Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
View a Fark blog:    


Newest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Oldest

Fark NotNewsletter: Making your GIF wishes come true, plus Headline of the Year voting begins
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-12-17 12:00:52 PM (129 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Fark's dev team:  
________________________ 

As a special holiday gift, we're making a change that's been on many of your wish lists:  We're upping the animated GIF limit from 2MB to 8MB, so you can post that GIF you've been saving of Drew, Santa Claus and the Loch Ness Monster having a sleigh race on the moon.

We know... "FINALLY!" you all say.  There are two main reasons it's taken us this long.  One is that bigger GIFs cost us more money.  We pay for all those bits and bytes that go between our server and your device.  The second is that bigger GIFs potentially cost YOU more money, especially on mobile devices with data plans (and even with unlimited data, they tend to slow down the page).

None of us can afford to spend extra money for animated GIFs that could otherwise be used for better things, like ugly Christmas sweaters for our dogs/cats/big-nutted-squirrels, so along with the increase in GIF limit, we're making all* animated GIFs click-to-play.  You will see the word "GIF" in the middle of the image with a dotted rectangle, and that's your cue to click.

TotalFarkers - you'll have new preferences in your myFark profile page to always autoplay animated GIFs if you'd like.  If you're not worried about your data plan or pages loading more slowly, and you don't want click-to-play, then this is the option for you.  Your subscription fee helps offset the costs to us.

(*almost all animated GIFs will be click-to-play.  Tiny ones - less than 100px on a side - will still autoplay)

________________________

A message from toraque:  
________________________ 

"Oh, No, Not Again! The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology" is here in time for Christmas!  Tales of intrigue, tales of fright, tales of derring-do and maybe even derring-don't, flights of fancy and fanciful flights!  The best writers from the community of Fark have once again come together to bring you the most Fark-worthy short fiction to be found. From fantasy and science fiction to mystery and suspense and horror and even humor, this collection of stories showcases the brilliant minds among us.  And even better, once again, all proceeds from the sale of this anthology will be donated to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, so even if you don't like reading, you can still help a good cause!  

"Oh, No, Not Again!: The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology" Paperback edition
"Oh, No, Not Again!: The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology" Kindle edition

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

On this week's Fark and Schnitt: A roundup of porch pirate stories, including a clever way to get them to take out your trash. The cocaine Santa sweater is back!  And a thorough deconstruction of Porch Pirate Glitter Bomb 2.0, starring Macaulay Culkin for some reason.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Headlines of the Year (brought to you by blythe)

The first round of Headline of the Year voting is live!  

We love Headline of the Year!  We love our submitters, and Headline of the Year gives us the chance to highlight the best of the fantastic, funny headlines submitted all year long. 

This round of voting starts Tuesday, December 17 and ends Monday, December 23 at noon Eastern.

TotalFarkers, this first round is for TotalFarkers only! Your votes in this round determine the headlines for the Final round next week!  Vote, vote, vote, and let's see what you love!  

The links for all other Farkers are read-only, we wanted everyone to have a chance to see all the headline candidates, so you can still follow the links and read!  We'd love to have you join us and add your votes too!  Either way - voting or just reading - Enjoy!

For voting - Consider each headline as carefully as you wish!  Some are puns, some are wordplay, some you need to click through a few times to read the story or the Fark comments to figure out the joke (and these are often some of the best), sometimes the joke is in the symbols, sometimes its a sideways look at the story or the world.  Vote for any or all!  We don't limit your voting, we really want to see what you laughed at and enjoyed!  There are a *lot* of headlines, so pace yourself, and enjoy the ride.

Headline of the Year 2019 Voting for TotalFarkers:
Main
Discussion
Sports
Business
Geek
Entertainment
D'awww
Food
Politics


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
vudukungfu thought that a polyamorous group looked familiar
BizarreMan tried to look on the bright side when a youth minister slapped a reporter's butt on television
JerseyTim shared an important office holiday party safety tip
linemanbear chose a very specific reason to play football in high school (probably playing on this comment from Marcus Aurelius, but we'll never be entirely sure)
Prank Call of Cthulhu added the voiceover for one of the men in a polyamorous relationship
TheAlgebraist added a little more information about a survey on alts
skyotter thought that a journalist sounded old
Shostie argued that the original "Ghostbusters" movie had a certain kind of mood throughout
The Googles Do Nothing talked about being a fan of Lizzo before she became so well known
Chariset knew the kind of satisfaction you get when you wear a Fitbit while fapping

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Vermithrax Perjorative relocated Canada's new body farm to Letterkenny

Smart:
NobleHam wondered if some polyamorous people were really polyamorous
kermit the forg's user name checked out
ThomasPaineTrain shared a story about a meat-hiding friend
Biscuit Tin had a theory about kids with names with unusual spelling
JerseyTim came forth with evidence that a characterization of the first "Ghostbusters" movie was incorrect
Flappyhead noticed a detail in the "Ghostbusters: Afterlife" trailer
TylerParry decided to use someone else's successful investment plan
Magorn felt neither surprised nor bothered by a loving group of people
EvilEgg figured that office parties should be about spending less time around your coworkers
Boojum2k shared a memory of René Auberjonois at a convention

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
MBooda shared a cool story about meeting Arthur C. Clarke in Sri Lanka

CSB Sunday Morning: What happened that long-ago first time you connected to the internet
Smart:
italie and a friend put in hours of work for an awesome multiplayer experience
Funny: unchellmatt used that first time on the internet for the second-oldest online activity

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Earthworm Jim Jones had the top answer for something that's "classy if you're rich, but trashy if you're poor"
Funny: Well....Alrighty....Then told us about a disastrous day at work
Smart: MIAppologia sided with a Farker's neighbor in a dispute that escalated to chicken throwing
Funny: Al_Ed had the most rednecky answer for "What redneck things do you enjoy?"
Smart: leeksfromchichis was impressed by how smart the members of this website are

Politics Funny:
arrogantbastich thought that Mike Huckabee's opinion that Donald Trump should be allowed to run for a third term isn't all bad
DarnoKonrad expressed feelings about Greta Thunberg being named "Person of the Year" by Time magazine
Mike_LowELL didn't appreciate being called out in a thread about a tweet from Mike Huckabee
Needlessly Complicated showed us What Trump is talking about
BizarreMan listed the "5 companies" an angry climate change denier owns

Politics Smart:
arrogantbastich thought that Mike Huckabee's opinion that Trump should be allowed to run for a third term isn't all bad
HighOnCraic was flabbergasted by what Trump said about Jewish Americans' feelings about Israel
Xai pointed out one problem with no longer allowing anyone to listen to President Trump's phone calls with foreign leaders
Unobtanium worried about something Trump might do if he loses the 2020 election
dailygrinds addressed Joe Biden's statement that "we need a Republican Party"


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a much simpler map of American cultures
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this floor a surly expression
RedZoneTuba showed that even an adorable alien can end up being dangerous (warning: kind of graphic)
Circusdog320 revealed the reason why some people call it the "Dracula parrot"
RedZoneTuba proved that really great fashion never goes out of style
RedZoneTuba put squirrels in the Kent State massacre
Alligator demonstrated that Jell-O is brain food
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel shared a San Franciscan view of America
Yammering_Splat_Vector got this bird dressed up for a night on the prowl
RedZoneTuba shut down everything

Captions:
Devolving_Spud saw a resemblance to a Dustin Hoffman character
Grumpy Cat figured out what a famous grumpy cat might have been thinking
Devolving_Spud remembered how much fun old cars could be if you were wearing shorts

Farktography:
Circusdog320 won Farktography Contest No. 762: "Less is More 4" with this reflective aviator

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Beyond Fark

We're very sad to have lost longtime Farker yoyo. You might have met him at a Fark Party, such as the big ones in New Orleans and Las Vegas, or smaller ones like the one he organized last month in D.C. You can read yoyo's memorial thread here.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although the 1000 club is collecting spiders. the Mole of Production came out on top with 901, followed by Xanadone in second with 899 and kjlopey right behind in third with 898. MostlyLurking managed fourth with 883, and Tyrosine made it into the top 5 with 873. Hopefully this week's Quiz is a little easier.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over which Christmas classic was NOT going into the dreaded "Disney Vault" and subjected to limited release every decade or so. Only 17% of quiztakers knew that Gremlins was a Warner Bros movie and therefore beyond the whims of the Mouse House. Die Hard and Home Alone were both 20th Century Fox films, so better grab a copy from the bargain bin while you still can, as Mickey is going to milk the brands for more remakes and sequels before you'll ever see the originals again.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over the new "Cosmic Crisp" produce variety. 85% of quiztakers knew that this was a variety of apple long in the making, named for the little pale specs that make it look kinda like a star field if you squint really hard. Also, those folks who spent all this time into engineering a piece of produce to last for a year in the fridge should talk to the avocado that's been in mine since the Dubya administration. I mean, seriously, talk to it - I think it's learning English from reading all of the labels.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was over MTV's "Lost Weekend" contest, where a random person spent 3 days on tour with a legendary hard-partying band. Only 41% of quiztakers remembered that a random 20-year-old got to hang backstage with none other than Van Halen during their insane 1984 tour. I mean, the question did say he lived to tell about it, and I'm pretty sure the same can't be said about anyone who spent even one day trying to keep up with Mötley Crüe.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which pictures got Russian censors so upset they blocked the entire country from accessing the stock image website Shutterstock. 87% of quiztakers knew that a contributor to the site had uploaded a series of images with the statement "The Russian flag banner is placed in a pile of dog feces. It symbolizes protests against Russian politics." Personally, I think he was trying to get out of picking up his doggie's messes by calling them "art." I mean, it's more artistic than a banana taped to a wall, and with zero risk of a random "performance artist" eating the thing.

Congratulations to the winners, and be and sure and bring your digital watch to this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Banana art, pigeon hats, and a tribute to a fallen Farker
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-12-10 11:45:47 AM (18 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hope everyone is well!  Super weird news cycle is in effect right now.  In particular, the banana duct taped to the wall artwork that sold for $120,000, but then someone ate it.  I can't put my finger on it, but that entire sequence doesn't seem entirely organic to me. Anyhow, if anyone out there would like a banana duct taped to the wall for less than $120,000, let me know because I've got both bananas and duct tape.  And walls. I could use one of your walls as well, I'm willing to travel.  

Xmas season is in full swing, folks - do you know what you could get for your favorite Farker?  Why not a year of TotalFark? I had a call yesterday with a longtime Farker who's been reading for 15 years and who admitted he had never signed up for TotalFark.  He couldn't figure out why he hadn't yet. For that matter, I can't figure out why you haven't either. $5 makes a huge difference in the aggregate folks. Plus how else are we going to finance Mike's habit of putting cowboy hats on pigeons in Las Vegas?    Why not sign up for TotalFark today, or sign someone else up? Remember, only you can prevent hatless Las Vegas pigeons.

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast, we interviewed my good friend and best-selling sci-fi author and TotalFark subscriber since 2003ish John Scalzi about his new Christmas Anthology, his upcoming new novel to be released in April, and Fart Guns.  Among other things. Also it turns out Todd knows where the opening music from the CBS SPECIAL bumper came from, the one that used to play before every Christmas cartoon in the '70s and '80s. Check it out and learn something new today - and also why this episode is the perfect segue from pigeons wearing cowboy hats.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
grokca knew why hugram had a question about a woman who was charged with, among much worse things, inappropriate activities with her dog
Ghastly has a clever way of dealing with being spied on through a Ring camera
Mr_Vimes relayed the thoughts of a yacht captain who crashed while fooling around with a deckhand
Mike_LowELL explained why Peloton is a hero
BizarreMan had a threat and a promise for would-be hackers
BizarreMan thought it was obvious why a broadcaster commented on a quarterback's "dark skin color with a dark football"
Keyser_Soze_Death identified with a character in "The Irishman"
Jack Sabbath expressed relief about an update on Jenna Jameson's condition
Cdr.Murdock explained having no desire to give one particular gift this Christmas
OkieDookie described how one type of business adapted when technology could've made them obsolete

Smart:
wkndfrk shared some information about how police handled a dangerous situation
Pocket Ninja figured that Peloton wanted everyone to think their commercial was creepy and unsettling
lolmao500 thought it would be a good idea for police to consider whether or not a given action is worth it
We Ate the Necco Wafers figured that someone might be in need of a biology lesson
Munden pointed out that Peloton's strange commercial hasn't hurt them as much as you might think
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen wrote a comment in some ancient secret code
bluenote13 described how a lot of people see the Peloton commercial
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen noticed that people probably had opportunities to help a woman who was being scammed
scottydoesntknow figured out how to fix a bad commercial
Sophont described some stupid opinions about a first child being a girl

CSB Sunday Morning: Your most memorable Thanksgiving
Smart:
The Pope of Manwich Village shared a beautiful story about spending Thanksgiving in a hospital
Funny: Hilarity ensued when DocBubba decided to try out a special stuffing recipe

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: NuclearPenguins had an example of something you can say on TFD and during sexytime
Funny: Beeblebrox gave a belated welcome to someone who was feeling left out
Funny: raerae1980 felt defensive about a question
Smart: Beeblebrox answered a Farker's question about dating history
Funny: Brawndo figured out how a TotalFarker's kid wound up with a diamond in the sole of her shoe
Smart: CommieTaoist responded to the idea that possessing durian fruit should be illegal
Funny: merrillvillain shared a fun fact about sperm

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja explained why Donald Trump was so insulted when other world leaders made fun of him behind his back
naughtyrev was glad to see Matt Gaetz tweeting about impeaching a former president
Xai wanted to start a new cruise line that would be more accepting than some airlines
NateAsbestos didn't think that hodgemann was right about Joe Biden
NewportBarGuy responded to a rumor about the 9/11 terrorists

Politics Smart:
AdmirableSnackbar agreed with wkndfrk about there being things to like and dislike about one of Joe Biden's ads
MrBallou discussed why someone might not want to be overheard admitting to being a Trump supporter
hodgemann disagreed with CNN's assessment of the U.S. economy
thorpe suggested a strategy for Democrats running against Trump
FlashHarry wanted some changes to how elections are handled


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector demonstrated what can happen to your hair if you drag your feet on the carpet way too much
Terrapin Bound requested a few substitutions when ordering this English breakfast
verchad discovered a predatory breed of dog
whatsupchuck showed a symbiotic relationship between a human and a lamb
Alligator found a way to get rid of Krampus
RedZoneTuba gave us a convenient way to wrap gifts from the duty-free shop
Kick The Chair proved that some dogs wag their heads instead of their tails
Alligator showed how Vladimir Putin would travel if he were a Farker
RedZoneTuba revealed that Krampus has the wandering eye
Snubnose demonstrated the wrong way to bathe your dog

Farktography:
beerrun won Farktography Contest No. 761: "The Big D" with the fastest beer run yet

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Beyond Fark

We're very sad to have learned of the recent death of Farker martissimo. He posted comments in all types of Fark threads, especially the Sunday Morning Music Club and MSNBC discussion threads. Some of his friends from the MSNBC discussion crew put together a loving tribute to martissimo, which is now live on the Discussion tab. You can also read the combined MSNBC discussion/memorial thread for martissimo from last week. As his wife said to a Farker who reached out to her, "Tell everyone here how much he loved them -- he talked about everyone all the time."


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's quiz, although the 100 club remains empty once again. Xanadone takes the top spot with 966, followed by Denjiro in second with 952. MrCynical and Dallymo tied for third with 920, and Datanerd made fourth with 910. Oliver Twisted and grimlock1972 finish it out with a tie for fifth at 901.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over what $900,000 item Ireland ordered for their Parliament that simply wouldn't fit in the building. Only 18% of quiztakers knew that it was a super-duper state-of-the-art printer that could collate, staple, and likely print silly signs for the minority party to put up behind them in their version of Congressional hearings (America is such a leader in political culture in this respect). The interesting thing is that although they've spent another quarter of a million bucks modifying the building to finally get it in, the workers refuse to operate it without special training (and a pay raise) and the IT people refuse to hook it up because of security concerns about stored documents. I'm thinking just turn it into a Kinko's. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over which musical instrument was getting the most interest from students at East High School in Anchorage, Alaska. 81% of quiztakers knew that the guys up in Alaska apparently think the ladies like a guy with a small instrument, and have signed up for ukulele lessons. Interestingly, although ukuleles are a Hawaiian invention (modified from a Portuguese stringed instrument), its popularity in Alaska stems from neighboring Canada, where public school teachers latched onto it as an inexpensive way to teach kids about musical scales in the last half of the 20th Century. 

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which game show was devoting an entire episode to 90's rockers Fall Out Boy. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that they'd be joining Drew Carey on stage for a one-off episode of The Price Is Right. I'm guessing Fear Factor was ruled out early in the negotiations.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which country with a history of colonialism still thought Santa's sidekick Black Pete (a white guy in caricatured blackface) should still be a thing in 2019. 85% of quiztakers knew that it was The Netherlands who still weren't getting the memo, I mean, if it's not about Pete's race, let's change the color up a bit. Make him "Green Pete" or do a thing where he changes every year. But sheesh, guys.

Congratulations to the winners and be sure to check out this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Tribute to Farker martissimo: See ya when I get there, old friend
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-12-09 8:10:19 PM, edited 2019-12-10 12:37:11 PM (32 comments) | Permalink

Words for martissimo:

I miss you terribly, Marty. You had faith in me when I didn't. You trusted me to make the Picasso quilt, knowing I could do it, when I didn't. I hope you really liked it as much as you said you did. I miss you, I didn't get my hug, I love you.

Fark user image

-Kimwim


In the weird online world, I considered Fark user martissimo a good dude who'd had life experiences that were fascinating and unfamiliar to me, and who was a good model for an ordinary guy wanting to do something about the politics that originally brought us together in the daily "Maddite" MSNBC discussion threads.

What he revealed about himself through his posts was that he was a good and decent man who had great taste in music, who wasn't afraid to talk about the times he failed at things, about his workaday experiences, and the thought processes he was going through to take the next step, and to the next one, and so on.

By inference, it seemed plain to me that he was on a good path to working his way forward in these chaotic times. I really respected and appreciated his hopeful and practical advice about making steps to affect politics at the local and national level, and I was impressed by pictures of some of his woodworking.

I'm going to miss his contributions and humor; he felt like family. He would be posting humor or music video links, and if someone posted about a bad life experience, he'd turn on a dime and chime in to support and commiserate with them.

Again, the bottom line was that he was a good dude with good things to say, and I'm better for the conversations he contributed to, and I'm sad that he's left us so early.

-Mofa


Marti was the first person in here I had a phone conversation with. We had never spoken before aside from a few Fark interactions. We talked for nearly an hour about life, beer, and football. He will be missed.

-Precious Roy's Horse Dividers


I only know him from his posts on Fark--he was one of the ones that did the "morning shift" on the Maddow threads. He was a musical prodigy, especially on keyboards, and loved to go to shows. He was a union carpenter in Vegas, doing mostly the fine finish work, though he did other jobs often, setting up convention spaces and whatnot. His dad (like mine) worked at Rocketdyne back in the day, cleaning up the test stands at Santa Susana and taking environmental measurements. He had some connection with a LA music venue through a relative, and I wonder if that is where he got his lifelong love of music--he knew casually so many of the great rock and rollers of the 70's and 80's. Most importantly, he was incredibly generous--I know he's helped out a number of the Maddites with money, tools, advice and general support. He was unfailing kind, and also one of the people who helped turn Nevada blue in his district, working for his local candidates--hoping to make a difference for everyone around him. I'll miss him a lot.

-FishCake


Any time I had a question about carpentry, marti was always happy to offer advice. Whether dealing with finishing, cutting, tools, drywall, joining... he was happy to share his knowledge to lift others up.

He was also acting to be the change he wanted to see in this world, which is something rare and wonderful.

He was one of those rare souls you just couldn't help but to like, even if at times it was almost impossible to understand what he was talking about. He had an infectious and uplifting spirit that will be sorely missed.

Rest in peace, marti. My deepest condolences to his wife, family, and dog.

-EighthDay


Marty was a man of talent and jest and wisdom, albeit a bit off the wall.  Because of him, I cannot walk into a building without looking at the finish work.  When I decided I needed some more materials to keep my jewelry making going, I offered up a one year subscription plan.  Minutes later, I had an email from him.  He subscribed for 12 pieces and asked for my PayPal to send the money to.  I spent a portion of it on these:

Fark user imageView Full Size


So, every one of you that has ordered up something and got any of these emeralds, rubies or sapphires in the piece has a tiny piece of Marty's generosity.  I'm still working with these materials.

I'm gonna miss him.

-Auntie Cheesus


Fark user image

I gave marti this Farky the day he went to a Trump Rally and intentionally got kicked out for protesting. Even after the foot thing happened, he kept working on campaigning for his favored candidates and policies. He was a stone cold badass until the day he died.

While the rest of us were bullshiatting on Fark, he was an active participant in the Democratic Party in myriad ways.

I'm gonna miss our epic arguments, buddy. Even though I hated you sometimes, I always loved you.

Rest In Peace.

-HedlessChickn


I remember having a conversation with Marti once about the Dead and my feeling of cosmic synesthetic ebullience that overwhelms me when I listen to show recordings between 68-70 of them segue into The Eleven and the wave breaks and Jerry starts playing the first ascending notes--like an ascension to a higher consciousness on a rainbow bridge formed of each successive tone, like entering the monolith, like collapsing the explicate layer of reality into the universal implicate, like synchronizing Transatlanticism with Hoshi no Koe, like a searing approach to Unknown Kadath and a wingéd flight into deepest space to watch the Big Bang run in reverse. He listened to my delusions where others might smile politely and back away slowly. There are a lot of Dead songs about life and loss, but I will leave tonight with this one, which they played in the early days to end their shows. Goodnight to a unique soul.

-dhcmrlchtdj


"A legend is gone, and I'm sorry he did not live to see Trump go to jail.  We can be comforted that he will get to see Trump in hell.  I imagine marti is already in heaven, loading up an armload of rocks."

-Cpl. D.


Marti was truly one of a kind though I never had a chance to meet him in the 'real world'. He often spoke (typed) in a strange and hard to understand language, but he always looked to the good and his first instinct was to help someone out if he was in a place to do so. I was always amazed at the stories and all the music shows he went to over the years. I cannot help but think of him any time I see a Hammond B3 and a Leslie speaker. And I also want to say that it was clear from his posts that he loved his wife and lived for her (and music).

I had him farkied (in part) as 'He shook his tail feather' and I'm happy to say that after spending some time searching a bunch of old threads, I found that post again and can post his pic here again. It was nice going through some of his old posts and I included some highlights of what I found that, at least in part, allows him to share some bits of who he was in his own words.

RIP Marti. You will definitely be missed around here and wherever you are I hope you're shaking your tail feather and boogieing to the music.

Marti shaking his tail feather after soon posting Shake Your Tail Feather again after the thread veered off into The Blues Brothers references

Fark user imageView Full Size


Marti talking about his love of music (and his wife):

You're killing me here man, love the Violent Femmes.  First real concert I ever saw was B52s with Violent Femmes in Nashville.  Caught em again in Knoxville a few years later.  Both amazing shows, the bass player kills me.  Please do not go was part of the motivation that led to me spending my high school job money on bass lessons.  This shiat is still in regular rotation in my household!
You haven't scratched the surface of my time in music (I live for it was a band manager by the very early '80s) So much stuff I can share thanks to the miracle of the internet, I'm looking for only the best though, If I can find one specific moment it'll be me and Ken Kesey looped out of our gourds right before he went on stage lol
The only thing I live for is live music and my wife (sadly maybe in that order)
/NO
//NOT IN THAT ORDER
///close tho


Barkalounger pic:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Marti in the movies:

There's a quote on that first page that makes me laugh, IF you watch REALLY closely you can see me in the the Johnny Depp version of Fear and Loathing.
The scene with the spinning wheel is shot right in front of a dice table I was working that day (they soaked the street to make it look like nighttime), reality it was like 2 PM
(i have a lot of random shiat i got extra kinda shiat in, that one wasn't even paid, just standard Horseshoe casino pay), still I can always spot myself in a cool movie

-
G-Ride


He had an exuberance of commenting style that always made me smile--a rambling flow that reminded me often of lyrics.

-Dallymo


Heard this song for the first time Sunday as i was driving home from Atlanta, heard it the second time Monday after I heard the news about Marti. I'm now never gonna be able to hear it again without thinking of Marti and his room with a view....

No matter how much the clock goes around
There's an aching pain
The sun goes up and the sun goes down
But it still feels the same
Your house is just some drywall now
Your parents moved away

I know you got a room with a view up there
And you're looking down on me
I know you got a room with a view up there
Please save a spot for me

It's been ten years without you
And all your friends have aged
Some got married and some had kids
And some just moved away
And there's a few that came to live with you
A few that are on the way

I know you got a room with a view up there
And you're looking down on me
I know you got a room with a view up there
Please save a spot for me

All the laughter that you missed out on
Tears in your name
Your brother and sister are doing great now
But your mother's never been the same
And your father's there to comfort them
On every happy holiday

I know you got a room with a view up there
And you're looking down on me
I know you got a room with a view up there
Please save a spot for me

I know you got a room
I know you got a room


Hope to see you there one day, so you can resume annoying the ever-loving shiat out of me. I miss you, buddy.

-stickmangrit


Marty was a unique breed of badass. He had a Pure Chaos Energy that I have only seen maybe once or twice before in my life, and those times the stars burned out too soon as well. He was always willing to help, lend a hand, lend an opinion, or offer support to this small and tightly knit community. Sometimes it was impossible to make heads or tails of what he was trying to say, creative genius can be like that. His musical talents and opinions are what we connected on the most, his jam session descriptions are the stuff of legend.

The man was a true Wild Card, the kind of person Hunter S. Thompson was writing about when he penned "There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

I look forward to having a beer with him when I get there. Until then, cheers Old Friend.

-Markoff_Cheney
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Do you have a great Fark story? It could be in Drew's next book
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-12-03 2:13:21 PM, edited 2019-12-03 2:14:22 PM (116 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hope everyone survived Thanksgiving weekend.  I was in Denver and it snowed over a foot last Tuesday night, so by Thursday I was out sledding with my kids and their cousins.  Nothing better to wear out kids than making them repeatedly climb snow hills. The best part of the holiday was my brother-in-law spilling red wine on his white dog.  Check the social tubes for pics of the incident.  

A few items of note: First off, I've been writing a retrospective on the first two decades of Fark.  It's pretty close to finished, however the other day a long-time Farker posted on The Twitter that she met her husband on Fark after a rough period in her life.  I've heard hundreds of similar stories from people impacted by other Farkers in amazing ways, and I think the book should include some of those. Especially ones involving slatted chairs or streetlights.  Anyhow, if you've got a great Fark-related story from the past 20 years you'd like to share, post it in the comments on Fark for this NotNewsletter, tweet it, or email it to me. Can't wait to see what we get.  

Meanwhile, do you know what I'd like for Xmas this year?  A bunch of new TotalFark subscribers! And bourbon, but I already live in Kentucky.  So if you've been looking for a time to subscribe, now's the time to pull the trigger!

Finally, on this week's Fark and Schnitt Podcast: Drew describes what little he remembers of his epic Thanksgiving, road rage gone very wrong, and an Irishman tie-in on how future archaeologists might locate Jimmy Hoffa.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen knew where the Confederacy got the idea to create steam-powered helicopters
Barfmaker wanted to watch a police officer collect evidence
Kellner21 found one Farker's admission to not be all that surprising
zez suspected that a woman who was suspicious of a UPS worker copied her look from a certain celebrity
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat explained why a woman's unexpected reaction to a pelvic exam wasn't as awkward as it could have been
markie_farkie knew why raising a bridge that people keep running into won't solve the problem
isamudyson shared this one weird trick for opening a can without the use of a can opener
edmo pointed out a better way to get into a locked house than trying to go down the chimney
calbert borrows another Farker's tool to open cans (see the comment preceding it)
blastoh gave an example of someone else who lives life like Kid Rock does

Smart:
Recoil Therapy had a suggestion for handling the problem of a woman harassing a black UPS delivery worker
Needlessly Complicated pointed out that an article about obtaining new corrective lenses in the U.S. missed an important aspect
baka-san expressed concern about the Tesla Cybertruck's "unbreakable" windows
Snapper Carr shared a theory on why Kid Rock doesn't like Oprah Winfrey
jimjays told us about having a change of opinion due to gaining new information, and expressing regret for being wrong before
Ivo Shandor explained what it means for the internet to have run out of IPv4 addresses
Straight Outta Wells Branch shared a story about interviewing Kid Rock on the radio
FormlessOne gave advice to follow if you ever catch a coworker breaking the law
optikeye described witnessing sleazy financial practices by a church organization
FarkingSmurf pointed out that a video of a foundry mishap was being reenacted on a smaller scale all over the U.S.

CSB Sunday Morning: Family rules
Smart:
gordian's parents came up with a clever way to handle a child who doesn't like wearing a seat belt
Funny: Roman Fyseek discovered what "movin' on up" feels like, thanks to a family rule attached to one household chore

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: TotalFarkers voted for a Fark logo option that Blythe gave them for Fark gear
Funny: Roman Fyseek is heavily involved in the local singles scene
Funny: Whistler36 was no so easily distracted by strange noises
Smart: Ponzholio heard a wilder conspiracy theory than the ones a submitter heard from an old friend
Funny: Beeblebrox made an alteration to a list of crushes after seeing the comment immediately preceding this one

Politics Funny:
naughtyrev revealed that President Donald Trump will soon receive a coveted award
Purple_Urkle gave an example of the strange new sunbathing trend that spread across the internet last week
pkjun shared an example of one of Trump's great accomplishments
Mike_LowELL reacted to information about the author of an article advising Republicans to bring up politics over Thanksgiving dinner
Alphax recognized that a statement was misattributed to Ronald Reagan

Politics Smart:
Devolving_Spud made a countersuggestion to legislators who want to force doctors to try to "reimplant" ectopic pregnancies
Xai worked out what a bill requiring doctors to reimplant ectopic pregnancies would mean
OdradekRex figured out what Eric Trump's "LOPA" hat really means
luna1580 shared a story about a coworker who is a Trump fan
Cubansaltyballs took a guess at why Trump pardoned war criminals and wants them to go on the campaign trail with him


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector helped an eagle steal its nest back
Mojongo discovered that the first Thanksgiving featured some very American food
Alligator made a holiday movie for grownups who love each other very much
Circusdog320 created a romantic comedy about a potential couple who take Christmas preparations to the absolute limit
Kick The Chair included a Christmas film for advocates of strict border security
zeon encountered a creature even meaner than a xenomorph
TrollingForColumbine gave shirtless Vladimir Putin yet another thing to ride
RedZoneTuba finally gave President Trump the parade he's been wanting
Yammering_Splat_Vector was about to find out if these women chose poorly or wisely
TWX showed that these women really are three amigas

Farktography:
Circusdog320 won Farktography Contest No. 760: "Giving Thanks 2" with a baby photo of someone who's all grown up now

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

We had a fun time on last week's Quiz, although once again no one made the 1000 club. bobbelieu came out on top with 958, followed by Curseyoukhan in second with 902 and Martha Farker in third with 879. scrumpox snagged fourth with 879, and Denjiro and avratt tied for fifth with 862.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over where to find the newly opened Vagina Museum. Only 23% knew it was in Camden Market in London, England, so I'm guessing most Farkers missed out on the special edition "Vagina Museum: I Came First!"  grand opening pins (yes, those are real). 59% of quiztakers guessed Copenhagen, so I imagine the Danes are really going to have a weird opinion of American tourists when the next Fark Party is in Denmark. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about parents who were upset that their 5-and-6-year-old munchkins got to participate in SCIENCE. 82% of quiztakers knew that a junior high student had handed out child-proof containers to the little squirts for his science fair project, and parents were surprised to learn that the kids could not only read instructions on the lids but actually follow them. So it's the school's fault for teaching the kids, obviously.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which artist had lent his image and his thoughts on guitar making to Martin Guitar's D16-E "Rock the Vote" Edition. Only 54% knew that David Crosby had taken time out of his busy schedule of fathering children with women who don't wish to be intimate with him to make a guitar to promote voting among young people. I mean, personally, I'd rather have a Springsteen one, but I'm pretty sure the folks at Martin just didn't want to have to go to New Jersey.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about Coffee Mate's newest creamer that's launching alongside their Funfetti flavor (yes, birthday-cake flavored coffee creamer). 82% of quiztakers knew that they had picked the one cereal that would actually work for this - Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I mean, it's still breakfast-y, and most everyone likes cinnamon, so this actually sounds pretty good. I do pity the product testers when it came to trying some of the others, like Raisin Bran or Mueslix coffee creamers. 

Congratulations to the winners, and don't forget to head over to this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Why's Drew in the Mile High City talking about Oxi and hemp?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-11-26 1:42:34 PM (35 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Happy Thanksgiving week, everyone!  Hopefully you don't have to travel far, especially since a winter storm dumped a foot of snow on Denver last night.  Which is where I currently am. Afternoon plans include taking my kids sledding 'til their legs fall off.

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast, Todd and I interview OxiClean pitchman Anthony Sullivan on why he suddenly decided to buy a 116-acre hemp farm in Vermont and become a full-time farmer.  The answer is somewhat unexpected, check it out.  And if you dislike clickbait taglines and/or are like me and don't have a commute long enough to make listening to podcasts worth it, I posted the reason in the comments thread for the podcast on Fark.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Dewey Fidalgo found humor in the description of the spectacular view from a couple's house
Ghastly was upset to see an old horror movie trope being used
englaja recognized the story about a woman who's facing charges for not wearing a shirt in her own home
maddan argued that a convicted woman did not actually murder her identical twin
Natalie Portmanteau understood what a teacher with an unfortunate name had to deal with
optikeye shared a story about feeding the local crows
Harry Freakstorm figured out what to do about a transmission poll that is spoiling someone's view
MattyBlast explained what happens after you call police and pretend to be ordering a pizza to discretely ask for help
calbert celebrated a promising update about the child who was thrown from a Mall of America balcony
Abe Vigoda's Ghost discovered what the mother of an injured boy is doing wrong

Smart:
Egoy3k reviewed reasons why vegans could be angry that their food is cooked on the same grill used to cook meat
JNowe noticed a red flag for vegans
Ghastly had a different opinion of why "Solo: A Star Wars Story" didn't do as well as other Star Wars films
jontagat asked some questions about the circumstances that led to a teacher's arrest
Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion had an idea for handling an HOA that claims a child can't play outside in common areas
sirrerun figured out why saying "OK, Boomer" to coworkers who are older than 40 can get you fired
bingethinker explained that a remote started in a manual transmission car was installed incorrectly
pkjun knew why being "nice" doesn't get guys laid
pueblonative made a point about a guy who has the same name as a man who stars in adult videos
Glockenspiel Hero discussed how much of a badass Harriet Tubman was

CSB Sunday Morning: Stories from the playground
Smart:
Recoil Therapy shared a story about an improbable snowball fight
Funny: Eeek taught classmates about the pendulum effect

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: TotalFarkers voted for a Fark logo option that Blythe gave them for Fark gear
Smart: Badafuco posted a photo of a custom quilt that was made by another TotalFarker
Funny: merrillvillain complimented the above quilt
Funny: Jake Havechek suggested another phrase to put on Fark merchandise
Funny: Brawndo had a warning about the "before" photo of a TotalFarker's refinished desk
Funny: generalDisdain shared news of a fun new dating app

Politics Funny:
Garza and the Supermutants found someone who's concerned about Donald Trump's health
North_Central_Positronics predicted how Trump might react to what Pelosi said about his angry tweets
Gubbo explained why it's not a big deal if Ruth Bader Ginsburg one day can no longer perform her duties on the Supreme Court
mainsail diagnosed President Trump's medical problem that spurred a visit to his physician
OdradekRex was not surprised by the X-ray released by the Trump campaign

Politics Smart:
FlashHarry listed six quick observations about Trump's health
Benevolent Misanthrope feared Trump's presidency will cause lasting damage
mrshowrules suggested a strategy for Democrats running in 2020
kevlar51 asked a question about Mitch McConnell's complaints about Nancy Pelosi
Egoy3k discussed "beta males"


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Captain Scratch showed some outmatched Jawas
hail2daking gave an example of early innovations in housekeeping
RedZoneTuba finally gave a famous cat its own house
Stephen_Falken spilled beer on the servers
RedZoneTuba was reminded of a past relationship... with a droid
Sensei Can You See gave this observatory its missing companion
RedZoneTuba formed a strange Beach Boys tribute band
zeon found some kids who don't mind Venice flooding
TrollingForColumbine discovered someone who can snort more than Montana
RedZoneTuba showed how things could have been worse for Han Solo

Captions:
FortyHams let us know what Gordon Sondland's expression was communicating
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha revealed what this UNIX aficionado is thinking
RedZoneTuba thought that the UNIX guy had something else on his mind

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 759: "Monovember - Old Timers" ended in a tie between  Elsinore's photo of a lovely Victorian mansion and USAF Retired's picture of a cat that looks like it might be inside that mansion. Next week's Farktography theme is Giving Thanks (link is accessible only to TotalFarkers until Thursday), so start getting photos of what you're thankful for ready.

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

A fun time on the Quiz last week, even though the 1000 club remains empty. Denjiro came out on top with 964, followed by Evildog in second with 939 and Drachirryz in third with 924. EBens and poorjon tied for fourth with 912, and zuffenphile rounds out the top five with 908.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over which Nativity character role in elementary school was correlated with the highest average salary later in life among Brits. Only 15% of quiztakers knew that it was actually oxen who had the highest salary. I'm pretty sure that this is a case of correlation rather than causation, as oxen are usually played by tall boys, and tall boys generally become tall men, who for some reason tend to make more money than women and short men regardless of the occupation. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over what kind of critters went on a cocaine bender in the Italian woods when they happened upon a drug gang's stash. 81% of quiztakers knew that it was feral hogs the local distributors would be trying to explain to their bosses about. When asked about the incident later, a feral hog denied any affinity for the drug, but did confess to "liking the way it smells".

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which brand was causing a bit of a stir with their "I ❤ GBV" branded items, made to recognize their Italian designer Giambattista Valli. Only 41% of quiztakers knew that it was H&M who employed the designs of Mr. Valli. Gucci famously uses only in-house designers rather than commissioning works such as those by Mr. Valli, who remains an independent operator.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new movie Dr. Sleep and its origins. 87% of people knew that the book was based on the Stephen King novel of the same name, which was a sequel to his classic "The Shining". Fortunately for the actors involved, Stanley Kubrick wasn't at the helm this time, so there will be fewer psychological scars. Also, a lower box office take.

Congratulations to the winners, and be sure to check out this week's Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Take that, Mrs. Butler!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-11-19 2:14:00 PM (46 comments) | Permalink

Well, butts and farts have been in the news -  in political news, no less -  so that's how we're going to head into 2020. I remember back when I was a wee monkey, and my second grade teacher, Mrs. Butler, scolded me for my immature sense of humor, but it's serving me well these days. And being too mature would be a real liability when reading some very strange conversations among the Fark moderators as they try to figure out things like, "Does that snowdick need a NSFW warning?" 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast: a quick dive into the world of Flat Earthers, fun with a bucket of poop, and Todd's dreaming of a White Christmas for Drew (sort of).
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FortyHams was not going to fall for an invitation to take a survey
Pocket Ninja warned us about retirement communities and confections
FirstNationalBastard showed a heartfelt reaction to Jimmy Fallon's ratings drop
MycroftHolmes asked Farkers not to rush to judgement of a cop's treatment of a teen with no arms or legs
jjorsett condemned Japanese businesses that forbid female employees to wear eyeglasses at work
PC LOAD LETTER helped someone who wanted a better look at a photo of a woman in glasses
Mr. Coffee Nerves knew what type of a guy a pastor who's accused of abuse looks like
Prank Call of Cthulhu illustrated a conversation about workplace discrimination
UberDave backed up someone's statement about alts
hobnail gave a legitimate answer to a question about who to listen to when landing a 727 with a gear warning

Smart:
feckingmorons found one instance of alleged discrimination to be particularly stupid
Hoban Washburne found one main reason for the prevalence of bullpoop jobs
Prevailing Wind wanted us to hate people for the content of their character
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat explained different generations of people attacking each other
FlashHarry thought a reviewer was missing an important point about "The Mandelorian"
Tchernobog explained why there are laws against people in a position of trust having sex with those under their care or counsel
Gubbo pointed out yet another advancement that we owe to the adult movie industry
kbronsito showed us why it's a compliment to be called a "Karen"
Gordon Bennett noticed probably the worst part about a business that sells blood transfusions from young people
Benevolent Misanthrope defended naming a new hypercar "Owl"

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: IvyLady gave advice to a submitter who was curious about skin care
Smart: Chris Ween had the obvious answer to a question about monotony monogamy
Funny: merrillvillain shared a story that just raised more questions
Funny: Schlubbe showed that sometimes a sentence is appropriate both with and without a comma
Smart: Chris Ween didn't believe part of a submitter's crappy story
Funny: croesius reminded Farkers that when someone shares, you should reciprocate
Funny: Dr. Tuttle had something to sell

Politics Funny:
bloobeary took a guess as to why Donald Trump had an early medical exam
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That reacted to what Chuck Woolery talks about when he's not talking about Trump
scottydoesntknow had a suggestion for Jim Jordan
North_Central_Positronics knew why Trump went to see his doctor
FortyHams defended Trump's interactions with Ukraine

Politics Smart:
naughtyrev offered Trumpish proof of innocence
Daniel Boone's Farm discussed Jimmy Carter's character and legacy
SuburbanCowboy brought up the history between the Trump family and a man Donald Trump claims he doesn't know
weddingsinger discussed concern about the stock market
Jack Sabbath discussed Fox News using Marie Yovanovitch's mention of a Benghazi attack victim against her


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Somaticasual made a Fark tag for fishy threads
markie_farkie found a clue as to why this space capsule was so difficult to move
hail2daking wanted slightly more variety in Oompa-Loompas
hail2daking spotted a very determined chickenhawk
Kick The Chair discovered that Richard Branson's luggage checks him
markie_farkie left the Leeloo maker running
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel showed a reality TV show star's first erection
Snubnose invented a musical instrument that sounds better than bagpipes
zeon made Rod Stewart's model train just a little too realistic
Herb Utsmelz cancelled a special delivery
RedZoneTuba offered help to those who are architecturally confused

Captions:
hugram knew what had Nikki Haley looking so concerned
RedZoneTuba was impressed by a chessboxing move

Farktography:
henryhill won Farktography Contest No. 758: "Monovember - Monochrome" with a Midtown corridor

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Upcoming Fark Parties

See Farkers up close in their unnatural habitats 

Thursday, November 21: D.C. Fark Party with HacDC in Columbia Heights

If you'd like to plan a Fark Party in your area, please use the Fark Party submission form.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's quiz, where we were able to defrost ourselves enough to wonder why the leaves hadn't even changed when we're suddenly under snow, ice, and bitter cold across most of the country (except SoCal, so phooey on those people). On the Quiz itself, FrancoFile gets exclusive access to the fire roaring in the 1000 club with a score of 1045, followed by leafslinger in second with 996 and WereBear666 in third with 975. Lamberts Ho Man takes fourth with 962, and Cardinal Ximenez gets in out of the cold for fifth place with 942.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over the "last necklace made by Neanderthals," Archaeologists in Spain discovered jewelry in the latest known encampment of Neanderthals from 39,000 BC, just before the species died out. Only 27% of quiztakers knew the necklace was in fact made of eagle talons. They say Diamonds are Forever, but come on, 41,000 years is pretty good for dead animal bits. So quit acting all weird when your loved one gives you a chicken bone bracelet.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over an enterprising college student in Minnesota who was making a trek over to neighboring Iowa and selling hard-to-find food at a huge markup. 90% of quiztakers knew that people were paying top dollar for a-few-hours-old boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts. No word about the coffee, though.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over which streaming provider was actually giving away cardboard boxes with leg holes in a contest. Only 40% of quiztakers knew that it was HBO Max who somehow felt this was a contest college students would think was worth entering, because there's nothing worse than laying on your bunk watching John Oliver on your phone while your roommate is trying to peek over your shoulder. I mean, that's just - is this some commentary of the desperation of Gen Y? Seriously? Cardboard boxes as the top prize in a contest?

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which actress sold off her "Bad Sandy" leather pants and jacket costume for charity. 93% of quiztakers recognized the name of the character from the 1978 classic Grease, which meant the correct answer was Olivia Newton-John. Unfortunately, no word on John Travolta's pink "Good Danny" blouse and skirt from the cut scenes. 

Congratulations to the winners, and don't forget to check out this week's Weird News Quiz, where I relate the dangers of night photography in the rural South.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Watch this video of Fark's Server Monkey going bananas
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-11-12 12:19:49 PM, edited 2019-11-12 12:38:34 PM (39 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Mike:  
________________________ 

Howdy.  Mike the Server Monkey here.  As y'all probably know, I migrated all of our infrastructure to two cloud providers back in July.  Not without a few hiccups, mind ya, but obviously I've got it sorted out now.  Thanks for your patience there.

Since then, we've been trying to unload all of our old hardware. The old Fark firewalls are here on eBay now and the rest of the Fark equipment is still for sale on this page.  I'd reeeeeally like the 19" rack cabinet out of my garage, but don't have a vehicle to transport it with....

Back in July, one of you requested: "I am interested in purchasing some of your old hardware only to watch you destroy it in an uploaded video, Think "Office Space." I know it'll be therapeutic and no one has to pay for shipping."

Well, as it turns out, some of the stuff is just too old to sell - Core 2 Quad Q6600 systems from 2006.  Two of the motherboards died, one in January and one in June, and part of why I rushed through the cloud migration so fast in the first place is out of fear the other identical boards would die soon.  So there wasn't much point in trying to sell 13-year-old unreliable gear.  (The stuff we are still selling is somewhat newer, and still works great.)

So, to make a short story way too long, on Sunday, those antique servers went to a very remote spot in a zero-stoplight coal town in rural Appalachia, and got introduced to a sledgehammer and four video cameras.  We'll recycle the scraps unless anyone wants some mangled motherboard parts as Christmas tree ornaments.  (My wife kept one southbridge heatsink for that.)

Here's the video of me destroying the obsolete Fark servers. (Be sure to watch to the end.)

And some stills from the old Fark server demolition.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

This week on the Fark & Schnitt Podcast: "Daddy's Little Slut" kids' T-shirts may have been removed from Amazon but there's still plenty other off color Xmas merch to buy.  Plus hear all about Drew's adventure wearing a #freehongkong shirt courtside at a Warriors home game last week.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
AdmirableSnackbar found the perfect GIF to show Hide the Pain Harold and his wife when his meme brings in money
leeksfromchichis analyzed a statement from a woman who set mouse traps on her lawn because dogs were pooping there
khatores tried to one-up a man who has 700 pounds of beef per year to share with the right woman
Barfmaker shared a reminder of the real golden age of television
Munden was alarmed by a home invasion story
gunther_bumpass showed what happens when there's confusion about female anatomy
OldJames learned nothing about women or opening links in private windows
scottydoesntknow explained how people end up getting hit by trains
Shostie was overwhelmed at the prospect of 700 pounds of beef
Walder_Frey felt that a movie description was relevant in a discussion about a Minnesota man who resold Krispy Kreme doughnuts from Iowa

Smart:
Unobtanium explained standing in the aisle as soon as the plane gets to the gate
Sid_6.7 wanted special treatment for air travelers who check all their luggage
nmrsnr gave a reason to be wary of new business models
OK So Amuse Me discussed parents who inappropriately control their adult offspring
Mycroft_Holmes_IV shared important information about a guy who used a battle axe to fight off a home invader
ImpendingCynic suggested that humans should be the space aliens with the probes
adamgreeney was proud to have a part in a customer beating off two home invaders
WilderKWight had a fantastic rant about old people and their lawns
TwilightZone let us know what's really "a girl's best friend"
Dryad discussed the evilness of De Beers

CSB Sunday Morning: It happened at a party
Smart:
Someone Else's Alt had a big going away party before going off to the Navy
Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village and a sheriff learned each other's side of what happened a high school party the sheriffs had busted up years earlier

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Ponzholio answered the question, "A hot guy appears. He has abs, a great head of hair, and a huge johnson. What do you do?"
Smart: Drew gave a concerned TotalFarker a glimpse into the future
Smart: Eclectic sent out some love to the TotalFark community
Smart: generalDisdain thought a Farker ran for the wrong office
Funny: 433 discussed the common '70s and '80s childhood experience of finding a certain kind of magazine in the woods
Smart: Dr. Tuttle spoke of romance
Smart: italie suggested not raking your leaves

Politics Funny:
mrshowrules was tired of fake news
ArcadianRefugee figured out what Donald Trump plans to do if Jeff Sessions runs for Senate again
SurfaceTension guessed at how someone was able to obtain user data from a defunct white supremacist website
ox45tallboy knew how Stephen Miller met his fiancee, Katie Waldman
vrax found that Eric Trump didn't prove what he thought he proved

Politics Smart:
ceejayoz made a prediction about what will happen in Kentucky since Matt Bevin lost reelection
not enough beer pointed out that Alex Jones is messing with a judge who has dealt with people violating her orders before
Xai decided to humor Trump's demand that the governor of California "'clean' his forest floors"
cameroncrazy1984 thought of how the whistleblower against Trump might handle a subpoena from Republicans
SurfaceTension thought that Republicans were being hypocritical


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave a space bartender a new chapeau
RedZoneTuba found a great deal on campaign merchandise
Alligator got ready to ride The Molar Express (sorry)
zeon attended a B.Y.O.B. (bring your own bucket) party
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave a well-known diner a new look
Alligator showed us why this woman has such big guns
Iggie found a bad place to fall asleep while working on your tan
hail2daking caught a cow's wandering eye
Yammering_Splat_Vector demonstrated what a difference a little blue pill can make
hail2daking gave The Avengers a vintage look

Farktography:
CiliarySpasm won Farktography Contest No. 757: "Orange 3" with some crunchy maple leaves  

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

It's too cold to work, so crank up the space heater under your desk or bury yourself in the blankets and take the Fark Weird News Quiz.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: When the shirt hits the fans
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-11-05 11:42:20 AM (27 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hello everyone!  Hope your week was great!  Mine was a little weird. After making fun of police warnings about kids getting pot candy for trick or treat on the Fark & Schnitt Podcast for the past month, we had to record a round-up episode for this week of all the actual incidents - including one where a man blamed his 3-year-old for dropping razor blades in the candy he was handing out.  Whoops. I don't think any of the pot incidents were necessarily as they appear, as I explain on the show. Check it out.  

Speaking of the podcast, I'll be going into this in greater detail on the next podcast episode, but this past Saturday my friend Cyan and I pulled a fun stunt.  She discovered a kickstarter a few weeks ago raising money to buy "Free Hong Kong" T-shirts to hand out at a future Warriors game. Being a fellow punkass, she decided to up the ante by not only backing the kickstarter, but by wearing the "Free Hong Kong" shirt while sitting in the front row of the game - and she was gracious enough to invite me to go with her.  

When we got to the game, we realized there was a problem - our backs were facing the cameras.  Luckily there was an easy fix for this - as you can see on the video Cyan tweeted out later.  Strangely, for some reason Charlie Kirk later retweeted the video mistakenly thinking we were at a Lakers game, which I think speaks volumes about his observational prowess in things other than sports, but I digress.

Anyhow look for a full recap next week.  I'm going to a San Jose sharks game tonight wearing my "Free Hong Kong" shirt, but I don't have seats anywhere near the front row.  If anything weird happens though, I'll be sure to update.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
bighairyguy saw the bright side for a troll who claimed he could beat any female fighter and turned out to be wrong
GardenWeasel shared one of the hazards of being a short man
Thrag explained why a U.S. Air Force space plan looks so old
LesserEvil showed off a personal home theater
guestguy gave an interesting reason for considering "Asterisk" as a possible name for a daughter
mrwknd had an idea of where a list of "rare" baby girl names came from
Ginnungagap42 knew something about a list of girls' names
beezeltown thought that another Farker might be wrong about kids having gastric bypass surgery
The Pope of Manwich Village figured out what a baby whose gender reveal party killed someone will be named
Candygram for Mongo was unimpressed with the name "Tabii"

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
RolandTGunner answered a question about subways in 1904

Smart:
Ass_Master_Flash had a message for Generation Z
Hubris Boy had an opinion about what someone who blames their dog's death on their spouse should do
meg12279's kid won Halloween this year
alizeran channeled Jerry Garcia
Dead for Tax Reasons showed why a curb that people keep getting stuck on can't just be removed
bughunter explained why spacecraft often seem low-tech
skyotter pointed out something about a city commissioner who cited her Christianity as a reason to be wary of a Day of the Dead celebration
meg12279 told us about having a mysterious experience shortly after the death of a loved one
saintstryfe discussed what it took to lose over 200 pounds
Bondith explained why someone died at an explosive gender reveal party

CSB Sunday Morning: Excuses for being late
Smart:
Someone Else's Alt's employee missed work because of a horrific family tragedy
Funny: Someone Else's Alt showed the boss evidence that a story for needing to miss work was actually true

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat knew how to be petty when returning an ex's baking supplies
Funny: merrillvillain defended a submitter who claimed to not have any friends
Smart: generalDisdain pointed out that a visitor to a TotalFarker's home asked a good question
Funny: Dr. Tuttle gave very specific reasons for posting in TotalFark Discussion
Funny: KangTheMad made an alarming confession (yes, I saw where some of you decided to vote this one up for the NotNewsletter)

Politics Funny:
poconojoe shared a favorite passage from Robert Mueller's interview notes from the Russia investigation
optikeye heard something other than "lock him up" chanted at a World Series game
The Perineum Falcon showed where Donald Trump really was during the Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi raid
Marcus Aurelius chastised people who mocked Trump's border wall
bobtheme promoted a Fox News show

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
fiddlehead made a very emotional "Welcome to Fark" animated GIF

Politics Smart:
NeedlesslyCanadian asked a question about the Mueller report
NewportBarGuy gave reasons to believe that Barack Obama is not a narcissist
Gubbo wondered if there was more meaning in the House's vote on impeachment procedures
FormlessOne had a theory about why the jumbotron at the World Series showed the military, then the Trumps, then the military again
weddingsinger argued that Trump undermined his own accomplishment


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
zeon showed why football helmets are so important
hail2daking had to deal with trying to feed a picky baby
noazark collected extremely rare Star Wars action figures
Yammering_Splat_Vector had "fun with body parts"
noazark figured that U.S. Navy uniforms should look more nautical
noazark decided to paint some light around a spooky house
noazark found help for when the moon hits your eye like a big pumpkin pie
Alligator brought some beer from overseas
RedZoneTuba found some encouragement for a pouting president
cyberspacedout turned Churchill into a subprime minister
Iggie ate a very bitter little dumpling

Be sure to check out the top-voted entries from the annual Fark Pumpkin Carving Photoshop Contest and the bowl of candy corn Photoshop contest

Caption:
Devolving_Spud figured that Fiat Chrysler and Peugeot would merge to become a very lonely company
Devolving_Spud also suggested a fancy French name for Fiat Chrysler-Peugeot
RedZoneTuba thought that Fiat Chrysler-Peugeot could go with a literary reference

Farktography:
CiliarySpasm won Farktography Contest No. 756: "Halloween 10" with an elderly Halloween icon

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

The new Fark Weird News Quiz is up and ready for quizzing here, so go give it a shot.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Our Halloweenness, let us show you it
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-10-29 10:50:36 AM (55 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Happy Halloween week!  Also known in Colorado as "good luck finding THC treats in your kids bags because ain't no one giving $2 candies out."  My neighborhood always goes nuts on Halloween - we've got three haunted houses, tons of kids and candy, and at least one drone pilot who attaches a 50-foot tow cable to a ghost and chases people up and down the street with it.  We've got a bunch of Halloween discussion threads on deck, many dating back years, so see below for a full list of those.

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast, we talk about the intersection of skid marks and geopolitics, boobs at the World Series, and exactly why TikTok is a national security threat, which should come in handy when arguing with your crazy relatives around the Thanksgiving dinner table next month.

One other thing to watch for: If all goes well, I'll be sitting courtside at the Warriors home game on Nov 2nd wearing a Free Hong Kong shirt.  Shhh, don't tell anyone, I don't want to get kicked out. More on that next week.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Here are this year's Fark Halloween threads (times listed are Eastern):
Sunday Morning Music Club: the creepiest, scariest, and most unsettling songs to help you get into the proper holiday spirit - This thread is closed to new comments, but there to enjoy
With Halloween coming up, what's your favorite food to make with pumpkin innards?
Photoshop this popular Halloween treat
What was the best, coolest, creepiest or funniest Halloween costume you ever saw on a trick-or-treater?
Photoshop theme: rejected pumpkin spice products
Farktography Contest No. 756: "Halloween 10" - Available only to TotalFarkers until one minute past midnight when Halloween begins, then open to everyone
Annual Fark Pumpkin Carving Photoshop Contest - Available only to TotalFarkers until 9 a.m. on Halloween, then open to everyone
Show off your Halloween decorations and costumes - Will be available only to TotalFarkers beginning on Wednesday morning, then will be open to everyone starting at midnight when Halloween begins
Fark's annual spooky story thread - Will be available only to TotalFarkers beginning on Wednesday morning, then will be open to everyone starting at midnight when Halloween begins

And here are all the previous spooky story threads from each year since it started: 
2004    2005    2006    2007    2008    2009    2010   2011    2012    2013    2014    2015    2016   2017   2018

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FrabjousDay noted that the implosion of two cranes after the collapse of an under-construction hotel could've gone worse
Gordon Bennett described changes made to a Celine Dion album to conform with Iranian censorship laws
Unobtanium shared a story about the implosion of part of a uranium processing facility
revrendjim pointed out that it's stupid to have a mechanic rotate your tires
Benevolent Misanthrope figured out who Heidi Klum was really trying to be, but she overdid her Halloween costume
eurotrader was surprised that a certain beloved actor is still alive
TomTudbury shared a photo of an upside-down crane
TomTudbury knew exactly what fell out of the sky and into a house
Prank Call of Cthulhu discussed the supposed differences in men's and women's communication styles
stan unusual showed a pair of emergency workers calling in about a crane impaling North Rampart Street

Smart:
40 degree day shared information about battling opioid addiction
swamp_of_dumb advised young adults whose parents want to use a phone app to control them
vudukungfu thought that a Christian rapper's criticism of the new "Addams Family" movie overlooked something more disturbing
Marcus Aurelius had a message for mechanics who change tires
mchaboud had a theory on the identity of a mysterious home intruder
pkjun summed up temper tantrums complaining about "forced diversity" in entertainment
edmo responded to snooty directors' criticism of superhero movies
Eclectic discussed the effects of conversion therapy
pkjun explained the increase in diversity in films
Target Builder described the alternative to a 19-hour flight

CSB Sunday Morning: The dream that came true
Smart:
carkiller made a dream that first seemed like a fantasy come true
Funny: gordian was fascinated by the wharrgarbl

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread where Farkers share stories based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening (if you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies), or email dugitman

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: CommieTaoist gave an example of a time when TotalFark Discussion changed the world
Smart: Dr. Tuttle gave advice about dating multiple people
Funny: maddan explained the creepy behavior of the leaves in a Farker's neighbor's yard
Funny: flucto reacted to a breakout loin discussion
Funny: merrillvillain was confused by a dating app
Smart: Literally Addicted showed off some home improvements

Politics Funny:
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That was ready for the National Prescription Drug Take Back Day
Sorelian's Ghost came up with a way to remember the day Republicans stormed the secure hearing room
The Perineum Falcon provided a transcript of Mick Mulvaney being questioned about his interview with Chris Wallace
Therion gave a reason why Hillary Clinton should stop making fun of Donald Trump
Sgt Otter had another way of describing Tulsi Gabbard's complaints about the impeachment inquiry depositions

Politics Smart:
Therion gave a reason why Hillary Clinton should stop making fun of Donald Trump
cameroncrazy1984 noticed something in a thread about something Hillary Clinton tweeted
mrshowrules predicted what will happen if Adam Schiff's ineptitude continues
Benevolent Misanthrope discussed how Republicans defend themselves
Sgt Otter had another way of describing Tulsi Gabbard's complaints about the impeachment inquiry depositions


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba imprisoned a blob for the enjoyment of others
RedZoneTuba put that woman imitating a cow in a photo
Yammering_Splat_Vector figured out the first thing to do with a small mystery object
Cork on Fork demonstrated what can happen if you don't keep your child on a leash
RedZoneTuba brought out one of Fark's favorite dancers
Snubnose gave these water witches some cool company
Cork on Fork found out what happens if you never clean your windows
Herb Utsmelz revealed what's really in the Federal Reserve Bank of New York's gold vault
Iggie showed us where candy corn actually comes from
RedZoneTuba witnessed the arrival of a strange incoming flight

Caption:
fsufan showed what it's like when an interviewer recognizes you from a TV news report

Farktography:
Circusdog320 won Farktography Contest No. 755: "Wallpaper This 3" with a beautiful sunrise. Be sure to check out all the entries for some great wallpaper images for your doohickey screens.

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

The latest Fark Weird News Quiz is up and ready for quizzing here, so go give it a shot instead of getting back to work!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Revenge is a dish best served in the danger zone
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2019-10-22 12:03:36 PM (40 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week is starting out great.  Last week, we did demo version 2.0 for a new ad unit to TotalFarkers.  We're going to run a test on it Wednesday, most likely. It's a video ad unit with a big X on it, shouldn't cover anything up on a regular screen size.  BareFark subscribers will continue to wonder what I'm talking about, which is why you should consider signing up for BareFark today! And TotalFark for heads ups on things like this.  

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast, we talk Florida meth strippers, ghost pepper roulette pizza, and I admit I haven't seen "The Godfather" - among other famous movies.  We may talk more about that next week. We started going down the list of movies I haven't seen, and there are quite a few surprising ones on there. Like "Top Gun." I noticed this last week when Disney+ released its launch lineup and I realized I hadn't seen most of them - yet.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Comment Votes

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FirstNationalBastard ... um... celebrated Dawn Wells turning 81
Carter Pewterschmidt saw an interesting example of the visible effects of heroin and meth
Pocket Ninja revealed where to get the highest quality macaroni and cheese
Hey Nurse! told us about the beautiful woman who will be visiting soon
Jesus McSordid advised us on how to keep your Birth of Venus statue from offending people
toddalmighty had encouraging words for a woman who was injured by an airplane propeller
beggindog misread whose account had been hacked
brap let us know how it went when the man who was the original voice for Charlie Brown was in court
2BuckChuck's grandmother's phone that she leased from the phone company likely broke a record
jbc helped another Farker out with a misunderstanding about movies for mommies and daddies who love each other very much

Smart:
MillionDollarMo took a side in the battle between the flying dagger butts and cuddly disease vectors
TomFooolery noticed someone was backing up police officers' decision to arrest people for loitering outside their own home
AngryDragon determined that  a cop should not have used a real gun in a particular circumstance
adj_m pointed out that people who were arrested for loitering were arrested for loitering
Tad_Waxpole was disappointed that Natalie Porkman didn't choose a different name
ruudbob shared a frightening story about being on a jury
skozlaw explained something that even some wealthy drug addicts don't understand about addiction
ArkAngel took a guess at why NBC Universal theme parks make owners of "unlimited refill" cups wait 10 minutes between refills
edmo knew of one way in which targeted ads work
thrillbilly1967 shared a great story about meeting Dolly Parton

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: meat0918 advised a Farker on dealing with a bad neighbor
Funny: Old Man Winter revealed two favorite hobbies
Funny: ThomasPaineTrain was inspired to write a book
Funny: croesius could tell that a U.S. government agency was trying to trick TotalFarkers
Funny: merrillvillain wanted to be sure that everyone on TotalFark understood the question
Funny: merrillvillain shared a story about addiction
Funny: Roman Fyseek knew something about stealing from the elderly

Politics Funny:
capt.snicklefritz pointed out why a video altered to show Donald Trump killing his critics wasn't such a big deal
TomTudbury cleared up a misunderstanding about Trump's letter to the president of Turkey
shastacola showed one person's reaction to listening to Trump's entire meeting with Italian President Sergio Mattarella
Calypsocookie found that part of Trump's letter to Ergodan was left out when it was shared with the press
relaxitsjustme showed one of the effects Trump's policies are having on wildlife

Politics Smart:
BizarreMan had a theory on why House Democrats have not held a vote on the impeachment inquiry yet
Cubansaltyballs saw something revealing in Trump's tweet about not having the 2020 G-7 summit at his Doral resort
bloobeary had an idea for what the Scottish government should do with Trump's golf resort if he won't pay his legal fees
styckx gave advice on identifying U.S. battleships
wademh commented on a report from the State Department about Hillary Clinton's private email server


Contest Votes

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
verchad showed President Trump looking quite content
I_Am_Weasel needed a good time
Alligator stretched this cat's porthole
retrophil gave this dirty kitty a rigorous cleaning
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out how evil cats are punished
Alligator revealed how record players work
Herb Utsmelz showed Carnac the Magnificent's reaction to a mix-up at the millinery shop
hail2daking discovered that Dr. Frankenstein got tired of robbing graves
hail2daking showed Albert Einstein playing with himself
Fiction Fan spotted Donald Trump's latest appeal to the public

Captions:
PainInTheASP decided that this marmot tried to distract a predator with the ol' razzle dazzle

Farktography:
CiliarySpasm won Farktography Contest No. 754: "Our Bodies Ourselves 2" with an implied threat

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.
· · ·


Newest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Oldest


Continue Farking




On Twitter




In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.