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Fark NotNewsletter: I did WHAT 318 times?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-08-26 11:30:54 AM (29 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Thanks to all the TotalFarkers who participated in our tab re-organization discussion last Friday.  You had some great suggestions and we're likely going to implement at least one of them.  Stay tuned.  Meanwhile, if you're not currently a TotalFarker and would like to have input on future Fark feature changes, sign up for TotalFark and join us for the next conversation.

The News Meta has been interesting this week.  Last week, coinciding with the start of the DNC, the media cycle became very politics heavy.  This week the trend continues, in fact to the point where there wasn't enough non-political material for us to do a livestream Monday.  There's not a ton today either, however I'm still compiling and maybe we'll do a short one today at 3 p.m. Eastern regardless.  Be sure to catch the Fark News Livestream on our Twitch channel if you can.  

Speaking of the livestream, our start times have been moving around a bit, but our Friday Fark Movie Nights have settled into a consistent 10:30 p.m. start time.  Hopefully that's late enough for west coast Farkers to join us as well.  Hope to see you then!  Look for a stickied link on the main page near start time, as well as an embedded Twitch video player that will appear on the sidebar whenever we're doing the livestream. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 

A message from your friendly neighborhood DisseminationMonkey

Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of the first Fark Newsletter. It wasn't until the third one that we started calling it the Fark NotNewsletter. There's been one every single week since then, so now I have written... OMFG, this is the 318th Fark (Not)Newsletter that I've written. That's a heck of a lot of notnewslettering. The NotNewsletter has changed a lot over the years, but one thing that hasn't changed is that the Fark community has been wonderful and smart and funny through everything. I'm one lucky monkey to get to call attention to how clever you all are week after week.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
CarnySaur knew what really ruined a wedding in Hawaii
foo monkey explained why it was so wrong to interrupt a wedding that was violating public health measures
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That even has one for Katy Perry's sexual misconduct allegations
ThatGuyFromTheInternet hoped a woman remembered what's important when she decided to put a stop to a wedding
Tanqueray was confused by the news that Notre Dame had to stop holding in-person classes eight days into the semester
Billy Liar reacted to Charlotte Hornets radio announcer John Focke accidentally tweeting a racial slur
fatassbastard showed what Bennie Crabtree was referring to when discussing the decision to close credit accounts on 9/11
Codenamechaz was disappointed enough to flub a line from a movie
Dafatone put the choice to go to the Sturgis motorcycle rally this year into perspective
Nick Nostril had advice to anyone who falls ill after having attended to Sturgis motorcycle rally

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
This week, we had to choose an entire thread because not only was it so much fun, it would've pushed most of the other threads right out of the NotNewsletter. So head on over and enjoy the Safety Sign Generator thread

Smart:
BoothbyTCD examined what a former Navy SEAL who claims to have killed Osama bin Laden is bragging about
Dewey Fidalgo argued that a man who keeps living off one accomplishment probably wasn't the one who accomplished it anyway
FreakyBunny had a reminder for anyone who loses someone who didn't take COVID-19 seriously
cryinoutloud didn't believe a story that got a former Navy SEAL's DUI charge dropped
Mr Guy considered excuses for holding a wedding on a closed Hawaiian beach
studebaker hoch figured out what to do if Apple forces you to add in-app purchases so they can take a cut
Prank Call of Cthulhu admired this one easy trick for selling stolen rare items from prestigious libraries
Magorn discussed a jury being tasked with deciding the cause of George Floyd's death
swaniefrmreddeer mathematically compared Canada's Florida to actual Florida
Boudyro argued that men should take a seat

CSB Sunday Morning: Shall we play a game? Stories about things that happened while you were playing a game
Smart: GRCooper turned an online game into serious business
Funny: Ghastly and guild got to hear some backstage drama

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: The Pope of Manwich Village reacted to someone saying they jumped into the pool to get away from a bee
Smart: Bathia_Mapes wasn't about to fall for this trick
Smart: libranoelrose gave advice on making fried rice
Funny: unremarkable asterisk helped out in a thread asking what kind of supplies a 93-year-old needs
Funny: unremarkable asterisk replied to: "You wake up, flap your arms and find out you can fly. Where's the first place you go?"

Politics Funny:
wejash's car was being suba-rude about Donald Trump telling his followers to boycott Goodyear
phlegmjay commented on Trump's turn of phrase
Barfmaker considered things from Lara Trump's point of view
odinsposse was shocked to hear about a group of people being arrested
Person Woman Man Camera TV did not appreciate a headline quoting a political yard sign

Politics Smart:
thatguyoverthere70 thought that a video of Joe Biden talking to a boy who stutters was revealing
arrogantbastich argued that Trump's history shows how he likely feels about the recent death of his brother
null made a bold statement about action that can be taken to protect the U.S. Postal Service
BizarreMan wanted Democrats to capitalize from the Senate going on vacation without handling important legislation first
Ker_Thwap discussed how watching the news can affect the elderly


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
theteacher designed a 2020 commemorative postage stamp that's ironic, don't ya think?
Mojongo showed that Elvis Presley was apparently a bit jealous of the Beatles
whitebelly remembered Elvis' time in the U.S. Army
MathProf gave an indication that our hatred of 2020 is mutual
maxandgrinch found a way to relax and keep the kids out of trouble
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that Ron Paul needs some updated signs
kabloink found out what happens when veggies go bad
PhotoshopCrazy showed President Trump counting on the professionals
Mojongo got a stand-in for the Alabama Power building's statue's day off
Moosedick Gladys Greengroin ventured forth with the Holy Hand Grenade

Fartist Friday: Create a device to enforce social distancing around you
Iggie figured that sometimes you gotta go out strapping if you want to stay safe

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Lemon Juice Party! Help celebrate "National Lemon Juice Day" with a party. Life's given us a bunch of lemons, so show us what you'll make out of them. You can use actual lemons, Photoshop-type programs, or Paint/Draw programs. Note: Use of NSFW or SFW images from nekked movies or films is not allowed, even if made SFW.

Farktography:
Lovesandwich won Farktography Contest No. 798: "Places of Worship 2" with a photo from inside St. Pierre Cathedral in Geneva, Switzerland

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where I learned that sometimes labels are important, but my Dad will eat darn near anything anyway. On the Quiz itself, baka-san came out on top with 979, followed by Salted Metal Honey in second with 921 and uncledinAZ in third with 919, flowerpower took fourth with 912, and Denjiro rounds out the top five with 896.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over how the government in parts of the Scottish Highlands were dealing with the lack of toilet facilities in many areas. Only 28% of quiztakers were able to translate the BBC report well enough to understand that "trowels" left in "lay-bys" for those "needing the loo" meant that you were expected to stop at a car park, grab a community-provided shovel, dig a hole, do your business, cover it up, and then return the shovel. I mean, I guess if the cats can do it, Scottish folks can, too. No word on if one of these la-bys are near the 14th green at Trump Turnberry.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was, oddly enough, the geography question. 78% of quiztakers knew that Mount Sinabung, which erupted during the week, can be found in the archipelago of Indonesia, happily piping out its scent into airports and mall food courts throughout the region and offering products so large you're sick of them before you can finish.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over NASA's Dawn spacecraft and the recently released data on its study of Ceres. Only 42% knew that Ceres was the largest asteroid in the asteroid belt between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter, which many scientists believe was at one point a planet that was destroyed in a cosmic fender-bender. No word on if it goes good with milk.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over Germany's Krone Circus and how it's working to make ends meet. 94% of quiztakers knew that a few Euros would get you a jar of lion poop to spread around your garden to keep out nuisance gazelles and dik-diks, since I'm not sure if squirrels and rabbits are familiar enough with lions. Or maybe it really does smell that bad, and will also keep out nuisance neighbors who like stealing your rutabagas or cabbages or whatever Germans plant in their home gardens. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here

Once again, congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Last chance to get TotalFarked for cheap
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-08-19 2:51:45 PM (84 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week was well.

A couple items of note - first off, today is the last day to sign up for TotalFark at the old subscription rates.  The price is changing tomorrow for the first time in nearly 20 years to $100 per year.  You can still grab a year of TotalFark at the current price, as well as load up on Farks2Give which we're treating as forever stamps and will always be worth one month of TotalFark, to be given to someone else or use yourself.   If you've been waiting for the right time to subscribe, today is the day - get to it!  If you have questions about renewing a current TotalFark subscription, please contact Farkback for help.

Also, last week on TotalFark we solicited ideas for new rotating Fark catchphrases that go under the TotalFark logo, and we received nearly 400 submissions.  A couple of my favorite ones were "Our Boomers are OK" by NuclearPenguins and "Why not have your psychotic episode with us?" by Mikaloyd.  We'll be adding most of these to the rotation soon.  The catchphrase thread is here, but you must be a TotalFarker to see it.

This week, tomorrow or Friday, we'll be having a discussion on possible Fark tab changes, including a very specific issue that I won't spoil here.  Join us and help us solve it!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Carter Pewterschmidt feared a lightning strike might've revealed a serious problem
Jack Sabbath noticed a hero in a scary video
UberDave interpreted the song "WAP"
I Ate Shergar showed a still from a video from one of those tube sites
Inyego told us what happens if you get COVID-19 twice
olapbill noticed something strange about complaints that Apple News+ is hurting publishers
isamudyson described the rewarding experience of nearly being struck by lightning while delivering a pizza
Farking Clown Shoes explained why a man decided to take hidden camera videos of family and church members showering
kbronsito named a couple of movies made for grown-ups that kids can also enjoy
Badmoodman reacted to the idea of being upset that your child ate Indian food at a friend's house

Smart:
Ivo Shandor discussed news that people could be protected for up to three months after recovering from COVID-19
Devolving_Spud mentioned an additional reason to love Dolly Parton
optikeye considered why people are making public scenes over attempts to decrease the spread of the virus
Devolving_Spud had another story about Dolly Parton kicking ass
NeedlesslyCanadian explained why Christopher Eccleston left "Doctor Who"
BeesNuts and Beerguy explained how a five (at least) stooges style of policing resulted in an accidental shooting
FarkingSmurf knew where some cows got the idea for their method of self defense

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: weddingsinger had good reason to sing
Funny: we'refromthesamestory paraphrased Ben Shapiro (no, really)
Smart: Loris made a suggestion for couples who disagree about music
Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat discussed hiding pants situations in school

Politics Funny:
bloobeary pointed out what a man who apparently threatened the president did wrong
AlHarris31 had a plan since Joe Biden didn't choose Tammy Duckworth as his running mate
Mike_LowELL got really excited when President Trump announced an urgent news conference
Uranus Megahertz guessed what Trump was up to over the weekend
thorpe warned us that a ranting mask hater who was carried out by his son is actually tough

Politics Smart:
Chariset had a message for Republican Senators
blastoh suggested reporters collaborate on a strategy for Trump's next press conference
markie_farkie predicted what Trump will do if he loses the election
Purple_Urkle had a better idea to "stick it to the people trying to #DefundthePolice"
Cagey B argued that FiveThirtyEight did not "fark up" their forecast for the 2016 presidential election


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave a cheery motel a spooky feel
Herb Utsmelz made the perfect disaster movie to show in theaters right now
Vortex Dweller artistically illustrated these accommodations
RedZoneTuba wondered how many angels like this one could dance on the head of a pin
Fark is not supposed to be RedZoneTuba's personal erotica site
Herb Utsmelz gave this sailor a new pipe for his "spinach"
hail2daking tried to rent a friend
Godscrack had to have this guy fill in for the drummer
Thrakkorzog found the men of the corn
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed the team that God is rooting for

Captions:
From
"What is this raccoon saying into the mic?":
Madman drummers bummers heard it hatching an escape plan
Grumpy Cat figured it was more interested in proselytizing than prostheses
Grumpy Cat knew what raccoons' interests are
From "Caption this conversation":
Grumpy Cat warned us about the early bird
Cache overheard a cardinalspiracy theory

Fartist Friday: In honor of "Chant At The Moon Day," create an ode to our enigmatic satellite the moon in the form of a haiku
wearsmanyhats made a startling discovery while worshiping the moon. There are many more great entries, so make sure to check them out. 

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Social Distancing Inventions - Make your own original device to enforce a safe boundary around you when you're in public. You can actually build it with things like hula hoops, pool noodles, and hats with big-ass brims, or you can design it using MS Paint (or its equivalent) or pen and paper. Sorry, no Photoshop-type programs allowed.  

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 797: "Mechanical Muscle" ended in a tie between Herb Utsmelz's photo of the machine that puts the "fun" in "funicular" and Lovesandwich's look at Saturn V's five mighty F-1 engines

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we saw the good and the likely soon-to-be-regrettable COVID-19 merch available for sale and derision. On the Quiz itself, RaceDTruck came out on top with the comfy chair in the 1000 club with his score of 1019, followed by rider_you_know in second with 994 and Oliver Twisted in third with 987. The Third Man and Denjiro tied for fourth with 955, and FrancoFile takes fifth with 945.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over a couple of teenagers who had drifted out to sea (as teenagers are wont to do) off the coast of Scotland. Only 28% of quiztakers had caught the story and knew they were riding an inflatable donut, complete with sprinkles, as teenagers are somewhat less wont to do. I'm trying to guess how that emergency call from the shore must have went, and I'm thinking something like "Aye, some wee bairns oot tair face are asea wit tair bahookies on a gran doonut! Aye, wit de splrinklies! Nae, ma bum's in the window! A doonut, I say! Mon, noo, tay lookin' shoogly! Och, aye, the noo!" ...which the 999 operator understood perfectly, hence the rescue.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over Pocari Sweat. 86% of quiztakers knew that this was a Japanese sports drink that has achieved some measure of popularity both inside and outside Japan. I can't wait until it hits a country with some famous person named "Pocari". I imagine sales volume could go either way depending on what the person was famous for.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over what brand of bee... I mean, American pilsner is giving away free beer to an entire city at the conclusion of the NFL season, assuming there is one. Only 49% of quiztakers remembered that Philadelphia sports bar patrons were all treated to a free Bud Light after the Eagles' Superb Owl win two years ago, and now the brand is brokering a showdown between two kickers famous for viral videos of long field goals in practice, with the winner getting free beer for their city. No word on what happens when Atlanta brings Morten Andersen back out of retirement AGAIN, but I'm guessing he would drink all the free beer himself. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over whose 1965 Mustang was just restored by Jason Momoa. 91% of quiztakers knew that the restoration was a gift for his wife Lisa Bonet, who he has admired ever since her days on That Show We Don't Talk About Anymore where she was working when she bought it back at the age of 17. Guys, trust me when I say that getting your wife's car repaired is NOT a birthday gift - unless you're Jason Momoa. And you're not. So get her car fixed AND get her a birthday present. Seriously.

If you missed out on last week's fun you can catch up on the Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Person, beaver, dam, satellite, TV
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-08-12 12:04:16 PM (67 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.  

A feature I've wanted to do for awhile is a weekly news cycle meta-analysis in the NotNewsletter, which would be sort-of taking the pulse of the news cycle in general.  The problem has been that up until recently, things were locked into a COVID-19 centric cycle that didn't change much at all since mid-March, until probably about two weeks ago.

As for the current news cycle meta, for the past week, pre-covid weird news has been creeping back into the cycle on a daily basis.  I don't know if this is because furloughs at news outlets are on the decline or if Florida Man has just decided to pick up the slack lately.  For example, I don't think Monday's excellent article from the CBC about why there are satellite dishes on beaver dams all across Canada would see the light of day during a COVID-heavy news cycle.  The sports news meta cycle seems very much on edge with the prospect of no college sports this fall.  The politics meta seems ready to take the rest of the week off before convention season starts in earnest next week.

A quick housekeeping note: We're rejiggering subscriptions on Fark - now TotalFark includes the no-ads experience of BareFark.  Prices are also going up for the first time in 20 years, however we're not changing them until August 19th.  So if you've ever thought about subscribing, you have one week to lock in at current subscription rates.  For more info on that and other changes, see last week's NotNewsletter.  

One feature of TotalFark that I haven't done a good job of communicating is that TotalFarkers can impact what links get posted on main Fark.  A great example of this happened just yesterday when Biden announced that Harris was his VP pick.  I try to wait about 10-15 minutes to allow enough time for the best headline to be submitted.  We got our first candidate about 5 minutes in, and a second candidate 5 minutes after that (incidentally submitted by the same person, which is cool).  I waited a little longer, redlit all but those two links, and then watched TotalFarkers up/down vote the two links.  The winning headline ended up being the one with the most votes.  This isn't an automatic thing that happens, I still manually greenlit the headline in the end - and if I'd had a strong preference I would have chosen it regardless of voting (unless the vote tallies were enormous, which does happen).  But I was fine with either, and voting determined the eventual winner.  

This tends to happen quite a lot, and it was only last month when a friend of mine pointed out that this is a hugely awesome feature of TotalFark that hardly anyone knows about.  So aside from a no-ads experience, aside from the fact that prices are going up in a week, aside from the great community and early notice about Fark features, you also get the opportunity to impact what goes on Fark's main page.  Sign up today!

At 5 p.m. Eastern today, it's the Fark News Livestream!  More interesting fallout from the Russian vaccine announcement yesterday, an update on how Sturgis-19 is going (not well), and more Yobs In The News.  Join us 5 p.m. on my Twitch channel.

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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
LionHound had one question after watching a video of the fire and subsequent explosion in Beirut
John the Magnificent showed someone taking blame for the Beirut explosion
SurelyShirley helpfully explained what could cause a red cloud like the one in Beirut
Nimbull was thinking about fast food
hobnail spotted a symbolic number
scottydoesntknow summed up a deadly guacamole-making machine explosion
Dahnkster wasn't too worried about Ray Park not reprising the role of Darth Maul for Disney+
Straight Outta Wells Branch remarked on the devastation in Beirut
SoundOfOneHandWanking could understand the risks that a Sturgis Motorcycle Rally attendee thought were worth taking
Abe Vigoda's Ghost showed that NEDM was not pointing out the remains of a destroyed ship

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Al Roker's Forecast explained the main problem with putting a snake in your washing machine

Smart:
bloobeary listed a great year for movies, though the films mentioned did not all fit within the limitations mentioned in the headline
phalamir pointed out that when dumb people do foolish things, it doesn't always mean what you might think it does
weddingsinger argued that it does so mean what you might think it means
blastoh compared reactions to plans being canceled because of the coronavirus
AsparagusFTW hopefully isn't a firefighter
Bovine Diarrhea Virus discussed being able to go out safely, but I'm not sure you want to take the word of another virus
farkingismybusiness noticed people picking and choosing their safety rules
Znuh gave us an update on how things are going 137 days after being released from being hospitalized for COVID-19
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes figured things might've worked out really well for people who didn't properly social distance at a funeral

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: libranoelrose showed what was about to happen to Badafuco's unsteady floor
Smart & Funny: we'refromthesamestory explained why there's no such thing as womansplaining
Funny: thealgorerhythm had some bad news for Badafuco
Smart: Beeblebrox asked the question that keeps us all up at night
Smart: Ponzholio thought a story about a TotalFarker's friend's husband sounded really familiar
Funny: buttercat had a different idea of what's causing a floor to buckle

Politics Funny:
fluffy_pope could imagine how it feels to interview Donald Trump
propasaurus came up with a startling diagnosis
ecmoRandomNumbers figured out why Trump was carrying a stack of papers and newspapers
Learned Hand Job thought perhaps someone's name was based on their conception after all
Noticeably F.A.T. explained why Trump might've visited Walter Reed Medical Center again

Politics Smart:
OldRod looked at how Trump is trying to win the election during a pandemic
markie_farkie shared what a physical therapist said about Trump's gait
Garza and the Supermutants compared the portion of the world population that's American to the percentage of COVID-19 deaths in America
propasaurus figured Trump should be measured by the standards he wants to impose on others
thatguyoverthere70 came up with this one weird trick to turn elderly Americans against Trump


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Snubnose made Roadrunner cartoons defy physics in a whole new way
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave each Devo member their own convention center
Yammering_Splat_Vector made passing out in your bathroom a lot more comfortable
Nothing To See Here gave Raquel some better dinosaur protection
Alligator showed us that Space Force is already developing new weapons
verchad made one of Superman's enemies infinitely more frightening
Yammering_Splat_Vector recorded a modern remake of "Abbey Road"
Herb Utsmelz reminded us not to text while walking
Alligator was sharing Sharon's outlook on the topic of disease
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that love is in the air

Captions:
From "Caption Snow White donating blood":

gopher321 knew who Snow White is donating to
dionysusaur revealed the less altruistic reason she's donating

Fartist Friday: Add a beer to a classic work of art
Be sure to check out the great entries from this contest. Alligator submitted the winning work o'fart with a brewing fog

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: In honor of "Chant At The Moon Day," create an ode to our enigmatic satellite the moon in the form of a Haiku  

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 796: "City Life" ended in a tie between Earguy's view inside Greektown, Detroit and CiliarySpasm's reflection on a cloud

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun and educational time on the Quiz last week, marred by a few technical issues which I'm gonna say were my fault. But interesting improper fractions aside, still fun. Because of the scoring issues, here's last week's top ten: 

Blackstone - 1125
NM Volunteer - 1073
TheMothership - 1072
bingethinker - 1002
SoundOfOneHandWanking - 995
i.r.id10t - 915
LizardOnAStick - 914
Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs - 898
Recoil Therapy - 898
Autoerotic Defenestration - 896

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over our more-in-the-news-than-a-diplomat-should-be US Envoy Harry Harris, who just shaved his mustache last week. Only 32% of Quiztakers knew that he served in South Korea, who lived under Imperial Japanese colonial rule prior to World War II, and whose "governor-generals" tended to wear mustaches. I guess it's one of those things where maybe you should be mindful of local customs when representing a foreign government. No word yet on sales figures for his latest K-Pop track.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over advice offered by firefighters in Charlotte County, FL after responding to a call in the parking lot of the local Culver's restaurant. 77% of quiztakers knew that "Don't drive with a burning candle in your car" is great advice that we all kinda knew - at least those of us not from Florida. Get one of those tree thingies for your rearview mirror like normal folks.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over a Georgia Tech researcher's effort to create new music using Artificial Intelligence. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that he was receiving copyright takedown notices for music he had created with his program and uploaded under the name "Weird A.I. Yankovic". I'm guessing the entire music industry just let off a gigantic "wait, we can do that? And not pay the actual artists and songwriters?" and will soon offer to take this useless-to-him technology off his hands for a modest sum.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over where Tom Hanks and Rita Hayworth have recently put down roots as legal citizens. 80% of quiztakers knew that they have produced films like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" about Greek culture as well as "Mama Mia" and "My Life in Ruins", which were filmed in the Mediterranean nation. Best of luck and lots of feta cheese and olives to the happy couple.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on it right here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Because you love change, we're making changes to Fark subscriptions
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-08-05 4:04:16 PM (314 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hello Farkers:

A bit of business news: Fark is reorganizing our subscription membership tiers. In part this is due to feedback we received during our recent tests.

The cost of doing business has gone up since we first launched subscriptions in early 2002 and we're bringing our membership fees in line with 2020, as well as streamlining BareFark and TotalFark features.

Membership Tiers

We've heard you! All paying members now get the ad-free experience.

TotalFark - Effective immediately, TotalFark includes the BareFark ad-free experience.  You also get live access to all content, all submitted links, and the entire Fark community.

Additional features include the ability to influence editorial decisions on links via voting, access to TotalFark discussions away from the prying eyes of social media and search engines, full access to two decades of archived nonsense, and first looks at upcoming Fark features, such as the much-requested swear jar allowing TotalFarkers both the ability and the discretion to drop an occasional F-bomb.

BareFark - Ad-free access to Fark's basic content and the public areas of the Fark community with an ad-free experience. Get the basics and never see another weird t-shirt ad again!

Farker - Ad-supported access to Fark's basic content and the public areas of the Fark community.

New pricing takes effect August 19, two weeks from today:

$100 for the year for the TotalFark Membership. This includes a bonus Farks2Give, worth one month of TotalFark. Use it on yourself or give it to someone else. There will also be an option to pay monthly at $10 per month.

$50 for the year for BareFark Membership.  There will also be an option to pay monthly at $5 per month.

The yearly memberships work out to $8.33 and $4.16 per month, respectively.

What else?

$10 for one Farks2Give.  Existing Farks2Give will be treated like Forever Stamps and will be worth 1 month of TotalFark regardless of what price was paid for them

Current pricing remains in effect until Aug 19th, so if you're looking for a reason to sign up for TotalFark or BareFark, this is it. Current memberships will continue as is until renewed.

Also since BareFark is now included in TotalFark, we'll be issuing a blanket unsubscribe for BareFark for folks who have both subscriptions. If we miss anyone, contact us via FarkBack and let us know.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
EvilEgg's mom does not accept returns
WGJ got excited and showed a nipple
HeathenHealer noted problems when a man was arrested for taunting cops with a doughnut
rattchett had a special message for Ryan Reynolds
Bootleg worried about a wing walker who replaced a plane's missing tire mid-flight
WordsnCollision knew where the idea for the rolling machine workout came from
thealgorerhythm revealed who tricked people with damaged mushrooms into thinking masks are dangerous
I Ate Shergar sang about some of the 50 ways to get COVID-19
Nadie_AZ gave a warning about a video of Charlize Theron taking it all off
PainInTheASP reacted to mask advice from Cary Elwes

Smart:
luna1580 considered people claiming mental illness after being caught behaving badly
Dead for Tax Reasons made an important point about wearing masks that many people seem to be overlooking
Xai discussed walking on eggshells around cops to avoid problems
eagles95 shared a story about running into an angry anti-masker in the wild
Dead for Tax Reasons explained to Florida why it pays to choose your battles wisely
Therion told us what it was like to work with Cary Elwes
Louisiana_Sitar_Club showed how innovative a new exercise machine is
maddan predicted a horrific accident with an exercise machine
RoyFokker'sGhost discussed the differences between Marvel and DC movies
JesseL revealed the secret recipe for success

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer jobs
Smart: CordycepsInYourBrain discovered that sometimes we're too hard on ourselves
Funny: GRCooper's friend figured out how to get GRCooper to do all the driving

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: meg12279 discovered that Mom has been known to party
Funny: sarahthustra thought a lawyer might have a vested interest in advising against reporting an ex's LEGO counterfeiting
Smart: merrillvillain has an unusual fetish
Funny: Brawndo made a cover for meg12279's autobiography
Smart: Murflette knew what a Farker should do with an inherited house

Politics Funny:
40 degree day noted that Herman Cain got to do something important to him before he died
thealgorerhythm was shocked to discover something about Alan Dershowitz
winedrinkingman wanted to know exactly what Herman Cain's death means for the Republican Party
Mike_LowELL enjoyed a snack break
RodneyToady used a Fark headline to remember some important words
GreatGlavinsGhost noticed something inappropriate in blastoh's comment

Politics Smart:
Benevolent Misanthrope thought about the attention Dr. Stella Immanuel is getting
bloobeary shared expectations for the upcoming U.S. presidential election
King Something mostly got it right when taking a guess on a Trump backtrack
weddingsinger had faint praise for Antonio Sabato Jr.
Badmoodman reassured Erick Erickson that Republicans would never do the terrible thing Obama did

Note: Farkers had a lot to say about Herman Cain's death, mainly having to do with the unfortunate politicization of COVID-19 and attempts to mitigate its spread, and the fact that Cain died after making a show of being careless about protecting himself and others from the virus.


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
hail2daking found the Beatles' forgotten album
hail2daking showed us a long-awaited Meat Loaf follow-up album
Thrakkorzog made an antisocial Zoom background for teachers to use
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered this girl can magically make a songbird disappear
Driver's Zoom background is technically safe for work, but you might want to be careful
Nothing To See Here found out pyro kids can come in handy
RedZoneTuba's school bus had a surreal side mirror
Thrakkorzog showed that this rodent band should get gentler roadies
kabloink made a Milton trap
Pfighting Polish found the perfect entertainment for the Catalina Wine Mixer

Fartist Friday: Show and tell, volume 2
JustToLetYouKnowFriend built a chest suitable for dungeons and/or dragons

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Use a Photoshop or paint/draw program to upgrade a classical work of art by adding a beer

Farktography:
Earguy loaded up on carbs to win Farktography Contest No. 795: "I Swear I Seed It"

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time with the Quiz this week, and it seems I'm not the only one who gave up on Battletoads back in the NES day. On the Quiz itself, four folks get tickets to our socially distant 1000 outdoor club area. Evildog takes top honors with 1019, followed by Booklet juuuust behind in second with 1018. Auntie Cheesus takes third with 1009, edmo in fourth with 1004, and bobobolinskii finishes out the top five with 956.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about what led a Yorktown, NY man to fire his .22 rifle in his hallway in such a manner that the bullets wound up in his neighbor's bathroom while she was showering. Only 26% of quiztakers knew that he had decided he had a need for some target practice. No word on his skills relating to the actual targets he was shooting at, but I'm guessing he probably didn't receive the best firearm instruction available so the beer cans likely went to the recycler whole.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over who'll be fighting an exhibition match with boxing great Roy Jones Jr. 71% of quiztakers knew that the 51-year-old would be fighting 54-year-old Mike Tyson in a match I'll be happy to make fun of, but not where either of those guys can hear. For comparison, Sylvester Stallone filmed Rocky Balboa in late 2005 through 2006 when he was 59 years old, portraying a character of about that same age.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new scholarship being offered by the humanist group The Satanic Temple. Only 55% of quiztakers knew that applicants were being asked to write an essay about their worst teacher to be considered for the Devil's Advocate scholarship. I think the ultimate irony would be awarding the scholarship to someone attending Liberty University, as I believe not a single person in either organization is gonna want to handle that paperwork.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over how NBC's Today anchor Savannah Guthrie was injured last fall, resulting in her having cataract surgery last week. 92% knew that it was from a toy train owned by her son. Having babysat for my nephew for a while, I can tell you that you should never trust Thomas the Tank Engine. Take a lesson from Sir Topham Hatt and keep that one in Tidmouth Sheds where he can do less damage.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Remember what the hot debate topic was 5 months ago?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-29 2:41:47 PM, edited 2020-07-29 2:51:56 PM (39 comments) | Permalink

It was whether or not it's acceptable to recline your seat on an airplane. Seriously, that topic went on for weeks, with new videos of fisticuffs-filled flights, unwelcome opinions, and endless debates on all forms of media. I remember very well when focus in the U.S. suddenly dropped that topic like a hot potato and shifted to the new virus we'd been hearing about because it felt really weird when I was writing the NotNewsletter and so much of the previous week's discussion was about who should get to be slightly more comfortable on an airplane. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey
________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone - couple of quick notes.

Last week's discussion about TotalFark features and changes etc went great.  Let's do another one tomorrow (Thursday) at 2 p.m. -  I've got a compiled list of all the suggestions and I'll list out which ones are interesting, doable, both, and so on.  

The Fark News Livestream airs again today at 3 p.m.  It won't be as thick as yesterday, but it should still be fun and interesting.  It's going to be strangely Florida-centric today. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
gilgigamesh felt sympathy for a woman who made a scene in a grocery store
Cyberluddite explained how sneezes and coughs are different from farts
mofa pointed out something missing from a list of things restaurants supposedly will never have again
gopher321 yearned for stimulating debate
ThomasPaineTrain knew about top secret personal protective equipment we all need
Devolving_Spud told us an idea for women whose bosses tell them to wear makeup for Zoom meetings
Pocket Ninja guessed at why Chick-Fil-A has had way more COVID-19 outbreaks than any other fast food restaurant in Colorado
NewportBarGuy agreed with a man who refused to follow store policy
JTtheCajun found the fun in the deslidifier putting the wrong photos with the descriptions
scottydoesntknow considered the question of wearing makeup for Zoom meetings

Smart:
HighlanderRPI addressed a popular misconception regarding frivolous lawsuits
markie_farkie gave examples of people not wearing their masks properly
Cyberluddite explained how sneezes and coughs are different from farts
styckx recognized one of those guys you definitely don't want to be
gilgigamesh discussed doing what you enjoy
Pocket Ninja found a positive side to having to wear face coverings to decrease the spread of the virus
Devolving_Spud told us an idea for women whose bosses tell them to wear makeup for Zoom meetings
Hevach argued that ducks smell smoky
feckingmorons answered the question, "Who knew that Navy ships were so flammable?"
Mr. Coffee Nerves had a solution for people who refuse to wear masks on airplanes

CSB Sunday Morning: Pandemic stories
Smart:
runbuh sadly couldn't be there when a loved one died
Funny: FriarReb98 scared a skittish hiker

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: merrillvillain was excited about who might've returned to TotalFark Discussion
Funny: Unikitty should not be allowed to be around dogs
Smart: CommieTaoist ate a ghost pepper for the internet and a good cause
Smart: generalDisdain had reason to doubt a TotalFarker's supposed dating dilemma
Smart: Unikitty straightened out some potato-based breakfast food confusion
Smart: Eclectic explained how it feels to be a transgender person
Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat found a way to benefit from ytterbium's bartering scheme

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Smart:
weddingsinger literally did the math on farts versus COVID-19

Politics Funny:
kbronsito explained why Mitch McConnell's pants looked rather short
ralphjr showed what the Donald Trump campaign might use as an attack ad
BeesNuts made this tear gas deflector for you and me
hobnail had a classic reply to the United States running low on change
markie_farkie found the strange cause that wademh was hoping Sarah Cooper would raise money for

Politics Smart:
NewportBarGuy pointed out one of the most important things the U.S. Postal Service does
KungFuJunkie figured that what looks like a fark-up might be intentional
GardenWeasel described the feeling when the "Wall of Moms" showed up to protest
Ker_Thwap reflected on what a proud man Trump is
Alphax made a prediction about the number of people protesting


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Driver designed the gilded armor of a warrior
opalakea updated Fark's error page photo of Mike
Mojongo took extra care to make sure this tunnel won't collapse
opalakea revealed just how similar dogs can be to their owners
asstamassta made this accidental frankenfish look even more unnatural
Bumcheese showed how Darth Vader ensured he could still be a Jedi Knight
Thrakkorzog discovered that Queen Elizabeth enjoys role-play
Circusdog320 made a mask that might get major Trump fans on board with wearing them
Thrakkorzog reminded us that there are plenty of fish in the sea
hail2daking showed what it's like when the flipper's on the other foot

Fartist Friday: Show us the a Fark-inspired event you'd medal in for the Farklympics
thatguyoverthere70 excelled at the uneven bars

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell, Volume 2. Show us a work of art you've made and tell us the story behind it (entries from previous Fartist threads not eligible)

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 794: "Monumental 2" ended in a tie with MightyMerkin's Milky Way over Stonehenge World War I Memorial and Unobtanium's wall and hanging obelisks of the National Memorial for Peace and Justice

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Beyond Fark - written by quantum_jellyroll's friend sherpa18

Long time Farker quantum_jellyroll has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. He was a regular on the Caturday threads, a Photoshopper extraordinaire and bane of people on the politics tab.

Rick was a sweet, kind, generous guy. He was always ready to answer questions on photography, Photoshop, computers, anything he knew about. Most of all, he loved to make people laugh, and the world will be a sadder place without him in it.

May he rest in peace.

You can read quantum_jellyroll's memorial thread (which, fittingly, is also a Caturday thread) here


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although the 1000 outdoor-masked-properly-socially-distant-club will be empty this week. Which is kinda a good thing, as we just installed a skeet shooting range and the skeets are just really cute and we probably shouldn't shoot them. On the Quiz itself, Data came in first with 983, followed by White Chocolate Morpheus in second with 965 and The Third Man appropriately in third with 934. WoolyManwich made fourth with 921, and zerkalo took fifth with 920.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about their wacky Brits and their booze, namely the classic "Buckfast" originally made by monks in the UK and now popular amongst young people who already have more than one ASBO. As only 29% of quiztakers knew, it's wine fortified with caffeine and even more booze, so it's kinda the 29th century equivalent of FourLoko. Those monks really do know how to throw down.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over the Yakuza and their recent annual tradition of handing out sweets and small gifts to youngsters in their areas. 81% of quiztakers knew that the Japanese cri-... er, legitimate businessmen sometimes illegitimately accused of outlandish behavior targeting others have been attempting to rehabilitate their image with the general population, starting with trying to bring the Western holiday of Halloween to their local areas, with they themselves supplying the treats to youngsters who visit their offices dressed in costume. Which I guess balances out because they also allegedly supply the tricks as well.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over Alex Trebek's favorite animal. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that the long-time "Jeopardy!" host was a huge fan of the Canadian muskox, which he said he likes because of its affinity for family and social groups. Which I guess is understandable, as they usually smell so bad other critters don't want to be around them. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new officially licensed "Central Perk" sign available from many outlets online. 85% of quiztakers knew that this was the coffee shop made famous by the show "Friends," where somehow the characters always had the prime couch available no matter how busy the shop might be. The "Seinfeld" crowd generally had the same seat at Monk's Cafe, but it was never shown as too crowded for them to have realistically found a table. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Things are weird and getting weirderer
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-22 1:07:08 PM (55 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been well. 

Just a quick update today - At 2 p.m. ET this afternoon I'll be hosting a discussion on TotalFark about brainstorming some possible changes to Fark subscriptions.  Keep an eye out for that one, I'd love some input.  

At 3 p.m. ET today we'll be livestreaming the Fark News Summary. Yesterday was a banner day for weird and the past 24 hours seem to be keeping pace. Weird thieves are out in force apparently, among other things. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
JerseyTim explained to Dinki why part of the USS Bonhomme Richard melted
Bootleg had a few questions about a woman's medical reasons for not wearing a face mask
syrynxx is also due some compensation related to Starbucks turning away people who aren't wearing masks
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat had a message for Burger King after their farts tweet
AdmirableSnackbar sang a song for Burger King
Prof. Frink explained the science between different kinds of fuel
thatguyoverthere70 gave a compelling reason to stay downwind
eagles95 is creative about dealing with unwanted political emails from relatives
Diogenes was inspired by a restaurant's name to use a classic joke format
SpectroBoy did the math and figured out how the attack on the World Trade Center was carried out

Smart:
moike shared stories about working with Grant Imahara for a couple of episodes of "Mythbusters"
xanthippe told us about a friend who was afraid she'd inherited a high risk of developing a brain aneurysm
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha revealed this one weird trick for people who complain their masks give them acne
TwowheelinTim's daughter helped Disney by making an ad for them
PenguinTheRed addressed worries that the virus could spread through air conditioning systems
Real Women Drink Akvavit had a talk with Mom about plans to spend her 70th birthday at Disneyland
Rapmaster2000 was a bit worried about a deal at Burger King
NotCodger looked on the bright side of a mask-hater's tirade outside a Walmart
stoli n coke knew what you should do if you're told to cover up your "Black Panther" shirt because a customer claims it's racist
lack of warmth had a personal connection to a U.S. Navy ship that was on fire

CSB Sunday Morning: What's the dumbest way you've hurt yourself?
Smart: USAF Retired ruined a perfectly good piercing
Funny: I really want to know what toejam did about this problem
Note: If you need a good laugh, you really should check out this thread.

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: CommieTaoist revealed birdmanesq's setup for video lectures
Smart: MethySophocles made the exciting artwork that another Farker commissioned
Smart: Shostie shared the nice way Americans tell people that they're stupid
Funny: Beeblebrox showed that Gary's got nothin' on Chris Ween
Funny: ytterbium looked for proof that TotalFark doesn't have a lot of old people
Smart: Rev.K went over when it's appropriate to play devil's advocate
Smart: Moroning gave a reason to avoid buying a home in one type of neighborhood
Smart: Unikitty had advice for a married Farker who's constantly getting hit on by beautiful women
Smart: reagabeast shared some important information for those who think women always want them

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
OneFretAway gave the next line of a song

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie was impressed by what Donald Trump showed off
apocryphaandmyth found a whole new reason to appreciate face coverings
markie_farkie discovered how dangerous Tucker Carlson's hobby can be
JerseyTim commented on how bad it looks for liberals if Barack Obama took a malaria drug over a decade ago
gopher321 revealed the real reason Canada won't reopen the border they share with the United States

Politics Smart:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat expected Trump to choose a different amount of time for the U.S. flag to fly at half-mast to honor Rep. John Lewis
Clarence Brown recalled foreshadowing that a Republican administration would send federal agents to cities to round up dissidents
Straight Outta Wells Branch figured one particular state wins the Vince Lombardi Trophy of Fail
Ken S. revealed the real reason Trump finally wore a mask
scottydoesntknow gave more information about a creepy, violent fantasy that conspiracy believers are spreading


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba found out why Budweiser uses Clydesdales for their advertising
hail2daking showed that some men really do have a "type"
clovercat realized one simply time travels into Mordor
maxandgrinch found Randy Quaid making trouble at Starbucks
Sensei Can You See completely ruined my plans for next weekend
RedZoneTuba gave the United States a failing grade
RedZoneTuba showed us what a real Comet looks like if you zoom in on a photo of one
Alligator made a huge pomander ball with a really unfortunate design
hail2daking helped a film studio branch out with its classic logo
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a Bilbo fan who knows how to deal with an unruly Gollum

Caption:
From "Take a famous movie line and add 'due to the pandemic' to the end of it, due to the pandemic":

Megathuma didn't need any supernatural abilities
LouisZepher found that even computers are practicing social distancing
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat knew the safest place to be right now
There were a lot more great entries for this contest, so be sure to check them out. You can see the voting results here.

Fartist Friday: Illustrate what your pets would say if they could talk
This contest ended in a three-way between CrankyAndi's un-cranky kitten, Manic Depressive Mouse's cat in a disaster zone, and Snubnose's doggy uprising

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Compete in the Summer Farklympics by using a paint/draw program to show us what Fark-inspired event you'd medal in while representing Team Farkistan. Bonus: Include your Team Farkistan uniform

Farktography:
Kirablue42 won Farktography Contest No. 793: "Things" with the no-longer-missing link

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and although we couldn't establish just how hot it was outside, we did establish it was indeed hot. Luckily, the it's colder than the It's a Small World ride in mid-July in the 1000 club. On the Quiz itself, The Third Man took top honors with a ridiculous 1059, followed by uncledinAZ in second with 996 and Mztlplx in third with 928. Blackstone took fourth with 924, and senorbdub finishes out the top five with 923.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over those wacky French and their job titles. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that a newly created Cabinet position dealing with economic incentives for foreign investment was somehow translated as "Minister of Attractiveness." I'm pretty sure the first English speakers who heard it never bothered to correct them, as "Minister of Attractiveness" just seems like a normal French thing to have.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over last week's demolition of the Palace at Auburn Hills, which was the largest NBA venue in the country for decades. 84% of quiztakers knew that should you manage to battle your way through 1988-2017 Detroit, you could watch the Pistons play, and even get up close and personal with players such as the Indiana Pacers' Ron Artest. Interestingly, the Palace at Auburn Hills was one of only two NBA arenas from the era which never sold naming rights (the other was (is) Madison Square Garden).

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over a 1976 offer for a Beatles reunion, as told by Ringo Starr at his recent online birthday party. Only 18% of quiztakers knew that the group turned down an astonishing £50 million after they learned their opening act would be some guy wrestling an 18-ft. great white shark. It seems the group took W.C. Fields' advice and chose not to work with children or animals (even if Fields never took his own advice).

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over how the USDA classifies milk products such as heavy cream, light cream, and half-and-half. 99% of quiztakers knew that the only requirement to use these labels was to have a certain percentage of milkfat content. No word yet on heavy whipping almondcream or half-and-soyhalf. 

If you missed the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: A million views of Drew Twitching and Farking
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-15 12:06:07 PM (29 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Last week I happened to notice that the views on our Twitch channel went up over 1 million.  This was a surprise because I hadn't been watching the stats at all, I had no idea we'd even gone over 100,000.  For those who haven't checked it out, the main show is me telling my friend Dallan what happened today - what's important, what isn't, what's under the radar, and then we get into the weird stuff.  In particular, there's an emphasis on why a particular subject is in the news cycle right now.  At any rate, it's a lot of fun.  We're planning on streaming at 4 p.m. Eastern today, so drop by if you can.  And if you miss it, the video is saved to the channel as well.  On Fridays, we've been doing movie nights and playing Quiplash with the Fark community.  You'll also find some videos of Dallan playing Mercenaries 2, but that was mainly to push us up over 25 hours in a 30-day period.  However, we're considering perhaps doing a Friday evening where Dallan and I attempt to play a game we've never played before.  We're still experimenting, but so far so good!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FightDirector considered what would happen if women didn't go back to wearing bras when lockdown ends
gilgigamesh explained that it wasn't actually a "white power" sign that a cop flashed at a Proud Boy
Mantour described what happens if you refuse to wear a mask in a Canadian hospital
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat took a guess at the reason LaGuardia Airport's Terminal D was evacuated
Ivo Shandor asked a question about Arizona ordering refrigerated trucks to use when a morgue ran out of room
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed us what "moral outrage and bikinis" might look like
naughtyrev predicted a replacement for the brassiere
Bowen built a tribute to Fark
Doctor Funkenstein recognized a new technique that businesses are using to handle problems
Diogenes summed up what happens when you cough on Yuma Walmart employees who ask you to wear a mask

Smart:
gilgigamesh explained that it wasn't actually a "white power" sign that a cop flashed at a Proud Boy
SoupGuru adjusted a famous expression to fit our current struggles
Langdon_777 gave more information about an incident where a cop unnecessarily pointed a gun at a man's head
mrshowrules thought that one medical professional might not always be so professional
LordZorch forgot to mention using your sudden wealth to buy nice things for DisseminationMonkey
Chief Superintendent Lookout told us about running into a covidiot in the wild
Snaptastic met your dad last week (I'm just kidding, please don't be mad at me)
Prank Call of Cthulhu talked about how incredibly dangerous it is to wear a cloth mask
G. Tarrant pointed out that a woman who was kicked out of a hospital for refusing to wear a mask actually lucked out
HerptheDerp explained the "OK" hand gesture being taken over by white power douchebags

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Cafe Threads discovered that sometimes you can't count on your parents to help you save money
Funny: olapbill is not someone to forget a lover
Smart: make me some tea needs to make me this platter
Smart: Murflette explained the subtle difference between Russian blue and Prussian blue

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie did some serious multitasking
Mr.Tangent figured out why Joe Biden released 21 years of his tax returns
pkjun explained why the U.S. has such high numbers of daily deaths from COVID-19
Farking Clown Shoes looked at what a couple who defaced a Black Lives Matter mural managed to accomplish
adamgreeney reacted to news that the Ayn Rand Institute received money from the Paycheck Protection Program

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
farkingismybusiness had a bit of dark humor

Politics Smart:
Raymond Perjurytrap noticed someone had a strangely calibrated bullshiat detector
Private_Citizen figured that a grim prediction about the coronavirus is probably somewhat optimistic
A Cave Geek thought that Joe Biden will have a stack of work prepared for his first day if he wins the election
Megathuma looked at how some nurses who've helped fight the pandemic are being treated
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes helped explain what was happening with the case against Michael Flynn


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
fluffy_pope decided to narrow down who will be on the rebranded D.C. football team
Nothing To See Here wanted to honor a respected historical figure
opalakea chose a design based on a major influence in the D.C. area
Thrakkorzog knew what a real sharp dressed man looks like
RedZoneTuba doubled down on Washington
west.la.lawyer decided not to have any skin in the game
Thrakkorzog showed us how Skynet will be born
asstamassta really earned that screen name
Alligator appropriately went with a nautical theme
RedZoneTuba made this into a Hans-on art piece
Yammering_Splat_Vector tucked these hanging tents away in a shady spot

Fartist Friday: Create a portrait of summertime
FeuDePoubelle has a lovely garden

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show us what your pet would say if they could talk. Use any medium you like - art software, pen and paper, etc.  

Farktography:
Circusdog320 won Farktography Contest No. 793: "A Fire in the Sky" with an amazing shot of flaming hills and lightning

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although I didn't get any good tips on avoiding griefers in online gaming. On the Quiz itself, jayfurr gets solo possession of the 1000 club Zoom channel with a score of 1049, followed by runwiz in second with 914 and Skerry_Monkey in third with 913. bradley547 took fourth with a score of 912, and the_colonel finished fifth with a respectable 880.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about newscaster Hugh Downs and his extensive career as a broadcaster. Only 16% of quiztakers knew that the job he had never held was weatherman for WABC-TV in New York. In fact, he was never involved in weather forecasting throughout his career, and never worked at WABC (the vast majority of his career was with NBC until 20/20). He was indeed host of "Concentration" for over ten years beginning in 1958, and announced for "The Tonight Show" for the last five years of the Jack Parr era from 1957-1962.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over where a Louisiana man went for a swim in his very mature and humble quest for "TikTok fame." 83% of quiztakers knew that the man took a dip in the aquarium at the Bass Pro Shop in Bossier City. The irony, of course, was that the person who filmed his antics got far more views on their social media than he did on his TikTok. So maybe if you're going for TikTok fame, do something idiotic in private where no one else is filming. Or maybe, you know, just don't do idiotic stuff. 

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over Kanye West and his congratulatory message to his wife on her becoming a billionaire. While I can see why 55% of quiztakers would think that tweeting a pair of Yeezys would be completely on-brand with Kanye, in truth, nothing says Kanye more than something completely bizarre - like a couple of tomatoes and some random weird flowers, as only 45% of quiztakers knew.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the location of the famous Globe Theatre, built by Shakespeare's theatre troupe and where many of his plays debuted. Surprisingly, only 94% of quiztakers knew that London was a far more appropriate venue for plays written in (and inventing a small part of) the English language to premiere than 16th Century Paris. But then again, the best way to appreciate Shakespeare is in the original Klingon, so I can understand the confusion of the 6%.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Seems like the right time for the robot uprising 🤖
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-08 1:01:15 PM, edited 2020-07-08 1:07:33 PM (33 comments) | Permalink

There's no message from Drew in the Fark NotNewsletter this week because his laptop went off and joined the AI takeover. This also means there won't be a Fark News Update Livestream until he gets it back, which could be as soon as Friday. Hopefully it doesn't elope with his bot.

Remember: Computers don't need to become self aware in order to decide to take over control of the world, they only need to become aware of us.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
OK So Amuse Me explained why a woman's explanation for her Trader Joe's freakout seemed legit
Dork Gently expressed shock when police repressed the rights of a group of musicians to hold a vigil for a man who was killed by police
gopher321 offered a free service for your parking lot or car park
Naido found a group that would've appreciated the pizza design that got two Little Caesars employees fired
grokca showed the woman who scared a man so much that he followed her for two miles
Demetrius was surprised to see who Christina Ricci's estranged husband is
oldernell figured out why police broke up a vigil with musicians playing violins
maxandgrinch revealed the spouse of a woman who threw a mask tantrum at Trader Joe's
Boo_Guy asked Parthenogenetic a technical question about probiotics
blatz514 was very confused by what Queef Wellington wanted to happen

Smart:
brap discovered an unexpected benefit to wearing a cloth mask
iheartscotch pointed out that there's merit to a suggestion for how Black Lives Matter protesters can be safe from police interference
HawgWild gave a spelling lesson that's valid - at least for now
thecactusman17 had information that might be useful if you're ever feeling shooty in Oklahoma
Rapmaster2000 explained why some people even get angry about other people wearing masks and being cautious
CruiserTwelve noticed a positive sign after cops were photographed reenacting a chokehold that killed a man near his memorial
ecmoRandomNumbers had a theory about what started the downfall of the English language
Cache made a prediction of what's to come in the fight against police brutality
Uranus Megahertz shared a possible farewell message from an entertainment icon
Znuh gave an update on the hellish journey through COVID-19 - see this thread from May for the beginning of Znuh's story and some advice in case you end up needing it

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Louisiana_Sitar_Club faced major problems after installing solar panels
Smart: generalDisdain learned an unfortunate lesson
Smart: croesius wanted to see a reward for people in an important profession
Funny: Roman Fyseek shared a story about boats and a blind date
Funny: CommieTaoist learned to do all thinking above the waistline
Smart: Beeblebrox suggested a way of handling the situation if your neighbor gets paint drops all over your house

Politics Funny:
bambi121899 made an observation when Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend tested positive for the coronavirus
Diogenes compared raising boys to raising girls
HugeMistake was confused by President Trump's harsh treatment of Russia
Cubansaltyballs recognized where Arizonans got the idea to have gyms with liquor licenses
TDWCom29 knew what will happen now that Ghislaine Maxwell has been arrested

Bonus:
A thread asked Farkers to "describe the Trump Presidency as a GIF." It's basically impossible to tell which GIFs are used in an original way here and which ones have been used for mocking Trump before, and the thread has much hilarity anyway, so here are the voting results. Enjoy! 

Politics Smart:
HugeMistake was confused by President Trump's harsh treatment of Russia
shopball had a suggestion for when airplane passengers won't wear their face coverings properly over their noses and mouths
bdub77 appreciated the argument Mary Trump's lawyer used to challenge the NDA she signed
null pointed out an example the Trump administration should have learned from
Ambivalence looked at how Trump is outsmarting America's enemies


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us some people to avoid
RedZoneTuba revealed the price of idiocy
Yammering_Splat_Vector broke a big story out of the White House
clovercat showed what's hopefully not at the other end of the waterslides
Alligator came up with an exciting way to repurpose NASA's X-38
hail2daking gave this pup a riding companion
RedZoneTuba made a more representative flag for Mississippi
clovercat figured a proper space toilet already exists, just needs the NASA seal of approval
RedZoneTuba Phoebeed in the pool
asstamassta found out how Batman ruined the fireworks show

Fartist Friday: Write an original Haiku about the view from your window
This ended in a tie between bucket_pup's flexible sunbather (with helpful photo) and Cafe Threadshowl at the moon

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Summertime: Create a portrait of summertime using any medium - pen and paper, Photoshop, sculpture, MS Paint, etc.

Farktography:
threnodyj won Farktography Contest No. 791: "Breakdown" with rusty old worker in a retirement home

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although no one made the 1000 club. Tracianne came out on top with 989, followed by bud jones in second with 921 and Oliver Twisted in third with 916. SoundOfOneHandWanking made fourth with 912, and Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs finishes out the top five with 909.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over which President signed the first GI Bill (officially, the Serviceman's Readjustment Act) which offered low-cost mortgages, tuition and living expenses for higher education, and up to a year of unemployment benefits to returning soldiers. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that this was signed way back in 1944 by Franklin D. Roosevelt, who saw it as an expansion of his New Deal, although in truth it was a compromise - FDR wanted more focus on all poor people, not just veterans.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which burger chain native Texan and NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes was likely to see in his new home of Kansas City in the near future. 72% of quiztakers knew that Whataburger, based in San Antonio, is King of Texas burgers for anyone from the state. FWIWI, Krystal is based in Dunwoody, GA, and Popeye's is of course Louisiana Chicken but for some reason based in Miami, FL.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over a £12,500 auction win of a 1935 letter addressed to one "Buffkins", written and illustrated by artist E H Shepard. Only 37% of quiztakers caught the story and knew that it was Xi Jinping, er...Winnie the Pooh who sent his regrets of being unable to attend young Buffkins' birthday party. Paddington Bear was not introduced to the world until 1958.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was also an auction question, this time about a 1959 Martin D-18E guitar that just went for $6 million. 86% of quiztakers knew that it was Kurt Cobain's guitar he used for the 1993 "Unplugged in New York" performance. Interestingly, this was the exact guitar he was holding when he lamented that he could not afford the $500,000 that the estate of famed blues guitarist Ledbelly was asking for his guitar, and that David Geffen wouldn't buy it for him.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: The results from Adblockblockingpalooza
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-01 2:50:30 PM (48 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.  Been slammed here, but it's not all bad.

An update: Two weeks ago, we ran a 24-hour test where we blocked adblock to see what impact it was having on our revenue, since Fark's adblock rate is well over 50% of our overall traffic.  We wanted to compare that test to the same time period a week later to see if folks would turn adblock off and leave it off for Fark. One week later, that's what the data indicates.  Ad revenues are nearly identical during the block test and the same period the week following.  Plus we picked up a bunch of BareFark subscribers during the test, which was awesome because we'd prefer everyone have BareFark than display ads.  So tl;dr, 1) the test was a success and 2) we don't have any plans to block ad blockers in the near future.

However, one interesting result of the test period was we discovered that there is some entirely valid confusion as to why TotalFark doesn't include ad-blocking.  There's a long story behind that, the short conclusion of which is: the confusion is totally understandable.  The flagship subscription -should- include a no-ads experience.  I've got some ideas about what could be done there - and if you'd like to get in on that conversation, I'll be discussing it on TotalFark probably Friday.  By the way, one of the benefits of TotalFark is that we discuss long-term changes with TotalFarkers while we're still in the brainstorming phase.  So if you'd like to have input, come join us.

The Fark News Update Livestream continues this week - today at 4 p.m. Eastern, tomorrow sometime, and we haven't decided on Friday, but since we did games last week, we should probably look at movie night again.  Open to suggestions there.  Come join us at our Twitch channel at 4 p.m.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
TheHighlandHowler was in a toxic film with Ron Jeremy
NeoCortex42 reacted to news of The Hedgehog's alleged crimes
Doctor Funkenstein described a disturbing scene (I'm not kidding)
Uzzah felt pretty smug about Samsung Blu-ray players malfunctioning
rudemix defended the suspicious rope found hanging in Bubba Wallace's garage at at Talladega Superspeedway
Tr0mBoNe ran into a problem when Samsung Blu-ray players suddenly stopped working
FormlessOne explained why one of the cops charged in George Floyd's death wasn't wearing a mask while shopping
Cythraul comforted Doctor Funkenstein
Tr0mBoNe showed that even Jesus has a wandering eye
TorpedoOrca revealed a little-known fact about Nova Scotia

Smart:
felching pen had an idea for special packs of Skittles
leviosaurus pointed out that one of the cops involved in George Floyd's murder did yet another stupid thing
CarnySaur noticed another thing for a person who throws a fit over masks at Starbucks to get angry over
SumoJeb noted that a woman who accused an innocent family of stealing her car had things that didn't seem to belong to her
lindalouwho shared reason to believe that most people can manage to breathe with a cloth mask just fine
FormlessOne explained why one of the cops charged in George Floyd's death wasn't wearing a mask while shopping
hobnail took a close look at the noose found at Talladega Superspeedway
WalkingSedgwick must've posted this using a rental or a friend's computer or something
Winterlight came up with an idea for a sadly useful device
gameshowhost explained, in a Gen-X way, why Gen-Z doesn't seem to be too worried about giving the virus to baby boomers

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer vacation
Smart & Funny: GRCooper learned that sometimes a trucker's honk isn't just because kids in another vehicle requested it

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Beeblebrox gave an opinion on a TotalFarker's imaginary tattoo quandary
Smart: ytterbium had some insight about couples with different levels of education
Funny: Beeblebrox asked a question about an ex breaking health guidelines by taking a child into Best Buy
Funny: Shakespeare's Monkey's mom is about to be invited to a bunch of concerts
Smart: TheSteelCricket revealed the truth about online IQ tests
Smart: rebelyell2006 suggested a fun new way to celebrate the Fourth of July
Funny: Dance Party told a TotalFarker how to mount a large TV by yourself

Politics Funny:
Ken S. pointed out that President Trump really has done a lot to help Maine's fishing industry
Marcus Aurelius knew who's to blame for Trump's attempts to stoke racism
RodneyToady completed a sentence with a familiar cadence
iago mentioned someone who managed to pull off what Trump couldn't
common sense is an oxymoron knew why there weren't more people at Trump's rally

Politics Smart:
Jack Sabbath compared the Chicago murders that "horrified" Trump to potential murders that didn't seem to trouble him
GardenWeasel argued that Trump actually did something about intelligence indicating Putin put a bounty on members of U.S. military
markie_farkie saw in hindsight a hint that Trump ignored information about Russia posing a threat to Americans
kazrak had a suggestion to encourage police departments to ban chokeholds
Butterflew considered what it would take for some Trump fans to turn on him


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a new aunt to get pancake syrup from
DarkJohnson somehow created a breakfast mascot that's even more controversial
Thrakkorzog figured that nobody should be this happy
Godscrack put the instructions in the name of the product
Yammering_Splat_Vector was a little late with this gift
Yammering_Splat_Vector made an ad for the Sackler family business
Iggie found a new market for vape pens
RedZoneTuba showed that there's still a need for this classic disinfectant
Iggie gave this red panda the ultimate gift
RedZoneTuba gave us a glimpse of mating season

Fartist Friday:MS Paint your fantasy job
jbtilley is all out of bubble gum

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Window View Haiku -  write an original Haiku about the view from your window

Farktography:
Badafuco won Farktography Contest No. 790: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips 3" with a beautiful striped and speckled rose

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although thanks to a screwup on my part, several dozen quiztakers got all 14 questions instead of the usual 11 and this threw off the whole rankings. Still, I'm going to give the top 10 a shout-out here:

The Third Man - 1228
Recoil Therapy - 1093
Mztlplx - 1067
zerkalo - 1028
mybluemake - 1000
bud jones - 1000
TheMothership - 991
mfgordon - 965
bababa - 963
leftofcool -948

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over the ingredients of SPAM. Since Nigerian princes and male enhancement weren't choices, we were stuck looking on the label. Only 31% of quiztakers knew that the secret ingredient was sugar - a trick also utilized by many restaurants in their kids meals, because, well, sugar tastes good. It also does help with the caramelization when you're frying it up. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which company announced they were no longer going to make "commemorative" police batons. 83% of quiztakers knew that for some reason, Louisville Slugger, famed manufacturer of baseball bats, has been quietly making these truncheons designed to commemorate police officers and their act of whacking people with wooden sticks for the past "15 to 20 years" (no one at the company seemed to know). I mean, good on them for stopping production, but talk about bad taste...

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over why Ford decided to change the date of its new reveal of the upcoming redesigned Ford Bronco from their initial choice of July 9. It seems 46% of quiztakers will be owing Mr. Orenthal James Simpson a birthday card, since you knew that this was his special day. Also, any tips on the Real Killer should be sent c/o any metro Las Vegas golf courses.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which sitcom cast was reuniting for a special promo show for NBC's Peacock streaming service. 77% of quiztakers knew that it was "30 Rock" that was getting the band back together. "Scrubs" was picked up by ABC for its eighth and final season which would have made things weird if they did a promo for rival NBC. (I do not acknowledge that show they called "Season Nine of Scrubs" as existing). 

Congratulations to the winners, and if you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up right here.

This week's Quiz is up, so go test your Weird News knowledge!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Livestream Taste Test
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-06-24 1:05:51 PM (61 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Last week we ran a 24-hour test of blocking ad blockers, and I had hoped to have the results for you today.  However, we need to compare last week to the same time period this week due to incredibly boring but relevant reasons, and that doesn't end until later today, so I'll have that for you next week.

Meanwhile, one thing the test did reveal is that there is confusion as to why TotalFark doesn't include the BareFark no-ads experience.  The tl;dr reason for this is a bunch of incremental changes over the past 20 years, but folks have a point - it doesn't make any sense.  I've got some thoughts on where we go from here that I'll be sharing with the TotalFark community probably next week-ish.  By the way, one of the benefits of TotalFark is getting to hear about upcoming changes in advance and weigh in on them.  TotalFark is our focus group, we run policy changes, redesigns, and so on by the TotalFark community to get input.  Join TotalFark and lend us your input.

At 3 p.m. Eastern today, we're running the Fark News Summary Livestream - find out what's important and what's been overlooked in the news today.  Today's stream includes a meta-rundown of how to parse otherwise incomprehensible mainstream media articles about crime - specifically an incident that happened in Milwaukee yesterday.  We're also trying a new Lightning Round feature today for articles that don't have a lot of nuance to them but are still of interest.  So join us at 3 p.m. if you can.

A quick note - this week we're trying to debug something on the Twitch Livestream embed.  For some reason it autoplays audio sometimes even though we've told it not to.  We've got a fix, but we're running tests on a smaller percentage of browsers to try to nail down what the culprit is.  If you get autoplay audio, drop us a Farkback and let us know.  If the test works, no one will get autoplay audio.  So we'll see how it goes.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
duppy knew the truth behind an article claiming women show less interest in men who hold cats in their dating profile photos
derpes_simplex described the problem with exercise ropes a man hung from trees in a public park
styckx noticed a Twitter user's false advertising
Pocket Ninja was ready to start producing some reality shows
Doctor Funkenstein reacted to news that Aunt Jemima products will be rebranded and renamed
Naido explained always suspecting white females when a crime is committed
common sense is an oxymoron had a concern about a well-known Scientologist who was charged with three counts of rape
LordOfThePings found another movie that, due to modern sensitivities, should have a warning label
ababyatemydingo could kind of understand why someone would burn down a Wendy's
Mad Scientist discovered that there's someone who's feeling pretty smug right about now

Smart:
King Something straightened out a rumor about a fast food CEO
karl2025 considered the clues to an old mystery
lennavan made a particularly apt comparison considering what was being protested
August11 described how inappropriate and offensive some professors can be if they've had no experience outside of classrooms
capn' fun shared how COVID-19 has affected an ICU as well as an otherwise healthy young woman who works there
Pocket Ninja marveled at a man's dual dualities
McJaemes had personal experience with being retaliated against for trying to put a stop to racism at work
Sachlpch described what it's been like working in retail during the pandemic
Bennie Crabtree had a theory about why the name of a cop who kept washing away children's BLM messages wasn't revealed

Check out Fark's annual Father's Day thread:What would you say to your dad today if you could?

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: a particular individual had a name for the Proud Boys to use for their new dating app
Funny: meg12279 came up with an interesting way of thinking about people
Funny: Por que tan serioso complained that birdmanesq debased an oral discussion
Funny: IvyLady called Beeblebrox a name, but Beeblebrox liked it
Funny meg12279 shared the right way to say goodnight to your date
Funny: farkingismybusiness questioned a TotalFarker whose daughter might be allergic to sage
Smart: Flab showed how wonderfully things can turn out

Politics Funny:
King Something showed that some guys can do it with one hand
jbc explained why Matt Gaetz would have adopted a teenager - (In case you don't get that, it's a reference to a story His Mexcellency shared last year)
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated how Donald Trump could've done a worse job
gunga galunga felt the magnitude of such a feat
NewportBarGuy showed how one senator felt about John Bolton's claim that Trump asked Xi Jinping to help him get reelected

Politics Smart:
Type_Hard figured that Rep. Mo Brooks would be willing to apply his reasoning to all types of discrimination
markie_farkie argued that evidence shows that Brad Parscale lied about protesters blocking supporters from getting into Trump's rally
Boondock3806 recounted a conversation about battling systemic racism
Pocket Ninja discussed the two types of conservatives on the Supreme Court
FrabjousDay pointed out that "free" can turn out to be very expensive


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector decided this vehicle is better as a sedan
hail2daking brought out this figure's noble spirit
verchad made a statue more aerodynamic
Thrakkorzog figured out how Chris lost his head
Large Marge sent me showed us how you make sure nobody else catches the foul balls
Driver proved that we're living in The Far Side
RedZoneTuba fixed this statue so it's better than new
Bumcheese went where no Farker has gone before
Large Marge sent me replaced some famous shells
Thrakkorzog gave RedZoneTuba a major award

Captions:
From Caption this mammal meeting:

Driver misread the instructions
clovercat apparently made the same mistake
As did Thrakkorzog and Snubnose
From Caption these wee turtles:
Devolving_Spud gave a clue about which state these turtles are turtling in
kdawg7736 knew what these little guys were heading out to do
Grumpy Cat showed that some band names are actually quite literal

Fartist Friday: Show us a work of art you've made and tell us the story behind it
Holy cr*p, there are so many talented Farkers! I'm not really surprised, though, because we have an awesome community. Thunderboy won this week's contest with a gorgeous scrappy homemade electric bass (the string instrument, not the other kind of musical electric bass). Be sure to check out the rest of the contest for a variety of really cool works of art and the stories behind them. 

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Use MS Paint (or similar) to draw your fantasy job and let us guess what it is

About Fartist Friday:
Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays and will show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 789: "Purple 3" ended in a tie between beerrun's purple-topped musician and Ldrtchbrd's lavender lily

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the quiz, but I still don't think anyone is interested in my fried coleslaw recipe. Recoil Therapy took top honors with a score of 1007 and will be sharing the Virtual 1000 Club with edmo, who came in second with 1004. Denjiro made third with 975, Glockenspiel Hero took fourth with 942, and rick42 finishes out the top five with 940.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over a, well, "cheeky" billboard on the side of a semi-trailer that was seen cruising the QE II Highway in Alberta last week, featuring a half-exposed butt. Only 24% of quiztakers knew that those wacky Canadians thought an exposed bum was a great way of promoting a gardening centre at a department store chain, oddly enough called "Canadian Tire." 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over King Leopold II, one of the most brutal kings of the past hundred years who took over the area now known as The Congo, enslaved the residents, and declared the land and the people to be his personal property outside his government functions. 73% of quiztakers knew he was the king of Belgium, a country that really doesn't want statues honoring him around anymore. I mean, I'd rather be known for waffles than a racist genocidal maniac, too.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the facial recognition technology known as "Rekognition," which totally doesn't sound like something from a '90s sci-fi movie directed by Paul Veerhoven at all. Only 39% of quiztakers knew this technology actually came from Amazon, which seems to be a puzzling thing for a retailer that advertises shopping in your underwear to be involved in. I mean, at least it's *facial* recognition, right?

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over drummer Frank Beard and his 51-year career. 91% of quiztakers knew that one of the most ironic things in  music was a guy named "Beard" in ZZ Top, a band famous for giant beards who happens to be clean-shaven. He's been quoted as saying about the matter "Why compete if you can't win?" I'm not sure that's advice I can always follow, but hey, it works for him.

Congratulations to the winners. If you missed out on last week's quiz, you can catch up here.
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