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Sun April 12, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
This week, expect the Department of Justice to determine that treating religious gatherings the same as other gatherings is not "evenhanded"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
To help protect the First Nations, Canada presents the COVID Corvid
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
As everyone stays home, all the money taxed from tollroads ain't coming in, so budgets to repair roads and bridges for the next few years are in big trouble
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
After robbing bank, teenager stops in the lobby, enjoys an "adult beverage", and waits for the cops to show up
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
If the US is reopened May 1, we'll be ref*cked by Covid-19
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Stockpile of 39 million masks intended for California found to be fraudulent. Discovery made by Feds trying to steal them for national stockpile
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stiff Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wedding guests
source: headtopics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So it begins. A doctor used his GOP connections to get hydroxychloroquine to administer to dozens of elderly patients with COVID-19 in what he calls an "observational study." In some cases, he didn't discuss it with the patients or their families before prescribing the drug
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Who's going to pay for it?"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The cost of not shutting down Florida's Spring Break has started being tallied
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
This is the mom we all need
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Daily Forward)
 
 
 
Hospital clowns sure do look different with facemasks on
source: forward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Photoshop this introduction of Windows(c)
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
Home invader pulls out a knife, homeowner pulls out a chainsaw. It is the way of the Yoopers
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
All 50 states have been declared federal disaster zones, from sea to shining sea
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption these beach-going cows
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rojak Daily)
 
 
 
Malaysians build pleasure pods to help medical workers. Oh wait, sorry... "pressure" pods. Well, that's just disappointing, but okay, yay for them
source: rojakdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mother Nature would like to help take your mind off of coronavirus today. Especially those of you who live in the South and Northeast
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So on one of the most religious holidays of the Christian calendar, why do so many people "celebrate" by making a small furry woodland creature the focus of the day?
source: goodhousekeeping.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bring out your dead [clang] Bring out your dead [clang] Bring out your dead [clang]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Russians gotta be Russian
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
How to look your best on a video call, no pants required
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Elaborate and very tacky underground doomsday bunker on sale for $18M in Las Vegas. Even for Vegas this is tacky because the drapes match the furniture
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Belfast pub delivers pints of freshly-poured Guinness door-to-door to booze-loving Irish during coronavirus lockdown. No word yet on whether Drew will be doing clean up with towels
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
93-year-old pensioner from Pennsylvania puts out a Facebook appeal saying she needs more beer
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Photoshop some Easter eggs for stay-at-home inspiration
source: imagesvc.meredithcorp.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Social Closeness
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Just because we're all stuck inside these days doesn't mean it's acceptable to let your 7-year-old play Fortnite for 19 hours a day
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Why the current push to "reopen the country" is a bad idea
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Although Julian Assange was isolated and persecuted while holed up in an Ecuadorian embassy, he certainly wasn't celibate
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ah, our wedding day. Beautiful weather. Dad didn't get drunk and start a fight. The best man kept his hands off the bridesmaids.... and the police were super nice
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Come see the violence inherent in the system as UK Police go door to door searching for young children
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Please continue to stay the feck at home, unless you want to be intubated by a proctologist
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Police chief on administrative leave after berating officers over COVID-19 concerns, claiming deputy sheriff died from virus because he was "homosexual who attended homosexual 'sexual' events"
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
The Fart of Death (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Over half a million Americans have tested positive for coronavirus
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Thinking of ordering your groceries online? Yeah....well.....good luck with that
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
If you're gonna make ventilators these days, it helps to sell some to the locals
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
You know that game changing rapid COVID-19 test? Surprise for the White House. Sending the machines without sending the test cartridges makes the machines great paper weights to hold down the death certificates
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome Fark Artists to ye Fartist Friday contest. This week's theme: "Cupboard & Cabinet Creations." Raid your stashes and showcase your favorite social distancing provisions. Difficulty: Cans, cartons and paper goods only (thread is open)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Nobody on Fark is as tough as this little wasp
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Nearly 400 women have joined a UK dating site for men with big penises in just one week. Ron Jeremy seen wiping tears from his eyes (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
A timeline of panic buying for the pandemic. What color is your hair today?
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Uh yeah I'll take a double cheese burger no onions ahh large tater tots and a large diet Coke oh yeah and an AR-15 with the supersize magazine and laser site on the side
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this relaxing scene
source: kimberlywagner.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Churches claim that their parishioners are being quarantined "for being Christian"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio: "Due to the pandemic, all NYC public schools will be closed for the remainder of the school year." Gov. Andrew Cuomo: "Oh, I don't think so"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What better way to cheer yourself up during lockdown than lean out of your window at 18:30 every evening and moo like a cow? I cudn't think of an udder way and these guys hoof milked it for all they are worth
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Creator of Care Bears has drawn a new one. It's called the Stay at Home Bear
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Have you wondered why these wannabe Nazis all act like a bunch of 13-year-olds? There's a reason for that
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Put down the shot glass, it's still too early. Take a virtual trip to Tokyo instead, you can/will get hammered later
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You know that slim bit of optimism you had this morning? Well, South Korean patients that were previously cleared are now testing positive for "reactivated" COVID-19 infection
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gnarly frog
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
ProTip: Don't give your Mom a 'bump' of heroin to help her recover from surgery, dude
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Me TV)
 
 
 
Whelp, this aged poorly
source: metv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Oh, you were serious. Let me laugh harder
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news everyone
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Doctor Fauci says we could be close to normal ... by November
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Famine, fires, floods, earthquakes, even the occasional volcanic eruption. What else could go wrong during a pandemic? Florida tag: hold my beer, I got the answer to this question
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this audible drone
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news: We've passed "peak death toll" ... and if anyone calls their Icelandic Death Metal / Mandy Moore crossover tribute band by that name, well, I'd probably buy a ticket to your virtual concert
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine bananas, popcorn, strawberries, tuna (including the water in the can), Brussels sprouts, creamed corn, bread, black beans, mayonnaise, and imitation butter?
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Did it not make a sound?
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
NOLA doctors take the Big Easy route
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Major U.S. cities are doing better, and all it took was a pandemic
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
I say old chap, I'll give you a pennyweight of eggs for a barleycorn of toilet paper
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Hey, let's go kayaking in the creek after five consecutive days of heavy rain. What could possibly go wrong?
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this motivated bunny
source: ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Some people grow up to be doctors, some people grow up to be lawyers. This woman grew up to be a moose poop artist
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
While the Georgia Aquarium is closed to the public amid the COVID-19 pandemic, some furry felines got to take a private tour, pick out dinner on Caturday
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Australian)
 
 
 
But is it though?
source: portnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Double Tree hotel shares chocolate chip cookie recipe for first time ever. Needs more raisins
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
So, when you ride the bus in Philadelphia please make sure you're wearing a mask
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Coronavirus will permanently change the world, if it already hasn't
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Nurses and doctors working the front line in New York rewarded by having their tires slashed
source: westchester.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Welcome to winter. Ever build a snowman on Easter?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Old: Oregon Trail. .. New: Oakland Trail. .. You pass a boarded-up building. Would you like to take a closer look?
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Too afraid to go to hospitals at symptom onset, NYCers are dying of heart attacks at home
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newshub NZ)
 
 
 
The 2020 dumpster fire continues : Krakatoa volcano goes kaboom
source: newshub.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Data show one of the strongest predictors of social distancing behavior is attitudes toward climate change. Welp, we're farked
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No one could have ever predicted that the boss of the Navy firing the captain of a ship for trying to save the lives of his crew, then calling the captain stupid and reprimanding the crew for liking him, might cause a minor morale problem
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boston sets up one-way sidewalks with $100 fines for walking the wrong way
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Subby has found old nails and the odd coin when digging in his garden, but never a car
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Bring on the dynamite
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Eee-bo-laaa
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Florida Man places thousands of dollars in fake pizza orders for NJ cops, runs one pizza parlor out of business
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Enterprise News)
 
 
 
"The crash involved two Jeeps and one coffee shop, police said"
source: enterprisenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
How the Republic of Molossia, and other micronations, are handling the covid-19 pandemic
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your airplane is going down, and you want to feel closer to God, this is perfect for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Those nurses who risked their lives wearing trash bags as protection in order to take care of coronavirus patients? Now they've tested positive. At least the trash bag companies are making a profit
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Well, Louisiana, it was nice knowing you
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Guess who just got back today. The bunnies are back in town, the bunnies are back
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
"To further protect state residents, Beshear said anyone who is caught participating in a mass gathering during the weekend will be ordered to quarantine for 14 days by their local health department." Plate #s at churches will be sent to authorities
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Really, just come on," she said. "Have some compassion and common sense in this time of crisis we're in"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
On hearing that many of his followers plan to gather in his name on Easter despite COVID-19, God decides to send tornadoes to stop those idiots
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLY Spokane)
 
 
 
"Yeah, I'm into fitness. FITNESS WHOLE TRUCK IN YOUR GYM"
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey kids, today on Schoolhouse Fark we're going to learn about a 1905 Supreme Court case, Jacobson v Massachusetts. Why? "Jacobson instructs that *ALL* constitutional rights may be reasonably restricted to combat a public health emergency." Ruh-roh
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this barricaded conversation
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Put them paws in the air Easter Bunny, I'm Ohio Man and I ain't a playin
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
But I bet the fly fishing is unbelievable
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Gazette)
 
 
 
Illinois slowly spreading the covid chronic to Indiana, one birdie at a time
source: news-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Brits practicing social distancing are gorging on BBC
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago's United Center has been completely filled with non-perishable food - 25,828 boxes. 640 pallets. 774,840 lbs and one Ark of the Covenant
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
In other news, the An Garda Síochána (the Irish national police force) would like you to know that no, donuts are not an essential food during the pandemic and yes, they are confiscating your car
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Meth, illegal artifacts and Baby Yoda on date night, couple had
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tulsi: *releases workout video* Uganda's septuagenarian President: Hold my Waragi, drop the beat, and watch this
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How about no
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
People are pissed off about couple-spreading on the sidewalks. No, that's not what it means, get your mind out of the gutter and back onto the sidewalk
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you're living in Burbank and your power just dropped out, I have an idea why
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back with another Fark News Roundup. Bonus: It's Floating Head Friday. Come for the news, stay for the dogs dancing to Hall and Oates
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I saw the best bookstore of its generation destroyed by a virus, howling hysterical naked, dragging itself through crowdfunders at dawn looking for a literary fix
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 33/40 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Cheesecake, underwear and crab legs: 911 calls during COVID-19 in Battle Creek, Mich
source: abc3340.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Border Patrol busts man with 37 bundles of meth hidden in car's gas tank, say it had street value of 7 rolls of toilet paper
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Alabama, still keeping the "noose out front should have told you" riff relevant
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty lobby
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci indicates antibody tests could be available soon. Asymptomatic billionaires, politicians, celebrities and athletes seen lining up to confirm negative statuses
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
I know, everyone: Let's take a big group photo of us crawling up each others a** during a pandemic. What could possibly go wrong?
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Brace yourself: the snake oil is coming
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Thailand makes fatal mistake in war on COVID-19
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Highlander really let himself go
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Drop everything in these coronavirus times for New York: Sandra Lee is in close contact with her ex, Governor Andrew Cuomo, during the crisis: "He's still my guy". Okay let the dying continue and here's some cooking advice. Still not denying he has pieced nipples
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Masked man shares his love of the accordion. What turned the Lone Ranger into a villain?
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Three of the United States' aircraft carriers now have crew members infected with COVID-19, which means that if you add up all the other nations' currently active aircraft carriers, we're outnumbered 11 to 9. They're gonna invade us, aren't they?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
CDC extends the no sail order for all cruise ships
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Carole Baskin from 'Tiger King' says she now has drones flying over her house and strangers waiting for her
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New York state now has more coronavirus cases than any single country outside the USA. [FACEPALM] tag quarantined after touching its face, [FAIL] tag is at an anti-shutdown protest, and [FLORIDA] is nervously sweating at the community senior center
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The difference between America and Europe, in a nutshell: Miss America is interested in maps and the Iraq and such as. Miss England is interested in respiratory medicine. Because she's a doctor of it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fu, James Fu)
 
 
 
Woman orders 76 types of breakfast at once in first day of lockdown-free Wuhan, one for each day of the quarantine during the 76-day quarantine. Is hungry an hour later
source: dailysabah.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Behold a new bright comet in the heavens. It foretells great possibilities of, oh wait never mind, it's gone
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
China's wet markets can include unusual items such as giant salamanders, baby crocodiles, raccoon dogs, and PewDiePie fan shirts
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
What does reopening America for business without a COVID-19 vaccine or cure look like? A combination of testing millions per *day*, and a surveillance state with possible continuous GPS tracking of all citizens. But think of the shareholders...🇺🇸
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Empty streets and clean air: Photos from around the world showing life during the lockdowns
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Cider vinegar, garlic, rosemary, lemongrass, parsley and a bay leaf are used in A) song lyrics B) pot roast or C) a coronovirus cure used by a British TV host
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When Capt. Crozier sent a letter last week warning the Navy brass that Coronavirus was going to run rampant on his ship the USS Roosevelt without help, 3 cases had become 100 in a week, now there are 416 confirmed cases and 1,000 tests still pending
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bolton News)
 
 
 
This story has everything: Angry dad in local news ✔. Pot Noodle ✔. Street blockade ✔. Standoff with bin men ✔. Googling recycling ✔. Flame war in the comments section ✔. Florida ✖.... Okay, almost everything
source: theboltonnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
People show up outside Ohio governor's press conference to protest quarantine, will prove governor's point once the incubation period is over
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
"One homeowner found a fish cracker, a sheet of toilet paper, powdered drink mix, and a crumpled up piece of paper containing pornographic images" in a plastic Easter egg. It's sad that someone would waste toilet paper like that
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Superstitious idiot will continue to be superstitious no matter what. The magic guy in the sky will wave a magic wand and all the coronavirus will disappear. Our superstition rules, science drools
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
"I'm really, really serious"
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The best Coronavirus response may have come from--Ohio?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Oh, no you don't, volcanic region in Iceland. We've got plenty to deal with already, so don't you wake up and "cause disruption for centuries"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Woman loses all three of her jobs in 48 hours. "I am a professional tattoo artist, also a professional traveling chalk artist, and then I'm also a director of administration at an event center." With video of awesome neighborhood chalk mural
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Governor mulling over opening schools because 'Coronavirus doesn't seem to threaten kids'. Yup, Florida
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Yes, a hot dog is a sandwich. Fight me (actually, it's a taco -Drew)
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thanks for the repatriation offer America, but I feel safer here. In Beirut
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nice family you have there. Be a shame if anything happened to it
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Landlords show their couth during this coronavirus pandemic by asking for sex instead money for rent
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Your Dog)
 
 
 
China moves into 18th century and looks to reclassify dogs as "companion animals" rather than "livestock". Your dog doesn't want to be a steak
source: news.cgtn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Police in Greater Manchester attended almost 500 parties over the weekend which is pretty irresponsible they should have been breaking them up... (*reads article*)... never mind
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this opera singer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
While doctors are dying because hospitals cannot afford enough PPE, spare a thought for the people making billions from the outbreak
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Really, who thought contracting coronavirus on purpose would be a good idea?
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Sappy: Walking your daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. Sad: Realizing you won't be able to because you're dying from lung disease. Spiffy: Staging the moment so you'll both have the memories. Creepy: Dude, your daughter is only 10
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Q: What's the difference between watching church online vs. having thousands of people out on the road in a pandemic to attend "drive-in" church? A: Online church can't bully you into rolling down your window for the collection plate
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Somewhere between 12 million and 35 Americans have already lost their health insurance along with their job. Thank goodness there isn't some sudden surge in health emergencies to force them into bankruptcy and homelessness too
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's no dying in the hallways. I repeat, there's no dying in the hallwa oh crap would you move those folks so people can walk?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Last living person with a direct oral history from a participant of the Battle of Little Bighorn in 1876 passes away. Rest in peace, Medicine Crow
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Food and Drug Administration)
 
 
 
If you had a Venn diagram of "FDA warning," "promoting false coronavirus cures," and "Alex Jones" as intersecting circles, step forward to collect your prize
source: fda.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Welcome to Utah: Papers please
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
🌈
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Public messaging has been so muddled that a lot of people don't know whether they are supposed to stay home or not
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Governor DeSantis included golf courses as "essential businesses" like grocery stores, pharmacies. Unlike those establishments though, social distancing remains optional on fairways, club houses
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Frustrated with child cars seats? In the '70s, you could have trusted your baby to a swaying hammock that's preparing to sling them into the roof or through the windshield
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Even coronavirus wants nothing to do with Harvey Weinstein
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
An anti-LGBTQ Republican activist and some pastors in Harris County TX have challenged the stay-at-home order in state district court claiming that the government is issuing edicts and mandates that are "an infringement on religious liberties"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Cheltenham Festival organizers are at a loss to explain why people who attended are getting sick. In hindsight, citing Boris Johnson at a rugby game as a justification to allow it to go forward wasn't helpful
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
Boobies
 
What do breast pumps and ventilators have in common? Apparently quite a bit
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
This should cause a well reasoned twitter response
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
Governor Goofus shuts down liquor stores as non-essential. Governor Gallant authorizes local restaurants to start selling mixed drinks to-go, curb side (and they immediately step up to the challenge in Subby's community)
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gourd E. Howe)
 
 
 
Aspersions cast, penis bitten. Bonus questionable pic of what ow my balls might look like
source: ghanaweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Want something else besides the virus to worry about? How about giant Asian hornets that will sting you dead?
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
WHO determines dogs not susceptible to COVID-19. All dogs under quarantine can now go outside. In other words, WHO let the dogs out
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Let's check in on the first state to legalize recreational marijuana and see how they're handling the quarantine
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dr Fauci recommends we never shake hands ever again. We can still wink at each other
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Russians are dancing, dancing, dancing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
103-year-old Italian great grandmother beats coronavirus, says "I'd like to take a lovely walk"
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
One positive of Covid-19: Assuming you can get a flight to where you want to go, those long, twisty TSA lines are a thing of the past
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Vietnamese dancers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
52 years ago this week, James Brown saved Boston
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
This is like the beginning of a horror movie. Keep Carol Anne away from the TV
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
It's like that joke about the traveling salesman and the farmer's daughter except it's coronavirus and not funny
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Even Republican U.S. Rick Scott is coming aboard for a rent freeze. Things must be really terrible
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
People are luring Instacart shoppers with big tips -- and then changing them to zero
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Wildlife expert with the National Parks Service warns that us humans could infect American bats with coronavirus and turn them into blood-sucking flying zombies. Also wants us all to sleep tight
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
At least your job doesn't involve hauling virus samples from hospitals to labs for testing
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Covid is now the leading cause of death in the US. But remember, it's just the flu
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeking Alpha)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci hopes to see normalization in the US by summer, region by region. Sorry Washington, DC, it will be at least late January 2021 for you
source: seekingalpha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
For over a month after the first US COVID-19 case, the Trump administration pushed US companies to export masks, ventilators, and other needed medical supplies to China. Source: Commerce Department bulletin to manufacturers
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Can you spot the large python found hiding in this Australian office? How about the 3 ninjas? (with video)
source: sg.tv.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
America, the only nation to start laying off doctors and nurses during a global pandemic. I wonder why that is, huh, I guess we will never find out. Just one of those things, ya know
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Drive-thru testing to begin at Daytona International Speedway. Those who test positive encouraged not to live out Dale Earnhardt fantasies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this modern day birthday party
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson no longer pining for the fjords
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mexican Nightclub Sex Delivery is the name of my Tito and Tarantula-Marvin Gaye fusion band
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1A)
 
 
 
Tom Hanks interviewed on NPR about being alive 50 years after part of his spacecraft blew up on the way to the Moon and almost 25 years the movie about it came out starring Jim Lovell as the captain of the USS Iwo Jima
source: the1a.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
That night you were singing in the club and that actress picked you up .... never happened. We'll discuss it later, they need you on the set. Quentin wants you in the next scene
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
All 11 patients diagnosed with COVID-19 in Greenland have recovered, which means that someone just lost their game of Plague Inc
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Depending on your point of view, bagpiper provides joy or agony for residents of his neighborhood
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
About 150 members of the Saudi Royal family have reportedly tested positive for the Coronavirus, which seems like a lot until you realize that there are 15,000 of them, so about 1%
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Good news: Total hospitalizations in NY rose by only 200 yesterday. Bad news: Because 799 beds were "freed" up
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you are American and fat, France's chief epidemiologist is deeply concerned about your future wellbeing. So stay off the cheese eating, no specific guidance on surrender or monkeys
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Just keep drinking and doing nothing else during the coronavirus lockdown, or be like these very imaginative Brooklyn roommates who have been creating elaborate photoshoots while in their isolation
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mountains of current food waste to soon be juxtaposed against the inevitable shortages to come
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Meticulous German COVID-19 testing and contact tracing has identified the origins of the Munich outbreak, but take that with a shaker of salt
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Arizona grandmother made headlines in 2016 after accidentally texting stranger about Thanksgiving and then invited him to her home, loses her husband to coronavirus
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Milk baths...FOR EVERYONE
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk includes Felt, The Vaselines, The Stranglers, and Howard Devoto. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #128. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(💩)
 
 
 
Shiat just got real. Unicode 14.0 and the new emoji for 2021 to be delayed due to Covid-19
source: blog.unicode.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the Vatican's chief exorcist who encountered the Devil 60,000 times over 30 years; pea soup noticeably absent
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientific advisers to UK government didn't call for lockdown because they didn't think the public would accept it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
No longer news: beer delivery. News: by someone dressed as Left Shark. Fark: someone who still says "biatchin" unironically
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Classical art, European politics, and Florida Man under quarantine are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 29 - April 4: House Arrest Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Look out, here comes the Spiderman
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Who knew so many Mongols lived in Moscow?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Annaghmakeown)
 
 
 
Irish language signage to put further strains on the local economy and intimidate the local residents
source: ulsterherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"It's basically like a mass casualty incident right now. It's almost a hopeless situation"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Reporters from Cleveland Plain Dealer told they can no longer cover A: Trump's press conferences? B: Child abuse cases? or C: Stories in Cleveland?
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Simulation shows how easily a cough can spread coronavirus. It's like the nuclear blast scene from Terminator 2
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hundreds of US newspapers face "extinction-level" crisis due to Covid-19
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After 3 nights in the ICU, Boris Johnson still refusing to get on the cart
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
If you are still around in 4 years and not living a live version of "The Walking Dead," then you've got this to look forward to. So there's that
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Publisher of hydroxychloroquine study that is being touted as proof says it doesn't actually pass muster as proof of anything and state that study was deeply flawed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Shouldn't car insurance be cheaper in these dark coronavirus times? You know, with so many fewer people driving on all the roads
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Manchester police had to shut down 660 parties last weekend as more and more people join Team Virus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Monkeys run riot as they reclaim the streets. I'm a believer. Article also includes pictures of dogs "rioting" in the streets for some reason
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Southern woman's lust for vodka sends her on vacuum rampage, and who made it past "woman's lust..." before clicking?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas legislature overrides governors order limiting religious services to no more than 10 people. State's top doctor unleashes a public shaming on lawmakers, forgetting that local politicians have no shame
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
More on the PPE seizures. In a nutshell: The feds have altered the deal. Pray they don't alter it any further
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after allegedly licking $1800 worth of items in Safeway grocery store
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Good news: Scientists create mutant enzyme that can break down plastic bottles in hours. Bad news: Scientists create mutant enzyme that can break down plastic bottles in hours
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bowser shuts down tennis courts, golf courses and limits food shopping. All part of his plan to kidnap Princess Peach, defeat Mario and conquer the Mushroom Kingdom
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sheep
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Got little to do? How to mine precious metals in your own home
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Yorkers make tiny work-from-home spaces bearable - even beautiful. Apparently by inserting models into each of them
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Let's follow up with those recovered COVID-19 patients in South Korea and see how they are dooOH CRAP
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
For nearly 15 years, patrons have been leaving their mark on a Georgia bar by writing on a dollar bill and stapling it on the walls and ceilings. This week the owner carefully pulled them all down and gave them to her workers
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
NYC was infected by a European Covid-19 strain, not an Asian one
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark's situation is even worse than we expected
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
With this Coronavirus thing all taken care of the Feds are shutting down testing sites. What can I say? You're welcome
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inforum)
 
 
 
What happens when industrialized food production meets a highly contagious global pandemic? We're about to find out
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Military News)
 
 
 
4th carrier hit with coronavirus. Time to watch Midway
source: americanmilitarynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Sewage in treatment plant has virus from 115,000 people compared to official count of 446 in service area. If we're ever going to beat this thing we need to stop going to the bathroom right now
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Due to the coronavirus, public transit around the country is now in a death spiral. Just when it's needed most
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A massive wave of asinine is coming
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Kansas legislature votes to to test Easter's resurrection powers as a COVID-19 treatment
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 779: "Free For All 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 08, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
First no toilet paper....now a potential bacon shortage
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If you accidentally threw out your wedding ring and garbage men have already picked up your trash and a coronavirus is going around, just let it go because.....well, nevermind
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Washington State students will not return to school this school year, in administrative decision that runs schools out of snow days until some time in 2078
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"It'll grow back"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Kentucky man whose sentence was commuted by former Governor Bevin arrested on federal child pornography charges
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drinking News Summary livestream rescheduled for tonight at 7pm eastern because it's that kind of day. Grab a libation and join us. Grab a TotalFark or BareFark sub while you're at it. Maybe shenanigans will happen -Drew
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
This woman wants you to send her a nude. To paint, that is, and then drop in the mail to a stranger (NSFW)
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Los Angeles finally finds a way to lower its crime rates. Sure it took a massive pandemic, but still
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Conspiracy trolls are increasingly twisting the coronavirus pandemic to bolster their warped world views, also to claim that the crisis is not real at all
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Yes and how is this a question?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
37 things that could only happen In Florida. Still true despite date of story. Farkers can probably add to that number
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man sets up front-yard wrestling ring for pandemic matches. Police respond
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
French aircraft carrier Charles De Gaulle surrenders to Coronavirus. This is a nice change of pace from the mechanical breakdowns that usually send it back to port early
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these heroes
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Dipshiats with more money than brains are using empty NYC streets for racing
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ow my balls
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would everyone please stop ordering balloons? (possible NSFW content on page)
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bridge collapse could be due to Italian coronavirus mutating into STEEL-DEVOURING ANDROMEDA STRAIN. That, or shiatty maintenance. Could be either, really
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Because there's nothing creepy about a group of clowns showing up outside your nursing home window
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Help, HELP)
 
 
 
Duke Energy, Florida Power & Light, and Gulf Power Co. plan to use savings from lower-than-expected fuel costs to lower utility bills so the lights should still be on when Florida man gets home from the unemployment office sometime next month
source: midfloridanewspapers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
No wonder the New England Patriots were so good at deflating balls
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
With nothing better to do, sexless couples on lock down rediscover the nasty. I'll be in my bunker
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"World's steepest street" loses title after rethink by Guinness, meaning the award now goes to Baldwin Street, which is the worst Baldwin street
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Subby works in a big office building. Employee in another department tested positive for COVID on 3/25. HR told some teams, but not all. Subby found out today via the news and decided to share it here on Fark
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Jesus' is back just in time for Easter, this time in a tree trying to lure gullible followers to their deaths (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Zoom CEO: Man, if I'd ever thought people would actually start using our crappy service, I might have spent a little bit of time thinking about, like, security and stuff
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Paramedic popped for coughing on store cashier
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
If only Burt Reynolds could have lived to see us inch closer to a real life Cannonball Run. Captain Chaos approves
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horseman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
A couple of bimbos have tested positive for Covid-19
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
What do you get when you cross two cars, a busy street, a roll of paper towels, and a naked woman? Wait... what?
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Subby shaved his head, should he call it "The Quarantine Coif" or "The Quarantine Cue"?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
R.I.P. Charlotte Figi, the brave little girl who inspired the Charlotte's Web CBD strain, has died from coronavirus
source: coloradosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
If we weren't on edge enough being locked down, the power company will set off the nuclear disaster sirens this morning
source: fox46charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
IHME model now says pre-August death toll projections from coronavirus will be down from 80,000+ to 60,000. Good news for at least 20,000 of you
source: covid19.healthdata.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Ammon Bundy: Coronavirus at me, bro
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
Ventilators may be overused for COVID-19 patients with low oxygen levels. Slight problem: noninvasive CPAP and BIPAP machines risk spewing virus all over the place
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ stores and supermarkets to start limiting customers to 50% of capacity. Which shouldn't be too hard as they won't be allowing customers without impossible-to-find face masks in the first place
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
UK launches new super stealthy 320ft nuclear submarine which can detect enemies as far away as NYC. Subby had no idea the Brits still have something against us Yanks (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Horse breeder tries to dunk on LA Times by pointing out how the newspaper tracked horse deaths at Santa Anita park but apparently hadn't tracked California deaths due to coronavirus, fails spectacularly
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Iran presses IMF for emergency Coronavirus funds, a position some find unbelievable
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Not all poRn stars wear capes: here's porn star Asa Akira donating *part* of her PornHub income to hospitals fighting the coronavirus (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania legislature preparing to reopen businesses because this Covid-19 thing seems to have run its course
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works." -Virginia Woolf. I wonder what my Batman slash fic says about me. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, secrets revealed edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So why ARE feds seizing masks and other coronavirus supplies from hospitals? No one seems to know
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Key word here is "admit"
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
This week's episode is a tad more serious than we'd like, with Todd living in the NYC hot zone. Still we manage to cover McDonalds workers becoming strippers, towns that think leaf blowers transmit covid, and what America 2.0 might look like
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
The Coronavirus outbreak may hurt Khan's political future, possibly leading to exile on Ceti Alpha V
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Your stimulus check could arrive this week, so give a heads up to your virtual hookers and blow suppliers
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"A small but important subset of people with the coronavirus also really hate puppies. That's what I keep thinking to myself as I see story after story linking various, so-called surprising symptoms to COVID-19"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
'Stop, disperse, and go home' New Jersey city will use drones to yell at people not social distancing
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Larry David loses steady gig
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
400,000 (confirmed) COVID-19 cases and daily death tolls at 6/11s per day
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Quarantined in your apartment? Just go fishing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Closed borders don't stop COVID-19 from spreading. But they do stop medical supplies from getting to the people who need them. So that's, like, half a success, right?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida residents show us why there's a Florida tag, risk getting coronavirus by lining up real tight to get paper applications for unemployment benefits as the state tries to fix problems with online filing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How adopting one of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's most important travel tips is helping Chinese factories fight off coronavirus
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
With humans in hiding, animals take back the world
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
New Coronavirus models show "only" 60,000 will die by August
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National Interest)
 
 
 
Iran has Photoshopped one of the world's most bizarre air forces
source: nationalinterest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"What's really important is that people don't turn these early signs of hope into releasing from the 30 days to stop the spread. If people start going out again and socially interacting, we could see a very acute second wave very early"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The U.S. postal service is normally a money-sink in good times. The pandemic has seen its business volume drop 60%, and it is a complete clusterf*ck now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
An investigation into the toilet paper shortage reveals most Americans aren't that charmin and are flush with greed, not the angel soft paragons of humanity one would expect from the northern hemisphere, hoping to get away scott-free iwth avarice
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tunnel-goer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Brighten your day with these hilariously accurate dog breed descriptions and add your own in the comments. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: static1.insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Unfortunately not news: Person breaks Coronavirus lockdown for selfish reasons. Fark: Perp is a 101 year-old woman in a German old people's home
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Doctors treating Boris Johnson vote that he Remain in ICU, still hopeful for coronavirus Crexit soon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What happened in Wisconsin today is "grave early warning for November". WTF are we going to do? Fark needs an "OUTRAGED" tag
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Border towns in New Jersey and West Virginia have been crowded with Pennsylvania residents leaving their state to buy liquor
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Thoughts and prayers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jack Dorsey to throw $1 billion into the Coronavirus fight
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
United's special COVID-19 refund policy: Too bad, so sad, bye bye. Passengers in response: "Unleash the lawyers"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
Weeners
 
"Naked man arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure." I guess the third time really is the charm
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Truckload of Jack Daniels stolen in southeast Atlanta
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Photo story showing what it's like to vote in a pandemic - Wisconsin style
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Coronavirus brings out the truth at last
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vail Daily)
 
 
 
The goggles, they do nothing..oh wait
source: vaildaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
34th-floor barbecue ignites major call to fire department, who advise occupier that it is never a good time, and especially not now, to light up a 34th-floor barbecue
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 07, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
New Jersey nurse raises over $12,000 with GoFundMe campaign to buy personal protective gear for her colleagues, so of course she's suspended by her hospital
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark is fundraising! I have a GIF party thread for that! You bring your best gifs, I'll bring the TotalFark and BareFark sponsorships! [Update: done for now.]
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Family hike close to home reveals stone crypt from 1850s. Or, as the kids call it, a "really cool fort" Move over, Creepy tag. The kids win this one
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
They would do anything (furlough), but they won't do that
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The world goes round a little sadder now. Rest in power, John Prine
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri COVID-19 cases to peak earlier and at lower numbers than previously predicted, indicating Gov. Parsons closed the barn door juuusst before the cows left
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Despite the coronavirus Meals on Wheels are still rolling. With just a few changes
source: khn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas food bank distributes canned peas, carrots, dry cereal, milk, bread, covid-19, bacon, eggs, and wait, back up a couple..... oh shiat
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Coronavirus deaths (582) in Louisiana (pop. 4.6 million) now outnumber coronavirus deaths (430) in California (pop. 39 million)
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Subby just bought the largest statue IN THE WORLD, and so I'm feeling pretty...oh, I've just been scammed, haven't I?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Long Beach Press-Telegram)
 
 
 
One mountain lion said "I laughed so hard over this court victory, I nearly puma pants"
source: presstelegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
America's latest crush is: A) Some hawt Instagram/YouTube influencer, B) Yet another strain of K-pop troupe, or C) A crusty 79 year old immunologist from Brooklyn
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vine examiner
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci warns that a scaled-down version of what we're experiencing could be the New Normal
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
First it was toilet paper, then paper towels, then flour, then food. Now Tylenol
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Pornographic Easter Eggs being delivered for free, with toilet paper & food. Sounds like a loot crate for these times to me
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hey ladies, want to get together? I'm germ free, won't be heading to the gym in 26 minutes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)