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Fark NotNewsletter: August fearmongerama
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-08-17 2:03:56 PM, edited 2022-08-17 2:06:12 PM (26 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

This week's news cycle has gone full bore fearmongering - the old fashioned kind I mean, before 2016.  Nuclear war, drought, polio, shark attacks, and bears, oh my.  It feels like I've warped back to the summer of 2001 somehow.  I suspect it probably has something to do with the fact that most mainstream media outlets are based in cities that clear out during August, a tradition that goes back hundreds of years both here and in Europe.  It used to happen so folks could avoid cholera outbreaks and other pestilence, now it happens because folks just never stopped doing it.  I suspect August and fearmongering are linked because these are the types of stories that can be written well in advance and kept on hold until the news cycle slows or everyone goes on vacation.  Speaking of which, sometime next week AAA should pop up and tell us that there will be traffic over Labor Day, like they do every year (except 2020).

4 p.m. Eastern Thursday it's the Fark News Livestream with Christine, Dill, me, and BadAstronomer Phil Plait!  Lucky's out with work again (congrats!) so Phil's gonna step in and just make stuff up as we go, just like every week.   While I don't have any new updates on the JFK QAnon cult, I do have a couple on a tangentially related story involving the Queen of Canada.  She got a quick mention a few months ago, turns out she's been up to stuff, we'll get into what and why.  I haven't cut down the story pile yet but I see a lot of weird food-related stuff and some public nudity, awesome science news, and I'm going to go ahead and call it: I think Pete Davidson is dating Martha Stewart.  Join us, it'll be weird!
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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
TaDu speculated about why some people get upset over criticism of chiropractic adjustments
khitsicker knew what someone did wrong when labeling pipes under a Louisville bus stop "bomb 1" and "bomb 2"
NeoCortex42 predicted a future headline we could've had about a 60-ton swimming pool someone put on a roof in NYC
Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle corrected a foul joke
ThomasPaineTrain shared the recipe for "hot lemonade"
JerseyTim pointed out something unfortunate about the original cast of "The Wonder Years"
Dave and the Mission shared a behind-the-scenes tale about "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
malle-herbert was sad to love Olivia Newton-John
Billy Liar told us about inheriting a cast-iron skillet
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That paid tribute to Phoebe Cates

Smart:
khitsicker knew what someone did wrong when labeling pipes under a Louisville bus stop "bomb 1" and "bomb 2"
markie_farkie shared a personal story about how important organ donation is
ChrisDe discussed Olivia Newton-John's long battle with cancer
twonky looked at the story of where chiropractic came from
hardinparamedic suggested another kind of help if you're considering seeing a chiropractor
Cerebral Knievel showed off a very good dog who happens to be a Carolina dog like the one in the "Predator" prequel, "Prey"
Lady J told us about a TV program that sounds like it was both very good and terrible

CSB Sunday Morning themeThe oddest museum you've ever visited
SmartArtist stalked an art collection around Philadelphia
Funnylonomoholo learned a lot at the Creation Museum

Politics Funny:
fnordfocus told us when Donald Trump will share all the information about what the FBI found during their search of Mar-a-Lago
Palined Parenthood knew what should be done about Trump's legal issues
GardenWeasel revealed Trump's current title
Mr. Coffee Nerves let us know how to get more information about exactly what the FBI took from Mar-a-Lago
Circle Girl figured the FBI probably needed help accessing some of the documents Trump took

Politics Smart:
eurotrader pointed out that Trump was admitting to criming
scottydoesntknow interpreted Attorney General Merrick Garland's statement on the search of Mar-a-Lago
eurotrader thought there was a particular reason why Republicans stepped up to defend Trump keeping classified materials involving nuclear weapons
somedude210 believed that there are some things you can't easily do accidentally
Gonz discussed the kind of secure facility some of the materials that Trump had would've come out of


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba showed us why banana peels are so dangerous
Yammering_Splat_Vector came across a group of people taking way too long in the crosswalk
samsquatch miscounted when packing the parachutes
Snubnose needed a catcher's mitt for these balls
artifishy revealed to us that the colonization has begun
samsquatch prepared the patient for the very first CAT scan
Yammering_Splat_Vector fixed a sculpture that the artist forgot to paint
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed an environmentally conscious hat for the pope
RedZoneTuba created an exciting new Kool-Aid flavor
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that Sophia Loren does not approve of costumed camels

Farktography themeSolo Subjects
This one ended in a tie between Lovesandwich's beach shack and inelegy's glaring gato


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Storm disrupts Mary Poppins Convention in Delaware

Millions of federal dollars are on the way to Washington State's ferry systems. Hopefully not by ferry, because it'll never get there

Grief is the word

No one fights like Gascon, protects rights like Gascon, when there are murderers no one indicts like Gascon

Warning: Water over roadway on I-265 in Kentucky

Wrong propeller bolts make propeller bolt

Warrant unsealed: Documents stealed, pardons dealed (PDF)

According to his agent, Salman Rushdie is on a ventilator and unable to speak. Thoughts and ummm... thoughts

Things are going so bad for the Reds that they had to resort to doing a hardcore corn shoot

Trigger warning: More "Rust" news

Trump's karma ran over his dogma

Reporter: What's actually working in Britain, today? Rees-Mogg: *cricket*

Mar-a-Lago to become nudist resort

On this day in history, the battle between the free market and racism was decided in a Wichita, Kansas drug store

Cats prefer to be with people who hate them. Based on my dating history, I must be a cat

Fish scales, fish scales, LEDs from fish scales. Fish scales, fish scales, light them up good

Progress on Lyme disease vaccine leaves spirochetes ticked off


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we learned that magnetic stripes are a tool of credit card thieves and chips are the only acceptable way to use one's bank card. On the Quiz itself, WoolyManwich came out on top with a whopping score of 1041, followed by Denjiro in second with 960 and princhester and coscausticevil tied for third with 940. sugaryvitamin made fourth with 938, and ProfessorTerguson rounds out the top five with 927.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Bangladeshi social media star Hero Alom. Only 26% of quiztakers caught the story about his run-in with the law when authorities happened upon his YouTube videos. He was arrested and questioned over the course of several hours about his impossibly bad and out-of-tune renditions of various songs, but what caught the most ire was his covers of songs by Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore and Bangladesh's national poet Kazi Nazrul Islam. He was forced to sign an "apology bond" and told never to be seen filming YouTube videos in the vicinity again. No word on picking up the garbage in the snow.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which critters folks are coming from all over to kill in the Florida Everglades. 90% of quiztakers knew about the annual Burmese Python hunt, where random humans from the US and Canada can live out their weird fantasies in hunting a deadly invasive species for the good of mankind. In other words. they gonna shoot some snakes for fun and profit,

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which band's tour group had their support staff's SUV catch fire in the middle of a Canadian highway on their way to a gig. Only 48% of quiztakers recognized "Let the Bad Times Roll" as the latest album from The Offspring. Luckily the RCMP was there and after apologizing profusely, gave them rides on their mooses to their gig in Quebec, where they were promptly fined for performing in English instead of French and ordered to change their name to Le Progéniture.  

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was also about musicians on tour. 89% of quiztakers remembered the time a driver of the tour bus for Dave Matthews Band saw fit to dump 500 pounds of raw sewage into the Chicago River, failing to realize the river is populated by tour boats that regularly pass under its iconic bridges, This led to the band no longer performing their 1998 song "Don't Drink the Water" and their driver to be on the lookout for parking spaces near storm drains. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Tell me about it, stud
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-08-10 1:30:39 PM (29 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Our kids go back to school tomorrow, so things are kinda hectic around the household today.  Kentucky schools start pretty early in order to sandbag extra snow days for use later.  Kentucky's far enough north that we've got snow removal equipment, but the terrain is pretty damn hilly, so it doesn't take a ton of snow to bork things up.  I'm fine with them going back early though.  It's not like they're missing out on any amazing August activities, especially since from now until November the daily forecast is always highs in the 80s, scattered thunderstorms.  I went for a bike ride this morning and it was so humid I could feel the water vapor hitting my skin.

Thursday at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with definitely Christine, Dill and me, and we'll get Lucky if his schedule pans out.  Just like last week, a ton of stuff has been flying under the radar, including beer for blood, the ongoing saga of the Batmobile debacle, and the story of how Spider-Man invented the ankle bracelet in 1977.  I don't remember that particular episode of "Electric Company," but then again I completely forgot the lollypop segment also.  I do remember Morgan Freeman though.
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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
ThomasPaineTrain told giantmeteor where one can find modern romance
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That reacted to the incredible news that Alex Jones saved someone's life while leaving the courthouse
Bootleg was glad that a real estate photographer's work did not go to waste
common sense is an oxymoron was not a fan of something that was reportedly included in the data from Alex Jones' phone
Farking Clown Shoes shared information about Dane Cook's engagement
Bootleg hoped for a surprising decision from the jury for Alex Jones' punitive damages
TheHighlandHowler shared an excellent story about purchasing a controlled substance
darkeyes knew what's next for a meteorologist who went wild when he discovered the monitor with the map on it had a touch screen
NateAsbestos beat Martin Shkreli's IQ test score
OdradekRex explained why drug stores are locking up Old Spice, Colgate and Dawn

Smart:
Thoreny expected Alex Jones to have to pay compensatory damages that would meet a particular threshold
Pocket Ninja discussed the practice of renting out places that were once slave quarters on Airbnb
Nintenfreak found one tiny problem with credit bureaus
phalamir shared stories about people in restaurants being really weird about who pays the check
OdradekRex priced out Oklahoma real estate
Dr. Horrible got to meet someone really cool
ImpendingCynic predicted the next calamity we'll face
bingethinker figured out how to work smarter, not harder

CSB Sunday Morning themeSummer cookouts
Smartingo threw a hail of a barbecue
FunnyFear the Clam learned to Fear the Corn

Politics Funny:
NewportBarGuy was shocked by just how bad things got for Alex Jones
sigdiamond2000 explained why the copy of everything from Jones' phone that his lawyer accidentally sent to the opposing lawyer can't legally be used against him
GeeksAreMyPeeps noticed something very suspicious about a congresswoman's death
Martian_Astronomer was prepared to do something drastic in reaction to messages between Roger Stone and Alex Jones
flucto was confused by the previous comment in the thread

Politics Smart:
markie_farkie shared what the lawyer representing parents of Sandy Hook victims said on hot mic during recess
AlgaeRancher listed some of President Biden's accomplishments
TuckFrump discussed religious objections
DrD'isInfotainment thought that Vladimir Putin's comments about the Russian and U.S. navies were silly
Raug the Dwarf gave a first-person account of what the polls looked like in Kansas


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
asstamassta fed Miley a pink manta ray
artifishy managed to make the Cheshire Cat even creepier
artifishy reminded us never to trust the canopy tent
EvaDewer decorated early for Christmas
whatsupchuck found out who let the dogs rats out
RedZoneTuba showed us someone who was unprepared for the job
RedZoneTuba kicked that football with enthusiasm
Yammering_Splat_Vector pointed out something unusual on a utility pole
artifishy revealed the true danger of motorsports
Yammering_Splat_Vector had Lucy hold the football

Farktography theme900-A Farktography Milestone
Lovesandwich helpfully reminded us that the safe move is the right move


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Marty the Zebra is missing in Missouri. If you come across a stray zebra, and it doesn't answer to Marty, that's the wrong one, so keep looking

First unionized Starbucks in Jacksonville holds hour-long strike. Locals unsure why the store doesn't want to join the Confederacy

Returning vacationer discovers her luggage wants to rock her like a hurricane

After 329 years, Massachusetts exonerates the last woman legally declared as a witch. When asked for a comment, the woman said she was glad to have her name cleared and has no idea where these witch rumors came from

While China tantrums and attacks the ocean, the largest ever joint military drills are being held between the US and Indonesia, including Japan bringing giant robots and Australia bringing a small box with something inside that's moving

The numbers are out, and the economy is so bad right now that it's almost impossible to be unemployed

See the latest trailer for the prequel series to the prequel movie to Star Wars: A New Hope

Achievement unlocked: Self Awareness at CPAC

Not raining, not pouring. Now ground beef is soaring. Their pasture's dead, and scientists said, "Shouldn't have ignored our warnings"

You're dancing naked on tables and faceplanting wrong

Food expo bans eating, citing lessons learned letting visitors try the products during last month's gunshow


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned that marketing people who expect prospective customers to make their ads for them aren't very good marketing people. Man Out Standing is our sole entrant to the 1000 club with a score of 1012, but unfortunately we used up all the jelly making fun of the "toast drop challenge" the promo people for "Luck" came up with. maddog2030 made second with 987. followed by WoolyManwich in third with 936, Captain Orr in fourth with 929, and bodegas in fifth with 923.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what you can do while waiting for your Tesla to charge at the Supercharger station in Hilden, Germany. Only 28% of quiztakers caught the article about Tesla bragging about their new "swimming pool", which appears to be a repurposed dumpster containing water that's about three feet deep. It looks like something my redneck neighbors would enjoy on summer evenings while sipping Coors Light and wondering why the mosquitoes are so bad this year. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new "Gatto Bianco" pop-up restaurant in New York City, 91% of quiztakers knew that it was a promotion for Fancy Feast cat food, where diners can enjoy dishes "inspired by" the brand's new "Medley" line. Personally, I feel like I'm missing the concept here, as I'd prefer my food to be as human-food-like as possible. As do most cats I've ever known - they'd rather have what you're having. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the Cleveland Zoo's new baby langur. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that a langur was a small monkey native to the Indian subcontinent. Fun fact: most subspecies of langur have red fur when they are born that changes to gray or black as they age and gain a soul.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which political activist claimed to be "Hunter Biden's cocaine dealer" when addressing a crowd during protests to get the PACT Act passed, which provides support for veterans dealing with health issues stemming from exposure to things like burn pits.  89% of quiztakers knew that former "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart made the remark to call attention to the fact that even people who didn't like him still saw the need for the bill to pass. The bill finally did pass on its third try and was signed into law this morning (Aug 10) by the President. 

If you missed out last week, now's a good time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: How the geek sausage is made
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-08-03 3:17:06 PM (42 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

We've had some weather here in Kentucky recently.  Where I live, we've gotten a lot of rain but not much flooding - I'm about 400 ft up and 10 miles away from river level.  In the southeastern part of the state though, it's pretty bad.  A friend of mine lives near Whitesburg, the creek running through the down usually has a depth of six feet.  Until last week the all time record flood level was 14 feet.  It hit 22 feet.  Unfortunately there's more rain in the forecast.

I don't have a great segue for this so I'll just wheel into another topic.

A question came up earlier today on TotalFark in a link about Tony Hawk showing up at the performance of a band that does live covers of music from Tony Hawk Pro Skaters.  Which is awesome in and of itself.  The question was, does this link go to Sports, Entertainment, or Fandom?

There's a ton of overlap between these three, and oftentimes when I can't tell I'll crosspost it.  The general rule for Fandom however is that it covers any topic that might appear at a comic con.  I know this doesn't clear things up entirely, because pro wrestling and classic car mania probably also qualifies.  But for example, anything Star Wars?  Fandom.  Comic books?  Fandom. Comic book business-related?  Crosspost to business and fandom.  I know the distinction is still fuzzy but hopefully this makes it less fuzzy.  Tl;dr some things are obviously one or the other, some things aren't, some things are both.

Thursday 4 at p.m. Eastern it's the return of the Fark News Livestream. We'll definitely me Christine and Dill, Lucky is a game time decision. Want to learn who else other than China we made mad last week? The answer probably won't surprise you but the event might because it went completely below the radar.  Amazing science news this week, plus a deep dive on Patrick, the Pony Mayor of Cockington. And whatever fresh hell we run into tomorrow. At the rate the Alex Jones trial is going, we'll have to touch on that as well.  Join us!
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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
xanadian figured out why reporter Mindy Basara hadn't returned after tweeting about a 100-mg THC gummy
ImpendingCynic explained how a fire in Dallas was able to cause so much destruction
bearded clamorer planned on cheating on this year's taxes
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That was ready to join... something that was happening in Texas
Naido knew what that strange group activity was meant to accomplish
phalamir defended a pharmacist who called a customer a demon and threatened to kill her
Combustion had alarmingly strong feelings about a morning news anchor
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That pointed out a clear preference for jokes on certain topics over others
markie_farkie said a little prayer for us
EvilEgg knew the mistake someone made that caused her to have such a high ambulance bill after a car accident

Smart:
Carter Pewterschmidt weighed in on a lawsuit claiming the U.S. Navy accidentally shot down TWA Flight 800 back in 1996
NeoCortex42 decided on the best amount to win in the lottery
heymonkees wondered if a shooter who targeted unhoused people in the Vancouver, Canada area was influenced by a certain American idiot
bearded clamorer knew the main reason to build a house with a tree growing through it
Azz had advice in case you're a billionaire whose billionaire friend had sex with your wife
Munden had a suggestion if Apple wants people to stop putting cases on their iPhones
Mr. Coffee Nerves imagined "Saturday Night Live" continuing after Lorne Michaels retires

CSB Sunday Morning themeSummer remodeling/renovation stories
Smarthubiestubert fixed up a house for physical therapy after nearly dying
FunnyTeddy Brosevelt ruined Independence Day

Politics Funny:
Notabunny gave more information about the new U.S. political party being formed by Andrew Yang and Christine Todd Whitman
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That demonstrated what Donald Trump admits he wanted to do as president
Marcus Aurelius could get a job making weapons in Russia
duppy found a savage attack by Google
Albino Squid commented about how bad it was that Mark McCloskey's campaign tried to make it look like Vanilla Ice and the Ying Yang Twins supported him

Politics Smart:
Bootleg explained why Trump would never have considered allowing one of his offspring to have their wedding at the White House
shastacola took a guess at why a "young queer conservative" was a Republican for so long
HighOnCraic figured it might be useful to read the articles you link to
no1curr made a prediction of what could happen if China invades Taiwan
Bootleg fleshed out Trump's plan to put unhoused people in tents on "large parcels of inexpensive land in the outer reaches of the cities"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
artifishy gave us hose gone wild
artifishy could only hope for the animator to have a heart attack
Yammering_Splat_Vector lit the Bat-Signal
RedZoneTuba farted in our general direction
artifishy showed us what a youthful spirit might look like
Yammering_Splat_Vector invited us over to put on Zeppelin and eat cheddar cheese
Yammering_Splat_Vector found someone who was quite moved by a replica memorial
noazark spotted the nope goats
Yammering_Splat_Vector something something Spirit Airlines
whatsupchuck captured Steve Bannon's essence

Farktography themeFestivals and Festivities
Elsinore snapped a Pride Parade personal portrait


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

On this day in history, in 1956, there were two ships off of Nantucket. One should have turned

ERs on the brink, UMs, UHs, and AHs precarious

Dating app for anti-vaxxers turns out to lack protection

Milli Violinni

Uvalde City Council to investigate every city officer who responded to school massacre, which shouldn't take long since almost none of them actually did

Well, that'll chap your ass: judge blocks applying sunscreen to Butte

Dow drops for second day in a row

More missing J6 texts. This time from Trump's Homeland Security head and Deputy Secretary. There's more cover up in Trump's admin than on his face

Hundreds of tourists visit Iraqi parliament

Faulty cartridges powering ejection seats have grounded hundreds of F-35s. Expected fix is to remove cartridges, blow on them, and reinsert


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where three Farkers made the 1000 club and will be presenting essays on herpetology from three distinct regions within North America. VooDoo_Blonde came out on top with 1028, followed by runwiz in second with 1021 and Denjiro in third with 1010. Tailspin Tommy made fourth with 993, and freakingmoron rounds out the top five with 991. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which artist was the first to receive the free T-shirt from Spotify to commemorate passing 100 million followers. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that it was the soulless ginger leprechaun known as Ed Sheeran. Full disclosure: I've actually seen him in concert, and he's rather talented, if not exactly my cup of tea music-wise. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the eerie pink glow that people noticed in the skies above Mildura, a town in Victoria, Australia. 84% of quiztakers knew that glow was caused by the grow lights at a local cannabis farm. The medical marijuana operation is legal and operated by the government, but to keep its location secret (to deter theft), shutters are supposed to be activated at night to hide the glow lights, and they appear to have failed to operate as intended. Maybe once it's legal there they'll leave them open all the time for the townsfolk to say "Whoa."

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which artist helped Elton John re-record his hit "Tiny Dancer" last week. Only 39% of quiztakers recognized that Britney Spears was still spending a good amount of her newly emancipated time working on her career. FWIW, Christina Aguilera has released two studio albums since Spears' last one, the latest being this year's "Aguilera." 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about fruit varieties. 98% of quiztakers recognized Clementines, Mandarins, and Satsumas as varieties of oranges. I think they're also Marvel villains, but that wasn't in the article. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: ♫ Coughing on a jet plane, please cover up your face again ♫
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-07-27 2:40:20 PM (53 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

No Fark News Livestream this week!  I got caught in air travel hell the past two days, so I didn't get a chance to start on material until today.  However this is great news for next week as I'll have a couple extra days in the hopper.

Speaking of air travel hell, I hadn't traveled in three years before last week.  I almost forgot entirely how to do it.  I'd also heard all the stories about how hellish airports have been. Turns out I got really lucky on the way out and had zero problems.  On the way back, however, pretty much everything turned upside down.  Airline had only two check-in folks, plane got cancelled after a long wait, had to do it all again a second day. They tried to claim it was mechanical, but I'm suspicious about that because 1) I didn't see anyone working on the plane, and 2) there were no pilots either.  But whatever, it was a good trip. Beat the hell out of driving.  I will say though the number of unmasked people having coughing fits literally everywhere was very unnerving.  Looks like COVID tests for the rest of the week for me.   To my knowledge I haven't had COVID yet. If this last weekend didn't give it to me, I don't know what would.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Bootleg gave us the truth about a brawl that broke out at a San Antonio River Walk restaurant just in time for a full tour boat to witness it
Karma Chameleon was upset about one movie's inclusion on a list of films with the best opening scenes
Feel_the_velvet found an older photo of a very bulbous house
Harry Freakstorm pointed out that markie_farkie didn't speak for everyone when it came to an explosion and fire at the Hoover Dam
BigMax offered to help when there was an explosion in the garage of powhound's childhood home
Prank Call of Cthulhu asked us out on an LDS date
NobleHam discovered a hidden benefit for the buyer of a corpulent house that's for sale
iheartscotch got in trouble with the people who are trying to reach you about your car's warranty
Mr. Coffee Nerves figured out some surprising information about a lot of coworkers
Hey Nurse! knew the real cause of the Hoover Dam fire

Smart:
Pocket Ninja shared a clever and unique life hack
Martian_Astronomer figured it's best to keep things in perspective when setting your thermostat
Elliot8654 looked at what happens when you have few restrictions on guns
snocone explained why it's a good idea for a school district to require students use clear backpacks
chewd let us know which type of lottery players we don't want to wait behind
NeoCortex42 named two inimitable musicians

CSB Sunday Morning themeBicycle stories
SmartWinterlight's wildest dreams came true
FunnyCafe Threads figured out this one weird trick for getting a kid to stop looking at their front tire

Politics Funny:
Jesus McSordid wished Alex Jones had been right about the plan
wademh showed us the one text message turned over by the Secret Service for the investigation into January 6
HighOnCraic described how other Democrats could campaign more like John Fetterman
clintster figured out why some asshat who was upset that PetSmart had a rainbow flag claimed it's used by groomers
Shostie provided the only answer you should ever give if strangers come to your home asking how you voted in the 2020 election

Politics Smart:
markie_farkie took some guesses at what the Secret Service could be hiding
NewportBarGuy discussed our devolution
Felgraf felt that women having miscarriages being made to suffer more because of anti-abortion laws is a symptom of something larger
hubiestubert looked at a conservative group that's attempting to take over school boards
Rene ala Carte made some predictions about the future


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba created a video game set in an oppressive theocracy
samsquatch found out there can be only one figurine
noazark was ready to fight some stars
RedZoneTuba had Pooty-Poot model some fashionable sunglasses
noazark created a racing game
RedZoneTuba showed us that Leonardo DiCaprio is surprisingly fast
noazark knew how Yul get your laundry really Clean
noazark had the wrong chess pieces
RedZoneTuba restored this classic self portrait
Wrongo spotted hecklers at the ballet

Farktography themeWindows on the World
This Farktography ended in a tie with a curious pup from Herb Utsmelz and an Irish sunrise from SoupGuru


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Our house, in the middle of the street

P.E.I.-N.S. ferry evacuated after fire, causing dyslexic Farkers a good giggle or two

Critically endangered ugly-ass baby Addax makes debut at zoo. Next stop, Wordle

Eleanor Red Deer picks at the sparse fields where none of the other deer graze. Lives out her days

"Covid's still going strong in this rumble, but Monkeypox looks to be going for a steel chair and-Wait, is that? BY GAWD THAT'S POLIO'S MUSIC"

I think we have found Patient Zero

Teenage Mutant Weather Turtles

Breaking Bat

The show's been off the air for a decade but they're still trying to kill Jack Bauer

Ooooooooooh, who lives in a multiverse under the sea?

John Scalzi has been left unsupervised in the kitchen. Run for your lives

"Three new species of black-bellied salamander found in southern Appalachian Mountains." That's the newts, stay tuned for the weather and sports

Fitbit for cows? I LIKE TO MOOVE IT, MOOVE IT


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, although it looks like it was a little on the hard side. No one made it to the 1000 club, which means I get all the maple bacon ice cream to myself. englaja came out on top with 916, followed by seelorq in second with 914 and bud jones in third with 912. opalakea made fourth with 906, and Denjiro rounds out the top five with 896,

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which London airport was forced to close due to the high temperatures literally causing the runways to melt. Only 14% of quiztakers knew that Luton in the north of London suffered this indignity. It seems that continuously delayed plans for lengthening the runway over the last few decades have resulted in continuously delayed necessary maintenance and updating of the runway materials. Personally, I blame Brexit. 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about where you could find the mountain that apparently now four people have felt the need to push a peanut to the summit of using only their noses. 93% of quiztakers knew that Pikes Peak was in Colorado, just a bit outside of Colorado Springs. Personally, I think it's a cheap victory - after all, a peanut isn't going to roll back down very far if you miss it with a nose prod. Maybe try a marble or something if you want to impress people. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the official national drink of Canada. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a snow cone with maple syrup, but a beverage called a Caesar. Only 54% of quiztakers knew that a Caesar was similar to a Bloody Mary, but with added clam juice. I'm not sure who in Canada is juicing clams, but I imagine their wives don't let them into the igloo until they've had a shower.

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the definition of the word "finicky." It seems that 97% of quiztakers have experience with toddlers and/or cats, as they knew that finicky means "very particular in standards or tastes." Never mind these are critters who just ate crayons or insects, they are quite particular about their brand of canned food and can identify the difference between store brand and Chef Boyardee/Fancy Feast by the sound of the can opener. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Holy twerking Satan!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-07-20 1:52:54 PM, edited 2022-07-20 1:53:51 PM (47 comments) | Permalink

It's stupid hot! If you're in a heat-wavy area, try to stay cool and hydrated, and how about let's post cute animals cooling the Fark down in the Fark NotNewsletter thread. I don't know about you, but I could use some cuteness and coolness today.

Meanwhile, the Drewster is away this week, so no NotNewsletter message from him today, and the Fark News Livestream will take the week off as well. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
KangTheMad revealed the fate of someone who took a close-up video of an avalanche
farkingismybusiness figured out what caused that avalanche
Hyjamon showed us what was really coming after those tourists
Chabash was amazed at the power of "Enter Sandman"
Naido experienced a strong reaction to a video that features a starfish
Naido shared the scientific explanation behind a glacier collapse in Kyrgyzstan
Karma Chameleon was shocked by the reason a skydiver crashed on a warehouse roof
bughunter commented on the attitude that made a judge think he could just whip out his gun and point it at an attorney during a hearing
cocozilla shared a story about landing on Rob Zombie and Sheri Moon Zombie
foo monkey explained why judges are rarely put on trial

Smart:
MathProf was harboring a wayward skydiver
Gyrfalcon spoke from professional experience about why none of the cops who were standing around during the school shooting in Uvalde just stepped up and took charge
NeoCortex42 wondered why one of the claims of the Uvalde police wasn't debunked sooner
Xcott discussed getting excited about lawsuits because of "discovery"
leviosaurus explained why California's water troubles aren't just a matter of golf courses in the desert
scottydoesntknow enjoyed seeing rich people picking a fight with someone their own size
leviosaurus gave us more information about "You Oughta Know"
Combustion said something about baseball and shifting, idk

CSB Sunday Morning themeSomething you didn't understand until later
SmartAuntie Cheesus also had aunties
Funnyingo had Florida kid problems and a sister who liked baseball

Politics Funny:
NewportBarGuy was upset about the death of Ivana Trump
Chariset felt like singing about leaked audio of Steve Bannon
khitsicker found someone to blame for Ivana Trump's death
HugeMistake had a question about the possibility of a second series of January 6 committee hearings
tintar figured out where refurbished government computers that will be given to veterans, seniors and students came from

Politics Smart:
austerity101 saw genius behind John Fetterman's shiatposting
Maybe you should drive revealed what it's like to live in a communist paradise
Benevolent Misanthrope figured that a politician who figured that a woman's uterus doesn't belong to her might have his sights set on another body part next
GardenWeasel cited the penalty a hospital faces if they let a patient die rather than performing a life-saving abortion
EvilEgg sensed a strange misconception about abortion


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
It's a good thing Jackie isn't around to see noazark's Photoshop
RedZoneTuba held up a drive-thru
noazark was looking out for Phoebe
bugdozer bought this cat's iconic record
Yammering_Splat_Vector colorized Marilyn
RedZoneTuba had a visit from a cousin
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this kitty a subtle makeover
noazark showed us how to really train a cat
whatsupchuck helped someone slip into something a little more comfortable
RedZoneTuba found the perfect ball for this bat

Farktography themeStill Life 3
kittyhas1000legsfruit was full of fiber


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

ERCOT issues warning for possible rolling blackouts on Monday. There were past opportunities to connect the power grid to the American and Mexican Pavilions, but the Texas Pavilion loudly insisted on individual ruggedness

Stormfront strikes DC, causing massive property damage and disrupting transfer of power. This is not a repeat from Jan. 6, 2021, but TFG's staffers plead the Fifth out of habit

Isn't this what the gig economy is all about - doing small tasks, so other people don't have to?

Trump dead

You have died of dysentery

*unable to golf clap*

Soprano, rightly offended that an Italian opera production is using blackface, leaves the cast before the ending of th

Well look who took their name a little too seriously

A Rabbi, Buddhist, and Unitarian challenge a bar on abortion

CPI hits 9.1% but he wasn't my favorite Star Wars droid in the first place

Greet your guests with a mouthful of pickles

BepiColombo started to leave, but then turned around. "Just one more thing"

Surgeons successfully transplant pig hearts into dead humans. Honestly, that doesn't sound too difficult

Amazon's Ring gave record amount of footage to government in 2021. The precious data. They wants it. They needs it, precious

The activation mechanism of flaviviruses has been identified BOYEEEEEE


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)


Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where we're still not sure just who is and who isn't human, and it seems modern CAPTCHA does more to frustrate users than to counter bots. On the Quiz itself, WoolyManwich came out on top with 1035, followed by scrumpox in second with 989 and Denjiro in third with 980. Hassan Ben Sobr made fourth with 931, and No Catchy Nickname rounds out the top five with 923.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Barbie and the new additions to the ever-expanding line of impossibly-proportioned dolls. Only 49% of quiztakers knew that as part of their new "Eco-Leadership Team" Career Barbie line, the folks at Mattel have also introduced a tribute to conservationist Jane Goodall. Unfortunately they chose not to include a chimpanzee accessory, but we all know it would have been stolen by little brothers to use in their GI Joe action figure scenarios anyway. Because a chimpanzee wreaking havoc in Cobra Commander's lair would be freakin' awesome. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of "postulate". 96% of quiztakers knew that it was to assume something is true for the purposes of initiating a discussion, and not when you realize you forgot to RSVP for the wedding and have to send it next-day mail. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which video game series was getting a third installment. Only 48% of quiztakers knew that the series about the gun-wielding, glasses-wearing witch with the magic hair was called "Bayonetta". Which yeah, it's kind of weird to name her after a sword when she carries guns, but whatever. It's video games.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Chris Hemsworth and filming "Thor: Love and Thunder". 92% of quiztakers knew that the actor abstained from meat on the day he was filming a scene where he and co-star Natalie Portman kissed, as she is vegan and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I'm guessing from his build that there are a whole slew of barnyard animals that are hoping they might get involved in a much longer-term relationship. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be back with more on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: I fell into Mount Vesuvius and all I got was a burnt ash
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-07-13 3:18:13 PM (40 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

I play trivia on Wednesdays at a local bar that has a huge-ass patio setup.  Given my day job, it's my responsibility to come up with a current events-related team name every week.  The trick is picking something that everyone's heard of, which lately has been nothing.  I mean, I've seen everything, you've probably seen most stuff on Fark, but a news story really has to hit the zeitgeist before the average joe hears about it.  I usually measure viral spread by the number of people who send me a link to a particular story.  If it's a lot, then I know it's spread far and wide.

This week the story has been about the American tourist who fell into Mount Vesuvius.  Aside from the angry god sacrifice angle, I'd like to point out a particular detail that is unusual.  Most people who send me the story haven't read the whole thing and think the guy just fell into the volcano taking a selfie.  The actual sequence of events is a little different.  The man and "some family members" took a forbidden trail to reach the top of the volcano.  I don't know if this is a mistranslation or not but that's like saying a robber broke into a forbidden house, I think maybe forbidden is the wrong adjective to use.  Anyhow, the guy takes a selfie at the top, then drops his phone into the volcano. He could have just let it go, but apparently his next thought was to jump in there and retrieve the phone.  Perhaps he even consulted with his family members as to whether or not he should do this.  I guess either he didn't ask, they had no opinion, or they told him to go for it, because he decided to jump into the volcano to get his phone.  It gets dumber the more I think about it.  Anyhow, thought I'd share that because some version of "let it go man, it's gone" is going to be our trivia team name tonight.  If you've got any better suggestions, I'm all ears. The Fark hive mind is likely capable of much much more than I am.

Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's PROBABLY the Fark News Livestream.  I say probably because I'm attempting to fly back home from visiting relatives today and, as you may have heard, air travel is pretty sketchy right now.  I don't know anyone who hasn't had connection problems, and if I manage to make it home without difficulty I'll be the only person I know who's had that happen this summer.  So, if I do get back home, we'll have a livestream!  If not, so it goes.  If we do, I've got a giant pile of material to work with. We'll have the return of the Rabbit Hole segment, this time having to do with songs we all learned in kindergarten that turned out to be racist or worse.  Also for some reason NYC is bracing for a nuclear attack, noodling to summon Bigfoot, Doomception, and a dog that looks exactly like Richard Branson.  Or I may cut all these and go with other stuff, although I'm pretty sure noodling Bigfoot will make the cut.  And probably racist kindergarten songs unless Heather tells me it's not as funny as I think it is.  Which happens.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Demetrius took a guess at why there was smoke coming from Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium
Ker_Thwap thought that an article about the murder of a trophy hunter needed to be more balanced
W_Scarlet was very helpful in a discussion about a man who died after eating spaghetti that had sat on the counter for five days
grokca stuck up for Paul Rudd when Lsherm complained about him
Vazz figured out who was behind an article about a man dying from food poisoning
stilted reacted to photos of Polish people cosplaying Americans celebrating July Fourth
Rage Against the Thorazine sang a patriotic song in honor of a video showing idiots exploding their van with fireworks
HeathenHealer gave us an update on a derecho that was expected to hit several Midwestern states
foo monkey shared with us a foolproof method to understanding complicated scientific concepts
Mad Scientist told us about parent-taught courses in "adulting"

Smart:
damageddude knew what you should do if you get in trouble for parking in your own driveway
TelemonianAjax ranted hard about advertisements
hermit gave Boeing's 737 MAX a devastating review
Dryad wasn't about to stand by and let someone think Elon Musk deserves credit for something
Hey Nurse! discussed modern-day Reefer Madness hysteria
Russ1642 wanted to know how they managed to wipe up the River Thames
Colour_out_of_Space brutally attacked a mouse in front of everyone
AtomPeepers had advice for Elon Musk

CSB Sunday Morning themeYour first computer
SmartNotCodger made a computer out of metal and brawn
Funnyoa330_man never met COBOL. COBOL just fetched coffee

Politics Funny:
HighOnCraic proved Donald Trump is still winning
Pocket Ninja revealed the contents of the latest Antifa newsletter
Pocket Ninja was upset by New York Post's article about Nancy Pelosi's vacation at a seaside resort
no1curr knew how to cut costs as a small business owner
johnryan51 explained why Trump was in mourning

Politics Smart:
bloobeary felt sorry for someone whose restaurant visit became the scene of a protest
cretinbob offered an interpretation of the Second Amendment
NeoCortex42 thought people keep voting for the opposite of what they think they're voting for
nmrsnr examined some arguments against gun control
Pocket Ninja analyzed the true intent of some proposals to teach "both sides" of historical events


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Eat The Placenta proved that this wasn't actually a CT scan of a hammerhead shark
bugdozer showed us Admiral Ackbar after a cartoon anvil fell on his head
noazark had some trouble with the Ark
noazark bared these kitties' souls
bugdozer was expecting a cetacean ovation
noazark might've had better luck going to Stooges Dentistry instead
Yammering_Splat_Vector revealed our lovely model's previous look
noazark turned a water lily into a space lily
bugdozer ran a very important experiment
bugdozer discovered a rodent got into the mustard

Farktography themeAmphibians and Reptiles
beerrun snapped a very cute snake that seems to be posing for its portrait


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top Fark headlines from last week

Virus suspected in deaths of I.E. donkeys. Upgrade your ass to Edge

Give this cetacean oration translation mechanization creation illustration a transformation

As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

Q: How do you fire a human cannonball in Wales? A: Caerphilly. Or not, as in this case

Does Tesla manufacture Elon's condoms, too?

Abe shot. This is not a repeat from 1865

Elon Musk pulls out for once

The U.S. may be losing the fight against monkeypox. Also, the fight against gun violence. And theocracy. And misogyny. And white supremacy. Also misinformation, corporate corruption, climate change, crumbling infrastructure, and I'm running out of ch

Jesus joins Gunners. This is not commentary on America

James Caan't

I don't see "the right to eat peacefully" anywhere in the Constitution, Justice Beerbro

KFC close to sale which would culminate in company's exit from Russia. Deal reportedly taking so long because potential Russian replacements for Colonel Sanders keep getting blown up in Ukraine

A German language newspaper based in Philadelphia was the first to report on the existence of a "Declaration of Independence." It did so with one, 200-letter, omnisyllabic word

Grilling boom expected to continue. Well, that's what happens when you use too much lighter fluid

Underground pitcher is catcher

Pennsylvania Game Commission considering reintroduction of the American marten, which is like the European marten except it doesn't understand the metric system and calls football soccer

Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another great time on the Quiz last week, although it proved to be a little more difficult for many. Many, but not all, as Hassan Ben Sobr aced it with a score of 1016. shroomgirl34 made second with a score of 981, followed by Denjiro in third with 946. wearsmanyhats made fourth with 927, and edmo made the top five with 923.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which airline showed us the power of unions when they granted their pilots an across-the-board raise of 16.9%. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that the world's largest passenger airline in terms of fleet size and passengers carried was American Airlines. Interestingly, American's newest slogan is "you are why we fly". I mean, yeah, they don't exactly fly around their planes without passengers very often.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which pop star was renting out her 1986 tour bus for $10,000 for a two-night stay. 92% of quiztakers knew it was Dolly Parton, whose tour bus sits smack dab in the middle of her Dollywood theme park, and is not exactly my first choice for someplace to get some sleep. I can't find any information on how much extra it costs to get the true "tour" experience by having a guy drive the bus around all night while roadies smoke weed and make noise outside the bedroom door. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which action star just had his 76th birthday. Only 53% of quiztakers knew that Sylvester Stallone has been nominated for no less than three Oscars, one for writing the first "Rocky" (yes, he wrote it!) and one for acting in it, and the third for supporting actor in "Creed". Kurt Russel has not received a single nomination, and is only 71. So there's still time, I guess.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of the word "teem". 97% of quiztakers knew that it meant to be full of something or abundant with, such as the eels in my hovercraft. 

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and look for a new one on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Rocket man, crashing on the moon up here alone
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-07-06 1:03:29 PM (38 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

We've had a couple short work weeks this summer already, yet for some reason I find myself scrambling during this one.  I think it's the combination of a serious news cycle plus extra stuff all hitting at once.  Also on that note, no livestream this week due to all of the above.  Back next week with more ridiculousness.

Next week, however, should be awesome - we've got the first James Webb pics coming out July 12th.  NASA has said that they plan to show an extremely old galaxy and an exoplanet among other things. Early reports on the pics said that a NASA scientist who saw them already literally burst into tears.  Sounds compelling.  In other space news, no one has taken credit for crashing a rocket into the moon last week.  Also China is denying they plan to take over the moon.  On that note, I am also denying that I am planning to take over the moon.  Seems like a lot of work.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
johnryan51 was ready to mingle
bostonguy felt personally attacked
LordOfThePings discussed the deadliest gases
studebaker hoch warned about a dangerous practice that's happening in a lot of bars
common sense is an oxymoron asked a question about special soap for washing "men's intimate area"
jbc expressed a preference for big ones
Russ1642 told us what happened just before a bison nearly trampled a toddler
Hey Nurse! asked a question about AirDropping photos
KodosZardoz had a reason for not caring about the "mile-high club"
tasteme figured out the catch in SergeantObvious' offer

Smart:
mrmopar5287 discussed what could have killed almost two dozen young people in a South African tavern
Tyrosine came to bury Sonny Barger, not to praise him
Private_Citizen explained what caused a brake failure when a YouTuber replaced the brakes in his Tesla
covfefe added a caveat about preferences and dealbreakers
foxy_canuck shared expert information about everything you ever wanted to know about alpaca farming but were afraid to ask (with a bonus cute photo)
FrancoFile pointed out how things made more sense during the Stone Age
AnotherBluesStringer shared a story about meeting a wild and crazy guy
hubiestubert shared a general impression of "Ms. Marvel"

CSB Sunday Morning themeIndependence Day adventures
SmartRagin' Asian remembered Lola's Great Adventures
Funnyingo's choir had one interesting song choice for July Fourth

Politics Funny:
Nailed to the perch knew something about the canary in the coal mine
mrshowrules pointed out how we know for sure that COVID-19 vaccines were not made with cells from "aborted children"
BizarreMan knew exactly why Republicans don't want to talk about Roe v. Wade anymore
LeoffDaGrate gave several reasons why we shouldn't believe Cassidy Hutchinson's testimony
SpectroBoy exposed a Russian general's Fark handle

Politics Smart:
demaL-demaL-yeH listed some reasons why the Christian Right has been able to win in court while most Americans disagree with them
bostonguy discussed the type of person who is likely to be influenced by racist and sexist ideas
DoBeDoBeDo added to demaL-demaL-yeH's list
NewportBarGuy suggested a strategy change for the Democratic Party
giantmeteor put us in the mind of a Secret Service agent


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
samsquatch built a custom latte machine
Stephen_Falken showed us Space Force's first big mission
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered that every group of tourists recreates this photo
Wrongo found the very last place left to park the car
Snubnose hired some math tutors
Eat The Placenta erectored some tables and chairs
stickindamud found this rocket engine in a galaxy far, far away
whatsupchuck's car was commandeered by the government
samsquatch had clear cat-based priorities
RedZoneTuba figured out that dickbutt

Farktography themeSummertime and the Livin' is Easy
Nuclear Monk caught a big splash at the beach


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

BART derailed due to heat. Ay caramba

On this day in history, in 2007, the Bald Eagle was removed from the list of threatened species due to massive wildlife rehabilitation efforts and significant progress in the science of developing small hairpieces for eagles

On this day in history, in 1914, Austria's Archduke Franz Ferdinand released the hit single "take me out"

Instead of reaching both the North and South Rims during their visits, some are forced to remain perched on the edge of a far smaller basin

Man in Gimp suit terrorizes neighborhood again, probably because he's significantly inferior to man in Photoshop suit despite being free and open source

Edmonton sports writer trolls the NSA by triggering their algorithms all day

Woody Allen eyes retirement, preteens

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down, of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee. The buffet, it is said, never refreshes her spread, when the smells of norovirus turn gloomy

♪To dream the impossible dream... To find an assumable loan... To find a down payment and borrow... And to buy an affordable home...♪

🎵Does your truck drive slow?/Does it stop and does it go?/Do you drive it when it's hot?/Are your wares as cold as snow?/Aurora (a town that's near Boulder)/Will soon welcome you right over/Does your truck drive slow?🎵

Scientist denies opening portals into parallel universes. His twin brother nods in agreement, stroking his goatee


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we determined that Patsy Baloney is a middle-aged church lady from 1975. On the Quiz itself, no one made it into the 1000 club which means I get to finish off my 4th of July grilled ribs on my own. freakingmoron came out on top with 982. followed by jaycharms in second with 938 and Denjiro in third with 932. ryebread made fourth with 919, and TheMothership and maumau the flakcatcher tied for fifth with 909. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about ube, Only 31% of quiztakers recognized the name of the purple-colored tuber commonly seen in Asian cuisine, especially in the Philippines. I'm giving it about another two weeks before some startup snags the name for their new streaming service featuring Rob Schneider movies and reruns of Degrassi Junior High. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about LGBT+ rights in the US. 77% of Quiztakers recognized that the Stonewall Uprising of 1969 took place at the Stonewall Inn located in Greenwich Village in lower Manhattan in New York City. Also known as the "Stonewall Riots'', it was a protest against NYC police who came to the bar regularly to harass, assault, and shake down performers and clientele  Fast forward a few decades and the Stonewall Inn has been designated as a US National Monument - one of the few national monuments where you can grab a beer while taking in history. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which TV series we thought for sure we were done with last year that's getting new life on Peacock. Only 56% of quiztakers had heard the bad news that the streaming service has ordered a new season of 11-minute episodes of Caillou, now in CGI, as if that's going to make it any more tolerable. As an American, I'm not sure whether to blame Justin Trudeau or Bloc Québécois, but I do know that Canada should have to answer for this. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the definition of "culminate". 96% of quiztakers knew that the word means "to reach a climactic point or end result". Which this Quiz write-up has now done.

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Can't move, need advice, soonish
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-06-29 4:24:58 PM (44 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

News cycle's been super weird this week.  Major news events have been shortening the not-news cycle quite a bit.  Everyone's been rushing to push their stories into the cycle around Real News and also before everyone logs off for the long weekend this Friday. Seems like a sprint - I can't wait for the weekend to get here.

This week on the Fark News Livestream - we should have everyone back!  Lucky, Dill, and Christine will join me for the best of the under-the-radar news this week, both weird and important.  Sorry for the late scratch last week, we were short on material and I was short on sleep.  I've got a stack of about 40 stories for tomorrow that I'm gonna need to cut down to 20 or fewer, about half the stack came from just today.  More AIs behaving badly, the world's ugliest dog, crypto shenanigans and llama's blood.  What do these all have in common?  Hopefully nothing - but you never know....
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
fragMasterFlash showed us how the shooter at Robb Elementary School was finally stopped
BigMax gave us the good news and the bad news about a house for sale in Gary, IN
NeoCortex42 explained why they can't just fix "The Flash" movie by changing it to an animated feature
bearded clamorer had an alarming question about a home listing photo
OdradekRex thought it might be convenient to have a baby and an 83-year-old spouse
DonkeyDixon had personal experience with how hard it can be to get a door open
KC Dutchman revealed the real reason Jerry Hall is divorcing Rupert Murdoch
HighlanderRPI showed how police gained access to Robb Elementary
EvilEgg made a point about a character from "The Boys" (spoilers in thread, duh)
Prof. Frink helped a sad Farker who was disappointed there was no nudity in a news link

Smart:
nmrsnr took a guess at what the next revelation about the Uvalde police will be
OdradekRex had a theory about what caused the collapse of a condominium building in Surfside, FL a year ago
TheMaskedArmadillo responded to a Texas school district's claim that their new dress code is meant to prepare students for jobs
hubiestubert discussed the kinds of messages in science fiction and comics ("The Boys" spoilers in thread)
hubiestubert shared what it was like to do catering for various famous musical acts
Ambivalence made a point about missing children who are assumed to be runaways
Private_Citizen shared a story about how cops get new cars

CSB Sunday Morning themeAdventures with jewelry
Smartcatmandu used symbolic jewelry to make a sentimental pendant
Funnyingo shared a story that's open to interpretation

Politics Funny:
Joe USer was ready to be the next leader of QAnon
giantmeteor speculated about the 50 people from the terror watchlist who were arrested by Border Patrol
I Ate Shergar had a question about a plan of attack advocated by a member of Russian parliament's defense committee
aleister_greynight complained about a man wearing a Starfleet pin at a January 6 hearing
Bootleg showed that it's true that Mike Pence never saw a president lie as much as Joe Biden

Politics Smart:
duppy considered the fact that police in riot gear were sent to the Supreme Court after Roe v. Wade was overturned
blastoh listed some information that had come out in the January 6 hearings so far
Brosephus discussed civil rights fights in the past
eurotrader thought there's a resource many people will need since the Supreme Court is undoing federal civil rights protections
ace in your face wrote about what it means to deny the right to abortion


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba sent an intimidating messenger with an arrest warrant
samsquatch brought McDonald's for the kids
Yammering_Splat_Vector finished and brightened this famous bridge
bugdozer Viggened an apple
RedZoneTuba scolded this school
RedZoneTuba brought us to a Fish restaurant
RedZoneTuba illustrated the difficulties modern architecture can pose to even the best detectives
bugdozer showed that love can find you even if you're a rock and an island
RedZoneTuba did the opposite of what the yellow flag requested
Yammering_Splat_Vector discovered the mighty armored bison

Farktography themeSacred Spaces
gorrck shared a photo from Kyoto


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Four inmates escape from Virginia prison satellite camp, although how they were able to construct an effective re-entry vehicle with working heat shield in prison is anybody's guess

Tractor-trailer hauling cheese catches fire. De Brie everywhere

Police said witnesses knew the man wasn't a real officer when he responded to a call in under an hour

First there was no Dana, now there is no Juul

Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom

Fleetwood Apple-IIe

It seems like interest in SQL must be surging

How kings ate through the ages. Fark around, find gout

Chickens fed cannabis don't require antibiotics, can't fly but still get high

If our lungs are bottoming out, we might be willing to consider a little derri-air

Incelligent design?

Super Mega dyslogistic crypto is atrocious

Get your flu shot so you won't forget your flu shot


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where we learned some surprising things about how far we in the US are behind the rest of the developed world when it comes to reducing our environmental impact. The 1000 club is overflowing this week, so I'll be making banana smoothies as soon as I can find paper straws that don't fall apart halfway through your beverage. Here's last week's top 10:

Myk-House of El - 958
ccking - 927
mybluemake - 919
freakingmoron - 854
edmo - 853
bodegas - 839
bingethinker - 839
hopkin_green_frog - 838
Dead Skin Mask - 837
Rattrap007 - 835

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a sealed copy of an old VHS movie that went for $75,000 recently, sold by one of the movie's stars. Only 47% of quiztakers recognized actor Tom Wilson as Biff Tannen from "Back to the Future", a movie series where he would go on to play several iterations of himself and his ancestors who troubled the McFly clan (as well as Clint Eastwood). 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about how a woman in New York City was able to escape a hostage situation. 94% of quiztakers knew that she included a message to call police in the "special instructions" of her GrubHub order. While she was successfully rescued, she was interviewed before seeing the service charge, so no word yet on whether she felt it was worth it. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about sci-fi streaming serieseseses. Only 43% of quiztakers recognized the "Chimps Don't Cry" video as an extra from the superhero parody series "The Boys", featuring actress Laurie Holden (The X-Files, The Shield, The Walking Dead, The Americans) continuing her career trajectory of series that begin with "The", in character as Crimson Countess. 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about which feature Microsoft has finally said goodbye to. 93% of quiztakers knew that you could no longer use Internet Explorer to download another browser, and would now need to use Edge for this step on newer systems. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: 15 exciting new uses for silica gel desiccant packets!
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-06-22 5:11:37 PM (63 comments) | Permalink

Drew is busy working on a zombie apocalypse plan today, but he'll be around for the Fark News Livestream at 4 p.m. on Thursday. Hooray!

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
markie_farkie explained high-tech '70s fashion when NewportBarGuy identified a sexy style
Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen named potential choices if airlines start using this new seat design
JulieAzel626 let us know what John Hinkley said when he was released
bloobeary figured out the source of the "extraterrestrial" signals detected by China
Chemlight Battery explained why a worker who sunk a hole-in-one in a hallway to get everyone a day off was called "brave"
Flyinglemur shared more information about $1 million worth of Ford F-150 Raptors that were stolen from a manufacturing plant
freidog found out who's impressed by China's Five-hundred-meter Aperture Spherical Telescope's findings
AnotherBluesStringer revealed the real reason Robert Plant turned down a role on "Game of Thrones"
Breaker Moran told us where we could learn more about Tesla, Inc.

Smart:
ImpendingCynic wondered about four officers the Navy recently relieved of command
Private_Citizen discussed John Cena's magic power
tuxq, for one, welcomed our future alien overlords
New Rising Sun had a bad feeling about flying pod-people style
Private_Citizen compared the metric system and the 'Murican system
HeartBurnKid reminded us about an element of the freedom of speech that many people are still somehow unaware of
NewportBarGuy discussed MicroStrategy's cofounder and CEO Michael Saylor
crustysandman told us about meeting John Cena
NeoCortex42 had a practical reason for Darth Vader to seem weakest in the original trilogy

CSB Sunday Morning themeBarbecue stories
SmartThe Pope of Manwich Village followed strict rules about getting all up in another man's grill
FunnyCreoena's mom was a smartass

Politics Funny:
nicoffeine was relieved to read the details warning against visiting Turkey
RasIanI sorted out a misunderstanding from March for our Lives
Mr. Coffee Nerves let us know what was on Fox News during one of the January 6 hearings
nakmuay shared that Mike Pence asked a familiar question as the insurrectionists closed in on him
mrshowrules found a letter from one of Rep. Barry Loudermilk's visitors at the Capitol on January 5, 2021

Politics Smart:
NeoCortex42 pointed out one area in which Trump has the advantage over Biden
Maybe you should drive had reason to be prouder than the Proud Boys
somedude210 still had faith in the system
mrshowrules thought about how Uvalde's hiring of a law firm to fight the release of records adds more insult to injury for the families of Uvalde victims
monkeyman3875 had a message for a Patriot Front member who was kicked out of his mother's house for his hateful actions


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
RedZoneTuba used the perfect frame for a photo of Howard's sweetheart
Wrongo found a great deal on a house for sale
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us Ike's "casual Friday" look
bugdozer had Putin point out Dick Butt's butt
stickindamud made "Mary Poppins" so much better
RedZoneTuba showed a tractor towing its ample harvest
samsquatch gilded this swan's feet
Eat The Placenta was going to have a hard time getting these shoes on Dorothy
stickindamud made this singer's legs match her dress
Wrongo reunited these two pals

Farktography themeFlutterbys
Clockwork Kumquat caught a gliding butterfly and its sliding shadow


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

In stunning reversal of fortune, man threatens White Castle with gas

401(k) statements will now include helpful estimates of whether you can afford dollar store cat kibble or Fancy Feast in retirement. Those of you without retirement accounts can still count on eating mice, or each other

We knew it was an acrimonious divorce, but when did Kanye get warships, planes, and thousands of soldiers?

Acknowledging rollercoaster of American economy, Tacoma Narrows Bridge anticipates reduction of toll rates this fall, a move expected to resonate with drivers

🎵 When the shiat hits the fan / but your dick's in your hand / that's Uvaldeeee 🎵

Firefighting boat has two jobs: be a boat, and fight fires. Officials are now investigating why it caught fire and sank

"The President, while riding his bicycle on vacation, came to a sudden arboreal stop"

Just a reminder that the Real ID Act has turned 18, and now must pay full price at the security theater starting May 3, 2023

Well lookie here, another abandoned child of Herschel Walker. Check your couch cushions, closets, and sheds

Log Cabin Republicans shocked to learn the Texas Republican Party, long known for their acceptance and inclusion, has voted to shut the group out of their convention

Amazon won't give employees a day off to celebrate the end of slavery, which seems pretty on the mark

There was a detectorist in Kent / Whose days were detectoring spent / His wand found a peen / With a silvery sheen / But the treasure's the Crown's not that gent's


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we discovered that some of us still like bologna enough to have brand preferences. Unfortunately, we'll be serving the stuff I found on sale in the 1000 Club this time. On the Quiz itself, Tax Boy came out on top with 1032 and will be joined in the 1000 Club by dionysusaur with a score of 1023. LizardOnAStick made third with 947, Blackstone made fourth with 933, and spudbeach made it into the top five with 932,

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a record currently being pursued by Queen Elizabeth II, much to the dismay of Prince Charles. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that King Louis XIV of France inherited the throne when he was only four years old, with his mother acting as regent until he was crowned at the age of 15. His reign of 72 years, 110 days is the longest in modern world history, but Queen Elisabeth has less than two years to go to take over this title.

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz last week was about the Abilene (TX) Zoo's newest addition, a baby steenbok. 87% of quiztakers knew that a steenbok is an adorable miniature antelope common in southern and eastern Africa. They only stand about 24" at the soldier, and their main defense against predators seems to be their cuteness and the fact they're too small to have any meat.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Disney milking an already successful blockbuster because they can. Only 50% of quiztakers guessed that "Spider-Man: No Way Home" would be returning to the big screen in an extended cut called "The More Fun Stuff Version", which will feature scenes cut for time and pacing with more interactions between the three Spider-Men and hopefully more scenes of Dr. Strange's basement and the weird stuff they find there. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Disney refusing to milk an upcoming blockbuster by cutting content to get it into more theaters. 90% of quiztakers knew that Pixar's "Lightyear" won't be shown in Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, or the UAE because the filmmakers refused to cut a scene involving a same-sex kiss. A few decades from now, the decisions by these "cultural ministers" are going to seem as absurd as the decisions of American theaters to not screen "Gone With the Wind" because Clark Gable said a naughty word. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.
· · ·

Fark NotNewsletter: Your big massive dump of Fark
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-06-15 3:03:25 PM (30 comments) | Permalink

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Our friends over at Snopes are holding an interesting fundraiser this week: they're minting a limited run of 7,500 challenge coins, supposedly ones that you can produce anytime one of your family members mouths off about something they could have looked up on Snopes first.  Worth checking out if you enjoy their stuff.  Also someone had an interesting suggestion along those lines, let's kick some ideas around on TotalFark -  join the discussion, and be sure to sign up for TotalFark if you're not already a member.

Thursday at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Lucky, Christine and Dill.  Looking at the pull pile as it stands right now, looks like we have a ton of material on AIs, new military equipment, and it's been a banner week for elephants for some strange reason.  I'm gonna have to whittle this down further and lord knows what will happen between now and then.  Although I definitely want "allegedly inebriated" on my tombstone.  Plus more Indiana weirdness.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
gopher321 considered a possible complication of having vacuum-powered laundry chutes in your walls
EvilEgg explained why Uvalde's police chief didn't show up for his first City Council meeting
BetterMetalSnake had advice in case you're ever arrested
Ivo Shandor reassured anyone with concerns about Elon Musk's Boring Company building transportation tunnels in Fort Lauderdale
TappingTheVein had an idea for what Warner Bros. should do if they remove Amber Heard from the Aquaman sequel
OkieDookie identified what type of car was hit by a train
Dyalar noticed something fishy about a man's claim that his million-dollar wristwatch was stolen
Pocket Ninja explained why it makes sense that manufacturers are shrinking package sizes in response to inflation
Ragin' Asian pointed out a time an actor was so good in a role that you forgot who he was while watching
Rage Against the Thorazine had a name for the underground transportation network Elon Musk wants to build in Florida

Smart:
bloobeary looked at why megachurch members stood by their leader instead of the victims of his assaults
Xcott got déjà vu from a plan for an underground transportation network in Fort Lauderdale
Squid_for_Brains looked at why silicone breast implants are no longer banned
Vern discussed the sentence a former Police Chief got for trafficking 200 fully automatic machine guns
BizarreMan had a question about the Uvalde schools police chief
Pichu0102 admired a teacher's resolve

CSB Sunday Morning themeNeighbors. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the weird
Smart: Jesus McSordid told us about helping neighbors
Funny: Hey Nurse! learned that kids will repeat anything they've heard you say

Politics Funny:
oldernell knew who was behind the People's Convoy sandwich scam
Private_Citizen did the math on 31 Patriot Front asshats getting arrested
bostonguy made the saddest Matthew McConaughey reference ever
MattytheMouse had an observation about the idiots who conspired to riot at an Idaho Pride event
Myrdinn thought the armed man who was arrested near Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh's house should've tried a different tack

Politics Smart:
OdradekRex suggested a different school for Kyle Rittenhouse since Texas A&M doesn't want him
weddingsinger noticed a bunting of red flags in a description of an Arizona Senate candidate
Pocket Ninja thought that Rep. Ted Lieu should've skipped reciting for House members "what Jesus Christ said about homosexuality"
markie_farkie pointed out something the U.K. did to counter inflation
Lambskincoat figured certain people might have a personal interest in Kyle Rittenhouse not being admitted to Texas A&M


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Circusdog320 took over The Starry Night with a planet
Herb Utsmelz found out how titanium logs are made
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed us some shiny metal ash
RedZoneTuba wanted to vacation Chris Christie style
whatsupchuck put some special sprinkles on this tasty cupcake
Herb Utsmelz discovered that an entertainment company is going to great lengths to promote their brand
Yammering_Splat_Vector wanted a new painting for the living room
bugdozer gave the Joker a mountain of hair
whatsupchuck made an exciting new upgrade to a classic toy
bugdozer enjoyed music from a surprising harpist

Farktography themeAre We There Yet?
This one ended in a tie with Lovesandwich's Space Hot Dog Atlantis and gorrck's scenic Yaquina Head Lighthouse


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Walmart ditches coconut milk brand because it uses slave monkey labor to harvest the coconuts. This ends with man in loincloth railing at Statue of Liberty

If he stole both chlorine and sodium, he may get busted with a salt

Man tries to appeal directly to Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh under the Second Amendment

Two stuck after falling into vat of chocolate; choreographed musical number underway

Corn passes through intact

Five Tampa Bay Devil Rays player refuse to recognize Pride month, citing Jesus' command to love one another. I may have got that wrong somehow but you get the idea

UK barely holds onto its Johnson

The largest caravan ever assembled is set to arrive at America's southern border on July 15, 2022

Why don't they just hire taller pilots?

Pair o' gliders


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we learned that branding forced onto employees by corporate lawyers doesn't always get picked up by the general public. On the Quiz itself, we got two entries to the 1000 Club, where we'll be serving the new strawberry flavor of "Frosty Treats" as soon as we get them at our local Wendy's. Bring your own fries for dipping. Congrats to bradley547 who came out on top with a score of 1012 and HighwayBill in second with 1008. Kidsmakeyoucrazy made third with 991, S'moreSchnapps came in fourth with 991, and bjchrist made the top five with 974.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the definition of "arrogate". Only 35% of quiztakers recognized that it wasn't a screen for a ceiling fan, but it means claiming a privilege or right in a manner that is not fair or legal - as in, the media has dubbed the scandal involving the new mayor arrogantly arrogating the installation of ArrowGate Projectile Protection Panels in City Hall without approval from the City Council as  "Aero-Gate".

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about how this month's idiot tourist decided to damage the Spanish Steps in Rome. 87% of quiztakers caught the story about the American tourist who threw her rented electric scooter down the stairs, causing damage to several steps. Interestingly, her and her male companion (who rolled his scooter down) were fined only €800 ($851) and banned from the site for six months. Apparently their defense of being really drunk at the time is a valid one in Rome. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the animated series "The Bad Batch" on Disney+. Only 50% of quiztakers knew that this was set in the Star Wars universe, meaning Disney should really work on their marketing. It's not a bad show at all - far better fare than the Saturday morning cartoons that transfixed us in the 1980s.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which city honored the late Prince with a street named after him. 93% of quiztakers recognized Minneapolis, MN as his hometown, Fun fact about Prince - "Prince" is his real name, not a stage name - unlike that weird symbol he used to get out of a bad record contract that made the graphics people at 1990s MTV have to work overtime.

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.
· · ·


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