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| Sun June 21, 2020 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Meet Lordwarg. Okay, now you can forget about him
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again
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Nova Scotia mass shooter withdrew nearly a half million in cash before the shootings directly from a Brinks depot which is consistent with how police informants are paid. Things are getting weird
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Mayor takes down all flags to prevent their being destroyed by 'outside groups' in Bowling Green Flag Massacre. Angry patriot puts up personal flags. The Aristocrats
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The Tennessean newspaper announces it is launching a thorough investigation into how a racist, right wing ad was allowed to run in some terrible newspaper called "The Tennessean"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this busy mom
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Petition to rename Columbus, OH to Flavortown is capital T Tasty
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Black Lives Matter sign in Thousand Oaks vandalized multiple times. Owner installs camera, and discovers one man works for the Ventura County Sheriff's Office, another for the D.A.'s office
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Federal employee who yelled at teen girls gets some paid time off
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Look at him buying cookies like he didn't murder George Floyd
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Police departments won't comply with a chokehold ban even if it's demanded by Congress
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Just in case white people need a reminder: Everything is racist. Including the ice cream truck song
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Photoshop this woman in white
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If you ever wanted to visit Nashville, you have just under a month
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Regional delicacies, Queen Elizabeth II, and odd things to get arrested for are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 7-13: Fried Coleslaw Edition
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Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. This week it's Show and Tell: Show us a work of art you've made and Tell us the story behind it
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Meanwhile in Canada... it's Park Bench Patty
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Photoshop the Ágora, Valencia, Spain
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| (spontn80) |
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The 13th Annual "What would you say to your Dad today if you could?" Father's Day Thread
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Remember kids, it's only legal to pepper spray a crowd if you are a cop, not if you are an average citizen denied entry to a bar
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Five words to green: bumbling pair of beer thieves
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Object lands in India. Is it meteorite or alien? You'll get to see it, after this word from our sponsor
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People are saying "F*CK IT" and traveling while not caring about literally anyone else
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| Sat June 20, 2020 |
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Protip: Guys, don't post a profile picture holding your cat on a dating site as women will see you as 'less dateable' and 'less masculine'
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Unleash the DISEASE KARENS
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"Florida's Covid-19 surge shows the state's reopening plan is not working." Wait...Florida had a plan?
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Photoshop these stone slingers
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"If the owner of a missing chunk of shoreline would like to reclaim it, it's presently moving about Muskegon Lake as a floating island. "
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Well, that's one way to keep the numbers down
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To the moon, Kathy Right to the moon
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This story needs more lucky charms
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Duo who stole over $8 million in rare books and artifacts from the Carnegie Library get the book thrown...wait, their sentences are what?
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Arrest warrant issued for White woman accused of setting Atlanta Wendy's on fire
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| (Some Infectious Guy) |
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Photoshop the 'BioVYZR' into some New Age setting, like planes, trains, buses, group activites
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The pron industry has something of a mess on its hands
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The website some world leaders are using for their coronavirus statistics? Yeah, apparently no one really knows who's operating the website, or where they get some of the statistics
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Fark it. It's a rental
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Black gun owners plan pro-Second Amendment walk in Oklahoma and what could possibly go wrong?
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White professor demands Vietnamese student "Anglicize" her name so he doesn't have to say it. College administration ensures that he won't be saying it
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| (Abandoned Explorer) |
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Photoshop this eerie scene
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Sir, I think you have a small problem and may need to pull over
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Oklahoma man quarantined in Hawaii dies in Spitting Caves. Strange, you'd think Swallowing Caves would have got him instead
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The death of Street Cat Bob, a cat who inspired a popular book about a man struggling with drug addiction, has touched the hearts of people who mourned the cat on social media and shared their stories of beloved pets. Join us on Caturday
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It's amazing what gets washed ashore these days. For example, these bags of human remains
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Man dies of acute intoxication while in police custody, but not in the same way most Farkers would die of acute intoxication while in police custody
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Anheuser-Busch will pay Drew $20,000 to exercise
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Quebec is burning, and water bombers called in to douse fire covering 40 hectares, roughly the size of 40 international rugby fields or 4000 vats of poutine
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With rampant coronavirus and wildfires surrounding Phoenix, this is perfect metaphor
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Let's look at all the police reforms that have taken effect since the police-sanctioned murder of George Floyd
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School gives students homework assignment on how to plan their own funeral. Was that wrong ... was it too ghoulish?
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We are as high as we are gonna get
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NOT NEWS: Black man convicted of murder. NEWS: After 20 years he was exonerated. FARK: He knows another black man who was wrongfully convicted for 29 years. DOUBLE FARK: It's his brother. TRIPLE FARK: Both convicted by the same police and prosecutor
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College student sitting in a tree, T-A-P-P-I-N-G
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Victims are angry and upset that burglars stole their saffron. Quite rightly
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| Fri June 19, 2020 |
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Oklahoma Supreme Court affirms right of Okie Trumpers to be a plague upon the land
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Amount of wealth added by US billionaires since the coronavirus started is enough to pay over $13,000 to each of the 44,000,000 unemployed US citizens
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"Hi, Jack", 2020 edition
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To the AP, it's as simple as Black and white
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Senators introduce bill to make Juneteenth a national holiday. With picture of what two black Senators might look like
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Sunlight successfully sanitizes vehicle
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Civil rights groups call for 'pause' on Facebook ads
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Tonight at 7pm Eastern - it's the Fark Friday Movie Livestream. Dallan has put together a ton of material, including sex ed, cigarettes, preachers, satanism, spandex, and a Pizza Hut training video - and more, if that's even possible
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| (Parade) |
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Once they awoke from their naps, really old people shared the secrets to living a vibrant healthy life to 100
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| (Country Roads) |
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Photoshop this scenic landscape
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That six feet college socially distant rule will be broken the first time someone says I got some beer in my dorm
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Insurance companies are starting to question why they should be the ones paying for all these coronavirus tests, because of course they are
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Florida now requiring people in major cities to wear masks in public, not so fast, Jacksonville
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Royalty have been getting it on with their own kin for longer than we ever suspected
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A Black Lives Matter protester hit by a car in Oregon has identified the alleged driver. To his face. At a city commission meeting. He's the mayor
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More signs of the coming apocalypse: 'Ring of fire' eclipse on summer solstice is 'sign in heavens' of coming end of days (possible nsfw content on page)
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One thing Covid-19 is good for is new record Cannon Ball Run times. Fark: In a rental car
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You say potato, in Maryland we say live bomb from WW 1
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Kentucky AG asks for patience in Breonna Taylor case, claims not all the police will get raises and promotions
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this 1965 Dodge A100
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Protip: If your family member is on a ventilator, don't unplug it in order to use the outlet for something else
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1. It won't. 2. It won't. 3. It won't. 4. It won't. 5. It won't. 6. It won't. 7. It won't. 8. Say yes to any opportunity that feeds your need for expansion. 9. It won't. 10. It won't. 11. It won't. 12. It won't
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This is what it looks like when a wildfire in Arizona sweeps across a mountaintop and nearly burns down a fire station
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You had me at 'hug tunnel'
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Florida Keys plans killer insect attack on disease-carrying mosquitoes. What could possibly go wrong, nothing like a hoard of mutant disease-carrying killer mosquitoes or anything
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Foreign country most active in online right-wing extremism is... Canada?
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Ford: about that Bronco introduction on OJ Simpson's birthday, we're going to punt it to July 13. Per Wikipedia, that's Cheech Marin's birthday, so we cool?
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Everyday Kyle sets a new low
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Chinese company says its vaccine could be complete by 'autumn' which anti-vaxxers will point out is only 3 letters away from 'autism'
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An historic pandemic originates in your country. Should you: C) Blast a neighboring country with a sustained cyber assault targeting a wide variety of institutions, including healthcare
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And then there is this 'professional idiot'
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How hot is it in Phoenix? People protesting are having their shoes melt
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Louisville PD fires one of three officers involved in Breonna Taylor's murder, other charges still pending. This is going to make the Bowling Green Massacre pale in comparison
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Turkish slaughterbots are now available for export. Suck it, murder hornets
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New Yorkers are partying in the streets with fireworks. Correction, they are fighting each other with fireworks
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This is "Corona Top 50" with Casey COVID. Arizona's still moving up the charts with "3,246"
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Iceland: The land that coronavirus forgot ...it's like it never happened
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LASD shoot and kill a second black man in two days. This time a security guard who ran away when he saw two people point a gun at him
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Aaaaand now extinct volcanoes are beginning to 'recharge'
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'What, are you going to shoot me?' said Florida man to his friend
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I swear it was totally racist KKK hackers that advertised my pizzas at the weekend
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"It's Juneteenth, but we are still trying to get free in 2020"
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Back off, Facebook Boogaloos
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Canadian man tows a hot tub on a homemade wooden cart with a Porsche, No word if he apologized for owning a Porsche
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So much for immunity from getting Covid more than once
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Photoshop theme: Create an award for RedZoneTuba's 1000th win
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America's oldest mystery may have been solved. Also, what's a Croatoan?
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| (Michael Osterholm) |
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1.6 million US dead in the next 18 months. With no end in sight. Ever. Welcome to the reality of the COVID-19 world
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Well, officer, care to tell us how you really feel?
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Begun, the mask war has
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Oh noes KarSnek halp
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Virginia, looking jealously at Kentucky, gets its own geriatric turtle
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Thirty years ago, Romania kept babies in orphanages away from all human contact. How'd that work out for them?
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The Bush Fire is not what you think it is. Also, it has become the largest wildfire in the U.S
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Saying that city needs leadership and not coronavirus-carrying cowboys, Tampa mayor orders all residents to mask up by 5 PM Friday
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| Thu June 18, 2020 |
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Nursing home evacuated because you DON'T mix AMMONIA AND BLEACH
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Protip: When an organization bans you for life, don't vandalize the place. Especially on camera. Clothing identification trifecta complete
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The Sunshine State sees a record number of COVID-19 cases upon reopening. Not THAT Sunshine State. The other one
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You can farking help your farking fellow American. Donate your farking blood, motherfarking Covid survivors
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Police are looking for a suspect wearing a Deadpool costume... a very specific Deadpool costume
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Photoshop this close encounter of the 3rd kind
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First Hitler, now this half-naked bus attack. It's a troubling country
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Visitors and residents of Florida Keys now required to wear masks through June. Difficulty: June 2021
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6pm Eastern - it's the Fark News Summary Livestream. We have all the important stuff plus a couple of new apocalypses, one Super Flush, and Elon Musk denying a threesome for some reason
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Florida man, Florida man... coming to NY in a caravan... you better stay inside because it's important says governor man
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"And I told him, I'd never seen cocaine that brown before"
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As if 2020 weren't apocalyptic enough for Australians, now they've got coronavirus dinosaurs
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The Dead Kennedys gain a new member
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...and a note, signed: Drew Curtis
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California Gov. Gavin Newsom orders all Californians to wear face coverings while in public or high-risk settings, including when shopping, taking public transit or seeking medical care
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| (Some Stepper Guy) |
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Photoshop colorful canter
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Man with facial tattoo of a machete arrested. For attacking somebody with a machete
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"Self-described semi-professional basketball player" brings documentary crew to film him rioting and lighting molotovs, tells them "the police can't do anything". Lets see if he was right
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Massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake rocks New Zealand. Orcs everywhere
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What's it like to work in a public building during COVID? Here's a huge thread from a librarian about the stress everyone is under
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Welcome to Vermont. There are no billboards, but do watch out for crossing bear, moose, deer, 4 foot lizards
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Alcoholic monkey gets sentenced to life behind bars. If only I could do the same to Uncle 'good time' Henry
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Dick pix. Kaiju edition (possible nsfw content on page)
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City: the nooses found in trees around Oakland are racist hate symbols. Black guy who put them up: No, they were fun exercise equipment. City: still racist
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Here comes the second wave. Beijing shutting down and even the CCP Secretary admits "This has truly rung an alarm bell for us"
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Siberia has gone from being a Russian punishment post to a vacation spot. And that's not a good thing
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Disgraced priest leads armed convent takeover, says church leaders are using fake pandemic to bring forth the Antichrist. Then things get weird
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During their recent clash India and China were practicing for World War 4
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| (Some Guy) |
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Finally An answer to the age old question: Does a bear shiat in the woods? Well, turns out a bear will shiat anywhere it damn well pleases
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| (Some New Wave Guy) |
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This week's THREE hour serving of vintage 80's alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Wire, Visage, Classix Nouveaux, and Fad Gadget. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #138. Starts @ 1PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Riot arsonist identified through social media and arrested. No, this isn't a repeat from a few hours ago
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| (Ugly Duckling) |
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Caption this down duck
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Dude who claims he's had sex with 'plenty' of chicks all through lockdown is definitely not exaggerating. Oh no (possible nsfw content on page)
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Since the Governor says reports of rising Covid-19 reports is simply due to increased testing, time to start bringing back in person jury trials ... cough cough
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UK Councillor repeatedly says N-word, and tells how his family used to own a cat named N-word, in order to highlight how things have changed. Only he didn't say "N-word", he said the N-word. De re / de dicto
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Fark NotNewsletter: Here's what true believers ask Drew about his time travels
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You remember Robert Fuller? One of the five black men last week who 'committed suicide' by hanging themselves from a tree in public? Yeah, deputies just killed his half brother. Bonus: They nearly killed the woman he supposedly kidnapped
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The next Coronavirus hotspot is going to be where you'd expect
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45 min interview with Michael Osterholm, the Covid expert from Minnesota, is not completely depressing. Except maybe the part that he gets death threats and called a member of the deep state
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Stupid white George Floyd protester faces 80 years in jail after customized Etsy T-shirt reveals she's a flamethrowing bomb rioter who likes to burn police cars
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If we meet Dame Vera Lynn again, it won't be here - she's passed at age 103
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Man goes to gym during pandemic and earns which Fark tag: a) Dumbass, b) Sick, or c) Hero [warning: graphic image]
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"I'm not a racist," says man spray-painting racist slogan on statue of Arthur Ashe
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Photoshop the Lisbon tram
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This should end well: casino employee in Pittsburgh tests positive for COVID-19
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Arrest warrant issued for man who punched BLM protestor's head in Bethel, Ohio. Unclear why his head was in Bethel
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Cops release photos of privileged woman who was one of the people suspected of starting the Wendy's fire
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The National Drug Stockpile is now stuck with 63 million doses of obvious tag
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Well, looks like we're boned
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Researchers have achieved a 95% successful pollination rate with a bubble gun. Imagine what they could accomplish with some laser lights and a fog machine
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Prince Charles still tasteless
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China brings in several hundred soldiers and artillery on the contested border area with India. Subby thinks they are shaolin monks experts in kung fu and the artillery is just for fireworks... yeah thats the ticket
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Black Lives Matter protests have been ongoing across the country for three weeks -- but do not appear to correlate with any increased rate of coronavirus
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Uh, everything is under control. Situation normal. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
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Aunt Jemima will be joined by Uncle Ben and Mrs. Butterworth in the annals of racist marketing history, trifecta complete
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 789: "Purple 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed June 17, 2020 |
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Kobe's pilot may have become disoriented in the fog before the accident
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Cat in scat caught, scats
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If you stopped in Orlando International Airport recently, you might want to see if you got coronavirus as a parting gift
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Man goes to get another item while his wife waits in long line at Walmart. Too bad it was after closing time
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Russia has accused one of its leading Arctic researchers of spying for China by giving away scientific information on underwater acoustics, Santa's garage band
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Archaeologists think they've found tomb of Cleopatra. Probably won't open it until at least 2021, we've got enough going on right now
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Attention civilians: Don't drive your moped through an active crime scene
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Photoshop this storm-bound starship statue
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Florida bridge infrastructure finally catching up to Minneapolis bridge infrastructure
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By Xenu, they got him
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Parachute failure? That's more of a Shelbyville idea
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Having spent a ton of cash to only partially screw up the nation's public school system, Netflix founder builds secret summer camp for it
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It's the Fark News Livestream today at 5:30pm eastern Hoooooly crap it's been a busy couple of days. Odds are you missed some or most of what we'll be talking about. All the important stuff plus a surprising amount of news-related flatulence
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Rick Romero Institute for Contact Tracing discovers that homeowners don't answer phone call from numbers they don't recognize
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| (Some Guy) |
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Well, on the bright side...At least he is wearing a mask
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For sale: 1998 Plymouth van, V-6, auto, periscope camera, blacked-out windows, electronics enclosure, AC, stereo, 100K miles, runs good ... wait, back up
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Texas coronavirus hospitalizations jump 11% in one day. Gov. Greg Abbott: "All is well, remain calm"
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Please remember to wash your lint collector. Or don't, because it's like a rain forest down there
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If you hate wearing the mask now, you're really gonna hate the ventilator
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Today's "Took you long enough" contest winner is the Fulton County DA office. Runner up is Drew, who was behind in running the Fark queue today
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Like his hats, Trump likes his elections made in China
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Indiana woman charged after attempting to neuter her dog by herself. Husband unavailable for comment
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Photoshop this tiny modern kitchen
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Worst Korea Minister of Unicorns resigns after learning the job was a fantasy
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Fark-ready headline: SDG&E Worker Fired Over Alleged Racist Gesture Says He Was Cracking Knuckles
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When things finally open back up, a "must" on every Farker's future vacation itinerary is a visit to Exploding Whale Memorial Park in Florence, OR
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Portland demonstrators pull down Thomas Jefferson statue on high school grounds. Even Founding Fathers aren't catching a pass these days
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Scientists discover there's no such thing as a "small edit" to the genetic code of human embryos
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"ICUs are full, patients are dying." Is the article referring to A) Alabama, B)... you know what? It's Alabama
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Where is the missing 'Tiger King' millionaire? Investigators are on the case
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Snowflake gets kicked off plane for not wearing a mask, being an attention whore
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How welcome are drunk Brits in holiday places throughout the world? The 'good' Germans are raving about Brit-free Majorca and relishing how 'quiet' it is without blotto Brit 20-somethings causing trouble
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"The front lines of the Covid-19 fight have shifted from I.C.U.s to wards where the sickest patients relearn how to walk and eat without choking." And then when they get home they have the hospital bill(s) waiting for them
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Strippers in Rhode Island don't want to work on outdoor stages. Probably so they don't end up in a 'Horrible TiKi torch accident' headline
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Vancouver citizens seek to remove statue of farting pedophile
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Restaurant wants to reopen with social distancing. Says he's got plenty of you know what
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Not content with banging bears, Vancouverite attempts to bang the whole city
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Caption these graduating girls
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Rats big enough for 'saddles' infest Dublin. Pizza Rat says hold my metrocard
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Ohio cop resigns after using police database to basically stalk a woman
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Put quicksand on the list of reasons never to visit Australia and/or the 1970s
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Enter through the back door, tap three times on the pipe, and ask for Father Louie. Tell them God sent you
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In a shock to everyone, drunk people don't like being told what to do
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| (Some Guy) |
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"B-b-but is it haunted? This is important"
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Guess we needed a pandemic to show that the rent is too damn high
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'However, Lesh doesn't seem phased. After receiving numerous comments questioning his behavior, he challenged others on social media to follow his lead at Hanging Lake and even defecate in its waters.'
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California capitol will have its Christopher Columbus statue discover the trash heap after 137 years
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Quaker Oats, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Pepsi Corporation, has decided that now would probably be a good time to retire plantation mammy Aunt Jemima
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So it turns out mass transit doesn't spread Covid-19 so enjoy the super clean subway cars while you can
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If you cut off a memorial sign honoring a black man who was lynched by racists in 1882 from a pole in a Kansas City park and threw said sign off a cliff, lots of folks would like a word with you
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Photoshop these lads having fun with science
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These young men are working together by baking dog treats & selling them to neighbors, with all proceeds going to a local food bank. So far they've raised $250 & have 50 orders in the queue. Let's give them a hand this Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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One of the first major televised post-Covid competitive events to be held in the US? Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest
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A second round of lockdowns may not be as effective
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Civil war 2: fascist boogaloo
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What might force us to wear face masks? D) Saharan dust. The enemy is visible at last
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Man living above apartment with "Trump 2020" flag in its window puts "Venmo me money and I'll tapdance at midnight" sign in his own window--and has raised more than $10,000 so far, all of which goes to the ACLU
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Vladimir Putin requires anyone visiting him to enter a decontamination chamber
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"Guess it's gonna be hard for the coronavirus to spread with the government not allowing churches to hold large gatherings." "Actually, it's gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience"
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Worst Korea moving tanks and other military assets to the border in case Kim's sister takes after her (probably) deceased brother
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For those Las Vegas casino executives yearning to open up, maybe they should take a look at the ones in Arizona first
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So remember how we needed to keep the meat plants open as "Essential" due to a meat shortage? Turns out there was no shortage, and they were using that extra labor to increase meat exports to China
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Duh, duh, doy, duh, and in conclusion: No shiat Sherlock
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Fifteen friends spent three months under quarantine until Florida opened everything up. Take one wild guess what happened to all fifteen friends on their first night out
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♫ ♪ The church in California won't make 'em wait... Two hundred Catholic schools won't start late... Guess getting corona will come down to faith... So send in your daughters and sons... You know that only the good die young... ♪ ♫
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| Tue June 16, 2020 |
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Scientists: just so we're clear...... raw onions do NOT prevent Covid-19
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Meanwhile in Canada... two more months of $2,000 a month and the Canada/U.S. border closed until July 21st
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Pride goeth
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The Red Cross is testing every blood and platelet donation for COVID-19 antibodies. You can't go in if you're showing symptoms, but it beats coughing on rich people and waiting for their tests to come back
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Thankfully, Drew is a heavy drinker and will therefore live forever
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How many people has your utility company killed? Contender for title is "84 involuntary manslaughter convictions". Who? you'll Probably Guess Eventually
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Defood the police
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Notoriously aggressive Disney legal team finds compassion for unlicensed vendors; Sean Hannity loses pin
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Florida, to New York and New Jersey: "Hold my beer"
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Cool cat demonstrates positive use of a pipeline
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Ah, the old "her breasts were so big that there's no way I could have gotten my arms around her" defense
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♫ ♬ Cellino and Barnes... consulted their attorneys... wonder who gets the phone number ♪ ♫ ♬
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"[Araza] was buying these things and ingesting them, did you hear me?" Judd said. "He was munching on them. This guy has a problem"
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Photoshop this walk towards the water
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Wisconsin man seen walking dog in Ku Klux Klan robe and hood. Why the dog was wearing the robe and hood remains to be seen
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List of 97 cities where tear gas was used on protestors. Police complaining about short supply, price increases
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The kringle - serious business
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Yo dawg, I heard you like defending statues, so I made a statue of your statue defenders so you can defend while you statue (possible nsfw content on page)
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Defunding the police may not be necessary
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We got another one: Henrietta Hammer (NSFW language in videos)
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The mask is supposed to go over your nose too, you Dumb-Dumbs
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Here's a rundown of every state and U.S. territory's COVID-19 response, asking the same question for each one: "Have they farked up so far?" Bonus: "Florida's literally the poster child of how to fark up this pandemic"
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ReopenNC founder goes all 'the stupid, it burns' with new mask challenge
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Latest thing that's bad for you? Flushing the toilet
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Florida attempted a small pop culture event last weekend and it went exactly as you would expect. Because Florida
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Remember when the Confederacy raised its flag on the rocky northern California coast?
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For decades now, across the entire nation, we've been banning police chokeholds. Yet, inexplicably, police keep choking people. It's a mystery, I suppose. Very mysterious
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China unveils adorable munchkin Terminator that will melt your heart, face (possible nsfw content on page)
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For the first time, Alabama has more new coronavirus cases in one day than the collective number of teeth in entire state
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There was no mention of hamsters or elderberries
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Google finally bans extreme-right websites "The Federalist" and "ZeroHedge" from its ad platform
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Hey Siri, I'm getting pulled over
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Mike Pence: Pay no attention to rising case counts and hospitalizations
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NJ posts new rules for personal care businesses to reopen next week: no walk-ins, screening required, rectal temperature checks, no magazines, blood of your first born, no handcuffs, no nose picking
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A guest "opting not to comply with posted rules of 'no running, jumping, or bouncing'" on the bridge attempted a baseball-style slide across the glass and chipped it with a metal object on their clothes"
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Photoshop these handy headphones
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Golden State Killer accepts offer denied to his victims
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Black Lives Matter™
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Steroids found to improve survival rates, homerun totals, in sickest COVID patients
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Cool idea or stuff of new Black Mirror episode nightmares?
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Hey everyone - we're doing a 24 hour test of not allowing adblockers - check out the announcement and the service we're using to combat bad ads
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Okay maybe we should look into this instead of just declaring it a suicide and going out for drinks
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The water main on Water Lane is a thing that douses by Springfield House(s)
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The great cycle continues, every generation gets mercilessly roasted by the generation after them. Except for Gen-X somehow. Anyhow carry on
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Just how ubiquitous is the removal of racist statues? There's a Wikipedia page listing them all
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British researchers announce cheap, widely available drug is effective at treating COVID-19. American doctors shake their heads sadly, if only the drug had been expensive and under patent, they could have saved lives
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Remember the armed "Black Panthers" who showed up to the Atlanta protests? Yeah...about that
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The University of South Carolina has a women's dormitory named for a gynecologist who performed experimental surgeries on slaves without anesthesia
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Downside to living in the CHAZ utopia: *Nineteen* 911 calls get zero response after burglary, arson suspect held
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So some guy in Kentucky is on Twitter claiming that he invented Florida Man. Seems legit
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Remember that guy who disarmed the protestor who had stolen a police rifle? Here's an interview with him
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Want to be a narc for profit? Images of 14 suspects of arson in Minneapolis and St. Paul; offer of $5,000 for information that leads to identification
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Happy Picard Day. Jean Luc's "collection of robes and tops with plunging necklines are equally worthy of praise. His 'off-the-clock' looks prove this captain plays as hard as he works"
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I don't want her, you can have her, she's to .... ahh the hell with it, I'm done with the sexy time. Diego the tortoise with the "species saving sex drive" has been put out to pasture
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Mom wanted to be a doctor, but her plans were derailed by a pregnancy so she took time away and then became an RN. Recently mom and that baby graduated together from medical school. Well, the baby is an adult obviously, not Doogie Howser
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Caption these wee turtles
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Job openings: good pay and benefits, must like doughnuts and black people
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Lions in the wild generally don't like to be petted
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Today is the 25th anniversary of Astronomy Picture of the Day, a website whose format is essentially unchanged since its 1995 debut
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Don't Fear the Reaper: The executions will now resume
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62-year old veteran reported missing lass month from a Massachusetts VA hospital has been found, or what's left of him anyway, because someone at the hospital apparently decided to "get their steps in" and take the stairs instead of the elevator
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Bill & Ted are now coming to save us one week earlier
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"Pardon moi, have you any Poupon Gendarmes?
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The handling of Covid has been so bad in Belarus, President Lukashenko may finally be toppled after 26 years. Of course, the first opposition candidate is already in jail and the second just had his company's office raided, but there's a chance
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Economic fallout from a pandemic hitting UK was never modelled, senior civil servants admit. Sir Humphrey says it would have cost money, been depressing and required the government come up with a plan
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"Disturbingly, the US seems to have given up on trying to control the spread of the disease, the only wealthy country in the world that just said, "screw it, let people die"
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Three Indian soldiers killed in violent clash with Chinese troops along disputed border...but apparently no guns were fired, leading to the inescapable conclusion that China has an unstoppable army of Shaolin Kung-Fu warrior monks
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It's pretty clear at this point that A) Un's dead or its functional equivalent, and B) Lil' Kim has gone full Princess Azula and wants a shooting war with Other Korea
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Photoshop this reflective moment
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Are liability waivers for employees and customers the new normal in business? And what's going to be (inevitably) buried in the legalese?
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In the worst take ever on white privilege, a megachurch pastor wants to call it 'White Blessing" bc slavery built the framework of this country
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They didn't want a large Farva. They wanted a liter of cola
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Next up for 2020: possible global seafarers strikes that could impact up to 90% of all world trade. Who knew that keeping 200,000 people at sea against their will was a bad idea?
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A third body hanging from a tree has been discovered. This time in Houston (link updated)
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Unless your man has a very SPECIFIC job, if he starts shaving his pubes because he's finally going back to work after the shutdown... He may be cheating
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2020 is already rehashing its greatest hits: let's have another war scare
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Dedicated boozers emerge from lock down to pack re-opened beer hall at 6 am
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Police culture is so broken cops will tell you they'll arrest you if you try to file a complaint and then do, even though they know they're being recorded
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Fascists now shooting
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Florida Man's tastes are getting more expensive -- this time, he stole over $700 in wine
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My flag boy and your flag boy, sitting by the fire. My flag boy told your flag boy... Suck it, my flag WON
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NYPD is disbanding their entire plainclothes force due to high number of shootings. Plainclothes officers considering other disguises, perhaps like uniforms
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Taipei's Songshan Airport is offering a fake vacation abroad that includes the experience of going through immigration control and getting on an aircraft and then off though without actually leaving the ground
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When Ben Gurion Airport closes its smoking booths it's serious business
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We don't know if breastfeeding is rising or falling in Australia, and that's bad for everyone. On the other hand we're reasonably sure they're not trying to kill everyone, so that's a pretty big positive
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Old Shanty Cafe building destroyed in fire. Owners of the Snack Shed and the Lean-To Tearoom appraising situation
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Well who hasn't wanted to send a bloody pig mask as eBay feedback?
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IHME revises its coronavirus forecast to "don't worry about going back to school or football season this fall"
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Welcome to George Floyd Park
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Because even ghosts need to work out now and then
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Photoshop these colorful arches
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Pop quiz: the Chinese activists who re-uploaded a magazine article have been jailed because of [a] copyright infraction [b] 'reasons' (possible nsfw content on page)
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Connie Brooks' friends think she's overworked, Liz goes to secretarial school to get a job at George's bank & Professor Thorpe's bathysphere has been sitting on the bottom of the ocean for a week, wot Superman do? Paul's Memory Bank starts at 8PM EDT
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Students pull the whole 'school's for sale' senior prank then ruin the whole thing by leaving a sappy note
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All those nasty masks and gloves littering the streets are clogging drainage systems during hurricane season
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CDC releases new detailed demographics of Covid-19. Some highlights: 14% of known cases needed hospitalization and 5% died. Infection rates were about the same for men and women but men were more likely to be hospitalized
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California's largest police unions call for lessening the use of force, increasing accountability and rooting out racist officers. Other police unions expected to fight back; WWE scheduling Police Union Brawl to Settle It All
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Exploding Whale Memorial Fark Park
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First sign your pandemic is out of control: lobbies full of bodies
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However farked your job may be, rest assured there is always something worse (job was deleted, text from listing posted in thread)
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The Central Park Birdwatcher, the dude some crazy white lady went viral harassing in Central Park, is also the man who put Luke Cage in cut-off shorts and and Doctor Strange in a thong. Appropriate to share during Pride month. Also kinda NSFW?
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There are identical triplets and then there are these identical triplets who will make your brain hurt with their identicalness
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T-Mobile, Verizon and AT&T phone calls are failing across the US. More than usual that is
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And then the murders began
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Photoshop this biker
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If you live in Florida, first of all, we're sorry. Secondly, don't lose your Frisbee
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Endtimes Chapter 4, verse 166: Persecution of the Hawaii Antiquarantine Cult commences
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UN Human Rights Council to hold debate on racism and police brutality in the USA, at least if they can make it to the General Assembly building in New York City without being shot by police
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"He also wants each of his lawyers to pay him $10,000 an hour from December 2015 to April of this year for lost wages"
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Rancor erupts in news room. *SPOILER ALERT* Hopefully there's a skull lying around to activate the door switch
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White nationalist Gravy Seals attack protestors in South Philly while their friends in the Philadelphia police department do nothing
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Chalk Art Charlene's husband fired from wealth management firm
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Shopping Cart Sally stands her ground
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On this day in history, in 1215, King John put his seal on the Magna Carta before going on to have all toilets in the kingdom named after him
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Report details how woman with no ticket boarded airline flight, centering on the absence of Indiana Jones onboard to throw her out a window
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On this day in history, in 1300, Dante was named the Prior of Florence, in spite of the fact that he wasn't even supposed to be there that day
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