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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun April 04, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this very important dinner party  (i127.photobucket.com) (55)
(USGS) NewsFlash 6.9 earthquake in Baja California, Mexico (update: now 7.2)  (earthquake.usgs.gov) (711)
(Some Guy) Fail Wharrgarbl alert: "OMG this is the FIFTH straight year Google hasn't done an Easter theme on its homepage EVERYBODY BOYCOTT GOOGLE this is bullcrap"  (seroundtable.com) (507)
(Telegraph) Interesting The rhubarb famine of 2010. Never forget  (telegraph.co.uk) (96)
(BBC) Dumbass If you're going to plagiarize others for your college speech, don't steal from the world's most famous television personality, the world's most famous author, and the President of the United States, all at the same time  (news.bbc.co.uk) (75)
(LA Times) Sad Early morning, April 4. Shot rings out in the Memphis sky. Free at last, they took your life. They could not take your pride  (latimes.com) (212)
(BBC) Asinine British kissing couple loses jail appeal in Dubai. Now they'll have to lightly handshake their freedom goodbye  (news.bbc.co.uk) (209)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Here's a comprehensive list (including pics / video) of all the places Jesus has been spotted since he rose from the dead  (979kissfm.com) (46)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Millionaire finds hooker online and gives her £60k to start new life, shocked when she takes the money and runs  (mirror.co.uk) (104)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sailor's ear bitten off during bar fight, chances are he'll never hear the end of it  (boston.barstoolsports.com) (40)
(Boston Globe) Ironic I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that people are gaming Massachusetts health insurance. This won't happen at the federal level, though  (boston.com) (369)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these beverages-on-the-move   (photofreedom.eraof.net) (36)
(Some Guy) Followup A letter from manga artist Nogami Takeshi responding to CNN's recent 'Rapelay' coverage  (tsurupeta.info) (233)
(Forbes) Obvious What the top U.S. companies pay in taxes. Yes, you pay more  (forbes.com) (271)
(InForum) Silly North Dakota Peeps hunted, trapped, and delectably prepared by talented chefs  (inforum.com) (17)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Happy 160th birthday Los Angeles. You don't look a day over 125  (discoverlosangeles.com) (64)
(The New Republic) Sad It just became legal to bribe judges in America, proving once again that America has the best judicial system money can buy  (tnr.com) (64)
(NJ.com) Cool N.J. Supreme Court upholds privacy of personal e-mails sent from work. The privacy of your boring life is safe for now  (nj.com) (39)
(Daily Mail) Silly For the first time in more than a century, the Ritz Hotel has loosened its dress code and will allow men to dine in its restaurant while wearing denim. But only at breakfast  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Doctor promotes diet plan used by Farkers for years: Eat whatever you want, however much you want, and drink lots of wine  (huffingtonpost.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off  (blogs.laweekly.com) (37)
(9 News) Spiffy ♫ Here comes Peter Cottontail ♫ Hopping down the bunny trail ♫ Hippity-hoppity ♫ Easter spending goes up for the first time in three years ♫  (9news.com) (43)
(3 News New Zealand) Scary Why did a coal ship crash into the Great Barrier Reef? It's sedimentary, my dear Watson  (3news.co.nz) (47)
(News.com.au) Scary When a teenage pilot safely crash lands a crippled plane on a city highway, jumps out and starts directing the traffic, the WIN is strong here  (themercury.com.au) (73)
(The Consumerist) Hero What may possibly be the greatest fast food sandwich in the history of grease goes nationwide April 12  (consumerist.com) (175)
(BBC) Asinine 12-year-old girl scribbles on school desk with erasable marker. School calls cops who decided it was an arrestable offense. Family now suing for $1 million to save other snow flakes. Florida tag seen roaming NYC police departments  (news.bbc.co.uk) (148)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this curiosity  (farm1.static.flickr.com) (39)
(Ahmedabad Mirror) Scary Cops rescue guy whose wife held him hostage in their home for a year  (ahmedabadmirror.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Amusing Lord bless this doughnut as symbol for Easter. Well at least it's holy  (themercury.com.au) (33)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Burger King 'crazy' ad offends crazy people  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (157)
(UPI) Amusing Disney bus driver ticketed for minor crash. Was he driving Goofy? Cuz that's a small offense after all  (upi.com) (20)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Catholic church sets up sex-abuse hotline in Germany, which rapidly gets overwhelmed with almost 4,500 calls  (dailymail.co.uk) (137)
(Yahoo) Obvious Still unable to one-up the Navy in sex appeal, Air Force to launch highly phallic space plane. Weeners tag looks on with envy  (news.yahoo.com) (110)

Sat April 03, 2010
(Some Ogler) Hero Two dozen naked women march in Portland, Maine. Organizer "enraged" that a thousand ogling men showed up to ogle and cheer  (pressherald.com) (358)
(The New York Times) Interesting Break out your weejuns, grosgrain belt and madras jacket, the long-awaited sequel to "The Preppy Handbook" is being published  (nytimes.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this helping hand  (bigpicture.ru) (35)
(MSNBC) Scary Kids in Easter egg hunt find dead body. Strangely, it disappeared two days later  T-Shirt  (msnbc.msn.com) (51)
(TBO) Florida ♪ "Goodbye benefits, tenure and summer rest. We'll base your job and pay on some silly test." ♪  (www2.tbo.com) (389)
(Google) Obvious Obama declares entire state of Rhode Island a disaster area. Anyone that has ever been to Rhode Island knows this is no exaggeration  (google.com) (131)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Man and teen arrested for stealing $10,000 in junk yard auto parts, which reportedly consisted of a 2002 Volkswagen bumper and eight fuel injectors  (nj.com) (53)
(NBC San Diego) Misc Cops chase ambulance stolen from hospital. Personal injury lawyers confused  T-Shirt  (nbcsandiego.com) (23)
(Globe and Mail) Stupid Slow, slower, slowest slo-pitch player struck by line drive. Sues ball park owners for $1.5 M. Blames setting sun. Runner scores all the way from first base. Opposing team wins tournament. Teammates pissed. Demand share of settlement  (theglobeandmail.com) (133)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this guy with all the latest tech  (farm3.static.flickr.com) (41)
(Canton Rep) Strange Drunk driver crashes car into utility pole, flips over, lands on wheels, keeps driving, eventually rolls into a ditch, gets taken to hospital, arrested after police follow trail of leaking oil back to his wrecked vehicle. Tada  (cantonrep.com) (22)
(Telegraph) Sappy With a bucket and a giant pickle, this "how about no" polar bear covers quite a few Fark clichés. OM NOM NOM  (telegraph.co.uk) (82)
(wpbf.com) Asinine Alabama senior one of 18 students punished for violating prom dress code. She chose suspension. The other 17? "Spank me, Mr. Principal." Giggity  (wpbf.com) (250)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious Prom: is it an important event in your child's life, or a big farking headache that costs too much damned money and is, in the long run, meaningless? Subby'd vote for the latter  (chicagotribune.com) (282)
(My Fox NY) Interesting Feds go on Easter egg hunt in yard of former Philly mayor Frank Rizzo's son-in-law. Find $2 million in buried treasure. w/vid of what Feds ripping apart a palatial estate with a backhoe might look like  (myfoxphilly.com) (31)
(WWL) Amusing Some protesters have a problem with Tulane medical school using live pigs for trauma training. Mmmmmm, bacon and beignets  (wwl.com) (79)
(AFP) Dumbass Elton John, who has apparently never seen a single episode of Scooby Doo, announces he's going ahead with his concert in the Mayan ruins despite mysterious disasters befalling the set and outraged locals  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (76)
(News.com.au) Sad Six-year-old twins caught smuggling cocaine in underwear. That's some first grade blow  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (53)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Cool or scary, that's one hell of a giant Lego tarantula  (gizmodo.com) (48)
(Daily Mail) Amusing That 9 year old girl playing hopsctoch over there, yeah, she's a spy  (dailymail.co.uk) (59)
(Salon) Amusing Your favorite book SUCKS: one-star Amazon reviews of the classics. "It is because of this horrid book that I eat sausage every morning and tell my dad to kill every spider I see"  (salon.com) (378)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Today marks the sesquicentennial of the first Pony Express run  (ponyexpress.org) (37)
(Guardian.com) Ironic How to best celebrate English as the world's language of liberation? Change its name to a dorky made-up noun that sounds like an adjective  (guardian.co.uk) (98)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida In his house at Tarpon Springs, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming  (tampabay.com) (54)
(adn.com) Amusing Two slack-jawed yokels from Ohio travelling in the Alaskan wilderness watch a moose and timber wolf fight it out. Then they're treed by the moose  (adn.com) (54)
(BBC) Sad The most beautiful, and the most heartbreaking, series of photographs you'll see today  (news.bbc.co.uk) (135)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Christians upset that spring holiday is all about eggs and the Easter Bunny, no longer about celebrating the resurrection of Santa Claus  (chron.com) (169)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Dumbass I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you  (sunjournal.com) (47)
(Daily Mail) Silly A little girl is NOT in shock and awe upon meeting Pres. Obama. For some reason this is big time news. Get ready to hear this story over, and over again  (dailymail.co.uk) (175)
(Daily Mail) Scary Woman brought back from the dead 114 times in 30 hours. She REALLY doesn't want to go on the cart  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)
(Telegraph) Fail Council installs bike lane. For some odd reason, ungrateful cyclists have a problem with it.. w/pic  (telegraph.co.uk) (119)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this creature into ordinary slices of life  (lh5.ggpht.com) (88)
(Some Cat Lady) Caturday Blackberry in a jam: stuck in a tree for nine days and rescued in time for Caturday  (bendbulletin.com) (817)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man calls police for help getting out of the closed karaoke bar he passed out in the night before  (courier-journal.com) (21)
(PressConnects) Dumbass What's worse than driving drunk with a five-month-old baby and crashing into a tree? Leaving the scene and coaching your eleven-year-old to call 911 and say that you broke your leg by falling down the stairs of course  (pressconnects.com) (16)
(Telegraph) Asinine Americans renamed french fries as freedom fries, so the French fire back by replacing all English words. NEVER SURRENDER  (telegraph.co.uk) (216)
(Trader Joe's has a sad) Interesting You can kiss your Two Buck Chuck good-bye as California government wants to increase wine taxes by 12,675%  (ksbw.com) (157)
(CNN) Scary Guy from MASK arrested on terror charges w/ pic  (cnn.com) (95)
(BBC) Weird The latest food item that can be contaminated with salmonella is ... bird feeders. EVERYBIRDY PANIC  (news.bbc.co.uk) (16)
(Free Press) Spiffy As God is my witness, I thought marshmallows could fly  (freep.com) (17)
(Telegraph) Fail Five years after winning £9 million in the lottery, guy dies penniless after blowing it all  (telegraph.co.uk) (121)
(KENS-TV) Amusing Just in time for Easter: Woman sees face of St. Peter in rock. With see-it-for-yourself pic  (kens5.com) (86)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this soaring scarecrow  (bigpicture.ru) (20)
(Google) Dumbass It takes a special kind of idiot to get stuck in a dumbwaiter  (google.com) (19)
(CNN) Ironic A country that used to covertly send weapons to Afghanistan is concerned that a new country is covertly sending weapons to Afghanistan  (cnn.com) (116)
(Telegraph) Amusing Prostitutes sign confuses motorists, encourages rear-endings  (telegraph.co.uk) (46)
(MSNBC) Obvious The millennial generation - about 50 million people between ages 18 and 29 - is the only age group in the nation that doesn't cite work ethic as one of its "principal claims to distinctiveness"  (msnbc.msn.com) (342)
(UPI) Scary "Mumps-related testicle problems rampant." Aw, nuts  (upi.com) (55)

Fri April 02, 2010
(Metro) Sappy Mayhaps you desire to --SQUIRREL  (metro.co.uk) (47)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy After its mother is hit by a car, baby wombat is rescued by another driver (with "HOLY CRAP, that is one ugly baby" pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (74)
(The New York Times) Stupid Really, when you think about it, this whole uproar over priests molesting kids is just as bad as the persecution of the Jews. At least that's how the Vatican sees it  (nytimes.com) (189)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this secure stay  (bigpicture.ru) (38)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Show me your badge: rent-a-cop kicks off this week's Smoking Gun mugshot roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (193)
(New York Daily News) Asinine "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lockerbie bomber who was released from prison because he was going to die months ago, happy birthday to you"  (nydailynews.com) (159)
(History Channel) Florida On this day in 1513, Ponce de Leon discovered Florida and ushered in a era of settlement, exploration and FARK links  (history.com) (82)
(Yahoo) Obvious Body piercing may be a sign of anti-social behavior, mental illness, smoking and drinking, and generally not being a goody two shoe  (news.yahoo.com) (208)
(ABC News) Hero "Recyclopedia" author Harryette Mullen wins Jackson poetry prize. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher. Un-trust-ing. Un-know..ing. Harryette. She stole my cat. I am lonely. This poem sucks  (abcnews.go.com) (83)
(SFGate) Interesting The friendly skies are about to get a lot friendlier now that the FAA is letting pilots fly on Prozac  (sfgate.com) (59)
(Fox News) Ironic Emergency responder arrested for responding to emergency  (foxnews.com) (119)
(Yahoo) Strange Nigerian man rams car into parked plane, to punish sinners in the name of Jesus. That'll show 'em  (news.yahoo.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Interesting Just to be sure every ounce of fight is drained from your body, women are now setting up their husbands on dates with men they think they might like to hang out with. With picture of what a 'man-date" might look like  (blackandmarriedwithkids.com) (464)
(LA Times) Scary Mexico's civil unrest has gotten so bad the Drug Lords are directly attacking military bases  (latimes.com) (318)
(Grand Haven Tribune) Spiffy Warm weather has anglers hitting the water. Except for you. You're too fat. You'll sink the boat. Just stay on Fark  (grandhaventribune.com) (103)
(The Correctness) Cool Supervillain Smackdown 4: Venom vs. Doctor Doom  (thecorrectness.com) (192)
(Macon.com) Amusing Authorities throw the book at 51-year old prostitute Chun Lee Sook for offering happy endings. Sook ducks  (macon.com) (53)
(Some Gen Xer) Amusing Wayne and Garth found in Google Street View. Excellent  (googlesightseeing.com) (124)
(Some Puppy) Sappy Because who DOESN'T want to watch a live camera feed of puppies on a Friday?  (atlantahumane.org) (160)
(My Fox Los Angeles) Unlikely President of Boy Scouts council says parents were to blame for their kids being molested  (myfoxla.com) (225)
(CNN) Followup Man condemned to death for sorcery says cold readings are nothing to lose one's head over; gets a temporary stay in execution  (cnn.com) (60)
(Washington Post) Asinine Airport screenings will now be based on intelligence information. Because clearly the old policy had nothing to do with intelligence  (washingtonpost.com) (45)
(NJ.com) Amusing The best photo of a convicted pimp you'll see all day. Bonus: pimp flow chart  (nj.com) (101)
(Telegram) Silly Tax assessor hopes town opts out of farm tax, because "to go out and count every chicken that is moving or standing still is a lot of work"  (telegram.com) (26)
(Yahoo) Amusing Millions have already ordered "The Best of Conservative Revisionist History", featuring hits like: Glenn Beck - Teddy Roosevelt was a Socialist, and Michelle Bachmann Turner Overdrive - FDR Caused the Great Depression  (news.yahoo.com) (462)
(The Daily Show) Hero Jon Stewart give CNN advice to help their ratings. "Instead of veering ideologically left or right why don't you use your programs to debunk the spin from both sides instead of just leaving it there?"  (thedailyshow.com) (264)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Time for TSGs Friday Photo Fun. Match the old fart to the crime. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern  (thesmokinggun.com) (33)
(The Sun) Obvious They'd better be quick - he won't be around long with that diet. He you say? Why it is Old King Curtis, a seven-year old who runs his family with an Iron blanket and wit  (thesun.co.uk) (87)
(Philly) Amusing Seven, seven, seven, seven. The Pa. lottery 4 draws all sevens for 3,107 winning tickets  (philly.com) (47)
(Fox News) Stupid To further show that they are an entity separate from the Republicans, and because the last one worked so well, Teabaggers draft their own "Contract From America." But they changed one word, so it's all good  (foxnews.com) (217)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this mustachioed monkey  (bigpicture.ru) (33)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Scary Escaped maggots cause chaos at market  (lep.co.uk) (22)
(New York Daily News) Sad President B. Hussein Obama (D-eliver us from him) responds to criticism of health care reform by mocking farmers  (nydailynews.com) (643)
(AZCentral) Hero Cops refuse to taser two year old girl  (azcentral.com) (91)
(The New York Times) Interesting Pfizer pfrovides pfroof on pfayments to pfhysicians  (nytimes.com) (31)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Today's woman arrested for emailing photos of her vajayjay brought to you by Shalimar, Florida. Collectable mug shot included  (wtsp.com) (80)
(Yahoo) Strange DOJ sues Halliburton subsidiary KBR for robbing the US blind on their no-bid contracts in Iraq. Now that is change you can believe in  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Yahoo) Obvious Cardinals defend pope on church sex abuse scandal, Mets say they are just butthurt  (news.yahoo.com) (201)
(USA Today) Sad Veterinarians four times more likely to commit suicide than the average person, which is like 28 times more like in dog years  (usatoday.com) (68)
(Guardian.com) Stupid Iran to sanctions against its nuclear program: "Bring it."  (guardian.co.uk) (40)
(Daily Mail) Cool Found: 300 year old version of Penthouse forum  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(Danbury (CT) News-Times) Fail Phrases you don't want your insurance company seeing: "The business owner, Greg Lee, 50, of Roxbury, had smelled propane the night before but thought little of it"  (newstimes.com) (11)
(Nevada Appeal) Strange Not had enough "crazy" this morning? Here's a second letter from the people whose first letter caused all 50 state capitols to go into lockdown Wednesday  (nevadaappeal.com) (242)
(Yahoo) Amusing The fallout over "bondagegate" has led the RNC to cancel other donor events including a VIP tour of Blackwater's NC training facility because apparently being the party of lesbian strippers and automatic weapons, is a BAD thing  (news.yahoo.com) (187)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Army Sec to soldiers: remember when I told you you can't be thrown out any more just for saying you are gay? Well, uhh, since that's an actual law and we can't ignore it, April Fools  (news.yahoo.com) (136)
(PopMatters) Amusing The arrival of Apple's iPad, the Moses tablet to their Jesus iPhone, is being treated with near-religious fervor but this otherwise early adapter tech geek is left wondering, "Is that all?"  (popmatters.com) (384)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Catholic school pays man $370,000 to go gambling and hire prostitutes and strippers  (boston.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Plug Please help get my kids' Pepsi Refresh Project approved with your votes--you can vote once per day--help me Farkers--let me see that Fark Effect and get this program into the top 10  (refresheverything.com) (110)
(USA Today) Scary Have you filled out your organ donor card yet? If you have, you may not want to click that link to the left  (content.usatoday.com) (86)
(USA Today) Interesting Robert Redford has mixed feelings about Blu-ray technology, horseless carriages  (usatoday.com) (65)
(Yahoo) Asinine "Chexting"? CHEXTING? Maybe the terrorists are right  (news.yahoo.com) (150)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Man takes "This is a stick up" WAY too literally  (mcall.com) (13)
(MSNBC) Spiffy You thought sacrificing an hour every Sunday was devotion, but once again, the Filipinos one-up you  (msnbc.msn.com) (41)
(BBC) Weird How does one catch a Viagra thief? It's really hard  (news.bbc.co.uk) (31)
(kcci.com) Interesting Wildlife volunteers release more than 200 bats in downtown Omaha. Interesting tag fills in for lack of Baturday tag  (kcci.com) (51)
(The Scottish Sun) Scary Here's an Indian Eagle Owl chick that was born recentAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF IS THAT THING, NUKE IT FROM ORBIT BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE  (thescottishsun.co.uk) (82)
(Telegraph) Interesting Drinking a liter of cola a day could reduce male fertility, distend bladder  (telegraph.co.uk) (57)
(The Sun) Amusing Bogus breast business booms, boastful Brits brag. Belligerent bankruptcies bother boisterous bosom buyers? Balderdash  (thesun.co.uk) (107)
(Some Guy) Spiffy A Fark/Reddit Party in Armenia? Sure, why the hell not? Apr 14th 8pm local time, Baobob Beerhouse in Yerevan  (armeniadiaspora.com) (73)
(My San Antonio) Scary "I'll have a beer, and put a head on it"  (mysanantonio.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this grabby guy  (sportpicture.ru) (23)
(WIVB) Scary Chunk of Statler smashes into sidewalk. Waldorf inconsolable  (wivb.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Silly London to get giant sci-fi sculpture, 20 metres taller than Statue of Liberty, in time for 2012 Olympics (w/ design pic). Doctor Who remembers why he loves that town so much  (spoonfed.co.uk) (85)
(The Consumerist) Asinine If a man slips on dog shiat in a PetSmart and no one's around, is it okay for him to sue the company for $1 million?  (consumerist.com) (72)
(3 News New Zealand) Sad The most poignant and touching story you'll read all day... and it's about two otters  (3news.co.nz) (48)
(Daily Illini) Unlikely Not news: Man attempts suicide by jumping from the 18th story. News: Lands on 4 story building, survives, jumps again. Fark: Name is Jeronymo  (dailyillini.com) (50)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Anti-capitalist Nanny State allows one of the UK's largest home improvement chains to open on Easter even though it's illegal and an affront to God. It's OK though because Christians promise to sue them if they sell anything  (dailymail.co.uk) (66)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: April Fool  (images.google.com) (62)

Thu April 01, 2010
(Wikipedia) Spiffy Thanks for an enjoyable April Fool's Day  (en.wikipedia.org) (383)
(Denver Post) Dumbass Hey, it's really sweet when a dad brings his young daughter to work. Except when he's a cocaine dealer picking up a fresh shipment of blow  (denverpost.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Scary Easter Bunny attacked in Poughkeepsie   (poughkeepsiejournal.com) (134)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Researchers discover weak link in Alzheimer's drug candidates, promptly forgot what it was  (physorg.com) (20)
(wnyt.com) Plug Energetic hotel guest tries to plug a European DVD player into an American electrical outlet. Hilarity ensues  (wnyt.com) (101)
(SLTrib) PSA If you're going to use a cutting torch to remove a gas tank from a salvage car, first make sure there's no gas in the tank  (sltrib.com) (35)
(Google) Sad Sherpa to drag Sir Edmund Hillary's ass up Mt. Everest one last time  (google.com) (48)
(Bonedaddy King) Dumbass NFL player's April Fool's Day plane hijacking gag hits snafu  (todayinstupid.com) (35)
(ABC News) Strange Overdosed toddler may lead to sainthood for dead nun  (abcnews.go.com) (36)
(WFTV) Strange "Deputies think the flames were set by an angry, naked man seen running from the scene"  (wftv.com) (17)
(SLTrib) Silly Republicans in Utah freak out over a school teaching students about democracy. "Karl Marx said, 'Democracy is the road to socialism'"  (sltrib.com) (247)
(Gawker) Silly Elite Eight announced: Pie v. Cake  (jezebel.com) (88)
(WESH Orlando) Amusing Wallaby on the loose in Windermere, Florida, claims to be one of Tiger's mistresses  (wesh.com) (14)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Scary Ovarian Mind Control might make a pretty cool name for a band, but in this gal's case it sucked  (news.cincinnati.com) (47)
(USA Today) Cool Newark marks its first murder-free month in 44 years. Never mind the spike in multiple gun-shot-wound suicides  (content.usatoday.com) (20)
(Some Humpback) Interesting Lake Michigan Whale Watching Tours are finally back up and running, now that the cold is gone  (lakemichiganwhales.com) (29)
(Making Light) Followup "You could disassemble Godzilla at a range of seven miles"  (nielsenhayden.com) (57)
(WPXI) Cool Zombies finally do some good, provide several tons of chicken for food bank  (wpxi.com) (11)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious Unemployment numbers will remain "terribly high for a very long time." You better Hope this Changes  (swamppolitics.com) (139)
(Some Guy) Amusing Ugly-ass baby skeksis born at Franklin Park Zoo. How cutAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH   (zooborns.com) (56)
(Cracked) Fail Let's rumble: the seven most legendary Internet Tough Guys  (cracked.com) (216)
(Ars Technica) Cool Have you ever wanted to face down an elder god? Well here's your chance... Ars Technica puts forth the Cthulu written 'Tentacular Tentacular'  (arstechnica.com) (27)
(KMOV St. Louis) Scary Ain't no party like a St. Louis party 'cause a St. Louis party don't stop until a deck collapses and sends seven people to the hospital  (kmov.com) (24)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these block-like balconies  (s.wsj.net) (24)
(Yahoo) Followup Pope sees sex scandal as a test, which explains all the cramming going on in the priesthood  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (296)
(Florida Today) Dumbass You're 15 and it's 1:00 am. Do you: c) take a car for a joy ride, go to the convenience store, taking out their gas pumps and driving into their wall?  (floridatoday.com) (43)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Among the items lost at Orlando International Airport: a wedding dress, a fake leg, walking canes, and car tires  (orlandosentinel.com) (42)
(National Review) Asinine Pornography addiction is getting out of hand  (article.nationalreview.com) (460)
(Mail Tribune) Misc Robber pulls off heist at Radio Shack. Unclear how he was able to escape without signing a two-year contract with Sprint  (mailtribune.com) (56)
(AFP) Cool Lance Armstrong makes rare appearance at France's Tour of Flanders. Stupid sexy Tour of Flanders *grumble*  (news.yahoo.com) (54)
(AFP) Dumbass Five pirates onboard a skiff target the USS Nicholas. Something tells me they didn't think their cunning plan through  (news.yahoo.com) (214)
(Reuters) Interesting Organizational skills and time management therapy may help ADHD. TFA may say more, but subby only read it for 45 seconds before submitting it  (reuters.com) (60)
(Boston Herald) Dumbass Obscenity-screaming douchebag hedge-fund manager throws a hissy after being asked to move his car. With hilarious results  (bostonherald.com) (183)
(Kansas City) Spiffy Let me Topeka that for you  (kansascity.com) (80)
(The Local (Sweden)) Sad Sweden bans fake breasts  (thelocal.se) (436)
(Guardian.com) Cool Donor conference nets almost $10 billion in aid for Haiti, which should be almost enough to move the entire country off its fault line  (guardian.co.uk) (39)
(News.com.au) Cool Arctic sea ice grows back to 'normal' for first time since 2001 and has already solidified around Al Gore's feet  (blogs.news.com.au) (393)
(CBC) Dumbass "You're so beatiful"  (cbc.ca) (132)
(Some Guy) Cool Following up their Taun-taun sleeping bag from last year, Thinkgeek has done it again, and made an April Fool's product that absolutely everyone is going to want  (thinkgeek.com) (227)
(Canoe) Interesting Rich wine collector files fraud lawsuit against auction house, calls them a bunch of corksuckers  (cnews.canoe.ca) (66)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Obese men at higher risk in crashes, unlike the people who happen to be sitting behind them  (bostonherald.com) (112)
(WLBZ2.com) Amusing Maine police are on the lookout for a 'Gilligan' bank robber. He's said to have made his get away in a pedal-powered grass car driven by a fat man in a sailor suit  (wlbz2.com) (54)
(WFTV) Weird Firefighters and zoo employees pull Tony the tiger from moat. To the surprise of absolutely no one, he's GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT  (wftv.com) (33)
(AZCentral) Interesting Arizona lets you hire prison inmates to upholster your torn furniture. "They never take shortcuts, because they've got oodles of time"  (azcentral.com) (85)
(UPI) Sad Rhode Island changes its name to Rhode Harbor  (upi.com) (176)
(ABC News) Scary Keep trying, guys: doctors induce labor, then perform C-section on woman only to find no baby inside. Woman plans lawsuit after stint in Vegas as the GREATEST MAGICIAN EVER  (abclocal.go.com) (131)

Wed March 31, 2010
(The New York Times) Followup Mississippi ACLU rejects $20,000 donation for alternative lesbian high school prom because the money has icky atheist cooties  (nytimes.com) (382)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these workers in wicker  (s.wsj.net) (24)
(Guardian.com) Stupid US television networks have no problem with graphic violence, salacious housewives and fake-breasted women eating bull testicle pizza, but don't you dare use the word "vagina" in a tampon commercial  (guardian.co.uk) (212)
(Reuters) Hero Unpaid Spanish air hostesses strip in protest  (reuters.com) (115)
(AP) Interesting Meteorologist loses ear on the job when attacked by machete wielding Samoan. Federal charges forecast  (hosted.ap.org) (52)
(CNN) Asinine Man sentenced to beheading for sorcery. This is not a repeat from 1477  (cnn.com) (239)
(TheIndyChannel) Dumbass Police forced to taser, slap unruly suspect. Fark: a 10-year-old boy  (theindychannel.com) (181)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 256: "Pure Bad Ass" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (185)
(Some Realist) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: If my life was a reality show  (realityblurred.com) (26)
(Free Press) Obvious Protip: Before your militia plans the violent overthrow of the US government, you might want to check Snopes.com first  (freep.com) (375)
(AZCentral) Amusing Reader: Is that red tape I see on all the telephone poles to help foreign armies invade us? Writer: You are dumb  (azcentral.com) (125)
(AOL News) Obvious Seaworld trainer died of trauma, drowning, world's laziest coroner reports  (aolnews.com) (76)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting China's censorship of Google is so extensive, it even bans the word "carrot." Because, really, with all the interesting stuff filtered out, what do you need such good eyesight for anyway?  (online.wsj.com) (69)
(The Frisky) Unlikely 30 Things Every Man Should Have By 30, written by the nagging, needy wife you'll have by 31  (thefrisky.com) (596)
(NJ.com) Amusing ♫ ♪ "Give me back that fillet-o-fish, give me that fish" ♪ ♫  (nj.com) (85)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass Man in trouble for ramming Dick's  (seattlepi.com) (94)
(AOL News) Unlikely "Bravado aside, are you absolutely positive you even know how to kill a zombie?"  (aolnews.com) (192)
(TC Palm) Florida Man pours urine on his dad's head during a potato-cooking dispute. Ahhh, the old golden russet shower  (tcpalm.com) (63)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Black and Blue (LGT GIS Inspiration)  (images.google.com) (33)
(Free Press) Strange Today's Fark-ready headline: "Pickle jar, mushroom soup used for evil"  (freep.com) (47)
(ABC News) Interesting Acupuncture may make dentist appointments less stressful, enable patients to transcend dental medication  T-Shirt  (abcnews.go.com) (81)
(NYPost) Asinine NYC deputy fire commissioner retires on a pension of $242,000 a year. It's mostly tax-free because he has a disability that limits him to playing golf only 50 times a year  (nypost.com) (166)
(Gothamist) Silly Dainty folks at the MTA offended by WTF subway posters. Seriously, WTF  (gothamist.com) (65)
(NW Florida Daily News) Amusing Good God, what's wrong with this country? You can't even get drunk in a public restroom and fall asleep on the floor  (nwfdailynews.com) (30)
(BBC) Cool Kenyan slum residents no longer have to put up with flying sacks of crap  (news.bbc.co.uk) (51)
(MSNBC) Asinine Military chief denies gay discharge  (msnbc.msn.com) (130)
(CNN) Sad R.I.P. Jaime Escalante. He reeched those keeds  (cnn.com) (141)
(ABC News) Fail In a move that can be used as the definition of not thinking your cunning plan all the way through, anti-government Christian-terrorist group members request public-defenders  (abcnews.go.com) (298)
(Yahoo) Interesting The E.U. finds a way around laws prohibiting sales of torture equipment by relabeling them as BDSM accessories  (news.yahoo.com) (87)
(ABC News) Stupid There are good parties, awesome parties, and "cause $45,000 worth of damage" parties  (abcnews.go.com) (148)
(NewsMax) Hero Bill O'Reilly pays legal bill of fallen Marine's father  (newsmax.com) (679)
(TC Palm) Florida Good news: Golfer hits eagle. Bad news: The other kind of eagle  (tcpalm.com) (69)
(Boston Globe) Stupid Town may call parents of college students to report that their adult children attended a loud party  (boston.com) (171)
(WESH Orlando) Weird Not news: Suspects escape then run and hide at police station. Fark: Tilapia escapes and flies to sushi bar  (wesh.com) (31)
(Fox News) Scary Submarine returns from the depths with a thing right out of Stephen King's "The Mist" Bonus: Picture that will have you wondering when Cthullu is showing up  (foxnews.com) (342)
(Some Guy) Cool Finally a slideshow depicting something we care about. Beer sculptures  (ktvu.com) (15)
(SMH) Spiffy For your Peru-sal: Machu Picchu reopens to tourists  (smh.com.au) (52)
(The Tennessean) Silly Don't want to work on Sundays? Just sue your boss for religious discrimination  (tennessean.com) (116)
(Some Guy) Interesting Nude woman arrested at Hilton Hotel Spa holding the elevator up with toy gun  (downtownshortpump.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this lopsided girl  (i.imgur.com) (43)
(Pittsburgh Channel) Silly Not news: Man pleads guilty to disorderly conduct. Fark: For barking at police dog  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (63)
(NYPost) Amusing Kitchenistas - Hip New Yorkers who store their clothes in ovens and fridges because they have no room in their 200 sq. foot studios  (nypost.com) (245)
(The Tennessean) Scary "A wounded gang member ran into a nail salon carrying a gun, before employees shooed him away." Hardcore  (tennessean.com) (81)
(ABC News) Interesting Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the United States, has already provided valuable information on which version of Photoshop Iran is using  T-Shirt  (abcnews.go.com) (173)
(London Times) Dumbass Man has a crush on a married colleague. Does he a) approach her and confess his love, b) send her flowers and charm her, or c) break into her home and download child porn on her husband's computer in order to defame him?  (timesonline.co.uk) (162)
(The Local (Sweden)) Dumbass Jøe versus the völcanö  (thelocal.se) (66)
(ABC News) Sad Man joins elite group of Empire State platform diving champions  (abcnews.go.com) (194)
(CNN) Sick "They wanted to shut down the picketing so now they're going to finance it"  (edition.cnn.com) (639)
(Some Dude) Interesting The weirdest, coolest scale model of an entire WW2-era town you'll see today  (marwencol.com) (110)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Man sets diapers on fire after argument, hopes he'll get a jury that pampers idiots like him  (mcall.com) (21)
(The Sun) Weird "Sex-Change Killer to Wed Lesbian Murderess in Jail." And that's all I got to say about that  (thesun.co.uk) (44)
(My Fox Dallas) Weird Texas Stadium, home of the Cowboys... and tons of balls... bright yellow balls hidden throughout the stadium like easter eggs  (myfoxdfw.com) (39)
(Daily Mail) Cool Men have women to thank for making beer so popular - and not just the ugly ones  (dailymail.co.uk) (63)
(AZCentral) Cool Arizona hipster cafe plans rabbit-based dishes for Easter Sunday menu; "I wish you a slow and painful death"-larity ensues  (azcentral.com) (264)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this racing buggy  (byaki.net) (29)
(YouTube) Caption Caption this 30 sec. clip  (youtube.com) (89)
(Daily Mail) Fail Sell a goldfish to a 14 year old? That's a jailin'  (dailymail.co.uk) (130)
(Some Guy) Florida Drunk man fights with wife. Drunk man shoots dog. Drunk man passes out while trying to bury dog. Drunk man was hoping she wouldn't notice  (970wfla.com) (55)
(Denver Channel) Amusing Denver drivers warned to be on alert this weekend for slow-moving drivers, massive but mellow traffic jams at all area Taco Bells  (thedenverchannel.com) (114)
(News Miner) Cool Three legged sled dog seeks respect... and the man who killed his paw  T-Shirt  (newsminer.com) (50)

Tue March 30, 2010
(London Times) Interesting The kings of debauchery are the Germans, at whose camp in northern Afghanistan 1.7 million pints of beer were consumed last year, according to a German parliamentary report  (timesonline.co.uk) (88)
(With Leather) Spiffy "Retrosexuals" on the rise. Super gay puns, like "Menaissance", however, continue to thrive  (withleather.uproxx.com) (201)
(Journal-Star) Asinine Screaming "Terrorist" in a crowded plane is not considered free speech  (journalstar.com) (177)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop something else into this reflection  (farm5.static.flickr.com) (44)
(Guardian.com) Ironic A leading Canadian psychiatrist who claimed electroshock treatment could "cure" homosexuality has been arrested for sexually abusing his patients. His male patients. Shocking  (guardian.co.uk) (237)
(The Atlantic) Interesting Papalgate is unfolding just like Watergate, except no one wants to see Deep Throat this time  (theatlantic.com) (204)
(SFGate) Amusing From the guy who kicked out customers for playing pool too loud to the man who attacked someone with a cheeseburger basket, a look at some of the meanest bartenders in San Francisco  (sfgate.com) (229)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Slideshow of 38 absurdly-elaborate entrants in the Washington Post 2010 Peeps diorama contest  (washingtonpost.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Cool Study finds public libraries are still viable, mostly as a means for low income people to watch porn  (govtech.com) (120)
(CNN) Dumbass Three boys prank high school "pass the mic" session with a dirty dancing routine. Since this is America, criminal charges have been filed  (edition.cnn.com) (158)
(Some Guy) Ironic Drug lab shut down for drug use  (ktvu.com) (63)
(The New York Times) Interesting Key West police get federal stimulus money to kick dirty rotten homeless vagrants off their beaches because the beaches should be for dirty rotten drunk tourists  (nytimes.com) (140)
(Guardian.com) Weird Author and food activist Raj Patel has inadvertently found himself taking on a second career: denying he's a world-saving messiah who fulfills an ancient prophecy  (guardian.co.uk) (104)
(Some Guy) Amusing BC Minister of Environment celebrates Earth Hour by lighting his cat on fire  (vancouversun.com) (64)
(Fox News) Amusing Florida woman robs bank, citing her 'Bucket List', because everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire  (foxnews.com) (74)
(Globe-Democrat) Asinine NASA study finds that NASA spends too much on snacks  (globe-democrat.com) (54)
(TC Palm) Florida Man escapes from jail when the guard falls asleep, but is soon back behind bars after his mom turns him back in. Surprisingly, this didn't happen in Mayberry  (tcpalm.com) (29)
(WGAL 8) Spiffy Find out where the nation's top nude beaches are. Then experience crushing disappointment as you find out what nudists actually look like  (wgal.com) (202)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these patient passengers  (byvic.com) (37)
(My Fox DC) Strange Nothing like a striptease video shot at the spot of JFK's assassination to piss everybody off  (myfoxdc.com) (218)
(ABC News) Followup Military says the the campaign to re-take Khandahar is going to be, well, kind of hard  (abcnews.go.com) (146)
(Johnson City Press) Dumbass Police find pot-filled safe in car in Hooters lot, two boobs arrested  (johnsoncitypress.com) (95)
(AOL News) Sad Part of Emperor Nero's Golden Palace collapses due to unrelenting showers  (dailyfinance.com) (66)
(Fox News) Asinine Level headed global warming activists attempting to sue major corporations for...causing hurricane Katrina  (foxnews.com) (132)
(Some Greenie D) Cool Texas Frightmare Weekend. The cast of Christine will be there, plus Margot Kidder--as if that's not scary  (texasfrightmareweekend.com) (45)
(AOL News) Strange Councilman booted from office because he was addicted to Farmville. Councilman furious, threatens to come back with his entire Mafia Wars family  (aolnews.com) (64)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you're going for DUI, go big: "It was really easy to find him with the trees dangling from the rig,"  (timescall.com) (13)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Fark: Man attempts hari-kari using cucumber. UltraFark: In his butt  (news.com.au) (158)
(USA Today) Obvious "Guys here are so small and skinny. They need to feel masculine, and they don't if you're bigger than them"  (usatoday.com) (336)
(ABC News) Followup Military states that it could take up to a year to remove "Jesus rifles" from circulation. Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch unavailable for comment  (abcnews.go.com) (223)
(News.com.au) Scary Cigarettes may contain pig blood. Just what we need: the entire Middle East to go cold turkey all at once  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (149)
(Yahoo) Strange Scientists say the recent Right Whale die-off is the largest on record. Well, except for back when we used to stick pointy things in them and use them for fuel oil  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(Telegraph) Silly Further evidence that Basildon is out of ideas  (telegraph.co.uk) (24)
(AOL News) Amusing Man arrested for streaking through a TN supermarket give the most honest explanation for his behavior ever: "I was bored and had nothing better to do"  (aolnews.com) (42)
(Metro) Strange My spaniel is stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help  (metro.co.uk) (71)
(USA Today) Scary The South will rise again. With H1N1, anyway  (usatoday.com) (61)
(ABC News) Interesting States vying for education money dismayed to discover that $600M/2 = $300M, while 39*$0 = $0  (abcnews.go.com) (185)
(ABC News) Silly Iowa town cites separation of church and state behind their decision to rename "Good Friday" to something less offensive. What could possibly go wrong?  (abcnews.go.com) (584)
(YouTube) Amusing You wanna fudge with me? You fudge with the best  (youtube.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop an advertisement for an unworthy charitable organization  (nationalgalleries.org) (32)
(National Post) Stupid University alumni association cancels foodbank fundraiser because students planned to use racist and dehumanizing instruments of oppression - novelty sumo suits  (nationalpost.com) (115)
(Some Weenerless Guy) Fail Step One: Chop off own penis. StepAAAAAAARRGGH   (news.ninemsn.com.au) (150)
(Denver Channel) Florida Protip: If you don't want to go to work, just call in sick. Don't phone in a bomb threat  (thedenverchannel.com) (36)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Scientists discover moral compass in the brain that can be disrupted by magnets, political aspirations  (dailymail.co.uk) (159)
(Yahoo) Obvious Philippine bishops condemn Easter whippings and crucifixions as "out of context" practices done to attract tourists and gawkers  (asia.news.yahoo.com) (60)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Not news: Drunk man falls asleep at airport. Fark: Inside the engine of an Airbus A320  (news.com.au) (40)
(Yahoo) Weird Chinese child has 15 fingers and 16 toes, is naturally better at math (with pics)  (news.yahoo.com) (146)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Sad Semi-truck full of cheese explodes on Minnesota highway. Too bad it bleu up, that cheese could have feta lot of people  (startribune.com) (143)

Mon March 29, 2010
(Jalopnik) Fail The world's worst custom Corvette  (jalopnik.com) (233)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this well work  (online.wsj.com) (26)
(Life.com) Scary The most terrifying thing here is that Bundy, Gacy, Dahmer, and the Night Stalker are not the most terrifying things here. Robert William Pickton, anyone?  (life.com) (232)
(Some Guy) Interesting Tim Horton's Doughnuts staff who worked in the Khandahar airport store are eligible for a war medal: the Chocolate Glazed Cross with Walnut Clusters  (timescolonist.com) (58)
(Fox News) Ironic Famous global warming activist freezes to death  (thefoxnation.com) (143)
(Some Guy) Ironic You can add "American Physicians and Surgeons" to the list of people who hate the idea of all Americans having health insurance  (970wfla.com) (329)
(GovExec) Interesting Richard Nixon-speechwritin', "Bueller? Bueller?"-repeatin', creationist movie-narratin', conservative editorializin' Ben Stein stands up for... federal bureaucrats?  (blogs.govexec.com) (94)
(ABC News) Scary Workers injured after a three-story building being converted to a four-story building suddenly became a one-story building  T-Shirt  (abclocal.go.com) (47)
(Washington Post) Followup Superman returns, beats the goddamn Batman  (washingtonpost.com) (164)
(The New York Times) Obvious Obama administration asks Israel not to build any more settlements in Jerusalem. Which is as likely to happen as Obama is to invite Sarah Palin to the White House to shoot baskets and watch "American Idol"  (nytimes.com) (525)
(BBC) Interesting Paul McCartney ex Heather Mills accused of leaning on her nanny  (news.bbc.co.uk) (62)
(Wall Street Journal) Scary Ah, spring, when a young man's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of LOCUST SWARMS AAAGGGHHHHH  (online.wsj.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Sick Should I not have said that the soap was made from Holocaust victims? Was that wrong?  (ottawacitizen.com) (231)
(London Times) Sick Welcome to Tweddle Children's Animal Farm. We will be open until 7pm tonight. Please pet ONLY the animals that are moving, not the dead ones decaying next to them. Make sure to enjoy the E coli 0157 exhibit to the left  (timesonline.co.uk) (53)
(Guardian.com) Scary That whole democracy thing? Let's put in on hold for a while. You know, for the environment  (guardian.co.uk) (428)
(Fox News) Dumbass Today's "you're doing it wrong" story comes to us from Cleveland where a man tried to elude police by breaking into jail  (foxnews.com) (25)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Woman says she was raped at an ATM. We're all tired of all those fees  T-Shirt  (tampabay.com) (126)
(KTLA) Strange When you have a consumable product, it's a good business move to give out free samples. Unless your product is heroin  (ktla.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this stiff step  (bigpicture.ru) (23)
(Canoe) Stupid Comedian who quieted rowdy lesbian hecklers is now on trial before province human rights commission for violating Canada's law against being a big fat meanie  (cnews.canoe.ca) (310)
(Daily Caller) Strange RNC Chair Michael Steele spent $2,000 at Voyeur West Hollywood, "a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex," which is outrageous, since that money could easily have bought genuine lesbian sex  (dailycaller.com) (455)
(Bonedaddy King) Fail Human corpse in pub's freezer likely a health code violation  (todayinstupid.com) (79)
(AP) Strange The next time you tell somebody to get off your lawn, remember that they could return, steal your dog, and throw it off a bridge  (hosted2.ap.org) (173)
(Drew) FarkBlog Duke sucks, a new iPhone app for Fark, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/21 - 3/27  (fark.com) (109)
(The Indy Channel) Hero Scary: cancer patient tries to call for help during a medical emergency but dials the wrong number. Hero: the student on the other end of the line finds a way to help save his life  (theindychannel.com) (116)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida What kind of a creep steals $34 from a kid volunteer collecting donations? This kind  (wtsp.com) (111)
(ABC News) Obvious Politicians unveil iPhone apps that allow their constituents to take a picture and then email it directly to the politician. Early projections anticipate this will allow the public to provide real-time feedback on potholes, penises  (abcnews.go.com) (51)
(Chicago Tribune) Sick Foiled "Christian Militia" attack plan called for assault on police officer and then again on his funeral procession  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (559)
(Some Guy) Obvious The good news about the new airline bagage fees is that they were able to decrease lost bag numbers by 23.8%. The bad news, that still equates to about losing 3000 bags/hr  (gadling.com) (93)
(AFP) Cool Shoemaker Doc Martens celebrates its 50th birthday, and if that name conjures up images of heavy black boots and your favorite Wilson's leather motocycle jacket, it's almost time to start chasing kids off your lawn  (news.yahoo.com) (255)
(USA Today) Interesting Want to be a billionaire? Simple--just design the first social game that can be played equally on Facebook, television, or any handheld device. OK, go  (usatoday.com) (88)
(TampaBays10.com) Spiffy School for the blind gears up for fencing match. What could possibly go wrong?  (wtsp.com) (90)
(Canada.com) Dumbass Many Canadians are obese, but doctors recommend against having stomach surgery for it if your BMI is 28, you're 72-years-old, or you're doing it in Tijuana  (edmontonjournal.com) (91)
(Fox News) Strange Senior citizens busted for Jell-O tampering. Let's see how they wiggle out of this one  (foxnews.com) (44)
(Gizmodo) Silly Forget Jim Morrison. This ping pong table door is the greatest door ever  (gizmodo.com) (64)
(ABC News) Obvious New revelations about the Vatican's role in covering up hundreds of cases of abuse by priests is really putting a kink in the whole "make Pope John Paul II a saint" thing  (abcnews.go.com) (302)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting German university approves plan to train twenty of its students as Gladiators  (thelocal.de) (78)
(Some Crushinator) Strange Man gets blowjob from farmer's daughter; handjob from farmer  (kens5.com) (160)
(Some Incipient Shredded Wheat) Photoshop Photoshop these beds of wheat  (shorpy.com) (42)
(BBC) Strange The Japanese are now using ring tones for weight loss and hay fever therapy. And they say no one makes house calls anymore  (news.bbc.co.uk) (22)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Screenwriter writes apology for "Battlefield Earth" but admits he's strangely proud of it: "Because out of all the sucky movies, mine is the suckiest"  (huffingtonpost.com) (397)
(CBC) Fail 14 year old's mother is too drunk to drive so naturally he a) takes her keys b) calls the cops or c) stabs her?  (cbc.ca) (57)
(3 News New Zealand) Spiffy Billboard which shows Joseph and Mary in bed deemed 'not offensive'  (3news.co.nz) (112)
(Telegraph) Scary More than 120 miners trapped underground in China. This is not a repeat from 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, etc  (telegraph.co.uk) (49)
(ABC News) News Suicide bombers on Moscow rush-hour subway kill at least 35, more than 30 wounded  (abcnews.go.com) (361)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting Some of the most analytical and logical people on the planet are Germans. The majority of Germans no longer believe in "global warming". When asked for comment, Al Gore responded with "Scheisse"  (thelocal.de) (774)
(Some Guys) Photoshop Photoshop this shark snack  (animalpicture.ru) (38)

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