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Fark NotNewsletter: We're HOW Farking old?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-02-09 12:15:20 PM (84 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week was well.

Sometime this week 23 years ago I posted the first link on Fark.com.  For 18 months prior, the only content had been a picture of a squirrel with large balls that a friend emailed me the day I registered the domain.  I don't remember the exact day but one of the first few links was from Feb 12th and that wasn't put up on day one.  For the first few days I only posted one or two links.  It's interesting reviewing the links from 1999, warning that dotcom 1.0 was probably a scam that would end in a crash and hey this Bin Laden guy might be up to no good.  Both were contrary opinions back in 1999.

A couple years ago I wrote a book manuscript about all things Fark that I had intended to get out the door for Fark's 20th anniversary, but life intervened and I missed the deadline. However, the book is written, done, and edited, and things are still happening!  So now I'm shooting for Fark 25, which will be in a couple years.   I also have a couple extra chapters to write.

Want to read the chapter about Fark in 1999?  Hear about the first Fark party ever?  Reminisce about what the internet was like before social media rage engines and disinformation?  I've posted the Fark Year One chapter on TotalFark hereSign up for TotalFark today, read it, and let me know what you think - excellent suggestions might even get included in the final draft!

Speaking of TotalFark, thanks again to everyone who has ever subscribed.  We never would have made it this far without your support.  And we won't without your support going forward, so if you're looking for an excuse to pull the trigger, now's the time! Plus, my birthday was Monday and the only thing I asked for for my birthday is more TotalFark subscribers.

At 4 p.m. Eastern Thursday on the Fark News Livestream - it's me, Christine, Dill and Lucky again with a roundup of what I thought was the weirdest under-the-radar stuff that appeared in the news cycle.  Florida really pulled its weight this week.  Plus, a follow-up on the Dutch plan to throw a hundred thousand eggs at Jeff Bezos' superyacht, grenades in butts, and nuclear fusion.  And more!
________________________

End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
WalkingCarpet started to feel like a slacker
coffeetime was surprised by a bad headline choice
chewd understood the desire to ask a prospective landlord to provide references from previous tenants
Demetrius expressed displeasure with a instructional video for a "men's massager"
Colour_out_of_Space seemed defensive while discussing "AI-assisted" pictures of what cartoon characters would look like in real life
Al Roker's Forecast made an observation about train derailments
fragMasterFlash wimped out
Tr0mBoNe gave advice to anyone who needs to move a water heater
Priapetic pointed out the hypocrisy of complaining when cops get a description of a white suspect, then question the only Black guy
NathanAllen explained why so many of us don't appreciate the value of NFTs

Smart:
koder had a suggestion for a couple who were told by a Property Owners Association that the house they rented couldn't be rented
offacue pointed out that pissed-off Rotterdammers who plan on egging Jeff Bezos' yacht are just being helpful
Xythero told us about a crappy Dunkin' Donuts district manager
austerity101 addressed the apparent confusion over why people are leaving Spotify
hardinparamedic let us know that Spotify lost more than just a few artists and subscribers
steklo helped a lost soul get home
bigfire was inspired by a man who requested references from a potential landlord
HugeMistake gave advice on how not to make a huge mistake

CSB Sunday MorningWinter Adventures
Smart: jimjays shared a story about getting a ride from a kind family after Mom's car broke down in a blizzard
Funny: GRCooper's first ski trip was a resounding success

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja colorfully described Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin
Don't Troll Me Bro! showed that the truckers protesting in Canada are ruthless criminals
Eightballjacket pointed out that Canada is copying the U.S. yet again
Ass_Master_Flash revealed the next COVID "cure" anti-vaxxers will go for when they run out of wormwood
Dave and the Mission did the math on vaccination statistics broken down by demographics

Politics Smart:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat thought perhaps Republicans were right to call January 6 events "legitimate political discourse"
Pocket Ninja shared the thought process farmers will go through when it's time to vote again
Biscuit Tin discussed the anti-vaxxer mentality
OldRod considered how Donald Trump must feel when the House Select Committee investigating the January 6 attack holds hearings
Madison_Smiled felt wistful after reading a Fark headline


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
derfiticulum fixed the complaint from the guy who was featured on a Nirvana album cover when he was a baby
RedZoneTuba found a strange place to practice for this Olympic event
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that fungi are actually able to communicate with one another
samsquatch saw some street sweeper sweeping swiftly
Octafrye cracked the code
BrutonGaster showed a woman being assaulted by a storm
samsquatch decided that it puts the mask on its face or else it gets the hose again
Yammering_Splat_Vector investigated The X-Single-Files
Yammering_Splat_Vector helped nature find a way
RedZoneTuba dumped on a new neighbor

Captions:
From Caption death:
The Irresponsible Captain had some bad news
Grumpy Cat just needed a moment of your time
bearded clamorer had a special request

Fartist FridayOdes to our favorite rodents
BrutonGaster wrote a poem about some cute little pink nudists

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: It's time for the Clash of the Titans: In honor of the upcoming Superb Owl, create a matchup of two mighty internet memes such as O RLY? Owl versus Nyan Cat, This Is Fine Dog versus Keyboard Cat, etc. All art programs allowed, including Photoshop, MS Paint, Draw, etc.

FarktographyTake 2
Warthog trimmed the Christmas tree

Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Moderna's Spikevax receives full approval from FDA, Buffy

Man killed trying to fight the politics tab

Man steals $1,442 worth of fragrances from a beauty store. Police suspect his hideout is in the olfactory district

Papa Bear said this abandoned Arctic weather station is too cold. Mama Bear said this abandoned Arctic weather station is too hot. Baby Bear said this abandoned Arctic weather station is just

Elizabeth marks 70 years on the throne. She should eat more fibre

The thrill of Lorem Ipsum, the agony of Dolor Sit Amet

Massive Legend of Zelda overworld map constructed of Lego still won't keep you from burning the wrong bush and having to pay for the damages to that guy's stupid door

Baby, if you've ever wondered / Wondered whatever became of me / I'm no longer on the air in Cincinnati / Howard Hesseman, RIP

Mitch McConnell: "We have both types of people in our office: Anglo and Saxon"

Germany shuts down Russian gas pipeline permanently

DJ T spins beats that are only sick if you test too much

"The bank doesn't seem to care" as thousands of dollars taken from Baton Rouge bank accounts following check washing surge. I guess that's what they mean by no-interest checking

Bidets? I'm confused, for so long, it's not true

Dr. Oz challenges Dr. Fauci to debate him "doctor to doctor." That's the joke


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although the ice has now melted and it's in the 50s. On the Quiz itself,  Brewster came out on top and is in the 1000 club with 1038, followed by TheMothership in second with 992 and VooDoo_Blonde in third with 944. Booklet made fourth with 938, and BilliamJ and norm1996 tied for fifth with 916.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about art history. Only 33% of quiztakers knew that the Boticelli painting "Man of Sorrows" that just sold for a whopping $45,8 million was his depiction of a weeping Jesus. For you youngsters out there, a "painting" is like an NFT except you don't have to remember a password for a USB stick you left in a drawer three years ago and it doesn't lose its value when people realize they've been conned.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the world's longest living land critter. 95% of quiztakers knew that "Jonathan", who has pictures taken 132 years apart, is a giant tortoise from the Seychelles who was brought to Tonga by a British colonial administrator in 1882 as a young whippersnapper, only about 50 years old then. In an interview, he credited his long life to watching the ladies at the beach every day and a shot of Irish whisky each night. Or something. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the new White House cat. Only 58% of quiztakers knew that "Willow" is the name bestowed on the tabby who was presumably brought in to keep the dogs in line and give Biden something to stroke when he's on video calls with Putin. I'm guessing Willow will also be placed on mousing duties in the basement now that Stephen Miller is no longer there to hunt them at night.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the new name for the Washington Football Team. 93% of quiztakers knew that after an exhausting search spanning several years and dozens of trademark attorneys, they've gone with... the Commanders.  Who are obviously outranked by Washington Generals, the team paid to lose to the Harlem Globetrotters, but at least they're above Biden's dog Major. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know some of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Patent trolls and swearing go hand in hand
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-02-02 3:17:55 PM, edited 2022-02-02 3:34:09 PM (33 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week is going well.

First off - the new TotalFark feature discussion didn't happen last week, however it's here now as of today. And guess what - I accidentally mainpaged it.  Good times.  Anyhow, that's a great example of the kind of new feature conversations we have on TotalFark on occasion.  It's always great to get input from folks who often have better ideas than I do. If you don't have TF already, first quarter is a fantastic time to sign up for TotalFark because ad revenues are always abysmal after Christmas, and it would greatly help my sanity and Fark in general if you signed up.  Thanks to everyone who has already.

At 4 p.m. Thursday it's the Fark News Livestream.  We'll do mostly silly stuff, but people have been asking me lately what the hell is Putin up to.  I haven't had an answer until this week - I finally figured it out.  Turns out he's not hiding anything, either.  We'll lead with what his real goal is, then quickly diverge into ridiculousness including monkeys, ice storms, and a rabbit hole round-up of terrible NFL Super Bowl music videos.

OK, here's a long one for you this week.  Apparently yesterday an EFF podcast dropped discussing my involvement helping Adam Carolla and Marc Maron fight off a patent troll a few years back.  Except it didn't tell quite the entire story.  First, the relevant transcript text:

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Danny: So this was pretty early on in podcasting. Not like now we have like thousands and thousands, but it was, it was far enough along that people were kind of making a name and getting pretty successful about it, like worth, hitting them up for a few dollars. So you decided to fight back, right. And, and like, how did you strategize? How did you decide what that looked like? Cause you didn't want to get into a court case, right?

Marc: It was sort of a slow, weird process because we wanted to fight back. But we knew that not unlike a divorce, that the shakedown was, they will bleed you until you gave them this base amount. So the assumption they made is like, here's where all the money is. But very few of us were making that much money. Certainly not enough money to even afford, you know, half of a lawsuit that it would take. So we ended up meeting with this consultant guy, you know, a bunch of us, again at Carolla's garage, who was like the troll warrior. Like, you know what you remember that guy's name.

Brendan: It was Drew Curtis, who was, uh, uh, from the website FARC [sic].

Danny: Oh, wow. Drew.

Marc: Yeah. He sat us down the group of us and said, all right, it's going to cost about 300 grand. I got a plan. And we're like, wait, what? We can't, I can't afford it. You know? And then ultimately what happened is because Brendan and I had worked with you guys  to raise money for some other stuff you were doing, we had a relationship with you. And I thought I said to Brendan, I said, this has to be in their purview to take this on and we should make them aware of what's happening in our industry around this. And it was like a hail Mary pass. We were like, come on EFF you got we got to help us. And that was the, that was the strategy. And when you guys took it up, we were like, man, I'd tell you it pays to have friends. I tell you.

Cindy: Well, we were so happy to do it.

-----

So I've gotten a bunch of people asking me why I charged these guys $300k for consulting that they apparently didn't need. Here's what really happened:

First off, I didn't charge them $300k.  I didn't charge them anything.  And I gave them the battle plan they eventually used to win.

Back in the early days of podcasting, a troll hit a bunch of podcasters on a stupid patent.  Meanwhile, Adam Carolla's partner Mike August hit me up because he saw my TED talk on patent trolls and was wondering if I might help.

I spent hours reviewing the troll's patent with my friend and IP attorney Tim Wilson looking for attack vectors.  The main question that stuck out to me was why the troll had chosen to target this specific group of podcasters.  Because the target selection didn't make sense - two were huge at the time, the rest were successful but there didn't appear to be any Google search that would put all these podcasters on the same hit list for a patent troll.  After digging into the patent we figured it out - the troll appeared to think they had a patent on downloadable lists and all of the target podcasts had one on their own websites.  So now we had a viable plan of attack.

Downloadable lists is an incredibly stupid patent, and we figured that would be an easy one to vaporize, so we called Tim's friend at the EFF to see if we could get them involved.  We had a conference call on a car ride from the airport to SXSW, discussed all the details about how weak this patent was, and so on.  Gave them the entire plan and asked for their help.

And the EFF passed on it.  Didn't want to get involved.  Tim was on the call as well, I texted him today as I was writing this to make sure I hadn't gotten that wrong - he confirmed it.  I pulled some old emails and found out what happened next was interesting. So with the EFF route out of play, Tim ran the idea through his network and found that both Jones Day and Turner Boyd were willing to take the case pro-bono.  After a second meeting with the EFF, suddenly they were interested again.

I met with the podcasters in person, outlined the plan, explained what it would probably cost.  They took the plan, the EFF joined in, crowdfunded it, and the rest is history.  I helped hype it where I could on Fark, but they carried the offense the rest of the way.

Anyhow, that's what went down.  I'm not trying to take credit for the win, just trying to clarify what really happened.  The short vague reference on the EFF podcast seemed to lead some people to believe that I scammed everyone out of $300k with useless advice. It was $0 and what I gave them was the battle plan they actually used.

Maybe they still would have beaten the troll without me and Tim figuring out where specifically to strike the patent troll, building the attack plan, pulling a reluctant EFF back to the table, and meeting with the podcasters in L.A. to give them the plan.  Or maybe the podcasters wouldn't have beaten the troll without all that and everyone would've been living in a cardboard box six months later.  Who knows.  Anyhow, I'm glad they won. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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End Drew transmission
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Quick note: The SwearJar will be available to all Farkers starting today! If you're wondering what the f#@k that is, you can find out about the SwearJar here.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Notabunny explained why most of us haven't heard about all the professional athletes who are supposedly dropping dead
UltimaCS found the "beautiful girl" with "tiny breast and thick legs" requested in a job posting
oldernell revealed how the supposed sudden deaths of "over 100 professional athletes" is even scarier than we thought
ryant123 called out Reuters on their tweet showing small fires being set on railroad tracks to keep them from freezing over
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle reacted to a story about a Catholic priest who called off a middle school basketball game when two men wouldn't wear their masks
markie_farkie explained that toots in a jar don't count as NFTs
xanadian spoke Britishly about a dilapidated British house
scottydoesntknow gave more information about the strange wording in a job ad
Warthog let us know when we wouldn't have to worry about the type of accident that happened with an F-35
Someone Else's Alt laid rest to further discussion of Brian Laundrie

Smart:
MBFGeek offered advice on selling NFTs
bostonguy shared a story about a breakup
EvilEgg talked about doing free work for the exposure
bughunter discussed a list of 11 signs that you drink too much alcohol
Pocket Ninja had a lot to say about minimalism
demonfaerie explained that Neil Young never expected Spotify to choose his music over Joe Rogan's podcast
shastacola pointed out something that two artists who pulled their music from Spotify have in common

CSB Sunday MorningYour first time ... driving a car
Smart: wademh attempted to back a trailer into a campsite at the age of 14
Funny (tie): vudukungfu had a run-in with the long arm of the law
Funny (tie): cherryl taggart's mom was trusting or daring or both

Politics Funny:
Kat09tails had a sad goodbye for a Washington state trooper who died of COVID after he retired early rather than get vaccinated
Chariset made a dirty economics joke when people found themselves unable to cancel their Spotify accounts
ralphjr was making sure it was all worth it
mrshowrules was interested in stigginit to Spotify
Mr. Coffee Nerves described what happened to Trooper Robert LaMay

Politics Smart:
OldRod was unimpressed by what Glenn Greenwald recently referred to as "a grave attack on press freedom" Side note: While looking for the original of Greenwald's tweet, I found that he's often concerned about attacks on press freedom
mrshowrules suggested ways of canceling a subscription or getting a refund you're due
DoBeDoBeDo thought about unvaccinated NC state workers getting extra time off to take weekly COVID tests
turboeli discussed the harm that Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill would cause
The Third Man considered a sign on a Jimmy John's location claiming they were temporarily closed because of a labor shortage


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound welcomed the new sheriff
Yammering_Splat_Vector flew this statue to a familiar scene
Yammering_Splat_Vector shared Escher's little-known wood engraving
Yammering_Splat_Vector used radar domes as a fabric pattern
samsquatch's office assistant went for a swim
Yammering_Splat_Vector shared some salty kisses
RedZoneTuba remembered what it was like when Chris Christie was the governor of New Jersey
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed Vladimir Putin riding yet another thing
Terrapin Bound vividness to this photo
Wrongo took a trip to the real Springfield

Fartist FridayDrawings a real or fantasy dinosaur
thatguyoverthere70 depicted an interspecies romance

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of Groundhog Day this week, we'll write Odes to our favorite rodents. Marmots, muskrats, meeces... maybe even a certain squirrel. All poetry forms allowed and all poems must be created just for this contest.

FarktographyYou Better Have a Good Explanation for This
This contest ended in a tie between orionid and orionid with "In the Beginning..." and "Death Valley Self Portrait"


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Anyone who touched macaque better see a doctor

It's National Florida Day, so strip naked, put on Crocs, go outside, attack an alligator that was caught in your septic tank then use the Stand Your Ground defense when you're arrested

Feral hog's femoral feast renders hunter ephemeral

The Merriam-Webster word of the day for January 26 is 'bamboozle' as in: "Some plants require very specific soils, but bamboozle grow just about anywhere"

On this day in history, in 1302, Dante was exiled from Florence, possibly because he wasn't even supposed to be there that day

Rumors of Tom Brady's retirement may have been inflated

🎶🎶 Hey Hey, My My / Take my songs off Spotify / Joe Rogan's dangerous / and people could die/ Hey Hey My My 🎶🎶

On the heels of Biden's ice cream scandal, now he needs to replace Breyers

Tennessee elephants fear Maus, vote to ban them

Problem: Too many people are cancelling your subscription service because you cancelled Neil Young. Solution: cancel cancellations

Blood for the blood god, more blood for the doughnut

To ignite and engage, I distill with my cats in a cage

Mirror spreadin' out / Thrusters powered down / About that dish inside Lagrange / And you know what I'm talkin' about / Just gotta wait for it to calibrate / On that Webb, sights new and strange / They got a lot of nice views

Anti-vaxxers more prone to depression. So are the people who have to listen to them


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I still don't know how a goat is going to help with repairs to the neighbor's tool shed. On the Quiz itself, we had three people make it into the elusive 1000 club, where I'll be serving seco de cabrito for no particular reason. The Third Man came out on top with 1036, followed by rick42 in second place with 1026 and Evildog in third with 1009. richh99 and Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy tied for fourth, barely missing out with a score of 999, and spudbeach made fifth with 995.

The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was about the weird persona of Percy Thrillington, who was an early attempt at viral marketing. Percy placed classified ads in UK papers detailing his comings and goings in an attempt to generate buzz. When "Thrillington" was finally released, the few people who bothered with it discovered that it was a jazz re-imagining of "Ram", which only 50% of quiztakers knew was the only album attributed to Paul and Linda McCartney. Fun fact, Percy Thrillington got himself a Twitter account to help promote the re-release of "Ram", which came with a free copy of "Thrillington". 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the 555.55 carat "Enigma" jewel that's about to go on sale. 77% of quiztakers knew that this was a black diamond, marketed as "possibly from a meteor" although most gemologists say it's just a rock from the Earth. To give you an idea of 555.55 carats, that's a hair under a quarter pound. If you've seen the famous Hope Diamond at the Smithsonian, it's only 45.52 carats. This is a ridiculously large rock, so don't be surprised if Kanye buys it in an attempt to woo Kim back from Pete Davidson.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the rollout of McDonald's new meatless burger. Only 48% of quiztakers knew they were actually all in on the silly name "McPlant", which sounds like Grimace went undercover to infiltrate the Hamburglar's theft ring. Hey McDonald's, even Fark quiztakers agree my idea for "McPossible '' is better. Call me!

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the celebration of fromage on January 20th. Turophiles that we are here at Fark, 94% of quiztakers recognized that fromage is French for "cheese". Although I'm not sure if that's what French people say in their group photos. It doesn't seem like it ends in a smile, and then they have to put "le" in front to maintain grammar. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: May contain nuts
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-01-26 2:47:29 PM (39 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone hope your week's been well.

The TotalFark signups continue apace - gotta tell you it's a huge relief given how sucky ad revenues are in January.  Keep it up, folks - I'd even consider doing a stunt if anyone's got any good ideas.  I haven't deleted the PolTab in awhile.  Open to other suggestions if anyone's got some.

Speaking of TotalFark, got a new feature suggestion I'd like input on. This one requires some nuance, however it likely wouldn't take long for us to add.  Want to know what it is?  TotalFark Discussion thread coming tomorrow - sign up for TotalFark today and you can tell me what you think.

At 4 p.m. Thursday it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Dill, Christine, and Lucky for sure, others TBD.  It's been a week so weird that I can't effectively tease the stories for fear of getting this NotNewsletter accidentally caught in content filters. Includes "you froze your what off" and odd complaints about a German dictator's appearance in an adult video game.  It goes downhill from there.  Come join the madness.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
mikebellman explained what happened to Louie Anderson
KC Dutchman told us how COVID-19 defeated Meat Loaf
i_dig_chicks described what happened when AT&T Stadium opened the doors to a horde of fans waiting to get in
Badmoodman shared more information about the oldest bridge in the world
RolfBlitzer reacted to information about an earthquake in the Dead Sea region
I_Am_Weasel asked a question about a lawsuit against an Arkansas prison
Dustin_00 summed up a couple's racist verbal attack on a family
chewd shared the story of Auntie's Lincoln versus six to eight deer
LordOfThePings fixed an image where the photo was annoyingly reversed
median eminence knew what a truck driver should do after getting 22 tires punctured while trying to avoid a toll

Smart:
hubiestubert discussed Meat Loaf's unwillingness to be "controlled"
KC Dutchman told us how COVID-19 defeated Meat Loaf
King Something gave advice on what to do if a police officer asks you to take a field sobriety test
Jim_Callahan had notes for Joss Whedon
Carter Pewterschmidt compared how roadside sobriety tests are often done in different countries
Derek Force shared with us how a friend smells
RTOGUY explained why Carhartt clothes always seem to run big
Lsherm told us how things went when the company made employees work at the office three days per week

CSB Sunday MorningThat time you auditioned and/or performed onstage
Smart: HarveyBrooks got a taste of rock stardom
Funny: vudukungfu was an eighth-grade improv genius

Politics Funny:
no1curr stole the Oath Keepers' idea of sending "messages in cursive to prevent digital reads"
Nadie_AZ sang about what happened to make Dan Crenshaw the kind of person who berates 10-year-old girls
bloobeary explained why Donald Trump started yammering about his border wall when Sean Hannity said about Joe Biden, "You keep banging your head against the wall. Why would you expect a different result?"
Glorious Golden Ass posted a message for Oath Keepers to decipher
Badmoodman thought that Oath Keepers should go a step further to disguise their plans

Politics Smart:
TWX discussed people who won't even do the bare minimum no matter how easy it's been made for them
Kat09tails explained why so many people are fed up and out of empathy for those who insist on continuing to be so careless
null listed crimes the people responsible for putting together fake electors for Trump could be charged with
Dusk-You-n-Me pointed out that NPR was attacked for something they never said
This Is Bold Text didn't appreciate adults making decisions that 3-year-olds are paying for


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba altered an infamous sign
RedZoneTuba had the perfect name for this wintertime helper
Stephen_Falken exaggerated the number of inches
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us where clouds go when they disappear from the sky
Terrapin Bound brought "The Far Side" to life
Yammering_Splat_Vector armed these fish
Dodo David found a famous musician harvesting his instrument
west.la.lawyer had bad news about dinner
west.la.lawyer revealed that this water tower is aware of what's happening in the world
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out why you shouldn't smoke while applying hairspray

Fartist FridayShow & Tell Vol. 15
spontn80 built a fabulous treehouse, complete with squirrels

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Celebrate "National Draw A Dinosaur Day" by creating for this contest some drawings of real or fantasy dinosaurs. A Tyrannosaurus rex with long arms? A Spinosaurus that can swim? Gotcha - that one's real. A Stegosaurus with wings? The sky's the limit. Use Microsoft Paint/Draw-type programs, or good old fashioned paper and pencils/markers/paints/etc. Remember, all contest entries must be created for this contest.

FarktographyCurious Findings
Herb Utsmelz showed us how the War on Christmas ended


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

World's Oldest Man Dies. Why does this keep happening?

When a matchmaking service can't find you a partner, don't immolate yourself with gasoline. Use Tinder instead

Carhartt CEO walks a tightrope over vaccine mandates. Presumably, a tightrope that is one size too big and fades in color after about three washes

Subby would do anything for a green but he won't do that

Aaron Rodgers is now immunized from the Super Bowl

Steam ends Pandemic, which is at least safer than drinking bleach or shoving a blacklight up your backside

Death with Louie

Roger Stone vows to take Ron DeSantis out. It's like the Lincoln Project with rabies

Supreme court refuses to stop the National Archives from handing over Trump's presidential records to the Jan. 6 committee. Trump to appeal to the Total Landscaping Food Court

The NFT art market is plagued by "mind-blowing" fraud. Someone fetch me my NFT of a fainting couch

Cop rescues monkey and dog in the same day. Then the bartender says, "I suppose you won't be ordering a drink?"

Yutu-2 finds the far side of the moon is stickier, raising hopes of green cheese deposits


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we celebrated the life of Louie Anderson and his inadvertent advancement of Steve Urkel as a brief cultural icon. No one made the 1000 club this week, so I'm giving everyone that "I'm disappointed" look that I'm sure Louie would have approved of. On the Quiz itself, Denjiro came out on top with 948, followed by No Catchy Nickname in second with 887 and FrancoFile in third with 852. Brewster came in fourth with 831, and Grebuloner rounds out the top 5 with  830. Props to all of our quiztakers, this was a hard one this week.

The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was about Pluton. Somehow, only 20% of quiztakers knew about the latest threat to our anonymity on the Internet and recognized Pluton as the new "security" [readL privacy invader] chip designed by Microsoft to make sure that websites always remember us and still refuse to let us log on after an OS upgrade when we've forgotten our password we created 14 years ago. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which English classic James Joyce was responsible for. 80% of quiztakers identified him as the author of "Ulysses", wisely considered to be one of the best novels of the English language. His take on Homer's Odyssey directly influenced "O Brother Where Art Thou". so after seeing Alison Krauss in concert  I'm gonna call it a positive contribution.  

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about who won this year's Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that it was Lionel Richie who co-wrote "We Are the World" with Michael Jackson. But in fairness, only 43% of quiztakers were able to recognize Lionel's songwriting because they only held one earpiece up when listening. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which artist canceled her remaining North American tour due to health reasons. 94% of quiztakers knew that it was Celine Dion who couldn't perform this spring and summer. For you 6% of quiztakers who thought Madonna was the world's best-selling French language artist, she doesn't make the top 100. Although her daughter does speak a bit of French. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, now's a great time to catch up. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Maybe the real cure was the pee we drank along the way
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-01-19 1:56:01 PM (30 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone hope your week's been well.

Thanks so much to everyone who subscribed to TotalFark last week - it helps so much, you have no idea.  I get a daily report on signups and it's so incredibly relieving to see daily signups compared to terrible daily Q1 ad revenues.  Keep it up folks, signing up between now and April has the most impact on Fark of anything the rest of the year.

Last week we completed voting on 2021 December Headline of the Month, and man am I glad we did it this way.  Normally I have to shave down the number of candidates myself, but since I didn't have to do that for December, we were able to do things like have 50 different candidates for Main.  Well done to everyone who submitted a candidate - I'm in awe of your talent. Go check out the Headline of the Month winners for December 2021.

At 4 p.m. Thursday it's the Fark News Live Stream with me, Christine, Dill and Lucky Yates!  So far this week's theme has been weird crime and strange science, come join to find out more about alcoholic AIs, dead ants and Froot Loops, and three-eyed cows among other things.

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
jedzz wished Bob Saget had lasted at least a little bit longer
Somaticasual knew how to get something out of a box that your cats have claimed ownership of
Ker_Thwap wondered why there was no warning for the contents of a video of tsunami waters from Tonga reaching Oregon
Prank Call of Cthulhu explained that cops are not exaggerating about the dangers of fentanyl
cman wasn't taking any of puffy999's crap
Cake Hunter found an additional use for face masks
bingethinker knew what a woman wanted for her COVID-19 patient husband in addition to ivermectin and staying on a ventilator
skinink explained why a nurse came home and shoveled the driveway after working a long shift
fragMasterFlash wanted to test a theory about the amount of COVID-19 detected in Boston's wastewater
Hey Nurse! described a bad experience with fentanyl

Smart:
A Room Full of Angry Raccoons noted something sad and unexpected about one of Bob Saget's movies
Tanqueray explained why it seems like people at theme parks and other places are much worse behaved since COVID
IgG4 had a question for cops who believe they can suffer a fatal overdose if fentanyl looks at them from across the room
aimtastic told us about difficulty trying to get tested for COVID-19
Russ1642 doubted the story of a woman who shot her 4-year-old kid twice
jso2897 had good advice for people who just don't want to get vaccinated
EnzoTheCoder offered up frugal fashion advice
kbronsito saw that people suing hospitals for refusing to give ineffective medications to COVID patients might be onto something
Raoul Eaton shared what it's like to take a drug that scares cops silly

CSB Sunday MorningSnow days
Smart & Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village shared the legend of The Stargazer

Politics Funny:
Ivo Shandor had an idea of how a Prius driver was able to get the jump on a road-raging BMW driver who was shooting at him
RodneyToady summed up the staffing problem faced by a medical group in Indiana
Naido thought that a certain behavior of the man who took hostages at a Texas synagogue sounded familiar
Maladjusted Malcontent defended a man who was killed when he shot at another driver during a road rage altercation
little big man hoped the man who died road raging suffered one last insult added to his injury

Politics Smart:
hubiestubert addressed an American Thinker writer's complaints about having to see non-white people in commercials
Aussie_As discussed public health attitudes in retrograde
Nah'mean named the most important item for Texans to keep in their winter storm kits
Demetrius had a heartbreaking reminder that it's not time to let your guard down
omg bbq talked about deciding whether or not to shoot at someone


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed this poor man what the future has in store for him
kabloink found out this girl will be first in line
kabloink was not enjoying that Disney magic
Stephen_Falken discovered the secret power-up in Space Invaders
Snubnose shared a special message from Charlton Heston
RedZoneTuba caught a distracted dog walker in the act
MathProf showed us what Jon Snow knows
Wrongo found a familiar face in Antarctica
RedZoneTuba brought a favorite dancer along
kabloink was honest about missing this
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed that Grumpy Cat has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
kabloink finally put out this year's calendar

Captions:
From Caption this confrontation:
Grumpy Cat had an unwanted visitor
Grumpy Cat could write for a bird version of "The Flintstones"
From Caption what this pondering primate is thinking:
RedZoneTuba heard a legitimate concern
Heamer was looking for love
From Caption these Tower of London residents:
RedZoneTuba came in with a pun
D_PaulAngel revealed who's to blame for a terrible look

Fartist FridayHow a well-placed rubber ducky could have changed history
RedZoneTuba showed us a ducking disaster

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Our theme is Show & Tell Vol. 15. SHOW us your favorite artwork you've created and TELL us the story behind its inspiration, materials, backstory, etc. Share with us your photos, paintings, jewelry, poetry - any art medium! Difficulty: Art you haven't entered into our contests before. Be sure to tell us about your art!

FarktographyMajestic Monochrome-In Memoriam: CiliarySpasm
beerrun drained the color from Upper Antelope Canyon

Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Man was removed after being stuck in chimney of a house he doesn't live in. Authorities say this is pretty common during the flue season

Getting shot by a Prius driver is like a hunter getting plugged by a deer

ICUs nearing capacity in at least 18 states as SCOTUS decides no one needs an umbrella when Freedumb Rains

Woman attacked by bear while walking her dog in DeBary. See, that's why I walk my dog in DeNoBary

Beans beans, the magical fruit - the more you eat the more you toot

Cam Newton wants to play next year AND be on a winning team. Does not realize they are mutually exclusive goals

Ronnie Spector now a spectre

"He treated everybody like family" is not something you want to read if you've just watched Bob Saget tell the Aristocrats joke

Dave i left my heart pills at your place lemme know when i can come get them k? Thxbai

Die Hard

Liz Cheney doesn't rule out issuing subpoena to Qevin McCarthy and inviting him to go hunting with her dad

ONAN getting smote by DirecTV for spilling lies

I think that means Mike Pence is pregnant

French bakers feeling the pain. Also fondling the baguettes, cuddling the brioche

Delta set up for a massive rebound as Omicron fades

Empty bottles of whiskey are fetching hundreds of dollars on eBay because counterfeiters buy them for scams. Drew and his staff are going to be rich

Archaeologists have unearthed a 4,000-year-old board game from the Bronze Age. Apparently it was Helios, with the dagger, in the roundhouse


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, somewhat tempered by my inability to come up with a theme and reliance on silly gifs. But that was no deterrent to two of our valiant quiztakers who made their way into the 1000 club with their appreciable knowledge of the subjects that were covered in the past week here on Fark. Drachirryz, with your score of 1014, and TheMothership with your score of 1008, come on down and be recognized and then immediately placed into isolation due to COVID-19 protocols. fuzzyracing1967, your score of  957 leaves you out of the 1000 club, but you do get to hang out with johnny_vegas and his score of 943 and our fifth place finisher, runwiz with a respectable 930.

The hardest question for most on the Hard Quiz last week was about America's latest middle finger to the EU in a recent court decision about cheese. Only 42% of quiztakers knew that a US District court had ruled against the cheesemakers from Gruyère and decided that Americans can call their cheese-like substances "Gruyere" simply on the basis of how they cure their milk solids. No word yet on "sparkling aged cheese curd".

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was actually not about the first Black woman to appear on US coinage (only 68% knew it was Maya Angelou?) but somehow about which country most of the world's uranium comes from. 86% of quiztakers knew that uranium make benefit great nation of Kazakhstan. Pardon me while I process the fact that the guy who played Borat has now been nominated for three Oscars. And I agree that he deserved them.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which former pro wrestler was now working towards certification in professional clowning. Only 42% of quiztakers caught the story about Dewey getting certified in all kinds of things after his stint as WCW Heavyweight Champion. Yes, he is a certified Bob Ross instructor, but more importantly to the question, he's really into your nightmares and is working towards his clown certification from Healthy Humor. His Instagram feed (yeah, I don't follow it either) is full of him (and sometimes his kids) in a red nose. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about former teen idol Dwayne Hickman and how he achieved his teen idol status back in the 1960s. 90% of quiztakers knew that he had starred in "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis", and I'm still a bit unsure about this total since the series wasn't exactly a critical success.I'm guessing many Farkers saw their mom's autographed photo of him in the attic or that special place on the dresser or something. I'm not judging, but yeah, your mom thought about that guy on that really bad TV show back in the day.  Gen X mom's nod approvingly along with John Stamos.

If you missed out on the Quiz last week, you should really catch up on it. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: A fresh (free!) Fark feature, plus gettin' Lucky on Livestream
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-01-13 2:49:56 PM (25 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

It's January, which in the Digital Media industry is pretty much an advertising wasteland.  I spent last fall getting up to speed on ad ops to see if I could figure it out.  Turns out I do kind of like swimming in vast pools of data.  One interesting thing that came of this ad ops deep dive is learning how media buying works. First off, everyone blows their entire annual budget in December. I had a theory that maybe spring and summer vacation destinations might kick up ad spends during January, but either I'm dead wrong or COVID put an end to it because this ad spend is nowhere to be seen.  Along those same lines, I found a great ad ops forum filled with super candid ad buyers who basically said they don't spend a dime until mid March at the soonest.

What I'm getting at here is now's the time to sign up for TotalFark.  If it were up to me, we wouldn't run ads at all, but we have to pay the bills somehow.  Just like shopping local keeps your local restaurants running, signing up for TotalFark goes way further than ad revenue.  Help us finance new features and keep Fark running.  On that note, if anyone's got any good ideas for some fundraising stunts, let me know in the comments. I'm game for pretty much anything.

New Feature: Headline of the Month!  We're launching Headline of the Month voting.  Part of the impetus behind this was how difficult it was to narrow down Headline of the Year candidates - I was barely able to get Main under 250, for example.  However, if we do voting monthly, this helps us narrow down the final qualifiers.  December voting will be launching very soon, so keep an eye out.  Also this will be the last year we tack December onto the end; going forward, we plan to keep HotY to the previous calendar year.

Today at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with Christine, Dill, Rebecca, and Lucky Yates.  Lucky, who turns out is a longtime news junkie and avid Farker, crashed the party last week at the last minute and totally killed it with his "you know what else is a bridge to crabs" riff, so we're doing it again!  Join us for anarchist clown pies, warhorse ponies, Zionist dolphins of doom, and Nyquil poached chicken recipes!  And more!
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
8 inches had feelings about an article discussing "AirPod-shaped women"
gopher321 showed us the coolest movie shot
moothemagiccow proved that GMO produce is a good thing
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen knew what an AirPod-shaped woman would actually look like
Derp Du Jour saw photos of French twins Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff, who died of COVID-19, and was reminded of an '80s band
Martian_Astronomer explained why a winter storm in Montgomery County, KY led to a 75-car pileup
Ragin' Asian had something to rage about
Marcos P told us why Billie Jean Dunn's former boyfriend wasn't charged with her daughter's death until now
Jeff5 figured out why Pabst Blue Ribbon tweeted that you should eat butt if you're not drinking this month
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed us a tech firm founder's explanation for sending an anti-Semitic group email

Smart:
aimtastic discussed Pope Francis' assertion that not having children is selfish
BakaDono pointed out that what a high school in Minnesota is doing to cover a janitor shortage is not new
kudayta theorized about what could be influencing Antonio Brown's behavior
SpectroBoy advised us on building our fortunes
scalpod suggested we not go renaming our space telescopes just yet
houstondragon shared some resources for veterans who are struggling with their mental health
wademh addressed the misconception that "real" vaccines are 100% effective, and explained why it's everyone's duty to be vaccinated if they're able
Driedsponge discussed the use of Apple AirTags for criming

CSB Sunday MorningUnusual pets
Smart: Otera told us about Clarice the Starling
Funny: grchunt's housemate had a pet rat that was a little too friendly

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
ThomasPaineTrain helped out with information about one of the areas where protests are taking place in Kazakhstan
buserror wrote a poem about the death of a prominent QAnoner with the help of the Fark SwearJar
fatassbastard thought that life's been good for a certain former Republican
dionysusaur reacted to a photo of the mayor's office in Almaty, Kazakhstan that was set on fire by protesters
EnzoTheCoder revealed that President Biden took a page from Trump's playbook

Politics Smart:
snowblur wanted to remind Attorney General Merrick Garland that January 6 isn't the only thing that needs investigating
The Reverend Sam Hill looked at how all the COVID-19 infections in the U.S. since inauguration day are Biden's fault
namegoeshere considered what to do about stressed-out parents
Pocket Ninja discussed the attempt to blame the January 6 insurrection on Democrats
tinderfitles talked about what gives value to the dollar and cryptocurrency


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
A challenge to redesign St. Francois County, MO's seal was very popular, and even got Fark a mention in a Riverfront Times article. The highest-voted entries for this contest were created by fluffy_pope, ThomasPaineTrain, kolpanic, RedZoneTuba and EnzoTheCoder.

TrollingForColumbine showed us that this hillside house is actually a robot in disguise
Yammering_Splat_Vector found another Trump photoshoot gone wrong
RedZoneTuba gave us a fight between notoriously overly-aggressive parties
Yammering_Splat_Vector had a creepy peeker
Circusdog320 gave Luke something cuter than a tauntaun to ride on Hoth
Wrongo just wanted a New Coke
kabloink showed us another of Satsuki and Mei's neighbors
Wrongo discovered another way in which hares are similar to rabbits
west.la.lawyer revealed the backup Batcave

Fartist FridayEye rhymes about hopes for 2022
whatsupchuck wanted to see us all live long and prosper

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Celebrate National Rubber Ducky Day by showing us how a well-placed rubber ducky could have changed world history. Tossing one in front of Lincoln to deflect Booth's bullet? Totally plausible. Placing a huge rubber ducky on the iceberg that sunk the Titanic so they'd see it sooner? Great plan. All art programs and materials allowed such as Photoshop, MS Paint/Draw, pencil & paper, etc.

FarktographyLet's Get Technical
orionid showed us a Farking "bad day in a nuclear power plant"


Beyond Fark

We're sad to have lost longtime Farker and avid Farktographer CiliarySpasm, who passed away Christmas morning. Before his death, he arranged for one of his sons to reach out to let us know how much Fark and the Farktography community meant to him. He also had a special request for his memorial Farktography theme, "Majestic Monochrome." CiliarySpasm's memorial Farktography thread is open now for entries and voting. 


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Life isn't fare

Oh so sorry. Your blood test came back guilty on four counts of fraud

This is WAY too close for comfort

Metal asteroid could be worth 10 quintillion dollars, say NASA folks who got entirely the wrong takeaways from "Don't Look Up"

Miss a few car payments? That's a dog mauling. Get pulled over by police? Dog mauling. Drive your dog to the mall? Oh, you better believe that's a dog malling

Scientists name tree after Leonardo DiCaprio, presumably because its wood doesn't float

Jon Stewart calls out JK for her Magic Jews that run the banks, not to be confused with Star Trek's Space Jews that run Ferenginar

Tarantino is determined to sell NFTs and will not accept defeet

Prime Minister resigns Sudanly

Welcome back, Qatar

Trumpy and Lumpy had a big brawl Trumpy said Lumpy made a bad call All of the news hosts and all the yes men Couldn't put Trumpy and Lumpy back together again

COVID killed the QAnon star

Hasbro whips out Cocks for head position

The worst technology of 2021. Next year, Fark SwearJar. Next year


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although through an error on my part, some people got more questions than others. So I'm giving you the whole top 10 this time:

Ivo Shandor - 1234
bingethinker - 1204
TheMothership - 1190
SumoJeb - 1153
wildcardjack - 1146
bobbelieu - 1142
Megateuthis - 1113
maddog2030 - 1109
spudbeach - 1108
Xanadone - 1104

The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was about those wacky Canadians and their ideas for animal control. Only 31% of quiztakers caught the story about the City of Edmonton and a research project there asking for volunteers to scare off coyotes by charging at them, running and screaming and lobbing sand-filled tennis balls at them and presumably yelling "Sorry!" if one of the balls makes contact. Honestly, I think they'd do better passing out buckets of the tennis balls at local bars and giving the bartender a bell to ring when coyotes are sighted in the vicinity. I'm curious about what happens when the coyotes start chasing the tennis balls and bringing them back to the people throwing them.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which former British politician ordered the shelling of a historic 8-BR Jacobean mansion in Flintshire, England back in 1654 that is now up for sale, complete with the original front door that was damaged by the cannon fire. 90% of quiztakers identified Oliver Cromwell as the leader of the Roundheads. Benjamin Disraeli was the "British exceptionalism" imperialist Prime Minister in the 1800s who was known for buying up Egypt's share in the Suez Canal, and Neville Chamberlain was the Nazi appeasing Prime Minister of the 1930s. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Big Ben's new color scheme. No, Roethlisberger hasn't announced he's moving to a new team, but the clock tower on the north face of Westimenter got a new paint job to match the original scheme from 1859. Although it was painted black in the 1930s to disguise the air pollution inherent to the Industrial Revolution, 63% of quiztakers knew that the hands and markings on the face were once again a proud Prussian Blue. Personally, I think that since it was built approaching the height of the British Empire, the UK should have just stolen the color and called it "Big Ben Blue" and dared anyone to say anything.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about Mall of America, where two people were shot last week and this being America, it barely made the local news. 98% of quiztakers knew that you could find Mall of America in Bloomington, MN - a suburb of Minneapolis/St, Paul. While there, be sure to visit all 520 stores and 50 restaurants - three(!) of which are Starbucks. Also, it's probably not a good idea to talk to the guy selling pillows and ranting about voting machines and the Supreme Court. 

If you missed out last week, be sure to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Farkers requested this new feature, I swear
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-01-05 1:58:47 PM (105 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your New Year's been well.

The SwearJar is finally here!  We've tested it and it looks ready to go, but no doubt something else will crop up, so let us know if/when it does.  It's 20 FarkUnits (FUs) to use the SwearJar.  Early on someone pointed out that at 20 FUs, most people wouldn't want to use the Swear Jar.  Turns out that's exactly the point - if everyone used it all the time, it wouldn't be fun.  As always, suggestions and ideas are welcome.  Especially UI/UX suggestions. Feel free to drop me an email.

January is the best time of the year for everyone to sign up for TotalFark, by the way.  Ad revenues always drop hard in January, and this year is no exception - down by half again as per usual.  So if you were thinking of jumping in, now's the time!  As an added bonus, you can use FUs for both the SwearJar and a TotalFark subscription.  And for the next features we add - speaking of which, we'll be asking TotalFarkers in the near future what the next feature should be.  I've got a list already from a previous discussion.  More soon.

This week on Thursday, January 6 at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the return of the Fark News Livestream, New Year's Eve edition.  We'll touch omicron briefly, but not long enough to be a misdemeanor.  Lots of weird weather news, hero dogs, a giant shiny metal asteroid, and a list of stuff to buy at the store before the hoarding hits high gear. Come join us!
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
SBinRR explained what happened to John Madden
PoweredByIrony considered how terrible a man who mistook his daughter for an intruder and shot and killed her will feel
TheMaskedArmadillo fondly remembered John Madden
Driedsponge defended the dad who shot his daughter because he thought she was an intruder
scobee1210 criticized the priorities of a man who ranted about COVID vaccines before setting himself on fire
Harry Freakstorm described how to tell a fake vaccine card from a real one
LordBeavis wanted the Department of Defense to take stronger actions against problem airline passengers
bearded clamorer wasn't all that impressed by the James Webb Space Telescope
Lambskincoat commented about allegations that a CEO made male employees visit brothels and strip clubs
Combustion shared what it was like back when Charlie Chaplin was a Farker

Smart:
Barricaded Gunman had helpful information if you don't want to get vaccinated and take other precautions
Demetrius explained why Betty White died right after People Magazine put out an issue celebrating her upcoming 100th birthday
phimuskapsi told us about Great Grandma who lived to the age of 101
namegoeshere reminded us that as bad as everything might seem right now, it's actually worse
hardinparamedic figured that it's a good idea to learn how to not murder someone while you're doing your job
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen pointed out how a lot of people will remember John Madden
kokomo61 described how an experienced and competent gun owner should handle a possible break-in
hubiestubert shared what it's like to be conscious but unable to move or communicate while hospital staff think you're basically gone

CSB Sunday MorningJob interviews - the good, the bad, and the surreal
Smart:  ElPrimitivo got a job at Denny's
FunnyMorningBreath interviewed a man from a parallel universe

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
AstroJesus wondered if the Farker who submitted the news flash about Ghislaine Maxwell's conviction was ghilty
Mr. Coffee Nerves explained what's really happening in Florida
kevorting noticed something about a man who sent Eric Swalwell messages saying he should be "hung" and shot
beerrun had some idea of why Ron DeSantis had been largely invisible lately
Harry Freakstorm knew of the kind of trick that won't work on Madison Cawthorn

Politics Smart:
educated pointed out that low pay isn't the only reason many companies are having trouble hiring
Martian_Astronomer had ideas for how anti-vaxxers can receive medical care that's compatible with their beliefs
Bootleg had a plan to get one of those jobs where it doesn't matter how much it pays
edmo suggested experimenting on COVID deniers
Circusdog320 had news for people who refuse to get vaccinated against COVID-19


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
jaylight2003 got the side-eye from this fancy cat
RedZoneTuba went with the "distracted boyfriend" meme
Yammering_Splat_Vector revealed how different some of the "Star Wars" actors looked off camera
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a smug marshmallow
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed a group of stoned faces
kabloink discovered what David's brother looked like
Yammering_Splat_Vector looked for the hide-and-seek champion
Yammering_Splat_Vector remembered to save the liver
Parallax predicted that cats are going to live it up in 2022
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed someone who's about to give sharks some bad ideas

Fartist FridayHappy Gnu Ears
RedZoneTuba drew a blue gnu

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: We'll celebrate National Word Nerd Day by creating "Eye Rhymes" using words that look alike but don't sound alike. For example, rough/bough; love/move; wind/bind, etc. Our contest's theme to ring in this new year: create "Eye Rhymes" about our hopes for 2022.


FarktographyItsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny
orionid revealed the dramatic appearance of magnified chipped paint


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

First opening its doors in 1800, the First Presbyterian Church of Bellefonte has seen its last Day-O

John Madden has passed away. He will be buried in a casket, in a chicken, in a duck, in a turkey

Tomorrow morning, Athens will awaken to new COVID-19 measures. But then, dawn has always been tough on Greece

Ghilty

Mississippians Miss Miss Mississippi

Not to be anal, but yes, tildes are important

Giants OT Matt Peart held out after knee injury. Giants don't want to roll the bones and Rush him back, as much as he loves the limelight, doctors saw subdivisions and hope his knee doesn't need the caress of steel

Trump reportedly suffers "meltdown in Mar-a-Lago" as the 1/6 committee is reportedly closing in on him, which hopefully will be followed by him being "Livid in Leavenworth" or "Freaking out in Florence"

Texas goes full socialist, begs Brandon to save the day

Compensate for the lobster tail's low-fat content by rolling them in mayo and ranch-seasoned bread crumbs before sticking them in your new air fryer

Oh great, now we have to tame 14 new species of shrews

Ancient dinosaur tracks discovered on Welsh beach. Paleontologists name it Pwllgwyndnnrllengwyngyllasaur


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, and we have three people with tickets to the 1000 Club, Unfortunately, due to... um, "supply chain issues," we didn't get in a copy of "Spider-Man: No Way Home" and so we'll be showing "The Amazing Spider-Man 2." I mean, they have some of the same actors, right? Luckily we have plenty of leftover candy corn for snacks. On the scoreboard, FrancoFile came out on top with 1047, followed by TwoHead in second with 1022 and Autoerotic Defenestration in third with 1014. The Third Man made fourth with 995, and oldernell came in fifth with 983.

The hardest question on this week's Hard Quiz was about KFC in Japan and their now-"traditional" Christmas Party Barrel. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that the ¥3700 (~$32 American) bucket also comes with Japanese Christmas cake and a bottle of sparkling white wine - because even the Japanese have figured out that wine helps make time with your family go by a little bit easier. They give us weird anime, and we return the favor with unhealthy food and booze, so I'm gonna say we're even on this one.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which Confederate statue gave us another time capsule last week. 93% of quiztakers knew that Richmond, VA until recently held a statue of Confederate general Robert E. Lee. I'm gonna say that the fact that they buried those time capsules in the foundation of the statue meant that even they knew back then it was coming down eventually. 

The hardest question on this week's' Hard Quiz was about a job opening on Piel Island in the UK. Only 48% of quiztakers caught the article about the old island and its ruined castle and its history that dates back to the late 1400s and the War of the Roses. The area had sided against King Henry, and so fast-forward a couple of centuries and they decided to have their own king of the island. And who would be more qualified to be a king than the "landlord" of the pub - i.e., the guy who pulled pints and managed the place. Can't say I argue with the logic, nor the tradition of dousing the new pubmaster with beer instead of beating him around the head and neck with a sword. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the French term "carte blanche" 94% of quiztakers knew this literally meant "blank document," as in a signed order left for the recipient to fill in - thus how we use it in America to mean "freedom to accomplish a task in the matter one sees fit." As opposed to Cate Blanchette, who is an actress, or "carb blanch," which is when you boil potatoes and then immediately stick them in ice water to keep them slightly crispy. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, be sure to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Resolve to swear more in 2022 🤬
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-29 12:15:32 PM (58 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

I figured the news cycle would slow down at some point during the xmas break, but wow it's as if everyone just took the entire week off.  So it goes.  As a result though, we're gonna pass on this week's Fark News Livestream - here's hoping next week has more news in it.  Or any news at all.

A heads up for everyone: The Swear Jar is finally launching next Wednesday, January 5th.  TotalFarkers are going to get first crack at using it, mainly so we can figure out any bugs or quirks people find.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Megathuma figured out what was missing in listing photos for a house with black walls
scottydoesntknow was amazed by the marvels of modern science
sgleason818 wasn't sure if ads messed up the de-slided slide show or not
Ass_Master_Flash's user name checked out, maybe?
bearded clamorer asked a question about measuring one's salami
Redh8t told SoundOfOneHandWanking where to find a generous ruler
Creepy Lurker Guy will be designing your next car
GoodCopBadCop let us know what to do if we find out an asteroid is on its way to destroy us
Ivo Shandor took a guess at what happens if you spill liquid in a BMW X7's cupholder
KB202 told Nah'mean what to do about feeling old because of modern technology

Smart:
downstairs pointed out what often happens when people refuse to get vaccinated
Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste shared a fact about Alyssa Milano
TWX remembered when a man bombed downtown Nashville on Christmas, 2020
TWX considered how to help American veterans who need homes
GardenWeasel gave advice on how to keep some diIdo from hacking your computer
Murflette shared a story from the olden days before everyone had a mobile phone with them at all times
ArcadianRefugee took a guess at why the 2016 "Ghostbusters" film was omitted from the Ghostbusters Ultimate Collection

CSB Sunday MorningThe day after Christmas
Smart: hubiestubert 's aunt was born the day after Christmas
Funny: The highest-voted funny comments were mostly not really stories, or they were not about the topic. There are some poop stories, though, in case you're into that kind of thing.

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Sin'sHero answered a question with a dad joke
OptionC came up with different names for a COVID and SARS vaccine that was developed by the U.S. Army
Kitty2.0 reminded us about Donald Trump's social media platform
b2theory had a plan since Republicans say they'll block any potential Supreme Court appointments by Joe Biden
wademh took issue with how the first versions of Trump's video to insurrectionists were characterized in a Fark headline

Politics Smart:
etoof explained how Trump got Ben Garrison to turn against him
Megathuma pointed out one reason why boomers are most likely to think student loan forgiveness isn't necessary
blastoh had a theory about Steve Bannon's plan for the U.S.
Martian_Astronomer recalled that Garrison turned against Trump at least once before
BizarreMan argued that Democrats don't really want Joe Manchin to switch parties


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba photoshopped a prince, princess, queen and duke
Wrongo brought in everyone's favorite drummer
Yammering_Splat_Vector drove the Deathmobile
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a capybara spending time with his nephews
RedZoneTuba made a sentimental choice in Christmas trees
Yammering_Splat_Vector found Ricky ruining date night yet again
RedZoneTuba brought a classic Christmas movie into the modern day
dlarsen222 discovered a devolved baby bird
Yammering_Splat_Vector's cat smiled brightly
Wrongo showed us how to get back at the moon for hitting your eye like a big pizza pie

From Caption these flaming Scottish people:
jokerscrowbar sensed a great disappointment in the Force
Cache cleared up a very strange case of mistaken identity
MillionDollarMo was either bragging or complaining

Fartist FridaySHOW us your favorite artwork you've created featuring "Wintertime" (or create something new) and TELL us about it
This contest ended in a tie between RedZoneTuba's "Hostas in Winter" and knobmaker's "Winter Turtle Totem"

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: This week our theme is "Happy Gnu Ears." Create artwork featuring the mighty gnu, or the mighty GNU. All art mediums allowed including MS Paint, Draw, Photoshop, pen & paper, etc.

FarktographySeasons' Greetings 14
markie_farkie won with a photo of a festive house panther


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Not to preach, but Moderna says we're living in a material world and if you've been touched by a variant for the very first time, you should get this booster shot

CIA Adviser says US is closer to civil war than any of us would like to believe. Fortunately she has book coming out

Meghan Markle could be deposed in Prince Andrew suit. She must really love cosplay

Stephen Miller claims he's experienced difficulty obtaining baby items, mostly their arms and legs

Reggie Jackson arrested at Windsor Castle

You know who else was expected to miss rest of regular season yet return for playoffs?

A fifth woman has hit the Noth tower

I tested negative for anthrax, but still have all these weird symptoms. What could this possibly be?

Turns out key evidence in the West Memphis Three case wasn't so much "destroyed in a fire" as it was "well catalogued at the police station" the entire time

"Fly my pretties! Fly!" "CUT. You can't say that Donald, try again." "Ok. Fly! Fly! Fly!" "CUT. No that's not good either." "OK. You are special people, I love you." "Dang, let's just go with that"

An actual grammar Nazi

Intel apologizes for briefly taking a moral stand against slave labor

Scientists up in arms over proposed octopus farm

These ancient footprints were made by humans, and not bears. This humans repeating

Looks like Microsoft has had a huge leaking AAS hole for four years


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although I'm still a bit unsure of the utility of AirPods with built-in chopsticks. On the Quiz itself, TwoHead makes it into the 1000 club with 1021, followed by Denjiro in second with 977 and dochaha in third with 973. The Third Man made fourth with 951, and Joelogon came in fifth with 945.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about where the next World Fark Party is very unlikely to be held. Only 37% of quiztakers knew that Jonas Gahr Stoere is the Prime Minister of Norway, who just announced the country was banning the sale of booze in bars and restaurants for the foreseeable future to cut down on COVID transmission. Fortunately, booze is still available for off-premises consumption, and they also do delivery there. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about where a 44-year-old bank robber in Delaware stashed his ill-gotten gains in his escape. 82% of quiztakers knew that he chose the bank's own ATM to make a deposit, reasoning that would be the last place they would look. Unfortunately, when you're on camera wearing the same thing you were wearing when you robbed the joint, and deposit the same amount that you just robbed, it's not hard to put two and two together. 

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the 1996 movie "Mars Attacks!" and where the origin of the story came from. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that the sort-of success of "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" (it made 150% of its budget at the box office, and brought in tons more on video) inspired producers to take a chance on another set of trading cards. If you want to take a look at the 1962 cards and the gorgeous art style (and "extreme violence" that caused so much public backlash and a complaint from a Connecticut District Attorney) you can see them over at OldSportsCards

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about Time Magazine's Person of the Year this year. 95% of quiztakers knew they had chosen the guy putting the most effort into leaving the planet rather than any of the people trying to save it, and went with Elon Musk. Oh, and ladies, he seems to have broken up with Grimes, so he's single.

If you missed out on the Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter Special Edition: Best of 2021, Fark's Headlines of the Year
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-24 5:46:14 PM, edited 2021-12-24 7:34:29 PM (11 comments) | Permalink

Out of 72715 greenlit headlines in 2021, these are Fark's top voted Headlines of the Year!

Thanks to everyone for voting in the final round, and a huge Thank You to all our submitters for another year of fantastic headlines!



Category Awards Winners!








Congratulations to all our winners!!!

_____________________

2021 Winners

Main

USDA dropping rabies vaccine packets coated with bait in eastern Tennessee to fool unsuspecting racoons into eating them and vaccinating themselves. The next plan is to drop Pfizer vaccine packets wrapped in bacon on Tennessee cities
fark.com/comments/11829868
Linked article: wbir.com
Kyle Butler

Discussion
To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing. It's your Bad Joke Thursday thread

fark.com/comments/11573459
Linked article: google.com
bobug

Sports
LeBron has covid. No worries, though. He never passes anything to anybody

fark.com/comments/11951247
Linked article: tmz.com
Tanqueray

Business
3M hit with $8.2M verdict, will now be known as -5.2M

fark.com/comments/11811041
Linked article: stripes.com
damageddude

STEM
Why alcohol is used to preserve things. Point: have you seen Keith Richards? Counterpoint: have you seen Keith Richards

fark.com/comments/11794280
Linked article: livescience.com
Squid_for_Brains

Entertainment
Baby chasing a dollar is still a baby chasing a dollar

fark.com/comments/11710398
Linked article: variety.com
poconojoe

Fandom
An oral history of the Star Wars Holiday Special, which is to say the least satisfying oral of all time

fark.com/comments/11584817
Linked article: lithub.com
wiredroach

D'awww
MRI reveals that dogs posses stronger love for their owners than treats, which is more than CATscan

fark.com/comments/11695082
Linked article: thegreatcoursesdaily.com
Dr.Fey

Food
Dolly Parton is getting her own ice cream flavor, but it's not praline, praline, praline

fark.com/comments/11278220
Linked article: jenis.com
Misch

Politics
Forbes 400 moves Trump to 404: wealth not found

fark.com/comments/11814884
Linked article: newsandguts.com
NeoCortex42
Category awards

2021 Category Awards - Context


Main
Pope Francis;
fark.com/comments/11567855

Linked article: apnews.com
Don Gato


Discussion
He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he took a soda from your fridge, and watched you masturbate
fark.com/comments/11756220

Linked article: theguardian.com
MechaPyx


Sports
Cougars lick the Beavers, advance to Four play
fark.com/comments/11285728

Linked article: chron.com
Straight Outta Wells Branch


Business
Did Tennessee Earn eFord?
fark.com/comments/11797553

Linked article: foxbusiness.com
Firm Tautology


STEM
Mars explorer Ingenuity helicopter spots unequivocal evidence of alien technology
fark.com/comments/11681861

Linked article: digitaltrends.com
Winterlight


Entertainment
35 years ago today, a movie about a queen defending her people against invaders from another planet premiered in theaters to great acclaim
fark.com/comments/11602379

Linked article: twitter.com
bostonguy


Fandom
If you have to take to the internet to explain the plot point of your own movie, you failed

fark.com/comments/11666090

Linked article: comicbook.com
rummonkey


D'awww
Yeah, I know you told me not to stand in front of the green screen, but you know I can't see color, Bob
fark.com/comments/11728083

Linked article: twitter.com
Metastatic Capricorn


Food
Mountain Don't
fark.com/comments/11670731

Linked article: cnbc.com
Tanqueray


Politics
Coach Tuberville to face SEC opponent
fark.com/comments/11628713

Linked article: cnbc.com
FlashHarry


2021 Category Awards - Puns/Wordplay


Main
Cops taser man in Paisley, Must have been the fashion police
fark.com/comments/11743503
Linked article: thescottishsun.co.uk
fmcgalaxie500

Discussion
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll. It's your Bad Uncle Jokes Day
fark.com/comments/11733909
Linked article: pinterest.com
Ixnay on the ottenray

Sports
German coach kicked out of Olympics for punching horse. When asked for comment, says she's only pawn in game of life
fark.com/comments/11659966
Linked article: bbc.co.uk
ThunderChild

Business
Hobby Lobby fondly recalls loose stools
fark.com/comments/11820905
Linked article: cpsc.gov
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class

STEM
Dr. Fauci shuts down Nicki Minaj on whether COVID makes you impotent, stating there's a vas deferens between her statements and the truth
fark.com/comments/11767111
Linked article: nbcnews.com
Kit Fister

Entertainment
Witness dumps on R. Kelly
fark.com/comments/11708252
Linked article: thedailybeast.com
pueblonative

Fandom
Church organist busts out the A-Team theme, no doubt composed by Johann Sebastian Baracus
fark.com/comments/11335896
Linked article: youtube.com
wiredroach

D'awww
Boy builds stick library for neighborhood dogs. It's so successful that he has to add more branches
fark.com/comments/11218727
Linked article: twitter.com
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class

Food
It says here there are other uses for tonic besides gin and vodka but that's just the liquor talking
fark.com/comments/11552422
Linked article: foodandwine.com
elvisaintdead

Politics
Matt Gaetz making six-figure ad buy targeting CNN and others for reporting on Matt Gaetz's alleged predilection for teen girls. Would use Venmo for ad buy, but Venmo's only for minor purchases
fark.com/comments/11332493
Linked article: thehill.com
PaulRB

2021 Category Awards - Clever


Main
Scientists notice people who've had covid-19 have lower IQ, conclude that the virus causes drop in intelligence. Same scientists have discovered lung cancer causes people to start smoking
fark.com/comments/11649007
Linked article: metro.co.uk
ChibiDebuHage

Discussion
"How can I fix my marriage after I slept with my college age nieces?" "Sir this is a furniture store. Why are you telling me this?" "I'm telling everybody"
fark.com/comments/11181031
Linked article: digg.com
mjjt

Sports
Tom Brady gets deal to be Subway spokesperson. Gisele Bündchen says he's perfect, because he's got low quality meat and lies about being 6 inches
fark.com/comments/11552782
Linked article: nypost.com
Dr.Fey

Business
Within a decade, half of all Volkwagen vehicle sales will pretend to be electric
fark.com/comments/11588621
Linked article: cnbc.com
Firm Tautology

STEM
Can Science cure death? Maybe. But since it can't even convince people to get vaccinated against a deadly disease, it might have to cure stupid first
fark.com/comments/11614436
Linked article: popularmechanics.com
HighZoolander

Entertainment
Noted child safety expert Eric Clapton expresses concerns about vaccines
fark.com/comments/11507500
Linked article: guitar.com
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class

Fandom
LEGO offers Amelia Earhart tribute set. Expect some delays if you get it shipped air mail
fark.com/comments/11254286
Linked article: lego.com
MythRender

D'awww
Are cats a liquid, solid or gas?
fark.com/comments/11566343
Linked article: dailymail.co.uk
some_beer_drinker

Food
29 eggplant recipes, which is about 31 too many
fark.com/comments/11584802
Linked article: foodandwine.com
elvisaintdead

Politics
New US Treasury report finds that the top 1% are evading $163,000,000,000 in owed taxes every single year but somewhere a homeless guy owns a cell phone and who's to say which is worse
fark.com/comments/11749968
Linked article: home.treasury.gov
Dusk-You-n-Me
2021 Category Awards - Pop culture/Obscure references


Main
WHO says that when they run out of Greek letters, new SARS-CoV-2 variants will be named after major stars and constellations. Here comes the Andromeda Strain
fark.com/comments/11739729

Linked article: twitter.com
null


Discussion
Seven questions you must ask on any first date. Missing from the list: Sisko or Kirk?
fark.com/comments/11697425

Linked article: metro.co.uk
The English Major


Sports
Things that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is fed up with include: young kids who say that he only worked hard during the playoffs, NBA players who refuse to get vaccinated, and dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes
fark.com/comments/11803841

Linked article: mediaite.com
HighOnCraic


Business
There is no admission of liability, there is only Juul
fark.com/comments/11546758

Linked article: cnn.com
rnatalie


STEM
Man in Brussels wants to make Apple use a common charging cable, although industry watchers suggest that in order to make that happen, he'd have to be six foot four and full of muscle
fark.com/comments/11776396

Linked article: politico.eu
toraque


Entertainment
Scientology tried to recruit David Duchovny, but he didn't want to believe
fark.com/comments/11715543

Linked article: thedailybeast.com
wiredroach


Fandom (tie)
A unique dilemma has arisen. One the one hand, Hallmark Christmas Movie. On the other hand, Bruce Campbell
fark.com/comments/11865265

Linked article: the-screening-space.com
RoyFokker'sGhost


-and-

Using the power of Google Maps, you now have proof that an X-wing can fit in your driveway. You're still out of luck if God grants you the Serenity
fark.com/comments/11655712

Linked article: parkmyspaceship.com
Saborlas


D'awww
There's a walrus in Wales. What's next, seals in Crofts?
fark.com/comments/11386161

Linked article: bbc.com
elvisaintdead


Food
Remember Boone's Farm? If you answered yes, you obviously didn't drink enough of it back in the day
fark.com/comments/11600465

Linked article: thetakeout.com
Winterlight


Politics
House orders Gosar to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to his place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension
fark.com/comments/11920833

Linked article: yahoo.com
Fireproof


2021 Category Awards - Lyrics/verse


Main
Huge snake / missing from mall / found after search / hiding in wall / Burmese python
fark.com/comments/11574824

Linked article: edition.cnn.com
Optronami


Discussion
"I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 20-month-old child. My husband introduced him to Baby Shark against my express wishes, and now he's obsessed. My husband thinks my irritation is overblown and hilarious. What can I DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO?"
fark.com/comments/11270801

Linked article: slate.com
The English Major


Sports
Chuba Hubbard sits out remainder of season. He got knocked down, but he'll get up again
fark.com/comments/11049734

Linked article: thescore.com
Mad Canadian


Business
I see a blue screen and I want to paint it black
fark.com/comments/11557601

Linked article: theverge.com
NeoCortex42


STEM
♫ There is unrest in the forest / There is discourse 'tween the trees / And they use a fungal network to transmit their repartee♫
fark.com/comments/11393484

Linked article: npr.org
Parthenogenetic


Entertainment
Foo Fighters postpone LA concert after Covid-19 hits "someone" within the "organization" though Grohl assures in the past they've gotten the best, the best, the best of flu
fark.com/comments/11593706

Linked article: nme.com
The English Major


Fandom
Happy 30th anniversary to TNG's "Darmok." Temba, his arms open
fark.com/comments/11804294

Linked article: startrek.com
Bith Set Me Up


D'awww
Stray cat brings sick kittens to Turkish vets, presumably to help them rock this town, rock it inside out
fark.com/comments/11288455

Linked article: yahoo.com
Straight Outta Wells Branch


Food
♫ Curry on my Wearside bun♪ There'll be peas when you are done♫
fark.com/comments/11200229

Linked article: sunderlandecho.com
Dr.Fey


Politics
'Twas the night before Insurrection, and all through the House, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. But elsewhere that night, in Trump's private residence, a plan had been made to kill his Vice President
fark.com/comments/11130151

Linked article: sethabramson.substack.com
HighOnCraic


2021 Category Awards - Visual


Main
*
fark.com/comments/11665361
Linked article: journalstar.com
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen

Sports
Panthers hire Tony Sparano Jr as offensive line assistant coa
fark.com/comments/11114520
Linked article: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com
Badger

STEM
Scientists discover method to convert natural gas into solid form, a process dubbed the Solidification of Hydrocarbon Aeriforms for Rapid Transportation
fark.com/comments/11039728
Linked article: channelnewsasia.com
Wyckyd Sceptre

Entertainment
Lynyrd Skynyrd gytyryst cytchys Cyvyd
fark.com/comments/11661670
Linked article: hollywoodreporter.com
The English Major

Fandom
(HAPPY * BIRTHDAY) (DOLLY * PARTON)
fark.com/comments/11109444
Linked article: en.wikipedia.org
elvisaintdead

D'awww
🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔸🔸🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔸🔸🔶🔸🔶🔶🔶🔶🔶🔸🔸🔸
fark.com/comments/11355456
Linked article: twitter.com
Alex_Lee

Food
Will adding these four herbs to your food reduce your reliance on sodium? Na
fark.com/comments/11269240
Linked article: championnewspapers.com
Dr.Fey

Politics
Devin Nunes tests positive for COWVID antibodies
fark.com/comments/11048626
Linked article: thedailybeast.com
mkelly1082
2021 Category Awards - Fark self-referential


Main
Which insect repellent is best for children? Spoiler alert: None of them are very good at repelling children
fark.com/comments/11622602

Linked article: arcamax.com
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen


Discussion
Article on "the worst people to date according to their astrological sign". The worst people to date according to subby are the ones who believe in astrology
fark.com/comments/11176923

Linked article: radio.com
ParallelUniverseParking


Sports
When a player's name is Cockburn and you have to resort to racism, that's just lazy. The joke writes itself
fark.com/comments/11272445

Linked article: espn.com
Tarl3k


Business
French snail farmers lament sluggish year. Subby could not improve on that
fark.com/comments/11069049

Linked article: theguardian.com
Raoul Eaton


STEM
The louder a howler monkey roars, the smaller his genitals are. Not a metaphor
fark.com/comments/11569982

Linked article: twitter.com
FrancoFile


Entertainment
I have a Bo Burnham Emmy for that
fark.com/comments/11761490

Linked article: variety.com
NeoCortex42


Fandom
"Dune Is a Ponderous Striptease With a Very Impressive Sandworm." I have no idea what the review actually says; still trying to process this headline
fark.com/comments/11858500

Linked article: slate.com
Pocket Ninja


D'awww
Break dancing kitty seems unfazed by human antics. If Subby tried that there would be "gifts" in the shoes every morning for at least a millennium or so
fark.com/comments/11861392

Linked article: twitter.com
Alex_Lee


Food
Dolly Parton shares her milk gravy recipe and you have to stop clicking before finishing the headlines, people
fark.com/comments/11046395

Linked article: today.com
vudukungfu


Politics
Conservative radio host who mocked vaccines dies of COVID. This is not a repeat from every couple days the last few weeks
fark.com/comments/11701637

Linked article: thedailybeast.com
wiredroach
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Fun with Sri Lankan shipping companies, & Fark Headline of the Year Livestream coming out
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-22 2:24:46 PM (23 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Tuesday morning, FriarReb98 sent in a Farkback asking why we hadn't posted the 12 millionth link.  I'm glad he wrote in because I had no idea we were so close.  As luck would have it, a spammer submitted the 12 millionth link early that morning - for some shipping company in Sri Lanka named after Jar Jar Binks' catchphrase.  Hopefully everyone enjoyed mocking them as much as I did.  Plus I guess if I need anything moved in Sri Lanka, I have someone to call.

Headline of the Year voting closed yesterday.  Thanks to everyone who voted!  Because...

Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Headline of the Year Livestream! I'll be presenting for the first time anywhere the runner ups and winners of Fark's 2021 Headline of the Year contests.  Several qualifying submitters already hang out in the stream chat most weeks, so you'll be able to tell them yourself how much you loved their winning submissions.  We'll also be presenting the weirder stories in the news this week.  Lots of Christmas stuff - including the 1922 story of a bunch of kids from one small Florida town who for some reason that year sent Santa Claus a surprisingly large quantity of hate mail.   We'll have more Christmas weirdness, and Science!
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
DoBeDoBeDo discovered that if you search long enough, you can find a solution to any problem
EvilEgg was ready to take over hubiestubert's restaurant
JessieL explained why you should buy a brass knuckle Jesus dual taco holder butt plug
Ragin' Asian agreed that a clothing brand made a poor choice when naming a child's dress
thealgorerhythm's idea for renaming the dress was really no better
Subtonic once won a major award
EvilEgg made a huge mistake
physt proved that every generation thinks the next one is spoiled
JerseyTim knew who should've been named Person of the Year
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated what you should do when neckties go out of style

Smart:
Martian_Astronomer was unsurprised by a recent development on this planet
hebrides was interviewed by Washington Post about the financial devastation caused long COVID, and shared with us the ongoing struggles of living with the effects of the disease
Unobtanium noted that passengers take a whole lot of orders from flight attendants
Ragin' Asian made a lot of Farkers suddenly wish Anne Rice had been their aunt
Subtonic once won a major award
Harlee stays away from fresh fruit and vegetables

CSB Sunday MorningStrangest Christmas presents
Smart: Lunakki got enough marbles to win Squid Game
Smart (honorable mention because this story won last year): kokomo61 gave the sweetest Christmas present
Funny: MIAppologia had reason enough right here to divorce this douchewaffle

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Shostie proved that the War on Christmas is real
Notabunny explained why people have mixed feelings about Kentucky
special20 took a guess at how to complete a photo of Marjorie Taylor Greene
Sin'sHero told us why Chris Wallace finally left Fox News after 18 years
EvilEgg figured out how to finally bring peace to the Middle East

Politics Smart:
mrshowrules pointed out that kids might already be learning things concerned citizens claim Tennessee schools will teach them
Psychopusher explained why the governor of Colorado is wrong to rule out a mask mandate, and why we all should keep wearing them
rickythepenguin discussed the history of Native American voting rights
Cyberluddite had a good explanation of why people who are following health guidelines can't just say "eh, screw 'em" about those who refuse to be responsible
Nadie_AZ brought up a reason certain senators might not be eager to pass the Build Back Better Act


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba did the distracted boyfriend meme, sci-fi style
kabloink made more trouble for Al Franken
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us how talented amphibians are made
kabloink really surprised Darth Vader
Yammering_Splat_Vector wrote a romance novel
RedZoneTuba showed where stereotypes come from
Nojimbo gave misery some company
Herb Utsmelz made a playful update to the iconic Rolling Stones logo
fluffy_pope had help for worried and frightened dog owners
dlarsen222 brought some excitement to fishing

Fartist FridayTo celebrate "Monkey Day," create a poem about our primate pals
RedZoneTuba wrote a limerick about a surly primate

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Our theme is Show & Tell Vol. 14: Winter Wonderland. SHOW us your favorite artwork you've created, or create something new, featuring the winter season and TELL us about it.

FarktographyDown to Earth
common sense is an oxymoron ducked down to get a good photo


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Happy birthday to Bob Barker, who is 98 today. He can't get much closer to 100 without going over

World's largest vegan burger weighs over 358 pounds - of sadness

It is 11,000 years old. Pick it, and it has an 8 year shelf life. It is hyper-resistant to disease. It is the Uberspud, the Top Tater, the Godtato

Bread lines grow in Turkey as inflation soars. See, that's why you cook the dressing outside of the bird, people

Heal hydra

Demolition company will have to charge a flat fee

Butt slapped

Perhaps the surviving managers can apply at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory

With a location description as vague as that, it's a wonder they found her at all

Two key organizers of the TrumpCoup have seen the writing on the wall. Not the shiat that was literally written on the wall during the riot, but metaphorical writing to save their real asses

Ant queen's genes determine the sex of entire colonies. No word on louse's blouses

Stressed out front-line health care workers who are doom-and-gloomin' may soon see help courtesy of shroomin'

If taking ivermectin isn't risky enough, COVID deniers must now confront counterfeit ivermectin. How will they be able to tell?

Photographer tracks down subjects he photographed over 40 years later to recreate the scenes. Story developing

Military tests Solid State Laser weapon, misses a golden opportunity by failing to fill house with popcorn first

'The Book of Boba Fett' trailers have been boring because producers only wanted to include footage from the first half of the first episode. Presumably after that is when Baby Jabba shows up

You can now mail order an abortion. Just be careful packaging any returns


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, and I think I might try a tornado omelet over the Christmas break. I'd like to get it perfected before I go trying to impress my nieces and nephews. Unfortunately, no one made the 1000 club, so I'll just have to eat my first attempts by my lonesome. On the Quiz itself, Evildog came out on top with 934, followed by Glockenspiel Hero in second with 921 and bud jones in third with 914. a far candle made fourth with 910, and kabloink made it into the top five with 893.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where to find the world's climate change data, in case you borrow Drew's time machine and go forward a couple of hundred years and everyone is demanding to know what happened and just how nice of a guy Keanu Reeves actually was and why we didn't put him in charge of solving the crisis. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that the Powers That Be thought they'd make future people work for it by sticking it in Australia surrounded by things trying to kill the survivors of the climate apocalypse. I don't know what to tell them about not putting Keanu in charge of this, it seems like it's worth a shot.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about the CEO of better.com and how he wasn't being better last week. 93% of quiztakers knew that he had fired 900 employees during a mass Zoom call, which seems to be a holdover pandemic tradition that hopefully won't stick around too long. I mean, it could have been worse, he could have called everyone into the office to do it. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what Pete Davidson and his buddy Machine Gun Kelly have been up to when they're not spending time with women who everyone thinks are out of their league. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that the two had been modeling Calvin Klein underwear on the company's official Instagram page. I think we can agree that "CK underwear models" should move them up a few notches on which women are "out of their league". 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about how a few entrants to a Saudi Arabian camel beauty contest got busted for cheating. 93% of quiztakes knew that dozens of camels were banned for the use of Botox injections to plump up their... um... whatever things the judges decide should be "plump" on a camel. I'm thinking I'm just fine without further details, so I'm not looking for any more. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Tornadoes, bourbon, & voting for Fark Headline of the Year
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-12-15 3:50:41 PM (23 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

A bunch of folks have asked if we were affected by the Kentucky tornadoes last weekend.  The two largest ones went just north and just south of the county I live in, so we weren't directly impacted.  However, pretty much everyone knows someone affected. People have asked me where the best place is to donate to help. There are about a million organizations doing fundraising, but so far the best one I've come across is the Kentucky Bourbon Benefit. Starting tomorrow they'll be auctioning off rare and interesting booze, all proceeds from the auctions will be then added to the main state fundraiser Team Western Kentucky Tornado Relief Fund.  That's the one I'd recommend, because booze and benevolence are a great combo.

Coming tomorrow: It's the 2021 Headline of the Year contest.  I have personally compiled the best hundred or so headlines of the year, each week every week for the entire year.  And now we have finalists!  You bunch are damn talented headline writers; at times while creating the list of finalists I laughed so hard I scared the cats.  We need your votes to help decide a winner.  Vote early, vote often.  Winners to be announced next week!

This week on the Fark News Livestream: Join me, Christine, Dill, probably Trevor, and maybe Rebecca for omicron updates, talking psychotic cats, they finally caught those damn zebras, and a roundup of strange things showing up in donation bins across the country.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Spice Must Flow knew the ultimate way to top off the punishment for people who throw "air rage" tantrums on planes
EnzoTheCoder had a suggestion to "help" Combustion do some independent research
AbuHashish found that the design for Amazon's planned shipping containers for cargo ships they'll charter is already done
Rectum damn near killed em showed the kind of thing that's definitely not on AmbassadorBooze's computer
Gordon Bennett wanted to reach out to Monkees co-founder Michael Nesmith's loved ones
JessieL had confusing feelings brought on by a Fark headline
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat remembered where Nesmith came from
freakingmoron inspired the slogan, "It's Not A Cult, It's Fark"
azpenguin made Kia's new SUV look more like the meme with a similar name
hobnail was sad to read an article about a strange series of events that resulted in the drowning deaths of 10 geese
beezeltown explained why authorities should've known sooner when a man was paid to take up to 10 other people's COVID-19 vaccinations in one day

Smart:
hubiestubert suggested airlines could work together on more than just price fixing
ryebread explained why one common theme in works of fiction just hits differently now
FleshFlapps pointed out that you're wrong if you think a crow knows nothing
zbtop brought up part of why the biggest retailers in the U.S. are the way they are
edmo revealed one way to be treated well and get unearned privileges
Sliding Carp shared a memory of Michael Nesmith

CSB Sunday MorningIt seemed like a good idea at the time
Smart: Petey4335 learned that sometimes doing an entire project yourself can cost you something much more valuable than the money you saved
Funny: MusicMakeMyHeadPound found out that using your toddler's words for things can get rather awkward

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja considered the fact that counties that voted for Donald Trump have a higher COVID-19 death rate
OdradekRex came up with a name for Louie Gohmert's band with Gaetz and Greene
Metastatic Capricorn thought that a huge part of Bob Dole's legacy had been forgotten
mrshowrules acquired immunity the natural way
educated had a bone to pick with giantmeteor

Politics Smart:
eurotrader had bad news for your attorney
Aussie_As examined an attempt by Fox News to blame the Oxford school shooting on "liberal school personnel"
flamark thought that John McCain and Bob Dole had a lasting impact on the Republican Party
OldRod looked at why President Biden hasn't been able to "beat the virus" yet
koder saw the sad way in which Marjorie Taylor Greene was right to compare COVID-19 to cancer


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
kabloink revealed what the original Chewbacca looked like
RedZoneTuba brought in a dancer to play football
dlarsen222 showed beloved comic strip characters about to jump off a cliff
Driver made a pre-pre-prequel to a classic war movie
west.la.lawyer found out what happens when a chiropractor really wanted to be an architect
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this kitty room to branch out
Yammering_Splat_Vector decided to do away with winter
Yammering_Splat_Vector's apartment building just remembered someplace else it needs to be
TrollingForColumbine touched His Noodly Appendage
RedZoneTuba bore witness to a miracle

Farking Tip: If you think you might enjoy the cheap thrill of getting a submission greenlit on Fark, consider submitting a Photoshop contest. Normally a few Fark Photoshop contests go to the Fark Main page every day, but the Fark admins don't always have a lot of Photoshop submissions to choose from - so you have a decent chance of getting a greenlight if you put one in the hat. You can see all the current and upcoming greenlit contests here, including Caption, Fartist Friday, and Farktography threads. 

Fartist FridayCreate artwork showing your pretend time machine in a historical event
thatguyoverthere70 went back in time to use the Force

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate "Monkey Day," create a poem about our primate pal or one in honor of iconic Monkee Mike Nesmith who recently passed. You can write a haiku, limerick, free verse, sonnet, etc, all newly-created for this contest.


FarktographyA Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever
Lovesandwich photographed a branch of vibrant plumeria blossoms


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Two local residents who went maskless at zoo test positive for COVID-19 after showing symptoms, ask for privacy citing HIPPO regulations

Many, many days late, the National Baseball Hall of Fame is no longer a Buck short

The COVID-19 vaccination map looks almost exactly like the 2020 election map, which I guess means that we can just overturn the entire pandemic with a few strategically placed lawsuits of questionable validity

German man performing castrations on eight men lied about being medically trained. His only reference was getting someone unstuck from a chair with slightly spaced out planks

Suspect in the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi arrested in Paris; story still coming together

Waking up right after drifting off to sleep can boost creativity, especially if you're in the fast lane on the 405 freeway

Close the book on French Open director Guy Forget. Who? Exactly

Have they tried taking him out of the casket and blowing on him?

People are buying drugs via Instagram. I mean, it's right there in the name

Joey Chestnut eats 17 pounds of shrimp cocktail in eight minutes. Oh sure, when he does it he's a winner, when subby does it he's "ruined the company Christmas party"

Today may be Heisenberg's 120th birthday

New Super Stealthy Navy destroyer is covered in rust. Protip: If you're gonna spend $9 billion, get the undercoating


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learn that Andy Griffith's generosity with his coworkers in the 1960s and '70s directly led to his career resurgence in the 1980s . On the Quiz itself,  Redh8t's score of 1018 took our top spot and a ticket to the 1000 club, where we'll be playing back-to-back episodes of "Salvage 1" all week on an old VCR and 19" TV combo strapped to a wheeled metal stand with "A/V Room" painted on in silver magic marker, salvaged from an elementary school in 1988. Denjiro took second with 978 and ThunderChild took third with 959. dochaha made fourth with 943, and spudbeach made it into the top five with 937. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about China's space program. Only 21% of quiztakers knew that the Zhurong rover and Tianwen-1 spacecraft are currently studying Mars. Yes, the Chinese also thought it would be cool to drive a RC car around on another planet, so at least we Americans can say it's not just us, it's an innate human need to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new terrain and new racetracks, to boldly drive things around where no man has driven things around before. (Yes, China also has a rover on the moon - the Yutu-2.)

The  easiest question on Hard Quiz was about what the Wright Brothers were doing in Dayton, OH before they got bored and went to the beach to fly a really big kite with one of them strapped to it. 96% of quiztakers knew that they ran a bicycle shop back in 1892. I'm wondering if they could already foresee the aggressiveness of the average American driver while around slower cyclists and decided to just abandon roads altogether. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was amazingly about the Konami Code. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that it first showed up in the NES game Gradius. When the programmer porting the game from the arcade version thought it was too hard for him to playtest, he added a way of getting all the game's power-ups so he could actually make it through the game. He forgot to remove it before the game went to production, but everyone loved it - mainly because they thought the game was too hard, too (it was originally designed to eat quarters). Konami repeated it in further releases, notably Contra. The code didn't work on Metroid, which was developed in-house by Nintendo.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what Jim Belushi has been up to lately while we're all not watching "The World According to Jim" reruns. 88% of quiztakers caught the report from a "Men's Health" reporter who went skinny dipping with him and toured his Mothership 1 & 2 greenhouses where he grew his artisanal cannabis. I'm guessing he's trying to find the right strain that will let him forget about the entire "K-9" series (yes, he actually made three of those).

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again this week.
· · ·


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