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| Sun June 14, 2020 |
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Either France is declaring victory or France is surrendering. Time will tell
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Houston mayor Sylvester Turner announced Thursday the intended removal of two confederate statues will be expedited to happen before Juneteeth
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Early test results show few Minnesota protesters caught COVID-19, which lines up with previous data suggesting that transmission primarily occurs indoors
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Sally Sparrow DUCK NOW
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Observant Sikh woman graduates from West Point. Unobservant Sikh woman is wondering where all of her classmates are, and why it's so quiet
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A Black Lives Matter hero, who happens to be black, carried a stricken "far-right" rival. who happens to be white, to safety saying: "I want equality for all" (possible nsfw content on page)
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Photoshop this wood 'n fencer
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Fun fact: In fiscal year 2019, police misconduct in US cities cost taxpayers over $300 million in lawsuit settlements
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GOOD: America has won the war against the Corona Virus. BAD: In the same way we won the war in Vietnam - it got too expensive and we pretended that it was over
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It's always the ones you least suspect
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Things you're liable to leave behind on the train: cell phone, wallet, purse, bag of gold
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Minneapolis cops begin resigning, say the city just isn't supporting them for some reason
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Photoshop a new head for this statue
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You're in trouble now, mister
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Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. This week, create a brand logo for your username. Use anything you like to illustrate - MSPaint, Photoshop, pen & paper, etc
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Louisville Slugger ends sales of nightsticks for police amid protests. In other news, Louisville Slugger made police nightsticks
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The scourge of coronavirus fraud
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If you haven't started question every part of your life during the pandemic, you will start. Assuming you survive
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Mere days after the Blood Rainbow foretold their doom; tornadoes, golf balls sized hail and flooding ravage a Western Canadian town causing massive property damage (w/ video)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rural Missouri town latest to try autonomous zone after the police chief went full redneck on Facebook
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Another day, another entitled white woman
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Tag seems appropriate, Tennessee style. Subby awaits greenlight, shot of whiskey
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NYC Molotov cocktail throwers now facing life in prison for not understanding what 'peaceful protest' means
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Couple tries to offset travel difficulties by having package sent to them from Arizona. Care to guess why they ended up on Fark?
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The suspicious hanging death of Robert Fuller in Palmdale has now gotten people looking into the case of another black man who was found hanged a couple weeks ago just 45 miles away
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Photoshop this outrage
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CSB Sunday Morning: "Do you know who I am?" - Unexpected encounters with famous people
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Perhaps the thief thought it was the Holy Grail?
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Good apple filed a report that was unfavorable to a bad apple, and proceeded to have his life and career destroyed by the bunch
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What if we toss the Sheriff in jail overnight, give him an arrest record, and let him pay a few grand for a lawyer?
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If JFK faked his death, COVID-19 is manmade and your neighbors are spies, then the cops are clearly in on it, so you had better broadcast on Facebook Live while they chase you and your minivan of kids through two states
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Black students are tired of teaching white students how not to be racist
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"I'm over 60. Stop talking about coronavirus 'culling' me"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Free spirit airlines
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Everything is bigger in Texas. Including the number of people hospitalized for Covid-19
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Fox News: The lawless zone that will Ignite America into a Blood Bath of Antifa Anarchy called Chaz. The Stranger: I think there's a Churro stand over there next to the Pho place
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| Sat June 13, 2020 |
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'He always did his job well': Chad Daybell is praised by his former employer for being a good grave digger. Dave Matthews band disagrees
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Before George Floyd was killed by police in MN, he was probably framed by a cop in TX
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Atlanta Wendy's where a black man was shot is now on fire
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A utopia was built in a Minneapolis Sheraton, until the eviction came
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The unusual happenstance of Hero trumping the Florida tag
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Lake Forest Dr. vs Lake Forrest Dr.
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Fox News fails to see the violence inherent in the system
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Photoshop this brown branch
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Canada-US border is closed, yet those pesky Americans are still coming across
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Put the Florida tag at half mast: the Orlando Sentinel will no longer publish mug shots
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So much for "ashes and embers." Leaked CDC document shows 36% increase in COVID-19 cases in one week. Fark: The USA had the biggest spike of percentage change in daily cases
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Man claiming to be a 'UFC fighter from California' shoots eight people in a San Antonio parking lot with a long rifle after he was refused entry to bar by security
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Photoshop this bubble pattern
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Schrödinger's sister threatens to "decisively carry out the next [military] action" against Worst Korea because 2020 is just not content with everything else that's going on in the world
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Police refuse to learn, shoot & kill a man who was passed out in a Wendy's drive thru. They say it was during a struggle but cell phone video seems to show he was running away. This will end well
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Upstate NY school district feels need to discuss racism; makes sure that all meetings to do so are separate and equal
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Move along, folks, nothing to see here - just China totally locking down parts of Beijing due to coronavirus outbreak at wholesale meat market
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Fauci says second wave of COVID not inevitable unless large meetings of ignorant people occur
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Former SNL cast member Jay Pharoah posts video of the LAPD giving him the George Floyd Treatment for "matching suspect description" back in April
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Man pulls gun on two roofers and forces them to the ground because, you know, they might be Antifa. What happened, Colorado? You used to be cool
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Poland has invaded the Czech Republic. Uh... on accident
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Photoshop this computer carrying chap
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East Meadow, NY, cops decide they need the spotlight, arrest man for trying to walk around an officer who purposefully stopped walking
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Study shows young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century. Social media and electronic gaming are "suggested" to be partly to blame. Ya think?
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"They have destroyed our furniture, given us innumerable scratches and scars, and gone through enough cat litter to occupy several landfills. And it's been wonderful". Welcome to Caturday
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Subby shared his story about recovering from COVID last month. Recovery is still going on, had a bunch of weird symptoms that continue to this day. Turns out for some, this is the new normal
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Karen levels up to Maleficent, harasses a home owner for stenciling Black Lives Matter on his own property wall. (with video of Maleficent actually speaking)
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The coming era of millennial despair
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It is apparently 2020 in Taiwan, too: "Taipei City Councilor Chiu Wei-chieh had pledged that he would snap one chopstick in two with his buttocks for every 10,000 votes exceeding 400,000 in the recall vote against then-Kaohsiung mayor Han Kuo-yu"
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♪ You and me, and COVID-19, must live together in perfect harmony. ♪
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"[He was] completely naked, other than running shoes, I will admit, I was looking him up and down, like sort of confirming... are you really naked? Not because I really wanted to see, but just because I was trying to assess the situation"
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There are facial tattoos and then there's letting a frustrated cartoonist have a go at facial tattoos
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Gentle Carousel Miniature Horse Therapy doubts racists' commitment to Sparkle Plenty, donkey-kicks them off their site
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Finger tapping head - you can't start the second wave if you never technically finish the first wave
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Washington State calls up the guard, but for a better reason than shooting demonstrators
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| Fri June 12, 2020 |
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Someone in online class catches glimpse of small arsenal in student's home and alerts police to danger
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Finally a story to make the Farkettes cringe and cross their legs
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18-year-old girl becomes pregnant so dad blames: A) The daughter. B) The boyfriend. C) Her mom for not being a good parent and keeping track of the teenager's menstrual cycles
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Wrong chicken tender order leads to customers shattering front glass of Sonic. There was no gunplay or nudity, so that rules out Florida
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Spidertoad .. spidertoad does whatever a spidertoad insect does to leave Aussie woman revolted after she finds the NOPE creature in her garden (possible nsfw content on page)
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Another passionate entitled white woman, railroaded by our liberal cancel culture just like Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon, and cartoon smokesperson Joe Camel
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Master race thwarted by not using incognito mode on phone
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Tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern, a very special Fark livestream: It's Drew vs the Top Fark Submitters in Quiplash. We may have a spot or two remaining so pipe up in the Fark comments if you want to be considered. Bonus: Audience votes award points also
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Ugly-ass baby boom going on at Palestinian zoo after humans stop coming around due to coronavirus
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Moose has same fate as everyone else in Lowell, shot up with drugs
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'Brilliant' Brooklyn resident thinks he found a clever bit of marketing by describing himself as an "IMMUNE HOST" on his Airbnb listing for a "Williamsburg Penthouse Guestroom." Airbnb disagrees and calls him out for being a putz
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| (Some Guy) |
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In an effort to remove Confederate monuments around the country, redesign Stone Mountain into something more appropriate for the the times
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CDC warns U.S. may reimplement strict coronavirus measures "if cases go up dramatically". Good luck with that
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Good news everyone, scientists predicted 2020 will be the year of peak social unrest. It's all downhill from here
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St John's fencing coach goes full KKK, or ЖЖЖ or something, in racist rant. Never go full ЖЖЖ
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Police want to speak to man who looks like this after burglary. What he looked like before still unclear
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Get your smacking lips ready, kissing is going to be key to our mental recovery after coronavirus
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No. Please. Stop
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Black man found hanged outside courthouse. Police say it's suicide, but certainly doesn't sound like a suicide
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Minneapolis city council unanimously votes to reevaluate local policing
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Arizona is seeing a spike in deaths related to: A) the heat B) coronavirus C) los dos Welcome to Phoenix: It's a heat island of death
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Of all the bizarre internet 'trends' we have seen, this seems harmless, but no less weird
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First it was antibacterial wipes, then toilet paper. Then Nintendo Switches and puzzles. The latest thing to sell out: bicycles
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Ohio Supreme Court rules you wouldn't have gotten a ticket if you weren't speeding
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The Verizon logo has been removed from 375 Pearl Street (the "Verizon Building"). Photoshop what should go in its place
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The party's over in Kentucky as the first indictments are handed down enforcing their new bestiality law. And because it's Kentucky it should be clarified, that law is ANTI-bestiality
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SMU law school revokes admission of unidentified student for unspecified behavior. So let that be a lesson to all of you
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"The tantrik used to kiss hands of devotees, saying it would make all their problems go away. He claimed his 'kiss-cure' worked on Covid patients, too." Narrarator: He was correct
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Woman charged with hit-and-run of a construction worker, DUI, 2nd-degree sharpie eyebrows
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'Mindless' vandalism in Liverpool on Penny Lane (made famous by Beatles song) as street signs sprayed over for being racist. Something about some guy charging a penny to cross a toll bridge
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Woman killed, boyfriend wounded after alleged dispute over dog pooping. Dog that hates the person you're dating seen taking notes
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One reason many people like to go RVing is to get closer to nature
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Judge shows leniency and reduces the sentence of two all you can eat Thai seafood scammers to just 723 years. Guess he didn't see the chocolate fountain
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Suddenly. MOOSE
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A sex doll so real that a necrophiliac will not be able to tell the difference (possible nsfw content on page)
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It's officially 'kids hurt as bouncy house blows away' season
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In a time of uncertainty and unrest, Americans are doing what they're best at: panic-buying guns
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Evangelical Christian leaders are torn between preaching what is CLEARLY stated multiple times in the Bible and alienating their congregations by pointing out that 75%+ of them are sinners
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"I share a last name with a female urination device. But hey, at least it's not as bad as having a last name like Hitler, Wiener, Butts, Hooker, or Dickman. (Or so I tell myself.)"
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Twitter's newest trick relies on tracking even more of your clicks. You won't believe what happens next
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Dunkin Donuts Donna freaks out at employees. Not safe for work language, like any of you are actually at work
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Your Ric Romero headline of the Day: "Once Starship prototypes stop exploding, we could see an orbital launch this year"
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Never forget Icy Hot Stuntaz shared on this very Fark dot com
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Today is "Loving Day." On this day in 1967, the Supreme Court struck down state bans on inter-racial marriage
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Is that a Bighorn in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
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The Maldives begin allowing people out during daytime, confirming they are not run by vampires
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Yes, this is the ugliest statue ever and of course it's of a Confederate racist terrorist. And it was made by the man who defended MLK's assassin
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NYPD Lieutenant apologizes to fellow officers for his "horrible decision" of crossing the blue line and kneeling with evil George Floyd protesters
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Are you a straight man who's excited about opening up your relationship with your wife or girlfriend? Here's one important thing to remember. Hint: sausages
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| (Some Liar) |
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Somebody hacked my Facebook page and posted that racist joke. But I'm not going to report it to the police, says the county DA
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Racist ranting entitled white lady from Torrance prequel video comes out
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Totally calm man takes a meat cleaver to the head, casually strolls into a hospital to see if staff can doing anything about his minor headache (graphic)
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Man loses Mr. Pickle's franchise after comparing BLM to the KKK
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The moratorium on evictions is about to expire, along with the end of the stimulus money. Uh Oh
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Ric Romero asks why COVID continues to spike. Obvious tag last seen hooked up to a ventilator in the ICU
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Photoshop this dressed up elephant
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President of Humane Society in Pennsylvania learns that being human and not insulting George Floyd are difficult. For him anyhow
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During the 1918 influenza pandemic's second spike, Americans resisted social distancing because of their penchant for bucking authority. Sadly history will probably repeat itself
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Washington State protesters will not be silent. They will not apologize. They will, however, host a kick-ass barbecue
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♫ Come and listen to a story about man named Jed / A poor mountaineer, barely kept his habit fed / Then one day he was looking at some tube / And saw that Florida had a lax attitude / About pills that is. Hillbilly heroin. "O.C." ♫
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Surveillance footage shows that while looting was going on at a Southside Chicago strip mall, Chicago police officers broke into a nearby office where they lounged, napped, and even made coffee. Holy Fark: the office of the local congressman
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Act like a third world nation and you'll be treated like one
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Statues of the worst person you've never heard of are coming down all over Belgium, and it's about farking time
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This one strange trick guarantees that your trip to Florida will be the best trip ever
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Scottish Parliament votes for immediate suspension of tear gas, rubber bullet and riot shield exports to a "racist state" who uses them as "weapons of oppression" to "brutalise marginalise communities". Yes, that's the US they're talking about
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Australia needs more wankers of color
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Banksy suggests an appropriate replacement for one of the pro-slaver statues that was taken down by protesters
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| Thu June 11, 2020 |
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Want to wear a scary mask this Halloween? Then wear your other mask now
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Las Vegas casino patrons doubling down on the stupid by losing to the house, grim reaper
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Choose Your Own Headline: A. "Marine V-22 Osprey damaged by just sitting on the tarmac" or B. "Marine V-22 Osprey survives being rammed by opposing aircraft"
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San Diego DA declines to prosecute protestors for BS charges like failure to disperse or unlawful assembly
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Annual Mayfly hatch from the upper Mississippi River gets picked up by weather radar
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From the Ric Romero Institute Of The Obvious comes a new study that shows that the leading cause of bad driving ... is bad drivers. Obvious tag last seen drag racing down the center lane
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| (Some Guy) |
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Behold the shiatty power of social media
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Photoshop this herding hound
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Georgia Sheriff posts a meme asking if the U.S. could start 'hanging traitors', finds out that yes, that was wrong and he wasn't supposed to do that
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember how the Mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012? Well, some Poindexters did the math and found it's set to end on June 21, 2020. Been nice knowing all of ya
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Whoever had escaped alligators on the loose in Kansas in your 2020 disaster pool, come collect your prize
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"But over the years, others have been hit and killed by trains on the trestle while searching for the Pope Lick Monster as part of a local urban legend that suggests "the goat man" can be summoned by stepping on the trestle or by crossing it"
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South Dakota may join 21st century if voters have their way
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Man almost becomes final casualty of the Civil War
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In this story's defence, it starts with a dairy-based low-speed non-collision and a poop-flinging incident before becoming horrifically brutal (possible nsfw content on page)
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Milwaukee police are burning through so much tear gas that they may not have enough to make a serious run at Mayor Daley's human rights abuse record by the time the Democratic National Convention rolls around in August
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Today 3pm Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream - come find out what happened today that's really important to know. Also afterwards we're going to try a dry run at Quiplash in preparation for tomorrow's Drew vs The Submitters livestream
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Vancouver has banned bear banging, but if you are brave enough, I say, why not
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Some cops have crossed the line and did the one action that's so atrocious that they are going to get kicked out of the police union
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this moon walker with his widdle rocket plane
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How come my Boy Scout manual never mentioned any of these?
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Is it safe to share the toilet during COVID-19? Wait, I thought it was just good sense to use it one person at a time?
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Swift action recommended by police expert in Seattle to take back CHAZ. Cher inconsolable. Sonny still dead
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| (Some Guy) |
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Aaaaaand...here come the genetically modified mosquitoes
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Attention, UK: Your sex bubble is approved
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Please do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to take selfies with the bear. Also, lock down your picnic baskets
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Attorney says client who drove car into protest got off easy because he's white, in rare case of brutal honesty from a lawyer
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This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Opal and The Lucy Show, as well as a major announcement. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #137. Starts @ 1PM ET, LGT streaming options
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The "October Surprise" this election year may be the fact that you are still alive in October, according to epidemiologists
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"Are you a terrorist?" "No." "Do you have the 'rona?" "No." "Ok, here's your boarding pass, enjoy your flight"
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Racism, pandemic, blah dee blah. The REAL issue is why are Arby's paper bags so strong?
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"Don't tase me 'bro." Bronx edition
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President Trump declares COVID-19 reduced to "ashes," which is technically correct because the virus gets cremated along with the 1,000+ bodies per day
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Are you bald? Congratulations, you probably have conronavirus. "We really think that baldness is a perfect predictor of severity"
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Musician served with complaint for gratuitous sax
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Creator of the Thin Blue Line flag is here to explain how it's totally not a racist symbol, nor a 'us vs them' mentality for supporting it. Yeah, sure
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One of the 4 officers charged in George Floyd's death, Thomas "Training Day" Lane, has apparently managed to come up with $750,000 to post his bail. Lane is expected to enter a plea of "Befehl ist Befehl" at a June 29th hearing
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Driver gets UFIA after failure to signal turn
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Tech company wants to give people microphones so their sounds of watching the game at home can be combined into crowd sounds for fan-less broadcasts. Get ready for lots of belching, beer farts and yelling at spouses
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Remember how their co-worker said that Chauvin and Floyd butted heads? Well, about that
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Onions have layers, COVID has layers. COVID way more likely to put you on a respirator, though. And it keeps throwing us curveballs
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People are now outraged about *spins wheel* Paw Patrol
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| (Some Find) |
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Photoshop this boy and his treasure
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Finally some good news - hot pants are back
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"We're shooting African Americans about 24 percent less than we probably ought to be"
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Fark NotNewsletter: Watch Drew lose to Fark's top headline writers
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The fact that he tried to help his racist arse up after knocking him the fark out says everything
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Today's Karen harassing a minority in the park is brought to you by Torrance, California
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You blew it, America. You were not ready to reopen from the coronavirus
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| (Some Guy) |
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White writer describes a time when she kept getting pulled over by the cops for vague reasons. She finally realized it happened at night and in the passenger seat was her large black dog
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Hospital tries new plan to drum up business by dropping window from 20th floor
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Not news: Restaurant stocking pamphlets on "How to Keep Yourself & Others Well." News: What happens when you scan the barcode
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Good news everybody. The Coronavirus isn't going to forget about us
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People grapple with the difficulty of belonging to a hated minority, says it makes them sad and feel bad. You guessed it, it's the cops and they're complaining about being profiled
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 788: "Y M C A". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed June 10, 2020 |
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Tell your mom to get ready to be busy
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Thanks to Republican malgovernment, Arizona hospitals are now overwhelmed by Covid patients. Sick tag is in the ICU
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Remains of missing children believed found at the stepfather's Idaho home. Normally a sad tag indeed... but somehow TFA managed to screw up the caption for the youngsters
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Looks like them Duke boys are at it again
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Florida Judge: Sure I lied in an attempt to see my son in jail but I was out of town when my judicial assistant filed an injunction against the person he is accused of shooting. Besides I never got to see him in jail, so it shouldn't count
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Today's Slatesplanation: Freakin' jump ropes, how do they work?
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Fifteen cases rapidly going to zero. Oh did I say zero I meant 2 Million. My bad
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Review of court documents show none of the indviduals facing federal charges in connection with the unrest have links to antifa. Logic dictates that can only mean one thing: Antifa has successfully infiltrated the US courts
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Now everybody, have you heard, if you're in the game. Then the stroke's the word, even if were waiting on the subway train
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"Japanese Murder Hornet" is the perfect start for a 2020 action figure series
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Poison Center records increase in poison exposures during pandemic, as many learn important life lessons such as "don't mix bleach and ammonia" and "don't breathe through a cloth soaked in disinfectant"
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Drew and Dallan are back with the Wednesday Fark News Livestream at 7pm Eastern. This week has been so busy most folks missed the aliens trying to contact us. Only partly kidding, that and more at 7pm
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this bubble of a more simpler time
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Good news, unemployed Floridians: you now have a full-time job of trying to get unemployment benefits from the government
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Remember, Cristobal was just a tropical storm...that hit Chicago
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According to the incident report, police with a no-knock warrant using a battering ram on your door = no forced entry
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Landing pad for ancient astronauts 'would be pretty neat parking space' if they just cleaned the rocks off, say experts (possible nsfw content on page)
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Domestic violence calls have been a "roller coaster" in North Alabama since COVID-19 first hit. Obvious tag says it still loves COVID despite all of that
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Walking around naked in Sam's and Walmart is no way to go through life son
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Statue of Robert Milligan standing outside London museum pulled down; witnesses say it was holding a small, shiny object the size of a gun and always had a troubled life often running afoul of the law
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Amount sent: $133. Transaction fee: $2.5 million
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Spain reopens nightclubs, immediately sets "Town from Footloose" rules
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The University of Cincinnati is struggling to answer the same question that now plagues many universities around the country: Can we hate someone for being racist, but still love and embrace them for being rich?
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And so shines a little black joy in a weary world
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Christopher Columbus statue gets beheaded overnight in Boston. Cue the "Simpsons Already Did It" plotline
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Photoshop these round rings
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When you have high school graduation in a field so everyone can space out due to Covid-19, make sure someone remembers to turn off the timer for the sprinklers
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(pinky to mouth) "$2 priceless trillion"
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Other fish run from bigger things. That's their instinct. But this fish doesn't run from anything. He doesn't fear
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After making inflammatory comments about George Floyd, CEO of Crossfit steps down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up. Now, let's do 20 shoulder presses
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NFL Star Von Miller's powerful essay on racism and protests for TIME isn't just for the Sports tab
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Russian bombers fly to within 8 miles from US airspace, apparently unwilling to accept that we can blow our own selves up just fine without the need for conventional warfare
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They may take our sports, travel, and dining out, but they'll never take our Jobbie Nooner. "But will revelers wear masks, when some don't even wear tops?"
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Calling all cars, calling all cars. Be on the lookout for a golf course beverage cart. The beverage cooler is empty. Repeat, the beverage cooler is empty
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The UK to reopen zoos but not schools - you do the math
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Seattle police chief meets with protesters at abandoned east Precinct. No word on number of casualties
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Nine out of ten Americans say the pandemic can reset 'business as usual' with only one in four saying that the current form of capitalism benefits society, apparently unaware that this isn't even Capitalism's final form
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President of Burundi born on a Monday, christened on Tuesday, married on Wednesday, got COVID-19 on Thursday, grew worse on Friday, died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, that was the end, of the President of Burundi
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NYC offers bizarre new sex guidance for New Yorkers to get their Covid-19 kink on. Bizarre? Guess whoever wrote this never visited the meat packing district in the 1980s and 90s
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Best Korea may be making millions by selling A: Nuclear technology? B: Weapons? or C: Sand?
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U.S. Customs and Border Protection commissioner:"CBP drones that were deployed during marches were not used to surveil protesters". No word on what they were supposedly doing otherwise
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Cop who killed George Floyd "bumped heads" with him when they both worked at a club, and "would have recognized him" when he arrested him
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190,000 Canadians who received COVID-19 emergency response benefits they did not qualify for: "Sorry. Here is the money back"
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Today is National Ballpoint Pen Day, so find out where your pen is and play with those balls
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Marvel: We just don't know how to discourage law enforcement from appropriating the Punisher logo. Small comic website: Fine, we'll do it for you
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption Alice and this rabbit
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"Live PD" producers admit they DID have footage, from multiple camera angles, in glorious HD, of TX cops tasing a man to death after pulling him over for a headlight infraction, but they..err ..destroyed it because who would want to see THAT?
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Disney hides racist movie, forgets to hide racist ride
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Virginia to return 1.3 million disease vectors to their incubator in September
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Whale's Vagina reinforces Blue Wall
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Massive, 30-foot beehive removed from wall of house, will cool pics of removal
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Tree Guevara
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Teenager gets lost on Mount Disappointment. This is not a euphemism
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Dr. Fauci says the worse is yet to come
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"What machine did you think they were raging against for decades? The ice cream machine? The ATM? Lawnmowers?"
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"It was a moment where strangers came together to help another stranger, and that stranger was me." Here is the story behind the photo of the protesters protecting the lone cop
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Every white American should read this even though Fark redlit it 10 hours ago
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Photoshop these window shoppers
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Freddy, the world's tallest dog, breaks a second record just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Texas District Judge candidate eggs Texas Judge's Lexus SUV in his driveway to protest an "unconstitutional" stay at home order. Goes to the door, hugs the Judge and tries to give him $20. Then it gets weird
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Calling all cars, calling all cars. Be on the lookout for a large figure near 36th St. Suspect described as hopping around in a menacing fashion
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While it's true that rats and rodents have become more aggressive in their search for food since restaurants have closed due to the pandemic, trying to eat a car engine still seems a tad....desperate
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Intruding on vegan secrets only dead men know
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Judge: Look, you've done this shiat for 400 years and enough is enough. No "absolute immunity for fear-based use of deadly force against African Americans"
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Marky got with Sharon, And Sharon got Cherese, She was sharing Sharon's outlook on coronavirus disease. Mikey held a protest because Bobby was a racist. They were all in love with dyin' 'cause they opened back up Texas
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The legal saga of the attorney who sued his dry cleaner over lost pants fifteen years ago for $54 million has finally concluded
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Southern university freezes tuition for first time in over a decade. Hell expected to be next
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Human remains found on the property of Lori Vallow's husband. Remember her? Her previous two husbands died, as did her brother, and her new husband's wife. Oh, and her kids have been missing since September
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Sixty-year-old Italian woman undergoes brain surgery. Of course, she cooks for everyone in the process
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| Tue June 09, 2020 |
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Kid's got a big mouth and it'll get him in trouble one day
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Man saves classic RX7 from being damaged by floodwaters despite not knowing who owned the car
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The WHO releases its new hit, Ball of Confusion
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Two men pose as police officers, steal $150K in daytime jewelry heist. Bystanders no doubt became suspicious, however, when no unarmed black men were shot
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Florida Woman accused of dressing as a clown to get new trial date. Well, she also shot someone, but yeah, that clown thing
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If you get an Amazon package with an engagement ring in it, an Amazon warehouse worker would like to talk to you
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Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Mike Gilday will be ordering the removal of the confederate battle flag from "all public spaces and work areas aboard Navy installations, ships, aircraft and submarines"
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Our long, dark nightmare is finally almost over, as Kentucky bourbon distilleries are allowed to reopen
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House filled up with stolen goods? Sell them on Facebook
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Subby is guessing OSHA allows this but anyways, mailboat jumper tryouts are back this Thursday
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China-India border dispute 'killing thousands' of goats raised for cashmere wool. Of course, with the two nuclear powers threatening war, this is no time for wool gathering
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Andean landscape
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It's like Romeo and Juliet if Romeo and Juliet were fighting and Romeo killed Juilet's dad, so basically it's nothing like Romeo and Juliet and Subby shouldn't have brought it up
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Georgia Secretary of State launches an investigation into voter suppression issues in minority areas. Report and fixes are due back possibly sometime after Wed. November 4th, 2020
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Because the world is so peaceful and calm right now, China is sending fighters into Taiwan's airspace
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Latest casualties of coronavirus: hookers and weed (possible nsfw content on page)
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Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse, a 24 year old man breaks the unspoken truce with an ancient evil race of monsters
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| (Prevail) |
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Best thing Subby has ever read on race and atonement for the US original sin of slavery. BTW, when did you first realize "atone" came from "at one," or making whole? (For Subby, it was today)
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How to deal with microaggressions, like when those gas-huffing modmins turn my beautiful greenlight into a redlit thread for NO REASON AT ALL YOU BASTARDS
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Cops request help identifying victims of police abuse. So they can arrest them. Good luck with that, guys. Your political capital balance is currently running a deficit
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Florida man lets 12-year-old drive Jeep 85 mph... He also told officers he had been drinking
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"We've got to find a way to come together" is a quote usually heard at one of our many bath salt and meth orgies, but in this case it is referring to removal of some of our many participation trophies
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WHY SO SERIOUS, judge?
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Hand sanitizer in my gin bottle? It's the new Australian way
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Seoul apartment complex
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Good to see the US is back on track to being No.1 for coronavirus stupidity in the world: 14 states and Puerto Rico hit highest seven-day average of new coronavirus infections. USA USA USA
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Guide on donating effectively to highest-impact groups working on racial and criminal justice with links. Subby has some pre-paid one month Total Fark memberships saved up and is going to give them to liters posting receipts in the thread
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The Eiffel Tower is reopening on June 25. It's suggested visitors wear a raincoat or bring an umbrella
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| (Some Guy) |
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Babynames.com announces solidarity with the black community in only the best way they could
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In much the same way that a full house beats a flush, Florida Cop beats a Florida Man
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If your farm has sheep, you have a border collie. If you are farming catfish, you get a trained snake
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Today is National Earl Day, so let's give a moment of contemplation for Fark's Favorite Earl, Henry
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Britain's Prince Philip turns 99 on Wednesday. Asked to what he attributes his long life, the Prince replied, "centuries of royal inbreeding"
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I hope they've learned to sanitize their database inputs
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Texas man was tased to death by cops after pleading he couldn't breathe after cops pulled him over for failing to dim his high-beams. Wonder if presence of the A&E "Live PD" film crew, MIGHT have played a role in the cops hyper-aggressive response?
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Black man dies in police custody on May 20 and an investigation into it just began because the UK is just starting to admit systemic racism in policing is a thing there too
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Man holds sign on corner to help address uncomfortable conversations on race
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On this day in history, in 1964, a CIA report challenged 'Domino Theory' policies. Subsequent 'Tiddlywinks Hypothesis' and 'Yahtzee Postulate' were quietly abandoned
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Weber State soccer player faces grilling after video shows he's more of a soccer hooligan
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Researchers find that contraceptives can make you fat. Well who the heck is eating condoms?
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I'll see your ring dropped in a Amazon box and raise it with a ring lost in a bag of green beans
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After becoming the first woman to take a spacewalk, Kathy Sullivan becomes the first woman to reach the bottom of the 35,000 feet deep ocean
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Alabama store owner calls cops on robber, gets punched by cops for his trouble. If you have to ask their skin colors
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And let's see how Arizona's freedom is going... hoo boy
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You're going to be shocked -- shocked I say, and perhaps stunned, amazed, aghast, appalled, and astonished as well -- when you see the photograph of the man arrested for burning down the Third Precinct in Minneapolis
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When you take the concept of having a "vanilla concrete" a BIT too far
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Tired of reading about bad white cops being who we thought they were? How about a change of scenery. Difficulty: you don't get to make fun of Camden NJ anymore
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Greenlight the mistake, bury the rest - here's what happens when police and Twitter mobs fark up and ruin your life
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Philadelphia police union proudly rolls out new t-shirt to support one of their own caught using excessive violence, doesn't understand what all the snickering is about
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Wendy's says its beef supply is almost back to normal
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Group of white men in the UK try to pull toppled statue of slave owner Edward Colston from Bristol Harbour in a metaphor for white supremacist incels everywhere
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Man takes a crossbow arrow to the chest, casually walks into hospital knowing that if it was to the knee it would have been more difficult to casually walk (possible nsfw content on page)
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Today is National Sex Day, let's celebrate by spicing up your sex life with these sizzling positions and roleplay tips
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Two Atlanta police officers say they shouldn't have been fired for stopping a car, smashing its windows and yanking the passengers out before they knew what was going on
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YAAAAAR, who be wantin' to sail to Mackinac Island with me scurvy crew?
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Liberty University's Director of Diversity resigns. Wait, stop laughing, I haven't even told the joke yet
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SWAT commander wants at least four dead in O-hi-o
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College students think it would be 'cute' to draw swastikas on themselves and post photos to social media. Narrator: "They thought wrong"
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Photoshop our future home
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Protip: When escaping from the Rozzers, not all dead ends are dead ends
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After the gas station incident, Karen Arizona is having an intervention because her husband says she's not normally a raving, unhinged, racist
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The final perceived injustice by the police. A popular Rhode Island doughnut shop ends discounts for police
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Let's check in on how the re-opening of Texas is going. As expected, it's a whole lot of "Hold my beer and watch this"
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Angry white man tries to physically intimidate fearless black woman at protest
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Today in completely normal things, the Seattle PD and the National Guard are seen completely emptying out and abandoning the East Precinct hours before a planned protest
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Press Sec. Kayleigh McEnany: "Mitt Romney can say three words outside on Pennsylvania Avenue but I would note this -- that President Trump won 8% of the black vote.". It's frightening they consider this a good thing
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Details about the latest effort to hunt down and punish those who leak information was leaked to this newspaper
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Now that the keeping a "sex slave" kerfuffle is behind him, Florida man files to regain his county commission seat
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Running from the police in Gravois Bluffs? ... Watch out for the bluff
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Man arrested during traffic stop for "possession of an infernal machine." Hail Satan
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| Mon June 08, 2020 |
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Minnesota State police, Anoka County sheriffs: we slashed the tires on the parked cars because they were threatening to us
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Give me your tired, your abusers, Your huddled asses yearning to break skulls, The wretched refuse of your policing force
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Experts file their 'well duh idiots' concern of the protests, say they are "not a good idea" when it comes to the spread of the coronavirus
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You cosplay dorks aren't helping
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Butte gets 7 inches it didn't expect
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You can now virtually tour the battleship New Jersey, prepare to invade Philadelphia
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Man SUCCEEDED in killing colleague with a forklift. The dark side of Rocky has become apparent
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And the hits keep coming: A glass shortage could be a huge problem for distributing a COVID-19 vaccine
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Problems facing Wisconsin: alcoholism, obesity, the Aaron Rodgers/Jordan Love dilemma, tropical storms, BLM protests... wait, back up a second
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