hosting job
Weatherkiss issued a dare
BigBurrito knew why one person with a PhD isn't anti-vaccine

Bonus FarkStaff Pick (link is TotalFark only):
The Pope of Manwich Village showed how TotalFark Discussion saves lives and relationships

Smart:
Devolving_Spud wanted to have gas
GreatGlavinsGhost was reminded of some before and after photos when OK So Amuse Me discussed what health care workers have been going through
Ker_Thwap shared what the pandemic experience has been like for a family member who works in a nursing home
Ms. Hushpuppy told us about finding out a teacher wasn't vaccinated
goodncold talked about allowing older kids to make their own health care decisions
Klivian had an idea of what the content on OnlyFans will be like before the new policy goes into effect
Lorelle shared how awful this latest wave of coronavirus infections has been for hospital workers
Hyjamon looked at just how farked up COVID-19 denial has gotten

Politics Funny:
DoBeDoBeDo just said "no" to a plane loaded with people fleeing Afghanistan
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed up for an article that compared a song written by a Capitol insurrection suspect to Bo Burnham's "White Woman's Instagram"
foo monkey worked out that the COVID-19 numbers reported by Florida to the CDC were accurate
EdwardTellerhands predicted what President Joe Biden would do during his remarks on the situation in Afghanistan
Ivo Shandor defended Donald Trump's arrangement for the release of Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar

Politics Smart:
baronbloodbath figured there's a reason one country isn't worried about getting their officials out of Kabul
cretinbob thought there could be reasons a server was working while sick, and potierrh illustrated how those conversations so often go
yohohogreengiant argued that Rashida Tlaib's characterization of the Taliban's history was correct
SomeAmerican believed that we've done this before and we oughtn't do it again
Natalie Portmanteau looked at the amount of money Governor Greg Abbott is paying for two miles of border wall


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
noazark dreamed of Star Trek
noazark found that Ben Cartwright took some fashion risks as he entered his golden years
Cork on Fork installed a button for a royal flush
MathProf showed us George Takei's disembodied head before it got to Futurama's Head Museum
Wrongo let the lobster lob the lobber
noazark revealed what the Great Sphinx of Giza looked like before it aged
Yammering_Splat_Vector demonstrated how early 747s could take off without the need for a runway
PhotoshopCrazy made a snake Mercedes even snake-ier
skinink pitched an idea for the next season of "Survivor"
Cork on Fork found out why this lighthouse wasn't lit

Fartist Friday: Food Art
educated was quite thorough in creating a very good dog (be sure to read the description)

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 11: Show us a favorite work of art you've made & Tell us the story behind your process, inspiration, etc. Share your photos, paintings, jewelry, poetry - any art medium! Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contests before. 

Farktography: Tourist Traps
DorisLessingCat went all the way to Jordan to win this Farktography contest


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we decided that the Pfizer marketing department that came up with the name "Comirnaty" would have been better off scribbling in "Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine" and calling it a day. On the Quiz itself, Redh8t came out on top with a score of 987, followed by Xanadone in second with 913 and Arkanaut in third with 896. TheMothership made fourth with 892, and PTP_Professor gets into the top five with 847.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about to whom Richard Robinson, the late owner of Scholastic publishing who died suddenly earlier this year, left his company and personal possessions. Only 19% of quiztakers knew that it was his former lover (and current Chief Strategy Officer of the company) who was now rolling in the dough. Personally, if I ever get rich enough to have an estate worth fighting over, I'm going to insist that contesting heirs actually fight over it in a medieval jousting tournament. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Olympic gold medalist diver Tom Daley of the UK and how he kept his hands busy while watching other competitions. 86% of quiztakers caught the clip of him busy with his knitting needles at the women's springboard competition. No word yet on his grandmother's take on his technique, but I'm guessing she would complement him on staying in practice.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Disney's newest confession that they are out of ideas. Only 47% of quiztakers knew that September 8 would mark the debut of "Doogie Kameāloha, M.D." starring Peyton Elizabeth Lee as a 16-year-old doctor in Hawai'i. Personally, I think the people in charge of the show took the Adam Sandler route and just used a known trope and set it in the place they wanted to vacation. No word yet on the impending "How I met You Father", which has not been announced, but face it, we all know it's coming.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which band performed their hit "House of the Rising Sun" on the Ed Sullivan Show back in 1964. 88% recognized the rock classic as the work of The Animals, which was such a great name for 4 guys with short hair who performed in business suits and looked like they wanted to take your daughter to prom and really would have her back by 10. It would still be another 6 years before Steven Tyler showed the world what a rock star was supposed to dress like.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, feel free to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Every week for seven years
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-08-18 1:37:50 PM (39 comments) | Permalink

The Fark NotNewsletter will be 7 years old next Wednesday. The traditional 7th anniversary gift is copper or wool, but I can always use more of the typical monkey things, like bananas, dynamite... wrenches. But really, having you here is the greatest gift I could ask for. Well, that or a giant robot.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Our beta test of the new Fark News Livestream went well last week.  Thanks to the folks who jumped in when they saw the Twitch notification.  We're going to do another beta test this week, Thursday at 3 p.m. ET.  Trevor's still getting used to the format, and I think I've got the audio situation worked out.  So we're not ready for prime time just yet.

By the way, if anyone knows anything about frame rates and Twitch, hit me up - either I've got a setting wrong or my local internet connection is shabby.  Which apparently it has been lately, someone dug up a bunch of cables somewhere.  My money's on the new Amazon facility in north Lexington, but I have no proof or evidence of that.

Should be an interesting show this week - the media cycle's been completely swamped with Afghanistan and COVID-19 stuff, but I've caught a few cool things flying under the radar.  Two of which involve nuclear fusion and Britney Spears, but there are many more.  Since this is still a beta test, we won't be running a Fark link or an embed for it so if you want to catch it, this'll be the only heads up about it.

Thanks also to the TotalFarkers who joined in the layout discussion last week - I should have new mocks for you shortly.  Anyone else who wants in on the conversation should sign up for TotalFark by next week.  Should be fun.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Noticeably F.A.T. had a foolproof strategy for ensuring toddlers don't find loaded weapons in one's home
Marcus Aurelius figured out why Chet Hanks is so opposed to the COVID-19 vaccines
Ivo Shandor had something to say about a toddler shooting her mom while the mom was on a Zoom call
farkingismybusiness reacted to a woman complaining about a Tigger flag in her neighbor's yard
felching pen asked a question about unlocked vehicles that a bear got into while looking for food
koder discussed the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally attendees who won't die in crashes or from COVID-19
Demetrius attempted to correct the math on NewportBarGuy's comment about hospital workers who walked out in protest over a vaccine mandate
Gordon Bennett had a specific reason for not being interested in watching Gina Carano's upcoming movie for Daily Wire members
Markoff_Cheney wanted justice when a woman died of COVID-19 days after undergoing an emergency C-section
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That came through for an article advising men against putting apple cider vinegar on their ding-a-lings

Smart:
Benevolent Misanthrope had a gentle message for Chet Hanks regarding his opposition to COVID vaccines
Noticeably F.A.T. had a foolproof strategy for ensuring toddlers don't find loaded weapons in one's home
IHateHipHop told us about a patient who was finally ready to get vaccinated
Kit Fister gave solid advice to anyone who needs to hire and keep employees
mjjt had a solution for hospitals that are overcrowded with unvaccinated COVID-19 patients
Recoil Therapy knew what a kindergartener's parents should do after the teacher advised limiting their kid's reading because she was too advanced
FarkingChas pointed out that the plague rats are also lab rats
thealgorerhythm shared what it's like for some kids to be back in school

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer Break stories
Smart: Hey Nurse! experienced a different kind of summer break
Funny: Theeng once was wilder than the wildlife

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Sin'sHero explained why Arnold Schwarzenegger has been so pro-vaccine and anti-Trump
blastoh told us more about the 774,000 COVID-19 vaccine doses that were administered that day
anjin-san reacted to Andrew Cuomo announcing his resignation
Badmoodman thought there was something odd about the name of the woman who was arrested for allegedly recruiting for GOP strategist Anton Lazzaro's underage sex trafficking
Im_Gumby knew someone who backed up a rumor that's going around

Politics Smart:
hubiestubert predicted people would rationalize rejecting the wise words of Arnold Schwarzenegger
weddingsinger explained a woman's rant against kids wearing masks in schools
EdwardTellerhands argued that there's another reason why it would be appropriate to name Highway 27 in Florida after Donald Trump
OneFretAway pointed out another time when Trump didn't seem to understand which things happened under his presidency
Ambivalence had a suggestion for Josh Hawley's idea that he got from Joe Biden


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Cork on Fork needed a sign
noazark gave excellent advice
Eegah took us to the gun show
EdgeRunner shared a fact about modern romance
RedZoneTuba found a master meditator
RedZoneTuba made a minimalist version of a popular meme
RedZoneTuba ran into our angry uncle
Wrongo discovered that the drought has changed the scenery
Driedsponge saw a puddy tat for the last time
DisseminationMonkey presented a wild boxing match

Fartist Friday: Use images or poetry to show how you like to relax
wild9 enjoys spending time at the lake

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Our theme is "Fark Artist Food Art" or "F'Artist F'Art," inspired by this tweet. It's a Virtual Shindig and veggie trays are so passé. Create a temptingly creative appetizer dish by drawing on paper a face or animal (or animal face) and decorating it with snack food you can then chow down on. Potato chips for hair, carrot sticks for a bunny's ears, etc.

Farktography: Artsy-Fartsy 3
beerrun gave us a bokeh of orchids


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and I'm gonna have to make up some more strawberry ice cream since we got four people in the 1000 club this time, UnrepentantApostate came out on top with 1020, just ahead of MrCynical in second with 1019 and fnordfocus in third with 1012. Reek! made fourth with 1010, and a far candle gets into the top five with 986.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which chocolate magnate was responsible for modern milk chocolate. Only 49% of quiztakers knew that Daniel Peter was experimenting with the baby formula made by Henri Nestlé in the 1870s, and later went into business with him to make the sweet chocolatey goodness in all its forms we know today. Of course, it was another 85 years before mankind came up with the perfection known as the 100 Grand bar, but this was a huge step towards its development,

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about where to find the biggest indoor water park in America. 82% of quiztakers knew that Kalahari Resorts and Conventions could be found in the Pocono Mountains of Northeast Pennsylvania. Interestingly, the name "Pocono" comes from an Algonquian word meaning "creek between two hills'', so I think it's safe to call that an understatement.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the upcoming series from David Letterman's Worldwide Pants, the production company he named for the pair of pants he sent across the country with Caset Kasem in the early 1990s. Only 60% of quiztakers knew that Sarah Silverman would be hosting a standalone show based on the Stupid Pet Tricks segment of his late night comedy shows of the 80s and 90s. Being that it's Sarah Silverman, I'm expecting a nonzero number of these tricks to involve poop.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about ZZ Top's Dusty Hill. A whopping 84% of quiztakers knew that he was the band's bassist. After his passing last month, the band announced that they would continue on with Elwood Francis, their long-time guitar tech, filling in on bass. Amazingly, this is the first lineup change the band has had for 51 years.  Fortunately, Francis already has the epic beard, so I think he's been ready to do this part for years.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up now that you know a few of the answers., Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Too hot for pants
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-08-12 11:31:26 AM (39 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

Been scrambling for time ever since getting back from my trip last week.  The good news is the really excellent but stupid side project I've been working on is progressing nicely.  It's also been fun getting back to coding again after a long break.  Still need TotalFarker eyes on a thing, will try to drop that one into TotalFark Discussion today or tomorrow.

The Fark News Livestream returns Today at 3 p.m. EST - kind of.  My friend and fellow RAGBRAI rider Trevor is going to step in for Dallan, who is unfortunately swamped with real-life duties. Today will be our first test run and my first time managing all the backend stuff, so it'll be pretty bare-bones.  Come join us while we figure stuff out - consider this to be a beta run.  Also, anyone interested in getting involved on-screen, drop me a line with a pitch (Drew at Fark).
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Marcus Aurelius suggested that people should eat a farm tool
farkingismybusiness explained why it's been so hard for firefighters to get the massive Greek wildfires under control
Sin'sHero appreciated those who were helping evacuate the island of Evia
LewDux gave more information about Mr Lordi, the singer of the Finnish heavy metal band Lordi, who was shown receiving a second vaccine dose
Cafe Threads figured that there are cases in which you should always suspect a certain family member of wrongdoing
OdradekRex had a theory on why one cop would "overdose" from being near fentanyl while another cop had no reaction
FrancoFile spoke for antivaxxer gym rats everywhere
mofa attempted to unravel a mystery
brap had Ice T discuss breastfeeding
grokca pointed out that a Star Wars memorabilia store owner who hates women who are transgender is apparently fine with questionable relationships

Smart:
KC Dutchman reminded us that our decisions about our own health can affect other people
Hey Nurse! shared what it's like treating COVID-19 patients who remain opposed to the vaccines
Glitchwerks let Farkers know that sharing your personal stories on Fark does make a difference
freddyV remains in pain because people won't take sensible precautions
stuhayes2010 had a point about people who claim COVID-19 is nothing worse than a bad flu
Doc Daneeka discussed the best way to let your own immune system handle COVID-19
Bovine Diarrhea Virus had to implement a vaccine mandate
Gordon Bennett described a virus's hopes and dreams

CSB Sunday Morning: Sports stories
Smart: COVID19 told us about finding a sport for a badass 7-year-old with type 1 diabetes
Funny: GRCooper's face saved the day

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja explained how people who entered the country illegally are responsible for the spread of COVID-19 in the U.S.
Karma Chameleon was not afraid of facing eviction
aleister_greynight told us how the MyPillow guy knows that all 50 states were flipped in an election hack
somedude210 laid out the reasons why J.D. Vance should stop trying to cancel "cat ladies"
UberDave took some guesses as to what caused Texas GOP official Scott Apley's death

Politics Smart:
Ass_Master_Flash argued that evidence shows that an Ohio politician was incorrect about who hates fishing
scottydoesntknow figured the San Francisco Deputy Sheriff's Association provided an additional argument supporting vaccine mandates for law enforcement
weddingsinger noticed that the attitude of some Sturgis Motorcycle Rally attendees seemed familiar
Mr. Coffee Nerves described what "patriots" are like
koder predicted what investment groups that buy houses in the suburbs to rent to people working from home will discover


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Driedsponge showed the age-old battle between plumber and ape
RedZoneTuba gave us surly citrus
Yammering_Splat_Vector found something the Apollo astronauts left behind
RedZoneTuba reminded pirates to keep it real
RedZoneTuba exposed a famous soundstage
Driedsponge designed a mannequin for the rest of us
Yammering_Splat_Vector styled Lisa's hair
RedZoneTuba put this man in the wrong place at the wrong time
Stantz rearranged this sign

Fartist Friday: Pets doing people jobs
freetomato's pup got a job workin' at the car wash

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To leisurely celebrate National Relaxation Day, we'll be using either images or poetry to describe how we like to relax. Post a picture of your favorite fishing spot, write a poem about beer, draw a cold beer, Photoshop your favorite beer, etc. Hmm, I'm sensing a theme.

Farktography: A, E, I, O, U
flondrix observed a constellation from Griffith Park


Beyond Fark (by Blythe)

Thanks to a good friend for letting us know Bimmer Jones passed away on June 19.  Caturday said goodbye to him this past weekBimmer Jones was a Farker for the past five years in his current username incarnation.  As he noted in his bio, he was also known as dramatools, joining in 2003 and retiring the name in 2015.  Bimmer Jones posted most often in Caturday, often commented on technology links, and occasionally joined in on politics threads.  He was especially proud of his greenlit submission "I hereby order the Fark admins to greenlight this thread," saying "Holy shiat, it worked!"   We send good wishes to his friends and family, and hope he has cats and Fark access in the great Beyond Fark.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although the 1000 club remains elusive for all yet again. Pity, too, with strawberry being my latest homemade ice cream flavor. On the Quiz itself, Dallymo came out on top with a score of 921, followed by uberhonky in second with 910 and Oliver Twisted in third with 906. syrynxx made fourth with 901, and Auntie Cheesus snuck in to the top five with 896.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which company owns Boost Mobile, Ting Mobile, and Republic Wireless. Only 29% of quiztakers knew that in the myriad world of corporate acquisitions and takeovers, Dish Network actually owns these MVNOs. I'm guessing someone must have thought it was a good idea at the time, or maybe there's a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the board of directors. I mean, with all the satellites, I'm pretty sure they know where you at.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about John Glenn's historic orbit of the Earth back in 1962. 82% of quiztakers knew that his spacecraft was named the Friendship 7. All of the Mercury spacecraft were given a name with a number designation of "7" because of the seven astronauts in the program. Or maybe just for luck or because the person in charge of naming lost a bet. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about who is going to be gracing one of the three covers of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Only 37% of quiztakers knew that it would be Megan Thee Stallion, who has taken her fame earned from "WAP" with Cardi B and run with it. She's joined by tennis star Naomi Osaka and model and activist Leyna Bloom on the other covers.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about where you can hear the voice talents of actor Judy Greer. 89% of quiztakers were familiar with her work as Cheryl Tunt in "Archer," which returns to FXX and Hulu on August 25. Sadly, this will likely be the final season after we lost Jessica Walter early this year.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again later this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Unicycles, dirty words, and seeking livestream team members
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-08-04 3:48:40 PM (39 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been going well.

I had a great time riding a bike across Iowa last week.  Except for that one day with the 117-degree heat index, the rest of the time it was pretty cool.  I've now had enough pork chop on a stick to last me the rest of the year. I'd like to give a quick shout out to the three people I saw rollerblading the entire ~450-mile route, along with that one guy on a unicycle.  And also to the US Air Force, who sent 103 riders to scour the route looking for people with flat tires.  They couldn't help me with mine (sidewall blew out), but they patched my friend's tire up three times in two hours.  Also, this week I learned that without public fundraisers, apparently no town in Iowa would have fire engines.

TotalFarkers: I could use some help with a thing related to the upcoming Swear Jar feature.  Link to be posted in TotalFark Discussion either later today (Wednesday) or tomorrow. Normally I try to get these out the door earlier, but I'm running behind on almost everything this week.

On to some other news: Dallan's travel schedule is getting too nuts to let him do the Fark News Livestream on a regular basis. Anyone out there interested in joining the team to help fill the gaps?  Drop me a line (Drew at Fark), open to any thoughts/suggestions.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 

Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
EnzoTheCoder speculated on the origins of a disastrous rockslide that was caught on video
Spartapuss mourned the death of ZZ Top's Dusty Hill
Stantz answered a question about a new promo for "Ghostbusters: Afterlife"
Great_Milenko pointed out the least realistic thing that happened on "Battlestar Galactica"
GreatGlavinsGhost's "man thang" had a reaction to the vaccine
UberDave explained why we can't fully trust vaccines
grokca knocked out a difficult project
Nina9 considered how dangerous it would be for a hiker in Death Valley as temperatures reached 118 degrees
gopher321 wasn't about to take any crap from We Ate the Necco Wafers
Ken S. pointed out that someone apparently knew how to stay safe in a rockslide

Smart:
hubiestubert discussed Simone Biles' decision to withdraw from some Olympic events
Side note: Here's an article that explains "the twisties" and why it's a dangerous condition that gymnasts can't just shake off
Ken S. pointed out that someone apparently knew how to stay safe in a rockslide
winedrinkingman talked about how to identify the best cars to break into
mofa knew why some people are so upset about masks
Irving Maimway explored possible reasons why the new Dune movie looks so much like the 1984 Dune movie
thealgorerhythm shared a video with a fellow athlete discussing Simone Biles' decision to step back from some events
markie_farkie appreciated the silence of the asshole
Barfmaker remembered life before vaccine passports

Politics Funny:
SpectroBoy came up with the squad name for Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Louis Gohmert and Paul Gosar
gopher321 pictured the holidays with an insurrectionist uncle
Sliding Carp came up with a defense for a candidate for Pennsylvania governor who drove several miles after an accident with a motorcycle stuck to the front of his car
grokca made an observation about a gun range that shut down after they declared they were "Muslim-free"
Candygram4Mongo proved that Donald Trump was indeed meeting with his Cabinet

Politics Smart:
bostonguy answered Morgan Fairchild's question
blastoh had some important information about people faking mental health problems
labman discussed Dee Snider's explanation of why you should choose to take it this time
cheap_thoughts helped a child obtain essential medical care
Hey Nurse! shared what it's like working in a hospital in Missouri


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
whitebelly showed that men can be monsters
Herb Utsmelz compared DNA samples
derfiticulum made art that looks back at you
Wrongo had no idea what we were talking about
retrophil topped whipped cream with whipped topping
RedZoneTuba showed us why the first sketch artist drawing of the Unabomber was never released
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered a land where dinosaurs roam
Kick The Chair made this into a happy little street
retrophil came across a strange sight on the way to the Hotel California
TWX had a way of keeping salespeople from coming to the door
guestguy did not impress this art critic

Fartist Friday: Odes to our favorite refreshments
medius didn't feel like just writing about a glass of cold lemonade

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: For "Work Like A Dog" day, show us what people-job your pet (or a pet you know) would be great at doing. My biscuit-making cat as a Baker, a neighbor's excitable dog as an Olympic High Jumper, or your Boxer as, well, a Boxer. Any art medium allowed - photography, Photoshop, drawing, etc.

Farktography: Go With the Flow 3
This one ended in a tie between MorningBreath's smoke and flame and spinach gunk's ducks in a row


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although the 1000 club sits empty. Pity, too, I had rented a bouncy castle. On the Quiz itself, DrunkenGator came out on top with 916, followed by Evildog in second with 902 and bonzo.deep in third with 887. HighZoolander made fourth with 879, and richh99 rounds out the top 5 with 871.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about National French Fry Day and who gets credit for bringing the dish to the US in 1802. Well, in 1802, John Adams was President and so would not have been a "guest" at the White House, Benjamin Franklin died in 1790, so that leaves America's Ambassador to France at the time, Thomas Jefferson. He's also credited with bringing other French foods like ice cream and macaroni & cheese here, as well as being the first major cultivator of tomatoes - a fruit that most people back then believed was deadly because of its place in the nightshade family.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what Ukranian crypto miners had figured out how to utilize for their mining operation with a huge amount of stolen electricity in an old warehouse. 80% of quiztakers knew they had managed to network some 3,800 PS4's and were powering them with over $250k /month of unmetered electricity. Here's hoping this might inspire the console peasants to join the glorious PC master race in the fight against crypto bros hogging all the video cards. 

The hardest question on the EasyQuiz was about who wrote and directed what most people consider to be one of the best movie sequels ever made - "Aliens". Only 34% knew that this although Ridley Scott directed the first, then up-and-comer James Cameron directed the sequel from his own script. And yes, he's the guy that took "First Blood" and decided to change direction from a tragedy about a former soldier struggling with PTSD to a former soldier giving other people PTSD, as he co-wrote "First Blood Part II". 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz last week was about Zsa Zsa Gabor finally ending her world tour, which she embarked on some five years ago following her death at the age of 99. 89% of quiztakers knew that her last husband laid her to rest in her native Budapest in Hungary. Well, three-fourths of her ashes, anyway. The other one-fourth will remain in her adopted home of Hollywood. Which I'm sure won't cause any issues if her spirit decides to haunt some place.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·


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