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Fark NotNewsletter: What are Fark's Thanksgiving plans? Aside from "try not to lick each other"
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-11-18 2:53:30 PM (82 comments) | Permalink

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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Everyone stay safe next week, looks like enough folks are throwing caution to the wind that we're gonna have a Covid Xmas. Try not to lick each other.  Speaking of, I'm considering maybe livestreaming from my kitchen on Thanksgiving, or at least doing an open-invite Zoom call with TotalFarkers - sign up today!  What could possibly go wrong?

A quick heads up - we tested out a video ad unit a few weeks back and it went pretty well, I think we were able to handle the concerns a few folks had.  Next week rolls into Black Friday / Cyber Monday / Hangover Tuesday and we're gonna run it at least a week to catch some of the wave there.  We've replaced their generic news items with some best-of clips from the Fark News Livestream, and it'll run audio-off, so hopefully that'll work fine.  If anyone has any issues with it, please either buy BareFark or TotalFark, both of which are a no-ads experience, or if your finances are tight contact us and we'll give you a complimentary membership.  FWIW, it's already been running in our Top Clicked / Commented widget for the past two months (currently off, btw), we're just changing up the placement.

5 p.m. today (and most days) - we have the Fark News Livestream.  The news cycle is super weird today. We've got flamethrower action, things to not do with a toothbrush, Spike Lee's next pun-inspiring project, offensive mushrooms and more.  Haven't seen it like this in awhile.

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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Comments about Alex Trebek's death dominated the voting results this week, as he was such a beloved and respected figure in so many people's lives. Here are the top-voted smart and funny comments about the sad news.

Funny:
HighlanderRPI looked on the bright side when a kid found a gun in the medical bag he brought to school
BumpInTheNight was not terribly helpful when I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed what it's like to have a certain problem
whither_apophis knew what made these Ents start wandering down a hill
SoupGuru thought the trees were leaving for a different reason
Altimus Prime learned something new about bathrooms
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That pointed out how much YouTube can change your life
Altimus Prime revealed how God created Gritty
kbronsito was ready to buy an F-4 Phantom jet
FirstNationalBastard became inspired by a catchy phrase
englaja had experience with gout

Smart:
BlueGinger had good reason to be angry with people who aren't following health guidelines
toraque considered possible reasons people with mental illness are more likely to be diagnosed with COVID-19
orezona's girlfriend now has a disability due to having survived COVID-19
darkhorse23 learned important things when Ruby Bridges walked to her first day at William Frantz Elementary School
Kilted_Dude had big plans for Friday the 13th
Forty-Three discussed the differences between tiny homes, cabins and trailers
Aussie_As shared an example of the supposed war on Christmas being used as an argument for denying equal rights
2fardownthread had insights on how tiny homes and other things end up getting a bad reputation
aimtastic got sick from someone not wearing a mask correctly

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Thanks to everyone who participated in the Farketplace thread, whether you were a buyer, a seller, or a browser. There are so many smart and talented Farkers - stop by and have a look at their shops and services. 

CSB Sunday Morning: That one great teacher
Smart: TwowheelinTim's mom was a great teacher and more
Funny: Recoil Therapy had a substitute teacher on the worst day

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Murflette shared a sweet memory for Veterans Day
Smart: Candygram4Mongo advised on how to find out the value of your shares in a company
Funny: flucto explained why the windows and floor were rattling
Funny: CommieTaoist advertised a medication called Moderator
Funny: generalDisdain was unimpressed with whatever caused shaking in the Northeastern United States
Funny: discgolfguru knew why someone stole the plot of a TV show for a headline
Funny: 10.0.0.1 explained why a Farker's package went from Oregon to Tennessee instead of California

Politics Funny:
naughtyrev defended the name "Million MAGA March"
styckx figured out the real reason the White House lawn was dug up
OldRod witnessed election fraud
PaulRB invited us to embark on a mental exercise
FirstNationalBastard considered the Constitution as it pertains to the Supreme Court choosing a president

Politics Smart:
raerae1980 addressed concern that red states could have difficulty seating Biden electors
NateAsbestos defended Trump's lack of visible aging while in office
NateAsbestos figured that there would be another consequence if Republicans were allowed to steal the election for Trump
Pocket Ninja examined all of Trump's big plans for the next four years once he gives up on trying to take the presidency
grokca made an observation about Biden's lead in several states


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
bugdozer showed the president being treated for COVID-19
Cork on Fork proved the moon landing wasn't faked on a Hollywood sound stage
Terrapin Bound had a beer with the guys
Wrongo discovered another political event that took place at Four Seasons Total Landscaping
Herb Utsmelz brought some live music
Circusdog320 showed us a setup that's unlikely to go as planned
RedZoneTuba spread fake news
Circusdog320 found a journalist with another big scoop
noazark knew someone else who stopped at the Four Seasons while passing through Philadelphia
Yammering_Splat_Vector had a really big cone

Fartist Friday: Haikus about kindness and goodwill
ajgeek wrote about a small amount of money making a huge difference

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Design a logo for the year 2020 using any medium

FarktographyAdventures
Squid_for_Brains gave us a beautiful view of Telluride

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and it seems that somehow many of us followed news that wasn't about the election. On the Quiz itself, isamudyson took the top spot with 1017, and will be joined in the 1000 club by TwoHead with 1005. M-G made third with 997, followed by Megateuthis with 992, and bobbelieu finished in the top five with 960.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over which UK country had banned corporal punishment for children. Only 40% of quiztakers knew that the wee bairns'll be safe from ae fleecin' nae matter how mooch the little shytes deserve it in Scotland. Personally, I think child discipline has improved with technology, as now the wifi password is the true key to getting your children's attention.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which state has now decriminalized hard drugs such as cocaine and heroin. A full 87% of quiztakers have already made travel plans to Oregon, where the punishment for getting caught is a fine, and even that is waived if you go for drug treatment - which is far cheaper on society than prison. This has worked out well for other places that have tried it, and usually results in a *lower* rate of drug use in the long run, so don't count on easily finding a dealer once you're there.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the new partnership with Mountain Dew and NBA player Joel Embiid. Only 41% of quiztakers knew that a limited run of 500 bottles of "Joel Embiid's Hot Habanero" will soon be available for those who want their cup-o-noodles to taste like artificial citrus. But a mere 500 bottles? I mean, what's the point? Go big or go home - stick that stuff on every grocery store shelf right beside all those weird flavors of PopTarts that keep appearing and cause me to believe that PopTarts had some say in getting drugs decriminalized in Oregon.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about actress Lauri Laughlin and what she's actually now in prison for. 87% of quiztakers knew that Aunt Becky was now serving two months for Conspiracy to Commit Wire and Mail Fraud for her actions relating to bribing college admissions personnel to get her kids in certain schools. I'm placing good odds on a six-figure book deal about her experiences in the pokey and the friends she meets along the way.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
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Fark NotNewsletter: Farketplace is open, HotY is coming, your zipper is down
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-11-12 12:11:22 PM, edited 2020-11-12 12:37:38 PM (45 comments) | Permalink

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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Thanks everyone who dropped by our first attempt at an election night livestream on Twitch.  I heard many positive things about it, glad everyone liked it.  I ended up standing for five hours or so while we did that.  We'll probably try to livestream major events in the future, especially ones where talking heads don't add much, such as the inauguration etc.

Also of note, if you get a chance, check out our Farketplace thread - tons of Farkers are selling stuff in there, and given that Xmas is coming right up, it's a good time to check out what's going on there.

A heads up for December - we've been working on redesigning the Headline of the Year process, because currently it's hugely labor intensive.  This year, instead of doing individual months, I'm going to personally pick all the finalists and we'll vote for those.  We're hoping to have a recurring and more streamlined Headline of the Month process going forward in 2021.

Finally, we changed the price of TotalFark back in the summer, and since then, TotalFark subscriptions have renewed at the old levels.  We'll be ending this sometime next week, moving to the current pricing of $8.33/month - which will require manual authorization.  Keep an eye out for notifications along those lines if your TotalFark is set to renew soon.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
ZAZ answered a question about boobs and books
Cheesehead_Dave shared a photo of today's most popular redhead
Shostie warned us about a horrible thing that happened while wearing a mask
nanim showed us how building a house from a concept design for a five-story cliff house would turn out
GRCooper asked a personal question about pee
Cagey B could see the appeal of building a house that hangs off the edge of a cliff
Teri reacted to an article about a woman who has given birth to 15 children
I Ate Shergar questioned Sean Connery's taste in movies
revrendjim agreed with this Farker
sithon had one question about the new female 007

Smart:
Sid Vicious' Corpse pointed out how dangerous protective masks really are
I Ate Shergar questioned Sean Connery's taste in movies
markie_farkie figured there's another person who's well chuffed about a whale tail sculpture stopping a derailed train from plummeting to the ground
ArkAngel looked at the odds of winning a lawsuit against a school for not allowing a child to wear a "Jesus loves me" mask
Stantz shared information you'd think be obvious, but apparently isn't
hobnail named careers in which workers are always suddenly dropping dead
ShavedOrangutan shared a fan theory about some of Sean Connery's movies
Private_Citizen knew who else enjoys emptying Bitcoin wallets
The Googles Do Nothing had a suggestion for someone deciding between collecting a pension or taking a lump sum

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: JerseyTim's dog impersonated the great David Bowie (with awesome photo)
Funny: olapbill answered someone asking Farkers how they put their belts on
Smart: generalDisdain had a nice surprise for the missus

Sorry I don't have more TFD comments this week - there were so many threads about the election, but I don't include those from TotalFark Discussion since we already have a politics section, and ain't nobody asking for more politics. 

Politics Funny:
bloobeary explained why Donald Trump supporters shut down the Mario Cuomo bridge
GardenWeasel figured out why Trump stopped demanding a recount in Wisconsin
thatguyoverthere70 decided to protest when we got to our tenth election discussion thread
bobtheme didn't want us to let election results make us forget to do the most important thing
Naido called out another Farker's foolish gamble

Politics Smart:
August11 mentioned knowing some selfish hypocrites
Driedsponge looked at how Joe Biden was doing in the election results as of Wednesday morning
Jack Sabbath had a suggestion for what Biden should do if Mitch McConnell tries to block his cabinet picks
GardenWeasel figured out why Trump stopped demanding a recount in Wisconsin
jayhawk88 had thoughts on what will happen in the future if people try to do things like those who stopped the Biden bus did


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
noazark found the little guy steering the little boat
RedZoneTuba had an a-ha moment at the art gallery
Alligator decided the price is right to go on a hike
kabloink asked us to join the red side
Herb Utsmelz took two hecklers to a socially-distanced show
opalakea revealed HAL's secret
noazark combined two little Photoshop contests
Fiction Fan found the ugliest mountain in 12 parsecs
GoodDoctorB gave this model a tumble
FarkingIceHole showed us a very bad rally
Cork on Fork followed instructions and put a butt in the seats

Captions:
For Caption this candy shower:

Grumpy Cat had something to say to these trick-or-treaters

Fartist Friday: Add nachos to a classic work of art
Famishus kept us fed with The Persistence of Nachos

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of World Kindness Day, write a haiku about goodness, goodwill, caring. We could all sure use some right now

FarktographyBlast from the past
This contest ended in a tie between inelegy's old church building (so nice it was posted twice!) and USAF Retired's 8-track tapes and biatchin' helmet

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz, which we kinda needed after that stressful week. I'm still a bit unsure on the protocol for eating your kids' Halloween candy, though. On the Quiz itself, Seussie came out on top and gets the keys to the 1000 club with a score of 1008, followed by dallylamma in second with 919 and Datanerd in third with 913. whither_apophis made fourth with 908, and Yellow Beard finished out the top 5 with 900.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which toy the Etch-A-Sketch people were looking to add to their stable of time wasters. Only 33% of quiztakers knew that it was Rubik's Inc. they were looking to take over. I'm imagining the possibilities of a combination Etch-A-Sketch/Rubik's cube and I'm thinking I could just draw the colors on each face so I wouldn't have to figure out how to sort them back out. Although then I'd have to learn to use an Etch-A-Sketch, so I guess maybe not.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which Soviet Premiere was in charge during the Cuban Missile Crisis. 85% of quiztakers knew that it was Nikita Khrushchev who tried to put nuclear weapons on mainland Cuba back in 1962. The ships carrying the weapons were blockaded by the US Navy under orders from President Kennedy, and eventually the Soviets backed down. Good thing all that's sorted out nowadays and we're all best friends, right?

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about Hormel's newest flavor of its Black Label "premium" bacon. Only 46% of quiztakers knew that Hormel now has created blasphemy against all that is holy with their new "ranch" flavored bacon. Apparently the teenage girl demographic has been woefully underserved in the bacon market to this point, and they hope to move in on this lucrative new opportunity with this group of people who never buy their own food. Well, good luck, I guess.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new animated short "Once Upon a Snowman" now streaming on Disney+. 86% of quiztakers knew that it was based on the story and characters of the "Frozen" series, and also fixed a small plot hole by showing that Anna had paid Oaken for her supplies in the first movie by selling her coronation dress. Because that one apparently bugged everyone more than how Anna found her hat after being tossed down the stairs by Marshmallow.

If you missed out on the Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here.

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
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Fark NotNewsletter: Do you know people who make and sell things? Tell them about this
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-11-04 2:27:35 PM, edited 2020-11-04 2:33:15 PM (40 comments) | Permalink

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A message from DisseminationMonkey:
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And here I am, stuck in the present with you. 

I don't know if that had the Stealers Wheel vibe I was going for, but that's what I was going for. Anyway, here are the goods:

First, a reminder that the Farketplace thread is coming up next week! So beginning on Saturday, November 7th for TotalFarkers and Monday, November 9th for all Farkers, you're invited to link to your Etsy, eBay, Amazon or other online storefronts to sell your goods in the Farketplace thread. There's more info about the Farketplace in last week's Fark NotNewsletter. So get your online shops ready, and/or prepare to buy some cool stuff from your fellow Farkers. 

Second, Halloween was on Saturday, and we had our traditional Fark Halloween threads. It sucks butt that holidays are all jacked up this year, but at least we were still able to have our Fark Halloweenness. Here are the links to this year's Halloween threads:

Sunday Morning Music Club - spookiest songs of all time
Halloween Woofday thread
Annual Fark Photoshop jack-o-lantern pumpkin carving contest
Halloween Caturday thread
Fark's Annual Halloween scary story thread

And here are all our previous Fark spooky story threads from each year since the tradition started: 
2004   2005   2006   2007
2008   2009   2010   2011
2012   2013   2014   2015
2016   2017   2018   2019

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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
kryptoknightmare said goodbye to Sean Connery
Mike_LowELL fondly remembered Sean Connery
Rucker10 had an innocent reaction to a video about the meaning of the phrase, "Ye cannae tak the breeks aff a hielan man"
Vacation Bible School wanted to know that Sean Connery got the best care
WoolyManwich figured out what news NASA was going to reveal about the moon
cman felt a little jealous
Alphax pointed out the most impressive thing about some kids' Transformers Halloween costumes
born_yesterday dropped a truth bomb about the new coronavirus variant
Autoerotic Defenestration showed us the flavor of each color of Necco Wafers
radiovox shared what it's like processing returns for Amazon

Smart:
edmo considered the idea of not being charged when a child finds your gun and accidentally shoots himself
ginandbacon described still experiencing lasting effects months after having COVID-19
DarnoKonrad looked at some of the problems with the "don't make any effort" method of dealing with viruses
Alphax pointed out the most impressive thing about some kids' Transformers Halloween costumes
MillionDollarMo learned that something you'd think would be obvious apparently isn't
TWX discussed being a parent of a child with Down syndrome
big pig peaches gave a couple of legitimate reasons for your neighbors to complain if you don't maintain your yard
W_Scarlet shared a story about waiting on really horrible customers
optikeye had an idea for a legal strategy for a Spectrum customer who smashed a cash register with a crowbar and took some money
Monty_Zoncolan possibly figured out why a man refuses to take care of his property

CSB Sunday Morning: That one time at a wedding
Smart: Otera's mom traveled a long way to make it to the wedding
Funny: Recoil Therapy saw an innocent woman get dragged into her husband's sibling rivalry

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: feckingmorons knew why someone was arrested for setting her arm on fire by smoking while putting gas in her car
Funny: Brawndo submitted a complaint about a TotalFark Discussion thread
Funny: Fonty Usement discovered a suggestive message while viewing this thread on a mobile device
Funny: Chris Ween replied to someone asking if it's better to start a divorce before a second round of stimulus payments are approved
Smart: middleoftheday had a strong opinion about refusing to share your awesome recipes
Funny: gunther_bumpass reacted to a concern about eating RGB food

Special FarkStaff Pick: Madstand shared photos of an impressive lava lamp collection. This is a fun thread, with the pics, funny comments, and even some educational stuff about lava lamps.

Politics Funny:
wet drum sandwich had something that could influence the election
wademh experienced a tragedy that's relevant to Donald Trump's new proclamation
thatguyoverthere70 told us what Melania Trump was up to
BizarreMan had a question about the Hunter Biden laptop narrative
cman reacted to information about the amount of coronavirus found in wastewater

Politics Smart:
Ken S. figured out what "Big win for our very elite U.S. Special Forces" Trump was going to announce
wejash thought Texas Trumpers harassing a Biden bus and forcing them to cancel events seemed familiar
OldRod saw reason to believe Joe Biden had a chance of winning Texas
Professor_Doctor summed up why Biden's popularity was growing
Pocket Ninja suggested starting with a no tolerance policy for law enforcement officers


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
noazark subverted expectations of what She-Hulk would look like
noazark scooted on over to the dark side
noazark found someone who does not appreciate manipulative flowers
opalakea witnessed a miracle
hail2daking showed us a swan that's about to jump the shark
Yammering_Splat_Vector fed the ravenous lily pad
RedZoneTuba had a special place for this clock
noazark was about to get 007 years bad luck
Yammering_Splat_Vector prepared this cat for a long journey
#2 gave us something completely different

Captions:
From
Caption these opera singers:
hugram heard a familiar plea for help
From Caption these two lions:
Grumpy Cat's user name checked out
stevenboof found out that the big cats are working together
From Caption this primate:
Snubnose knew why this macaque looks so smug

Fartist Friday: Halloween limericks and chill
hebrides warned us about the possibility of a very 2020 Halloween
eyeq360 wrote and illustrated a story about a woman with killer hair

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of National Nachos Day on Friday, class up a work of art with some nacho goodness however you like  

FarktographyAutumn 6
Pope Larry II brought us to a gorgeous yellow forest. Be sure to check out the entire thread for a lot of beautiful photos.

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although there's still no consensus on what to do with all the leaves. On the Quiz itself, Monty_Zoncolan took top honors with a score of 922, followed by Denjiro in second place with 846 and leafslinger in third with 811. Redh8t made fourth with 746, and i.r.id10t took fifth with 744.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what the "Science of Scare Project" deemed to be the scariest movie of all time, based on pulse readings of audience members. Only 26% od quiztakers knew that the 2012 Ethan Hawke vehicle "Sinister" took top honors. And seriously, if you haven't seen it, it really is that creepy.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which famous John was arrested in 1982 in a DEA sting for conspiracy to obtain and distribute an ungodly amount of cocaine. 78% of quiztakers knew that it was automaker John DeLorean who was accused of making a deal to traffic 55 pounds (apparently the metric system hadn't been invented yet) of the powder in a last-ditch effort to save his company. Although he was able to convince a jury that he was set up, but still failed to get the financing he needed to keep his company going. I like to think that somewhere out there is a DeLorean DMC with $80 million worth of coke under the back seat still driving around somewhere.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which country music icon got her own statue in front of Nashville's Ryman Auditorium just in time for the 50th anniversary of her first appearance at the Grand Ole Opry. Only 46% of quiztakers knew that it was Loretta Lynn who made her debut on the stage back in 1970, and that Dolly Parton had actually beat her to the punch by appearing with her father way back in 1969 at the ripe old age of 13. I'm personally still unclear about why there are statues of anyone who is not Dolly Parton in Tennessee, but that's just me.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new "McBroken" app and what it can tell you. 87% of quiztakers knew that it was the go-to app if you wanted to know which McDonald's around you had a working ice cream machine so that you could get your McFlurry on. Still no word on up-to-date tracking of the elusive ice cream machine repairmen who somehow work their magic nightly but do not appear on McDonald's payroll.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: A chance for Farkers to make some dough and get cool stuff, plus a new thread milestone
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-10-28 2:39:12 PM (48 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from DisseminationMonkey:
________________________

Five years ago, Drew gave us a space for a "Fark Bazaar" thread where we invited our brilliant and creative Fark community to post links to their online stores so we could all score some awesome stuff at each other's businesses. Well, we're doing it again, but this time we're calling it "Farketplace." Beginning on Saturday, November 7th for TotalFarkers and Monday, November 9th for all Farkers, you're all invited to link to your Etsy, eBay, Amazon or other online storefront to sell your goods. It can be pretty much anything legal: handmade décor, jewelry you made, scarves you knitted, hand-sewn footie pajamas, quilts, photography, artwork, hand-blown glass dragons, antiques... whatever fits. 

We've always known Farkers are a creative bunch, and some of the amazing examples seen in the Fartist Friday threads have been a great reminder of that. Just remember that links to your personal sites are only allowed within the Farketplace thread - linking elsewhere will be considered spam and will dealt with accordingly. Please note that Fark is not taking a cut or charging for this in any way.

Everyone's having a tough year, and we figured it would be a good idea to enable Farkers to help each other get that bread before the winter holidays. So stock up your online store and be ready to post photos, descriptions and links to it in the Farketplace.

Obligatory disclaimer: Fark will not be responsible for any transactions or other events to arise out of the Farketplace thread. Your shopping/selling will be considered off-site activities and Fark will not monitor or intervene based on those activities.
________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

We're in the final week of the busiest pre-election news cycle I've ever seen.  It's been fast paced for awhile now - since 2016 it's felt like triple time, and yet somehow this week it's ramped up even higher.  The good news is we're seeing some of the good old weird stuff that is very much pre-2016 Fark. Here's hoping for more in the future.

Thread 11,000,000 snuck up on us out of nowhere and posted overnight - appropriately it was a TFD thread about whether centaurs are sexy or not.  Have a wrong opinion on the subject? Jump into the thread and tell us.

The swear jar feature is still in progress - other stuff has jumped in the way, in particular preparation for the traffic crush we're expecting on election night.  It's still coming, just getting bumped a bit.

In other news from last week, the new ad unit test went well. We'll be running another test lasting about a week, then we'll make a final decision on whether we're keeping it or not. TotalFark and BareFark subscribers won't be able to see it as usual.

Today is the first Fark News Livestream of the week.  Normally we don't wait until Wednesday for the first livestream, but I felt a little feverish Monday morning and decided to quarantine to protect Heather and the kids.  I'm getting tested later today. We'll be back with a new livestream at 5 p.m. either way because either I'll test negative or I'll move the livestream stuff up to the room I'll be living alone in for the next two weeks.  We've got a huge backlog of news to get through.  Also - we may attempt an election night livestream Tuesday as soon as we figure out what format to try.  Let us know if you've got any ideas or suggestions there.
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
NewportBarGuy was impressed by Badmoodman's connection to Ireland Baldwin
Pinnacle Point took a guess at the name of the pastor who peed on a fellow airplane passenger
Glitchwerks identified with what a typo in a Fark headline claimed led to a shooting in a Sam's Club
skyotter disagreed with an assertion about Farkers' reactions to a fire chief eating sushi off a naked woman
NikolaiFarkoff summed up Ireland Baldwin's "I voted" sticker pasties
NewportBarGuy saw something familiar about a man who threw a racist tantrum on an airplane
Begoggle commented about the racist Burger King flyer's planned destination
I Ate Shergar noticed a guy's very particular requirements in his dating profile
TWX pointed out an interesting turn of events
theflatline shared an Ambien story

Smart:
Daniel Boone's Farm shared a relatable story about pandemic fatigue
aimtastic felt pretty uptight about sleepwalk peeing
Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste pointed out what an article failed to mention about Sinead O'Connor's SNL appearance
Mr. Coffee Nerves predicted that one American tradition will go on as usual this year, but with a twist
itsaback shared a tanker driver's perspective of the truck driver who drove through a crowd of protesters in Minneapolis back in May
Pinche Mateo gave an example of people "finding" relics from Jesus being nothing new
koder had some ideas of how airlines can get back to international travel
Otera let a kitten tell its story
Chthonic Echoes put a three percent mortality rate in perspective

CSB Sunday Morning: Halloween party stories
Smart: Auntie Cheesus crashed a party, insulted someone, and made a scene
Funny: Recoil Therapy spent Halloween surprising people who came to the door

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Otera is helping a kitten with help from Farkers (with adorable photo)
Funny: OneFretAway admired The Third Man's new toy
Funny: The Third Man gave a warning if Omegle doesn't sound appealing to you
Smart: Madison_Smiled has a really sweet mom
Smart: OneFretAway assessed a situation where a Farker was waiting to be reimbursed for flying out to an interview
Funny: Ass_Master_Flash was alarmed by where this conversation was going
Funny: Ass_Master_Flash recommended a divorce lawyer
Funny: KangTheMad described yet another dangerous thing that kids these days are doing

Politics Funny:
Farking Clown Shoes pointed out the reason some Farkers might not want to celebrate young people showing up to vote
I Ate Shergar continued the line of thinking expressed in Donald Trump's tweet
bloobeary had a theory about what's going on with Mitch McConnell's hands
mrshowrules knew about another odd thing that happens to Fox News analyst Gregg Jarrett
The Googles Do Nothing explained why Trump had to cut his interview with Leslie Stahl short

Politics Smart:
NeoCortex42 questioned the judgement of Trump's inner circle
mrshowrules offered advice from Canada
cretinbob talked about the members of the U.S. Marshals' task force that killed Michael Reinoehl
Pocket Ninja discussed the differences between Trump and George W. Bush
EmmaLou argued for investigating and prosecuting Trump and his team


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound preferred sports over music
hail2daking forked up the hiking trail
#2 brought back a familiar foe
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out this cop is not interested in lollipops
kabloink changed up Trump's makeup
noazark made an artificial intelligence that fits in your pocket
noazark had the hottest ride in Toontown
noazark did some light remodeling
RedZoneTuba designed new uniforms for the tennis team
Mojongo found a pervy cat living in a hotel

Captions:
From
Caption this puma cub getting an exam:
Devolving_Spud had the cub recounting the story later
From Caption this dog getting a ride:
Driver knew that the pup had other things on its mind
From Caption this inter-species faceoff:
RedZoneTuba had a warning for the curious cetacean
Grumpy Cat saw that the dolphin was leaving
Grumpy Cat figured that the dog wanted to escape

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Volume 4
Patmaniac showed us "Desire of Man" and told us how he came to be

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Halloween Limericks and Chill. Write a spooky limerick about Halloween and illustrate it using any medium you like: Photoshop, MS Paint, pen and paper, macaroni glued on a board, etc.   

FarktographyFrom Above
CiliarySpasm showed us what it's like to look down on people

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another good time on the Quiz this week, although no one knows how to sort out the junk mail issue. On the bright side, that stuff does provide revenue to the Post Office, which could certainly use it. On the Quiz itself, Blackstone gets the top spot and keys to the 1000 club with a score of  1017, followed by rudemix in a distant second with 924 and Enigmamf in third with 919. Data came in fourth with 918, and Sebas finished out the top five with 914.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over this year's Nobel Prize in Economics, and how the winners had contributed to our understanding of supply and demand. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that they had done major studies in the field of auctions and how to create nontraditional auctions for things difficult to sell, such as radio frequencies, maximizing the benefit to taxpayers. If only they could tell me what to do  with all these Beanie Babies.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about what our friendly neighbors to the north were celebrating on October 12th. 80% of quiztakers knew that Canada celebrates their Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October, where I assume they gather in their igloos and share roast moose and poutine before falling asleep on the couch with a hockey game on. Since their Thanksgiving is more of a harvest celebration, it does make more sense to have it at the harvest time rather than weeks later when everyone is snowed in.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about what fast food joint famous for the number of chickens they slaughter actually received an award from PeTA - for best vegan chicken sandwich. Only 57% of quiztakers knew that KFC has been quietly selling a "vegan chicken" sandwich since August 10. made from plant-based Lightlife vegan chicken, As of now, Popeye's has no plans for their own vegan offering, probably because they haven't yet found a recipe that people will kill each other over, which seems to be the basis of their marketing.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new show on Food Network hosted by Tony-award winner Kristin Chenoweth. 93% of quiztakers knew that despite the use of the name in Quentin Tarantino's "Django Unchained," "Candy Land" still had enough goodwill from our childhoods to evoke memories of cutthroat competition among 7-year-olds and no real edible candy at the end for the winner. Let's hope Kristin can keep the contestants pacified with a song or something.

If you missed out the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: We are altering the timeline. Pray we don't alter it any further
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-10-21 2:11:43 PM (60 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey, everyone.

Friday got away from me last week, so we'll be having a conversation on TotalFark about the Swear Jar this Friday instead.  Same goes for the new video ad test - looks like we're aiming for Friday because there's a debate Thursday, which makes it probably not the best time to run any kind of meaningful tests.  

Speaking of the debate, we did a test run of a livestream of the dueling town halls last week and it went really well - so well that we'll be livestreaming the Thursday debate as well.  So definitely join us on my Twitch channel for that if you can!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Officer Barrelroll answered a man whose wife claims they can't hug or have sex because of the pandemic
khitsicker showed us what an owl that escaped a wildfire by getting in a helicopter mid-flight had to say
thedumbone considered one of the problems with a nude Medusa sculpture
Richard Freckle explained why one might join Nextdoor
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes told us why it's surprising that a woman told her husband they can't have sex because of COVID-19
optikeye shared a story about receiving the royal treatment at Disney World
The Pope of Manwich Village made an inspirational image featuring an optical illusion tattoo
cyberspacedout was driven to song by a COVID-19 outbreak at a Sweet 16 party
PunkTiger knew there'd be no point trying to track down the owl that took a helicopter ride
grokca pointed out what the character of Deanna Troi was often used for
LewDux noticed that somebody had sharp knees

Bonus FarkStaff Picks:
ReluctantLondon described the tiniest violin
Rapmaster2000 had a really crappy time in San Francisco

Smart:
Znuh discovered a solution to the "cat on the laptop" problem
skatedrifter shared a story about a creepy encounter while camping
Pocket Ninja gave more context for a viral video showing a protective mountain lion
standardeviation's wife discovered a code word neighbors use to disguise their racism
eurotrader gave advice to a Farker whose house flooded from Hurricane Delta
Nadie_AZ pointed out that some whining CEOs are largely to blame for the thing they're complaining about
bayoukitty told us about dealing with a flooded home
Giant Clown Shoe described learning on Nextdoor how awful many of the neighbors are
dr_blasto did not have good things to say about Five Finger Death Punch

CSB Sunday Morning: The theater
Smart: Auntie Cheesus worked hard to get a set done perfectly
Funny: xanadian blew everyone away at the premiere

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Snaps saw a lot of benefit from one invention in particular
Funny: middleoftheday figured that a question was submitted to the wrong tab
Funny: Ass_Master_Flash showed us a foolproof way to keep from getting the coronavirus
Smart: Badafuco shared the rule about putting cabbage on tacos
Funny: rosekolodny had something for the STEM tab

Politics Funny:
vudukungfu took advantage of a great reward Soup4Bonnie mentioned for Joe Biden voters
sithon thought that Donald Trump was barking up the wrong tree with his dog whistle promises
grokca added a California problem that Trump forgot to mention in a tweet
Lambskincoat demonstrated fierce loyalty to Trump
The Googles Do Nothing thought that Trump's town hall on NBC should've started with a dramatic reveal

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
HighOnCraic knew why Rudy Giuliani didn't contact law enforcement as soon as he was offered dirt on Hunter Biden

Politics Smart:
aaronx had a theory on what allows some people to speak more eloquently than others
Joe USer adapted a speech from Fred Rogers for Mercedes Schlapp
BizarreMan pointed out that Republicans aren't even cheating right
Courtney Cox-Zucker suggested a slightly different message for Trump supporters
snowblur answered Trump's question, "VOTE FOR TRUMP, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE!!!"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
noazark found a new place for Homer to disappear into
opalakea ruined hot dogs for everyone
sgleason818 thought that these ruffles look very familiar
Yammering_Splat_Vector used a pattern to make a dress
kabloink proved that herding cats is not impossible
Mojongo showed that somehow the Germans figured out this tank's weakness
Thrakkorzog found out why this flight was delayed
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us that it's not only bears that are Catholic
FarkingIceHole brought a celebrity-branded side dish to the picnic
Wrongo discovered that Waldo is hardly even trying anymore

Fartist Friday: Pasta
RedZoneTuba made a delicious canned deity

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 4. Show us a work of art you've made, and Tell us the story behind it. Difficulty: Art you haven't posted in our F'artiste contests before.  

FarktographyI See Your Point 3
This one ended in a three-way with Merltech's bondage tree, beerrun's prickly pachypodium and Herb Utsmelz's funky-ass spider

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, but, like the Highlander, in the end there can be only one. And an endless number of sequels. bud jones takes the top spot this week with the sole ticket to the 1000 club with his score of 1003, followed by Spidery_2k in second with 959 and The Third Man appropriately in third with 943. ThunderChild takes fourth with 941, and Walker comes in fifth with 927.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over what you could no longer grab while you're waiting at the supermarket checkout line in Berkeley, CA. Only 46% of quiztakers knew that the city had banned junk food including sodas, packaged pastries, and candy bars from the immediate area of checkout lines. That's great if you have hangry and bored kids with the "I wanna candy bar," not so much if you're single and it's cheat day. But it also means you can get some additional exercise when you have to leave the line and go hunt down the Twinkies that used to be right there.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was actually a geography question. 90% of quiztakers knew that the Kamchatka Region, home to pristine beaches and black volcanic sand, could be found in Russia. Well, formerly home to pristine beaches - they're having a bit of an ecological crisis there at the moment, with tons of dead sea critters washing up. Perhaps soon they'll be sending political dissidents there to suffer with the odor of dead jellyfish.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over the late Kenzo Takada and his contributions to world culture. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that he had spent his life in the fashion industry, creating the Kenzo brand of haute couture in France 50 years ago. You may be familiar with the somewhat popular tiger face sweatshirts from the early 2010s - although Takada himself did not design him, they were a product of his company.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the "new" product Edy's Pie. 90% of quiztakers knew that this was the new name chosen for the classic Eskimo Pie, synonymous with ice cream truck runs when I was a kid. And no, Sweden's GB Glace will not be changing the name of "Nogger Black," a variety of their popular "Nogger" bars named for their slang term for "nougat." The Black variety has a licorice shell instead of the usual chocolate covering the ice cream and nougat center, so I can't for the life of me see how it's still selling regardless of the name. I mean, licorice? Seriously? I guess maybe it gets them used to Jägermeister at an early age.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here

Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Tab changes, dirty words, and trying out a new unit
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-10-14 1:40:32 PM, edited 2020-10-17 10:24:42 PM (83 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Busy week last week. 

Last Friday on TotalFark, we had a great conversation about the SwearJar feature.  This coming Friday on TotalFark, I've got more info to share about it, in particular we've got some SwearJar UI questions and I'd like to share where we are on that.  Input will be welcomed, and again if you'd like to join the conversation about this and other upcoming Fark features, join TotalFark and we'll see you on Friday!

Monday we completed some tab changes, namely splitting out Geek into Fandom and STEM.  So far it's been going great; I especially appreciate the uptick in Fandom submissions.  A couple of open questions have popped up around topics that might belong in two tabs, in particular:

·   Does car stuff go in STEM or Fandom?  Seeing a lot of submissions to Fandom. We can also cross-post to both. 
·   TotalFarkers have suggested that perhaps wrestling belongs in Fandom and not Sports, however we can cross-post to both.

Coming possibly as soon as tomorrow, we've got a video ad unit we're going to test for 24 hours.  Unfortunately, it's one of those box video ads (audio off) that rides down the right-hand side. On the plus side, they may allow us to run best-of clips from the Fark News Livestream content in there so hopefully it's less lame.  BareFark and TotalFark subscribers won't see this of course, because no-ads is part of the subscription. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
jonjr215 made a rude comment about Dolly Parton possibly posing for Playboy for her 75th birthday
Circusdog320 figured there's only one reason anyone would wear this ugly, expensive dress
naughtyrev noticed one phenomenon in particular in a colorized video of a snowball fight in 1896 France
TWX helped when someone asked to see the selfies from two university students who fell from a four-story rooftop while taking selfies
mcsiegs shared a story about getting suspended in seventh grade for wearing a tasteless shirt
nitropissering found out where such an old fashioned dress style came from
Optimus Primate thought that one of Eddie Van Halen's theories maybe didn't stand up to scientific scrutiny
brap was willing to wait for Dolly to appear in another magazine
Naido's hopes were crushed
JerseyTim thought a priest's threesome on a church altar sounded familiar

Smart:
Man On A Mission pointed out just one of Billy Porter's gorgeous outfits
brantgoose had a pretty good explanation for why Black men are disproportionately targeted by law enforcement
vicejay shared advice on what you should and shouldn't do if you want to help after a disaster
naughtyrev noticed one phenomenon in particular in a colorized video of a snowball fight in 1896 France
AdmirableSnackbar cited evidence that police were never really like the good guy cop characters from old TV shows
madgonad argued for the actual best album of the '80s
a particular individual gave a lesson in punctuation
GRCooper summed up how a home became covered with purple splotches
mrwknd argued that the IRS is not about to royally screw Prince Harry

CSB Sunday Morning: Tales from the woods
Smart:
Salted Metal Honey had a terrifying run-in with a wild beast
Funny (tie): chewd pulled off an impressive feat
Funny (tie): Unobtanium accidentally brought home some souvenirs from a Boy Scout camping trip
Funny (honorable mention): ChrisDe ended up in the Fark park

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: GardenWeasel shared some excellent news
Smart: flucto made two adorable additions to the family and posted an update and another update
Smart: Solty Dog made a suggestion for Fark's upcoming swear jar
Funny: Brawndo had big plans for the swear jar
Smart: Eclectic made a mouth-watering dessert

Politics Funny:
OldRod had questions about Mike Pence's change in plans
bdub77 stated the most shocking thing about a call Donald Trump had on Sean Hannity's show
OldRod described what Pence did the day after his debate with Kamala Harris
Mike Pence's Head Fly explained stealing everyone's attention during the debate
Mike_LowELL demanded an apology

Politics Smart:
Man_Without_A_Hat gave a professional analysis of Trump's post-hospital balcony performance
Serious Black fit most of the traits of someone you'd expect to be Republican
Kat09tails found new evidence of just how abnormal things have become
gilgigamesh predicted what could make Trump replace Attorney General William Barr
Calypsocookie considered what it might be like to be a political conspiracy theorist


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba was ready for Saturday night
Herb Utsmelz gave us a Disney film remake nobody asked for
Hirightnow found out that it's Ming-Na Wen time
kabloink proved that Donald Trump has completely recovered from COVID-19
RedZoneTuba made the Dead come out on Halloween
RedZoneTuba turned a president into a king
X-Geek took this dance to a meadow
west.la.lawyer created a confusing scene
#2 went to pick up some supplies
FarkingIceHole attended a dangerous event

Fartist Friday:  Fall into fall
nanim sent out the bat signal

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Celebrate National Pasta Day with an homage to Pastafarianism. Using any medium - Photoshop/MSPaint/real-life items/etc ​-  create a tribute to the Flying Spaghetti Monster  

FarktographyRule of Thirds, the Second Helping
inelegy captured a beautiful rural sunset

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time on the Quiz next week, although I wasn't able to expand my woefully inadequate repertoire of cow jokes. We did get two people in the 1000 club, where this week we'll be showing the same movie Drew and Dallan will be watching on the Twitch Livestream Friday night. On the Quiz itself, FrancoFile came out on top with 1037, followed by WoolyManwich in second with 1005 and catmander in third with 989. Mztlplx came in fourth with 954, and Denjiro rounds out the top five with 941.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over the 19th century figures James Wallace Black and William H. Mumler. Only 31% of quiztakers caught the article and knew that both were professional photographers. Black was the first man to capture an aerial photograph, and later attempted to discredit Mumler and his "spirit photographs". Mumler would capture photographs of people with their dead loved ones appearing in ghostly images in the frame, most famously of Mary Todd Lincoln with the image of Abe appearing behind her. Whatever method Mumler used for this, he did wind up later using his talents for good and invented the first practical way of transferring photographs to newsprint, although probably not with the assistance of the ghost of Benjamin Franklin.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which major fast food chain was deemed by the Supreme Court of Ireland to be serving their sandwiches on something other than "bread". 91% of quiztakers knew that it was Subway whose "pastry confections" were deemed to have too high a sugar content to count as "bread", so were to be taxed at a higher rate. For a company that went with the marketing of "we're healthier than traditional fast food", this (and their unfortunate choice of spokesperson) are probably not helping to promote that image.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was a comic book question. Only 55% of quiztakers knew that the characters Ryan Wilder and Kate Kane were alter egos to DC's Batwoman. After Ruby Rose declined to return to the show to play Kane in Season 2, writers decided to go with a different iteration of the character instead. Hopefully this will free up Ruby Rose to find John Wick 2 level roles instead of more schlock like The Meg.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which artist has now surpassed Whitney Houston's record as the woman with the most weeks at #1. 91% of quiztakers knew that Taylor Swift's new album had bounced back to #1 the previous week, thereby giving her the honors. I'm sure she celebrated this milestone with a night out on the town with her newest boyf- oh, wait, they broke up already. That's a shame.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Tab changes and a swear jar? On my Fark?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-10-07 12:21:45 PM (122 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Looks like we'll be making some changes to some of the Fark tabs. We're splitting out STEM as its own tab and replacing Geek with Fandom.  STEM is for the science and technology stuff, Fandom is for pretty much anything that might show up at a comic con.  If anyone's looking for some greenlights, we could use some more submissions there once the change takes place.  It'll either be later this week or early next, keep an eye out.

Upcoming feature: swear jar.  The Fark filters on naughty words started as an in-joke, but over the years people have pointed out that they should be able to swear on occasion if they really really want to.  We agree, however the filter's become a legacy holdover from the days of the early internet, and it does more on the Fark backend than just filter out swear words so we can't get rid of it.  Meanwhile, a ridiculous feature suggested by TotalFarkers is that maybe we could allow people to swear via a swear jar.

This Friday, I'll be asking TotalFarkers for input on what words should be swear jarable.  We think Carlin's Seven Words is probably a good start, but what else should be on the list?  Keep an eye out for the TFDiscussion link appearing Friday, and if you're not currently a TotalFarker you can sign up for TotalFark and join us!

Today's Fark News Livestream goes out at 3 p.m. Eastern, check it out at my Twitch channel.  We've had to trickle in a little politics here and there, but luckily the news cycle has somehow had time for a little weirdness on the side.  In particular, today we cover Whatever Happened to Ken Bone, and what compensation you're due from the government if it turns out your father was actually a deep cover government operative who took off once the job ended. And more!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Petey4335 had a feeling that a photo that captures a rock climber's falling glasses in midair is authentic
SpectroBoy wasn't too sure about a plan to foil employers' monitoring software that screenshots employees' computers
capt.snicklefritz has a list of "people to punch" that includes children and Rick Moranis
Theaetetus found an example of an article's description of posture that indicates flirting
propasaurus shared a bit of trivia about  a "Last Week Tonight" segment dedicated to former coal mining CEO Bob Murray
The Minstrel Boy agreed with an assessment of a kindergarten teacher who's completely covered in tattoos
cameroncrazy1984 made an announcement when New England Patriots quarterback Cam Newton tested positive for COVID-19
Farking Clown Shoes taught us something about properly expressing ourselves when finding out a man who fought against protecting miners from black lung now has it himself
Naido described the kind of person who would shoot two people for bringing him a hamburger with mayonnaise on it
koder knew how to keep from getting into trouble for having a BB gun showing in your bedroom during an online class

Smart:
Boondock3806 interpreted the "Thin Blue Line" flag
hubiestubert discussed tactical napping
Spaceballer's login checked out in a thread about an attack on Rick Moranis
propasaurus shared a bit of trivia about  a "Last Week Tonight" segment dedicated to former coal mining CEO Bob Murray
t3knomanser defended Gene Roddenberry's opinion that there should be no interpersonal conflict in the 24th century
HugeMistake pointed out that some mishaps don't need to be seen as a huge mistake
Joe USer gave some helpful advice for your pork facials
jvl shared some tips for people who are new to camping
cartersdad came face-to-face with history in a Walmart

CSB Sunday Morning: What's the coolest thing you've ever found while exploring?
Smart: hubiestubert hid out in a German bunker
Funny: Fear the Clam discovered a very useful stamp at the law office
Funny (honorable mention): The Pope of Manwich Village showed us an awesome dragon egg

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny & Smart: Brawndo replied to a submitter who's living with a freeloading slob who now claims to be too sick to work
Smart: eyeq360 shared a work of art
Smart: chucknasty explained why, even though we're all tired of it, you need to hang in there and keep wearing masks
Funny: croesius learned that sometimes the disgusted is actually the disgusting
Funny: mikaloyd accidentally posted an important password
Smart: vegas_greaser had faith that we can all power through this

Politics Funny:
WayneKerr supported Donald Trump during this difficult time
Tranquil Hegemony shared a public service announcement after Trump's COVID-19 infection was revealed
gunga galunga overheard a fourth voice at the presidential debate
grokca let us know how one politician was handling Trump's diagnosis
Diogenes shared one COVID-19 symptom Trump didn't have to worry about

Bonus FarkStaff Picks:
HerptheDerp showed what the presidential debate threads were doing to the Fark servers
thatguyoverthere70 wrote a fantastic American Christmas poem

Politics Smart:
Diogenes shared one COVID-19 symptom Trump didn't have to worry about
Ginnungagap42 was shocked at what ended up being the cause of our downfall
Devolving_Spud figured Trump will continue to get his beloved high TV rankings even after he leaves office
markie_farkie thought there could be more behind Trump's debate performance that just his usual personality
RyansPrivates gave reasons for hoping Trump fully recovers


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
kabloink showed the white nose of regret
RedZoneTuba found out why the call it The Nutcracker (sorry)
Yammering_Splat_Vector knew that what the next presidential debate really needs is more energy
RedZoneTuba accidentally made a handy copy
#2 couldn't make it any more obvious
RedZoneTuba hilariously proved that the internet has ruined us all
Bumcheese would've gotten away with this if it hadn't been for these meddling kids
kabloink gave these chicks some threads to complete their look
opalakea was hanging out with the peeps
RedZoneTuba tucked the kids in for the night

Fartist Friday: Write a poem celebrating vodak and/or tacos AND illustrate it using any medium
nanim revealed the ingredients of a Farker's diet

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: "Fall into Fall": Create an art project with an autumn theme using Paint/Draw/Photoshop and real-life things like colorful leaves and glittery corn  

FarktographyLuminous
beerrun captured a sneaky sunbeam in Upper Antelope Canyon

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and hopefully some folks will take my advice and see the 1991 Sylvester Stallone farce "Oscar" when given the opportunity. A pity that no one will do so on the big screen in the 1000 club this week, as I guess I made last week's Quiz a little too hard. Gravitationally Challenged came out on top with 914, followed by WoolyManwich in second with 910 and tiezane in third with 898. FrancoFile made fourth with 852, and runwiz finishes out the top five with 830.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over Hasbro's newest corporate partnership with their Yahtzee brand. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that you could now get a new Yahtzee set containing a replica of the Nissin Cup Noodles Styrofoam container, an iconic piece of American office breakroom trash. Because there's nothing more American than cheap, empty carbs laden with salt in a non-recyclable container. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about death threats in corporate governance. 90% of quiztakers knew that it was founder of Costco Jim Senegal who once threatened to kill the current CEO if he raised the price of the stores' hot dog and soda combo from the $1.50 he had set it at decades before. I really, really wish he'd gone into major league baseball management instead. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was over which musician just had herself turned into two different figurines now available at Target, as well as a... (checks notes) signature ukulele from Fender? Anyway, only 55% percent of quiztakers knew that it was Billie Eilish and her (I'm not gonna say iconic because they're just weird right now) outfits from her "Bad Guy" and "All Good Girls" videos. Also, she can play the ukulele rather well, so if you're having trouble understanding her lyrics, you can still enjoy her music.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the expression "Jumping the Shark." 95% of quiztakers knew that the expression came from an episode of "Happy Days" in which Henry Winkler showed off his skills on waterskis by jumping over a shark. Something to remember, though - although the expression is used to denote a decline in quality of a program, that episode was from the start of season five - and the show continued for another six seasons. That's commercial success by any definition.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here.

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Last night's shiatshow of a dumpster fire
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-09-30 1:02:03 PM, edited 2020-09-30 1:03:02 PM (98 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been well.

I'm not sure who got the worse end of the stick last night, those of us who watched the debate or those of us who didn't and woke up to the aftermath.  We'll cover some of the lowlights on the Fark Livestream today at 3 p.m. Eastern.

A quick heads up - we've been planning on breaking out a new STEM tab to differentiate the geek tab, however in the process of pre-populating it I've discovered that what remains in the geek tab is pretty much Fandom.  So there's a good chance we may retire Geek and create two new tabs.  Suggestions, comments, thoughts? Drop me a line (drew at fark dot com).

Just a short note for today - things have been moving fast in the news cycle for what seems like an eternity, and now it feels like they've sped up even more.  It's going to be a hell of an October.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
LordOfThePings showed us what Balancing Rock looked like before it fell over
Joe USer figured out why another Farker dislikes Bill Murray so much
Redh8t shared a less confusing video with a high Farker
Mantour knew how we could be honor the memory of Longcat
UltimaCS suggested a more economic alternative to a new $500 connected spin bike
SBinRR pointed out that a model who's having trouble finding work because of her unibrow has other options
Devolving_Spud reacted to the claim that male bottlenose dolphins pleasure themselves with live eels
Schroedinger's Glory Hole was quick to come up with a headline when the submitter gave up
We Ate the Necco Wafers knew the truth about Farkers' feelings toward chipmunks
jsnbase got the worst possible results on a marital rating scale from 1939
Smirky the Wonder Chimp explained why EMTs claimed a "dead" woman's chest would continue moving for an hour after death

Smart:
Cubansaltyballs decided that terrorizing a certain well-known group of villains is just too much work
arrogantbastich had a suggestion for what to do if you're up against someone who has a "taser shield"
whither_apophis predicted how an insurance company might handle an accident at a winery
Endive Wombat gave examples of how easy it can be to become addicted to painkillers
Iggie shared something many families worry about in the U.S. now
NateAsbestos figured it might be a good thing that Microsoft purchased Bethesda's parent company
scottydoesntknow possibly proved that God from the Bible is real
hubiestubert predicted trouble if churches start to also serve as bank branches in some areas
Tr0mBoNe helped bust someone for illegally dumping garbage

CSB Sunday Morning: That one time at a funeral
Smart:
proco reminded a funeral director that it's best to avoid taking shortcuts when it comes to certain traditions
Funny: TheWriteGirl's friend had a memorable interaction with Grandma

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Hankie Fest told us about an innocent man paying the price for someone else's stupid and selfish decision
Smart: NM Volunteer gave advice on what to do when a client you meet on site refuses to wear a mask and gets up in your face
Smart: hobnail shared a story about a hero from FedEx
Smart: Shostie described the right way to fark around
Smart: CommieTaoist told another TotalFarker what to make first with a new 3D printer
Funny: Literally Addicted contemplated a future with more sexy times than the past
Funny: brap discussed flooring options

Politics Funny:
This Is Bold Text wasn't too sure about the headline for Ron Paul's medical emergency
GooberMcFly was touched by the reaction when Ruth Bader Ginsburg's personal trainer honored her by doing pushups
Farking Clown Shoes explained why Donald Trump claimed "the United States will be the first nation to land an astronaut on Nars"
NateAsbestos revealed the real reason Trump had to suddenly leave a press conference
gilgigamesh had quite a reaction watching Trump get booed while paying respects to Justice Ginsburg

Politics Smart:
koder wondered if people would excuse what Kyle Rittenhouse did if someone else had done it
Jack Sabbath remembered another president who was booed at a memorial service
Magorn shared an opinion on how Joe Biden should handle the debates against Donald Trump
FlashHarry gave advice to Democrats who are worried that their vote won't be counted
foo monkey wondered how priorities got so screwed up


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
kabloink dressed up some french fries
RedZoneTuba got a little confused about how to play horseshoes
Circusdog320 created a greeting card to remind people to vote
kabloink had a space kegger
You might not want to hire Yammering_Splat_Vector as a housekeeper or babysitter
#2 showed us a lesson that's about to be learned
FirstDennis gave this kid some rock 'n' roll dreams
Yammering_Splat_Vector's greeting card is a threat or a warning
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a divine model for this dress
Resident Muslim showed an exhilarating race through the forest

Fartist Friday: Captain 2020
gunther_bumpass gave us the hero we need and deserve. Be sure to check out the other great entries, too. 

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This weekend will include National Poetry Day, Taco Day AND Vodak Day. Write a poem celebrating Vodak and/or Tacos, and illustrate it using any medium - pen and paper, Photoshop, sculpture, MSPaint, etc.  

FarktographyIf I Toad You Once I've Toad You a Thousand Times
All Latest won with a snail sitting slimily on a succulent scarlet strawberry

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

A tough time on the Quiz last week for most, although I did figure out that I was in possession of a spaghetti squash. It made for a great take on succotash with okra and diced tomatoes. However, the 1000 club remains closed this week, so more leftovers for me! On the Quiz itself, Gravitationally Challenged came out on top with 914, followed by WoolyManwich in second with 910 and tiezane in third with 898. FrancoFile took fourth with 852, and runwiz finishes out the top five with 830.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was over Google's Doodle on September 15 to kick off Hispanic Heritage Month. Only 28% of quiztakers knew the story of Felicitas Mendez, who sued her local school district in the 1940's as they insisted her two sons could not attend the same school as her daughter because their skin was too dark. While the ruling in the case of Mendez v. Westminster in 1947 did not actually result in full desegregation of California schools, its impact was certainly felt much later - the case was briefed in amicus by the NAACP's attorney Thurgood Marshall, and implemented by the-California governor Earl Warren, both of whom were involved in a lesser-known case about a decade later called Brown v Board of Education.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which Tom Cruise movie cadets at the Navy's Fighter Weapons School were prohibited from quoting. 86% of quiztakers knew the school's more familiar name is "Top Gun." I'm pretty sure they're also prohibited from riding a motorcycle on the runway, but nowadays seminude beach volleyball games are fine if you're into it.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about Taco Bell Canada's new potent potable. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that our neighbors to the North could fight off the moose and swing their Zambonis by Taco Bell on the way home from the hockey match to snag a bottle of Jalapeño Noir wine to pair with their Toasted Cheesy Chalupa. If they want a Mountain Dewgarita, they'll have to make a run for the *actual* border and hit up an American Red Lobster.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over Presidential souvenirs. 82% of quiztakers knew that a 2" lock of hair belonging to Abraham Lincoln was sold at auction the previous week for a whopping $81,000, along with a bloodstained telegram that conclusively disproved the theory that telegram services were shut down immediately following his assassination. Also, a lock of hair from William McKinley sold at auction in 2008 for a mere $956. So, yeah, ending slavery makes your body parts worth a lot more to the descendants of your relatives.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Oh no, Fark's changing things again!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-09-23 12:44:12 PM (84 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Everyone ready for some changes?  Who doesn't love change?

A few weeks ago I asked TotalFarkers about possible changes and/or additions to the current tab categories.  In particular, over the past 20 years the Geek tab has become kind of a catch-all tab. This is partly due to the increase in coverage of science along with fandom-related events, and it doesn't really make sense to lump all these things together anymore.  Plus, I just really like science stuff and would love to link to more of it.

So sometime in the next few weeks, we'll be adding a STEM tab to split out those topics from Geek.  We're planning to start populating it in advance to make sure that 1) there are enough articles to populate a STEM tab and 2) that there are enough articles remaining on the Geek tab once the split happens.  I'm pretty sure both are correct but you never know until you try.

Once we split out STEM articles, I'm considering maybe another topic split and creating a Fandom tab where we can put all the sci-fi/fantasy/superhero/RPG stuff.  However, I suspect that might almost definitely leave no topics left in the geek tab, and if that's the case we may retire Geek entirely.  We'll have more discussions about this on TotalFark, which you should totally sign up for today if you haven't already, because there's more stuff in the pipeline and TotalFarkers will hear about it first - plus have the chance to have input.

We tried an experimental morning livestream today which went way better than I expected considering we did the previous one yesterday at 4 p.m.  Tomorrow we're shooting for 7:30 p.m., and Friday Movie Night is back at 10:30 p.m. Eastern, assuming Dallan doesn't have to run another generator out to his sister on the Florida panhandle like last week.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Pocket Ninja needed some questions answered about what millennials did to shut down a hot dog shop
null figured that Chris made it a point to check out Chris' photo
TheAnalogKid brought up another thing millennials must be destroying, according to common logic
wejash was looking out for the missus
NewportBarGuy explained what happened to the Pensacola Bay Bridge
labman shared a story about three men who sold their tree-clearing services after Hurricane Hugo
Farkn Yaj Yenrac knew exactly what those durn millennials will do now that they shut down the hot dog shop
Badmoodman let us know what will happen after Tropical Storm Beta
johnny_vegas had words of encouragement for a fellow Farker
Acidicnads could see why cops would be suspicious of NPR

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
a particular individual noticed something about three children who, along with their mother, were saved from a burning SUV by an 18-year-old

Smart:
eiger discussed the use of the phrase "proper press credentials" by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
Corona Cure had some questions about a child who was run over by a corn harvester
Magorn shared information about circumstances under which other crimes a defendant is accused of are allowed to be used as evidence in a trial
Wanebo made a prediction about Jerry Falwell Jr.'s future
NewportBarGuy discussed what should be done about the large number of recent deaths at Fort Hood
Redh8t described how professional tree removers often tackle a job
Nurglitch had an idea of why orcas have been engaging in coordinated attacks on boats
Some Junkie Cosmonaut explained why J. K. Rowling doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt when it comes to one of the characters in her new novel
vudukungfu had startling news for people who "do not believe in" masks
YabbaDabbaDouchebag had the inside scoop on frontline workers and safety precautions

CSB Sunday Morning: Wedding-related stories
Smart: Gulper Eel shared a story about things not turning out as expected
Funny: Earguy illustrated the dangers of marrying someone whose mother hates you

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Unikitty argued that it is indeed time to quit a job
Funny: Cafe Threads broke the news about the TotalFark secks parties
Funny: middleoftheday predicted TotalFarkers would find other occasions to use a particular bit of advice
Funny: Earthworm Jim Jones argued that a pool should definitely be open right now
Smart: MissFeasance needs to go back in time to win an argument with an ill-tempered customer
Funny: Louisiana_Sitar_Club showed what the bird that was stuck in rosekolodny's house was thinking
Smart: Beeblebrox named something you should do at least once in your life
Smart: rosekolodny showed what happened to the bird that was loose in the hoose
Funny: generalDisdain shared a description of Elon Musk

Bonus FarkStaff Picks:
Pray for 433
Brawndo
gave great advice about something to put on your resume

Politics Funny:
revrendjim defended Trump's delay in helping Puerto Rico repair destruction from Hurricane Maria
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat thought that OdradekRex wasn't aiming high enough
HugeMistake told us how to correctly pronounce a word that Trump was having trouble with
gopher321 got overexcited when protesters swarmed the street outside Mitch McConnell's home
Pinnacle Point reminded everyone to not get carried away when owners of a Minnesota apple orchard decided to be racist on their Facebook page

Politics Smart:
ManThatHurts looked at a "both sides are bad" argument
Jack Sabbath examined how toughness is defined by many Americans
markie_farkie saw evidence that many Virginians who showed up for the first day of early in-person voting could be Democrats
Jack Sabbath shared a story about a cousin who went to a recent Trump rally
FlashHarry reminded us to think about our legacies


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector wanted to talk to Fark's manager about our topic tags
opalakea thought that some years are just iconic
rugbyjock knows what rugbyjock is all about
Somaticasual wanted a tag for premium content
Circusdog320 figured we should celebrate having a fortune in misfortune
TrollingForColumbine made one wonder whether this cat is helping or just being a jerk
RedZoneTuba created a Fark tag for the red zone
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed a tag for when you just don't know what's going on
RedZoneTuba improved this autumn in particular
Herb Utsmelz poured a glass of sweet feline

Fartist Friday: Create something pirate themed in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day
technomuse turned a classic joke into poetry

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of National Comic Book Day, create your version of "Captain 2020" using ONLY MSPaint/Draw-type programs (no Photoshop or similar) or IRL drawing  

FarktographyMe, Myselfie, and I
This one ended in a tie between CiliarySpasm's magnificentl​y-groomed facial hair and olavf's mask and catling gun

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time on the Quiz last week, although I'm not sure my recipes are going to catch on any time soon. On the Quiz itself, the 1000 club is empty this week, which isn't a bad thing as it still smells like microwaved catfish for some reason. Denjiro came out on top with 930, followed by coscausticevil in second with 838 and KumquatMay in third with 833. Fourth place went to zerkalo with 828. and seelorq took fifth with 818.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the origins of the term "buccaneer" as a synonym for pirate. Only 27% of quiztakers knew that, like most bad things in the world, we can blame the French on this one, too. European explorers brought the idea of roasting meat on a wooden rack to the West Indies, specifically Hispaniola where French dudes loved to hang out and shoot things like wild boar, and they quickly adopted the style of boucanning their prey. When the local Spanish government grew tired of French dudes running around the countryside shooting things (like most people eventually do), they kicked them out, and these former boucaniers took up the trade of pirating where they could continue to shoot things. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the children's book "Ron's Big Mission," which describes the experience of Ron McNair in trying to check out books from the segregated Lake City, SC public library. 70% of quiztakers knew that he grew up to be America's second Black astronaut, but was sadly lost to us in the Challenger disaster in 1986. You can still visit that same public library building in Lake City where a defiant 9-year-old once sat on the counter awaiting police  - just ask for directions to the Dr. Ronald E. McNair Life History Center.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over classic American literature. Only 50% of quiztakers knew that Liev Shriber's upcoming film "Across the River and Into the Trees" is based on the book by Ernest Hemingway. No word on how many margaritas he plans to drink on set every day to get into character. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which series E! was finally bringing to a close. 90% of quiztakers knew that there was a tiny sliver of a silver lining to 2020, in that "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" would finally come to an end. No word on how this affects Kanye West's run for President. 

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Six-martini lunches at the Circle K
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-09-16 6:14:48 PM, edited 2020-09-16 6:18:48 PM (46 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has gone well.

This week's news meta is super distracted.  I'm not sure MSM folks have enough available resources to cover everything going on.  The surprise hurricane last night added some extra workload, wildfires, and 2020 politics are 2020 politics as usual.  There's a lot going on, I get the impression if this were the '30s or the '50s, everyone would head out to a six-martini lunch at noon Friday and call it a week. At least I would.  Maybe I'll do that, hmmm....

We've got some new interesting features that we'll be giving TotalFarkers a look at soon - none that will be available this week, but there are some great things coming.  We'll be asking TotalFarkers for input and advice, if you'd like to weigh in now's a great time to sign up for TotalFark!  Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.  Stay tuned!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Abe Vigoda's Ghost got hungry while reading about "puppy girls"
Call the Guy described what happened when university student Brian Nguyen "dry" fired a gun in his apartment
Pocket Ninja was inspired by a brawl at Dollar General
Jack Sabbath pointed out why the upcoming "Dune" movie looks like garbage
Barfmaker became excited by a development in the fight between mask-wearers and anti-maskers
Tr0mBoNe answered a question about a wildfire that was started by a gender reveal party device
NeoCortex42 summed up why Candace Cameron Bure's husband copped a feel in a photo with her
ZAZ noticed an error in a headline about the Associated Press style guidelines
felching pen wrote a confusing review of a hotel that had a huge explosion
LordOfThePings explained why police in Rochester, NY reportedly tear gassed a statue of Frederick Douglass

Smart:
TommyDeuce showed how police officers in the U.S. are able to handle every type of problem
169th Cousin discussed the intention behind the movement to "defund the police"
Russ1642 shared an observation about getting promotions at work
jaylectricity had a good idea to get stores to enforce mask usage, if you can pull it off
lolmao500 mentioned another reason for Americans to take COVID-19 more seriously
bloobeary would like to see certain changes remain after the pandemic is over
cherryl taggart found a reason to continue wearing masks
Squid_for_Brains described National Guard crews who risked their lives to rescue 214 campers from a wildfire
Night Train to Wakanda suggested that a different story of the origins of Rey from the latest Star Wars movies would've been better

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Beeblebrox showed us what it might look like when a Fark moderator looks for a new home
Funny: leeksfromchichis had news about a fire that was getting uncomfortably close to another Farker
Smart: merrillvillain showed off that curved wood
Funny: croesius explained why someone couldn't nominate themselves for the Noble Peace Prize
Smart: Barnacles! shared some casual Sox
Smart: Eclectic listed some pros and cons of living in California

Politics Funny:
scottydoesntknow explained why boats were sinking at the Trump Boat Parade on Lake Travis
NewportBarGuy knew what really matters when it comes to the mysterious seeds people received from China
Sin'sHero just has one question about the article in The Atlantic about Donald Trump's disrespect for the military
Jake Havechek did something special in observance of the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks
ThomasPaineTrain knew exactly how Antifa caused those boats at the Trump Parade to sink

Politics Smart:
cherryl taggart was familiar with the cause of all the problems at the Trump Boat Parade on Lake Travis
NewportBarGuy submitted a thread to tell us what effect the destruction of the U.S. Postal Service is having on veterans
El Dudereno figured incels have a lot in common with another group
Squik2 discussed the reason signs have been put up telling USPS workers not to "hold trucks"
wademh explained to Louis DeJoy why he's the Boobiesmaster general to fail at the job


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
opalakea designed a floral skirt
RedZoneTuba showed how wild predators adapt to catch their prey
X-Geek gave us the forest at knight
RedZoneTuba took a Wiz in the woods
Thrakkorzog found out that Violet Beauregarde never left the factory after the tour
opalakea appreciated the latest French fashions
Circusdog320 discovered that this famous fish finally found the way home
RedZoneTuba learned not to dance with sharks
#2 brought a Sopwith Camel to a paper airplane fight
rugbyjock showed zebrafish larvae playing leapfrog

Fartist Friday: Musical art
aeroperf decided to make music from scratch

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day this weekend by creating something pirate-themed such as a haiku in pirate-speak, a pirate treasure map, dress up like a pirate, etc.

FarktographySoftware Hootenanny 10
Vortex Dweller gave us a taste of the Milky Way

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time on the Quiz last week, and I'm glad to say that we aren't in any danger of robots taking over for Quiz writing, although sometimes I wish they'd take over for flipping the right switches when it goes green so I wouldn't make silly mistakes like not limiting the number of questions. So that gives up our top 10 from last week: 

Cardinal Ximenez 1081
AlfalfaMale 1070
OkieDookie 1053
NM Volunteer 1021
jim32rr 1004
Hassan Ben Sobr1001
Dead for Tax Reasons 998
JasonOfOrillia 988
Denjiro 964
zerkalo 925

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over those wacky waffle eaters in Belgium and what they embedded in a public fountain in the town of Verviers back in 1883. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that rather than artifacts like a daily newspaper or town proclamations or local artisan workmanship, someone found the actual heart of the town's first mayor (who had died back in 1839) and decided to stick it in there. I'm willing to bet that the wife of whoever was keeping that thing probably had something to do with it. "Mattéo, you've had that thing lying around for 44 years. It's weird and our friends are creeped out every time they come over. You're getting rid of it this weekend, and that's final!"

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about those wacky Portlanders (Portlandites? Portlandians?) and their eternal quest to Keep Portland Weird. 80% of quiztakers knew that the guy wandering around dressed like a Sleestak was paying homage to the fish-man critters from "Land of the Lost". Or maybe that was his way of offering directions to lost tourists, I dunno.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about what unwanted sequel Johnny Depp was filming that left him too busy to prosecute a defemation suit against his ex-wife. Only 33% of quiztakers knew he was now in production of "Fantastic Beasts 3" for some reason. According to Screenrant, Disney is considering two different directions for "Pirates of the Caribbean 6," one of which might involve Captain Jack Sparrow in a limited role, the other of which won't at all. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over "Cole & Marmalade." 89% of quiztakers knew that Cole and Marmalade were two cats whose antics were considered "intellectual property" by a guy who was hired by their owner to promote them, and at one point had a legal injunction against their owner prohibiting him from posting pics of the kitties online. Luckily for fans, they have now returned to social media, although I'm pretty sure that like all cats, they really don't care.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here.

Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
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