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Sun May 24, 2020
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man charged after runaway toddler seen on highway. That's no laughing matter, you gotta chain those suckers down or someone could get hurt
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
University of Michigan president says if students aren't back on campus in the fall, there will be no football
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flat sax player
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome Fark Artists to your Fartist Friday Contest. Our theme this week: Create a Fark-themed Greeting Card using anything you like - Photoshop, MSPaint, ol' pen and paper, etc.
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia has gone from apocalyptic wild fires to once in a decade end-of-the-world type storms
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Wanna watch a Sheriff get arrested after refusing to cooperate with a search warrant and forcing a SWAT standoff (including snipers) of the Sheriffs HQ by several neighboring departments? Almost Florida level fun
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"I give orgasms to 5,000 women a day" (possible NSFW content on page)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sunbathers
source: i.insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"National parks hope visitors comply with virus measures." You mean the people who manage to fall into fenced off hot springs and try to make selfies with bisons? Sure, good luck with that
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My NBC 15)
 
 
 
"It was absolutely fabulous. It looks like America's opening up. There are literally thousands of people out here on the beach" Narrator: *Drinks heavily*
source: mynbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Things you can get at drive-throughs: lattes, hamburgers, fries, chemo, chicken sandwi- wait, what?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Not News: 65 year old Texas man dies. News: due to injuries from aggressive consensual sex from his better half. Fark: an 81 year old man. UltraFark: whom he's related to
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Karen demands to talk to your manager about this shoplifting policy. Grab a lawn chair, be right with you
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
High school seniors thought they had everything taken away from them in their last year of high school, then suddenly HOAs
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Big pool party in Arkansas follow-up: What's your vector, Victor?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Of course it started at a country club
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The heavy rains in the Plains defeat subby's sad attempt to make a rhyming headline
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Bicyclist irate that he isn't served at the Dairy Queen drive through, and then it gets weird
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these isolated kayakers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That one time at summer camp
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
'Empty the jails' beneficiary can't handle the freedumbs of outside life, gets rearrested in 45 minutes after being released
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Most Americans will express their common sense
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Coronavirus might kill you, but this Memorial Day, so will improperly cooked hamburgers
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Wine Ninjas are spreading happiness and good cheer. The world needs more wine ninjas
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Man, the next season of Ozark is going to have a lot fewer people
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Harrison, Hardy, Henry and Hudson are extremely rare identical monochorionic quadruplets. Texas always has to do it bigger
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Here's an article telling you to worry about something that they say is very unlikely to happen to anyone
source: big979.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
ATVs are great fun on dirt roads, open spaces, not so much in mine shafts
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Drunk driver caught speeding down highway in go-kart. No helmet, just a cowboy hat
source: london.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
CDC warns of a new pestilent threat in America: "roving rat armies" engaging in "unusual or aggressive rodent behavior"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Serious question, have you ever had a possum's butt break through your ceiling?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Man spends 32 seconds videotaping the breach of the Edenville Dam in Mid-Michigan. The reason the video isn't longer is because he was too busy trying to find out if anyone was calling 911
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
The New York Times lays it out in black and white (link updated)
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thrilled twirler
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Hedge fund head honcho upset that people listen to advice from doctors and epidemiologists during a medical pandemic and not REAL experts like hedge fund managers
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Last unwitting Nazi finally dies at Moscow Zoo (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Has the COVID-19 lock down taken a toll on how much of Douche Bag Hipster you are? Fear not D-Bag, this $300 mask will put you right back on top
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Mechanical Museum and SS Jeremiah O'Brien survive 4-alarm blaze as San Francisco's Pier 45 briefly becomes the world's fastest producer of smoked fish and roast crab legs
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Doctors actually admit there are several COVID-19 conspiracies that are 100% true and YES, Bill Gates is in on it
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Susan Smith 2.0
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unladen swallow
source: media.timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Boy, how lucky am I now that I didn't sell my Drive-In theater to make way for a Home Depot
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
A silver lining in the fight against COVID-19: 43% say they've 'changed for the better' thanks to the lockdown. Which still leaves 57% happy about being compete selfish arseholes
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Brooklyn coronavirus hospital closes... without EVER opening. $21 million well spent
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Pontiac Fiero Museum destroyed by floodwaters. Damages estimated to be in the tens of dollars
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
♪ Sneeze and a haircut / 91 exposed ♪
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Anti-nuke group says Michigan flood shows the US is unprepared for 'nightmarish' threat of a nuclear disaster combined with the coronavirus pandemic. To say nothing about the giant meteor that is heading straight for the middle of the country
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The pandemic may have finally allowed women to realize they're doing way too much
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Las Vegas can never be known as the place where people go and get sick," says official on plans to reopen the City of Lost Wages in two weeks. What are the odds he's going to regret saying that?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Warning issued after wolf approaches woman with stroller. Why the wolf had a stroller is anyone's guess
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive senior
source: media.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
While you freak out, panic drink, and gnaw your fingernails to their nubs, it's the children who are totally chill living in a pandemic
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Cats have performed some amazing tasks in ubiquitous online videos. But one feline video opus will help save struggling movie theaters during the Covid-19 pandemic. Welcome to Caturday
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Woman with Irish name gets rude email telling her she's been pronouncing her own name incorrectly her whole life ... by someone who's "studied Irish quite a bit." Let's see how this went over
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The sound of pan pipes has been echoing around a German castle 6 hours a day for 73 days. Needs more cowbell
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Good news: only 24 states have uncontrolled outbreaks of coronavirus now. Memorial Day stupids determined to beat that record
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Airline traffic has dropped off so much that even a TV news helicopter can get a slot in the pattern for a major airport
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Iowa meatpacking plant worker dies from COVID-19 one week before he would've retired
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's not a good idea to rob a bank where the teller may recognize you as a customer. Do you understand that, Mr. Fire Department Captain?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy releases video of a ship downing a drone with its frickin' laser beam during the first at-sea test. Pew pew!
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
America's longtime harbinger of Memorial Day, the AAA traffic forecast, has been called off due to lack of traffic this weekend
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Move over, Florida Man: Georgia Man charged with faking COVID-19 diagnosis, panicking co-workers and costing employer over $100K
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
There's no need to find Fark's favorite low bridge when you drive around with your bed raised
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Dynamite monkey taunts dynamite monkey
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
♫ I need a HERO So I'll just hop across the highway and borrow it til the end of the night He's got to be strong and he's got to be fast ♫ and wow that cop is strong and fast
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Contact tracing is a lot more than calling up people to tell them they're under house arrest
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"I need your boots, your motorcycle, and your...amusing plastic frog?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
So you think wearing a mask is a violation of your rights? Let's ask a constitutional lawyer and see
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Okay, when we said your hand sanitizer might spontaneously combust, we meant to say it won't spontaneously combust
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
The Great Minnesota Get-Together will not get together
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sunken rhino
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Walking down main street naked while totally sober? That takes some balls
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Thinking sheltering in place has been difficult for you? What if your house had 161 rooms, sprawling gardens, and decapitated specters? Someone always has it tougher
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
♫ I'm your ice cream man, stop me when I'm passin' by ♫
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
On this week's podcast, a roundup of morons on social media refusing to wear masks, meth hair accessories, and Newsweek's article about Drew being a Time Traveler drops mid-show. Come hear the explanation for Drew's 2015 tweet from the future
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sure, debt collectors in the US can be nasty, but at least they don't auction off your dog
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
What would Jesus vandalize? A church in North Carolina for starters. You got to nip these things in the bud
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
SARS-CoV-2 is compromising cellular mechanics in ways heretofore never observed by virologists
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
First it was Flu Klux Klan rallies at the Capitol, then the dams breaking in Midland, now a live Civil War cannonball found at a recycling center in West Michigan. Subby is going to hole up in Detroit for his own safety
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Jenga loser
source: ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
People are taking advantage of the warm weather and the lockdown nearing its end to overdose with fentanyl-laced drugs
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
Boobies
 
Alabama single moms rejoice as strip clubs reopen at 1700 hours today. Baby needs a new pair of shoes
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Crayola reintroduces flesh-colored crayons
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK scientists discover most seriously ill Covid-19 patients have extremely low T-cell count, raising hopes for possible treatment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
7 questions answered on how to socialize safely as coronavirus restrictions ease. 8) Don't forget to change out of your house pajamas before leaving
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Is it time to stop giving carers the clap? Use protection when having sex with front line workers, people
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The Governor of Washington State should be arrested for acting "in treason and sedition against me" says barber shop owner, in today's entry in "Man who has no idea what words mean speaks out"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
In honor of World Goth Day, let's find out what 'Goth' really is. thank you for coming to my TED talk
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indian Express)
 
 
 
Officials now say there were survivors of the Karachi plane crash, ask public for suggestions on where to bury them
source: indianexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
N.J. woman accused of fatally beating wife with wine chiller captured in Texas. Wine chiller currently under interrogation Lone Star style
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about. Why, right now they're pooping on our lettuce"
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Skynet can now make personality judgments based on your photographs. In no way can this ever be used against you
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Jersey shore braces for a plague worse than COVID, the invasion of the unlocked-down New Yorkers
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
What does Kim Jong-un and Drew Curtis have in common? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hindu)
 
 
 
Reprimand your drunk brother for creating a ruckus? Serious business
source: thehindu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Taunton school principal arrested for driving 110 mph under the influence. And you thought they smelled bad on the outside
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Were... were there donkeys? Please tell me there were donkeys. Pretty much everything about this is NSFW (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New study of 90,000 COVID patients finds those who took hydroxychloroquine were twice as likely to die, had dangerous heart complications. That sucking sound you hear is the lawyers warming up their malpractice lawsuits
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
With lockdown eased we had a lovely day at the seaside, Mum went paddling with little Amy. Dad showed Bobby how to make sand castles. Uncle Jim curled one out and left his pants on it. The ice creams. The...wait. What?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
San Francisco's oldest gay bar 'The Stud' to permanently close due to pandemic
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Elementary drive-thru graduation interrupted by large "shut the f*ck up" sign from angry neighbor
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
The Arizona mall shooter came with 90 rounds and was targeting couples. Then the AR-15 jammed
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
'Dreamer' brothers grow up, become ICU nurses working on front lines of COVID fight, still face deportation because why?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Alabama has been holding graduation ceremonies packed to capacity with the end result being packed hospitals
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog and pony show
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Plane crashes, killing all 107 onboard. Coronavirus seen shaking tiny fist
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Will the hot weather kill Coronavirus?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
15 times adults soiled themselves and lived to tell the tale
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Son stabs and kills his father during Zoom meeting, illustrating just how advanced web-conferencing has come
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News asks the question no one is asking during the pandemic. And I mean no one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Airlive)
 
 
 
If you find parts of a Boeing 737 in your backyard, Swift Air would like to have them back. Maybe
source: airlive.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
Hundreds of mysterious crop circles suddenly appear all over the country. I'm saying it's aliens
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Missouri grocery reopens salad bar and shoppers are head over heels
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
The best way to beat Covid-19 is to steal a helicopter and shoot up the hospital until they release all the patients they're quarantining
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Guts)
 
 
 
Expecto Covidoso
source: newsandguts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A very high team of Canadian scientists believes they have found that strong strains of cannabis could help prevent and then treat coronavirus infections. Pass the bong dudes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Financial Post)
 
 
 
That's a nice, round number, 300 million doses
source: business.financialpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Wilson Roosevelt Jerman, White House Butler to 11 presidents, dies from covid-19
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mayor lies in a coffin and pretends to be a coronavirus victim to avoid arrest after breaking curfew rules to go drinking in Peru
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Men's Health)
 
 
 
Ow my balls
source: menshealth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
NYC announces an immediate doubling of service to export Staten Islanders out of Manhattan. Still no cure for New Jersey
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Scope of the Ahmaud Arbery shooting has evolved, and now William Bryan (no, not that one) has been arrested. Clarence Darrow unavailable for comment
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
ProTip: you should choose materials for your arts & crafts projects that aren't wolves and bald eagles
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this violinist
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Before heading back to the office, you might want to ask if anyone has flushed the toilets in the last two months
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Fapping in station cars to child pornography is no way to cover the news Lester
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
People are fighting to get into newly reopened Ross. THEY WERE ON A BREAK (with video)
source: kurv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
So you're telling me that Beer Influencers are a thing. Man, I need a drink
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Stabbed through the heart, and you're to blame, you give loons a bad name
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Now batting for the Yankees, the drive in movie theater
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Is that a stolen puppy in your pants, or are you happy to see me?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Some German demonstrators have taken to wearing a yellow Star of David to highlight what they see as the stigmatisation they face for refusing to receive a vaccination against the virus, should one become available
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ladies will find your profile pic more attractive if you use a filter
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In rare GOOD Covid news, the CDC has a very effective treatment for the version killing kids (MIS-C). Of a test group of 33, the mortality rate was 0 percent, and 82 percent had been discharged from the hospital
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Build tunnels to riverfront by removing railroad tracks along riverfront near a dam, excavate, install culverts, refill the area, then put the railroad tracks back in place. Fark: In 36-hours. Construction workers & crew: No problem
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Article on the coronavirus "de-churching" America. Maybe God got finally sick and tired of American Christians and sent a plague to put an end to it. Everybody else is just collateral damage
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
When you want to get away for a nice, quiet vacation this summer, here's some places to go where everyone else will be because we've told you where to go for a nice, quiet vacation
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Coast Guard unloads $37M of cocaine seized at sea, looks to trade it for an 8-ball of hydroxy
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely beach
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Freeway ✔ Flare gun ✔ Father is a serial killer ✔ Launch 🚀
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Two French boys find a golden surprise in their Grandmother's bed. And no, this is not a plot summary from a dubious form of online adult entertainment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When you've got Jesus Christ pulling a knife in the Dollar Store and then, in the very next article, the successful defusing of a penis glitter bomb, one might think one was in Florida. One might think
source: forestparkreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Siblings virtually graduate from law school and medical school on the same day, decide to visit grandfather at window of nursing home in caps and gowns, stir up a lot of dust
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Some coronavirus survivors are now feeling shunned by relatives and friends and feel like outcasts. For some the 'relatives' part is a bonus
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Turns out that silly, little radiation scare outside a Seattle hospital could have been worse
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Texas Mayor: You can't deliver the invocation at Town Council meetings unless you have a young penis. Yes this happened in 2020, not 1950
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
How long before Amazon corners the meth-by-mail business, putting small mom-and-pop meth-by-mail-order operations out of business?
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Mexico City's mayor says it will begin reopening on June 1, refuses to confirm whether a taco is a sandwich
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Her cellphone number used to be Elon Musk's. I hope she answers with "Hello, and welcome to Moviefone Press one if you'd like to hear"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 2000, former US President James Garfield's bullet-ridden spine was put on display. Herbert Hoover's prehensile lizard tail and George Washington's mechanical claw remain under wraps
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
First you get attacked by dogs and flatline twice during surgeries, then you get COVID at the rehab facility
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
And you thought flying changed after 9/11? Just wait
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Uncertain Times New Roman: Lends attractive gravitas to the hollowest of slogans and integrity to self-serving platitudes in these uncertain times
source: uncertaintimesnewroman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
In hundreds of letters mailed between 1946 and 1956, "Furrier No. 1" explained that he was, despite misspelling his title and writing in vernacular English, Adolf Hitler, and he'd. set up camp in Kentucky to plot a "new revolt" and take over the US"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Ok, who started playing Jumanji?
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Kids love to catch bass when they go fishing in local lakes. Others catch sunfish or catfish. Then there's THIS kid
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I guess that's a kind of cure
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Half of all Twitter accounts Tweeting about the coronavirus are bots. The other half are Russian trolls
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Rookie UK police officer doesn't get the free donut thing, now banned from force for life after stealing seven huge English breakfast fry-ups within first week on the job
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes a music from Dramatis, The Tragically Hip, and Clan of Xymox. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #134. Starts @ 1PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Attempted Murder-Suicide ends with unsuccessful murder but successful suicide, so glass half full?
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
Drew's time travel tale was picked up by Tech Times, and while they do say he was joking, they also sort of seem to think, "You know, this guy just might be legit"
source: techtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Man 'feeling fine' after having rod in him. Rod last seen smoking a cigarette
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Argus (UK))
 
 
 
"I think we should be more stricter like Spain and none of us be allowed out." Says man on a day out in Brighton, with his family, drinking a cold beer
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
Hey guys, wouldn't it be so much fun if we honored our graduating senior class by having a printer make a photo collage of the school logo, using the kids' faces as pixels? Looks like we have just enough minorities to shade in the black lines
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I know it's a quiet place these days but the NYC subway is not your personal love making spot
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
"Tiny hippie enclave" of Bolinas, north of San Francisco, mounted one of the most advanced COVID-19-testing efforts in America by testing itself. Here's what was learned
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Ankle monitors on accused violent offenders deactivated after program runs out of money
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Texas, police ask local TV news stations to broadcast a decapitated head. It is not on the back of a turtle
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Copperhead viper not a fan of teenager's dancing routine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Pools will test the limits of social distancing. Especially gene pools
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wealthy landlord problems: Landlords in the Hamptons having problems throwing out wealthy tenants who are SQUATTING in multi-million dollar homes because they're refusing to pay rent after NY issued a non-eviction order due to the coronavirus crisis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Come on guys, it's not just a bunch of heartless boardroom plutocrats that want you to get back out there and die for the economy. The dolphins want you back out there, too. You don't want to let down the dolphins, do you?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTXS Abilene)
 
 
 
Spontaneous creation is a miracle, not a dumping
source: ktxs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
That Michigan dam had repeated safety violations before breaking. Yoopsy-daisy
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A thousand vicars vow to vector
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Now here's something NJ residents haven't heard in two months, one hour delay at the Lincoln Tunnel to get into Manhattan. Seems like old times
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Think you are helping local restaurants by using Grubhub or similar app to have your food delivered during Covid19. Well think again
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Django unfined
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mural
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
♫♫ Five. Five million. Five million 'fections. ♫♫ It is the way
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Sweden braces for deep economic crisis as it turns out viruses don't give a damn about right-wing libertarian masturbatory fantasies
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Even something as simple as paint can coax middle-aged white men to fight like toddlers
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Daily Tribune)
 
 
 
'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with C-O-V-I-D-19
source: columbiatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Northern NY man keeps police busy with his four day work week as a career criminal
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
'The South is gonna rise again.' Fark: In COVID-19 cases
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Montana)
 
 
 
Three days into the virus-shortened Yellowstone Dumbass League 2020 season, and it's already Bison 1 - Idiot Tourists 0
source: nbcmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
"In lieu of flowers, please pay someone's open bar tab"
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
I'm working from home right now so please leave your message at the sound of the JEEP
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 785: "And the Band Played On". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Arizona has officially reopened: multiple people shot, suspect in custody
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I was promised a ticket. Don't just sit there, Kojak. Start writing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Like how Wile E. Coyote doesn't actually drop until he looks down?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Why yes, I do machine wash and dry my cash and then spray with disinfectant spray. Doesn't everyone?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After their senior concert was canceled, the band directors went to all 85 seniors' houses to play each and every one of them the school fight song
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Man arrested for setting grandma's home afire did not think his escape, cunning disguise through
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Do you know the difference between a ballpoint pen and tattoo? This man apparently doesn't. Oh yeah, he's also wanted for murder. (w/pic)
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYT Santa Barbara)
 
 
 
Owner of 'Mirror Bus' arrested for stalking, harassment, suspicion of being a member of the notorious Champion City gang, the Red Eyes
source: keyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Squish Days bring hippo, shark, and unicorn hugs to nursing home during coronavirus pandemic, because what better way is there to make someone think they're hallucinating from a high fever than to be attacked by an inflatable shark
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Nurse, son develop unique, Florida-themed protective mask that's a hit with medical staff
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Two Washington State gyms temporarily "halting protest" until they can find some way to infect people with Covid-19 without being sued into smoking holes in the ground
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The story behind Drew's time travel
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this "thermal corona combat headgear"
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In some good news, the F-35 fighter has at least one thing that works: the ejection seat
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
7pm Eastern Drew and Dallan are back with this week's first Fark News Summary Livestream - all the pandemic news you need, some you don't, Skunk Ape, parallel universes, penguins and cats playing soccer
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember those Italian towns that started offering $1 homes to try to lure people into moving to the country and reverse declining population trends? Well, these people who bought in are happy there, even in coronavirus lockdown
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Enforcement of pooping speed limits is obviously and directly related to safety and not revenue generation
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
California's EDD phone system is hanging up on unemployment seekers. Subby (an IT guy) dealt with them back in 2018 and their system was complete shiat then as well
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Answer: "Gov. DeSantis. Open our bars. We need our life back." Question: When do protest signs send wrong messages about protesters?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
Not even a Nigerian prince would fall for these coronavirus check scams, right? Right?
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
♩ "My bologna has a first name. ♩ It's T-E-X-A-S. ♩ My bologna has a second name. ♩ It's S-M-U-G-G-L-E-R-S" ♩
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Feel free to touch things now
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Coronavirus could soon be detected by sneezing or coughing onto a phone. As a bonus, coronavirus can also be spread that way
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
Wisconsin woman who's been taking hydroxychloroquine for 19 years to treat disease that it never is contracts Their New Hoax anyway
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"If you mow a penis, they will come"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Most people put on life jackets when their boat is sinking 12 miles offshore. Then there are these two guys
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
One good thing about being stuck at home during a pandemic: You can blame the days-old heap of dirty dishes in your sink on the existential angst and feelings of disconnectedness that you're feeling, not on the fact that you're a lazy slob
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Subby is about to go to the Huron River and get historically high
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
If you experience one or more of these 22 symptoms and were not born a redhead you may be transginger
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Help make the world a safer place by designing a cool/scary/awesome face mask you'd love to see and wear (LGTI)
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man who dove into Bass Pro fish tank posts "profanity-laced confession to Facebook"
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Road fatalities were down 8% in March vs the year prior, but the rate per driven miles went up 14% due to racers treating the Beltways as NASCAR ovals
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New Zealand is looking better and better all the time
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What's his Fark handle?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Quest for 'super duper' missiles pits US against key rivals, as the race for the Wowee Bomb or Really Kickass Torpedo heats up bigly
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hello. Uhh, can we have your liver?
source: organdonation.nhs.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Worker tests positive on first day after Ford plant reopens, lets see what happens next
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
WHO reports most coronavirus cases in a day, "We still have a long way to go in this pandemic." Hey man, cool shirt,... um, you were saying?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Signs that people aren't handing the reopening too well in Wisconsin: Police say they're looking for a man who was caught on video doing push-ups on a moving vehicle
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBT Jackson)
 
 
 
The "quarantine 15" is very real. Now shut up and pass the bon-bons and wine
source: wlbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
The containment ponds at Dow Chemical in Midland have flooded. We should send the Lansing protesters there to clean up the toxins. They will get to be outside all day and can work without masks. But, no shooting at the flood waters, please
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover sealed 2000-year-old unique complex by the Western Wall complete with graffiti... Jesus .... was ... here
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
File your taxes, then get free beer
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dealership: Let's abandon Hyundai and our customers. Call the tow company and get these customers' cars out of here
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
VW pulls ad after it's called racist, although others might see a video where a white woman puts a black man into her petit colon as something else
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
How do you say "Knuckle Sandwich" in Mandarin
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Retirement hobbies expand from golf and fishing to sadomasochism and murder
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Iran: Fark it. Let's just go full Nazi
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man winds up getting delivery instructions etched on gin glass he got for his girlfriend's birthday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
3,000 partygoers at Florida block party claim it was racially targeted by authorities, not just full of stupid partygoers
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
7-11 employee helps customer discern the difference between a thermometer and hand sanitizer in the most 7-11 way possible
source: sea.mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Police would like to remind you that the sex offender registry is not for vigilante justice
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Following the UK government's advice not to visit beauty spots as the lockdown eases, let's see how that British common sense is holding up
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1956, the United States made the hottest Bikini ever
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Botched Brazilian butt lift left model unable to sit for 6 months (NSFW)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Semi hauling 40k pounds of noodles overturns in Nashville. No word if it was a Mac truck
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
"They came back to Caroline, and found out they'd been riding around with almost a million dollars in the truck"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"It's not clear if sentencing someone to death is against Zoom's terms of service"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Hot" Russian nurse in male-only ward now faces a sacking for wearing just "lingerie" beneath her highly transparent PPE gear
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman teaches her dog to do CPR. Your dog ate the sofa and then vomited all over the living room
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
God sends a message to two churches in the south that reopened and defied common sense
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
733 square foot house and a $500 electric bill - sounds reasonable - for balls to the walls halides and sodiums
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy skiing uphill
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, Dog-tor Moose the therapy dog receives an honorary degree from Virginia Tech after years of helping students
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Someone earned themselves a special hell by destroying a special needs playground. A special hell
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
Santa Cruz sees Pennsylvania's nerdy house listing, raises with some rather crisp cryptozoological photos
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Don't be playing with anyone's cornhole during the pandemic
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Screw Twitter, let's go to the source...Researchers are finding evidence that patients who test positive for the coronavirus after recovering aren't capable of transmitting the infection
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Texas experiencing a sharp spike right in the panhandle. That's gotta smart
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Prince Charles wishes his furloughed subjects to take to the fields, picking fruits and vegetables at His Majesty's pleasure. Workers to form anarcho-syndicalist commune where they take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
That's SIR Tom Moore to you, whippersnapper (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEM Saginaw)
 
 
 
Happy 2020, Michigan. Dam
source: wnem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Doesn't the rest of the world remember WW2? They should be thanking us instead of looking down on us. America #1
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Pilot lands airplane in middle of traffic on suburban interstate after the aircraft became overloaded with the weight of his massive steel balls
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Very)
 
 
 
Collection of all the graphic gifs that helped convince New Zealanders to co-operate with lockdown
source: thespinoff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Also graduating today: Gene Masseth
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
2-year-old boy that was abducted is found safe and unharmed. Fark:: 32-years later
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Officials find lots of drugs/ Meth, heroin and fentanyl/ They made a rate/ It's the largest bust to date/ On this... Burma Raid
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Next up in stupid social distancing experiments - the Road Rave
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rescue a whale stuck in shark nets? That's a fine for net tampering and whale-touching
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Newsweek recognizes Fark founder Drew Curtis as the new, more accurate Sylvia Browne
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Epstein's estate has failed to turn over any documents for their lawsuit. Signed, His victims' attorneys' mothers
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Welcome to Costco, I love you unless you're not wearing a mask, then you're outta here
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Pro-tip. When transferring residents from a retirement home due to a COVID-19 outbreak, make sure you do a head count
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this burger...this amazing, heart-stopping burger
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
'Hamden farm known for goat yoga transitioning to egg delivery amid pandemic shutdowns'
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
John Glenn's wife: Killed by Covid-19 at 100 years old
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Re Mi Do Do So
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Chincoteague's famous pony swim canceled for first time since World War II; pony auction to be conducted online
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Tittabawassee River is flooding or, as the locals say, it's all gone titts-up
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Texas being Texas, starts restarting evictions in these reopening coronavirus times
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Who the hell drives 600 miles for a haircut? In these coronavirus times... maybe
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Could one of the greatest rock power ballads of all time have actually been written by the CIA as part of their clandestine efforts to bring down the Soviet Union? Stupid, if true
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Don't drag a chain behind your vehicle during wildfire season
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Why don't they just eat more skin?
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Wish this were The Onion: Kentucky convenience store posts 'No face masks allowed' sign
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this close-up
source: reformedperspective.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
In what is quickly becoming a cliche, pastor who held in-person services tests positive for the coronavirus
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Is what they're now calling the mystery coronavirus-related illness showing up in kids
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Unsure of how to practice social distancing? Here's the Social Distancing Skunk Ape to the rescue
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Wisconsin nurse who left her toddler and her mask at home to drink in a bar is now "Oh, my bad, was I not supposed to do that?" because she got called out on the internets
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What's an "Amphan"? Asking for 14 million friends
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
$5 says he also has a mullet
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The "NoFap," aka "stop masturbating" movement is just another way for Christians to try to control your sexuality? This is my shocked face (not to be confused with my O face)
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jane Roe, of Roe v. Wade, who was the poster child for abortion rights, then the poster child against it, is now the poster child for dead grifters
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Realizing that there is nothing they can release that will shock Trump supporters, law firm hackers turn their ransom attention towards Madonna. Oh those sweet innocent children of summer
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
The French find out the hard way that kids are not the best at keeping themselves clean
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Georgia church abandons in person services after proof science is more powerful than religion
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquirer Philippines)
 
 
 
Study finds "Dr. Google" rarely provides the correct diagnosis on the first try. We needed a study for that?
source: technology.inquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Well, the internet, electricity, farming, and coming down from the trees was all a mistake. Time to start rooting for COVID-19
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man said he was an Army hero, MIT professor and bitcoin millionaire with top secret clearance. Florida company hired him without checking
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
London school of Economics: the general public doesn't understand COVID data when displayed on logarithmic graphs. General public: what's a graph? Can you hold my hydroxychloroquine for a moment? I'm having trouble opening this bleach
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Salvage firm can recover Titanic telegraph machine stop strong salvage to follow stop
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The latest Covid-19 symptom? Tingling
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sorry, eh
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Fark and Schnitt podcast drop day is moving to Wednesday folks, new one coming tomorrow. Last episode we interviewed Brooke Binkowski from Truth or Fiction about Plandemic and Jacob Wohl
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hudson Valley Post)
 
 
 
Drunk man claims to be shot in buttocks, but crack detectives find otherwise
source: hudsonvalleypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
No sir, giving your toddler marijuana will not help the child's autism
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nanny-state to make alcohol-fueled crime offenders wear 'sobriety tags'; adulterers wear a red alphanumeric symbol
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Morganton News Herald)
 
 
 
Non-violin offender charged for running naked in Fiddler's Run
source: morganton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Another consequence of the pandemic: The number of sexually transmitted diseases is skyrocketing; in part because health care workers normally assigned to STD cases have been redeployed to the coronavirus
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the next module of your home-schooling work book, in your own words, define these five categories of pornography
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
People are having 'COVID-19 parties' to build up immunity. Stupid, Asinine and Facepalm tags all on ventilators, Dumbass tag in ICU
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
This story is Peak Missouri :"4 white Missouri cops sued for alleged brutality on 68-year-old black woman and son in a Sam's Club." The woman and her son were arrested for stealing a TV the store employees TOLD the cops was paid for
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman's desire to go topless outside her home has unintended consequence of raising neighborhood property values
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Well, would you look at that. Traffic is way, way down because Americans just aren't driving anymore, but air pollution has been basically unaffected. So I guess they were lying to us about not buying gas guzzlers, huh? Cool, I'm getting a Hellcat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sixty-three arrests at Go Topless weekend on Texas beach
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Brazil is now number three
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania school director believes we should stand our ground against those who refuse to wear a mask
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hobby Lobby's Hammurabi robbing hobby doesn't pay off, as they're forced to give back more illicit Mesopotamian artifacts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Fark coloring contest: A bunny bistro
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Finally some good news: A large group of Americans is already immune to coronavirus. Hooray. We have done it, now we can safely re-ope...excuse me, I skipped a word there: they are immune to EVIDENCE on coronavirus. Sorry, my bad
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump administration likely to extend border closures and travel restrictions put in place because of COVID-19, which at this point is akin to a leper colony trying to stop people from entering
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Old news: Outside prosecutor brought in to consider charges against the men who killed Ahmaud Arbery . New News: and also, an outside JUDGE to hear the case
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Hong Kong used masks to stop coronavirus, and yet Americans are upset at the inconvenience
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
96-year-old woman speaks Welsh for the first time in forty years, in a victory either for preserving knowledge of older times or for knocking back eight martinis in a single sitting
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Martha's Vineyard Times)
 
 
 
Passed out drunk and run aground for the third time in a year is no way to go into the harbor, son
source: mvtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Plastic face shields only protect the wearer and no one else
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Miami-area Indian casino reopens figuring Floridians will be willing to gamble with their money and their health
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
After 39 years, Missouri GOP finally succeeds in repealing the state's motorcycle helmet law. State-level stupidity trifecta now in play
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania opens up and goes code yellow. Let's see how tha.... Ow. That's not good
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
John Wick was apparently arrested in Denver over the weekend
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PureWow)
 
 
 
Hmm 30 minutes before the next online meeting. I guess I could get prepared .... or I could have some fun and pull off a virtual bank robbery in this escape room. 20 minutes huh, gotta go
source: purewow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
You didn't really think NJ would let drivers to keep using their toll roads without paying cash tolls forever, did you? Oh you sweet innocent child of spring
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Coronavirus decreased traffic is encouraging migrating families to cross potentially deadly freeways while making their way North to the land of plenty across the US border
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
In this time of pandemic, it's important to stay away from large groups. Or you can just, you know, have a block party so big the police are called out
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Every car tire is equipped with a miniature 5G transmitter that sends all your travel info, bank statements, family tree, food purchases, laundry detergent preference, and countless other personal data to Big Brother. REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY (PIC)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ric Romero Labs has discovered that the longer you frolic among the coronavirus, the more likely you are to contract the coronavirus
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, but the planes at Paine to remain, officials explain
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Thousands re-enlist rather than leave the military, possibly after taking a look and seeing how unsafe it is out there now
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Photoshop these affectionate deer
source: media.timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Zumba leads to corona, study finds
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter