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Farkquently Asked Questions
What people are saying about FARK

(JSOnline) [stupid] Dumbass kids have a party (underage drinking, drug use) and tape it (from ObscureStore)
[Excite] [stupid] Bank of America tries to find a way around the 'high cost' of ATMs.
[Excite] [sick] On the topic of whatI don't want for Christmas -- what I don't want to eat at Christmas.
[Fox News] ["news"] Ty, citing a 'flood of mail' (yeah right), may not stop making Beanie Babies.
(which they never actually said they'd do...they just said they'd 'retire' them all, which drives up the prices)
[Washington Post] [stupid] Black man accused of bank robbery claims he is innocent by reason of cultural insanity caused by longtime exposure to racism.
[BBC] [strange] Holy land overwhelmed with 'Messiahs'
(Farko) [strange] Farko.com. I can't read this but it still looks strange.
[Excite] [stupid] Santa stoned, beaten by children. Wonder who's getting coal this year in their stocking...
[CNN] [interesting] King Midas had strange drinking habits
[Wired] [stupid] More Y2K preparation fun. 25% of people surveyed think they need a date New Years Eve because the world will end
[Wired] [interesting] Many large New Years Eve parties being cancelled for lack of interest
[CNN] [stupid] US government requests more soy in school cafeteria foods
[CNN] [strange] ACLU sues over Cleveland homeless removal policy
December 23, 1999:
[USA Today] [amusing] Guy gets fined $42,800 for sleeping with a married woman
[Excite] [interesting] Brace yourself for catastrophic global warming
(Galaxyquest) [amusing] Created by DreamWorks, it looks like a real Fan site of the Fake series.
(OSentinel) [amusing] Hawk nearly gets a meal out of a chihuahua
(FARK) [survey] What is the worst xmas present you have ever received?
(some page) [misc.] Farkalicious! Fark chicken rolls!
(LBL) [interesting] Virtual Frog Dissection. Over 5 million served. Cut up Fluffy without getting your hands dirty.
(MTV) [stupid] MTV wants to repopulate the world with six 'bunkernauts'. The future of humanity is not only doomed, but mostly white and christian.
[CNN] [interesting] Pokemon aren't the only hot toys this year
(Uselessknowledge) [amusing] Boogers. How and Why.
[Excite] [silly] Have a fortune cookie
(Opensecrets) [interesting] See where all that money has come from in politics
[BBC] [sad] Ross and Phoebe to leave Friends
[BBC] [amusing] This cat had balls
[Excite] [amusing] Britney Spears to be Queen of Mardi Gras
(Spankie) [silly] For all you last minute Christmas shoppers, here's the perfect gift for men. Check out the humor section.
(university of calgary) [interesting] Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump
[LA Times] [interesting] Extra deadly high-tech Army rifle. Just in time for Christmas.
(some guy) [misc.] Thaddeus Fark, All-American Boy
[Excite] [interesting] Review of Fantasia 2000
[Excite] [sick] Canadian teacher asks students to find germ to kill separatists. Says it was a joke
[Fox News] [amusing] Strippers fined for performing macbeth in the buff
[Washington Post] [strange] Scientists are trying to cross jellyfish with monkeys and mice
[eBay] [strange] Beer-drinking armadillo
[eBay] [misc.] Toilet seat clock
[Wired] [amusing] More wacky Y2K stuff
[Wired] [interesting] The most overvalued IPOs of the year
[CNN] [strange] Hibernating bear cam
[CNN] [amusing] John Rocker hates New York, the feeling is mutual
[CNN] [misc.] Dennis Rodman arrested on suspicion of drunken driving
December 22, 1999:
[Excite] [misc.] Oh no not another pope-mobile
(Some Guy) [strange] Roadkill mummys
[eBay] [strange] New Gynecological Speculum- Recommends using as a Ice Tong.
[CapAlert] [silly] CapAlert review of 'Anna and the King'.
[Excite] [strange] Giuliani staying in bulletproof bunker for New Years Eve.
[Excite] [strange] Judge rules wife can be adulterous to have a baby.
(FreeMac) [amusing] Macintosh to give away 1,000,000 iMacs
[eBay] [sick] Vintage Alice Cooper toenail (1974) - 6 bids
(NEIC) [interesting] List of the last 20 or so earthquakes around the world
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Galaxy Quest review (spoiler warning)
[Excite] [stupid] Woman gets her 16 month old kid drunk
[BBC] [amusing] Woman has a stroke - can't stop speaking with a French accent
[BBC] [amusing] Christmas drug 'boom' expected
[Excite] [strange] Man trying to save outhouses
(British Medical Journal) [interesting] Vodka + Vermouth = Good Health
(Slate) [interesting] An interesting Article about the movie 'The Omega Code'.
[Excite] [amusing] Wells Fargo Mail Date:1900
[Salon] [amusing] A look back at the best TV shows of the 90s
December 21, 1999:
(Royal Observatory) [interesting] An effort to clear up questions about the millenium (incase anyone cares)
[Wired] [interesting] etoyssucks.com???
[CNN] [interesting] Scientists have found a plant gene that may help cut down on mowing your grass
(Irish Times) [interesting] Paper or plastic? You might be hearing that next time you cash a check at your bank
[BBC] [sappy] Sean Connery to be knighted
[eBay] [amusing] Genuine snow for sale
[Excite] [amusing] Man assaulted for not bringing a Christmas gift to his girlfriend (he was forked!)
[Brunching] [amusing] Self-Made Critic review of Toy Story 2
[Brunching] [amusing] Findings of _______! - A Microsoft Mad Lib.
[Washington Post] [amusing] People paying for snow
[USA Today] [interesting] Lines lines lines: record theme park attendence in 1999
[USA Today] [interesting] National Education Association time capsule from 1959 openned
[Wired] [stupid] Halfway, Oregon changes its name to Half.com
[Wired] [strange] Windows 2000's links to scientology might prevent its introduction into Germany
December 20, 1999:
(animal love) [sick] Missouri man is happily married to a horse
[Wired] [amusing] More Y2K miscellany
[Excite] [amusing] Tulsa man gets thrown out of a resturant, comes back with swords
[Movie Juice] [amusing] Movie Juice reviews Hurricane
[Washington Post] [sad] Q has died
[Washington Post] [amusing] Police arrest incoherent swordsman near Buckingham Palace
[CNN] [amusing] Annapolis residents berate their town Xmas tree for the second year in a row
[Excite] [stupid] Woman who kept poisonous snakes killed by one of them
[CNN] [stupid] UPN plans prime-time monster truck invasion
(TheTimes) [misc.] For Tomb Raider: download a London Times sponsored level based off of King Tut's tomb
[CNN] [stupid] Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? set to air on Fox
(Sun) [stupid] Idiot climbs into a crocodile pit after his sunglasses
(Omaha) [interesting] Pesticides tested on humans
(MP3) [amusing] A guy calling his band Fark
[Fox News] [strange] Researchers perform a CAT scan on couples having sex
[BBC] [sick] Fiance' and parents fighting over dead guy's sperm
[Salon] [amusing] Here's what to do when mom starts spamming you with email
(Contest) [misc.] Contest - win some soap
(Toaster) [strange] "U and UR toaster" - very weird people
[Yahoo] [stupid] Brazil bans six violent video games after some retard shoots up a theatre. On an unrelated note, he was a coke-head.
[Yahoo] [strange] Woman has lived in a tree for the past two years...
[Excite] [stupid] Residents in Nebraska upset about the stink - want $40million
(SomeGuy) [satire] An interview with Sesame Street's Bert, from jail.
(TeleportCity) [amusing] Review of the 1978 Star Wars Christmas Special. Absolutely hilarious (via robotwisdom)
[CNN] [strange] Australian man convicted of feeding hash cookies to mormons
December 17, 1999:
(EgoSearch) [strange] Pocket farkel
(EgoSearch) [strange] FARKay Noodles
(BumperDumper) [strange] I'd just like to say that I do not want one of these for Christmas.
[Excite] [interesting] Fish plucked from water by heron, dropped down a chimney onto live coals... still able to swim around when put in water
(IrishTimes) [survey] Vote for the worst idea of the century
[Wired] [amusing] Corporations plan on having Y2K parties for their employees who have to work Dec 31st. Plus more Y2K weirdness.
(Contest) [misc.] Contest - win a cue case (I won one 6 months ago - nice!)
[BBC] [amusing] Former Sex Pistols manager is running for mayor of London
[Excite] [strange] Philoophy student wants to be a reptile
(Salt Lake Trib) [amusing] Amish.com? Horse, Buggy Lifestyle Not Immune to Y2K
[CNN] [stupid] A so-called stylish street-level pollution mask
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP finally watched the rest of Southpark. It holds the honor of being the lowest ranked movie CAP has ever reviewed, even lower than Natural Born Killers
[Excite] [strange] It rained a fish in London.
(MicroSith) [amusing] Imagine if 'Darth Paperclip' was the office assistant...
[USA Today] [strange] College basketball player pays $4,000 for a date with Gary Coleman
(PrematureE) [sick] "Anonymous Answers to Life's Embarrassing Questions". You just have to see it
(CNDb) [amusing] We all know the problem with the IMDb-- it tells you what movies someone's been in, but not which ones they get naked in. Luckily, the Celebrity Nudity Database fixes that.
[BBC] [strange] Illegal skateboard driver waits for a sentence
[Excite] [amusing] Amsterdam to get a brothel in their airport (new meaning to lay over!)
(Calvin&Hobbes) [silly] And for more of the holiday spirit, a collection of the Calvin and Hobbes snowmen strips
(Times) [strange] Posh Spice knocks the crap out of a fan who grabbed her child
(nuttin.com) [amusing] You can sell anything over the Internet: hand-crafted nut figures
(Some Guy) [amusing] Evil butt muppets
(kcstar.com) [sad] Stuffed cat toys made from real cat fur
[MSNBC] [amusing] Bid on invite to H. Hefner's New Year's bash
December 16, 1999:
(ScienceDaily) [interesting] UMass researcher finds link between popularity and lying
(Barney) [strange] Oldstyle Barney shoot-em-up
(BritSpeak) [amusing] Learn English as a second language (for Americans)
(Darwin) [stupid] Darwin Awards
[Excite] [stupid] Kid shoots himself in the neck with an arrow
[Wired] [amusing] 16 days til Y2K: a collection of weird Y2K related happenings
[Wired] [strange] Mahir ("I KISS YOU!!!!!") begins a two-week tour of the US
(PBS) [amusing] Day traders fail at the same rate as regular gamblers (via Robotwisdom)
(Newsweek) [interesting] Corporate america losing their tech employees to dot-com companies
(eCrap.com) [stupid] So I was thinking, I need to get some more domain names for Fark. Unfortunately, this one was already taken. (and they're actually trying to sell something)
(WebMD) [amusing] Sexual side effects of various medicines. (Look at the last one of 'clomipramine')
[Yahoo] [strange] Daria movie to be made - Bif Naked is one of the 'celebrity' voices
[ZDNet] [strange] Compaq tries to woo new sales with PC that looks like a toaster
[USA Today] [strange] UK profs translate "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" into Latin - 27,000 copies sold already
(CNews) [stupid] Finally! Some news in Iowa: Des Moines ranked #1 in Jello consumption.
[Washington Post] [amusing] Chernobyl nuclear plant is absolutely Y2K ready - engineers vacation far away anyway
[Salon] [sad] Save Ben & Jerry's!
[Excite] [amusing] Bank robber bungles his getaway plans
(Brazilian Ad Campaign) [silly] mmmMMMMmmm! Cable-licious.
[BBC] [amusing] Why soft drinks are so much more expensive in bars
(AltaVista) [strange] Direct marketting pork
(AltaVista) [misc.] Clinton says he would like to see Pete Rose admitted to the Baseball Hall of Fame
(Some Guy) [stupid] BeastlyCat.com. Some people have too much time on their hands...
(Some Guy) [strange] Gothic Babe of the Week. Now with 20% more leather. Amazingly irony-free.
[Yahoo] [silly] Boy George was almost killed by a giant disco.
Tofurkey.com [amusing] Tofu turkey. Proceeds to turkey adoption program
(Some guy) [amusing] The guide to wacky court cases, including the full text of The United States vs Satan
December 15, 1999:
[Excite] [misc.] DB Cooper doesn't even make the top 10 crimes of the century.
[Salon] [amusing] The 9 days of Christmas my housecat gave to me
(Mashed.Pota.to) [strange] Santa rampage in Chicago (A diary)
[Excite] [interesting] New fridge with see through doors
[Washington Post] [strange] Drivers sing Jingle Bells to get out of tickets
[CNN] [misc.] It's almost Christmas time, a time for...drinking. Here's some eggnog info.
(IrishTimes) [amusing] Mormons given marijuana biscuits
(Contest) [misc.] Contest - win a hammock
[BBC] [strange] School bullies are the happiest and most healthy students
[BBC] [strange] British tourist eaten by lions
[Excite] [amusing] Millenium condoms! (17% of polled virgins plan to be 'cured' on new years)
(FishyNews) [amusing] Evil Clown movies should be banned!
[The Onion] [satire] Y2K survival tips
[Scoop This] [amusing] The Litterbox - with Dusty, the fat bitter cat
(MSN) [interesting] The Cost of Raising kids
[Excite] [amusing] Man robs store with a snake
(frak.com) [misc.] Frak.com - a reader typoed and ended up here. A bunch of VRML worlds.
[CNN] [interesting] Taking vitamins may aid cancer
(an apology) [stupid] It seems that one of my fixes to the 'suggestion' program resulted in deleting all items in the queue. If you submitted something, and didn't see it appear on fark, please resubmit it. we now return you to your regularly scheduled procrastination. --Joe
[Washington Post] [amusing] Gore promotes legalized marijuana (for medical purposes)
[The Onion] [satire] Man of the Millennium - Death
(CentralFlorida) [strange] 2 planes land on top of each other - no injuries
[CNN] [interesting] MTV being investigated for anti-trust activity
(AltaVista) [strange] Marv Albert to return to NBC
December 14, 1999:
[CNN] [misc.] Charles Shultz to retire Peanuts strip (almost 40 years to the day after the last funny Peanuts strip was published
[Excite] [misc.] Protest group out to destroy eToys
(No Amazon) [misc.] No Amazon
(Salt Lake Tribune) [stupid] Speaking English No Longer a Must For Jury Duty
(Salt Lake Tribune) [interesting] A Christ of A Different Persuasion
[CNN] [interesting] House cat gives birth to African Wildcat
(SunTimes) [amusing] Dunkin Donuts no longer allowed to call itself kosher
[eBay] [amusing] Underwear for sale on E-Bay. Some used. With many bids.
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP reviews The Green Mile. Actually likes it. WARNING: CAP spoils the ending (jerk)
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP reviews End of Days, hates it so bad it almost scores lower than Natural Born Killers on his index
(MuppetLabs) [interesting] Explaining the Theory of Relativity with words of 4 letters or less (via robotwisdom)
[Wired] [interesting] If the power goes out on Y2K, it might be due to something other than software
[CNN] [interesting] Women's US soccer team wins Sports Illustrated's 1999 Sportsman of the Year award
(AltaVista) [amusing] KKK chapter closed for lack of interest
[CNN] [amusing] The impact of PCs on Europeans
(NYPost) [sick] Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) creator busted in kid-sex scandal
(St. Louis Tribune) [misc.] Women's professional football
December 12, 1999:
[eBay] [stupid] Items for sale on ebay containing l@@k and 10 !s
(SubExpo) [amusing] Buy your own russian submarine

You are schmo number ____ to have visited this humble page. We expect to go public next year by the way, so save your money.