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Fark NotNewsletter: Because you love change, we're making changes to Fark subscriptions
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-08-05 4:04:16 PM (182 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hello Farkers:

A bit of business news: Fark is reorganizing our subscription membership tiers. In part this is due to feedback we received during our recent tests.

The cost of doing business has gone up since we first launched subscriptions in early 2002 and we're bringing our membership fees in line with 2020, as well as streamlining BareFark and TotalFark features.

Membership Tiers

We've heard you! All paying members now get the ad-free experience.

TotalFark - Effective immediately, TotalFark includes the BareFark ad-free experience.  You also get live access to all content, all submitted links, and the entire Fark community.

Additional features include the ability to influence editorial decisions on links via voting, access to TotalFark discussions away from the prying eyes of social media and search engines, full access to two decades of archived nonsense, and first looks at upcoming Fark features, such as the much-requested swear jar allowing TotalFarkers both the ability and the discretion to drop an occasional F-bomb.

BareFark - Ad-free access to Fark's basic content and the public areas of the Fark community with an ad-free experience. Get the basics and never see another weird t-shirt ad again!

Farker - Ad-supported access to Fark's basic content and the public areas of the Fark community.

New pricing takes effect August 19, two weeks from today:

$100 for the year for the TotalFark Membership. This includes a bonus Farks2Give, worth one month of TotalFark. Use it on yourself or give it to someone else. There will also be an option to pay monthly at $10 per month.

$50 for the year for BareFark Membership.  There will also be an option to pay monthly at $5 per month.

The yearly memberships work out to $8.33 and $4.16 per month, respectively.

What else?

$10 for one Farks2Give.  Existing Farks2Give will be treated like Forever Stamps and will be worth 1 month of TotalFark regardless of what price was paid for them

Current pricing remains in effect until Aug 19th, so if you're looking for a reason to sign up for TotalFark or BareFark, this is it. Current memberships will continue as is until renewed.

Also since BareFark is now included in TotalFark, we'll be issuing a blanket unsubscribe for BareFark for folks who have both subscriptions. If we miss anyone, contact us via FarkBack and let us know.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
EvilEgg's mom does not accept returns
WGJ got excited and showed a nipple
HeathenHealer noted problems when a man was arrested for taunting cops with a doughnut
rattchett had a special message for Ryan Reynolds
Bootleg worried about a wing walker who replaced a plane's missing tire mid-flight
WordsnCollision knew where the idea for the rolling machine workout came from
thealgorerhythm revealed who tricked people with damaged mushrooms into thinking masks are dangerous
I Ate Shergar sang about some of the 50 ways to get COVID-19
Nadie_AZ gave a warning about a video of Charlize Theron taking it all off
PainInTheASP reacted to mask advice from Cary Elwes

Smart:
luna1580 considered people claiming mental illness after being caught behaving badly
Dead for Tax Reasons made an important point about wearing masks that many people seem to be overlooking
Xai discussed walking on eggshells around cops to avoid problems
eagles95 shared a story about running into an angry anti-masker in the wild
Dead for Tax Reasons explained to Florida why it pays to choose your battles wisely
Therion told us what it was like to work with Cary Elwes
Louisiana_Sitar_Club showed how innovative a new exercise machine is
maddan predicted a horrific accident with an exercise machine
RoyFokker'sGhost discussed the differences between Marvel and DC movies
JesseL revealed the secret recipe for success

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer jobs
Smart: CordycepsInYourBrain discovered that sometimes we're too hard on ourselves
Funny: GRCooper's friend figured out how to get GRCooper to do all the driving

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: meg12279 discovered that Mom has been known to party
Funny: sarahthustra thought a lawyer might have a vested interest in advising against reporting an ex's LEGO counterfeiting
Smart: merrillvillain has an unusual fetish
Funny: Brawndo made a cover for meg12279's autobiography
Smart: Murflette knew what a Farker should do with an inherited house

Politics Funny:
40 degree day noted that Herman Cain got to do something important to him before he died
thealgorerhythm was shocked to discover something about Alan Dershowitz
winedrinkingman wanted to know exactly what Herman Cain's death means for the Republican Party
Mike_LowELL enjoyed a snack break
RodneyToady used a Fark headline to remember some important words
GreatGlavinsGhost noticed something inappropriate in blastoh's comment

Politics Smart:
Benevolent Misanthrope thought about the attention Dr. Stella Immanuel is getting
bloobeary shared expectations for the upcoming U.S. presidential election
King Something mostly got it right when taking a guess on a Trump backtrack
weddingsinger had faint praise for Antonio Sabato Jr.
Badmoodman reassured Erick Erickson that Republicans would never do the terrible thing Obama did

Note: Farkers had a lot to say about Herman Cain's death, mainly having to do with the unfortunate politicization of COVID-19 and attempts to mitigate its spread, and the fact that Cain died after making a show of being careless about protecting himself and others from the virus.


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
hail2daking found the Beatles' forgotten album
hail2daking showed us a long-awaited Meat Loaf follow-up album
Thrakkorzog made an antisocial Zoom background for teachers to use
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered this girl can magically make a songbird disappear
Driver's Zoom background is technically safe for work, but you might want to be careful
Nothing To See Here found out pyro kids can come in handy
RedZoneTuba's school bus had a surreal side mirror
Thrakkorzog showed that this rodent band should get gentler roadies
kabloink made a Milton trap
Pfighting Polish found the perfect entertainment for the Catalina Wine Mixer

Fartist Friday: Show and tell, volume 2
JustToLetYouKnowFriend built a chest suitable for dungeons and/or dragons

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Use a Photoshop or paint/draw program to upgrade a classical work of art by adding a beer

Farktography:
Earguy loaded up on carbs to win Farktography Contest No. 795: "I Swear I Seed It"

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time with the Quiz this week, and it seems I'm not the only one who gave up on Battletoads back in the NES day. On the Quiz itself, four folks get tickets to our socially distant 1000 outdoor club area. Evildog takes top honors with 1019, followed by Booklet juuuust behind in second with 1018. Auntie Cheesus takes third with 1009, edmo in fourth with 1004, and bobobolinskii finishes out the top five with 956.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about what led a Yorktown, NY man to fire his .22 rifle in his hallway in such a manner that the bullets wound up in his neighbor's bathroom while she was showering. Only 26% of quiztakers knew that he had decided he had a need for some target practice. No word on his skills relating to the actual targets he was shooting at, but I'm guessing he probably didn't receive the best firearm instruction available so the beer cans likely went to the recycler whole.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over who'll be fighting an exhibition match with boxing great Roy Jones Jr. 71% of quiztakers knew that the 51-year-old would be fighting 54-year-old Mike Tyson in a match I'll be happy to make fun of, but not where either of those guys can hear. For comparison, Sylvester Stallone filmed Rocky Balboa in late 2005 through 2006 when he was 59 years old, portraying a character of about that same age.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new scholarship being offered by the humanist group The Satanic Temple. Only 55% of quiztakers knew that applicants were being asked to write an essay about their worst teacher to be considered for the Devil's Advocate scholarship. I think the ultimate irony would be awarding the scholarship to someone attending Liberty University, as I believe not a single person in either organization is gonna want to handle that paperwork.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over how NBC's Today anchor Savannah Guthrie was injured last fall, resulting in her having cataract surgery last week. 92% knew that it was from a toy train owned by her son. Having babysat for my nephew for a while, I can tell you that you should never trust Thomas the Tank Engine. Take a lesson from Sir Topham Hatt and keep that one in Tidmouth Sheds where he can do less damage.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on it here. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Remember what the hot debate topic was 5 months ago?
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-29 2:41:47 PM, edited 2020-07-29 2:51:56 PM (41 comments) | Permalink

It was whether or not it's acceptable to recline your seat on an airplane. Seriously, that topic went on for weeks, with new videos of fisticuffs-filled flights, unwelcome opinions, and endless debates on all forms of media. I remember very well when focus in the U.S. suddenly dropped that topic like a hot potato and shifted to the new virus we'd been hearing about because it felt really weird when I was writing the NotNewsletter and so much of the previous week's discussion was about who should get to be slightly more comfortable on an airplane. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey
________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone - couple of quick notes.

Last week's discussion about TotalFark features and changes etc went great.  Let's do another one tomorrow (Thursday) at 2 p.m. -  I've got a compiled list of all the suggestions and I'll list out which ones are interesting, doable, both, and so on.  

The Fark News Livestream airs again today at 3 p.m.  It won't be as thick as yesterday, but it should still be fun and interesting.  It's going to be strangely Florida-centric today. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
gilgigamesh felt sympathy for a woman who made a scene in a grocery store
Cyberluddite explained how sneezes and coughs are different from farts
mofa pointed out something missing from a list of things restaurants supposedly will never have again
gopher321 yearned for stimulating debate
ThomasPaineTrain knew about top secret personal protective equipment we all need
Devolving_Spud told us an idea for women whose bosses tell them to wear makeup for Zoom meetings
Pocket Ninja guessed at why Chick-Fil-A has had way more COVID-19 outbreaks than any other fast food restaurant in Colorado
NewportBarGuy agreed with a man who refused to follow store policy
JTtheCajun found the fun in the deslidifier putting the wrong photos with the descriptions
scottydoesntknow considered the question of wearing makeup for Zoom meetings

Smart:
HighlanderRPI addressed a popular misconception regarding frivolous lawsuits
markie_farkie gave examples of people not wearing their masks properly
Cyberluddite explained how sneezes and coughs are different from farts
styckx recognized one of those guys you definitely don't want to be
gilgigamesh discussed doing what you enjoy
Pocket Ninja found a positive side to having to wear face coverings to decrease the spread of the virus
Devolving_Spud told us an idea for women whose bosses tell them to wear makeup for Zoom meetings
Hevach argued that ducks smell smoky
feckingmorons answered the question, "Who knew that Navy ships were so flammable?"
Mr. Coffee Nerves had a solution for people who refuse to wear masks on airplanes

CSB Sunday Morning: Pandemic stories
Smart:
runbuh sadly couldn't be there when a loved one died
Funny: FriarReb98 scared a skittish hiker

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: merrillvillain was excited about who might've returned to TotalFark Discussion
Funny: Unikitty should not be allowed to be around dogs
Smart: CommieTaoist ate a ghost pepper for the internet and a good cause
Smart: generalDisdain had reason to doubt a TotalFarker's supposed dating dilemma
Smart: Unikitty straightened out some potato-based breakfast food confusion
Smart: Eclectic explained how it feels to be a transgender person
Funny: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat found a way to benefit from ytterbium's bartering scheme

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Smart:
weddingsinger literally did the math on farts versus COVID-19

Politics Funny:
kbronsito explained why Mitch McConnell's pants looked rather short
ralphjr showed what the Donald Trump campaign might use as an attack ad
BeesNuts made this tear gas deflector for you and me
hobnail had a classic reply to the United States running low on change
markie_farkie found the strange cause that wademh was hoping Sarah Cooper would raise money for

Politics Smart:
NewportBarGuy pointed out one of the most important things the U.S. Postal Service does
KungFuJunkie figured that what looks like a fark-up might be intentional
GardenWeasel described the feeling when the "Wall of Moms" showed up to protest
Ker_Thwap reflected on what a proud man Trump is
Alphax made a prediction about the number of people protesting


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Driver designed the gilded armor of a warrior
opalakea updated Fark's error page photo of Mike
Mojongo took extra care to make sure this tunnel won't collapse
opalakea revealed just how similar dogs can be to their owners
asstamassta made this accidental frankenfish look even more unnatural
Bumcheese showed how Darth Vader ensured he could still be a Jedi Knight
Thrakkorzog discovered that Queen Elizabeth enjoys role-play
Circusdog320 made a mask that might get major Trump fans on board with wearing them
Thrakkorzog reminded us that there are plenty of fish in the sea
hail2daking showed what it's like when the flipper's on the other foot

Fartist Friday: Show us the a Fark-inspired event you'd medal in for the Farklympics
thatguyoverthere70 excelled at the uneven bars

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show & Tell, Volume 2. Show us a work of art you've made and tell us the story behind it (entries from previous Fartist threads not eligible)

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 794: "Monumental 2" ended in a tie with MightyMerkin's Milky Way over Stonehenge World War I Memorial and Unobtanium's wall and hanging obelisks of the National Memorial for Peace and Justice

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Beyond Fark - written by quantum_jellyroll's friend sherpa18

Long time Farker quantum_jellyroll has crossed the Rainbow Bridge. He was a regular on the Caturday threads, a Photoshopper extraordinaire and bane of people on the politics tab.

Rick was a sweet, kind, generous guy. He was always ready to answer questions on photography, Photoshop, computers, anything he knew about. Most of all, he loved to make people laugh, and the world will be a sadder place without him in it.

May he rest in peace.

You can read quantum_jellyroll's memorial thread (which, fittingly, is also a Caturday thread) here


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, although the 1000 outdoor-masked-properly-socially-dista​nt-club will be empty this week. Which is kinda a good thing, as we just installed a skeet shooting range and the skeets are just really cute and we probably shouldn't shoot them. On the Quiz itself, Data came in first with 983, followed by White Chocolate Morpheus in second with 965 and The Third Man appropriately in third with 934. WoolyManwich made fourth with 921, and zerkalo took fifth with 920.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about their wacky Brits and their booze, namely the classic "Buckfast" originally made by monks in the UK and now popular amongst young people who already have more than one ASBO. As only 29% of quiztakers knew, it's wine fortified with caffeine and even more booze, so it's kinda the 29th century equivalent of FourLoko. Those monks really do know how to throw down.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over the Yakuza and their recent annual tradition of handing out sweets and small gifts to youngsters in their areas. 81% of quiztakers knew that the Japanese cri-... er, legitimate businessmen sometimes illegitimately accused of outlandish behavior targeting others have been attempting to rehabilitate their image with the general population, starting with trying to bring the Western holiday of Halloween to their local areas, with they themselves supplying the treats to youngsters who visit their offices dressed in costume. Which I guess balances out because they also allegedly supply the tricks as well.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over Alex Trebek's favorite animal. Only 39% of quiztakers knew that the long-time "Jeopardy!" host was a huge fan of the Canadian muskox, which he said he likes because of its affinity for family and social groups. Which I guess is understandable, as they usually smell so bad other critters don't want to be around them. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the new officially licensed "Central Perk" sign available from many outlets online. 85% of quiztakers knew that this was the coffee shop made famous by the show "Friends," where somehow the characters always had the prime couch available no matter how busy the shop might be. The "Seinfeld" crowd generally had the same seat at Monk's Cafe, but it was never shown as too crowded for them to have realistically found a table. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Things are weird and getting weirderer
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-22 1:07:08 PM (57 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week has been well. 

Just a quick update today - At 2 p.m. ET this afternoon I'll be hosting a discussion on TotalFark about brainstorming some possible changes to Fark subscriptions.  Keep an eye out for that one, I'd love some input.  

At 3 p.m. ET today we'll be livestreaming the Fark News Summary. Yesterday was a banner day for weird and the past 24 hours seem to be keeping pace. Weird thieves are out in force apparently, among other things. 
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
JerseyTim explained to Dinki why part of the USS Bonhomme Richard melted
Bootleg had a few questions about a woman's medical reasons for not wearing a face mask
syrynxx is also due some compensation related to Starbucks turning away people who aren't wearing masks
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat had a message for Burger King after their farts tweet
AdmirableSnackbar sang a song for Burger King
Prof. Frink explained the science between different kinds of fuel
thatguyoverthere70 gave a compelling reason to stay downwind
eagles95 is creative about dealing with unwanted political emails from relatives
Diogenes was inspired by a restaurant's name to use a classic joke format
SpectroBoy did the math and figured out how the attack on the World Trade Center was carried out

Smart:
moike shared stories about working with Grant Imahara for a couple of episodes of "Mythbusters"
xanthippe told us about a friend who was afraid she'd inherited a high risk of developing a brain aneurysm
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha revealed this one weird trick for people who complain their masks give them acne
TwowheelinTim's daughter helped Disney by making an ad for them
PenguinTheRed addressed worries that the virus could spread through air conditioning systems
Real Women Drink Akvavit had a talk with Mom about plans to spend her 70th birthday at Disneyland
Rapmaster2000 was a bit worried about a deal at Burger King
NotCodger looked on the bright side of a mask-hater's tirade outside a Walmart
stoli n coke knew what you should do if you're told to cover up your "Black Panther" shirt because a customer claims it's racist
lack of warmth had a personal connection to a U.S. Navy ship that was on fire

CSB Sunday Morning: What's the dumbest way you've hurt yourself?
Smart: USAF Retired ruined a perfectly good piercing
Funny: I really want to know what toejam did about this problem
Note: If you need a good laugh, you really should check out this thread.

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: CommieTaoist revealed birdmanesq's setup for video lectures
Smart: MethySophocles made the exciting artwork that another Farker commissioned
Smart: Shostie shared the nice way Americans tell people that they're stupid
Funny: Beeblebrox showed that Gary's got nothin' on Chris Ween
Funny: ytterbium looked for proof that TotalFark doesn't have a lot of old people
Smart: Rev.K went over when it's appropriate to play devil's advocate
Smart: Moroning gave a reason to avoid buying a home in one type of neighborhood
Smart: Unikitty had advice for a married Farker who's constantly getting hit on by beautiful women
Smart: reagabeast shared some important information for those who think women always want them

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
OneFretAway gave the next line of a song

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie was impressed by what Donald Trump showed off
apocryphaandmyth found a whole new reason to appreciate face coverings
markie_farkie discovered how dangerous Tucker Carlson's hobby can be
JerseyTim commented on how bad it looks for liberals if Barack Obama took a malaria drug over a decade ago
gopher321 revealed the real reason Canada won't reopen the border they share with the United States

Politics Smart:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat expected Trump to choose a different amount of time for the U.S. flag to fly at half-mast to honor Rep. John Lewis
Clarence Brown recalled foreshadowing that a Republican administration would send federal agents to cities to round up dissidents
Straight Outta Wells Branch figured one particular state wins the Vince Lombardi Trophy of Fail
Ken S. revealed the real reason Trump finally wore a mask
scottydoesntknow gave more information about a creepy, violent fantasy that conspiracy believers are spreading


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba found out why Budweiser uses Clydesdales for their advertising
hail2daking showed that some men really do have a "type"
clovercat realized one simply time travels into Mordor
maxandgrinch found Randy Quaid making trouble at Starbucks
Sensei Can You See completely ruined my plans for next weekend
RedZoneTuba gave the United States a failing grade
RedZoneTuba showed us what a real Comet looks like if you zoom in on a photo of one
Alligator made a huge pomander ball with a really unfortunate design
hail2daking helped a film studio branch out with its classic logo
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a Bilbo fan who knows how to deal with an unruly Gollum

Caption:
From "Take a famous movie line and add 'due to the pandemic' to the end of it, due to the pandemic":

Megathuma didn't need any supernatural abilities
LouisZepher found that even computers are practicing social distancing
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat knew the safest place to be right now
There were a lot more great entries for this contest, so be sure to check them out. You can see the voting results here.

Fartist Friday: Illustrate what your pets would say if they could talk
This contest ended in a three-way between CrankyAndi's un-cranky kitten, Manic Depressive Mouse's cat in a disaster zone, and Snubnose's doggy uprising

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Compete in the Summer Farklympics by using a paint/draw program to show us what Fark-inspired event you'd medal in while representing Team Farkistan. Bonus: Include your Team Farkistan uniform

Farktography:
Kirablue42 won Farktography Contest No. 793: "Things" with the no-longer-missing link

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, and although we couldn't establish just how hot it was outside, we did establish it was indeed hot. Luckily, the it's colder than the It's a Small World ride in mid-July in the 1000 club. On the Quiz itself, The Third Man took top honors with a ridiculous 1059, followed by uncledinAZ in second with 996 and Mztlplx in third with 928. Blackstone took fourth with 924, and senorbdub finishes out the top five with 923.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over those wacky French and their job titles. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that a newly created Cabinet position dealing with economic incentives for foreign investment was somehow translated as "Minister of Attractiveness." I'm pretty sure the first English speakers who heard it never bothered to correct them, as "Minister of Attractiveness" just seems like a normal French thing to have.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over last week's demolition of the Palace at Auburn Hills, which was the largest NBA venue in the country for decades. 84% of quiztakers knew that should you manage to battle your way through 1988-2017 Detroit, you could watch the Pistons play, and even get up close and personal with players such as the Indiana Pacers' Ron Artest. Interestingly, the Palace at Auburn Hills was one of only two NBA arenas from the era which never sold naming rights (the other was (is) Madison Square Garden).

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over a 1976 offer for a Beatles reunion, as told by Ringo Starr at his recent online birthday party. Only 18% of quiztakers knew that the group turned down an astonishing £50 million after they learned their opening act would be some guy wrestling an 18-ft. great white shark. It seems the group took W.C. Fields' advice and chose not to work with children or animals (even if Fields never took his own advice).

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over how the USDA classifies milk products such as heavy cream, light cream, and half-and-half. 99% of quiztakers knew that the only requirement to use these labels was to have a certain percentage of milkfat content. No word yet on heavy whipping almondcream or half-and-soyhalf. 

If you missed the Quiz last week, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: A million views of Drew Twitching and Farking
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-15 12:06:07 PM (29 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.

Last week I happened to notice that the views on our Twitch channel went up over 1 million.  This was a surprise because I hadn't been watching the stats at all, I had no idea we'd even gone over 100,000.  For those who haven't checked it out, the main show is me telling my friend Dallan what happened today - what's important, what isn't, what's under the radar, and then we get into the weird stuff.  In particular, there's an emphasis on why a particular subject is in the news cycle right now.  At any rate, it's a lot of fun.  We're planning on streaming at 4 p.m. Eastern today, so drop by if you can.  And if you miss it, the video is saved to the channel as well.  On Fridays, we've been doing movie nights and playing Quiplash with the Fark community.  You'll also find some videos of Dallan playing Mercenaries 2, but that was mainly to push us up over 25 hours in a 30-day period.  However, we're considering perhaps doing a Friday evening where Dallan and I attempt to play a game we've never played before.  We're still experimenting, but so far so good!
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
FightDirector considered what would happen if women didn't go back to wearing bras when lockdown ends
gilgigamesh explained that it wasn't actually a "white power" sign that a cop flashed at a Proud Boy
Mantour described what happens if you refuse to wear a mask in a Canadian hospital
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat took a guess at the reason LaGuardia Airport's Terminal D was evacuated
Ivo Shandor asked a question about Arizona ordering refrigerated trucks to use when a morgue ran out of room
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That showed us what "moral outrage and bikinis" might look like
naughtyrev predicted a replacement for the brassiere
Bowen built a tribute to Fark
Doctor Funkenstein recognized a new technique that businesses are using to handle problems
Diogenes summed up what happens when you cough on Yuma Walmart employees who ask you to wear a mask

Smart:
gilgigamesh explained that it wasn't actually a "white power" sign that a cop flashed at a Proud Boy
SoupGuru adjusted a famous expression to fit our current struggles
Langdon_777 gave more information about an incident where a cop unnecessarily pointed a gun at a man's head
mrshowrules thought that one medical professional might not always be so professional
LordZorch forgot to mention using your sudden wealth to buy nice things for DisseminationMonkey
Chief Superintendent Lookout told us about running into a covidiot in the wild
Snaptastic met your dad last week (I'm just kidding, please don't be mad at me)
Prank Call of Cthulhu talked about how incredibly dangerous it is to wear a cloth mask
G. Tarrant pointed out that a woman who was kicked out of a hospital for refusing to wear a mask actually lucked out
HerptheDerp explained the "OK" hand gesture being taken over by white power douchebags

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Cafe Threads discovered that sometimes you can't count on your parents to help you save money
Funny: olapbill is not someone to forget a lover
Smart: make me some tea needs to make me this platter
Smart: Murflette explained the subtle difference between Russian blue and Prussian blue

Politics Funny:
markie_farkie did some serious multitasking
Mr.Tangent figured out why Joe Biden released 21 years of his tax returns
pkjun explained why the U.S. has such high numbers of daily deaths from COVID-19
Farking Clown Shoes looked at what a couple who defaced a Black Lives Matter mural managed to accomplish
adamgreeney reacted to news that the Ayn Rand Institute received money from the Paycheck Protection Program

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
farkingismybusiness had a bit of dark humor

Politics Smart:
Raymond Perjurytrap noticed someone had a strangely calibrated bullshiat detector
Private_Citizen figured that a grim prediction about the coronavirus is probably somewhat optimistic
A Cave Geek thought that Joe Biden will have a stack of work prepared for his first day if he wins the election
Megathuma looked at how some nurses who've helped fight the pandemic are being treated
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes helped explain what was happening with the case against Michael Flynn


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
fluffy_pope decided to narrow down who will be on the rebranded D.C. football team
Nothing To See Here wanted to honor a respected historical figure
opalakea chose a design based on a major influence in the D.C. area
Thrakkorzog knew what a real sharp dressed man looks like
RedZoneTuba doubled down on Washington
west.la.lawyer decided not to have any skin in the game
Thrakkorzog showed us how Skynet will be born
asstamassta really earned that screen name
Alligator appropriately went with a nautical theme
RedZoneTuba made this into a Hans-on art piece
Yammering_Splat_Vector tucked these hanging tents away in a shady spot

Fartist Friday: Create a portrait of summertime
FeuDePoubelle has a lovely garden

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show us what your pet would say if they could talk. Use any medium you like - art software, pen and paper, etc.  

Farktography:
Circusdog320 won Farktography Contest No. 793: "A Fire in the Sky" with an amazing shot of flaming hills and lightning

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although I didn't get any good tips on avoiding griefers in online gaming. On the Quiz itself, jayfurr gets solo possession of the 1000 club Zoom channel with a score of 1049, followed by runwiz in second with 914 and Skerry_Monkey in third with 913. bradley547 took fourth with a score of 912, and the_colonel finished fifth with a respectable 880.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about newscaster Hugh Downs and his extensive career as a broadcaster. Only 16% of quiztakers knew that the job he had never held was weatherman for WABC-TV in New York. In fact, he was never involved in weather forecasting throughout his career, and never worked at WABC (the vast majority of his career was with NBC until 20/20). He was indeed host of "Concentration" for over ten years beginning in 1958, and announced for "The Tonight Show" for the last five years of the Jack Parr era from 1957-1962.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over where a Louisiana man went for a swim in his very mature and humble quest for "TikTok fame." 83% of quiztakers knew that the man took a dip in the aquarium at the Bass Pro Shop in Bossier City. The irony, of course, was that the person who filmed his antics got far more views on their social media than he did on his TikTok. So maybe if you're going for TikTok fame, do something idiotic in private where no one else is filming. Or maybe, you know, just don't do idiotic stuff. 

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over Kanye West and his congratulatory message to his wife on her becoming a billionaire. While I can see why 55% of quiztakers would think that tweeting a pair of Yeezys would be completely on-brand with Kanye, in truth, nothing says Kanye more than something completely bizarre - like a couple of tomatoes and some random weird flowers, as only 45% of quiztakers knew.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over the location of the famous Globe Theatre, built by Shakespeare's theatre troupe and where many of his plays debuted. Surprisingly, only 94% of quiztakers knew that London was a far more appropriate venue for plays written in (and inventing a small part of) the English language to premiere than 16th Century Paris. But then again, the best way to appreciate Shakespeare is in the original Klingon, so I can understand the confusion of the 6%.

If you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz here. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Seems like the right time for the robot uprising 🤖
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-08 1:01:15 PM, edited 2020-07-08 1:07:33 PM (34 comments) | Permalink

There's no message from Drew in the Fark NotNewsletter this week because his laptop went off and joined the AI takeover. This also means there won't be a Fark News Update Livestream until he gets it back, which could be as soon as Friday. Hopefully it doesn't elope with his bot.

Remember: Computers don't need to become self aware in order to decide to take over control of the world, they only need to become aware of us.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
OK So Amuse Me explained why a woman's explanation for her Trader Joe's freakout seemed legit
Dork Gently expressed shock when police repressed the rights of a group of musicians to hold a vigil for a man who was killed by police
gopher321 offered a free service for your parking lot or car park
Naido found a group that would've appreciated the pizza design that got two Little Caesars employees fired
grokca showed the woman who scared a man so much that he followed her for two miles
Demetrius was surprised to see who Christina Ricci's estranged husband is
oldernell figured out why police broke up a vigil with musicians playing violins
maxandgrinch revealed the spouse of a woman who threw a mask tantrum at Trader Joe's
Boo_Guy asked Parthenogenetic a technical question about probiotics
blatz514 was very confused by what Queef Wellington wanted to happen

Smart:
brap discovered an unexpected benefit to wearing a cloth mask
iheartscotch pointed out that there's merit to a suggestion for how Black Lives Matter protesters can be safe from police interference
HawgWild gave a spelling lesson that's valid - at least for now
thecactusman17 had information that might be useful if you're ever feeling shooty in Oklahoma
Rapmaster2000 explained why some people even get angry about other people wearing masks and being cautious
CruiserTwelve noticed a positive sign after cops were photographed reenacting a chokehold that killed a man near his memorial
ecmoRandomNumbers had a theory about what started the downfall of the English language
Cache made a prediction of what's to come in the fight against police brutality
Uranus Megahertz shared a possible farewell message from an entertainment icon
Znuh gave an update on the hellish journey through COVID-19 - see this thread from May for the beginning of Znuh's story and some advice in case you end up needing it

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: Louisiana_Sitar_Club faced major problems after installing solar panels
Smart: generalDisdain learned an unfortunate lesson
Smart: croesius wanted to see a reward for people in an important profession
Funny: Roman Fyseek shared a story about boats and a blind date
Funny: CommieTaoist learned to do all thinking above the waistline
Smart: Beeblebrox suggested a way of handling the situation if your neighbor gets paint drops all over your house

Politics Funny:
bambi121899 made an observation when Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend tested positive for the coronavirus
Diogenes compared raising boys to raising girls
HugeMistake was confused by President Trump's harsh treatment of Russia
Cubansaltyballs recognized where Arizonans got the idea to have gyms with liquor licenses
TDWCom29 knew what will happen now that Ghislaine Maxwell has been arrested

Bonus:
A thread asked Farkers to "describe the Trump Presidency as a GIF." It's basically impossible to tell which GIFs are used in an original way here and which ones have been used for mocking Trump before, and the thread has much hilarity anyway, so here are the voting results. Enjoy! 

Politics Smart:
HugeMistake was confused by President Trump's harsh treatment of Russia
shopball had a suggestion for when airplane passengers won't wear their face coverings properly over their noses and mouths
bdub77 appreciated the argument Mary Trump's lawyer used to challenge the NDA she signed
null pointed out an example the Trump administration should have learned from
Ambivalence looked at how Trump is outsmarting America's enemies


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us some people to avoid
RedZoneTuba revealed the price of idiocy
Yammering_Splat_Vector broke a big story out of the White House
clovercat showed what's hopefully not at the other end of the waterslides
Alligator came up with an exciting way to repurpose NASA's X-38
hail2daking gave this pup a riding companion
RedZoneTuba made a more representative flag for Mississippi
clovercat figured a proper space toilet already exists, just needs the NASA seal of approval
RedZoneTuba Phoebeed in the pool
asstamassta found out how Batman ruined the fireworks show

Fartist Friday: Write an original Haiku about the view from your window
This ended in a tie between bucket_pup's flexible sunbather (with helpful photo) and Cafe Threadshowl at the moon

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Summertime: Create a portrait of summertime using any medium - pen and paper, Photoshop, sculpture, MS Paint, etc.

Farktography:
threnodyj won Farktography Contest No. 791: "Breakdown" with rusty old worker in a retirement home

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although no one made the 1000 club. Tracianne came out on top with 989, followed by bud jones in second with 921 and Oliver Twisted in third with 916. SoundOfOneHandWanking made fourth with 912, and Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs finishes out the top five with 909.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over which President signed the first GI Bill (officially, the Serviceman's Readjustment Act) which offered low-cost mortgages, tuition and living expenses for higher education, and up to a year of unemployment benefits to returning soldiers. Only 25% of quiztakers knew that this was signed way back in 1944 by Franklin D. Roosevelt, who saw it as an expansion of his New Deal, although in truth it was a compromise - FDR wanted more focus on all poor people, not just veterans.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over which burger chain native Texan and NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes was likely to see in his new home of Kansas City in the near future. 72% of quiztakers knew that Whataburger, based in San Antonio, is King of Texas burgers for anyone from the state. FWIWI, Krystal is based in Dunwoody, GA, and Popeye's is of course Louisiana Chicken but for some reason based in Miami, FL.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over a £12,500 auction win of a 1935 letter addressed to one "Buffkins", written and illustrated by artist E H Shepard. Only 37% of quiztakers caught the story and knew that it was Xi Jinping, er...Winnie the Pooh who sent his regrets of being unable to attend young Buffkins' birthday party. Paddington Bear was not introduced to the world until 1958.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was also an auction question, this time about a 1959 Martin D-18E guitar that just went for $6 million. 86% of quiztakers knew that it was Kurt Cobain's guitar he used for the 1993 "Unplugged in New York" performance. Interestingly, this was the exact guitar he was holding when he lamented that he could not afford the $500,000 that the estate of famed blues guitarist Ledbelly was asking for his guitar, and that David Geffen wouldn't buy it for him.

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz right here

Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: The results from Adblockblockingpalooza
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-07-01 2:50:30 PM (50 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week went well.  Been slammed here, but it's not all bad.

An update: Two weeks ago, we ran a 24-hour test where we blocked adblock to see what impact it was having on our revenue, since Fark's adblock rate is well over 50% of our overall traffic.  We wanted to compare that test to the same time period a week later to see if folks would turn adblock off and leave it off for Fark. One week later, that's what the data indicates.  Ad revenues are nearly identical during the block test and the same period the week following.  Plus we picked up a bunch of BareFark subscribers during the test, which was awesome because we'd prefer everyone have BareFark than display ads.  So tl;dr, 1) the test was a success and 2) we don't have any plans to block ad blockers in the near future.

However, one interesting result of the test period was we discovered that there is some entirely valid confusion as to why TotalFark doesn't include ad-blocking.  There's a long story behind that, the short conclusion of which is: the confusion is totally understandable.  The flagship subscription -should- include a no-ads experience.  I've got some ideas about what could be done there - and if you'd like to get in on that conversation, I'll be discussing it on TotalFark probably Friday.  By the way, one of the benefits of TotalFark is that we discuss long-term changes with TotalFarkers while we're still in the brainstorming phase.  So if you'd like to have input, come join us.

The Fark News Update Livestream continues this week - today at 4 p.m. Eastern, tomorrow sometime, and we haven't decided on Friday, but since we did games last week, we should probably look at movie night again.  Open to suggestions there.  Come join us at our Twitch channel at 4 p.m.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
TheHighlandHowler was in a toxic film with Ron Jeremy
NeoCortex42 reacted to news of The Hedgehog's alleged crimes
Doctor Funkenstein described a disturbing scene (I'm not kidding)
Uzzah felt pretty smug about Samsung Blu-ray players malfunctioning
rudemix defended the suspicious rope found hanging in Bubba Wallace's garage at at Talladega Superspeedway
Tr0mBoNe ran into a problem when Samsung Blu-ray players suddenly stopped working
FormlessOne explained why one of the cops charged in George Floyd's death wasn't wearing a mask while shopping
Cythraul comforted Doctor Funkenstein
Tr0mBoNe showed that even Jesus has a wandering eye
TorpedoOrca revealed a little-known fact about Nova Scotia

Smart:
felching pen had an idea for special packs of Skittles
leviosaurus pointed out that one of the cops involved in George Floyd's murder did yet another stupid thing
CarnySaur noticed another thing for a person who throws a fit over masks at Starbucks to get angry over
SumoJeb noted that a woman who accused an innocent family of stealing her car had things that didn't seem to belong to her
lindalouwho shared reason to believe that most people can manage to breathe with a cloth mask just fine
FormlessOne explained why one of the cops charged in George Floyd's death wasn't wearing a mask while shopping
hobnail took a close look at the noose found at Talladega Superspeedway
WalkingSedgwick must've posted this using a rental or a friend's computer or something
Winterlight came up with an idea for a sadly useful device
gameshowhost explained, in a Gen-X way, why Gen-Z doesn't seem to be too worried about giving the virus to baby boomers

CSB Sunday Morning: Summer vacation
Smart & Funny: GRCooper learned that sometimes a trucker's honk isn't just because kids in another vehicle requested it

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be.

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Beeblebrox gave an opinion on a TotalFarker's imaginary tattoo quandary
Smart: ytterbium had some insight about couples with different levels of education
Funny: Beeblebrox asked a question about an ex breaking health guidelines by taking a child into Best Buy
Funny: Shakespeare's Monkey's mom is about to be invited to a bunch of concerts
Smart: TheSteelCricket revealed the truth about online IQ tests
Smart: rebelyell2006 suggested a fun new way to celebrate the Fourth of July
Funny: Dance Party told a TotalFarker how to mount a large TV by yourself

Politics Funny:
Ken S. pointed out that President Trump really has done a lot to help Maine's fishing industry
Marcus Aurelius knew who's to blame for Trump's attempts to stoke racism
RodneyToady completed a sentence with a familiar cadence
iago mentioned someone who managed to pull off what Trump couldn't
common sense is an oxymoron knew why there weren't more people at Trump's rally

Politics Smart:
Jack Sabbath compared the Chicago murders that "horrified" Trump to potential murders that didn't seem to trouble him
GardenWeasel argued that Trump actually did something about intelligence indicating Putin put a bounty on members of U.S. military
markie_farkie saw in hindsight a hint that Trump ignored information about Russia posing a threat to Americans
kazrak had a suggestion to encourage police departments to ban chokeholds
Butterflew considered what it would take for some Trump fans to turn on him


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a new aunt to get pancake syrup from
DarkJohnson somehow created a breakfast mascot that's even more controversial
Thrakkorzog figured that nobody should be this happy
Godscrack put the instructions in the name of the product
Yammering_Splat_Vector was a little late with this gift
Yammering_Splat_Vector made an ad for the Sackler family business
Iggie found a new market for vape pens
RedZoneTuba showed that there's still a need for this classic disinfectant
Iggie gave this red panda the ultimate gift
RedZoneTuba gave us a glimpse of mating season

Fartist Friday:MS Paint your fantasy job
jbtilley is all out of bubble gum

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Window View Haiku -  write an original Haiku about the view from your window

Farktography:
Badafuco won Farktography Contest No. 790: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips 3" with a beautiful striped and speckled rose

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although thanks to a screwup on my part, several dozen quiztakers got all 14 questions instead of the usual 11 and this threw off the whole rankings. Still, I'm going to give the top 10 a shout-out here:

The Third Man - 1228
Recoil Therapy - 1093
Mztlplx - 1067
zerkalo - 1028
mybluemake - 1000
bud jones - 1000
TheMothership - 991
mfgordon - 965
bababa - 963
leftofcool -948

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over the ingredients of SPAM. Since Nigerian princes and male enhancement weren't choices, we were stuck looking on the label. Only 31% of quiztakers knew that the secret ingredient was sugar - a trick also utilized by many restaurants in their kids meals, because, well, sugar tastes good. It also does help with the caramelization when you're frying it up. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which company announced they were no longer going to make "commemorative" police batons. 83% of quiztakers knew that for some reason, Louisville Slugger, famed manufacturer of baseball bats, has been quietly making these truncheons designed to commemorate police officers and their act of whacking people with wooden sticks for the past "15 to 20 years" (no one at the company seemed to know). I mean, good on them for stopping production, but talk about bad taste...

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was over why Ford decided to change the date of its new reveal of the upcoming redesigned Ford Bronco from their initial choice of July 9. It seems 46% of quiztakers will be owing Mr. Orenthal James Simpson a birthday card, since you knew that this was his special day. Also, any tips on the Real Killer should be sent c/o any metro Las Vegas golf courses.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over which sitcom cast was reuniting for a special promo show for NBC's Peacock streaming service. 77% of quiztakers knew that it was "30 Rock" that was getting the band back together. "Scrubs" was picked up by ABC for its eighth and final season which would have made things weird if they did a promo for rival NBC. (I do not acknowledge that show they called "Season Nine of Scrubs" as existing). 

Congratulations to the winners, and if you missed last week's Quiz, you can catch up right here.

This week's Quiz is up, so go test your Weird News knowledge!
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Livestream Taste Test
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-06-24 1:05:51 PM (62 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Last week we ran a 24-hour test of blocking ad blockers, and I had hoped to have the results for you today.  However, we need to compare last week to the same time period this week due to incredibly boring but relevant reasons, and that doesn't end until later today, so I'll have that for you next week.

Meanwhile, one thing the test did reveal is that there is confusion as to why TotalFark doesn't include the BareFark no-ads experience.  The tl;dr reason for this is a bunch of incremental changes over the past 20 years, but folks have a point - it doesn't make any sense.  I've got some thoughts on where we go from here that I'll be sharing with the TotalFark community probably next week-ish.  By the way, one of the benefits of TotalFark is getting to hear about upcoming changes in advance and weigh in on them.  TotalFark is our focus group, we run policy changes, redesigns, and so on by the TotalFark community to get input.  Join TotalFark and lend us your input.

At 3 p.m. Eastern today, we're running the Fark News Summary Livestream - find out what's important and what's been overlooked in the news today.  Today's stream includes a meta-rundown of how to parse otherwise incomprehensible mainstream media articles about crime - specifically an incident that happened in Milwaukee yesterday.  We're also trying a new Lightning Round feature today for articles that don't have a lot of nuance to them but are still of interest.  So join us at 3 p.m. if you can.

A quick note - this week we're trying to debug something on the Twitch Livestream embed.  For some reason it autoplays audio sometimes even though we've told it not to.  We've got a fix, but we're running tests on a smaller percentage of browsers to try to nail down what the culprit is.  If you get autoplay audio, drop us a Farkback and let us know.  If the test works, no one will get autoplay audio.  So we'll see how it goes.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
duppy knew the truth behind an article claiming women show less interest in men who hold cats in their dating profile photos
derpes_simplex described the problem with exercise ropes a man hung from trees in a public park
styckx noticed a Twitter user's false advertising
Pocket Ninja was ready to start producing some reality shows
Doctor Funkenstein reacted to news that Aunt Jemima products will be rebranded and renamed
Naido explained always suspecting white females when a crime is committed
common sense is an oxymoron had a concern about a well-known Scientologist who was charged with three counts of rape
LordOfThePings found another movie that, due to modern sensitivities, should have a warning label
ababyatemydingo could kind of understand why someone would burn down a Wendy's
Mad Scientist discovered that there's someone who's feeling pretty smug right about now

Smart:
King Something straightened out a rumor about a fast food CEO
karl2025 considered the clues to an old mystery
lennavan made a particularly apt comparison considering what was being protested
August11 described how inappropriate and offensive some professors can be if they've had no experience outside of classrooms
capn' fun shared how COVID-19 has affected an ICU as well as an otherwise healthy young woman who works there
Pocket Ninja marveled at a man's dual dualities
McJaemes had personal experience with being retaliated against for trying to put a stop to racism at work
Sachlpch described what it's been like working in retail during the pandemic
Bennie Crabtree had a theory about why the name of a cop who kept washing away children's BLM messages wasn't revealed

Check out Fark's annual Father's Day thread:What would you say to your dad today if you could?

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: a particular individual had a name for the Proud Boys to use for their new dating app
Funny: meg12279 came up with an interesting way of thinking about people
Funny: Por que tan serioso complained that birdmanesq debased an oral discussion
Funny: IvyLady called Beeblebrox a name, but Beeblebrox liked it
Funny meg12279 shared the right way to say goodnight to your date
Funny: farkingismybusiness questioned a TotalFarker whose daughter might be allergic to sage
Smart: Flab showed how wonderfully things can turn out

Politics Funny:
King Something showed that some guys can do it with one hand
jbc explained why Matt Gaetz would have adopted a teenager - (In case you don't get that, it's a reference to a story His Mexcellency shared last year)
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated how Donald Trump could've done a worse job
gunga galunga felt the magnitude of such a feat
NewportBarGuy showed how one senator felt about John Bolton's claim that Trump asked Xi Jinping to help him get reelected

Politics Smart:
Type_Hard figured that Rep. Mo Brooks would be willing to apply his reasoning to all types of discrimination
markie_farkie argued that evidence shows that Brad Parscale lied about protesters blocking supporters from getting into Trump's rally
Boondock3806 recounted a conversation about battling systemic racism
Pocket Ninja discussed the two types of conservatives on the Supreme Court
FrabjousDay pointed out that "free" can turn out to be very expensive


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector decided this vehicle is better as a sedan
hail2daking brought out this figure's noble spirit
verchad made a statue more aerodynamic
Thrakkorzog figured out how Chris lost his head
Large Marge sent me showed us how you make sure nobody else catches the foul balls
Driver proved that we're living in The Far Side
RedZoneTuba fixed this statue so it's better than new
Bumcheese went where no Farker has gone before
Large Marge sent me replaced some famous shells
Thrakkorzog gave RedZoneTuba a major award

Captions:
From Caption this mammal meeting:

Driver misread the instructions
clovercat apparently made the same mistake
As did Thrakkorzog and Snubnose
From Caption these wee turtles:
Devolving_Spud gave a clue about which state these turtles are turtling in
kdawg7736 knew what these little guys were heading out to do
Grumpy Cat showed that some band names are actually quite literal

Fartist Friday: Show us a work of art you've made and tell us the story behind it
Holy cr*p, there are so many talented Farkers! I'm not really surprised, though, because we have an awesome community. Thunderboy won this week's contest with a gorgeous scrappy homemade electric bass (the string instrument, not the other kind of musical electric bass). Be sure to check out the rest of the contest for a variety of really cool works of art and the stories behind them. 

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Use MS Paint (or similar) to draw your fantasy job and let us guess what it is

About Fartist Friday:
Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays and will show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
Farktography Contest No. 789: "Purple 3" ended in a tie between beerrun's purple-topped musician and Ldrtchbrd's lavender lily

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the quiz, but I still don't think anyone is interested in my fried coleslaw recipe. Recoil Therapy took top honors with a score of 1007 and will be sharing the Virtual 1000 Club with edmo, who came in second with 1004. Denjiro made third with 975, Glockenspiel Hero took fourth with 942, and rick42 finishes out the top five with 940.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was over a, well, "cheeky" billboard on the side of a semi-trailer that was seen cruising the QE II Highway in Alberta last week, featuring a half-exposed butt. Only 24% of quiztakers knew that those wacky Canadians thought an exposed bum was a great way of promoting a gardening centre at a department store chain, oddly enough called "Canadian Tire." 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was over King Leopold II, one of the most brutal kings of the past hundred years who took over the area now known as The Congo, enslaved the residents, and declared the land and the people to be his personal property outside his government functions. 73% of quiztakers knew he was the king of Belgium, a country that really doesn't want statues honoring him around anymore. I mean, I'd rather be known for waffles than a racist genocidal maniac, too.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about the facial recognition technology known as "Rekognition," which totally doesn't sound like something from a '90s sci-fi movie directed by Paul Veerhoven at all. Only 39% of quiztakers knew this technology actually came from Amazon, which seems to be a puzzling thing for a retailer that advertises shopping in your underwear to be involved in. I mean, at least it's *facial* recognition, right?

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was over drummer Frank Beard and his 51-year career. 91% of quiztakers knew that one of the most ironic things in  music was a guy named "Beard" in ZZ Top, a band famous for giant beards who happens to be clean-shaven. He's been quoted as saying about the matter "Why compete if you can't win?" I'm not sure that's advice I can always follow, but hey, it works for him.

Congratulations to the winners. If you missed out on last week's quiz, you can catch up here.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Here's what true believers ask Drew about his time travels
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-06-17 5:09:59 PM (47 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hope everyone's week is going well.  We ran a 24-hour adblock test yesterday and today to see what impact it had on ad revenues.  Thanks for bearing with us on that.  Thanks also to everyone who took us up on our offer for free BareFark for those with a need.  As I've said in the NotNewsletter before about adblock, I totally understand there are many reasons for needing it and we're fine with you using it - however if your adblock use is just casual, we thank you for whitelisting us. And thanks to the 100+ folks who picked up BareFark during the test, we really appreciate it!

So my time travel tweet from May 1st is still going viral and jumping platforms.  I thought I'd share the most common time travel questions I've been getting.  Lots of "will I be famous?" and "will everything be OK again?" - I've been saying yes to the latter.  The strangest consistent questions have been about BTS (I admit I had to look that one up), and lately about whether or not we're all going to die on June 21st because of the Mayan Calendar (no).  The number one question I've been asked, by far, is "When will One Direction get back together?" Probably whenever the first one of them runs out of money, I figure.

The Fark and Schnitt podcast is still on hiatus this week, but hopefully things will calm down enough next week for us to do the next episode.  Then again, the way 2020 has been going, the only three things left on my 2020 Apocalypse Bingo card are Robot Uprising, Busy Hurricane Season, and Alien Invasion.

The Fark Livestream is still going, however.  Next episodes are 5:30 p.m. Eastern today (Wednesday), sometime tomorrow, and I think we're doing movie night again Friday evening.  I'll post links as details present themselves.

Speaking of the livestream, last Friday evening, we tested out embedding the Twitch player on Fark.  For some reason it fired up and autoplayed audio for a lot of folks.  We don't know why that happened, we set it to start muted but for some reason it didn't. This seemed to happen mainly for Chrome and Android users.  We're still trying to figure out why that happened, sorry about that!

Be well, be safe, be excellent to each other.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
johnsoninca was unhappy with a bully's racism
Boo_Guy knew who set an Atlanta Wendy's on fire
Visual Howlaround Title Sequence illustrated gilgigamesh's greatest fear
EvilEgg felt for the person who wrote a bunch of thank-you notes to the Austin Police Department
potierrh explained why law enforcement officers slashed tires at Minneapolis protests
outtatowner could see how a busybody found her vocation
nekom had a different take on the Wendy's arson
Tanqueray shared the general opinion of burning down that Atlanta Wendy's
Fart_Machine pointed out that the story Al Roker's Forecast shared could've been so much worse
Nana's Vibrator described another crime committed by the [Filipino] man who was called out for stenciling a BLM message on a wall

Smart:
NotCodger gave police a reason to destroy every tire in the world
edmo had a sobering thought about the many instances of police brutality that have been captured on video since protests against police brutality started after George Floyd's murder
pkjun gave advice that should be obvious, but apparently isn't for some people
TelemonianAjax analyzed the Thin Blue Line flag
pkjun argued that sometimes there are reasons people "just happen" to catch others' bad behavior on video
Devolving_Spud noticed something police officers often do when they know onlookers are taking video
Dinjiin pointed to something that factored into deciding to leave the Republican Party
I Ate Shergar tried to dash any hopes that the world is about to end
Squid_for_Brains has had some experience with staring down awful men
shabu offered to help people who didn't have time to watch Dave Chappelle's new video

CSB Sunday Morning: "Do you know who I am?" - Unexpected encounters with famous people
Smart: Winterlight met a legend between SLO and LAX
Funny: libranoelrose chowed down with a player in The Locker Room
Funny (honorable mention because it's not a celebrity): MythDragon respected the command hierarchy of the PX line

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. If you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. 

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: flucto explained how a puppy earned her name (with cute puppy photo)
Smart: bostonguy shared a photo of a Black Lives Matter demonstration that started with just one person
Funny: Joliebleu disapproved of a certain form of self ornamentation
Funny: levitcleos suggested a nickname for flucto's puppy
Funny: It_Really_Does_Glisten wished to register a complaint about a TotalFark Discussion headline
Funny: farkingismybusiness took a BuzzFeed quiz very seriously
Smart: croesius took a great photo for a future Farktography contest
Smart: WickerNipple apparently doesn't think Fark is social
Smart: Munden suggested a name for a puppy who is "too sweet" to be a police dog

Side note: I did a survey and discussion about what I include in the TotalFark Discussion section of the Fark NotNewsletter. You can give it a read, and contact me through Farkback or email if you have thoughts or questions about it.

Politics Funny:
Mike_LowELL reacted when a doctor from the World Health Organization made a statement (that has since been walked back) about asymptomatic transmission of COVID-19
vudukungfu explained why it makes sense for K-pop fans to take over hateful hashtags on Twitter
Dahnkster pointed out that the Confederacy will still be represented at NASCAR races
edmo shared a Trump tweet that might not be real
nekom quoted the wise words of Megyn Kelly

Politics Smart:
bloobeary addressed Dilbert creator Scott Adams' complaints about Black Lives Matter protests
Ken S. hoped that Mitt Romney joining a protest march to the White House could lead to another moral stand
Lord Bear had an idea to get cops to stop appropriating the Punisher logo
Precious Roy's Horse Dividers continued a spicy headline
MattytheMouse looked at recent progress that's happened as a result of protests


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
west.la.lawyer showed us what it takes to make perfect rotisserie chicken
Private_Citizen gave a Confederate memorial the frame it deserves
Yammering_Splat_Vector found a modern Moses
GardenWeasel made good use of the world's largest "Calvin peeing" decal
Yammering_Splat_Vector literally scaled down the architecture
Yammering_Splat_Vector memorialized a man who suffered from racism rather than men who fought for it
RedZoneTuba demonstrated the proper way to cross a glass-bottomed bridge
Large Marge sent me showed that the skyway wasn't the only thing getting crossed in this thread
DarkJohnson came to the gran finale (more on this below)
Large Marge sent me brought back a classic Fark urban myth
jaylight2003 figured this man should win again

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
DarkJohnson did a week-long, one-Farker, multi-thread, 18-'shop tennis match. Here they are, in order - hopefully I don't miss any:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Fartist Friday: Create a brand logo for your user name
hail2daking made a displeased royal

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: Show us a work of art you've made and tell us the story behind it

About Fartist Friday:
Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays and will show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
it's lisa e. won Farktography Contest No. 788: "Y M C A" with a defiant celebration

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Watch Drew lose to Fark's top headline writers
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-06-10 3:08:12 PM (54 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

A few quick notes:

Next Monday we're going to be running a no-adblock test to see what impact that has on ad revenues.  If it's minor, that'll be the end of it.  If it's substantial, we'll probably end up leaving it in place going forward.  As I mentioned in earlier NotNewsletters, ad revenues are way off due to the pandemic, and as such, we need to take action to keep the lights on going forward.  Thanks to all of you who have signed up for TotalFark, ads-free BareFark, and bought Farks2Give and the OhFark pandemic badge have done heroic work helping us keep going during these coronavirus times.  Sign up if you haven't, it helps very much!

In other news, the Fark and Schnitt podcast is going on a hiatus due to the state of the current news cycle.  We're running into a double whammy of less available weird material in the news cycle and less of a public appetite for offbeat stuff. Switching to a real news format is problematic because of the speed at which things are moving, it doesn't lend itself to a weekly format.  So we're going to hit pause for a bit until calmer times and hopefully be back soon.

The Fark Livestream continues on, however, since it's more of a daily format as well as more breaking news oriented.  Dallan and I will be live at my Twitch channel at 7 Eastern today with a roundup of what's really important today, especially the items that got overlooked by most folks.  We'll be streaming news again Thursday, time TBA.

This Friday's Livestream at probably 7 p.m. is going to be a special event - Drew and Dallan are going head to head against some of Fark's top link submitters playing Quiplash. For those not familiar, it's like Cards Against Humanity except you write the answers yourself, funniest one wins.  We're probably going to get our butts handed to us, these folks are seriously talented. You can also get an "audience" slot where you can vote for the winner, so definitely come check it out and participate.  We may have a couple audience slots open if anyone wants to jump in the game with us.  Probably happening at 7 p.m., but keep an eye out on the main page as it gets closer to time.
________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
bthom37 had to correct an assertion that Suflig shared about Drew's famous time travel tweet
eurotrader sought to clarify what the previous comment was disagreeing with
sirrerun thought that an angry cyclist looked a little familiar
Prank Call of Cthulhu praised a gentleman's weapon of choice
Shostie figured out how a creepy dad could get his desired revenge on a man for sleeping with his daughter
Colour_out_of_Space summed up the thoughts of men who are overly concerned about their daughters' virginity
Magorn figured an incel might have made himself even more incelly
lurkey had advice for people who were trying to beat off an angry archer
Palined Parenthood was not happy with the statement Nordstrom put out after their Seattle store was looted
Stands With A Tiny Fist corrected a belief about Ford Mustangs

Smart:
Butterflew figured that two of the cops being new to the job explained one officer's behavior with George Floyd
Elegy felt a little sorry for one of the officers involved in Floyd's death
Private_Citizen noted differences in two autopsy reports
Walker thought that there was a sadly appropriate warning that Floyd had coronavirus
aperson liked the idea of police officers learning something from the U.S. military
IvanTheSilent had some thoughts on the difference between police unions and other unions
BumpInTheNight started to see the appeal of Google Glass
koder had a different kind of theory about Floyd's death
Flappyhead noticed some cities that didn't experience destruction during protests
Prank Call of Cthulhu praised a gentleman's weapon of choice

CSB Sunday Morning: Allowances and the chores that came with them
Smart:
basicstock cleaned for love and now loves to clean
Funny: CommieTaoist made a small error while polishing the furniture

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. If you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. 

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Smart: Hyperbolic Hyperbole told us the proper term for a group of penii
Smart: generalDisdain gave some Farking advice
Smart: generalDisdain recalled a good thing TFDers did recently
Smart: Barry McCockner explained the TotalFark discussion selfie thread process
Smart: Theeng was grateful for a small gift just when it was needed
Smart: ytterbium suggested a high school graduation gift with a $100 limit
Funny: merrillvillain has some experience with "medicinals"

Bonus FarkStaff Picks:
Funny:
Louisiana_Sitar_Club took "smoking cloves" literally as a wee child
Smart & Funny: Madison_Smiled shared a great stitching project

Politics Funny:
Devolving_Spud showed what Donald Trump thinks of the Tennessee National Guard laying down their shields at a protest
Gramma was worried about zombies
I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account found out that Sesame Street is in trouble
Diamond Joe Biden replied to Megan McCain's complaint that her neighborhood "looks like a war zone"
ultradeeg came to the only logical conclusion when the FBI didn't find evidence of antifa involvement in violence at D.C.-area protests

Politics Smart:
FightDirector analyzed Chairman to the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley's message to the Joint Force
King Something came up with a male name to use when applying the "Karen" meme to a man
weddingsinger noticed that a judge's decision triples down on civil rights violations
12349876 contrasted the protective gear provided to two different groups
Xai compared right wing reactions to quarantines and protests against police brutality


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba found Trump with something a former president must have left in the White House
Yammering_Splat_Vector learned that there are some things you're better off not having to assemble yourself
Abe Vigoda's Ghost discovered how lucky we are that this guy never reads anything
Circusdog320 showed us that Austin was telling the truth about those things not belonging to him
Thrakkorzog revealed the secret behind the worst Halloween candy
derpes_simplex had some insight on why Trump is so loyal to Vladimir Putin
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave an example of what can happen if you don't practice good oral hygiene
Alligator found a guy who seems to have big problems with rodents
verchad saw some signs that these protesters are stuck with each other
fdlgrl built a Texan's dream home
west.la.lawyer gave this monster something I'd be willing to fight it for

Honorable mentions:
Usually Fark Photoshop contests don't allow entries that just add text, but we had one contest that specifically asked for a title for "Trump's little black book." The top entries for adding text are from duppy and two entries from Mr.Tangent.

Caption:
From Caption this image of a dystopian future ... that is happening now:
Warthog figured this was a moment of self reflection
fragMasterFlash knew who really provided the soldiers guarding the Lincoln Memorial
LarryDan43 found out how these people ended up guarding the Lincoln Memorial

Fartist Friday:

Fartist Friday took a week off. This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake:
Create your own brand logo for your username using whatever you like - MS Paint, Photoshop, pen and paper, etc.

About Fartist Friday:
Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays and will show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
common sense is an oxymoron won Farktography Contest No. 787: "June Bug" with an action shot of The Pollinator. Be sure to check out the thread for some great bug pics. Arachnophobes are warned to stay away.

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: How Trump's Twitter tantrum affects Fark
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2020-06-03 1:54:15 PM (74 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

A couple of things of note THIS WEEK.  Firstly, I don't know if anyone's been wondering why Fark hasn't done a "we support black lives" display and/or UI update, so let me address that.  To be clear, I do support the cause.  However corporate messages of support for social causes have always seemed off to me.  For example, I don't really want to know what Bed Bath and Beyond's opinion on the subject is, especially since corporate opinions are usually wrapped in an implicit "come shop with us after."  I also don't have a good feel for what an appropriate display of support would look like, past Fark linking heavily to the events in question so everyone knows what's going on.  Anyhow, tl;dr we're on board if anyone was wondering.

Secondly, relative to last week, a couple of folks flagged me in separate comments last week before the protests started asking me to weigh in on Trump's executive order for social media websites. I'd meant to respond but, as happens during heavy news cycles, time got away from me.  However, someone else suggested I make it a topic for this week's newsletter.  It turns out the topic is both interesting and weird, and the tl;dr is yes, Fark qualifies under the EO, but I don't think anything will come of it.  Plus, if it were actually implemented, it would be worse for folks complaining about platform censorship.

Also, don't let the length of the discussion that follows imply that I think this is more important than the protests, I just happen to know a lot more about this subject than the other.

The Trump administration is attempting to use an executive order to smack down Twitter for putting advisories on some of Trump's tweets, correctly saying they encourage violence and/or are factually inaccurate.  The EO targets Section 230, which is a part of U.S. law that social networks in particular are obsessed with. It's literally all they want to talk about when I visit in person, it comes up even in casual meetings over drinks.

Section 230 lives in the Communications Decency Act, passed in 1996 and specifically states the following: "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider."  While the CDA was a big anti-porn thing in the mid-'90s that has mostly been ruled unconstitutional, Section 230 remains in effect.

This provision in the law came about mostly as a reaction to a 1993 lawsuit against Prodigy arguing they were liable for user-generated content because they took an editorial role.  This shares similarities with the Good Samaritan theoretical legal quandary, which worries for example that people who might try to give CPR to someone choking would became liable for a person's death if they failed to save them.  The theory goes that without legal protection, people would be less likely to help strangers in need.  Therefore Good Samaritans were carved out from liability laws.

In Prodigy's case, the court ruled that since Prodigy usually tried to moderate harmful content but failed in a specific instance, they were liable for the damage caused.  This seemed very similar to the Good Samaritan problem, where trying to do the right thing but failing in a specific instance triggers liability. Fast forward to 1996 when Congress is all bent out of shape over boobs on the internet. Telcos and ISPs argued that Section 230 was needed because without it, platforms wouldn't moderate anything for fear of liability (they also wanted blanket protection for themselves but that's the argument they made anyhow).

Section 230 basically says that content providers aren't liable for user-generated content as long as they at least attempt to keep things clean and safe.  However there's no guidance on how much work they have to do to keep things clean, which could include doing very little.  And therein lies the problem, because arguably most of the negative societal issues caused by social media company inaction are protected under Section 230.  Part of the problem was the focus of the Communications Decency Act was pornography, not disinformation.

I should note that this, by the way, is my perspective, and while it's exactly opposite of what I've seen tech writers say about this law, I can assure you from personal experience that this is how social media companies actually perceive it.  Section 230 allows them to take little or no action with impunity.

In short, Section 230 allows Twitter to do nothing about bad content.  It also allows them to devote very little in the way of resources to monitoring content. In either event, there's no liability for Twitter.  Whether that's a good or a bad thing, opinions differ.

Social media companies are terrified of losing section 230 protection because they think their behemoth platforms would be impossible to moderate.  Perhaps they're right, I wouldn't know because Fark doesn't have 500 million monthly active uniques. However, given how little effort they've put into trying to reign in Nazis, racists, and disinformation, I think the jury is out on that one - we don't know because they haven't tried.  I'd be willing to bet if Twitter threw a billion dollars into moderation, they'd make some kind of a dent at least.  And although I'd like them to try harder, I would concede that 100% enforcement is almost definitely impossible.  I'd settle for them trying much harder, however.

It's unclear what effect the administration thought its executive order would have.  Clearly they were trying to punish Twitter for flagging presidential tweets.  However, the EO they issued, if followed through, would actually end worse for the administration.  Social media uses Section 230 to do less than they otherwise would be required to do.  If Section 230 were altered or removed, social media would be forced to spend significantly more on resources for moderating content.  And just looking at a small sample of Trump's tweets in a given day, if Section 230 protections didn't exist and Twitter could be held liable for content, he'd be moderated so hard he'd barely get a single tweet published.  Same goes for a lot of the disinformation spreading accounts out there.  And I'm not sure extra vigilance would be such a bad thing,

However, from a practical standpoint, the impact on social media lies in the details of what happens next.  The EO instructs the FCC to take a look at Section 230 and issue more specific guidelines, implicitly asking for guidelines that would punish Twitter. I don't think this is likely to happen at all, mainly because FCC head Ajit Pai is fairly anti-regulation and likely isn't in any hurry to examine the issue.  I would expect him to slow-walk the EO until after November, at the very least.  Then whatever they come up with has to be approved by 3 out of 5 FCC commissioners, and it's not clear how that would play out either.

So now to the question at hand: How does the EO affect Fark? Well, currently it doesn't - it all depends on what the FCC does. If the FCC requires more stringent moderation - whether it affects Fark or not depends on to what degree.  If the FCC requires a best efforts moderation strategy, we already do that.  It's imperfect, but we try to do our best.  If the FCC requires every comment to be reviewed internally before posting, that would absolutely negatively affect Fark along with the entire social media ecosystem.  But I'm not sure it's the outcome the administration wants or intends.

So tl;dr we're good for now.  Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast: Brooke Binkowski from TruthorFiction.com is back to help us make sense of rumors of outside actors interfering in the nationwide protests. Who are they and what are they trying to do? Brooke has the answer, and it's both fascinating and nuanced as hell.  Check it out. 

Also later today at 7 p.m. Eastern, Dallan and I are back with the Fark Livestream News Summary.  On today's episode, the news cycle went full bore apocalypse - mutant ticks, hurricanes, Yellowstone, and social distancing monkeys.  Also a summary of the news you actually need to know. And cats with chickens on their heads. Join us at my Twitch channel And if you get a chance check out our movie night from last Friday, it's easily the funniest thing we've ever done.

________________________

We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Farking Clown Shoes was surprised by what Alphax was listening to
felching pen told us what scientists were able to predict after measuring virus levels in municipal sewage
AdmirableSnackbar figured out why "Central Park Karen" got fired
Russ1642 knew what modern police training is missing
Badmoodman considered the prospect of University of Michigan not playing football this year
169th Cousin shared a sexy redhead photo
nyseattitude pointed out the ridiculousness of a fire safety rule where another Farker lives
Shostie was defensive about what One Million Moms claimed about Pixar movies
SanityIsAFullTimeJob taught Mugato a new word
moos revealed the truth about a guy who's hooking up with his mom's friend while he's staying at her house because it's close to his work

Smart:
bdub77 had some ideas for police reform
Ishkur talked about how the ubiquitousness of cameras changed people's perception of the world
pkjun described the process of trying to have a police officer held accountable for abuse
fusillade762 explained why a bunch of guys review bombed a movie before it even came out
Xai discussed the first video that was released of the murder of George Floyd
LOLITROLU had an idea for Amy Cooper's next job
Hoban Washburne looked at the way Derek Chauvin knelt on George Floyd's neck
jso2897 noted Derek Chauvin's demeanor as he killed George Floyd
Cheron pointed out something familiar about the "Central Park Karen" story

CSB Sunday Morning: That one time at summer camp
Smart:
parasol shared great stories about running a summer camp
Funny: whatsupchuck got a hurt paw as a wee cub

CSB [Cool Story, Bro] Sunday Morning is a thread for Farkers to share true stories from their own lives based on a weekly topic. If you have a topic idea for a CSB Sunday Morning thread, please contact Farkback ahead of time, or just submit it on Saturday afternoon/evening. If you're posting an intro, you'll want to write it out first so you can copy and paste it in for the Boobies. Please note: While submitted CSB Sunday Morning threads have a high likelihood of being greenlit, there is no guarantee they will be. 

TotalFark Discussion:
Note: This section can only be accessed by TotalFarkers  
Funny: JerseyTim showed up to appreciate myschief's new fence
Smart: Butterflew shared photos of little Baloo (there are lots of great photos in this thread)
Smart: The Headless Horseman's Headless Horse grew a patio
Smart: Eclectic shared an opinion on the protests happening in response to the killing of George Floyd
Smart: IvyLady pointed out the first sign that Gaston was indeed the bad guy
Smart: Badafuco updated us on the basics
Smart: brap went to a party

Politics Funny:
Tannhauser had a sad realization about MAGA
arrogantbastich had a mild reaction to having been beaten to a joke
cretinbob took a guess at why Donald Trump's posture is so strange
Devolving_Spud knew how to mess with "poll watchers" recruited by Republicans to challenge people's right to vote
FlyingFarmer challenged the rumor that Donald Trump murdered Carolyn Gombell in 2000

Politics Smart:
shadow01 thought that there's a flaw in the Republican poll watcher plan
markie_farkie argued that Twitter took the right approach in handling one of Trump's tweets
My Sober Alt compared opinions about 100,000 Americans dead from COVID-19
pkjun talked about how to help the economy recover
Lambskincoat noted the most important thing about Trump's attack on social media


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba knew what all Farkers should have on their faces
PSpsychopath showed that Trump is being resourceful when it comes to virus protection
Yammering_Splat_Vector found out where that missing tomato ended up
#2 created a mask made out of the finest jewelry
DisseminationMonkey designed some protection for when people get all up in your grill
hail2daking scooted over for some social un-distancing
Alligator wasn't impressed by all your coughing
Yammering_Splat_Vector dressed up this little duckface
Large Marge sent me could tell that these guys were way too hot
verchad made a little something for the athletic supporter in your life
hail2daking showed us what comes from forbidden love

Fartist Friday:
Ldrtchbrd won Recreate a movie poster with a poster for a fun summer beach movie

We'll be taking a break from Fartist Friday this week, but it will return next week.

About Fartist Friday:

Fartist Friday is a weekly contest to help keep you entertained by giving you a way to show off your artistic skills - or lack thereof - during this time of social distancing. The winners of the Fartist Friday contests will be named in the following Fark NotNewsletter, where we'll also announce the theme for the next contest. Fartist Friday contests will be submitted Thursdays and will show up on Fark's main page on Fridays, and will close to both comments and voting at the end of the day (midnight Eastern) on Sundays. All times are approximate because we're all drunk. We're asking each person to limit their entries to three per contest. We might change things up depending on feedback. Please contact Farkback to let us know what you think, and feel free to submit your own Fartist Friday ideas.

Farktography:
Earguy won Farktography Contest No. 786: "Squares 4" with a stairway to somewhere

Farktography is Fark's weekly photography contest. If you would like to suggest a Farktography theme, please contact Elsinore.
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