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Sun May 31, 2020
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Read this Christian dad's letter to the boy who "stole" his daughter's virginity
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK man dies after being attacked by cows, casting further doubt on herd immunity
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Think not living in an HOA protects you from busybody neighbors, think again
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for fatal stabbing at Escondido Burger King, with 'yeah, he did it' mugshot
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this corn
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sunday night civil unrest thread. LGT cities with curfews
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
"The massive supervolcano that could wipe out the U.S. is overdue." *looks at news* Yeah, I'll say
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. This week: Recreate a movie poster using MSPaint, Photoshop, etc.
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Aspiring Legolas brings a bow & arrow to confront protesters
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arch Daily)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Baseless accusations. New Hotness: Baseless houses. Look, I'm quarantined and it's hard to think up a decent headline OK
source: archdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy lichen his mosquitoes
source: i.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Over 1,400 were arrested at George Floyd protests, resulting in fears that a second wave of Coronavirus is about to spread
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pig)
 
 
 
A group of feral pigs destroyed over 20k worth of cocaine that drug dealers had stored in a forest. No word on how the pigs are doing but they were seen smiling
source: allthatsinteresting.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's a cliff hanger. As in, it's hanging over a cliff
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Genesee County Sheriff lays down baton and joins march protesting police brutality. "You tell us what you need to do." This is how you effectively police your community
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Tired of not being able to leave the house? Solution: just take the house with you. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Ummmm yeah, sorry about destroying that 46,000-year-old heritage site of yours. Oops
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Idaho...
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little house in the woods
source: scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Here's some happy stuff in case you need a break from the crappy stuff
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Photos show how restaurants around the world are trying to keep customers safe while reopening. If you always wanted your own Cone of Silence or thought it would be fun to be the protagonist from "I Am Legend," this is the pandemic for you
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Homeless man not allowed to move to his own property
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Show us your protective (against the novel coronavirus) face mask. Where did you get it? Did you make it? If so, have a pattern/instructions to share? Would you recommend it?
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
It's a 2020 Saturday night, the world's on fire, we're all worried, so here's some exquisitely detailed beautiful cut paper sculptures of animals to take your mind off things, if just for a minute
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Remember those videos of the stunt people who got bored during the quarantine? Well, it's the animators' turn to be bored now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Microsoft replacing MSN journalists with artificiaI intelligence. Evil robot commence
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Evidence of COVID-19 in patients. In November. In France
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2020
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
In case you missed it earlier this week and want something fun right now, enjoy the best squirrel obstacle course you'll ever see
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
What do people dealing with flooding need? Water. But, not just any water. They need strip club water
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Two kids, ages 6 and 7, borrow grandmother's car, take it for joy ride. If you're reading this on Fark, you know it went horribly horribly wrong
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, The Canadian Armed Forces are now to receive Hazard Pay for working in Long-Term Care Homes
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this baby platypus figurine
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Protests, curfews and now the National Guard. This is Saturday night's civil unrest thread
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
There were few arrests or looting during the demonstrations in Kansas City yesterday. Wonder why? Maybe because the police and protesters were on the same side
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
You might want to sit for this startling headline: Small cars still have higher driver death rates, IIHS study shows
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen tomato
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
An Amish-ish sect bring their support to Minneapolis
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Minneapolis protests taken over by out-of-staters according to Governor, State AG, and Mayors of Minneapolis and St. Paul
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Florida man on death row finds out another man has since confessed to killing the victim. Florida judge: "Sorry, that's not 'new evidence', you get to stay on death row"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch Bob and Doug launch into the Expanse at 3:22 PM ET after being quarantined from the protomolecule. SpaceX's coverage starts at about T minus 4 hours. Hopefully NASA can appease the weather gods or try SCE to AUX
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pew Social Trends)
 
 
 
Those darn millennials will turn 40 soon: an honest look at a generation
source: pewsocialtrends.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
I see your tennis racket wielder and your leaf blower mastermind and raise you a straight on bad ass kick shot artist
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Snack Team 6?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Tennessee decides that if the coronavirus doesn't kill you, the pesticides will
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Deciding the Minneapolis PD was getting too much attention, Louisville, Kentucky decided to open (less than lethal) fire on a camera crew
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hurricane season doesn't officially start until Monday, but we could have our third named storm before then because 2020 is just bound and determined to answer the question, "What else could go wrong?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
See topic tag
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Grown adult hasn't yet grasped the concept of candles
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Hong Kong protesters level up
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Masked Man)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: What a Fark face mask should look like
source: laserreproductions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Missouri recently reopened in time for Memorial Day, let's see how they're doi...oh dear
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Come visit the Furball Farm Cat Sanctuary, a place where every unwanted feline bad a** gets love on Caturday
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Siberian Times)
 
 
 
Russian attempt to race truck over damaged bridge ends with unexpected air time, truck in river. Let's see how them Grand Duke boys get out of this one
source: siberiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Well, things are certainly escalating fast
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is spreading too quickly for England's lockdown to ease up
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
There's no need to worry about coronavirus. Everything's just fine. So fine. Just relax. Yeah. Just fine
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACSH)
 
 
 
Put down the "pandemic porn", it'll make you grow the coronavirus on the palms of your hands
source: acsh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not much to do during lockdown except screw, especially if you're a zoo animal
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Article: "Virus lockdown forces Brits to be own dentists" You mean they weren't doing themselves before the lockdown
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Guy buys refrigerator that won't fit through his front door. What happens next will give you hope for humanity
source: ny.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Girlfriend sends man's 1967 Chevy Impala project to the junkyard while he's traveling. And you were mad when your girlfriend threw out your porn stash
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Daily Tribune)
 
 
 
Covidiot-run Missouri daycare that sued county over stay-at-home order may wish it spent less money on lawyers and more on PPE
source: columbiatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
"A riot is the language of the unheard" - MLK. Civil unrest continues in Minneapolis, Atlanta, New York, Louisville, Los Angeles
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Nothing derails a train like a Deere
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2020
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
On this date in 1453, a beautiful civilization fell
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stylist)
 
 
 
Why is this endless stay-at-home life making us extra sleepy? I mean besides the fifth of Jameson that separates lunchtime from dinnertime
source: stylist.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back with Fark Friday Night Movie Night. Tonight it's terrible instructional videos, including "How To Sell A Car To A Woman" from the 1970s among others. Join us for the watch party 9pm eastern
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Criminal complaint: "The defendant had his knee on Mr. Floyd's neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds in total. Two minutes and 53 seconds of this was after Mr. Floyd was non-responsive"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
"Hey, let's go on vacation to South America. What's the worst that could happen?"
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vertical reptile
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Rare Wolverine spotted in Pacific County, surprising researchers who thought they were all wiped out during Red Dawn back in the 80s
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Victoria Times Colonist)
 
 
 
Nagasaki survivor dies at 96. Fark: not Japanese
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man charged with hate crimes for attempting to locate and kill North Koreans, in move that might hearten survivors of Heartbreak Ridge or the Chosin Reservoir if he hadn't been looking for them in an apartment complex gym
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
When we say phones off during a public meeting, we mean it
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Please enjoy this collection of nature's nightmare fuel (warning: icky and creepy photos)
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you want to get close to Elon Musk now is a good time, it seems Satan is trying to make a deal with his partner. Weird tag meets its maker
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
American B-1Bs get a friendly escort over the Black Sea. Fark: MiGs and Sukhois, for the first time ever
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop quarantine-specific exercises. LGT examples
source: cdn5.vectorstock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
SpaceX astronauts to make second attempt to escape this furious hellhole of a planet on Saturday
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
High school graduation checklist: cap, gown, mask, jet ski. Wait, what?
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dear Drew, Please put your $@*&# squirrels back to work because they are driving me farking crazy in my coronavirus quarantine
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
College to start fall semester in the middle of summer to try to beat the flu season
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Minneapolis small business owner: "Let my building burn, Justice needs to be served, put those officers in jail"
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
NewsFlash
 
Derek Chauvin has been arrested days later than necessary
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Reads headline: "Hopefully it was just an accident" -- Watches video: "Holy fark"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some British Cynics)
 
 
 
The great British public have decided to give their verdict on a £300 "Anti 5G USB Stick" that assorted nutters have recently been selling. The reviews make for some nice light reading in these troubled times
source: uk.trustpilot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
No Sweden, bad Sweden
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China's foreign ministry says Canada is an accomplice to US government's efforts to bring down Huawei. Its cooler, more polite accomplice
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Turkish to start oil exploration in Eastern Mediterranean; continue keeping Tommy out of trouble
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Brazil sees a record number of virus cases, and 1,000 dead in 24 hours. Their Amazon is in really bad shape
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
George R. R. Martin buys historic railway, plans to make it six or seven times as long but spend 15 years laying the last 20 miles of track
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Minneapolis isn't the only city burning. Louisville has its own personal cop problems
source: amp.courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Mom disconnects home WiFi. Son disconnects power to the house. It's the Altoona way
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A 103 year-old woman beat Coronavirus, then cracked open a cold beer to celebrate
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Detroit Chief of Police on killing of George Floyd "Based on what I saw on that video, there's no question I would have directed an arrest. This was murder." When Detroit calls you out, you know you've failed
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Won't it be awkward if someone else opens her male?
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Do you want to go all 'Homer Simpson' and have your own nuclear reactor control panel? Here's a decommissioned one that's up for sale
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Woefully inexperienced army desperate to attempt one of the most difficult amphibious invasions in recorded history
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Omar Jimenez reporting live...take two"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Promiscuity is treason (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Brooklyn is stocking up on toilet paper, baking supplies, and acoustic guitars
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sounds like someone in Moscow is about to "fall" out of a window
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these birbs
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oh great, now there are COVID monkeys
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Twitter is finally doing it. Low bar for the Hero tag but, that's where we are
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A Slatesplanation of why police responses to the anti-lockdown and George Floyd have been so very opposite from each other. Almost like, I dunno, they're hot and cold? No, maybe wet and dry? Dang, there's gotta be some opposite imagery that fits here
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Don't shred that incredibly spammy looking envelope with no official markings. It's your Covid-19 money
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man 'stoned to death' at 15th century castle in Kent, England. Thankfully this wasn't France where cows would have been used
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN camera crew arrested on live TV in Minneapolis. They were standing where they were instructed to. The area was secured. UPDATE: They've been released
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTSM)
 
 
 
Police called in to control crowds as beer is once again available in Mexico. It's not news, it's Fark.mx
source: ktsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Scotland)
 
 
 
The last of the Desert Rats departs at 107
source: heraldscotland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Missouri)
 
 
 
If you are Amish, do not do your rumspringa at the Lake of the Ozarks
source: centralmoinfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"It is unclear how or why the woman was naked"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Skateboarders are beginning to reclaim their natural habitat: Water parks
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Why isn't there a Wisconsin tag? 'Bar May Finally End 43-Year-Old Tradition of Screening Porn on Weekends'
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People are so desperate, they are hooking up without asking if the other has corona.. So, same as usual then
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
The Onion's unbeaten streak continues
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
City employees getting hazard pay while working from home. To be fair, subby faces a high risk of injury from day-drinking and falling out of his chair during Zoom meetings
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Because what the world needs right now is a giant ALF statue
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
One Million Moms: If you watch Pixar movies, you are a sinner
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Queen has apparently "banned" Monopoly from being played at home because "it gets too vicious"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Waterspout hounds Baskerville
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
"Everything is sort of lining up in the direction that if we're serious about it, we can control this thing," he said. "We're just not being serious about it"
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Is calling it a melee instead of a civil unrest just being Minnesota nice? As violence moves into St Paul and the national guard is called this is your official Fark what the hell is happening in the Twin Cities thread
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cardboard cutouts
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"The kitten thankfully escaped and was not seriously hurt" but the oats are toasted
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Paging the next World's oldest man to the podium, the World's oldest man, Bob Weighton just died aged 112 from cancer (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back at 6 p.m. Eastern with the Fark Livestream News Summary - today featuring, among other things, new Swiss guidelines for sex workers, fantastic face tattoos, and chonky animals. And a COVID-19 update, probably
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Mexico's hospitals are killing as many people as the Coronavirus
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Man spends 24 hours vandalizing high school. What's that you say? Florida? Yes, of course, he was naked
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kenosha News)
 
 
 
The state formerly known as Wisconsin shall be re-named Wiscovid. "7 food, beverage servers test positive for COVID-19 in county"
source: kenoshanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After six-day manhunt, UConn student suspected in two murders and a kidnapping has been arrested, also facing extradition request from Greece, whose government demands he change his last name or take the middle name North
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Leprechaun whisperer talks to the little Irish fairies, says they 'don't have a problem' with the coronavirus lockdown and the pot of gold is still there at the end of the rainbow
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Uncle Bunky you were the one, Uncle Bunky you were so much fun. Why yes a beer has been created in your honor. Prosit🍺
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
From Texas to Wisconsin to California: "Sorry, no mask allowed, please bare with us thru the ridiculous fearful times"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
For some reason, police were able to quickly figure out who the suspects were
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these fly fishermen
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
A story as old as time: Companies shielding CEO pay while laying off their workforce during the COVID-19 outbreak
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
♩ "I'm gonna make my brown pond..♩..I'm gonna make my brown pond bluuuuuue" ♩
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Just don't ask about the special sauce
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
...and then things got weird
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Master Thief hopes to catch a break in sentence for 'Murphing' Brink's warehouse, in which $90M went up in flames after being set alight by a thermal lance. It's true, in crime, you have to watch where you're Murphing
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Vancouver police concerned about increase in random explosions, ask citizens not to bang bears
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Ten days in the hospital for COVID-19 treatment? That'll be $140,000, even with health insurance
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama school confirms student was COVID positive at graduation ceremony. That sound you hear is an army of lawyers putting on face masks
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Real-life Karens say they are not racists and would like to talk to the manager of the person who created that meme, just as soon as they are done getting their hair cut
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1754, George Washington spilled the first blood of the French and Indian war, setting up a series of increasingly bloody sequels that critics claim miss the point of the original
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Woman sprays Santa Rosa police officers with glitter after car chase,,,, that's it.... that's the headline
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has all but conquered the south
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some new wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes music from Captain Sensible, Alan Vega, and The Homosexuals. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #135. Starts @ 1PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It's an older meme, but remember: keep your hands to yourself
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Camel goes viral
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man locked in suitcase for 11 hours becomes carrion luggage
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Brazil surpasses the United States in number of daily Corona deaths. Of course once the weather in Brazil gets warm, the Corona should just vanish
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's harder than it looks 👀
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Joplin Globe)
 
 
 
The infamous Ben Dover, subject of crude middle-school jokes, has pleaded guilty to felony drug offense
source: joplinglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"Largest drone war in the world" saved Tripoli as Turkey intervened with armed drones, proving that as god is their witness, Turkey can fly drones
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
Minneapolis pawn shop: You loot, we shoot
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unilad)
 
 
 
Woman keeps selfie posted for half hour before noticing boyfriend wiping his arse in background
source: unilad.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
People have been getting their Kegel's inn for nearly 100 years
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Half of Americans are worried that after two months of junk food, alcohol and eating more carbohydrates while gyms remain closed will cause them to be fat forever
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Top scientists figure out how to make craft beer more enjoyable to drink
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Armed rednecks have taken sides in the protests: they are in support of the protestors, but protecting shops from looters taking advantage of the situation
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast, Todd recounts his Cannonball Run from NYC to Tampa in a U-Haul and Drew explains that when Kentucky Governor Beshear says he's not afraid of the Flu Klux Klan, it's because he's got the literal firepower to back it up
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
If you accidentally set fire to all the money you plan to steal, are you really a "master thief?"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas is one of only a handful of states in the country that assigns identical number combinations to multiple license plates. What could possibly go wrong?
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
"Two hundred thousand years ago on the plains of Africa, people had sex when there were no lions around. If someone saw a lion, no one got very hard or wet until it went away"
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moment of truth
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Smugglers attempted to push $16 million worth of heroin through Heathrow by putting the drugs inside fruit and nut boxes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I know this is going to be shocking for a lot of people but new video shows that the police who murdered George Floyd lied, he didn't resist at all
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Invasion of locusts in India. 2020 : it was biblical is what I'm gonna tell my kids because really it's what's happening
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fort Myers police sacrifice their precious Krispy Kreme donuts to lure a black bear away from city streets
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The police officer who killed George Floyd had more than a dozen police misconduct reports against him in his career but was never disciplined. It's like he learned something from that
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
Six packs of wolves tracked over a four month period. Personally, I prefer my wolves in bottles
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
100 years today Joseph Taussig Jr. was born. As a 21 year old ensign he was officer of the deck on USS Nevada when the Japanese attacked
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
DoJ arrests man plotting mass shooting in Tampa Bay area on behalf of ISIS who "expressed admiration for Pulse nightclub shooter Omar Mateen"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
"Go back to your own country" shouts hammer waving woman wearing Irish flag t-shirt
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Laura Loomer's "censorship" claims against Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter "do not warrant a published opinion." Oh, SNAP
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New study shows that asymptomatic cases of COVID-19 may be even more prevalent than previously thought and can shed the virus for 8 days, but go ahead keep complaining about having to wear a mask when you're "healthy"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 786: "Squares 4". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(10 News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for breaking into bank to heat up his Hot Pocket gives a FARK worthy quote "Hell yeah it was worth it"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Incompetent sheriff, who was forced to hire someone to run his jail for him, demands the right to change the resulting "jail utopia" back into the drug fueled, violent hellhole it's supposed to be
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
During the AIDS crisis when it was very necessary, he organized us and taught us to ACT UP... RIP Larry Kramer
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Detectives are searching for a man who they allege broke into a high school and did $100,000 in damages. He was described as wearing his birthday suit and headphones
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Protest on both sides of the 101 freeway in downtown Los Angeles
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
If you were going to read one uplifting story this week, this should be it. Tag is for the kid, the parents, and the chess coach
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Whoever's Adopt-a-Highway stretch this is will have their hands full for the rest of summer
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Someone is posting fake signs about murder hornets on Washington trails to create buzz
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Britain reporting "big surge" in...holiday bookings?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop this star doing the neutron dance
source: cdnph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
A crescent moon on my outhouse door? What's all this about?
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Will it ever be cured? No, it'll never be cured. And a vaccine is still unheard. It will spread forever 'neath the streets of Boston. It's the COVID of the MTA
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Some guy says the "spy" pigeon captured by India is just his pet, and the secret code it was carrying is his phone number
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Since we're having so much fun with the modern version of the 1918 Spanish Flu, Mother Nature is preparing to reboot the 1930s Dust Bowl
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cure your fear of flying and your constipation in one quick trip
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida Man, in the foyer, with the handgun
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Twitter's head of site integrity is being trolled on Twitter
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You get almost everything else from Amazon, might as well get your news too
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
"Emboldened Russia" is being re-categorized from "quaint cliche" to reality-in-the-skies in Libya
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Frazier History museum goes online, recording pandemic as it happens to allow future generations to understand how one makes tossed salad and scrambled eggs in quarantine
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg Law)
 
 
 
5/3 bank accounts in Chicago are fake, with 166% certainty
source: news.bloomberglaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Well that almost 3 minutes I'll never get back...and it was glorious
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
What can the Isle of Eigg teach us about building a new economy? Well, it's got to come before the chickens come home to roost
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stuck up frog
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's time to light that candle. Watch Americans launch into space from America. 4:33 PM ET. SpaceX coverage starts about 4 hrs prior to launch. *UPDATE* Launch scrubbed due to bad weather ⛈⚡
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Washington State loosens cougar hunting restrictions, possibly allowing bait hunting with bottles of white wine
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida angles to host pro sports, political conventions, possibly acute outbreaks of disease
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Homeowner uses their fire pit on their deck. What's the worst that could happen?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Woman, brother okay after seeing a turtle
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
State of Alaska: We can't afford public ferries, but the free market will handle it. Free Market: Oops the engine fell out
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada Post takes eight years to deliver a product from the 1950s
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back with the Fark Livestream News Summary - all the news you need, some you don't, and did China fall for an Onion article about meatpacking plants grinding up sick employees? We report, you decide - 3pm Eastern
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Teacher gives students valuable lesson in commitment (to casual racism and masturbation jokes)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Walkers found after 19 days in NZ wilderness. Michonne Hawthorne seen putting an edge on her katana
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
What do cocaine, sex, and whiskey have in common? At the very least, they have all been part of disinformation narratives on how to treat or prevent COVID-19
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
100,000
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Can't have a second wave if the first wave never ends
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Having a shoe fetish is old and busted, having a flip-flop fetish that makes you steal 100 pairs from the neighbors homes to use in randy romps with yourself is the new weirdness
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Herald)
 
 
 
Washington State city of Enumclaw demands to be allowed to reopen, citing low infection counts, failing businesses, and all those horses going unmolested
source: courierherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Headline: Heading back to the gym? Doctors explain how to stay safe. Article: Nothing is explained
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Now that New York courts are starting to reopen, here come the coronavirus lawsuits
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
"Children make terrible tenants. The law doesn't allow me to discriminate against people on account of children, but I can tell you I would rather have a Great Dane for a tenant than a three-year-old"
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Anti-Semitic crime rises in Germany from the far right. History may not repeat, but it's sure got a beat you can goose step to
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1972, the Strategic Arms Limitation Talks (SALT) agreements were signed. Afterwards, the Proposed Experiments for Possibly Preventing Extermination or Ruin were sadly not as successful
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jim Backus)
 
 
 
Oh, sure, now they tell us
source: safetyandhealthmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Finding the lowest power possible for a carrier F-35 launch sounds a lot like something Calvin's dad would would come up with
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
A new poll says half of Americans would get a COVID vaccine. The other half say "It's in Thanos' hands now"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Looking for a definitive list of networks carrying today's SpaceX launch at 430pm ET? Ta da
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CarBuzz)
 
 
 
Farmer : 1 Prick : 0
source: carbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Besides the tattoos, their biggest life mistake was stealing a Saturn (with mugshot goodness)
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New whistleblower complaint says Facebook hasn't shared true information about the drug trade and other illegal activities it's allowing
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Flaming Moe's
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The corona pandemic has made many American expats that moved to third world countries for cheap medical care realize that they live in third world countries with cheap healthcare
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tumbling dice
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beaches!)
 
 
 
Your dog wants a vacation at the beach? Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday here is a list of the 25 best dog-friendly beaches in the U.S. to visit in the future when it's safe
source: vacationidea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swiss brothels to forego the kink, will now limit customers to 2 positions to minimize coronavirus risk, 'doggy style' and 'reverse cowgirl', are now the only two options
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Maybe if they brought their AR-15s to the protests they wouldn't get tear-gassed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
COVID-19 takes a back seat as Karenovirus takes the lead. Latest hotspot: park where Karen is offended by "Mexican music" and is finally contained by everyone laughing at her. Bonus: the face of the guy with the fishing rods
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fallacious)
 
 
 
Were they trying to be dirty? "mounted," "position," "head," "creams," "piece," "nailed," "wood." Oh, and "rough faced shag"
source: collection.pukeariki.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Got your antibody test results and feeling reassured? Don't be. CDC now says those tests are wrong half the time
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Small town Texas bar bans anyone wearing a mask from entering the establishment. The bar owner cited that coronavirus makes a good drinking buddy for their friends alcoholism and liver cancer
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Chinese state-run media call US threats of sanctions over Hong Kong 'nothingburger' but Hong Kong is 'baconator'
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Express)
 
 
 
A Texas 'event planner' who won a $39 million federal contract to deliver food to lower-income residents lied about his about his credentials and client list and has not delivered as much as one meal, according to reports
source: expressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Groom requests refund from wedding photographer after his bride dies. As the wedding photographer, do you C) create website threatening to sue the groom?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
For anyone under the impression that "I demand muh gawd-given right to die over trivial inconvenience" is a new phenomenon in America
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Well, sheeeiat
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Criminal justice reform advocate charged after sneaking on to the construction site of the new jail to hide guns and handcuff keys in the walls. Andy is impressed
source: amp.tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Russian Air Force takes another swing at the "I'm Not Touching You" high score. With "see if I can have a little fun with him" photo
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wisconsin allows any two people to self-solemnize their marriage by mutual declaration, unless the couple happens to be atheist, of course
source: atheists.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This is the leading indicator 2020 deserves
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gambling? Extortion? Murder? Aye no, we were just a couple of baby formula mobsters
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dodger Stadium now largest coronavirus testing site in California, hoping to avoid patients leaving early to beat the traffic
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A 46,000 year old site, declared sacred by Aborigines destroyed to make room for mining expansions
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Thieves break into concession stand at Arkansas sports complex, use it as personal kitchen
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
How do you say "cross-border booty call" in Danish?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Louisiana: Praise God and pass the ammo
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Minneapolis starts program of community outreach after the death of George Floyd. Just kidding, they're tear gassing the protesters and shooting them with beanbags
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
How to tell your pet that it's safe for you to go back to work now: First, take them by the paws, look them in the eyes, and say "I'm crazy"
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Imagine being the complete and utter turd who thinks they're being some kind of conservative hero by doing this to JOHNNY CASH'S GRANDDAUGHTER
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Afghan government to set 900 prisoners free, although some critics suggest it's probably just some kind of doorbuster scam to get people into their store
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Hospitals overwhelmed as coronavirus cases explode in India, showing the dangers of treating Covid-19 patients with dynamite
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
This quarantine has got some people climbing the walls, and in Florida it goes double for the alligators
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this observation tower
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
We'll not only match any deal you get on n95 masks, we'll beat it. Just ask for me, the Masked Man, here at Masked Man Auto and Medical
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canada rocked by violence as rival gangs resort to murder, arson, and fraud to control valuable... tow truck territory?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry thinking about moving to NYC where they can be properly ignored by the commoners (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Boy escapes brown bear, brown shorts
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
TV shows, foreign food, and social media influencers are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 3-9 Memorial Day Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"Both Koreas" violated armistice in DMZ exchange of gunfire, UN says, while threatening to send them both to their rooms
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Now that Memorial Day celebrations are over, let's look towards a new type of hero
source: widerimage.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Remember that judge whose advice to a rape victim was "close your legs?" He ain't a judge no more
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Westerly Sun)
 
 
 
Did a murder hornet write this?
source: thewesterlysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The elderly resident confessed to the medics that he was using the stick to check his haemorrhoids 'out of curiosity'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
More proof you don't need to mow the lawn during this 96-day weekend
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
While society continues to break down in the United States, Chinese researchers are testing a vaccine candidate that's just passed peer review
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
In a tale right out of CSI Idiocracy: Lawbreaking elected constables arrest FBI agent investigating them. Later one of the constables shoots at FBI agents arresting him, gets shot, arrested
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Over 40% of workers tested at fruit plant have coronavirus. Those at nearby shrub still lacking tests
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this super twister tournament in the park
source: s.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You spent the pandemic watching Netflix and drinking. Meanwhile, this guy was living his best life
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1865, Confederate General Kirby Smith surrendered, facing criticism for failing to provide relief to Vicksburg, Mississippi in spite of his ability to float and copy his enemies abilities by inhaling them
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Passed out drunk is no way to float down a river, son
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Central Park Karen has been fired
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Unless you have a better answer on what McDonald's hamburgers are made of, I suggest we consider this to be good intel
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
These Houthi rebels see the spoiler on your Camry and raise with a 20 mm M167 Vulcan VADS on a Toyota
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pointing your gun at your own crotch with the safety off "to own the libs who want gun control" is no way to go through life, son. But it's becoming popular on Twitter. Inevitable hospitalization/death stories in 3... 2... 1
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
It was only a matter of time before some people started to have clandestine meet-ups for sex due to the coronavirus pandemic
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maritime Executive)
 
 
 
Japan tests remote-controlled tug jobs
source: maritime-executive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quanta Magazine)
 
 
 
Headline:"Growing anomalies at Large Hadron Collider raise hopes". Original "Growing anomalies at Large Hadron Collider raise concerns" headline was sucked into a parallel universe and replaced with this one
source: quantamagazine.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Unless you live in Chicago, the pandemic has caused a reduction in crime
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bored, stuck at home, got the traveling Jones and more money than you know what to do with? Rent a luxury RV complete with driver for $50K a week
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
California church asking Supreme Court to block Gov. Gavin Newsom's restrictions on in-person church services. Matthew 6:6 surrenders
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Priest shoots baby with water pistol, social-distance baptizes the kid for life
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mmmm... Cosmic ring of fire donuts
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
In completely unforeseeable turn of events, online alcohol delivery services are ignoring rules and serving drunk people
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
India detains pigeon on suspicion of spying for Pakistan. Pakistan retaliates by kidnapping a sacred cow. Hostilities imminent
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Classic tales with classic titles: "Weasels ripped my flesh," "I was a male war bride," and "I was trapped naked on a German fire escape"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ladders)
 
 
 
New study finds that if you start to experience the loss of smell it could indicate that you will be getting a more mild case of coronavirus. Hitler's dog relieved
source: theladders.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Today is World Redhead Day, so let's see some Ginger Snaps
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
I can't breathe
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
You know those "share the trail" signs? Grizzly bears can't read
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Expect a massive coronavirus spike in Indiana in 14...13...12...11...days and counting
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Conspiracy theorist and "performance artist" wears a bikini made from face masks outside a Trader Joe's to protest social distancing. Warning: nothing in the actual article makes any more sense than this Fark tagline (NSFW)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The list of things to check off on the We Didn't Start the Fire verse that is 2020 will now include energy blackouts
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Naked man arrested in the road in Myrtle Beach. With 'Yep, he's naked' video
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How do you sell a $15 million penthouse in the middle of the pandemic? Here's today's Slatesplanation, featuring an interview with a real estate agent who refers to himself as the "Danielle Steele of real estate"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro Weekly)
 
 
 
Christian teacher charged with soliciting male prostitute after claiming black men kidnapped him. Fred Garvin shocked
source: metroweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Shop worker refuses to serve woman because she has no Covid-19 face mask on. Not a problem for her, she just strips off to use her soiled knickers as a face mask. Ewwwwww (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Dad saves son from rare WWI grenade turtle. Bonus: dad is an "ex-juggler"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
WHO warns of Second Coronavirus Peak, still can't match the magic of "It's Hard"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop these playful foxes
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
County official orders all the idiots who violated common sense and social distancing orders in order to yeehaw it up at the Lake of the Ozarks to quarantine themselves
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois Flu Klux Klan protesters crowd around Buckingham Fountain to protest reopening things they'd never use, like fitness centers and vegan coffee bars
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
America: We've sure got some stupid conspiracies about COVID-19's origins. Britain: Hold our tepid beer
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Humanity in one headline: "It's a sad day" for pro-democracy protesters, but analyst says new law probably won't hurt investors
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Are you getting "maskne' pimples from wearing your mask?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The Justice Department launching an investigation into Ahmaud Arbery's death as a hate crime. Better late than never
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Central Park Karen's employer frowns on her 911-calling shenanigans
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
WHO stops trial using hydrochloroquinine for COVID patients. Who? WHO. No, who? WHO. Stop saying that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Who do you cheer for when a drunk driver hits a man accused of running from the scene of an assault?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
And here we have my collection of hand painted landscapes I did while in quarantine. You can especially see the detail in the Planter's Cheeze Ball container buried in the snow
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Karen files a false police report about "African American man threatening her" by asking her to leash her dog where it's required. Bonus video shows her jerking her dog all over hell instead of using leash she has
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
DUI driver lands in deep doo
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
The SPECIAL hell
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Taking online courses at an expensive 4 year college is making the low cost community college option more appealing to students with little income
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
NOOOOOO, not the Doughboy memorial statue, not on Memorial Day FFS
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 25, 2020
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Japanese man busted after swimming across Imperial moat to reach palace grounds, didn't even get to learn if princess was in another castle
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Ok, that's pretty cool. Gallatin County HS seniors get a 'Victory Lap' at the KY Speedway for putting up with all the chaos of the past few months. Beats the hell out of paying $400 for the ride along that they normally charge
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian man decided $34 a month was too much to pay for universal health care, but now believes his having to pay for cancer treatment proves the system is broken
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Man taken to hospital after chase treated for injuries suffered: a) During crash where he flipped a minivan; b) During his interaction with police as they caught up to him or c) While fleeing the crash as he ran right into a barbed wire fence
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
A Memorial Day history lesson: The Merchant Marine suffered a higher casualty rate than any branch of the military, losing 9,300 men, with most of the losses occurring in 1942
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop Gatlinburg's SkyBridge
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Quality fire burns Quality Inn
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT) three Old Time Radio shows - Our Miss Brooks, My Favorite Husband and a 6-part Superman
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not another Spider-Man origin story
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Residents of famous 'hippy town' watched a ring shaped UFO for 40 minutes. At least they think they did
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Our flag was still there ... sort of
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just in case you think America's got a lock on the market of craziness, here's a drunk guy who jumped the fence at a Polish zoo to wrestle a bear
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sunbather just has the worst luck
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Pay no attention to that field filled with giant crumbling heads of our past presidents, particularly that bust of Lincoln with a gaping hole in the back of his head
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Hospital angrily denies presence of snake in operating theatre, insists there was only a monkey
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wait, that's an option when you're getting robbed?
source: lakemchenryscanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
I have no idea about what coronavirus rubbish you're talking about, so here's a bunch of Scottish residents dancing with their wheelie bins to Tina Turner's cover of Proud Mary
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bloomberg: "It's a modern quandary for the ultra-wealthy: a yacht awaits at harbor, but how to safely reach it without risking exposure to the germ-ridden masses?"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Great headline WaPo. Yer growing up. Next up, solid food and having your reporters ask direct questions like "You know that's not true. Why are you saying it?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Photoshop these python hunters
source: