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| Sun May 16, 2021 |
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Roller coaster stops coasting
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CNN to use the Marvel Comics method, ending CNN Tonight with Don Lemon. Tune in tomorrow night for issue 1 of Don Lemon Tonight on CNN
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Nope. Just...nope
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Jesus (and vaccine) saves
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It's the eye of the tiger. No, seriously, it's the eye of the tiger
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Things have gone off the rails in Iowa. (Not a repeat from yesterday, that was Minnesota)
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Photoshop this Madonna and Child
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Palm Springs residents horrified by giant statue of Marilyn Monroe with billowing dress. "The thought of kids leaving our museum and having the first thing they see is the undergarments and underwear of this enormous sculpture [is] highly offensive"
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New study from the Romero Institute says unvaccinated people will lie about being vaccinated
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With 835 acres burned, 0% containment, and with a marine layer instead of Santa Anas, maybe this should called the "Harbinger Fire"? That or have a stranger with red paint change the name on the state's "Welcome to" signs
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All Brits must drink 124 pints each. And....go
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Washington state cops clearly know how to spot drug-laden cars as police dog detects drugs at 100% of traffic stops
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Walking along the beach must be very painful
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Boston trust-fund babies cry into their pillows as residents of San Francisco, Seattle, and NYC (just for starters) wonder what's so weird about this story
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this cliffhanger
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If experiencing the bloom of a flower that looks like a misshapen penis and smells like rotting flesh is on your bucket list, get that checklist out
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If you're a non-functional country, threatening to seize the powerships supplying you with electricity, after 18 months of nonpayment, is a pretty bold strategy
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The Merriam-Webster word of the day for May 16 is 'Magnum Opus' as in: "Berkeley Breathed's Magnum Opus was not well received by fans, many of whom could not picture a penguin as a hard-boiled detective"
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Universities are winning lawsuits from students demanding refunds for remote learning. Fark: By arguing that the "campus experience" is worthless and the education is all that matters
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Online hero reveals how to mute gas pump ads so we can all just return to the peace of huffing fumes maskless while preparing our hoarder inventory
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Heedless enthusiasts found in topless cars
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Woman draws her bath for a nice relaxing moment of pleasure, finds a whole lot of NOPE in the tap
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Big pharma executives were concerned about people being negatively affected by their products. Just kidding, they called them Pillbillies
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The Moon?
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| (Some Activity) |
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Photoshop these fair archers
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| (Some Stranded Traveler) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: Airline Adventures
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"We're done with the Cape"
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What's the one thing that health experts, labor groups and business leaders can all agree on? The new CDC mask rules are a failure
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Damon Weaver, journalism legend, homeboy of two presidents, passes away at 23
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God as my witness, I didn't know whales could fly
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Cop math: more incredible when you add time to the equation
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Father of the Florida Lottery dies at ... 1 ... 0 ... 0
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The Guardian turns 200 this month, so they're sharing their 200 funniest headlines
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Los Angeles is trying to end the Skid Row homeless crisis, though the Bon Jovi crisis continues
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You're doing it wrong
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"We are happy to report that the missing tiger seen in a Houston neighborhood last week has been found and appears to be unharmed." In other news, the same neighborhood reports a dramatic increase in the number of missing dog and cat flyers
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Latest Navy UFO video brings weirdness to a new out of this world level
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Torn from the headlines of 1870....er, I mean 2021: Montana man receives prison sentence for cattle rustling
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A rash of beehive thefts has hit the French beekeeping community and the victims suspect their fellow beekeepers because who the fark else would want thousands of bees?
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What's one thing which will unite farmers, ranchers, rednecks, businessmen, politicians, environmentalists, tribal leaders, and states' rights folks? Water
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And just like that, he drove to a parking lot and told the security guard: 'There are three dead guys in the Chevy'
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| Sat May 15, 2021 |
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Bloomsburg University is doing away with Greek life. Effective immediately, no more fraternities and sororities, both local and national. Double secret probation, indeed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Noise Factor returns for episode 2 on Big E Radio at 11PM ET. Some experimental sounds and a couple of super fun covers. Also, after a lengthy search, Super Heavy Goat Ass has been found
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Things have gone off the rails in Minnesota
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wienermobile delivers wieners to the elderly, disabled, and those who would otherwise be unable to afford or receive weiners
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Detroit loses its last revenue stream as restaurant owner decides to relabel poorly marketed parking spaces to save people from tickets without help from the city. Followup will presumably see him in irons
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Bashir resigns for health reasons ahead of report that will be critical of his handling of scoring the Princess Di interview, but we all know that's BS and that it's because he's going on a mission for Section 31
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| (Some Houses) |
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Photoshop medieval Dorset
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Hassenpfeffer probably isn't one of the "what do we do" options
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The DJ is working tonight, so instead of the Triple Play, Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) will bring you back to 1957 for some select Stan Freberg Radio Shows
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It's just that older drivers have a one track mind
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Royalty peers down on commoners, lifts monocle, decides that free speech is "bonkers"
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That's why you don't take a rake to a gunfight
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The only thing dumber than bringing a knife to a gunfight is bringing a gun-shaped knife to a fight with a cop
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Step aside, hipster grandpa
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A couple filming porn on a sacred mountain. A Russian Instagrammer launches his motorbike off a dock crashing into the sea. Two YouTube pranksters fool a supermarket guard with drawn-on face masks violating the island's health rules. Welcome to Bali
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| (Some Guy) |
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The United Church of Bacon? Yes, The United Church of Bacon
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| (Some Game) |
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Photoshop this bank shot game
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Disneyworld guests get lost in Splash Mountain. Just remember only the penitent man will pass
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Man chains parking boot to pole, sends ticket to police. It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how it works out
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Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. For International Astronomy Day, we take inspiration from the Sombrero galaxy, the Pinwheel Galaxy, etc: Design for us, using any medium, a new galaxy and name it after what it resembles
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78-year-old graduates from Samford University in Alabama with her Bachelors degree. She's now looking to get her Master's next
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America's population is slow growing and that is a problem
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K9 bites cow, SC deputy Tases K9, cow kicks deputy. Taah-daaah
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Well, those gay penguins are doing it again
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Jail? Ain't nobody got time for that
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Uh, what? Summer vacations are sold out already?
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South Carolina gonna South Carolina
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What would Founding Father George Washington look like today? Photoshop has the answer
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Old and busted: The Tide Pod challenge. New hotness: The Edward challenge
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| (Nose Gal) |
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Photoshop this nose gadget
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When you're a police officer arresting the first Black person you see in a particular area, make sure he's not a retired Supreme Court judge
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"We're just all in tears over this cat and this poor family that, unfortunately, is having to be separated because of a really sad life situation. We are flat determined to find this cat an amazing home." Come have a Dr. Pepper on Caturday
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Surfing eBay looking for a little sumtin' sumtin' is coming to an end soon
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Harry tosses Granny under the lorry (possible nsfw content on page)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Look, all we want is to make to-go cocktails for our customers. The liquor stores sell booze and the customers don't drink it there. Restaurants offer walk out meals with booze. Why not us?
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The Secret Garden isn't in a book, it's in Rhode Island
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Americans plan to invade Canada with their sparkling vaccinated bodies, glistening with droplets and their immune biceps flexing next to Pfizer hair like it's nothing
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Coming soon: Battlebots - Mars Edition
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Toronto cyclists can now enjoy a slightly reduced chance of being killed
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Self Contained Underwater Cleaning Apparatus
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| Fri May 14, 2021 |
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It was like propane bottle rockets
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Not news: being trapped by an avalanche while mountaineering in Glacier. News: being trapped by an avalanche while bicycling in Glacier
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Ireland's healthcare system is shut down due to ransomware attack and across the US Americans begin hoarding gas
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'Hero' tag trumps 'Florida' and 'Woofday' tags in this case
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| (Some Guy) |
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Do you know any of these men? A couple got married in 1957 and the photo lab refused to return the pictures because they were deemed obscene
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India refusing to let the army assist or aid Covid victims
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Your mom's been busy swallowing plastic amongst other things again
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Six-year-old leukemia survivor is getting their wish thanks to the Texas Department of Transportation. Little Archer will get to blow shiat up
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| (Some Guy) |
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New Jersey doubles down on its image by dumping chicken guts and feet on highway
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German court declares missing billionaire dead after 3 years according to plan
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Beachgoers warned to stay away from monk seals as they haven't finished their celibacy vows yet
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| (Some Guys) |
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Photoshop this generational gardening
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CT maritime aquarium seeks volunteer divers to swim with their sharks. Article does not really say what happened to the last ones
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A woman driving a van... Decided to run down a man. She now sits in jail, she couldn't make bail. Nor did she think out her plan
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Trip advisor says it is "concerned" that anyone took any of the content on their site seriously
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Trader Joe's will no longer require customers to wear masks inside stores. Removing small parking lots remains non-negotiable
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Anyone taking bets on what race this guy is? Anyone?
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Canadians decide to ignore the variants, line their underpants with other people's used Kleenex and greet each other by high-fiving with unrefrigerated mayonaise
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why yes, you can turn a half sunken car carrier into a floating tire fire
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Mississippi Supreme Court voids marijuana legalization amendment passed by a wide margin, on the basis that amending the state constitution requires signatures from all five Congressional districts, but MS only has four since 2001. Checkmate, libs
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Busy. It's a little...busy
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India's Covid outbreak caused by loitering youths
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Texas landlord arrested for murdering tenant in a 14 year-old cold case
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Boom. Dam
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"Historic Lake Superior lighthouse available at no cost to right owner"
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Photoshop these wrestlers
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Don't hurt L'il Covid. Viruses need love too (possible nsfw content on page)
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Police confirmed a Utah woman was killed when she was pulled into a mattress manufacturing machine
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The gas pipeline hackers got hacked, lost all their cash and control of their network. World's smallest violin heard playing
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Thousands of Jordanian protesters trying to reach King Hussain Bridge which leads to the occupied Palestine. No word if they brought any dimes
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Cops shoot and kill a six-month-old puppy because. A) It growled at them. B) It licked them C) To put it out of its misery after its owner allegedly locked him in a cage and set it on fire
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And the children shall lead them
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Super Blood Moon Eclipse on May 26 will be a very big deal
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Look, if you're going to steal 14 cases of beer, at least make it something worth the risk
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Mysterious deed claims new ownership of Jeffrey Epstein's New Mexico ranch
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I see your burnt down Hummer and raise you a burnt down Pontiac with the driver still inside
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Police looking for two men who slashed at least three people on NYC subway. As expected, no one saw a thing
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Usually you only see this in the country
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A Slatesplanation of why Iraq was a Liberal war
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Don't smoke and sanitize
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Old and busted: Road rage. New hotness: Boat rage
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Portugal, tired of clean beaches and all these pesky Portuguese words, to begin allowing Brits back in on Monday
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| (Some Monkey) |
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Tired: We need to give everyone a basic income. Inspired: We need to eliminate money. Wired: We need to give money to animals
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Ice cream sales fall off a cliff
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Unmasked, do not harass the masked
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Police were initially suspicious because a video store was still in business in this day and age
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Georgia woman takes on Florida. Finds it a drag
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Today is National Decency Day, so let's all take a moment to be kind to each other, to show respect to other people's points of view, and to appreciate how wonderful Subby is for posting this headline
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Go away Boss .... Baitin' (possible nsfw content on page)
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CVS worker arrested for trying to give out fake vaccination cards
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Hotblack Desiato almost laughs at the lack of commitment of people who say they will move for tax reasons and then don't follow through
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Get ready for billions of cicadas to darken the skies
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Nine wounded in Rhode Island shooting, nearly 30% of the state
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Police union: Our members can't feed their families on only $94,000 per year
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Are you gay and live in Idaho or Montana? Congratulations, you're a sex offender
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US pulls military personnel from Israel, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?
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Suez 2: Mississippi Boogaloo
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San Diego police officer reach out to help connect homeless man to vital services... no, wait, scratch that - they tackle him for urinating in public and repeatedly punch him in the face before hauling him off to jail
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OK, who wants to see Larry Flint's FBI file?
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God hates these elephants in particular. Giraffes get an inexplicable reprieve
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Who steals $31,000 worth of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
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Fringe scientists still believe in Wuhan lab escape Covid conspiracy theory
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Photoshop this snarling squirrel
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Israeli air strikes destroy office building housing 13 media outlets, including the Hamas Gazette
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Post-It notes inventor goes Post-Its up
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| (Some Guy) |
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No single state has passed a 50% vaccination rate for its population, so it's entirely unclear on what data the CDC based its decision to unmask the vaccinated
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Wedding rings: the newest neckwear fashion for Australian fish
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Robert Durst, the guy who confessed to murder in the greatest documentary ending ever, has asked for an indefinite postponement of his murder trial on the grounds that he has untreated bladder cancer and will be stone dead soon enough
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Oklahoma woman gets a shocking surprise from her laptop
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Cyberattack strikes the DC police department
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12 out of 900 is a low percentage, so I'm told by a math major
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Five Brazilian Nationals charged in ID theft ring in San Diego. That's a lot of baseball players
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Something that has gone up during the pandemic? Street racing
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California woman's money laundering mishap results in $26 million loss
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You may have holy furniture
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Man arrested for riding in the back seat of his driverless Tesla. Again
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| Thu May 13, 2021 |
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R.I.P. Canada, 1867-2021
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Governor DeSantis (R-FL) signs bill into law, making to-go alcohol sales permanent, proving even broken clocks can be right twice daily, unless digital
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OVERHEIGHT. MUST TURN. You have been warned. This time
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It's not all alcoholism, morbid obesity, religious sectarianism and street violence. Sometimes subby is proud to be a Glaswegian
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Good news to all you frontline heroes. Ohio is ready to send you back to your poverty wages just in time for the June onslaught of unvaccinated people without masks. We salute you, Ohio heroes, for the 18,304 dollars a year that your lives are worth
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An introduction to asshole cat behaviors, the first article in a million part maxi-series
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47 rabbits rescued from extended stay hotel after woman brought in 3 and they started farking like rabbits
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This Saturday protection from Covid won't be the only reason to wear a mask. Brace yourself for National Slider Day
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this staring contest
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Florida Man found hiding under pool deck after going off the deep end while driving
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On this day in history, in 1940, Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat," apparently choosing to not mention drunken insults and speeches
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Tyger, tyger on the lam / in the suburbs in a van / what Texan halfwit's crackpot scheme / would lead to such dumbassery?
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7 PM Eastern - it's the Fark News Livestream, Sex Club Gas Bag Pipeline Hack edition
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| (Some Guy) |
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The pandemic is almost over, which means your long halcyon months of pantlessness are coming to end. But don't fret -- here's a list of the 10 best pants for men you can buy. Go on, get dressed today
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'Welsh people shag sheep. Temptation is there but the static shock wouldn't be worth it.'
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12-year-old trapped in quicksand while fishing. Hey, remember when we thought quicksand would be a bigger problem than it actually is?
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Ebay skips the MadLibs and heads straight for the Word Salad: A chicken nugget that looks like Lady Elaine, plus accompanying NFT
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More than two dozen semiautomatic rifles owned by the city of Miami Police Department are missing. Not stolen, M-I-S-S-I-N-G
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Every corpse on Mt Everest was once an extremely motivated person
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You enter the house and see THAT. Turn around and leave or continue the tour?
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Former coal mines in Northeast England being assessed for geothermal conversion. Workers can be retrained or just go back to being male strippers
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It's not often you see the words 'sex-addict Grandad' in a headline, but yet here we are
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Photoshop this strange scene
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| (Some Hermit) |
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And we're sure everyone traveling this Memorial Day Weekend are fully vaccinated and will observe all social distancing protocols. Also, pigs can fly, the Earth really is flat, and my wife Morgan Fairchild just made me the most delicious sandwich
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Woman assaulted by meat at Walmart
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How do you do, fellow students?
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Hunters need very good eyesight, steady hand to hunt mosquitoes from a helicopter
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University of South Carolina president resigns after plagiarizing commencement speech, urging graduates to wear sunscreen
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Not news: London shop to close, due to pandemic and high rent. Holy fark: The business has been trading for 500 years
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Tree trimmer arrested after taking inspiration from Sweeney Todd
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Truss crack on I-40 Mississippi River bridge probably big enough to see from Google Maps
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Bet you didn't know that in New Jersey there is a dreamy and glamorous world of post-vaccinated senior living
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Doctor Fauci says Americans may now go maskless when outside. Braless remains a personal decision
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The mysterious case of overseas US personnel having their brains fried continues
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Well, at least they got their truck back, so there's that
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Happy 71st Birthday to Stevie Wonder. Here he is giving the best televised performance of his career
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Laclede Cab driver 'flabbergasted' to learn passenger robbed a Clayton bank
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When life hands you lemons you make lemonade. When life gives you a truck full of flaming lemons you hope for a semi full of salmon steaks to crash into it
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The US is finally turning the tide against Covid
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Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Ultravox, Joy Division, Gary Numan, and Brilliant Corners. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #217. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Old and busted: Fishing nets to catch sea food. New hotness: Fishing nets to collect dead bodies floating down the Ganges River before they become sea food
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Military veterans asked to share dumbest things they ever did in uniform, but looking back, now seem kind of funny. Any Farkers have any good ones?
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For the low, low price of just £10,000 you can watch a woman give birth to her fourth child on her OnlyFans account. Breast milk not included
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To the 3 women who left a severed pig's head and blood on the door of a police officer who testified on behalf of Derek Chauvin: You're not helping
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Royal Mail to issue Prince Philip memorial stamps, commemorating moments like asking an Aborigine if he was still throwing spears, telling a 13-year-old boy he's too fat to be an astronaut, and telling a policewoman she looked like a suicide bomber
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Apparently the writer of this story isn't aware of small rugs and dumpsters. Just saying
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Florida Man: I dare you to arrest me. Florida cop: OK
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Colonial Pipeline paid $5M in ransom to get a janky decryption key so slow they had to resort to system backups anyway
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Someone actually follows Florida Man around to see what he does all day. Just a carjacking, a hit-and-run and a robbery inside a grocery store
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Never ask a psychic for a refund
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Residents of a small town complain about a) people who won't wear masks, b) drug trafficking, or c) noise from a new pickleball court
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Richmond gas station programs pumps to sell gas at $6.99/gallon. Let's see if anyone notices
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As Americans face a gas shortage British motorists fill up their cars with tea
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Have you ever been so hot people called the police on you?
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Must have been a tourist
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Florida man hoarding gas determined to go out in blaze of glory
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Murderer doing a life sentence in a non-death penalty state realizes he's got a "freebie" and decides to cash it in by killing his child-rapist cellmate
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What could possibly go wrong at a high school track-and-field javelin throw?
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Photoshop this moody man
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Today's Slatesplanation: The worst thing about going back to the office again. Yes, it's pooping
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China has arrested and imprisoned hundreds of imams, and demolished thousands of mosques. Global community: *crickets*
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No seriously. Get off this guy's lawn
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Maine eyes tighter controls on pesticide use at schools, evidently based on principle that not all students are pests
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After Covid breakout at Changi Airport, Singapore to shut down everything for 2 weeks except facilities for ticketed passengers and essential airport workers
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Ferrari poorly parked with one wheel over the curb. Apparently, this is news in New Zealand
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When headlines collide: Times Square shooting suspect arrested after he and his girlfriend ran out of gas in Florida
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Oh, skydiving over Colorado, cool. OK maybe not if it's two aircraft and one deployed a parachute
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More accurate headline for important info: COVID vaccine, doing what it should physiologically, is causing a spike in reported "abnormal" mammograms that is being exacerbated by the sheer volume of women flocking back to regular imaging practices
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"HSI says he may look different from his photo as he has since been shot in the face"
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Why would you build a two story outhouse?
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 836: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 16". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 12, 2021 |
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Looks like Arkansas has a pretty bad case of Tyson-19
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The South will have gas again in a few days, sooner depending on their diet
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It's time to dust off your airliner
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Ohio to really make COVID a life or death lottery by rescinding all health orders and offering a million dollar prize to get vaccinated
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Ah Spring. The weather gets warmer, The flowers begin to bloom and the weatherwomen begin to multiply
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The flying of Nazi and Confederate flags prompt investigation of possible hate crime in, Canada?
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Fark NotNewsletter: Don't stress about getting gas
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Photoshop this RNA
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A New Zealand One Shoes employee stands accused of taking covert photos of his customers and co-workers before committing sexual acts with their footwear. Will be hoofing his way to jail
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PSA: If you a buying a new car using a stolen identity it's really not a good idea to let the dealership take a picture of you with your new whip
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Cops, are you sure you got the right guy? Guy: *thumbs up*
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2-year-old shoots parents and the recoil takes him out before he can finish them off
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The coolest high temperature on May 12th in the Raleigh, NC area was 58. This record was set in 1960. Today's Raleigh high was 57. Subby's crazy uncle: "Where's your global warming now?"
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Come for the Magic Eye carpet, stay for the exhibitionist bathtub
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18 images show hoarders' response to the gas shortage: barreling it like Walter White's cash, topping off Jacuzzi-sized plastic tanks which threaten to snap truck axles, and loading car trunks with trash bags filled with flammable, flammable gas
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A headline on Fark \ Yes, it is Limerick Day \ nope, let's do Haiku. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, National Limerick Day Haiku edition
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Judge determines that there were multiple aggravating factors in the Derek Chauvin trial. Welcome to the party, pal
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Photoshop this Roidflake
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You see, the key to being a penguin at the London Aquarium is to kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's biatch. Then everything will be okay
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Israel vows to make things go boom until things stop going boom
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Utah restaurant bar requiring vaccination card and ID. Of course the mouthbreathers have a problem with this
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Welcome to My NIghtmare ... if your nightmare is being quarantined on a cruise ship
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Slacker millennials fail at criming
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My lover stands on a golden bridge and watches the ships that go sailing...right into it
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Stealing a 300 pound sacred work of art? Most thieves wouldn't touch that with an 11 foot pole
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Headline: Yoopers butthurt by Michigan maps that omit them. Article: Yoopers don't really care if their area is left off the map
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One of the few bridges to cross the Mississippi river is now closed for emergency maintenance. River traffic is also stopped. Happy Infrastructure Week America
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Chicago traffic impacted by construction, spontaneous release of 1,000 feral cats onto city streets
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Judge denies defense request to recognize expert testimony provided by Dr. Mommy from Facebook University
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Instagram model posts butt photos, film at 11 [possibly NSFW]
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| (Some Guy) |
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Colonial Pipeline posts a key job about a week late
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Beware grammar Nazis, there's an Indian numerologist among us who now wants to cure the world of the coronavirus with bad spelling
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Yesterday: US warns citizens not to panic and horde gas after pipeline hack. Today: US hit with fuel shortages as panicked drivers fill up tanks after pipeline hack
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Solid advice from the Consumer Product Safety Commission
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How many crank calls can you make from the same number to the emergency services for the sole purpose of insulting them before the police turn up at your door? In Spain it's over 9000
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CBP officials destroy cow dung 'cakes' left behind at airport: 'That is not a typo'
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How to screw with the mistress of your (ex)boyfriend like a BOSS
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This really should have no explaining to do because they're TikTokers, but why are London teens getting themselves stuck in toddler swings?
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| (Some Limericky Guy) |
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A flea and a fly in a flue / Were imprisoned, so what could they do? / Said the fly, "let us flee" "Let us fly" said the flea. / So they flew through a flaw in the flue. Happy National Limerick Day
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Well, it worked for Josie Geller
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this adept audiophile
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After a family fostering a dog found out that she had the same rare heart condition as their daughter, they decided that it was preordained that Annie was to be part of their family permanently & adopted her just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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"Hey, let's go hiking in this area called 'Certain Death'. What could possibly go wrong?"
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Woman who runs a pizza van decides to use her business social media account to ask her followers to dress in KKK robes to counter a BLM protest. Followed by the decision to go with the good old "my account was hacked" excuse
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59% of people say they want to try something new this summer, if you know what I mean and I think you do
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Stupid Florida teens set up on the rooftop of a Manhattan hotel with BB guns and shoot at New Yorkers down below. Because Florida
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State of Emergency declared in literal state of emergency
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Good Morning Britain host declares "The Queen is dead" failing to realize she was, in fact, alive
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Anti-vaxxer claims society is treating them just like Hitler treated the Jews
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Facebook enforcement of RTFA... may threaten some news aggregate websites running on Makers Mark
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Australian navy ship drops two dead whales at San Diego's front door. I remember when my cat did that. Stank for days
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Forget about cats and dogs - in Australia, it rains mice
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If you run out of updraft in a glider in mountainous terrain, look for a smooth surface to land on, like this guy did
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I am a brown bear for the county And I drive the main road Searchin' in the sun for another overload
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| (Some Guy) |
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RCMP report beaver stole farmer's fence posts, Prime Minister to address shaken nation shortly
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Area crowd passionate protestors of what they imagine digital Covid vaccine records to be
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Fark-ready headline: "Indian government says 5G doesn't cause COVID-19. Also points out India has no 5G networks"
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Panic buying fools are making the gas situation worse
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| Tue May 11, 2021 |
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Estate of 54 year old man may want to seek refund from anger management class provider
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"Not guilty, Your Honor, and we'll be needing a white jury"
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It's a ghost car
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Tesla driver videoed driving from the back seat identified, given a free trip to Santa Rita courtesy of CHP
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I ain't sayin' it's right but I understand.jpg
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Breaking: I-40 Bridge over the Mississippi River
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New Study: 99.7% of hospitalized Covid patients were not vaccinated. Your move, antivaxers
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Fotoshop these fashionable fellows
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Thankfully schools are reopening as COVID rates drop. Unless, of course, you bring in bad food for a staff luncheon
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Florida woman, unsure on the definition of designated driver, is arrested for dui after hitting three cars in the bar's parking lot causing her own car to burst into flames. The intoxicrats
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French soldiers warn of impending civil war, a terrifying prospect of brother attempting to surrender to brother
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Boy sells Pokemon cards to help raise money for puppy's Parvo treatment, casting a level 10 Onion Chop on entire community. It's super effective
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Megalodon shark bares its rows of huge terrifying teeth in close encounter with diver off Florida. Okay just a regular bull shark, but it's still all about the perspective
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Feeling lonely? How about taking the "world's loneliest bus route," a nearly 500-mile-long and extremely rugged but beautiful ride from Fairbanks, Alaska, up to the Arctic Ocean
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Always check your screen name before you log into Zoom criminal court, Buttfarker 3000 [NSFW language]
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Well with an address like that, what else was it going to look like?
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Smoking hot, large breasted, semi clothed, Florida woman wakes up in her car in a 7/11 parking lot in the middle of the night. Meets the police. Does some tests
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this sewing machine operator
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Keep me stoat in the boat, laddies. Keep me stoat in the boat. Pull me Guinness slow, O'Reilly. Pull me Guinness slow
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Meet the people who want to keep wearing masks indefinitely -- and not for health reasons. "I don't want to feel the pressure of smiling at people to make sure everyone knows I'm 'friendly' and 'likable.' It's almost like taking away the male gaze"
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Good news, everybody. According to one of the NYC mayoral candidates, the median price for a home in Brooklyn is around $100,000. Hurry up and grab one before they're all gone
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Gossip columns imply Jeffrey Epstein caused Bill Gates's divorce, but really it was the marriage as a subscription service and forced downloads that ended things
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On this day in history, in 1969, the battle for Hamburger Hill began, a controversial, costly, and ultimately senseless effort rivaled only in futility by the subsequent battles for Burrito Bluff, Reuben Ridge, or the Croque Monsieur Mountains
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No, no they aren't
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The last time I saw a police cruiser wreck this ridiculous, it involved two guys in suits and sunglasses claiming to be on a mission from God
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Today is National Twilight Zone Day, so find someone you don't like and wish them away into the cornfield
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Fark ready headline of the day: "Fortnite banana's nude body briefly becomes focus of Epic v Apple trial"
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Former anti-maskers ready to start masking up to "protect" themselves from the vaccinated
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Madlibs headline: "Rapping Senior Citizen Dancers Beat Back Asian Hate in San Francisco Chinatown"
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Hideous footballfish found washed up on California beach has the Internets freaked out
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About 205 Rhode Islands
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Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Echo & The Bunnymen, Adam Ant, and Original Mirrors. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #216. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Sorta News: Houston man wanted on murder charge. News: Captured after attempting to flee in his Jeep. Fark: The tiger that was in the back seat is still MIA
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Zoomers are leading the fashionscape with the latest trend... mom jeans
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Driving without taillights? Let's check the color chart... hmm... yep, that's a dragging from your car and an arresting
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Farmer and his family receive death threats after asking vegan cafe to serve "real" milk, and now the cafe is getting death threats too. Death threats for everyone
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Moose spotted in the UConn
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Mormon mommy blogger coming to terms with the fact that the "sex trafficking raid" she participated in 7 years ago to save kids from Clinton-like pedophiles actually accomplished nothing positive. Like most mommy blogs, actually
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Italian food, corporate earnings, the Oscars, and other Rich People Things are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 25-May 1: The Perils of Ordering From eBay Edition
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You're fishing when a gator shows up and chases you. Do you A. Run away? B. Climb a tree? of C. Back away while you shoot video of the gator, trip and fall, run TOWARDS the gator, then follow it back toward the water, saying "Hey buddy, c'mere"?
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If you live in Colorado, the chances of you getting a call about your cars warranty is going way down. Just kidding. It's about to get worse, waaaay worse
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Tatar tots shot
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Angela Merkel's replacement may end up being a 40-year-old professional trampolinist who's presumably been out of work since The Man Show went off the air
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The "Carolina Squat" is not what you think. It's dumber
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this xam
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Family members clearing out their deceased father's home make a discovery that better have a damn good explanation but probably doesn't
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It's your weekly Fark Gardening Thread - come in for sage advice or just tales of trowel and error
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Seven in 10 Americans say they've become smarterer the past year due to the pandemic
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Injecting bleach, hydroxychloroquine or using lightbulbs in unapproved ways won't cure covid. Neither will rubbing cow poop all over yourself
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Old and busted: bricks of heroin found in luggage. New smelliness: cakes of cow dung found in luggage
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"Yo brah, is it cool to have so many people out here on this balcony? Looks like it might collapse" "Nah brah, we're good. Have another PBR." Two seconds later
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Oregon cop fired for not arresting other Oregon cop who got fired
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Police score $13,000 worth of booze for their upcoming Policeman's Ball. Oh, and also break up an illegal party with 150 mask-less idiots
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China hacks Russian submarine design bureau, skims designs, backs out in terror
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Old and busted: Block someone on Twitter. New hotness: Nuke someone on Twitter
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| (constative.com) |
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Not to be meme or anything, but here is every state summed up with a representative photo
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Meanwhile in Japan, 35-year-old man was playing video games so loudly that his infuriated 48-year-old brother stabbed him, but didn't FINISH HIM
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In case you think police not counting police shootings is unique: hundreds of fires are linked to firefighter arsonists, but it's an estimate because no one is counting
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NC declares state of emergency
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Stay-at-home means stay-at-home. Your household's social bubble is a legal thing, now. The Canadian pandemic response is getting real
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And fark this highway in particular
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