Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun April 19, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
News: "Pastor" of a "virtual church" in CA to plead guilty to scamming his flock out of $33 million over the last 5 years via a phony investment scheme. Fark: He started the church months after finishing a 4-year sentence for...yep, securities fraud
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Mark Subby's words, there will be pitchforks and torches coming out in Ireland if they try to keep pubs closed for 18 months until a coronavirus vaccine is found (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Coronavirus aside, where did all the sick people go?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Greatest play by play announcing EVAR
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Move over New York, you're not really the top coronavirus hotspot in the US
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these floating feet
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
I hope her husband wasn't watching the news today (likely NSFW)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Really old stuff, really expensive stuff, some geography, and Florida Woman are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 5-11: Wildlife Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
At least sixteen dead in Canadian shooting rampage
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
The make and model of the getaway vehicle is ...what?
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seattle reopens University Farmers Market under social distancing restrictions including no more than 60 people inside at a time. So of course patrons immediately crowd into closely packed lines outside to wait their turn
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old water tower
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
While we humans are anxious to get back to relative normal, sea turtles are happy with things right now
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Pig leads police on 45 minute chase. This is not a euphemism
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Welcome aboard, Bob" ... and no, not ordering the fish
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
This 96-year-old WWII veteran donned a mohawk to intimidate the Germans. He's doing it again to spread joy during the pandemic
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Aloha, bros - here is an article about the standard-issue uniform of Farkers, namely the Hawaiian shirt
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome Fark Artists to ye weekly Fartist Friday contest. This week's arts & crafts theme: "Make Your Own Wilson," inspired by "Castaway"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A 425-pound tiger living in an apartment? Just another day in New York City
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Well, that's a look at the weather. And now for this awesome drum solo"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Well, there's one other way to keep Southerners from flocking to the beaches during a pandemic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLX West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Little beach town coffee shop adds a bit of fun and joy with tropical mural during shutdowns. Suddenly, HOA
source: wflx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Pity the poor criminal lawyers. With no business coming in how will they ever survive? Y'all need to go out an commit some crimes to keep them going
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Thanks to the coronavirus, many couples about to get married are concluding that they don't need to have a wedding after all
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this river transport
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Your 15 minutes of fame
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
I'm not your buddy, friend. I'm not your friend, buddy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
An ICE jail has become the epicenter of a Covid-19 outbreak
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In 1918, people in San Francisco refused to obey a mandatory mask order and turned out for mass protests against it. Guess what happened next
source: influenzaarchive.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Seeing as the Olympics won't be needing it this year, Tokyo's homeless ask to use Athletes Village complex to ride out COVID-19
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you lose something in your car, remember to look under the seat. Especially if it's a baby
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Man protesting prison conditions encases himself in drums of concrete outside governor's mansion, becomes hardened criminal in the process
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hold that line. Hold it tight. Come on people, fight, fight, fight
source: metropole.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
It's all fun and sidewalk art until the HOA finds out
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Some actually legitimate ways to spot fake news from a satirical website
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Covid-19 gets its own song
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Wary of the disease-ridden peasants riding public transportation, Americans turn to bikes. Mumen Rider approves
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Wait, check that - it says H-E-P-L
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
At least Jack Torrence had bar service at the Overlook Hotel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this barley root
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old news: We need ventilators for COVID-19 patients. New horror: We need dialysis machines for COVID-19 patients
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Woman receives a "Sorry we called the cops on you" cake from neighbor after playing Pokemon Go
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by Florida, the beaches in California begin to reopen too
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these vacationing cows
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The vultures are circling
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Dad gives homeschool kid a recreated school bell to give him memories of school
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Yo, dawg, I hear you like wine cellars
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
We are NOT overreacting to the deadly coronavirus, if anything there are too many people underreacting
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Meal Team Six members in Wisconsin to hold "freedom rally" to fight for their right to infect others with coronavirus
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Wait, are you telling me that the pandemic ISN'T the perfect time to throw a destination wedding?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Beer, beer it's good for the heart, the more you drink the more you .... we are running out of farts, people. Wake up
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's with a heavy heart that, due to the coronavirus, we have to announce this year's worm charming festival is cancelled
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida beaches are packed 26 minutes after re-opening, because of course they are
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
As if we haven't suffered enough, high school student performs bagpipe tribute for COVID-19 victims
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Dad asks internet for advice on how to tell son he knows he's gay and is cool with it, receives tons of support. Tag is for everyone: dad, responders, son, boyfriend
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this birb
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"What we do is inspire people to realize that they can be the person that rescues that cat. We're going to have to stop doing anything else and just care for hundreds and hundreds of kittens". Welcome to Caturday
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
It turns out there is a historical connection between pilates and the 1918 flu pandemic
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
DHS warns COVID-19 changes potential terror targets. Good god, they are right. We need armed guards at all toilet paper factories ASAP
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Much like your mom, the Northeast anticipates getting pounded by up to 6 inches over the weekend
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health.com)
 
 
 
Quarantine constipation, the opposite of safe toilet syndrome
source: health.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I went to Albertson's twice a day," "I went to Sam's. I went to Walmart. I went to Lowe's. I used the gas pumps. I mean I just wasn't careful. God knows where I got it. The bad thing is I might have spread to somebody. I feel bad about that"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Rich dude pays $40,000 for a bag of Checkers burgers
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas decides to rebrand itself as West Florida, can't test at a proper pace but eff it, let's open 'er up anyway
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Is it too late to rename Covid-19 the "Florida Flu"?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The B-52s have broken up
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Canada continues to stand on guard against the US
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Stanford antibody study suggests a lot more people have been exposed to Covid-19 than we think
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Houston, we have a *cough*
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
14 years ago today, Fark's most epic thread was posted. Please take a moment to join your fellow Farkers in recognizing the glory that is... The Ballsack Conundrum
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Hey Bud, what's your problem?
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Taipei Times)
 
 
 
18-year-old took over family business two years ago, now ready to headline over Spinal Tap
source: taipeitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Illinois spent $17 million on face masks from China that are now being recalled in other states
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Yeah, come to think of it, given that she's responsible for unleashing BOTH of them upon the Nation, why ARE we giving Oprah a pass for "Dr" Phil and Dr. Oz?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Remember, infected New Yorkers: when you recover, you're still in New York
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The city of Temecula, California has the brilliant idea to bring you some "holiday cheer" with the totes adorbs "Quarantina the Elf"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
Zombie Angelina Jolie of Tehran most likely going full zombie
source: techtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northampton Chronicle and Echo)
 
 
 
UK cops use lockdown ban on "exercise" as an excuse to protect their speed camera racket near the World's End. Simon Pegg unavailable for comment
source: northamptonchron.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Broadcasting Network)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Eating your placenta could help you recover from labor. New hotness: Donating your placenta could help you recover from COVID-19
source: www1.cbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these social distancers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Join Drew and Dallan, who made a new "mushroom-worthy" background for today's livestream. The news cycle got really silly today. Plus the answer to the question what weird thing did The Pope and a Kenyan governor have in common? 6:40pm ET
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Mushroom sales up 18 percent, as pandemic reveals America's affinity for things that are kept in the dark and constantly fed shiat
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Small meat shops filling gaps' is not a Pornhub search in this timeline. Yet
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NWA Homepage)
 
 
 
Navy identifies first victim of its poor decision making on the USS Theodore Roosevelt
source: nwahomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
There's a crowd of protesters in front of Minnesota Governor's house right now, demanding that everything be reopened. No healthcare worker should be expected to risk their health or safety to care for arseholes who do this
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Swallowing their pride, San Francisco announces they will be a little less spectacular this June
source: sf.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Zoom has to watch out for who-ha's and dingles now that people are using it for online sex parties
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Everyone needs to stay home on 4/20," warns notorious straight-edge buzzkill... E-40
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
How the rich secluded themselves with good food and wine - during the Black Death
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chicago Police held its first ever online community meeting and went just as you would expect from an internet savvy public: with cursing, middle fingers, racial slurs, and porn
source: blockclubchicago.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
A guy that clearly dresses in the dark wants to tell you how to dress at home
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pocket Lint)
 
 
 
Why clean the house or put on pants when you can just use a fake backdrop in zoom meetings with your boss? Post your favorites - LGT example
source: pocket-lint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Oh, those poor hospitals, losing out on profit from elective surgeries because the health care industry is all about cash
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this interestingly named theater
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Next up: Governor Whitmer issues a state order to restrict people jumping into large bonfires. Local Conservatives organize an event and line up to leap into the flames
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
"Screw the pandemic; I'm reopening my outlet mall"
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cherokee Tribune & Ledger)
 
Weeners
 
Dick gets beaten at state election commission meeting
source: tribuneledgernews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Penis-mask woman has raised $56K for non-profit so far
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Joe Buck responds to the request for him to do play-by-play for adult websites
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Grand Island, Nebraska has more Covid-19 cases than Michigan as Nebraska has no stay-at-home order
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Police thy neighbor: Virus fears fuel quarantine shaming." Reasonable article, with a good idea: take cell phone pics of the plague rats who refuse to obey the rules and are endangering others. Fail tag is for the Yahoo comments section
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Local small business Ruth's Chris steakhouse gets a generous 20 million to help during these trying times, or a national chain that sells overpriced steaks takes money meant for small businesses
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
On this week's episode, Drew talks more about digital media's industry-wide pandemic ad revenue crash and what it will take for Fark to survive. Also clues to the next big story of the pandemic, along with some good old-fashioned morons being morons
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Three years ago, I got drunk and bought a boat on eBay
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
¿Es esencial la cerveza?
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Study finds 0.7% of patients with Medicare Advantage insurance did not have false diagnoses added to collect more money from the government. Apparently one adjuster is not a team player
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Turns out that flat COVID-19 curve in China is just what it looks like when you sweep 1200 corpses under a rug
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The UK held a Clap for Carers event for health care workers outside a hospital, and attendees all ignored the "Two Metre Distance" rule
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Pope Francis calls whiskey 'the real holy water' as a 'good-spirited joke. Vatican throws real holy water at him, censors him
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "I want my kids to get coronavirus - and you should too"
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Used to getting their own way, boomers don't like being told they have to sacrifice like their parents and grandparents did or their children and grandchildren do
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Not news: Because of COVID-19, U.S. Supreme Court modifies Rule 33.1. Fark: Briefs can now be submitted on 8½ x 11 inch paper
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Like most Americans, this skunk is completely addicted to ranch dressing
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Coronavirus lockdown gone too far: Professional gamblers in Nevada now able to collect unemployment...because they can't gamble
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Aaaaaannnnnnd... here come the hydroxychloroquine lawsuits
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Jacksonville's beaches to reopen says newly elected mayor Larry Vaughn
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
America needs new names for the state alliances forming to circumvent Trump. Any ideas, Farkers?
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kenya governor puts Hennessy bottles in coronavirus care packages. "It's a throat sanitizer"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Tampa arcade will rent out and deliver their machines to your home during the pandemic for one week with unlimited credit. Hero tag gives out a 1UP
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
I hate to defend Dr. Oz, but I'm a Slate author as well as an attention whore, and so I must
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Somber Guy)
 
 
 
Parents leave their soldier son's bedroom set-up as a memorial after he was killed in battle - in World War ONE
source: vintage-everyday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Navy tests the entire crew of the USS Roosevelt and discovers that either the coronavirus test gives out a lot of false positives or there are way, way more asymptomatic cases than previously known
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Boobies
 
Sorry, I can't hear you telling me about the future of humanity, your bewbs are too bright (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this key
source: dbs.com.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(404)
 
 
 
F-150 on I-95 to I-16 at 130 = 11-83 x 2
source: wgxa.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Good insulin news for once: Novo Nordisk will offer insulin free of charge for 90 days to diabetes patients who lost health insurance coverage because they lost their jobs
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
If you're the heavy equipment operator tasked with scooping up an "abandoned tent" while clearing out a homeless encampment, it might be a good idea to have a look inside before proceeding
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Putin postpones World War II victory parade due to hoax that isn't happening in Russia
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Australia admits coronavirus restrictions may last for a year
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
We weren't following any of the CDC guidlines for patient safety, but we put up hand sanitizers, so we're good, OK? We shouldn't have to like feed the people we put at risk, right?
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Coronavirus detectable in crotch area
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Citing Alex Jones and the Tangerine Terror, the 12 jurors from Roger Stone's trial are afraid for their lives
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Turns out that most Americans would rather not sacrifice their loved ones at the altar of avarice
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Neighbor helps himself to midnight snack from the outdoor garbage can. Is caught on camera
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"So then dad said, if you don't shut up I'm stopping and you can walk home"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
North Dakota to reopen May 1, allowing residents to return to doing . . . Well, the important thing is that it will be open
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Heinass crime thwarted
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(Stat News)
 
 
 
Early read out from remdesivir study of severe patients in Chicago. 113 patients, two deaths and with most patients leaving the hospital in six days
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Spell said his parishioners are true Christians who wouldn't mind dying from the virus because they'd be doing so in the name of God and freedom
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Two inmates decide to social distance themselves from a CoronaVirus infected jail
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thank you, Switzerland. In a return gesture of friendship, I shall eat some of your cheese. The one with the holes in it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Perth Australia's light shows thanking front-line workers are bringing out the UFO nutters
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
It takes a special kind of arsehole to deliberately tamper with PPE orders going to hospitals
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJTV Jackson)
 
 
 
Religious con man Tony Spell wants all of your sweet, sweet Trump money
source: wjtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Michigan residents that want to reopen the economy are also anti-vaxxers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Please excuse Juan for two weeks, he's in quarantine after testing positive for COVID-19. Signed, Epstein's Mother
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Dutchess County NY, putting COVID patients in nursing homes. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orange dress
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Dave's not here, man. He's gone for a naked bike ride to celebrate his 70th birthday (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Well, that's ONE good thing coming out of this COVID-19 pandemic
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Las Vegas casino dealers to wear masks while they rob people
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Let's hope those scrunchies aren't being used to pull her hair back
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ma'am angry after handyman leaves his big van near her window (damn), says it ruined her evening plan and he should carry the can. Sure, Jan
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Japan finally decides to declare a national state of emergency
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Fark News Update streaming today at 4pm. We'll have what you need to know from today's news, what's flying under the radar, today's news cycle Meta, some random weird stuff, and the wrong kind of flying cars
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Change.org)
 
 
 
Dr Anthony Fauci: Sexy man, or SEXIEST MAN ALIVE?
source: change.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
To infinity...and WALMART
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: If you were going to sell ad space on your Covid 19 mask what would it be?
source: cdn.ig60.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Worried about possibly having COVID-19 and want to be tested with instant results? Buy a plane ticket
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Liquor store owner gets jacked. One male suspect detained, two females have jacked off
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Brooklyn Paper)
 
 
 
Good: Eating dad's cooking at home. Bad: Eating dad at home
source: brooklynpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Russian fighter jet flies within 25 feet of U.S. spy plane, takes Polaroid, and requests to buzz tower
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Pope on a nope
source: alt1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just PA Representative Bob Brooks (R) showing up for a vote on "reopening" the economy while wearing one of the N95 masks that desperate doctors in his district can't get. Bonus: he's wearing it upside down
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The coronavirus pandemic has been good for dictators as they ruthlessly clamp down, seize power and rule by decree, but enough about NYC co-op boards
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Incredible finds found in location where Jesus was buried. Includes his diary where he talks about his good times with the 12 apostles and how his mom was always giving him a hard time about the Jews (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spoiler alert - article discloses how video ends
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
The Walmart loss prevention officer immediately retreated into the corner of the office to avoid getting hit with Dearing's flying poop and called for backup
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
MIT/Romero Institute study: NYC subways a major disseminator of coronavirus; NYC subway riders major disseminators
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Iran's navy is not practicing social distancing
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
France has an aircraft carrier and nearly everyone on board has Covid-19
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Well, Drew's boned
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Farkette)
 
 
 
What did they know and when did they know it? FARK: Quilt show insurer. Cancellation policy exemption added January 1st regarding corona virus in the U.S
source: craftindustryalliance.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes The Fall, Pink Turns Blue, Fad Gadget, and The Sound. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #129. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Need Froot Loops, banana peppers and low pulp orange juice? What's your last name?
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption this conoravirus protester
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Here's how the National Guardsmen in Vermont pulled off the construction of a hospital in four days to battle the coronavirus
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Experts warn that those Facebook trends of sharing your old yearbook photo, first dog's name, street where you grew up, favorite password, etc might be dangerous
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Payment Protection Program that was supposed to save small businesses is out of money two weeks after going live
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A Massachusetts man has been arrested for allegedly trying to blow up a Jewish assisted living residence. He's being held on attempted arson charges and currently waits appointment to the Trump administration
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Family recreates fifteen hour flight from the comfort of their living room. Bonus: No guitars got broken
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British painter claims that smoking protects people from coronavirus. So, who are we supposed to believe: a painter or countless medical experts? It's a tough one
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I'll put $1000 on 10 million people dying from coronavirus, please. Also, $500 on a giant meteor killing us all in the next 10 years. Thank you very much"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
LEEEEEEEEROOOY JEEEEEEENNNNKIIINnnnns
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCG New Bloomfield)
 
 
 
I don't know what the proper dose of fentanyl is for a toddler, but this one took too much
source: krcgtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Pastor accidentally gives online sermon with Facebook filters on, is the most realistic sermon in centuries
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Michigan was just the tip of the anti-American-lockdown protesting this week. I for one welcome our new Coronavirus Zombie Overlords
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Quick note: If you've had 17 old people die from COVID-19 in the nursing home you manage, hiding their bodies in a shed or empty room isn't going to stop people from looking for them
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Stimulus checks are being spent on dildos, tigers, guns and stripper poles. Just another Friday night
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop the surface of Mars
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman accidentally tans "adidas" onto her hock during coronavirus lockdown
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Don't run out of Farks2Give during the pandemic
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Colleges are already screwed when it comes to fall planning
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Dependents ages 17 to 24 won't get stimulated
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, this is a great time to walk the empty beaches of Mexico, CRIKEY LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT CROC
source: mexiconewsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Renters in the UK in dire straits over making payments due to Coronavirus, can't get help from their brothers in arms as no one is choosing love over gold, succumbing to industrial disease, and unlike in the US, they aren't giving money for nothing (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
You've seen people use aircraft evacuation slides casually in the pre-flight safety videos. Here's a video of people using them while motivated
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Star-Tribune)
 
 
 
COVID-19 suggestion. If you get tested after possible exposure, don't spend the weekend at multiple house parties
source: trib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Three dumb men / Three dumb men / See how they run / See how they run / They all broke through the apartment door / The owner shot at them as they dodged and bled / Did you ever see such a sight in your life / As three dumb men?
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Florida Man rejects the idea that furloughing prisoners during the COVID-19 pandemic will save lives
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
They bring an IV pole, you bring a catheter. It's the Flint way
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Maybe we can just build another tunnel in Seattle
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Paper mill in small town of Jay, ME suffers massive explosion. No injuries, but plenty of onlookers sheet themselves (NSFW language video goodness in TFA)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 780: "Isolation". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police uncover attempt to smuggle face masks into the country undetected by hiding them inside a shipment of cocaine
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio Tulsa)
 
 
 
Rents have been waived for a second month in a row by the housing authority in the Soviet Socialist Republic of *adjusts glasses* Tulsa, Oklahoma
source: publicradiotulsa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Same as it ever was
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
It's embarrassing when you're at the airport and EVERYONE knows you have a case of the crabs
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
One year after nearly being destroyed by fire, and with restoration work halted by the pandemic, Notre Dame Cathedral has this to say
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As long as fapping and drinking don't fall under the definition of 'Arduous exercise', Farkers are gonna live forever during a pandemic
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delta Optimist)
 
 
 
"It's nighttime, I'm drunk, I'm in bathrobe and slippers, have a full charge on the golf cart, and it's 2 miles to Tsawwassen. Hit it"
source: delta-optimist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Governing)
 
 
 
Police using drones to "gently remind" residents that Big Brother is watching
source: governing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard University)
 
 
 
Welcome, sulfur dioxide. Hello, comorbidity
source: projects.iq.harvard.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these skinny towel storage ladders
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Move over Pizza Rat, Philadelphia has a Pizza Groundhog
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas dentists using 3D printers to create swabs needed for COVID-19 tests is no longer a plot line from a failed SyFy series
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer carrying paper towels spontaneously combusts. Water poured on it was quickly absorbed. Story was picked up quickly, though
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Arizona COVID patient becomes member of rare club: one of roughly 10, world wide, who survived not just a ventilator but being hooked to an ECMO machine. Wait until he gets the bill
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One year later, Quasimodo is still homeless
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Sadly America is not ready for the kind of grief that will be inflicted soon on the country because of the coronavirus pandemic
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"The rich have fled New York City. I'm sick of being told that I need to stay, because I want to escape too." Sorry toots, you should have become rich before the outbreak, what were you thinking?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Someone leaves newborn baby at apartment complex. Every year for the past three years. All three babies are full siblings. Tag says it all
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
If you feel surviving in dire situations against all odds is impossible, then you've never met Ernest Shackleton, aka the British version of Tom Hanks character in 'Cast Away'
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A sci-fi cult is being blamed for the fires outside Chernobyl
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Germany begins preparations for invasion of Poland. Wait, I meant they are ready to slowly "open their economy", if you know what I mean
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
South Korea continues to make the US Federal Government response to the Pandemic look like a cross between a big used car sale and a three stooges marathon
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Weeks ago Seaworld furloughed 90 percent of their workers without pay or benefits. Next on their agenda? Give 6.8 million in bonuses to the top 6 executives. Well, they did take a 20% pay cut so they deserve a bonus right?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
"For those earning $1 million annually, a tax break buried in the recent coronavirus relief legislation is so generous that its total cost is more than total new funding for all hospitals in America ... "
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boop-able good boy
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
NJ Man crashes Florida online kindergarten music class. Fark: it was Jon Bon Jovi
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iran is boasting of its Bi-polar Electromagnetic Corona Virus Detector that can scan for viruses in 5 seconds with no blood test. Subby's Bi-polar college roommate probably could as well, but subby had to commit him for singing to demons all night
source: tasnimnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back at 2pm Eastern with a summary of today's news, pandemic or otherwise. Come for the upbeat news summary, stay for the Pants Trifecta and Pizza Groundhog
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"One of the negatives of living in a rural community is you think it protects you somehow. We get a little bit cavalier, a little lazy about social distancing"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Company introduces the "Power Hour", where employees working from home can take a break for one hour to eat their lunch
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"BAH GAWD, KING The economy is about to get a steel chair to the face"
source: heelbynature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Internal Revenue Service)
 
 
 
Have you gotten your stimulus check yet? If not, this page will tell you when to expect it
source: sa.www4.irs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Denmark has decided to re-open its schools, apparently figuring the horns on the helmets the kids wear will give then enough natural "social distance" to keep them safe
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Gov. Cuomo to require face masks in public starting this week for all of New York. Violators will be punished like they would for a minor offense, such as jay walking. In other words NYC, carry on
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida officials won't say which nursing homes have COVID-19. Asinine tag being brought home to die alone in family's den
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
After video of unmasked jarheads ignoring social distancing while standing in line at Camp Pendleton barber for high-and-tight goes viral, DOD considers allowing all commanding officers to let their men skip haircuts for the time being
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Well, there's your problem. It looks like you've got a couple of acres of island stuck in your intake
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Some working wankers just can't wait until their shift ends: Bus driver caught meathanded masturbating at the wheel with passengers on board (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this: chiropractors are giving people false information about COVID-19. I know, I was shocked too. Well, not so shocked
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Note to Self: When driving around with an active warrant, drugs, a gun and 4 kids in your car don't start a high speed chase with State Troopers
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
This isn't just the article you deserve, this is the article you need
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Are all you indoor types ready for a pandemic summer?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Social distancing at its finest; during a light snow in Chicago, fifty cars managed to create a major pileup on the Kennedy Expressway
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Salt Lake City man saves John Connor from certain death
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Student Lawsuit: "Liberty University is, in a very real sense, profiting from the COVID-19 pandemic-keeping its campus and campus services 'open' as a pretext to retain Plaintiff's and the other Class members' room, board and campus fees,"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Prison in Goochland has Virginia's first inmate to die of COVID-19. In other news...GOOCHLAND?
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you left a case of dynamite in an abandoned schoolhouse in Roxbury, Vermont, the state police bomb squad would like a word. So would some Hollywood script writers, because what's the backstory on that?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
The Taneytown Police Department would like to remind you to wear pants when getting your mail. You have been warned Maryland Man
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Morning America)
 
 
 
At least it's not 'Don't Fear the Reaper'
source: goodmorningamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A Corona casualty nobody will miss: SAT/ACT tests. RIP pointless ripoff
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woodworker
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCTI 12 New Bern)
 
 
 
Meet K-9 Nibbles, who was one of 31 pit bull puppies seized from a suspected dogfighting operation several years ago, and he's completed Police Canine School just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: wcti12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
When they say don't even think about going outside, they mean don't even think about going outside
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Family without enough face masks denied entry to community storm shelter as tornado was bearing down
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Post Office is essential
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Man who tried to return 150 one-litre bottles of hand sanitiser could end up in solvent
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
$1200 stimulus checks likely delayed a few days longer so the Treasury Department can print Trump's name on them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For those who couldn't make it to Easter service, here is the Episcopal Church Virtual Choir. 600 participants from around the world
source: episcopalchurch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Indian workers who were forced from the cities back to their home villages are now escaping from quarantine camps. Looks like AMC is picking up Walking Dead: Uttar Pradesh next season
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Crew of USS Mercy has become a hotspot
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Yay Capitalism
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Manhattan man, probably already through the looking glass, arrested for threatening to blow up Central Park's Alice in Wonderland statue with a pipe bomb
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Have overdraft fees with your bank or owe a debt collector money? Don't get too excited about your stimulus check
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Grocery store forgets to close on Easter Sunday
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm just a lonely American, lonely and blue. I'm all alone with nothing to do
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense News)
 
 
 
Best Korea attacks the ocean again
source: defensenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Couple celebrates 62 years of marriage, 50 years of social distancing from each other
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When he isn't fighting fires he's cooking meals for seniors and health care professionals
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pantagraph)
 
 
 
One way Illinois isn't a shiathole state: Changes worker's comp rules to presume that first responders and front-line workers were exposed to COVID-19 while on the job
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The six criteria that must be met before Newsom lifts California's stay-at-home order
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
We are all going through a tough time right now being socially isolated during this uncertain time, but honking your horn like a jackass and ending up in your underwear on someone else's roof isn't going to make those zoom hangouts any more bearable
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Loose goat visits Massachusetts liquor store. Hey there's no real need to reveal the goat's morals is there?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTBS Shreveport)
 
 
 
Louisiana now has flies that enter the human body through the ears and nose. No word from health officials if they wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex and make them want to follow the orders of Khan Noonan Singh
source: ktbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scots holiday boozers are not letting the coronavirus pandemic go to waste, will be heading to Spain to find beer prices that are as low as 50p after lockdown
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scots inventor launches Gyr8tr sex toy that's 'more reliable than hubby or the postman' as it always delivers. Hey oh
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back with another Fark Livestream - 7:30pm Eastern. Come for today's news summary, stay for the latest on Boober Eats and also UFO chickens
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
France orders Amazon to stop delivery of nonessential items. So wine and sex toys are still good amiright
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Mutant two-faced kid goat that feeds with both mouths leaves Wisconsin farmer stunned...looking for more food (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dogwood blossoms
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
'Makeup artist, Okla. Governor under fire after allegedly ignoring social distancing and non-essential worker guidelines' Remember back when this would have been a sex-scandal headline?
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Reporters are not supposed to be the story, but sometimes they can't help it
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois: When will the shelter-in-place order be lifted? Justin Timberlake meme: It's gonna be MAY. Lori Lightfoot: [Stares in unlikely]
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chile counts people who die from Coronavirus as recovered because they 'are no longer contagious'. Also considers them criminals because they 'are no longer paying taxes'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You know those fires around Chernobyl? They're finally under control
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pause a minute to remember a WW2 fighter ace who was "often shot up, but never shot down" and who made it to 100. Bonus: his name practically described his skill
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
News: German zoos are running out of money. Holy George Orwell: they may have to feed some animals to the others
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Yo, jailer. Do you want this shell casing I just dug out of my poop? It's evidence against me
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Man raises £2m for the NHS on a sponsored walk - in his garden - and is still going. Oh, and he's a 99-year-old WW2 vet who's doing it out of gratitude for his hip replacement surgery. What's your excuse?
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Silent but deadly. It's not just about farting anymore
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
We need to understand how Wuhan got the virus right off the bat
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
There are no speed humps in this drive-thru strip club, but the champagne and deep fried snacks will certainly slow your roll
source: alt1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Rainbow appears over New York City during the 7 o'clock cheer. But what does it mean? You can't explain that
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Surgeon General recommends Floridians stay away from each other to avoid coronavirus, winding up on Fark's main page
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Doctors using the "burgers on the grill" method to save the lives of coronavirus patients
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
So why are we shut down for COVID-19, and weren't for SARS, MERS, swine flu, or ebola? Two factors: Virulence and deadliness. Those diseases only had one or the other. COVID has both
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent Tribune)
 
 
 
Subby isn't sure what's weirder with this picture: The seemingly erased head of a girl, the confederate flag draped from a bull statue's horns, or that apparently, a high school student would show up at school this month
source: independenttribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Hairstylists wish you'd stop asking them to break the law and cut your hair
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
B-52's now sitting on runway in Guam next to a rock. Wait, it wasn't a rock. It was a...ROCK LOBSTER
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this teary eye
source: media.thegospelcoalition.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Telling a cop wait until I see you on the street will not stop the police from arresting you, and in fact will allow the police to add an additional charge against you
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Bored out of their skulls, 13 fire departments responded to a single house fire
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Arizona forest officials to hikers out-and-about during the coronavirus pandemic: Please stop leaving your poop outside our closed bathrooms
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Tired of those regular, boring, stuffy Zoom meetings? Why not add a goat or a llama to your meeting?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Private island that is one of the richest zip codes in the country is having no problem getting COVID-19 tests for its residents
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Doctors in the rural south don't need testing to know that corona's virus is a-coming. They can hear it on the breath of the wind, in the strange silence of the morning whipporwhill, in the awkward splash of the young rascal's foot in the mud puddle
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Argentina's health officials are finding it difficult to quantify the "impact of Covid-19 in that part of Argentina." Guess where that might be (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Workers in Liverpool have dug up the body of a vampire who was buried face down at a crossroads. Meanwhile, werewolves are waiting offstage for their cue
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Here's something to do when pots and pans and ping pong balls get old
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
Bill Murray helps retool Jeep Superbowl ad as coronavirus PSA. Doesn't advocate groundhogs driving since nobody's on the road
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Eight huge new pieces of positive news about the coronavirus that we could all use right about now
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Do you stay up late reading scary news? Congratulations, you're a 'Doomscroller'
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Social distancing will never work because Americans will do whatever they want" myth goes right out the window. 90% of y'all are doing a good job of it. It's the 10% who are going to protests, megachurches, and COVID parties we have to worry about
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Symptoms of coronavirus include cough, fever, too much darn sex (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
It's about time America embraced bidets. Wait a second, let me rephrase that
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk and old is no way to go through life but it is a way to increase your odds of getting coronavirus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
While most of us have been day-drinking for the past month, this quarantined family decided to recreate the music video from Journey's 'Separate Ways'
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With this hand I hand thee the toilet paper
source: honey.nine.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
You may think walking around the neighborhood at this time is a good way to get out of the house and get some exercise. The hawks may disagree
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The zombie apocalypse has begun, for real this time
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
So how does one 'ethically source' a human spine?
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Woman tests positive for coronavirus despite not leaving the house in 3 weeks. I mean, yeah, her husband leaves the house. And that one lady came by
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Florida, Pants still optional
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gym users complain about inflexible contracts. New and hot: Gym owners complain about inflexible contracts. Ironic tag will be along in 26 minutes
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Virus hits Yolo County nursing home. YOLO
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Bored at home? Better than being trapped in the cab of a truck, dangling from a great height, over a river, during a severe thunderstorm
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Because nothing new is coming out of Hollywood anytime soon, let's look at some outtakes. Difficulty: from the Golden Age of Cinema. Amazingly, some NSFW language from an era when saying 'damn' was a mild controversy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested twice in three hours for entering Wawa without mask. Punishment for the third time is a cage match with Wawa deprived NJ coffee addicts
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lockdown envy: When you're jealous of everyone else's isolation pads and think your own is substandard
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Cyclists stop panting viruses through our village / stay away." Your dog wants another route to ride his/her bike (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Covid-19 antibody tests could help us determine when enough people have an immunity to the virus that it is safe to re-open the country, but that's assuming they're more accurate or available than the current tests
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Are food shortages coming? Yes, if we panic. So, yes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"For pandemic times... make it Suntory time." *sip*
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Trapped without booze, desperate Pennsylvania residents have been resorting to extreme measures - like entering Ohio
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You'll be pleased to know that the 93 year old woman with the "I need beer" sign now has 10 cases of Coors Light. Also, beer has vitamins
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bad news sushi lovers: Since 1970, there has been a 283-fold increase in parasitic worms in fish. Good news: you get bonus 'food' inside your food
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
When this is all over perhaps our lives will improve. We'll give each other adequate space, we'll care for one another, and we'll buy enough toilet paper to last forever
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Suddenly a light goes on, and you find out your declaration of love for a chandelier is not a protected sexual orientation
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Wholesale supply chain Restaurant Depot has opened their doors to the public. Come for the TP, stay for the Bubble Gum Flavored Sno-Cone syrup
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman strips naked and jumps on top of police cruiser after being released on bail for violating lockdown mandate. And since it was not in America, the giggity tag can actually be used
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)