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Fark NotNewsletter: Tornadoes, bourbon, & voting for Fark Headline of the Year
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-15 3:50:41 PM (23 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

A bunch of folks have asked if we were affected by the Kentucky tornadoes last weekend.  The two largest ones went just north and just south of the county I live in, so we weren't directly impacted.  However, pretty much everyone knows someone affected. People have asked me where the best place is to donate to help. There are about a million organizations doing fundraising, but so far the best one I've come across is the Kentucky Bourbon Benefit. Starting tomorrow they'll be auctioning off rare and interesting booze, all proceeds from the auctions will be then added to the main state fundraiser Team Western Kentucky Tornado Relief Fund.  That's the one I'd recommend, because booze and benevolence are a great combo.

Coming tomorrow: It's the 2021 Headline of the Year contest.  I have personally compiled the best hundred or so headlines of the year, each week every week for the entire year.  And now we have finalists!  You bunch are damn talented headline writers; at times while creating the list of finalists I laughed so hard I scared the cats.  We need your votes to help decide a winner.  Vote early, vote often.  Winners to be announced next week!

This week on the Fark News Livestream: Join me, Christine, Dill, probably Trevor, and maybe Rebecca for omicron updates, talking psychotic cats, they finally caught those damn zebras, and a roundup of strange things showing up in donation bins across the country.
________________________

End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Spice Must Flow knew the ultimate way to top off the punishment for people who throw "air rage" tantrums on planes
EnzoTheCoder had a suggestion to "help" Combustion do some independent research
AbuHashish found that the design for Amazon's planned shipping containers for cargo ships they'll charter is already done
Rectum damn near killed em showed the kind of thing that's definitely not on AmbassadorBooze's computer
Gordon Bennett wanted to reach out to Monkees co-founder Michael Nesmith's loved ones
JessieL had confusing feelings brought on by a Fark headline
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat remembered where Nesmith came from
freakingmoron inspired the slogan, "It's Not A Cult, It's Fark"
azpenguin made Kia's new SUV look more like the meme with a similar name
hobnail was sad to read an article about a strange series of events that resulted in the drowning deaths of 10 geese
beezeltown explained why authorities should've known sooner when a man was paid to take up to 10 other people's COVID-19 vaccinations in one day

Smart:
hubiestubert suggested airlines could work together on more than just price fixing
ryebread explained why one common theme in works of fiction just hits differently now
FleshFlapps pointed out that you're wrong if you think a crow knows nothing
zbtop brought up part of why the biggest retailers in the U.S. are the way they are
edmo revealed one way to be treated well and get unearned privileges
Sliding Carp shared a memory of Michael Nesmith

CSB Sunday MorningIt seemed like a good idea at the time
Smart: Petey4335 learned that sometimes doing an entire project yourself can cost you something much more valuable than the money you saved
Funny: MusicMakeMyHeadPound found out that using your toddler's words for things can get rather awkward

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja considered the fact that counties that voted for Donald Trump have a higher COVID-19 death rate
OdradekRex came up with a name for Louie Gohmert's band with Gaetz and Greene
Metastatic Capricorn thought that a huge part of Bob Dole's legacy had been forgotten
mrshowrules acquired immunity the natural way
educated had a bone to pick with giantmeteor

Politics Smart:
eurotrader had bad news for your attorney
Aussie_As examined an attempt by Fox News to blame the Oxford school shooting on "liberal school personnel"
flamark thought that John McCain and Bob Dole had a lasting impact on the Republican Party
OldRod looked at why President Biden hasn't been able to "beat the virus" yet
koder saw the sad way in which Marjorie Taylor Greene was right to compare COVID-19 to cancer


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
kabloink revealed what the original Chewbacca looked like
RedZoneTuba brought in a dancer to play football
dlarsen222 showed beloved comic strip characters about to jump off a cliff
Driver made a pre-pre-prequel to a classic war movie
west.la.lawyer found out what happens when a chiropractor really wanted to be an architect
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this kitty room to branch out
Yammering_Splat_Vector decided to do away with winter
Yammering_Splat_Vector's apartment building just remembered someplace else it needs to be
TrollingForColumbine touched His Noodly Appendage
RedZoneTuba bore witness to a miracle

Farking Tip: If you think you might enjoy the cheap thrill of getting a submission greenlit on Fark, consider submitting a Photoshop contest. Normally a few Fark Photoshop contests go to the Fark Main page every day, but the Fark admins don't always have a lot of Photoshop submissions to choose from - so you have a decent chance of getting a greenlight if you put one in the hat. You can see all the current and upcoming greenlit contests here, including Caption, Fartist Friday, and Farktography threads. 

Fartist FridayCreate artwork showing your pretend time machine in a historical event
thatguyoverthere70 went back in time to use the Force

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "Monkey Day," create a poem about our primate pal or one in honor of iconic Monkee Mike Nesmith who recently passed. You can write a haiku, limerick, free verse, sonnet, etc, all newly-created for this contest.


FarktographyA Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever
Lovesandwich photographed a branch of vibrant plumeria blossoms


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Two local residents who went maskless at zoo test positive for COVID-19 after showing symptoms, ask for privacy citing HIPPO regulations

Many, many days late, the National Baseball Hall of Fame is no longer a Buck short

The COVID-19 vaccination map looks almost exactly like the 2020 election map, which I guess means that we can just overturn the entire pandemic with a few strategically placed lawsuits of questionable validity

German man performing castrations on eight men lied about being medically trained. His only reference was getting someone unstuck from a chair with slightly spaced out planks

Suspect in the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi arrested in Paris; story still coming together

Waking up right after drifting off to sleep can boost creativity, especially if you're in the fast lane on the 405 freeway

Close the book on French Open director Guy Forget. Who? Exactly

Have they tried taking him out of the casket and blowing on him?

People are buying drugs via Instagram. I mean, it's right there in the name

Joey Chestnut eats 17 pounds of shrimp cocktail in eight minutes. Oh sure, when he does it he's a winner, when subby does it he's "ruined the company Christmas party"

Today may be Heisenberg's 120th birthday

New Super Stealthy Navy destroyer is covered in rust. Protip: If you're gonna spend $9 billion, get the undercoating


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learn that Andy Griffith's generosity with his coworkers in the 1960s and '70s directly led to his career resurgence in the 1980s . On the Quiz itself,  Redh8t's score of 1018 took our top spot and a ticket to the 1000 club, where we'll be playing back-to-back episodes of "Salvage 1" all week on an old VCR and 19" TV combo strapped to a wheeled metal stand with "A/V Room" painted on in silver magic marker, salvaged from an elementary school in 1988. Denjiro took second with 978 and ThunderChild took third with 959. dochaha made fourth with 943, and spudbeach made it into the top five with 937. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about China's space program. Only 21% of quiztakers knew that the Zhurong rover and Tianwen-1 spacecraft are currently studying Mars. Yes, the Chinese also thought it would be cool to drive a RC car around on another planet, so at least we Americans can say it's not just us, it's an innate human need to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new terrain and new racetracks, to boldly drive things around where no man has driven things around before. (Yes, China also has a rover on the moon - the Yutu-2.)

The  easiest question on Hard Quiz was about what the Wright Brothers were doing in Dayton, OH before they got bored and went to the beach to fly a really big kite with one of them strapped to it. 96% of quiztakers knew that they ran a bicycle shop back in 1892. I'm wondering if they could already foresee the aggressiveness of the average American driver while around slower cyclists and decided to just abandon roads altogether. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was amazingly about the Konami Code. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that it first showed up in the NES game Gradius. When the programmer porting the game from the arcade version thought it was too hard for him to playtest, he added a way of getting all the game's power-ups so he could actually make it through the game. He forgot to remove it before the game went to production, but everyone loved it - mainly because they thought the game was too hard, too (it was originally designed to eat quarters). Konami repeated it in further releases, notably Contra. The code didn't work on Metroid, which was developed in-house by Nintendo.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what Jim Belushi has been up to lately while we're all not watching "The World According to Jim" reruns. 88% of quiztakers caught the report from a "Men's Health" reporter who went skinny dipping with him and toured his Mothership 1 & 2 greenhouses where he grew his artisanal cannabis. I'm guessing he's trying to find the right strain that will let him forget about the entire "K-9" series (yes, he actually made three of those).

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Read this before the robot uprising
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-08 10:59:22 AM (49 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

It's just about time for the 2021 Fark Headline of the Year contest.  We're way ahead of the game this year.  Last year I waited until December to select candidates from each tab for you to vote on, processing the whole year - a week's worth of headlines at a time - within the span of one week. That was a lot, so this year I changed tactics and selected Headlines of the Week every Monday instead - which is why it reappeared in the NotNewsletter, by the way.  Anyhow, it's done and we've got a preliminary list of finalist candidates.  Look for voting on those to launch soon.  I gotta say, you all crushed it this year.  Well done.

I teased a brainstorming thread in TotalFark Discussion last week, didn't happen.  Going to try again this week, keep your eyes peeled.

This week on the Fark News Livestream: Join me, plus Christine, Dill, and whoever else can make it for a recap of the week's weirdest news.  Introducing a new segment: The Rabbit Hole. You've seen us do this before.  Last week, the Rabbit Hole started with an omicron news roundup but then diverged into strange, weird territory involving Orson Welles doing sketchy wine commercials in the '70s while hammered.  This week we'll take it to a whole new level with strange Christmas traditions from around the world. Things will take a dark turn and get weird. Hilarity will ensue. Don't miss it.
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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
DoBeDoBeDo knew why someone would design a very bumpy, jerky slide
Sawdust and Mildew understood perfectly a "timeline shifter's" process for moving to an alternate timeline
AdmirableSnackbar knew exactly what to do about sharks gathering up and down the East Coast
JessieL came up with a slogan for a really rough park slide
dionysusaur revealed who designed the ouchy slide
Chariset reminded us who really wins when it comes to the question of which COVID-19 vaccine is most effective
padraig gave us a play-by-play of what happened after a plumber found a buttload of money in a bathroom wall of Joel Osteen's church
151 knew that some things are easier to live down than others
Shostie came up with something you never want to hear from a robot
BizarreMan predicted the next news we'll hear from the CEO of Moderna after he said that current vaccines probably won't be very effective against the omicron variant

Smart:
RodneyToady's message to police officers was "you first"
151 knew that some things are easier to live down than others
Redh8t analyzed a floating scissor lift configuration
markie_farkie gave some background information about this one weird trick for inflating giant tires
Aussie_As stated how much we appreciate being able to learn from each other's stories and experiences on Fark
ketkarsa pointed out that an article about cops wanting you to step in and help when they're being attacked was based on a questionable source [and here's a follow-up comment with the source]

CSB Sunday Morning: Holiday traditions
Smart: edmo's holiday tradition involves taking a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne
Funny: Recoil Therapy had a Christmas Eve tradition when the kids were little

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
ThomasPaineTrain added a fifth option to a Fox News poll
nmrsnr explained who's behind a recording allegedly of Michael Flynn and who split this comment in two
Candygram4Mongo shared a passage from Marjorie Taylor Greene's Thanksgiving cookbook
diIdo tontine supported building a border wall
Pocket Ninja argued that it's wrong to charge the parents of a school shooter

Politics Smart:
Aussie_As talked about the January 6 insurrectionists' expectations versus the reality
IgG4 figured that maybe when everyone thought Donald Trump was on cocaine or Adderall, they were wrong
OddLlama noticed that Madison Cawthorn accidentally revealed what he truly thinks of abortion
Arumat explained to someone who tased an Capitol police officer on January 6 how he ended up here
Oysterman witnessed the unsettling juxtaposition of two American concerns


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Joe USer thought Google could be more helpful
cosmiquemuffin figured Google should have a Fark doodle
kabloink revealed the truth about an influential politician
Yammering_Splat_Vector brought out a classic character
asstamassta helped a couple of Martians and a polychaete figure out what a rotary phone is
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us Pooty-Poot's newest ride
Yammering_Splat_Vector changed an old habit
kabloink sat in a skroobball chair
TrollingForColumbine's Google doodle looks back at you
falkone32 gave us a deep look inside a popular search engine

Fartist FridayArt featuring the Fibonacci sequence
This one ended in a tie between a particular individual's spots before your eyes and Resident Muslim's Girl with a Shell Hat

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day," create for this contest new artwork showing us your own pretend time traveling machine in an event from history of your choice. Use any art programs and materials. Difficulty: Don't use your real time machine to travel back in time to win this contest.

FarktographyFair Game
Herb Utsmelz put the pool in the garage


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Swollen Nooksack continues to cause irritation

WHO Nu Xi would piss off the Chinese

I laughed, my wife laughed, the toaster laughed. I shot the toaster, the toaster shot back

All around me are redacted faces. Federal places, blurred out faces. Bright and early for their court room races. Going nowhere, maybe prison

You better watch out. I said, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

LeBron has covid. No worries, though. He never passes anything to anybody

The Subnet Mask of Zorro

Fifty years ago, an entire generation started to die of dysentery

What do Omicron and TFG have in common?

Joe Biden's vengeance knows no bounds

You feel the touch of my nails. I hear pain and surprise in your gasp. "Yes, they call me the Submitter," I whisper in your helpless ear, "but when it comes to a stale and tired Cyber Monday joke, you'll be the one who submits"

The Christmas Price Index is up ♫ FIIIIIVE point SEVENNN PERCENNNT ♫

Roly poly dude eats roly poly food

The worst drink to have after 50. Hell, after 50 drinks, they're all pretty bad


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned that my neighbor's Santa's Taco Truck Inflatable is not unique. Unfortunately, no one made it into the 1000 club this week, which means no one gets to see my slideshow on the worst Christmas decorations this season. On the Quiz itself, bingethinker came out on top with 981, followed by BigChad in second with 977 and FacelessDevil30 in third with 945. runwiz made fourth with 936, and Grizwald made the final slot in the top five with 926,

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what burger joint has its own famous recipe for stuffing made from their burgers - which you can see prepared by an Orlando fire chief on their official OnlyFans page (yes, that OnlyFans). Only 40% of quiztakers knew that It was White Castle that had been sharing its stuffing recipe for the past 30 years, and this season decided to kick it up a bit by using Jalapeño Cheese Sliders and adding a jalapeño pepper and pepper jack cheese in the mix. For some reason, the fact that a restaurant has an OnlyFans page makes me visualize Mike Judge saying "I told you so!" to which I reply "No, you said it would be Starbucks and Fuddruckers." 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you can find the newly opened  world's largest IKEA. 83% of quiztakers knew that the island of Luzon was the location of Manila, the capital of Philippines. No word yet on how long Duterte will allow it to remain open after he tries assembling a bookshelf and can't find anyone who can tell him what a "fishgig-shaped wrench" or a "quincunx knob" are.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the 1979 TV series "Salvage 1," a show about a guy who built a spaceship out of junk and flew around looking for crap to sell (The New York Times actually called it an "upscale, white Sanford & Son"). Only 47% of quiztakers could believe that Sheriff Andy from Mayberry would be the guy the network chose to helm a cheesy '70s sci-fi adventure. If you're interested, the entire series is available on YouTube, but it looks grainier than a Kansas farm silo just after harvest. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Gillian Anderson's next role. 90% of quiztakers knew that she's back to her American accent playing our longest-serving First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. Fun fact: Eleanor Roosevelt was also our tallest First Lady, standing 5'11." (Michelle Obama and Melania Trump are also 5'11") Which means the 5'3" Anderson might need to look at some heels for the role.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, now would be a good time to catch up since you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: What do mashed potatoes, Headline of the Year, and the Swear Jar have in common?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-01 3:15:18 PM (55 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Our first family Thanksgiving in person in two years was pretty fun.  All the nephews and nieces are pretty much teenagers now, which made estimating the amount of food to make a moving target. Tl;dr we were way over on turkey and way under on mashed potatoes.  So it goes.  Hopefully my liver will heal up in time for Xmas.

A couple things of note: First off, Swear Jar looks ready to launch in January.  TotalFarkers will get a chance to beta test this in advance.  Secondly, I could use some brainstorming help from TFers for a weird thing I'm planning in January.  Keep an eye out for that TotalFark Discussion thread soon.

Also, Headline of the Year voting is on deck soon.  I just have to run the November candidates and we're in business.  More on that soon.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
jaivirtualcard was shocked to learn about the number of collisions involving bicyclists on the Golden Gate Bridge
Exluddite was pleasantly surprised by a casting choice for a movie
eurotrader had a theory about what led to a toddler shooting a man in the back
dammit just give me a login explained why a 2-year-old was handling a rifle
Madman drummers bummers stated what killed Brian Laundrie since it didn't turn out to be an alligator
BumpInTheNight showed us what a "unicorn" variant of COVID-19 might look like
Derp Du Jour found a clue pointing to the problem with remote learning
nmrsnr proved that when life gives you lemons, you should make Kool-Aid
Nana's Vibrator shared a more humane process than boiling lobsters alive
Moose out front had a different theory about Brian Laundrie's death

Smart:
Znuh opted for a boosted booster
0MGWTFBBQ shared an observation about remote learning
scottydoesntknow's comment was written by Satan and free will
Kris_Romm told us how Don Rickles was able to dunk on Frank Sinatra with no hard feelings or busted kneecaps
AnotherBluesStringer discussed Rickles' style of comedy
ssa5 suggested a plan to fight the spread of COVID-19 that doesn't involve forcing people to get vaccinated
TuckFrump grew up being forced to live under the house

CSB Sunday Morning: The moment you realized you were an adult
Smart: Man_Without_A_Hat shared a poignant story about becoming a caretaker for a parent
Funny: LOLITROLU appreciated the freedom that came with having a job

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Mr. Coffee Nerves identified a very American dilemma
dericwater remembered when John F. Kennedy Jr. died
Ker_Thwap knew what to do with a chart of conspiracy theories
Tanqueray described how Joe Biden should've spent Thanksgiving
Por que tan serioso figured out why fewer Americans are planning on having children

Politics Smart:
ox45tallboy reacted to the verdict against the men who killed Ahmaud Arbery
Warthog did some math for a Trump supporter who doesn't want his Trump-hating siblings to inherit his millions
OptionC had a question about the expectation that police would stop Proud Boys from using an emergency exit to avoid subway tolls
Lorelle compared the verdicts in two high-profile trials
Pocket Ninja came up with a plan for addressing the concerns of parents who are upset about schools having to cancel classes


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound was fiercely proud of being a Protestant
Circusdog320 showed us The Dawn of Ma Bell
kabloink found out what Mister Rogers liked to wear on his days off
TrollingForColumbine suffered a broken lace at the worst possible time
kabloink tried to save Christmas
Yammering_Splat_Vector put these antique boots on this iconic musician
RedZoneTuba was done worrying about Lake Oroville
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that these "castaways" were just overly dramatic
RedZoneTuba hired the worst guys for this construction job
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed President Biden with the Irish side of his family

Fartist Friday took last week off for the holiday weekend. This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "Fibonacci Day" we'll create art featuring the Fibonacci Sequence, also known as The Golden Ratio. Use MS Paint/Draw, Photoshop, or good ol' fashioned paper & drawing tools to spotlight this illustrious Rule of Thirds for us. All votable entries must be newly-created especially for this contest.

FarktographyThankful Thursday
Peach_Fuz formed a new babby


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Crackers served in prison this Thanksgiving

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announces plans to protect freshwater map turtles, which have become threatened due to people's refusal to fold them correctly

Stephen Sondheim crosses the line between composing and decomposing

Why is the shipping industry willing to earn record profits instead of getting us our Christmas gadgets on time?

So the moral of the story is, if you get a DNA test and the results are anomalous, keep your mouth shut

Dodge announced that their upcoming EV line won't be compatible with any Chargers at all

In the distant future, some historian will see this article about the Bored Ape Yacht Club and promptly quit her job

Covid has irrevocably changed the office. That's what she said

Give a man a fish, he'll have a meal for that day. Teach a man to fish, he'll have some bald eagle swoop down and take that meal away

Which is better for you: salt or salt?

As God as my witness, I thought frozen turkeys could fry

Scientists discover gut bacteria that improve memory in bees while yours just continue to create unforgettable olfactory nightmares


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and I would like to compliment everyone on such an orderly taking of the Quiz without the blood and violence usually seen when offering a free fun news quiz on Black Friday. On the Quiz itself, no one made it into the 1000 Club, which is probably for the best as I can't figure out how to stop it from playing Christmas music 24/7. coscausticevilcame out on top with 943, followed by Texa$ in second with 937 and wearsmanyhats in third with 896. RaceDTruck took fourth with  889, and Denjiro made it into the top five with 886.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Pokémon. Only 19% of quiztakers knew that the entire phenomenon began in February of 1996 with the simultaneous release of "Pocket Monsters: Red" and "Pocket Monsters: Green" for the original Game Boy system - which became "Pokémon Red and Blue" in international release. After its success, the physical card game hit shelves in October of that year and the animated series (currently on season 20 with over 1,000 episodes) began in April of 1997. Depending on who's counting, it rivals "Grand Theft Auto" for the most lucrative entertainment property of all time (yes, even more than Star Wars). 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which Canadian city wound up being cut off from the rest of Canada after torrential rain and landslides wiped out local highways. 93% of quiztakers knew that it was Vancouver in BC where residents were forced to either ride a moose cross-country or go through the United States, where they were strip-searched for drugs at the border and then back through Canadian customs where they were detained for COVID protocols due to having been in the US. Me, I'd go with the moose.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the newest module in the International Space Station. 52% of quiztakers knew that the Prichal came to us courteous of the Russians. The new module expands the docking capability of the station so that up to five craft can dock simultaneously, with one even supporting automated transfer of propellant between a docked ship and the station. I'm wondering just how tiny these ships would have to be to dock five at once, since the module is only about 11 feet in diameter.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the late character actor Art LeFleur and his famous line about heroes and legends. 91% of quiztakers knew he delivered the line as Babe Ruth in the 1993 movie "The Sandlot". He's probably the only actor who ever did "M*A*S*H", "Webster", "The A-Team", "Tales From the Crypt", "Baywatch", and "Key and Peele". He'll be missed, and not just by casting directors.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, now is a great time to catch up on it , since you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Great news, everyone!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-11-24 12:52:29 PM (35 comments) | Permalink

This year's Farketplace is reopening this Friday for your Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday shopping needs! In case you've missed it so far, Farketplace is a thread where Farkers are invited to share information about their online shops and small businesses. There's a much better explanation in the Farketplace thread, so go check it out, and see all the awesome stuff your fellow Farkers are selling. And if you happen to make and sell, for example, handmade ear massagers, or you have a business writing custom ballads for pet salamanders, go tell everyone in the Farketplace thread about how to give you money in exchange for goods and services. Be sure to read the posts from Moderator at the top of the page, and don't go threadjacking in there or you will be eaten by a Drue. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
KarmicDisaster explained how a couple accidentally got on a plane to Greece when they were supposed to fly to Spain
wingnut396 agreed with Ker_Thwap's statement about corporations having too much power
Tom-Servo shared a story about a very frustrating experience with poor customer service
lindalouwho refused to be baited by Redh8t's construction equipment expertise
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That spoke up for a man who complained he's only known for his record-breaking manhose
Godscrack found something fishy about the front end of an Amazon truck that was severed by a train
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That argued that 69 can still be funny
Palined Parenthood told us what happened after a DoorDash delivery driver pooped in an apartment lobby
DannyBrandt was confused about why a photo of speakers seized by NYPD did not show them in pairs
FrancoFile considered what would possibly be a power couple with too much power

Smart:
Smock Pot considered the reason a doctor gave for refusing to give a woman a hysterectomy
Funk Brothers looked at some of the sketchy circumstances surrounding the trial of the men who killed Ahmaud Arbery
Ker_Thwap discussed how employers are still able to used forced arbitration and NDAs to hide bad behavior
Circusdog320 shared a different view of a semitruck taking a nap against a guardrail on Deception Pass Bridge
Redh8t had kind words for Wil
dionysusaur had a theory about why swing music had a brief revival in the '90s
Pocket Ninja checked into whether an excavator operator was indeed practicing sorcery

CSB Sunday Morning: Lost & Found
Smart: Otera shared the story of a hungry kitten (with photos!)
Funny: ElPrimitivo told us what it's like to be a snow angel

And from the previous week, because I forgotSchool plays
Smart: With Six You Get Spittle had a wonderful experience when making up for a decision made back in high school
Funny: Winterlight learned that the villain always faces justice

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
New Rising Sun pointed out that a member of Steve Bannon's entourage is embarking on a journey of discovery
bighairyguy asked a question about Kyle Rittenhouse being found not guilty
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That had a question for Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar
Lumbar Puncture explained why the family of a woman who had COVID-19 was correct about the required dose of ivermectin
thatguyoverthere70 figured out which Fark account belongs to Stephen Colbert

Politics Smart:
berylman shared an opinion about radio and TV personalities who get "inspiration" from Fark
Bootleg examined one police officer's complaints about the unfairness of the world
NewportBarGuy argued that Republicans have silly opinions about the current economy
MattytheMouse pointed to Elon Musk as a great example
psilocyberguy reminded us that there's still a big issue to be fixed with USPS even after Louis DeJoy is gone


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
TrollingForColumbine found out there's jealousy among cryptids
RedZoneTuba designed an archery logo for CJ, the child of a Farker
Stantz drew an unusual anatomical model on the chalkboard
RedZoneTuba brought fiddles to a hockey fight
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us the photo album of a couple of horny tourists
Stantz discovered a floating island
Driedsponge gave the young archer a pair of wings
RedZoneTuba found out it was a mistake to gopher the football yet again
Yammering_Splat_Vector arranged a duet
retrophil uncovered a clue about the fate of five tourists who went missing in the 1960s

Fartist FridayLudicrous animals
kabloink created "a Dog Cow with racoon feet and tail"

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Fartist Friday will be taking this holiday weekend off to sleep off a turkey coma, but will return next week with a new theme.

FarktographyFaded
Lovesandwich photographed a defunct wooden grain elevator


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Let's go Bannon

DC's mask mandate to end Monday. Batman inconsolable

Second mushroom picker rescued after six days missing in Olympic National Forest. There's probably a morel to this story

Barbra Streisand attends trial for the murder of Ahmaud Arbery

Marlins get Head from Rays; ocean life is kinky

Patriots score yet another 25 unanswered points against the Falcons

Forty years ago today, a song was released that would become the bane of one person in every area code in the United States

"It's a Wonderful Life" to be performed in the original Klingon. Every time a bell rings, a warrior gets his bat'leth

🎵All is quiet, on New Years Day. The coup is plotted, it's underway. And I've got a memo, a memo, a memo for Pence detailing how to stay. I sent it to him, on New Year's Day🎵

It's fortunate that General Flynn couldn't find somebody at DoD better than Ezra

House orders Gosar to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to his place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension

I assure you we are closed


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although we still haven't determined who exactly buys a $10,000 Gucci XBox. On the Quiz itself, Blackstone makes his way into the 1000 club with a score of 1011, followed by TheMothership in second with 984 and Denjiro in third with 963. No Catchy Nickname makes fourth with 940, and bud jones makes it into the top five with 934.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the choice of vehicle for a 54-year-old Richmond, IN man who led police on a slow pursuit for over an hour, Only 39% of quiztakers knew he had stolen a street sweeper from a nearby construction site to drive through town and peoples' yards before crashing it into the river. No word on street cleanliness post-chase. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the former owner of a pair of diamond bracelets that had recently sold at auction for $8.4 million. 87% of quiztakers knew that the last Queen of France before the French Revolution was Marie Antionette. Anne Boleyn was the second wife of England's Henry VIII I Am I Am and also lost her head at the beginning of the English Reformation, and Mary Tudor was Henry VIII's daughter who tried (unsuccessfully) to reverse the English Reformation and put more power back into the hands of the monarchy.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about this year's Thanksgiving Doughnuts collection. Only 37% of quiztakers knew that you could Pumpkin Pie Doughnuts, Cranberry Orange Doughnuts, Dutch Apple Pie Doughnuts, and Gobbler Doughnuts at Krispy Kreme. Oddly enough, few picked up on the fact that Krispy Kreme uses the "Doughnut" spelling, while the other choice, Dunkin'; spells their product "Donut." 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was also about empty calories - only this time, Krispy Kreme was the wrong choice. 86% of quiztakers knew that Cinnabon was now selling pints of their signature frosting at certain stores and through their app. Because sometimes, just adding more pure sugar to your dish isn't enough - you also need some saturated fat. Saturated with what? In this case, more sugar. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, now's a great to time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know some of the answers. Congratulations once again to this week's winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Nice shot!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-11-17 1:37:29 PM (76 comments) | Permalink

With the holidays and cold weather coming up, people are going to be gathering indoors more with family, friends, HVAC repair technicians, random hookups, unsolicited advice, and cooties. Now is a great time to catch up on any vaccines you need. If you, your kids, your random hookup, your neighbor or your pet iguana are eligible for a booster of the COVID-19 shot of your choice, go get that out of the way so everyone's protected and ready to take on ultra-capitalism season. Eligibility for boosters varies by state, country, and planet, so consult your favorite search engine or medical professional for current requirements - and check for guidance as of TODAY because things are changing rapidly. And while you're checking out COVID vaccines, get any other immunizations you're due for as well. This flu season's shots are available, so shoot up one of those if you haven't already. Maybe you're also due or overdue for some others, like HPV or tetanus - just order 'em up like you're getting tapas with the girls. After all, it's difficult to eat turkey and stuffing when you have lockjaw. 

TL;DR: Get vaccinated because you have enough problems already without getting or giving a preventable disease.

Note: If you buy into any of the anti-vaccine conspiracy theories, please just keep it off of Fark. And keep anti-vax and anti-anti-vax rage out of the Fark NotNewsletter thread too, please. There's enough of that already.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey
________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Back in 2006 when I wrote the first Fark book on news tropes, two of them were Seasonal Articles (omg pot Halloween candy) and something I've shortened to the name PRticle (press release masquerading as actual news).  Turns out one seasonal article fits both categories: AAA's seminal "There Will Be Traffic This X Holiday."

Normally "There Will Be Traffic This X Holiday" rolls out the week of or the week before the holiday in question.  This year it showed up two weeks early, which is possibly a new early appearance record.  The strategy may have worked, too - the news cycle's been talking about it for two weeks straight.  Also of note - there's a huge-ass storm predicted to hit next week Sunday-Tuesday.  Be sure to pack blankets in case you get trapped on the Interstate near Buffalo because they're tossing around the "lake-effect snow" phrase.

Be sure to catch the Fark News Livestream 4 p.m. Thursday with me, Christine, and probably Trevor depending on his Wi-Fi situation, and probably other folks.  The News Cycle was absolutely slammed with weird stuff this week, should be interesting.  We'll be taking next week off due to Thanksgiving and whatnot.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
OtherLittleGuy felt personally called out by a comment on Fark
Sin_City_Superhero hoped to be a happy accident
Jack Sabbath looked at a case where a 28-year-old man died after police used their Tasers on him 53 times
Shostie respectfully commented on the death of one of the screenwriters for "Dawson's Creek"
ObscureNameHere asked what happens if Britney Spears decides to never perform again
X-Geek puts on concerts for turkeys
kudayta went all-in on the gallows humor
CruiserTwelve explained the possible legal defense of a woman who killed a neighbor she suspected of stealing her bouncy house
foo monkey had a bonding moment at the grocery store
cman noticed something about the Farkers who showed up to discuss Something Awful founder Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka's death

Smart:
aagrajag correctly analyzed the claim that a security guard was unwillingly injected with an unknown substance at Astroworld Festival
rickythepenguin shared a story about professionals doing their jobs so that people attending a concert would not get crushed to death
adamatari pointed out that living with a disability isn't always easy, safe, convenient, or financially manageable
OptionC looked at a report on debt from someone who had some numbers and thought they knew how to data
ArcadianRefugee taught us about religion
BafflerMeal shared some information about the seriousness of pressure sores

Politics Funny:
little big man knew what Johnny Cash sang for government propagandist Big Bird
Skwishmitten noticed that the preview on Fark's mobile site seemed to include commentary on the headline
Shostie posted a cartoon that I seriously thought wasn't altered
omg bbq told us why we should stop worrying about Trump administration documents the Jan. 6 committee has been trying to obtain
markie_farkie proved that ignorance of the law is no excuse

Politics Smart:
theteacher suggested going beyond not being ashamed of abortion
dodecahedron shared how important the freedom to make certain choices can be
Redh8t gave an example of why you can't just "eh, that's close enough" with metallurgical testing
Pocket Ninja became a professor at an "anti-woke" college
nmrsnr spoke of the particular anime that was used in the edited clip that Paul Gosar tweeted


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound disagreed with the very premise of this Photoshop contest
clovercat found this gun's lack of firepower disturbing
Driedsponge just said no to a fashion faux pas
Circusdog320 figured out how to fit in with the group
Driedsponge clipped Clippy
Yammering_Splat_Vector was uncomfortable with this attention
RedZoneTuba imagined squirrels as the victims of the Kent State massacre
Stantz showed why you should be careful where you choose to play your air guitar
bugdozer did the distracted boyfriend meme
Yammering_Splat_Vector found Fark's favorite singer

Fartist FridayPoems about time
Yammering_Splat_Vector poetically railed against daylight saving time

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "National Absurdity Day," we'll create ludicrous and mythical creatures using any art medium. A cat with wings, a cow with a beak, a goose with a soul, created especially for this contest. Be sure to tell us about this fantastical creature. All votable entries must be newly-created especially for this contest.

FarktographyShorely You Must Be Joking
MorningBreath got a little crabby in the sand


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Police arrest man with nine outstanding warrants, happy to finally break their streak of only nabbing folks with inferior warrants

There was an unexpected reenactment tonight in front of the Lincoln Memorial

Man fired from steakhouse has beef with management, returns to shank coworkers, skirting security to filet several before cops chuck him in jail, strip-search and grill him at length. Well done

Soup y sailed

Scorpions kill three and injure hundreds in Egypt. Subby didn't know they were still touring

So was her previous record 8?

Eiweiweiweiweiw wuh wuh

Graeme Edge is out there somewhere

Chuck Cunningham has gone up to the attic for the last time

He's indicted, and it feels so good

That's Fed-speak for "We might have to do something before wallstreetbets blows up the economy"

Enormous Pig the size of a large pig blocking traffic in South Carolina

And THIS is why neutral particles never get invited to all the cool plasma blob parties

Pretty sure we all are


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week sharing war stories about injuries during home improvement projects. On the Quiz itself, bud jones takes top honors with a score of 1011 and a ticket to the 1000 club, where we'll continue to serve this candy corn until someone eats it. dionysusaur makes second with 997 and runwiz comes in third with 923. EBens makes fourth place with 921, and Oliver Twisted rounds out the top five with 915.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about dress codes for female athletes. Only 29% of quiztakers caught the story about the handball team from Norway being fined €1500 for wearing shorts and tank tops instead of bikini bottoms and sports bras. I mean, is this an internationally recognized women's sport or the Lingerie Football League? FWIW, The International Volleyball Federation altered its rules nearly a decade ago to ensure women competing in the 2012 Olympics from countries with cultural requirements could meet the standards. The International Racquetball Federation has never required bikini bottoms and even allows skirts or skorts for women.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the Mackinac Bridge. 89% of quiztakers knew that back in the 1960s, someone had the brilliant idea of mixing the Loopers and Yoopers together by building a bridge to connect the Upper and Lower peninsulas of Michigan. I'm guessing this was probably funded by Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana, the three states one would have to drive through in order to get from one part of Michigan to the other without risking a reenactment of the Edmund Fitzgerald on a ferry. I'm sure the opening was quite the party and exchange of cheese recipes, although I'm guessing once the Yoopers actually saw the Detroit Lions play they never bothered crossing again.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was actually the astronomy question. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that Uranus was the third largest planet and seventh from the sun. Mother Very Eagerly Made a Jelly Sandwich Under No Prot- wait a minute, that one doesn't work anymore. Thanks again, Neil deGrasse Tyson. You've ruined my mnemonic device.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz last week was about the World Series. 84% of quiztakers knew that the Atlanta Braves were the new MLB champions, and if you don't, just turn on an Atlanta station because they won't stop talking about it. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Maybe you'll learn a new word ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-11-10 12:33:38 PM (41 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Not much to report this week, other than that the weird news cycle has been incredibly weak lately.  I'm not sure if everyone in media is taking a break this week or it's just the cycle itself.

Anyhow, we do have enough for a Fark News Livestream 4 p.m. ET Thursday with me, Christine, and Trevor.  There have been a few cool science advances that have flown under the radar, I'll be rounding those up and more.  Plus - the return of the annual AAA There Will Be Traffic Article.  It showed up today, about two weeks earlier than usual.  Maybe they're taking a longer vacation than usual.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FormlessOne noticed sequential headlines that seemed like more than coincidence
Redh8t recommended starting every day with a bang
GardenWeasel identified a strange creature caught on a Florida man's trail cam
Carter Pewterschmidt let us know that supply chain issues won't interfere with Christmas dinner in the UK
Man On A Mission is still cleaning eggs and toilet paper off the house and yard
PoweredByIrony was duly impressed by a costume buntz and son once made for Steel City Con  
Mr. Coffee Nerves warned Farkers about an aggressive feature of a somewhat yonic alarm clock
Naido wanted to know more about particular parties that Urmuf Hamer has been to at UC Santa Barbara
vudukungfu's cat refuses to be outdone by any guard dogs
Farking Clown Shoes remarked on the checking outness of a Fark user name
fragMasterFlash knew that some men would feel intimidated by a clock

Smart:
cherryl taggart predicted tragedy for a controversial dorm designed by an amateur architect
aimtastic had first-hand experience getting a $0 paycheck while waiting tables
Kat09tails figured that maybe the solution to a problem with a deadly parasite in a small Texas town is right in front of our faces
TWX was gonna let Janelle Monáe and Heidi Klum finish, but didn't think that they qualified to be queens of Halloween
HugeMistake argued in favor of less sex in movies
MurphyMurphy didn't think that the people with the power to clear up supply chain issues are trying very hard
Driedsponge had advice for anyone who's considering donating their body for research
gameshowhost had an idea of what's wrong with the shipping industry, and also most other jobs

Politics Funny:
Sin'sHero asked a question about Lauren Boebert giving birth in the front seat of her truck
mrshowrules gave us a list of what's in the infrastructure bill that was passed
Notabunny could see why Matt Gaetz might be triggered by the presence of metal detectors at the Capitol
fatassbastard found what Ricky Schroder was looking for
Iamos thought that Four Seasons Total Landscaping could've done a better job on their building's "costume"

Politics Smart:
Mr. Coffee Nerves wanted to help Oroville, CA in their quest to be a constitutional republic
Pocket Ninja had a pretty way of saying that being too wealthy makes people arrogant
Sliding Carp looked at the difficulty many Texans are having with trying to get their licenses and felt that perhaps one Republican proposal has some merit after all
BretMavrik's 12-year-old kid is tougher than a lot of supposed tough guys
common sense is an oxymoron pondered one of life's great mysteries


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Wrongo had McKayla Maroney looking kind of bored
bugdozer found a magazine that Spock says he buys for the articles
Circusdog320 showed us someone else who was captured while rescuing Han Solo
RedZoneTuba had some quality timepieces for sale
dlarsen222 decorated a pumpkin with Mr. Richard Butt
clovercat gave this gymnast something to keep her warm
west.la.lawyer found a better companion for this water witch
west.la.lawyer showed us a macaw slapping a Robin upside the head
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered the terrifying way in which mosquitos are evolving
Circusdog320 ruined this hairstylist's burgeoning career
RedZoneTuba dreamed of Jeannie

Fartist FridayShow & Tell Vol. 13: Orange is the new knack
dothemath shared a portrait of a Houston man with great socks

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: As Daylight Saving Time has come to an end, we'll be creating poems about time. Write a haiku, limerick, free verse, sonnet, etc. - your choice. All voteable entries must be newly-created especially for this contest.

FarktographySoftware Hootenanny 11
common sense is an oxymoron brought us a preening blue bird


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Musk says he'll sell Tesla stock and donate proceeds if the UN can prove $6B from the world's billionaires could solve a hunger crisis. Hey, UN. Curb your Malthusianism

♫ Be our guest, be our guest. Our command is your arrest. It's been clear we've had somebody here who failed a COVID test ♪

Now we get to stick it to the kids

190 nations and organizations pledge to quit coal. No word if they plan to quit coal turkey

Jan. 6 rioter attempts to sell home on Zillow, reveals cache of explosives on premises. Zestimate: 5 years

Larry Trachtenberg to become the only person who ran in the very first NYC Marathon to run in the city's 50th marathon this coming weekend. Damn, he must be tired

Wisconsin healthcare provider no longer wants to team up with someone who could fumble such a simple thing as getting vaccinated

COVID the Buffy slayer

"Fiddler on the Roof" premiered 50 years ago yesterday. Why do we still watch it? TRADITION

It's Infrastructure Week. No, really

Turns out it's not because they're performing Hamlet Act 5 scene 1


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, but only one person gets to claim the 1000 club and access to the leftover candy corn that's been sitting in a bowl since Halloween. kevinatilusa claims the top spot with 1051, followed by spudbeach in second with 993 and Joelogon and der Glitzkrieg tying for third with 936. Oak takes fourth with 933, and Pinner finishes out the top five with 932.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what prompted a 79-year-old Ohio man to shoot his 50-year-old son. Only 28% of quiztakers caught the story about the man who had finally had enough of his son playing guitar. No word on if he was also upset about his son's haircut and lack of a real job.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the hiker who got lost on Mt. Elbert in Colorado, and why he didn't answer his phone when emergency services was calling him. 95% of quiztakers knew that it was because he didn't recognize the number. I mean, personally, if I'm lost on a mountain, I'd probably take the extended warranty on my vehicle they've been trying to reach me about if they would just send some help. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Bootsy Collins and who he used to play bass with. Only 44% of quiztakers recognized "Superbad" as a James Brown classic - and that it was a classic mainly due to the hard funk bassline from Bootsy. But I think we can agree he's definitely at home with George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which sitcom the late James Michael Tyler was best known for. While he had roles on "Just Shoot Me!," "Sabrina the Teenage Witch," and even "Scrubs," in most people's minds he will always be Gunther, the waiter (and later owner/manager) at Central Perk in "Friends." And Rachel will still end up with Ross anyway.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up on the Fark weird news quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Support fellow Farkers in the Farketplace, plus read about Drew's stupid thing
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-11-03 3:12:57 PM (22 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Last week I teased an extra dumb announcement on TotalFark.  It's really dumb.  Wanna know how dumb?  Well, the post is now live as of this NotNewsletter being sent.  Sign up for TotalFark to read it - and if you think that it's not actually all that dumb, email me and I'll issue a refund.  I think it will deliver on dumbness, however. Here's the dumb thread.

At 4 p.m. ET Thursday, the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine, and Trevor.  This week's weird trend is long-form articles that start out normal but then there's a sharp turn.  Plus we've got suggestive Pizza Hut condiments, a Halloween monkey attack involving a stripper, the long strange saga of JFK Jr's no-show in Dallas on Tuesday, and LA Jet Pack Man makes another appearance - sort of.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 

Announcements:

Farketplace!

The Farketplace went live yesterday, and there's already a lot of super cool stuff. What's Farketplace, you ask? Well, this is why you should've read last week's NotNewsletter (and every week's NotNewsletter). Farketplace is a thread where Farkers are invited to share information about their online shops and small businesses. There's a much better explanation in the Farketplace thread, so go check it out, and see all the awesome stuff your fellow Farkers are selling. And if you happen to make and sell, for example, custom platypus bills and tails to attach to car bumpers, or you have a business installing Styrofoam nuns, go tell everyone in the Farketplace thread about how to give you money in exchange for goods and services. Be sure to read the posts from Moderator at the top of the page, and don't go threadjacking in there or you will be kicked to the curb with my car's giant webbed platypus feet. 

________________________ 

Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Cafe Threads made a smart aleck comment about a meteor sighting
kbronsito knew how to stop using real guns in movies
Picklehead threw the topics of a couple of recent sex articles onto a meme
Mr. Coffee Nerves didn't think it was the proper moment to "think of the sex workers"
Driedsponge discussed some of the advantages of having your younger child vaccinated against COVID-19
MusicMakeMyHeadPound made Petey4335's head pound
Gyrfalcon gave an update on a woman who went missing 16 years ago
khitsicker defended the apparent careless treatment of guns and ammunition on the set of "Rust"
Psychopusher had an unsatisfying package
GardenWeasel figured out who made music that Wil Wheaton loved as a teenager, but then turned out to be "a reprehensible bigot"

Smart:
FightDirector explained why banning the use of real guns in movies isn't really a workable idea
Driedsponge discussed what it means to buy an NFT
Benevolent Misanthrope told us about a previous dorm hall designed by an amateur architect billionaire who's donating money to UC Santa Barbara as long as they use his dorm design
thisispete argued that Frank Burns was one of the most unlikable TV characters
markie_farkie had seen evidence that many things that seem too stupid to be real often are, in fact, real
MattytheMouse discussed how NFTs are a way to expand capitalism
Don't Troll Me Bro! had personal experience with the kind of person who might kill someone for pulling into their driveway
ImpendingCynic also experienced the rural American welcome wagon

Fark's 18th annual spooky story thread
Smart
RolandTGunner got a helpful push from a lost friend
Funny: a particular individual wanted to recover some lost booty

CSB Sunday Morning: Stories of trick-or-treating
Smart & Funny: Adolf Oliver Nipples came up with a plan to stop kids who kept egging the house
Funny (honorable mention since the same story won last year): Recoil Therapy spent Halloween surprising people who came to the door

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Im_Gumby considered the fact that one of the kids in the Pfizer vaccine trial for 5- to 12-year-olds swallowed a penny
EnzoTheCoder advised a Farker who was at a bar when people at another table started chanting "let's go brandon"
Pocket Ninja's satirical comment ended up partly being kind of true, so Pocket Ninja has become Fark's The Onion
Cake Hunter explained one child's "adverse event" as part of the Pfizer vaccine trial for 5- to 12-year-olds
WordsnCollision summed up Oregon's struggle against drug cartels illegally growing cannabis and marijuana in Southern Oregon

Politics Smart:
tudorgurl shared what many LGBTQ+ kids are going through at school
kbronsito wasn't impressed by lawyers feigning naivete when caught coming up with pathways for presidents to break laws
keiverarrow explained why so many political rant videos are recorded in the front seat of a car
Dusk-You-n-Me looked at one of the ways in which Elon Musk benefited from taxes while complaining about taxing billionaires
EvilEgg had an idea for how Democrats can get the support of people who like to say "let's go Brandon"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
TrollingForColumbine looked at what's under the hood of Facebook's algorhythm
bugdozer had some special spectacles
kabloink just wanted to see one thing at Facebook
bugdozer had a vendetta against Facebook
WordsnCollision came up with a better rebranding than "Meta"
kabloink's window was broken
Austinoftx made a crappy change to the Facebook logo
RedZoneTuba gave a warning to gun-shy Farkers
bugdozer came up with a fowl plan
Terrapin Bound gave this girl a shiny new twin

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 13: Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana. Show us your favorite artwork you've created featuring the color ORANGE and Tell us about it. All artistic mediums allowed including photos, paintings, jewelry, poetry, Photoshop, drawings, etc. Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contests before. Be sure to TELL us about your art.

Farktography: Spooky Season
Lovesandwich won with a snap from Kings Park Psychiatric Center on Long Island


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Coup coup Khartoum, Mrs. Robinson

Iran out of gas. Should've stopped to refuel earlier

♫ Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now ♫ Scooby Dooby Doo, you're a kangaroo ♫ And stolen from the zoo now ♫

Rams and Broncos swap 2024 draft picks. That's a lot

Orlando signs Mulder to two-way contract, despite agent Scully's skepticism about Magic

Video game company's workaround of Sony's restrictive sexual content policy results in a version either far more innocuous or far more pervy, depending on your perspective

DeJoy says the Postal Service will add 45 more facilities for the holidays, likely will route all mail through all 45 before delivering

Mike Lindell has lost Steve Bannon, and when you've lost Steve Bannon... clearly you're out of booze

Nearly half of American companies say that they don't offer enough compensation and benefits to attract and keep skilled workers

Oh the pain

Red blood cells deserve more credit than we've been giving tehm. Please forgive the type-O


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, but with no one in the 1000 club, we'll just stick the candy corn ice cream back in the freezer for next time. For our top five, TheMothership came out on top with 993, followed by UnrepentantApostate in second with 943 and Oak in third with 941, Denjiro made fourth with 936, and Captain Orr made it into the top five with 927.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Global Bionergies, a company founded to combat pollution. Only 36% of quiztaker knew that their new brand "Last" launched this year was a line of cosmetics utilizing the hydrocarbon isododecane made from a renewable source. I don't think many of us realize that much of our shampoos, cleaning products, and makeup are made from the same dead dinosaur goo that powers our cars and airplanes, so it's a Good Thing for an industry made for easy adaptability to innovate this way. Maybe one day we'll be duct taping idiots to their seats in airplanes powered by renewable energy. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which STI that Australian koalas were getting vaccinated for. Farkers continue to buck the stereotype as 84% of quiztakers knew their STIs well enough to name Chlamydia as the one currently plaguing the poor drop bears. No word on any push for abstinence only education and making contraceptives difficult to obtain, since it seems the Australian government actually wants to solve the problem. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was also about Australia and where the STI-infected koalas generally don't eat. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that Hungry Jack's was the Australian alter ego of America's Burger King. - complete with the flame-broiled Whopper they call a "Big Jack." Fortunately for the Aussies, what they don't have are the creepy The King commercials. I think they use The King for koala abstinence-only education or something. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and how the story behind the influential novel was first presented to the public. 78% of quiztakers knew that Douglas Adams originally wrote it as a BBC radio program before the novelization. Fun side note: in the mid 1980s, it was set to become a Hollywood movie starring Dan Akroyd as Arthur Dent and Bill Murray as Zaphod Beeblebrox. When the deal fell through, Dan Akroyd just so happened to have a script he'd been working on with his buddy Harold Ramis that was close to the sci-fi theme the studio was looking for, and the rest is history.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Halloween fun, Fark movie night, & Farkers earning fabulous cash & prizes!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-10-27 1:25:11 PM (37 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.  

Next week, I'll be announcing on TotalFark perhaps the dumbest possible new feature I've ever considered launching on Fark.  It's really dumb.  And very hypothetical, I'm not sure it would even work or be a good idea.  However I could use some help with it because I suspect a few of you know a thing or two about it.  Yes that's super vague, but one of the perks of TotalFark is finding out about, and getting to have input on, upcoming new features.  You won't want to miss this one.  More about it next week.  

At 4 p.m. ET Thursday, the Fark News Livestream is back.  Things are getting super weird out there, I don't know if it's Halloween or what, but it's all gone plaid.  Come join us for a plethora of strange videos that will leave you speechless, either from shock or laughing too much.  

Also, at 7 p.m. Friday it's the return of Fark Friday Movie Night, Halloween edition.  Turns out "Nosferatu" is indeed in the public domain, so we'll be watching that one.  Filmed 100 years ago, it's a silent movie ostensibly about Dracula with all the names changed.  Plus some additional discussion about "Shadow of the Vampire," a movie about the making of "Nosferatu" with a twist - the actor playing Nosferatu is actually a vampire.  The cast included Eddie Izzard, Willem Defoe, and John Malkovich.  We can't watch all of the Shadow one, but I found some clips on YouTube that are fair game discussing how it handled the filming of "Nosferatu." 
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 

Announcements:

Farketplace!

Back in 2015, Drew gave us a space for a "Fark Bazaar" thread where we invited our brilliant and creative Fark community to post links to their online stores so we could all score some awesome stuff from each other's businesses. We did it again last year, but with the much cooler name "Farketplace." Next week, we're doing another Farketplace! Starting on Tuesday (Nov. 2), you're all invited to link to your Etsy, eBay, Amazon or other online storefronts to sell your goods and services. This includes pretty much anything legal: handmade décor you crafted, jewelry you made, scarves you knitted, hand-sewn footie pajamas, quilts, photography, artwork, hand-blown glass dragons, antiques, demon-possessed dolls... whatever fits. 

We've always known Farkers are a creative bunch, and the previous Farketplace and Fark Bazaar proved that. Just remember that links to your personal businesses are only allowed within the Farketplace thread - linking elsewhere will be considered spam and will be dealt with accordingly. 

And please let us know if the Farketplace threads have been helpful for you, either for selling or for shopping. Fark is not taking a cut from the sales or charging for this, nor are we connected to the businesses Farkers list in the Farketplace in any way, so we only know how successful it is when you tell us. Plus, compliments just make us feel all warm and fuzzy. And if you feel comfortable doing so, go ahead and let everyone know about the great stuff you purchased from fellow Farkers.

It's been a rough couple of years, so let's help Farkers get that bread before the winter holidays. Stock up your online stores and be ready to post photos, descriptions and links in the Farketplace next week.

Obligatory disclaimer: Fark will not be responsible for any transactions or other events to arise out of the Farketplace thread. Your shopping/selling will be considered off-site activities and Fark will not monitor or intervene based on those activities.

________________________ 

Halloween!

Halloween is coming up on Sunday, and we will be having our traditional and untraditional Fark Halloween threads. Be sure to check them out, and for the love of Nutsack Squirrel, please play nice and keep politics out of the discussions. Everyone's blood pressure will thank you.

Here are some Halloween threads that are already available:
Halloween-themed cooking
Your favorite haunted house attractions
Halloween playlist
Woofday Halloween thread
Farktography: Spooky Season (TotalFark for now, will open to everyone Thursday)

*Note: If you find one of these threads closed on or before Halloween but you'd like it to be reopened, please use the link at the bottom of the page that says "Report this link to admins" to request it be opened again

Upcoming Halloween threads to look out for - and feel free to submit your own:
Sunday Morning Music Club
Annual Fark Photoshop jack-o-lantern pumpkin carving contest
Fark's annual Halloween scary story thread

Speaking of Fark's annual Halloween scary story threads, here are all of 'em from the past seven-freakin'-teen years:

2004   2005   2006   2007
2008   2009   2010   2011
2012   2013   2014   2015
2016   2017   2018   2019
2020
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Thatguy!1984 thought of someone who's disappointed human remains found in Florida turned out to be Brian Laundrie's
Chompachangas told us about a possible perk of being a props master
Cultured pointed out what was accomplished when a high school canceled a school play over a gay character
Madman drummers bummers commented on speculation that Laundrie was eaten by an alligator
kbronsito shared a statement about the accidental shooting on the set of a movie starring Alec Baldwin
Dead for Tax Reasons explained why a teacher's contact lenses made it look like he was staring at female students' breasts
Abe Vigoda's Ghost helpfully captioned a still from a dog park video (possibly NSFW)
LewDux hinted that perhaps it makes sense to give your unwanted anti-vax TED talk on an airplane
Shostie had a hunch about the accidental shooting on the set of "Rust"
OtherLittleGuy didn't appreciate certain speculation about Laundrie's death

Smart:
FightDirector gave professional insight into how guns are supposed to be handled on set
Chompachangas told us about a possible perk of being a props master
FightDirector brought up something that could have been a factor in the accidental shooting death on the set of "Rust"
Picklehead showed some road signs that a trucker with failing brakes had to pass before slamming into stopped traffic
Walker believed that a pastor should have been well prepared for the content of a particular school play
scottydoesntknow recalled another movie set that unexpectedly contained dangerous items
Benevolent Misanthrope let us know how a manager should react when payroll has screwed up and not paid an employee twice

CSB Sunday Morning: Strange and unusual relatives
Smart: Miss Stein's granny was a force of nature
Funny: Lamberts Ho Man shared a story about a Skeeter with a head injury

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
EnzoTheCoder had considered what the Taliban will turn to now that Afghanistan is struggling under international sanctions
Gubbo reacted to news that President Joe Biden often uses curse words in meetings
kbronsito defended Alec Baldwin amid calls from Trumpers that he be arrested
Badmoodman explained what was wrong with Donald Trump's statement about Thomas Jefferson
Mad Scientist let us know where we can find proof that testosterone levels in young men are at their lowest in history

Politics Smart:
optikeye looked at one aspect of Texas' argument that they can ignore Obergefell v Hodges
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier explained that there's a proper way to question things
eurotrader argued that state law prohibits a Louisiana woman from suing after her minor son was vaccinated without her permission
Theeng shared how frustrating it is as someone who's had COVID-19 to see people still refusing to get vaccinated
ongbok poked at Trump's varying opinion of what falls under "executive privilege"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed us major avian drama
kabloink found out that this KGB enthusiast is afraid of birds
bugdozer used natural gas to power a windmill (the reaction of the people off to the side is a nice touch)
TrollingForColumbine got help from a self-hating table
Yammering_Splat_Vector made this lorikeet fly
RedZoneTuba illustrated a very easy decision
kabloink recognized a kid who knows how to think for himself
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave Gandalf some grooming
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us what happens when you cross a gharial with a weevil
bugdozer found out what a really bad poker face looks like

Fartist Friday: Abstraction Distractions
jokerscrowbar created Talking Heads in teal and gold

Fartist Friday will be taking next week off.

Farktography:
Off the Grid
Herb Utsmelz gave us a peek at Death Valley


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Colin Powell finally found the WMD

Duluth. Duluth. Duluth is on fire

Vikings were in North America as long ago as 1021, researchers say, which should have been plenty of time to win a Super Bowl, and yet...

On this day in history, in 1805, the Battle of Trafalgar took place, in which Admiral Lord Nelson soundly defeated a combined French and Spanish fleet while being mortally wounded. After being told victory was imminent, Nelson simply said, "Ha ha!"

Pete Rose was just ahead of his time

Sec. Transit Gloria Monday

Doctors say Czech President Miloš Zeman is physically incapable of performing his official duties and unable to name a new prime minister, so his powers have been transferred to the sitting prime minister as part of a system of Czechs and balances

Who knew the casino was owned by the house?

If there's a bustle in your Heathrow, it's just flyers' scream at the new fee scheme

Hidden Women of History: Alexandrina the swindler from Aberdeen, sentenced to Australia at seventeen. A woman of substance, tall, fair, and mighty, she kept on swindling until she was ninety

Lucy in the Sky with Problems


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, with three quiztakers making it into the 1000 club, Fortunately, we have plenty of Digiorno Rising Crust Mac & Cheese Pizza, unfortunately, someone dumped the Thanksgiving Dinner Candy Corn from last week on top before baking it. Maybe some of Megan Thee Stallion's Hottie Sauce will make the carbs tolerable. For scores, Glockenspiel Hero came out on top with 1045, followed by a tie between coscausticevil and bud jones for second with 1004. Zenpanther made third with 969, 1981.911.sc made fourth with 955, and FrancoFile made it into the top five with 940. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which generation of Americans carries the most personal debt. Only 38% of quiztakers recognized that it's Generation X, the slackers who are currently paying the Boomers' Social Security and Medicare while teaching them how cell phones work and trying to keep them off Fox News and Facebook. Gen X'ers have an average personal debt of over $140,000, as compared to a little more than $97K for Boomers and about $87.5K for Millennials. Those Gen Z youngsters (ages 18 to 23) hold about $16K apiece, about $2K of which is credit card debt. Which makes me wonder who gives 18-year-olds credit cards with $2K limits?

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the upcoming memorial for the Edmund Fitzgerald. 93% of quiztakers knew that the ship was lost in a storm on Lake Superior while carrying a load of iron ore from Wisconsin to Detroit. Canada's Great Bear Lake was home to the wreck of the Radium Gilbert, a tugboat used to transport radioactive ore from mines in the Northwest Territories, which remained radioactive for decades after it ran aground in 1980. Probably the most famous shipwreck in Puget Sound is the SS Dauntless, a mosquito fleet steamer that was torn loose from her moorings in a bad storm in 1923 and dashed against a beach across the Sound. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about why multiple Grammy winner Kacey Musgraves' new album Star Crossed will not be in contention for Best Country Album in the next Grammy Awards. Only 57% of quiztakers knew that a few members of the Recording Academy just didn't feel it was "country enough" to fit the category, and so disqualified it. This is the same Academy that in 1991 awarded MC Hammer a Grammy for "Best R&B Song" for "U Can't Touch This," which I don't think anyone in their right mind could call "R&B." 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the newest culinary abomination to come our way in the frozen foods section. 88% of quiztakers had heard about Digiorno's new partnership with Stouffer's for Box-o-Carbs, which they're labeling "Rising Crust Mac & Cheese Pizza" because "Something That Should Only Be Eaten by an Olympic Athlete in Training" wouldn't fit on the label. Either that or Michael Phelps himself said "Nah, that's a little much." 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Your images might've been eaten by a grue
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-10-20 4:25:22 PM (62 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

A quick technical note - a bunch of folks have written in saying they've had trouble getting images on Fark to load.  There's a problem over at DigitalOcean (our image host), images should be back as soon as they fix it.  No idea what it is or when that will be, I assume since they make 100% of their income from being able to deliver data online that they'll put adequate resources towards the problem.  Then again, that doesn't stop Comcast from not doing it.

At 4 p.m. ET Thursday on the Fark News Livestream, Christine, Trevor and I are back.  It's another edition of Where In The World is Trevor as he may have f-ed off to Morocco, or maybe that's next week. Anyhow, this week's topics take a hard turn into Halloween stories - the first "Cops called due to overly-realistic Halloween display" articles have begun to appear.  Plus cocaine hippos and sexy Magikarp cosplay.  The usual ridiculousness.  Come join us! Added bonus - I may have figured out how to green screen.  Here's hoping I don't break anything in the process
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
fragMasterFlash wasn't too sure that Montanans really have a librarian fetish
thatguyoverthere70 explained how goth hospitals work
InfoFreako showed us what happens when you insist on speaking "American"
bekaye revealed who murdered Gabby Petito
markie_farkie described what caused the death of an anti-vax flat-Earther
Louisiana_Sitar_Club let us know what a TikToker's neighbor was so angry about
scottydoesntknow shared a scene from "Goth Hospital"
Benevolent Misanthrope provided proof that we were meant to touch ourselves
EL EM told us about a challenging way to communicate
emersonbiggins was upset when a small plane crashed into houses in Santee, California
TorpedoOrca helped a Farker who couldn't access a tweeted photo of a type of spider whose butt looks like an Oreo

Smart:
Mr. Coffee Nerves wasn't too sure about the ability of many TSA agents to properly assess risk levels
Pocket Ninja suggested some laws to keep towns from being taken over by rental properties
SpectroBoy had an idea for John Deere workers who were on strike
The Googles Do Nothing discussed Eric Clapton's guitar skills as a fellow guitar player
Pocket Ninja had big ideas for education and health care
rosekolodny shared a philosophy about bad people who make good art
G. Tarrant told us about a coworker who thinks they're so valuable to the company that they can ignore the company's vaccine mandate

CSB Sunday Morning: First date stories
Smart: Otera's date kept his hands to himself
Funny: pissnmoan disappointed an old flame

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
EnzoTheCoder warned those of us who buy women's pee funnels at Trump rallies
Sub Human couldn't deny the truth
thorpe helpfully edited a photo of a pro-COVID activist to include his final words
Ghastly told us about struggles
A discussion about abortion restrictions led to nocturn giving valid medical advice

Politics Smart:
Monty_Zoncolan noticed some of the sweet perks of a job nobody showed up for
meehaw commented on Dave Chapelle's recent specials
Night Train to Wakanda discussed the appearance of armed police after a British MP was stabbed to death
eurotrader explained why some people who refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19 are being denied organ transplant surgery
NotCodger looked at an anti-vaxxer lawmaker's claim to be authorized to make medical decisions for a friend


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba scared the years right off this traveler
Yammering_Splat_Vector reunited a celebrity with an old friend
bugdozer put something interesting in this aquarium
Driedsponge showed us who was really behind this Blue Origin stunt
retrophil put something very interesting in a tank
dlarsen222 found a celebrity endorsement deal for William Shatner
dlarsen222 designed a suit that will draw more attention to any press conference
bucket_pup added this face's signature smile
clovercat carried on for Led Zeppelin
bugdozer's people always drive their Ferraris single file to hide their numbers

Fartist Friday: Show & Tell Vol. 11: Happy Accidents Vol. Two
thespindrifter's eye just needed a drop of water

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Abstraction Distractions. We'll be creating specially for this contest an abstract work using any art medium: drawing, painting, Photoshop, photography, MS Paint, macaroni and glue on cardboard, etc. Use shapes, forms, colors to create a view beyond physical reality. You've just crossed over into...The Fartist Zone.

Farktography: Louder than Life
Herb Utsmelz showed us that trains have changed a lot since 2004


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

USDA dropping rabies vaccine packets coated with bait in eastern Tennessee to fool unsuspecting racoons into eating them and vaccinating themselves. The next plan is to drop Pfizer vaccine packets wrapped in bacon on Tennessee cities

Shortage of glass means supply chain is half empty

The Merriam-Webster word of the day for October 14 is "cabal," as in: "By inadvertently throwing a freshly-caught fish into a basket, Michael Jordan accidentally created the sport of bass cabal"

Between June and September, COVID-19 accounted for 90,000 deaths among independent virus researchers

Smeggin' Thee Stallion

Men charged with stealing $1.5 million worth of rented textbooks from Amazon and selling them for cash. Police have not recovered either of the books

It's going to be hard to run with your Chubb out

Halloween Ends set to be the one where Michael Myers refuses to wear a mask

Caine mutinies against reports of his retirement

Wasbro

You're not a real bodega cat until you refuse to move for anyone

List of wineries you can take your dog to, because you're going to need a designated driver

New Ford taillights let you know when you're too loaded to drive


Beyond Fark

We're sad to have lost Farker VOCSL5, who died unexpected at the age of 37. She was known on Fark for her kindness, empathy and intelligence. She lived in the Twin Cities area, and loved cats and Japanese language and culture. You can read VOCSL5's memorial thread here. Our hearts go out to VOCSL5's family and loved ones. 


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, with a higher average score than usual. However, no one made the 1000 club, and I'm gonna assume that's because they all thought I was serving candy corn. That's okay, I'll leave it out in the bowls for next week. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 946, followed by FrancoFile in second with 939 and leftofcool just behind with 937. Glockenspiel Hero came in fourth with 929, and maddog2030 made it into the top five with 925. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you can go to see the sites where the first two Dred Scott cases were decided, which rank among the worst parts of American history - but parts which should never be forgotten. Only 27% of quiztakers remembered that Dred Scott had been taken back to Missouri, and was suing for his freedom on the basis that since his owner had taken him to Illinois, a free state, for an extended period of time, by law, he was therefore free - before the Supreme Court told him that Black people had no right to sue since they weren't citizens.  So if you're ever in St, Louis and want to see the famous arch known as the Gateway to the West, be sure and check out the other historical sites within the same park. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the most-searched term on Bing. You know, that search engine Microsoft started? Bing? The one they tried every way in the world to market, including sponsoring MTV's "Ridiculousness"? Bing? Anyone? Anyway, 83% of quiztakers knew that Google thought it would be great for their defense in an antitrust suit to bring up the fact that most people when faced with Microsoft's IE and Edge browsers see the default start page and say "WTF is this" and type "Google" into the search bar. Seriously, Google's lawyers thought that this was a defense against their monopolistic practices, It's likely not going to prove what they thought it would.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about which language had 26 words added to the Oxford English Dictionary this year. Only 48% of quiztakers recognized the popularity of South Korea in Western culture and the fact that some Korean words are coming into fashion. FWIW, "banchin" is a small side dish, like a vegetable; "Hallyu" is a word for the current "wave" of popularity of Korean culture worldwide - think "New Wave" music aka "the British Invasion" only with fewer extraneous vowels; and "manhwa" means printed comics, whether comic books or the funny papers. So enjoy your banchin while reading some hallyu banhwa Gangnam Style.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about those poor gamers we forgot all about during the Great Facebook Outage of 2021. 83% of quiztakers knew that Oculus Quest users couldn't access their VR games during the outage because the devices require the user to be logged into Facebook in order to play. So not only could they not battle facehugger aliens in "Half Life: Alyx" or dragons and Daedra in Skyrim VR, they couldn't even go onto Facebook to complain about it, and had to scramble to remember their Twitter passwords and then realize they didn't have any followers to whom they could vent their frustrations. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Restless WHAT syndrome?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-10-13 1:47:05 PM (31 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Warm weather is coming to an end in Kentucky.  Six weeks ago I made a commitment to my cycling friends that we'd do an outdoor ride every day that the weather was nice.  I've since had to back down from that commitment because pretty much every day has been nice.  It's been a glorious fall so far.  Hope yours has been as well.

On the Fark News Livestream (4 p.m. ET Thursday) this week we've got me, Christine and Trevor back for another roundup.  We've got an alien trifecta, an update on our ongoing national fish stick crisis, the most insane dance routine you've ever seen from 75 years ago, and Halloween madness has finally started hitting the news cycle.  Plus, restless anal syndrome returns.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
EnzoTheCoder explained why Facebook employees were going to the office instead of working from home
NewportBarGuy proved to be unaffected by any of the rumored mobile phone network outages
born_yesterday defended getting cars from car vending machines
fragMasterFlash cleared up aleister_greynight's confusion about a casual acronym in a Fark headline
I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account got an idea from Angry Drunk Bureaucrat
BigKaboom took a guess at Facebook's next acquisition
Schrodinger's toilet trained cat pointed out the trouble with wearing shorts
Im_Gumby appreciated a nice set of Fark headlines
NewportBarGuy knew what one expert was doing to find Brian Laundrie
wingnut396 defended someone who got into an argument after a car accident

Smart:
Ivo Shandor knew why Facebook's little outage was screwing up so many other websites
mgh shared a story about a neighbor getting sued after an intruder injured himself during a burglary
Bootleg noticed a problem with "COVID's mysterious two-month cycle"
Warthog told us about having a smart and awesome kid
EvilEgg had an idea of how students should respond after being suspended for protesting sexual violence
enry broke down the four-month COVID cycle
Mr. Coffee Nerves had a creative way of explaining COVID surges (and seasonally appropriate)

CSB Sunday Morning: The most memorable bit of trouble you got into as a kid
Smartvudukungfu explained why you should be careful which of your inventions you patent
FunnyMax Wedge got in trouble just running an errand for Grandpa

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
dr_blasto agreed with diIdo tontine's opinion of hyperbole
King of Monkeys sang a song for Nikki Haley
I Browse recognized the kind of evil that drove a man to murder his pharmacist brother
Officer Barrelroll didn't mind certain technological limits
mrshowrules thought Charlie Kirk was overreaching

Politics Smart:
Nicholas D. Wolfwood suggested that Democrats should emulate Mitch McConnell
AdmirableSnackbar had a suggestion for how Senator Joe Manchin could solve his quandary
Znuh described how different hospitalized COVID patient attitudes were early in the pandemic
Purple_Urkle had an idea for how to ensure safe and secure voting during a pandemic
disaster bastard pointed out that Republicans have normally had a lobbying group help them determine strategy


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
dlarsen222 designed an award for officers who were not very protective of the Capitol and lawmakers on January 6
bugdozer showed us how curiosity killed the butterfly
artifishy's cool cat got ready to pounce
clovercat awarded this ribbon to less-than-heroic Capitol officers
TrollingForColumbine picked out a soda jerk for you, not an ordinary soda jerk for you
clovercat accidentally caught a reflection in this ancient Greek mirror
bugdozer noticed this guy checking out the mirror
Herb Utsmelz opened a drugstore for nighthawks
bugdozer found a statue for all you weirdos
verchad sent this tiger to live in the wild

Fartist Friday: Art that "explains" unexplainable events
kabloink solved the mystery of how socks keep going missing

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell Volume 11: Happy Accidents, Volume Two. A year ago we had Volume One and now an encore. SHOW us an art project that came out different than expected but became a Happy Accident & TELL us about it. An interesting oops photo blur, an errant paint stroke that made it better. All artistic mediums allowed including photos, paintings, jewelry, poetry, Photoshop, drawings, etc. Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contests before. Be sure to TELL us about the art.

Farktography: Point, Shoot, Post
This one ended in a tie with two beautiful photos: MorningBreath's trawler at sunrise and common sense is an oxymoron's dragonfly at rest


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Not news: 74-year-old Sikh man skips London Marathon. News: 74-year-old Sikh man skips London Marathon

Facebook has solved its problems with handling controversial content

France sends ambassador back to Australia after row. That's really far. I hope they let him rest his arms for a bit first

Arizona reports over 2000 additional cases, but at least it's a dry spike

Lebanoff

Star light, star bright, falling star is seen in flight. I wish it may, I wish it might, not hit me in the head tonight

Happy Yankees elimination day

"If it's Todd Akin, cancer has ways to try to shut that whole thing down"

Forbes 400 moves Trump to 404: wealth not found

3M hit with $8.2M verdict, will now be known as -5.2M

A coat designed to allow you to cuddle with your cat, gives them access to your vital organs for when they want you to know they are done cuddling

California has a growing market for droids that understand the binary language of moisture vaporators


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although for the time being I'll just be taking off my shoes at the door rather than getting a new doormat. The 1000 club remains empty again this week, but it's no tragedy since I only have basic vanilla ice cream, On the Quiz itself, FrancoFile came out on top with 928, followed by supareedy in second with 921 and Mithraic_bullshiat in third with 919. Data made fourth with 914, and JasonOfOrillia worked his way into the top five with 909.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which Canadian brand would be outfitting Canada's Olympic teams for the next two Winter and Summer Games. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that Lululemon was the only option that was a Canadian brand. Burberry is a British luxury brand, and H&M is Swedish. I guess we'll find out what an entire Olympic team decked out in yoga pants looks like when they debut their winter uniforms next year.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the Danish artist who delivered two blank canvasses to a local museum who had commissioned his work. 81% of quiztakers knew he had titled his "work" "Take the Money and Run." Interestingly, the work was supposed to be a reproduction of his earlier work that used actual currency to show the disparity of average incomes between Austrian and Danish workers, so this makes the new piece either a meta commentary on late-stage capitalism or the museum really does have a point here in wanting their money back.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about where to get cinnamon rolls topped with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Only 60% of quiztakers knew that this was a new item available at Krispy Kreme, while I'm guessing the other 40% eat breakfast at someplace at least moderately more healthy, like Taco Bell. Personally, I think it's only a matter of time before the Cinnamon Roll Chicken Sandwich. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about that show we've all been binging on Netflix. 89% of quiztakers knew that "Squid Game" was made in South Korea. And for the other 11%, it's overdubbed and quite watchable. I mean, it's either that or stare at Oscar Isaac's tallywhacker in "Marriage Story." (Seriously, watch "Squid Game.")

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
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