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Sun May 10, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Brazil could be the next epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic. Brazilians could die from the virus
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Good news: Trump's 100,000 ventilators are coming in only a week behind schedule. Better news: We don't need them
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What better gift on Mother's Day than the gift of the warm embrace of Jesus Christ in the afterlife?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Sheriff believes deputies who took pictures of dead bodies at Kobe Bryant crash site deleted the pics, because they said they did. Also it appears that sharing pics of dead bodies at bars isn't as good at getting you laid as cops thought it would be
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Photoshop this black-throated bushtit
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Drag queen stuns with math lesson on exponential growth by folding paper. To be fair, drag queens are experts at folding and tucking things
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
(Florida Man): Oh, you think you're next for potato salad? The Second Amendment says I'M next for potato salad. (Man at the opposite end of Publix draws his gun): Someone's Second Amendment potato salad rights may be at risk
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Relax, Farkers, it was just a scam
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this easy rider
source: scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Germany has eased its Coronavirus restrictions. Let's see how that's working... oh scheisse
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Man kicked out of McDonald's for not wearing a mask arrested after stealing panties. Man, the Hamburglar is taking the lockdown hard
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
White woman goes nuts in Hawaii when told to move her car. NSFW unless you're a longshoreman or construction worker - and it might even make them blush. Happy Mother's Day, Karen
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"We're open to the truth. NO MASKS ALLOWED"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
How bored are we now? "Men take Guinness record for ping pong ball catches in shaving cream" is how bored we are right now
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
ProTip: Police hot on your tail? Remember when you duck into that bush .... do not cut wind
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Four reasons state plans to open up may backfire - and soon. Here comes the actual science
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to your Fartist Friday Contest. Our theme this week: Let your creativity fly - create a Blanket Fort Extraordinaire
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Health officials say if you really want to show love to your mom on Mother's Day, just stay the fark home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Mail Media)
 
 
 
In news that will shock absolutely no one, Floridians are going full Florida. You should never go full Florida
source: heraldmailmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Not OK, boomer (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 1960 therapy
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
Who was that masked nazi?
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Florida's reopening resulted in 13,000 pounds of trash left on Cocoa Beach. Jeannie and Major Nelson are outraged
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
The Mayor from Jaws wants you to know that despite what you've heard, it's perfectly safe to return to California beaches
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Need some cash? Falling behind on the bills? Tired of all those phone calls from people asking you to pay them? Just pull off a special-ops mission in the heart of South America and enjoy that sweet, sweet bounty money
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Bull's bid to scratch 'itchy bum' cuts off power to 800 homes". Managed to steer clear of udder disaster though likely to remain the butt of some jokes as people milk it for what it's worth
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
George Takei says it all
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
I have never heard a bad word spoken about the Sikhs. That continues to this day. Sikh Doctors Shave Beards to Fight COVID: "This Was an Exception to the Rule"
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker's Apocalypse Prepper Village is having a terrible time of it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 09, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
American company wanted to fill the bare cupboards with millions of N95 masks in January. Trump Admin: HARD PASS
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Colombia has started using cardboard hospital beds that conveniently convert into coffins when you die from the virus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
71% of Americans afraid of restrictions being lifted too quickly, the other 29% welcome the pale horse
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
GIF thread? GIF thread!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cars
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
No Mow May - leave your yard alone until June to help out the bees please 🐝🐝🐝
source: returntonow.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You know who has the skills required to help us open up again? The porn industry
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Talk about a Fark-ready headline
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLY Spokane)
 
 
 
Police seize thousands of plants in a series of operations that will undoubtedly end the scourge of illegal marijuana in Washington state
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Warning: You may want to back away slowly from this article about a man who's been 'dating a ghost' for two years and now all of a sudden fears she's cheating on him by bonking other men during the coronavirus lockdown (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this closed playground
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carscoops)
 
 
 
Lose job, drive truck over the boss's Ferrari, go to jail. Game over
source: carscoops.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker suffers a stroke. Must not have had enough silver solution in his "Oh My God It's GOOD" soup
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Lawyer who leaked video of killing of Ahmaud Arbery did so to dispel rumors it was "two men with a Confederate flag in the back of a truck going down the road and shooting a jogger in the back." Umm...WTF?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Port City Daily)
 
 
 
Vigilante mob thinks it's the 1920s again
source: portcitydaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYPD reveals 81% of social distancing arrests have been minorities because NYPD, duh
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
So 2020 can't get any worse, right? Right?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
South Korea: Let's close it up again
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Welcome to your future in these coronavirus times: One-way sidewalks and parking-lot dining rooms. Survival is yours if you choose correctly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The robot dogs are here and they want you to socially distance. You choose your fate if you don't comply within 20 seconds
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this jumper
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Seventeen heroic cat stories that'll make you want to hug your feline, even though they don't want you to do that on Caturday
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you really want to be ready for a recession you better make sure your car is paid off, you pack a lunch every day for work, and you cook more meatless meals
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hope that London vacation you'd booked is more than 15 days long. Bonus: free lodging for the first two weeks
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
"They got 5 pounds of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a pound of M&M's and two pounds of Sour Patch Kids and two bags of potato chips... two beers and two Diet Cokes and about 20 Zyrtecs." Sounds like quite the bear party
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Who steals a tree? Honestly
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Tell me how to grieve when we're not permitted to have a funeral"
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Baja California governor warns people to avoid Mom on Mother's Day. Now has a chancla with his name on it
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Plastered in Plaistow, hammered in the Hamptons, exiting Exeter. Anyway you slice it, when the trooper pulls you over and approaches your car, that doesn't mean they want to race you
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Hospital executives: "Hey front line caregivers, thanks for risking your lives by working during a pandemic but profits are down so we're going to be laying people off. Happy nurses week"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(World Health Organization)
 
 
 
Sweden has 24,623 confirmed COVID-19 cases and 3,040 deaths, a 12.3% fatality rate. Chile has 24,581 COVID-19 cases, with only 285 deaths. That is a 1.2% rate. Can anybody explain why there is such a difference? (PDF)
source: who.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Suddenly, cows
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Newest quarantine entertainment is Madea's Royal Freeloaders
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Church files lawsuit to end social gathering limit, fails to appreciate irony of its name
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUSI San Diego)
 
 
 
Is it me or do all the racist assholes go grocery shopping in the same California town?
source: kusi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Siegfried & RIP
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China clamps down on copycat imitations of foreign buildings. Stealing trade secrets, technology and intellectual property still encouraged
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
California sheriff decides to go rogue in support of the virus
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Nice work Chicago, even France has noticed
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Daily Herald)
 
 
 
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity. And then the murder hornets began
source: columbiadailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
7pm Eastern tonight it's a Fark Watch Party. Drew and Dallan will be screening Gargoyles (1972) and talking over the dialogue, as one does. Neither of us has seen this one before, come join us
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida decided to reopen parts of the state and you'll never guess what happened next
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the eyes of a hero
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Teen makes the right move in Albuquerque
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
VP B'Lyin
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
You kids stay off my orchard
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Will I ever heal?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania Health Secretary tells local residents to not go to the Jersey Shore. In a strange coincidence, Jersey Shore residents don't want Pennsylvanians to go either
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
One more time: The stock market is not the economy
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
On the one hand, credit to the ad agency's creative types for this. On the other hand, WTAF. Bara is right - you will never guess the product
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
FDA bans Chinese made N95 masks because they didn't meet the high quality standards typical of Chinese made goods
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
U.S. to remove Patriots from Saudi Arabia, dealing yet another blow to Bill Belichick
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
What's the coronavirus pandemic coming to if an ambulance service staff can't have a little TikTok 'coffin dance' with a CPR dummy while dealing with all the death around them? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this withered flower
source: ybonesteele.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHQA Quincy)
 
 
 
When life gives you melons, donate to families in need of food. Also, you may have dyslexia
source: khqa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decider)
 
 
 
While he appreciates the gesture, and would like to remind the NYPD he is sober now and has not taken possession, Pete Davidson begs fans to stop leaving drugs on his mother's doorstep
source: decider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Frontier Airlines to take temperature of passengers before boarding because if you choose to fly Frontier, there must be something wrong with you
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
Make America Sick Again cultist who blew his nose on a Dollar Tree employee's shirt is arrested
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
They say the best days in a boat owner's life are the day he buys the boat, and the day he ends up in jail after crashing it while attempting to flee from police with it on a trailer
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man wins $2M lotto jackpot after hint from fortune cookie, although how he managed to play "that wasn't chicken" isn't clear
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
California tells residents they should expect to be on fire pretty much year-round
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Costco: We won't allow you in our stores without a mask. Protesters: Fine, then we'll boycott your stores. Costco: OK?
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC subway conductor says the quiet part out loud about essential workers really being sacrificial workers
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
You had me at 'Toilet Frog Invasion'
source: derbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Smoked fish cheap
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Pence's staff coughs up a viral infection. This is not a euphemism
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VinePair)
 
 
 
Temperance pastor inadvertently creates coupons for discount beer
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"I could wind up with nothing," says soon-to-be divorced woman who discovered that obscure South Dakota trusts can be used to lock up marital assets out of reach of courts and tax authorities
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WEAR Pensacola)
 
 
 
In other news, Northwest Florida is burning down
source: weartv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Somebody is giving away a haunted house because people are too afraid to live in it. Second prize is a plastic baggie full of goldfish
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Indiana churches to hold in-person services this Sunday in spite of pandemic, allowing worshippers to feel the presence of something in them other than the Holy Spirit
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Remember that weird name Elon Musk and Grimes gave their child? Surprise, the state of California won't allow it
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman steals safe from discount store, when store detective stops her she tries to mace him with deodorant before showing him her butt. Then things start getting a little crazy (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Relaxing at home while cooking meth with the kids? It's not Florida Man, its Breaking Bad Monopoly
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Olive Press (Spain))
 
 
 
Subby's in-law's cat is famous - In Spain, first cat found with Covid19 after dying of unrelated causes
source: theolivepress.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this necklace
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Satellite mages show armadas of vacant cruise ships that have been turned into prisons for their infected crews huddling together at sea ...waiting to turn into zombie sailor ghost ships
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Man killed by a plane landing at ABIA. Airport spokesman Bryce Obvious said "officials do not believe the unidentified man was supposed to be on the runway at the time of the incident"
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Truncated headline creates the too much information - not enough information paradox
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"We can't control the virus, but we can control all information about the virus"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
If you plagiarize Masterclass and Tony Robins and try to invade Venezuela a farker will find your plagiarism and laugh at you
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Drug dealers in the UK are suffering during the lockdown, so they've taken to posing as joggers and NHS workers to peddle their wares
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Do not despair, do not yield." Victory in Europe, 75 years ago today
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Honeyunwell
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including the number of times you can test positive for Coronavirus
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
How the hell have they been groping your balls this entire time *without* wearing a mask
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Woman goes $600K in debt to buy wholesale masks, gloves, hand sanitizer and face shields to give out for free to hospital workers. Probably not the smartest thing to do but it's the thought that counts
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Interactive US map of state COVID-19 testing and reopening. Basically, it's the Cursed Earth from Judge Dredd, minus Texas City
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
OK, 2020 just got *REAL*
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Need targets to simulate enemy missiles for your interceptor test? Just wait for your enemy to go broke, and buy the actual missiles
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
COVID-19? Madge says you're soaking in it
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bear spray can't help you in an attack if it's still holstered on your hip--unless the bear obligingly bites into it and flees
source: buckrail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Why does Jesus need a PPP loan?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"There was no way I was going to stand by and let it eat the kitten"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Observer & Eccentric)
 
 
 
If you're going fishing, you should take along a fishing pole. Not four handguns, ammunition, and a suppressor
source: hometownlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Another farker shares their personal experience with COVID-19. TL;DR? Please remember you can have it and not feel very sick
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
COVID-19 is disproportionately impacting research by women faculty
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maryland fines deadly nursing home $10,000/day, says next step is changing their name to Deathpoint
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
COVID-19 claims its latest victim: The last video rental store in Schenectady, NY
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
GBI announces the arrest of the two men involved in killing of Ahmaud Arbery
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Nurses are underpaid and it wasn't like her 70 year old dying coronavirus patient needed his credit card anymore anyway
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Your mom probably has coronavirus
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"I guess I won't do this again." As last words go, that's not bad. Tag for the deceased
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are livestreaming the Fark Daily News Summary at 7pm tonight. Come for the news you need, stay for the monkey videos
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Dragon Breath treats
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Spotters along the Gulf of Mexico report seeing rare, endangered whale shark doo doo doo doo doo doo
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart security guard takes down and handcuffs woman who wasn't wearing a mask, as is now required. Ironic since Wal-Mart can't get half their customers to wear pants
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
A Trump bump -- or shove? Number of Americans renouncing their U.S. citizenship hits all-time high
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate would like to Slatesplain how mainstream media sites, like Slate, are often responsible for misleading the public about scientific articles by replacing "real facts" with "clickbait headlines." You know, like Slate headlines
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit's 1000-bed field hospital, which never had more than 20 patients at a time, closing
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
These California wine tours are really getting out of hand
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Monkey breaks into ATM in Delhi and trashes it. Probably because they refused to serve him pastrami on rye
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Michigan official who attended anti-lockdown rally gets busted for shoplifting and blames the lockdown
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Twin nurses work side-by-side battling the coronavirus, although it's hard to tell with their masks on
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Seven Magic Mountains
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
We may be in a global pandemic and about to be overrun by murder hornets, but at least we're not going to war with China. Oh crap
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Man enters Dunkin' sans pants. No word on if he was wearing, shoes, shirt, mask
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Before he tried to invade Venezuela, Jordan Goudreau wanted to embed special forces in schools disguised as "cool shop" teachers to say "'Hey, what's up, fellas" to kids playing Dungeons and Dragons alone
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Things are back to normal in Georgia, if this video is any indication
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
U.S. pushing forward with building a live-action Fallout theme park
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The live fast and die young generation changed their mind
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School predicts 350,000 coronavirus deaths by end of June if we re-open everything. Fortunately our president attended that school and will no doubt heed its warning
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
America once again needs to be labeled a third world country, it's coronavirus recovery is way behind Europe's because of its lame lockdown policies
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
If you got a stimulus payment while dead, IRS wants you to return it
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Philadelphia Inquirer)
 
 
 
Does a pandemic cause PTSD in frontline health care workers? Inquiring minds want to know
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Court rules that blowing your fingers off with fireworks is not a job-related injury for a truck driver
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes Suicide, The Au Pairs, Propaganda, and a Robin Guthrie remix. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #132. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
'You got cocaine in my peanut butter' 'You got peanut butter in my cocaine'
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yeah, it was a GREAT idea to reopen those states
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
All websites except Fark do look the same these days
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A Fark status update, plus - is Drew a time traveler?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Mermaids are back at this tiki bar in Montana. Thank God the tiki bar is open
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In addition to risking their lives, stress, exhaustion, depression and PTSD, doctors and hospital workers are really not enjoying seeing the Covid Truthers and the derp of social media's infromed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Frontier airlines decides to abandon its "$39 To Not Be Directly Exposed to COVID-19" surcharge
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Trump's valet has tested positive for coronavirus. If Trump gets sick and dies - the butler did it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Wacky Japanese food, video games, and an excessive amount of pop culture are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 19-25: Martha Stewart Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alaskan school board votes to ban certain classic books. Help comes from an unlikely source: "Any student or parent that wants a copy of the recently removed books can email the band, and they'll send them the books for free"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Two Utah businesses that refused to follow COVID-19 protocols have 68 employees test positive. Asinine tag borrows mask from Obvious tag
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Some anti-vaxers realize they don't want the dumbass tag anymore
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
WHO warns of Coronavirus Boomerang, which doesn't have the same ring to the rest of their albums
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Researchers now think that "social bubbles" could be the key to defeating the coronavirus. Google Plus seen dusting itself off in the corner
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Everyone "Murder Hornets!" Praying Mantis "I got this"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The nation's lone COVID-19 bright spot is in... wait, seriously?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Remember climate change? We're rapidly running out of time
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gas leak at an Indian chemical plant kills at least 14 , sickens thousands. No this is not a repeat from December 2, 1984, though it certainly feels like it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Just in case murder hornets and a pandemic weren't enough to keep you inside your house, the polar vortex is back this weekend
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sailboat
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The White House just killed the CDC's unreleased playbook on safely reopening the US because, you know, facts. "Agency scientists were told the guidance 'would never see the light of day.'"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reddit)
 
 
 
You know that insane Plandemic "documentary" that your covidiot relatives have been trying to spread everywhere? Someone took the time to rip it apart lie by lie
source: reddit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A diagnosis of COVID-19 is a permanent disqualification to military service. What do they know that we don't?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Congolese soccer player Hiannick Kemba ready to return to the pitch after 48 months out due to his death in a car crash
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
OK Farkers, time to show off
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
77 percent of laid-off workers enjoy a rich fantasy life
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Acolytes of FREEDUMB, Trump, and Nurgle ask you to boycott Costco for forcing shoppers to wear masks while picking up a month's supply of toilet paper and $5 chicken. Those masks will prevent you from getting enough oxygen, claimed one
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
The darkest timeline is relentless: "We estimate there are over a million kegs (in the U.S.) right now that are sitting and going bad"
source: theknow.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
McDonald's employees ask customers to leave due to coronavirus restrictions. Guess what happens next. Hint: See tag
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man wins guns vs knifes debate
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Covid second wave could be gnarly, and a third may be hella bad
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
20,000 teens just received driver licenses without a road test. Good thing there's no one on the roa... oh hi Georgia
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 783: "Fresh Photos". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Quack. Splat
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Y'all Queda determined to strike in US
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Criminal mastermind escapes from Cook County Jail by means of a cunning ruse whereby he pretended to be another inmate who was set to be released and donned an elaborate disguise...well, okay, a hoodie and a facemask
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
You citizens of America need to face the brutal truth in these coronavirus times: America isn't as exceptional as it thinks it is
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WITF.org)
 
 
 
Philadelphia's transit system is going broke because it depends on the Pennsylvania Turnpike for funding and the Turnpike was already broke before people stopped paying tolls
source: witf.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Spuoɔǝs 09 uᴉ ǝuoפ
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
"Come put my pussy out because it's on fire"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Here's that Bug's Life / Book of Revelation crossover you ordered (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guelph Mercury)
 
 
 
Police impersonator arrested in Puslinch, Wellington County says OPP ♩ (Yeah you know me) ♩
source: guelphmercury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Space Force recruitment video promises to send you to space, glosses over their inability to send you to space
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby brown pelicans return to island devastated by Deepwater Horizons oil spill
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop Harry reading us a bedtime story
source: img.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
While hearing arguments during a robocalls case Justice Breyer gets cut off by an incoming phone call
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For the first time in history, no one will be peeing or crapping on the floor or seats of the New York subway system
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg Law)
 
 
 
One of the sentences a judge does not imagine-much less welcome-writing includes the words 'butt shaking' in describing a lawyer's alleged actions at a mediation. Sadly, those words fit here
source: news.bloomberglaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
What do gorillas do when they think no one is watching ? They fart and sing, mostly they fart
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Follow along on the wild ride as a middleman trying to score a last-minute shipment of N95 masks to meet a VA purchase order gets screwed over by other middlemen and brokers
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are bringing the Fark Daily Livestream news update at 5pm eastern today. What's important, not important, overlooked, and video of farting Gorillas. There's no better use of your time than this
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Some childish farker is apparently in charge of the official New Jersey twitter account
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
When your oral argument with Supreme Court gets literally flushed down the toilet
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Minor league pitcher finds out his family was killed over Facebook. Wow people take that site too seriously
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
We're losing our local colorful characters, village idiots, and resident weirdos to coronavirus
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Man who threatened Kentucky Governor Beshear and KSP to face charges. Now I can understand threatening a governor, but what have those Kerbals and their space program done to deserve this?
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Half of fathers think they're doing most of the homeschooling. 3% of mothers agree
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Only in rural Saskatchewan do you get a news story about 68k worth of stolen wheat, which happened sometime between January 1st and February 23rd
source: regina.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this coastline
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prince Harry to give up bloodsports. Chong Li outraged, demands one last match
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bret Favre was just the tip of the Mississippi cash grab iceberg
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
It's acceptable to shotgun your drink on Cinco de Mayo, but remember than actual shotguns should be left at home
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Economic Forum)
 
 
 
Too many teleconferences might be burning you out. Why? Because each one is the "You Show" staring You. If these tips don't help try picturing your audience naked
source: weforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Not content with cupping your balls and stealing your luggage, TSA withheld unneeded stockpile of 1.3 million N95 masks from hospitals and first responders. Fark needs a Pure Evil tag
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Fark and Schnitt podcast: Peter Sagal tells us about surviving both the Boston Marathon Bombing and the LA Riots, as well his guess as to when things will return to normal. Plus, the secret strange connection between Fark and Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me is finally revealed
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
For those missing the Cold War, we've got some good news
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Rare WaPo Fark-ready headline: The urgent quest for a coronavirus treatment involves door-to-door blood collection and a llama
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Cadillac attaccackackack
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1937, the huge manatee arrived in New Jersey
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Your job may suck, but it's probably not "get stung by murder hornets on camera" bad
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Much like your waistline, the bus-eating sinkhole in Pittsburgh has gotten larger during the lockdown
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida braces for perfect storm of hurricanes combined with COVID
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
40 years after one of Florida's greatest disasters, two divers have a horrible story to tell
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"Covid-19 parties" reportedly held in Walla Walla, leaving officials horrified in nearby Ting Tang and Bing Bang
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Jacksonville gonna Jacksonville
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplaining: Animal Crossing
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Group called Hemp4Water proposes plan to use hydroponic Hemp in giant floating mats to clean Toxic Algae from Florida waterways. High time I say, Save the Hugh Manatees
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Starbucks will reopen 85 percent of its stores by the weekend, but with significant operational changes. Don't worry, burned coffee and your name misspelled by a barista with three advanced liberal arts degrees will still be part of the experience
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Wake up sheeple, fever-reading drones pointing you out for coronavirus is just the first wave of SkyNet
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
TV viewers outraged by advert showing squirrel "humping" can of deodorant. That's just nuts
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good news, Illinois: You may be able to get mixed drinks to go from your favorite bars soon
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Former head of the Department of HHS's Biomedical Advanced Research and unrepentant coronavirus whistleblower Dr. Rick Bright will testify in front of Congress next Thursday
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ What a drag it is getting mooned ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What if the country reopened and nobody came?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these poppies
source: scontent-bos3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Chris Evans on attempting to groom his dog, Dodger, at home, "It went so wrong, so fast. He hasn't seen a mirror yet. I told him it looks great". Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-Imposter?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tyson reopens largest pork plant in the US despite Coronavirus outbreaks, hopes this won't be their Waterloo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Bing was on the verge of making very significant findings" on COVID-19. Sweet. Wait, back up. Did you say "was?"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 26 Houston)
 
 
 
A Dallas salon owner will lose seven days of freedumbs after refusing to apologize for opening her business in defiance of countywide restrictions
source: fox26houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Firecrotch, booze, cops, stun gun. Degree of difficulty: no Lohan or Florida
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Rich people's private schools take bailout cash because otherwise their kids will have to mingle with the plebes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Dollar store employee: "Where's your mask?".. Grandpa ReOpen: "I'll use your shirt as a mask.".. *wipes nose on shirt*.. Michigan, of course
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The man in the photo seen screaming at state troopers during the protest at Michigan's Capitol building says "I didn't scream in anybody's face". And really looking at the photo, it turns out he may be right (Dumbass is still way too close to them)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Businesses touting Coronavirus conspiracy theories involving 5G are using Facebook to sell EMF products. It's so unbelievable
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
If you liked stupid Watergate, you're going to love stupid Bay of Pigs
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Booty call sinks sage scientist
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Big light in sky appears in east; sonic booms scare minority groups; and there's money all over the highway in Merced County. Back to you, Clem
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(Metro)
 
 
 
The earth may be healing during quarantine, but for nine months, this bear lived a life we all wish for
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas will have none of your Branch Dildonian behavior
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Woman unintentionally demonstrates her wine volcano
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
When Gallant gets upset with the media, he writes strong emails to news stations. When Goofus gets upset with with media, he takes the smart TV he paid good money for outside and smashes it with a hammer. That'll show 'em
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Ken Ham is trying to lure new visitors at The Ark Experience by offering a lifetime pass. For 2 to 3 thousand dollars
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
A physicist looks into the UFO video that's been circulating: his conclusion is there's no reason to get into flap, or to get gooseflesh
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Volusia County FL beaches opened last weekend. 100 water rescues by lifeguards ensue. So much for social distancing
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Notorious RBG back in hospital with infection
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Video showing the killing of Ahmaud Arbery in Brunswick, GA released. I am now seriously scared of what my son will face as he grows up
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mug-shot-glass)
 
 
 
Things you should try and negotiate: (a) your starting salary, (b) hotel comps, (c) a curve in the road
source: theunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dozens of sheep take over streets of town in northern Turkey, there were probably hundreds more but people kept falling asleep trying to count them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this careening couple
source: flashbak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man killed by water buffalo attack. Difficulty - Wales
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Florida so terrible that 72yo woman flees toward Coronavirus hot spot
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Army medic to COVID heroes: Post-traumatic stress is not something to ignore so take care of yourselves
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winona Daily News)
 
 
 
Teenagers defecate on a car in Plainview, which is probably why they got caught
source: winonadailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Those "giant asian murder hornets"? Yeah, about those
source: ucanr.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Farker Znuh (me) survived COVID-19, was hospitalized, and documented the whole thing. Full summary of what it was like, and tips that hopefully might help you get through it
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why is Canada doing so much better than the United States regarding the coronavirus? Hint: Leadership, nonpartisan politics and socialized health care
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In other news, the 'Beer Fairy' has horns and no pants
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Fish aggregating device or big alien hoobaoob from someone's butt?
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Just when you thought things couldn't get stranger, I bring you the #peeyourpantschallenge
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you thought Moon Unit, Dweezil, Zowie, and America are strange names for famous people's kids, you haven't seen Elon Musk's new kids name
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this field of gold
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are going early with the Fark News Update livestream. Got a boatload of stuff, some important, some not, what's under the radar, and a stray cat named Bunny who knows what he wants. 3:30pm eastern
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
We've moved on from distancing shaming to distancing shaming shaming
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fauci dumps bleach on right-wing conspiracy theory that SAR-CoV-2 was manufactured by China
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(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Large skyscraper in UAE on FIRE
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(Somerset Live)
 
 
 
Bath and North East Somerset Council aren't doing phrasing anymore
source: somersetlive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago family says they filmed a cougar in their backyard. Most people just take their wine bottle and point them back to their own home
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Good news: the number of new NY coronavirus cases are headed down. Bad news: the number of national coronavirus cases, excluding NY, are headed up. Farkward: if you put the two together, new coronavirus cases are looking...flat
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Colson Whitehead becomes fourth writer ever to win Pulitzer Prize for fiction twice
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan is 6 weeks into extreme social distancing, so why is it still seeing new CoVid-19 cases? Is it (a) nursing homes, (b) prisons, (c) healthcare workers, (d) all of the above?
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(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1961, Commander Shepard became the first American in space, before going on to command the SSV Normandy and get reconstructed by the Lazarus Project
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(NPR)
 
 
 
2020 Noble Prizes awarded
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Officer I have to have those pancakes,,,, and that one waitress, have you ever seen her? 192 mph Officer? What are you on about? Pancakes, remember
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you wondered why the number of resolved cases of COVID-19 are so low, it's because people aren't recovering
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart returns $12.6 million in federal health stimulus cash. In other news, WAL-MART got $12.6 million in federal health stimulus cash
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(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Relationship between pirates and climate change still holds
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If only Clara Peller were alive to ask this question
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Mississippi to hold Darwin Day on Thursday
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If the coronavirus and murder hornets don't kill us, at least we still have climate change killing off 'billions' in 50 years
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
A Covid-19 vaccine may not be ready any time soon, especially when the U.S. government refuses to put any money towards it
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pfizer has a vaccine that could be ready by years end, if proven safe
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(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Man uses laser light show to project messages of hope to town residents, promote 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy'. Bonus: Farker's friend
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Australian accent: "That's not a Wi-Fi. This is a Wi-Fi"
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Elon Musk has reproduced. I repeat, Elon Musk has reproduced
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Remember "desk-hoteling" and "open office" plans that many tech businesses and the federal government insisted were the wave of the future for workspace? In a post Covid-19 world those are clearly going to be a thing of the past
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(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Infectious PA woman goes out on the town after quarantine, gets a night in jail and a new ankle bracelet
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(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Hate crimes against Chinese soaring during COVID crisis
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
🐟👄x 20
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying squirrel
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Apparently the current dominant coronavirus strain is actually a mutated version that is much more contagious than the original. But go ahead and ease social restrictions now, red states, by all means
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(RD News Now)
 
 
 
Excessive fourth
source: rdnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Michigan small townsfolk, we've secretly replaced some of your healthy neighbors with Covidiots from the Lansing protests. Let's see if anyone notices
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(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for licking her way around the grocery store
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(Philadelphia Magazine)
 
 
 
Woman who spat on two people in food market gets opportunity to totally redeem herself in a magazine feature. Spoiler alert: She totally doesn't
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
They burned down the Circle K, it died with an awful sound
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
We tried to warn you that messing around with illegal drugs will get you sick but you didn't listen, Kidd
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
Louisiana cops looking for aggressive chicken accused of fowl play. Probably cooped up too long
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The Eagle has *bump* *screech* *bang* landed
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(American Consequences)
 
 
 
PJ O'Rourke is editing some weird magazine for Covid-19 truthers
source: americanconsequences.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It was just horseplay. He was coming right at him. He was cleaning it and it accidentally went off. I'll wait until I hear the other side
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(Patheos)
 
 
 
Judge (to idiot pastor): Since you know the Bible so well, show me where is says God commands a packed church in order to worship and pray
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
President Tanzania questions Covid-19 test kits, preferring to rely on herbal treatments promoted by President Madagascar who promises they're effective against all diseases. It's true, he says, they shut down everything
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(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake
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(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Remember when people said it would be impossible to distribute all the food being thrown out by America's farmers? Yeah, they were wrong
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(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
FDA rethinks 'meh, just let people make things up' regulatory stance
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(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mountain camper
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(TuneIn)
 
 
 
For the penultimate music show for Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT), 'The Name's The Same'. The songs could be covers, or totally different, but the name is the same
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(AP News)
 
 
 
What it might be like in America's public spaces once they re-open. Article leaves out the part where some idiot in a red hat runs up and coughs on you to stick it to Bill Gates
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(ITV)
 
 
 
Think childcare is difficult, even in better times? Imagine having 25% fewer daycare centers
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(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Man, I don't even know where to begin with this Fark-Ready headline: 5-year-old boy driving his parents' car on the freeway pulled over, tells troopers he was going to California to buy a Lamborghini
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Miami Beach re-closes park after too many knuckleheads do what Florida knuckleheads do best
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
For the first time in decades the US Navy sends a fleet into the Barents Sea. Unclear if they are counting on Sup-Ger-A St. Petersburg to complete the maneuver
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man stabs roommate in attempt to release Satan. Look, the Weekly World News taught me that Satan only escapes through oil wells that reach hell, so don't play those games with me
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(The Sun)
 
 
 
Masturbating ape ghost (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Everything you need to know about Phase 1 of reopening Florida. Well, it's the home state of Florida Man, so set Phases on stunning stupidity
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(NPR)
 
 
 
If you've been wondering whether the words "Tori Amos," "offers quarantine comfort," and "a recipe for vegan mushroom stew" could all work together in one headline, we now have an answer: They cannot
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In 1847 the Choctaw nation sent donations to help the Irish being decimated by the potato blight. 173 years later, as the Choctaw are devastated by coronavirus, Ireland is returning the favor
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Another thing black people can't do without getting shot: Jogging
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(Independent)
 
 
 
White-tailed eagles appear in skies over Britain for first time in 240 years. Where were they? Apparently not taking hobbits directly to Mt Doom
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old skillet
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(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Yakima County has highest rate of coronavirus infections on West Coast due to agricultural workers, prompting researchers to state "Yakima yaks, don't cough back"
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(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Large gatherings in Chicago draw outrage from subby, who wasn't invited
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Nate Silver's coven tries to explain why COVID-19 forecasts range all the way from "we're going to die" to "we're ALL going to die"
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(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Are you interested in taking a Ketamine and Naltrexone cocktail? You know for science and the good of mankind
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(CNN)
 
 
 
"Experts" warn that there may be academic consequences to having a generation of elementary-aged kids home schooled by day-drinkers
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(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Never a good way to start a sentence, Mr. State Representative: "Judging by the position of the female vagina..."
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Singapore is a great example of how to handle coronavirus. Was. I meant was
source: npr.org   |   share: