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Sun April 05, 2020
(Nature)
 
 
 
The planet has quit vibrating now that your mom ran out of batteries in lockdown
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
We're a bit short on hospital gowns because a Chinese supplier failed to sterilize them properly. Only nine million recalled, no biggy
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEZI Eugene)
 
 
 
Man in U-Haul parking lot throws firecracker at woman during dispute. What's the worst that could happen?
source: kezi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
Honeymooners stranded at luxury Maldives resort are the only guests there, but the entire staff has to be there until they leave, and the couple may be bankrupted by it
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
This pandemic may not kill you, but you'll likely end up fat, drunk, stoned and sexually perverted
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Attention Nursing Home Employees: The time to tell a dying woman's son that she tested positive for Coronavirus is BEFORE he spends 5 hours kissing her goodbye
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
While the governor sits around doing next to nothing, a furniture and appliance store in Missouri is now fabricating and distributing masks
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It's now dangerous to pet tigers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this allergy nightmare scene
source: kimberlywagner.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
You may be working from home, but you haven't got a superconducting computer in your living room
source: discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Coronials
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Forest fire near Chernobyl boosts radiation level. Great... plague AND mutants
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Let's Roll: COVID-19 Edition
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The best home-made mask and glove solutions versus the people of Walmart
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Marines have to choose between haircuts and social distancing in the age of Corona. Naturally they are choosing the haircuts
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The world just lost a LOT of base model Dodge Chargers
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
If you're going to blast sirens to signify your towns curfew, you might now want to be unfamiliar with the 'Purge' movies
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Why are men more likely to die of the coronavirus than women? I'm sure it's got nothing to do with the fact that subby is posting this while balancing on a metal ladder on one foot while changing a lightbulb in a thunderstorm
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WonderWall)
 
 
 
Dr. Drew apologizes for calling the COVID-19 reaction a "press-induced panic"
source: wonderwall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Astro Slide
source: i0.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome Fark Artists to ye Fartist Friday contest. This week's theme: Make a mask from things you have on hand. Difficulty: Don't use an existing mask to build on. LGT last week's Fartist contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Engineer (UK))
 
 
 
UK chemical CEO Jim Ratcliffe announced he was going to open a new factory in ten days to make hand sanitiser, and he'd supply the NHS for free. Well, it opened ahead of schedule and is already shipping
source: theengineer.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, Pocahontas married Rolfe. While the historical record does not say, we can assume Kermit and Miss Piggy were the best man and bridesmaid
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, about 93,000 crew members are still stuck onboard cruise ships ... what could possibly go wrong?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Most obvious of obvious headlines obviously makes it obvious what we have all known all along, obviously
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
"Going for a drive" is now illegal in PA
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
NY village bans leaf blowers to prevent virus, which won't be the dumbest thing you read today because it's still early
source: hudsonvalley.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cops break up Pink Floyd cover band lawn party. Suspects to be charged with violating quarantine and being a Pink Floyd cover band
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Won't someone think of those poor hikers on the Appalachian Trail during these terrible times?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Let's jump into Obama's time machine and take a look back from 2025 at COVID-19. Oh my
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Surgeon General of the United States shows how to make a face mask. In a cave. With a box of scraps
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"This five-star hotel is worse than jail." Says woman in fluffy white bath robe who wants cheese with her whine
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Unexpectedly running into someone you know
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Man dies in ATC accident. This is not a repeat from 1983
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Gators are pretty nasty already, and now they have drugs and guns?
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Master Italian shoe designer dies, as the coronavirus robs us of yet another beautiful sole
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Stay. The fark. Inside. What part of this are people still not getting?
source: amp.tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wisconsin hospitals decide that this nationwide quarantine is a great time to sue patients. Mr. Burns rubs his hands with glee
source: khn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Not that it matters. You're still not going to win
source: amp.kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
What is essential work in the pandemic? Do you know? Because no one in charge seems to have a clue
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Kids eat "Medicated Nerds" rope candy they obtained from food bank. What could go wrong?
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Off The Beaten Trax)
 
 
 
Our line up for Sunday 4/5 is: Women Who Rock- at 12a/3a, 6a/9a, 12n/3p and 6p/9p From Solo Beatles and some New York punk too tune in from 2a/5a, 8a/11a, 2p/5p, and 8p/11p Songs to Self Quarantine By at 4a/7a, 10a/1p, 4p/7p and 10p/1a
source: live365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
AWoooooooo
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Coronavirus + Black Lung, or why Appalachia is about to find out the hard way that voting for small government while working in a coal mine ends extremely badly for them
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Pics of home made face masks that probably only protect you from looking sane
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's not often you see a headline combination of oral sex, lady chemicals and coronavirus, but thanks to Pat Robertson here we are
source: thebiznews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You may soon be able to tell if that bad cold you had was really a mild form of Covid-19 without leaving your home
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
♬ Bottle of red, bottle of white / Let's drink to any news that's good tonight / At last there's slowing in amount / Of the Italian COVID count ♬
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 04, 2020
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
The real reason we aren't hearing more from people on the front line may be "Everybody is afraid of retaliation [from] administration." (tag is not for administration)
source: amp.kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Where's The Doctor when you need her?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Guess that answers the question of which one was evil
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India prepares for "onslaught" as one of its biggest slums reports first coronavirus death. To give you an idea of how big the Dharavi slum is, it has a population density almost 30 times greater than New York
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
The earliest surviving record of the F-word has been found in a National Library of Scotland vault. Like most things Scots say you can barely understand what "wan frkkit funling" means
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Christian pastors across the US vow to hold Palm Sunday services because they won't let Satan stop them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is Florida, so we would like to remind you to keep a distance of at least one alligator between yourself and others
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Comedy Gives Back Laugh Aid now live. Six hours of comedians doing comedy to raise money for other comedians out of work due to shutdowns. Donate if you can
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thursday: USS Comfort will only accept patients without Covid-19. Friday: Patients with Covid-19 transferred to USS Comfort by "mistake"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
About bloody time
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant kitty
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
If you've never seen a Tyrannosaurus Rex walking down the street, pulling a little red wagon, handing out free rolls of toilet paper, today's your lucky day. (with video goodness)
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
New York State is considering allowing out of state funeral directors to conduct funerals in the state without a license, because, well, there's kinda not enough in-state ones to go around at the moment
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci predicted this back in 2017
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As I walked out in the streets of Laredo / As I walked out into old Laredo town / I wasn't masked up so the cops did arrest me / and gave me a fine of up to a thou
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Since the US won't do it, China is donating ventilators to New York. Welcome to Costco, I love you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Huge feral hogs are invading Canada and their not sorry about it one bit
source: api.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"On second thought, maybe we were a tad bit hasty in how we dealt with Captain Crozier. Hmm... how can we save a little face here?"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in other news, Lori Loughlin is still an idiot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Historically, when unemployment surges, so does military recruitment. Yeah... about that historical trend
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouGov)
 
 
 
Poll: Are medical marijuana dispensaries an essential service during the COVID-19 outbreak? Most Americans say yes ...even Republicans
source: today.yougov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Her Majesty
source: i.kinja-img.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside World Soccer)
 
Weeners
 
Newcastle cult hero giving away millions of condoms amid global contraceptive shortage
source: insideworldsoccer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Listen up citizen, obey social distancing rules or you're off to Room 101
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Poll: Most Americans believe stopping the coronavirus is a larger priority than saving the economy. Suck it job creators
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwood Index-Journal)
 
 
 
Everyone has that coworker. You know the one. You know when she's coming. She loudly stomps as she marches across the floor to you. Then she stares at you and starts screaming, yes, screaming. About what is unclear. Come sympathize on Caturday
source: indexjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
196-foot section of the Berlin Wall that was saved for posterity is demolished to make way for A) a hospital B) homeless shelter C) expensive condos
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Hey, look at all those cars at the fairgrounds parking lot. Looks like people are getting out and doing fun things again now that... oh
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Colorado coronavirus skeptic... and you already know what happens next
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
That's not a pursuit. THIS is a pursuit
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AskMen)
 
 
 
Farkers can now claim to have been following a proud Finnish tradition for all these years
source: ca.askmen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Florida News-Press)
 
 
 
Southwest Florida International Airport has become a real hotspot
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Off The Beaten Trax)
 
 
 
On the menu today for 4-4 hear Lou Reed, Kiss, Alan Parsons, MC5, and other very cool songs from 12a/3a 6a/9a 12p/3p and 6p/9p, then The Dark 80's at 2a/5a, 8a/11a, 2p/5p, and 8p/11p and finally Power Pop at 4a/7a, 10a/1p, 4p/7p and 10p/1am. Thanks
source: live365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Blue shop towels are the next thing people will start hoarding
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sons of Stupidity
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Doing shots and eating pot brownies is fine at certain times. Before doing dental work on your patients generally isn't one of those times
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
US embassy in Japan suggests that American expatriates jump out of the test tube and into the petri dish
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sweden decided not to go on lockdown, let's see how they are... Øh mÿ, thïš ïš nöt løøkïng gøød
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 03, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Soylent Vert... EST FAIT DE PERSONNES
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Forget going to the lawyer store. The shelves are empty
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Snitches get...rewards? Are those rewards special pieces of thread that are used to close wounds?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Burglaries in Seattle increasing during stay-at-home order, prompting calls for a stop-farking-stealing-stuff order
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
British family's response to quarantine is not alcohol and bitterness
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Bad News Wrapped in Protein isn't just the name of my GG Allin mariachi cover band
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fu*cking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shiat DON'T F*CKING USE MY LAPTOP. Uh, until now
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
New York State is taking a huge step towards socialized health care: All of the hospitals will be merged into a single system
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama's closed. Noose out front shoulda told ya
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
So shines a good deed in a weary world: Brooklyn landlord Mario Salerno posts a notice to all 200 of his tenants: "Due to the recent pandemic of Coronavirus COVID-19 affecting all of us, please note I am waiving rent for the month for April"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Photoshop this eagle trainer
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"I'm having all sorts of problems with this bear in my yard." "Well, then, why are you putting food out for it?"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Time lapse of converting a convention center into a 4,000 bed hospital
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Do you WANT people catapulting the dead bodies of plague victims into your town? Because this is how you get people catapulting the dead bodies of plague victims into your town
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
We are saddened to announce that the coronavirus must continue to be quarantined in isolation with Boris Johnson
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
New music releases, famous and not-so-famous folks on social media, and quarantines in history are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 22-28: Actually Working At Home Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
One of the Baldwins test positive for Covid-19. No not that none. Or that one. Or that one. Or that one
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Now we have asshats setting up fake Covid 19 testing sites
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Bill Gates is spending billions to get a head start on producing COVID-19 vaccines, which would more than offset all those viruses spread by Windows
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kennedy curse takes a boating trip on Chesapeake Bay
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Covidiot of the Day jailed for wandering around hospital to witness impact of coronavirus pandemic and then posting about it on Facebook
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Insects. It's what's for brexit in the EU
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
One state spent $77 million creating an unemployment application website but apparently gave the contract to GeoCities: "no system we have can handle 25,000 people a day"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Detroit bus driver who had expressed anger about coughing passengers potentially spreading coronavirus gets to say I told you so from the great bus depot in the sky
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man arrested for hoarding medical supplies and selling for a 700% markup. Insulin manufacturers: ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
Having kids and COVID-19 at the same time? Please just send me to the gulag
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-flying Yankee
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Pissed that the government is only giving you a lousy $1200? Sure you are, and wait 'til you see what the Japanese government is giving all THEIR citizens
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Fauci tells Coach K we're not even at halftime in COVID fight. Subby hopes we don't end up in OT. Everyone agrees that Duke sucks
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Shipment of 300,000 N-95 masks from New England Patriots' plane en route to New York City with Massachusetts State Police as its escort. Patriots get Le'Veon Bell in return
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nobody expects the Spanish curve inflection
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
People stuck at home are adopting puppies in record numbers. That's just... nice
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Watchmen" proving more prophetic than usual
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan are back with a Friday Fark News roundup - all the news you need, some you don't. Link goes to video. Come for the Corona updates, stay for the giggling fox videos
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
Condo Karen calls cops on neighbor for: A) loud music, B) cooking smells, or C) running a CDC-compliant drive-through COVID-19 testing center in the parking lot?
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
So remember those stories of fathers catching their kids smoking, so they make them smoke a whole pack as punishment? It's like that, but replace the father with the NYPD, and smoking with "failing to social distance"
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Maan who owns severaal clinics in Mongoliaan caapitaal Ulaanbaataar tries to buy his country vaast quaantity of coronaavirus maasks. Turns out it waas aall aa complete scaam
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Apparently Americans are happy sitting at home and stuffing their faces with food and drinking booze, most say they'll keep staying home this month even if restrictions are lifted for the coronavirus
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Clarita Valley Signal)
 
 
 
Rim job leads to arrest
source: signalscv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Don't forget to take your daily dose of bridges that eat trucks. They say laughter is the best medicine
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in the Philippines, things have escalated quickly
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Hate your family, but stuck inside with them? Good news, the government is now telling families to observe social distancing. I call the room with the beer
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Dozens of journalism professors and working journalists sign open letter to Fox News owners saying network's coverage of coronavirus pandemic is a "danger to public health"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Paddleboarder arrested at Malibu Pier for flouting state stay at home order, with video goodness of boat chase and arrest
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Columbia)
 
 
 
U.S. COVID deaths is now twice as much as 9/11. That's right, 18/11 deaths
source: abccolumbia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Oh looky here, 100 smuggling 'ghost' ships suddenly appear off the coast of North Korea
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Todd takes the spotlight, describes living half a block from a field hospital in Central Park. Mobile morgue units, police-enforced social distancing, but also 7pm city-wide cheers for responders. Tales from the NYC hot zone
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Retail purchases of milk rose nearly 53% for the week ended March 21, butter sales surged more than 127% and cheese rose more than 84%. Today the Dairy Farmers of America tell farmers, "We need you to start dumping your milk"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some whack job)
 
 
 
COVID-19 could exacerbate problem-gambling online, and, due to online pornography, also increase problem-exacerbating
source: reverejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Once nice thing New Yorkers are discovering about social distancing: it is no longer considered rude to let the elevator doors slam in the face of someone rushing to catch it
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Colorado AG to Hobby Lobby: what part of nonessential business shutdown did you not understand?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Emergency room doctor from New Hampshire moves into his brother's building to battle the coronavirus in New York. His building co-op board shows they don't know the meaning of the word "co-op"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Guess what Michigan, Connecticut, Indiana, Georgia and Illinois,? Welcome to the coronavirus pandemic, you're next up to 'enjoy' the virus. Try to stay safe and avoid the reaper of souls
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
In a world class act of dumbassery, an Indian couple name their newborn twins Corona and Covid. Good luck making friends at school, kids
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"The Houston metro area had reported fewer than 950 confirmed coronavirus cases among its 9.3 million residents as of Monday. On that same day, there were 996 people hospitalized in the region with confirmed or suspected cases of COVID-19"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Anticipating advice for everybody to wear masks, stores stop selling them
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China bans eating pussy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Captain Brett Crosier cheered as he walks the plank from the USS Theodore Roosevelt for the last time (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Were you thinking about cannibal rats this morning? No? Well let's do something about that
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Federal inspectors revisit Kirkland Life Care Center and find that while "immediate jeopardy" problems were fixed, "substantial noncompliance" still remains. At least they still have 5 stars on Yelp
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Landlord accidentally creates mailing list for rent strike among 300 tenants. This is why you use Bcc, people. Well, that and avoiding Reply-All shiatstorms
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Off The Beaten Trax)
 
 
 
Our broadcast schedule for Friday 4/3-all times PST: Hear Underplayed songs and our remembrance of David Bowie at 12a, 6a, 12p, and 6p, From Heavy to punk-Underplayed Artists at 2a, 8a, 2p, and 8p, Bands You May Not Know-airs at 4a, 10a, 4p and 10pm
source: live365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picnic
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Oh look here are leaked notes from a meeting of Amazon brass including Jeff Bezos where they discussed a plan to smear the now-fired leader of the safety walk out ...BEFORE it even happened
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Remember when the president said the new rapid covid-19 test were, "a game changer"? You're not going to believe this, but Abbott Laboratories only have 5,500 tests ready, for the whole country
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Remember Robert Hyde, the Trump booster who said he had people surveilling the US Ambassador to Ukraine? He say he has 10 million surgical masks and is selling them. Fark needs a Grift tag
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
In the Army National Guard, you can...go to a nursing home and conduct mass testing because the nursing home was criminally negligent in their handling of COVID-19. Well that's gonna be hard to fit into their commercials
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Those Coronavirus models you're supposed to believe? Don't believe them
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The 1000 bed USS Comfort, docked in Manhattan to relieve overwhelmed NYC hospitals, has a whopping 20 patients aboard because it bars patients with numerous preexisting conditions
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Are you kidding, Donnie? We barely know how to wear pants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts reports 78 nursing homes are turning into funeral homes
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey, coastal Farkers here's something to take your mind off of the pandemic. It's time to download your hurricane apps, the 2020 predictions are out
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Murican Airlines flight with a mind-blowing 11 passengers does an even bigger mind-blowing act: made them all sit in the last 3 rows. Yes, paid upgrades were the only way any of them could move from the pack
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 02, 2020
(Medium)
 
 
 
The real reason that toilet paper is so scarce right now in these coronavirus times? Difficulty: Not other arsewipers, it's you
source: marker.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Venture Beat)
 
 
 
Mayo Clinic is hoping to kill fewer people with self-driving vehicles than have the coronavirus
source: venturebeat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australians design AI to fight coronavirus, relentlessly hunt down Sheila Connor
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Brits' loud-mouth soup purchases up 22%. Coronavirus binge-drinking trifecta complete
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
In Arizona, liberty, social contact trump the virus fight. How's that working out? Well, it's a dry stupid
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia grocery store receives anonymous cash donation from the community to help staff through the crisis, staff decides to pay it forward and use the money to buy groceries for senior citizens
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(czmilosz)
 
 
 
Fark Radio Hour - AKA Bytes Into The Void - WE'RE BACK edition requests taken in thread Starting - 9pm Central US/10pm Eastern
source: play.marginalband.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Interesting how quickly the US has gone from being the world's policeman to the world's black market trader
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pentecostal Chutch in Sacramento linked to 6 dozen coronavirus cases; Praise Jesus
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Break out the back trace tools boys, they done goofed
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A doctor in Pittsburgh who has been studying coronaviruses for decades publishes an article about having success in mice with a microneedle vaccine against COVID-19
source: upmc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
UCONN's Husky mascot visits closed Mystic Aquarium, looks like he might want fish instead of steak
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
Cuomo spends the night hallucinating, shivering, and beaten like a piñata. Difficulty level: not the pierced-nipple governor
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Story time tonight at 6 PM Pacific, 9 Eastern as your friendly neighborhood narrator Cyclometh reads some more Mark Twain directly into your earholes. Mix a drink, curl up on the sofa with the cat, and enjoy DIT
source: voxman.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Gay blood coming to a blood bank near you. But don't worry they can't have done any gay stuff for three months
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this runner
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WotC)
 
 
 
Wizards of the Coast made real-world monster promos for its new monster expansion set, including Spacegodzilla, wielder of...the death corona beam. Oops
source: magic.wizards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Can't wait to sell these on eBay for $1,000 each...whoops, pretend you didn't hear that
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Someone finally mashed up Trump's blame of Obama with that scene from Life of Brian that we've all been doing mentally anyway
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
News photo, capturing moment in time, not staged at all
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Of course it only took a couple days for someone to go and Florida up a virtual classroom
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
US marks first death of emergency room physician from COVID-19
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
So does wearing a mask REALLY help prevent coronavirus?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ask for help to save the crew on your aircraft carrier from COVID-19? You're fired
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Off The Beaten Trax)
 
 
 
Deep Trax from the Classic Rock Era. Hear bands, artists and songs classic rock radio won't play or even acknowledge. On the schedule today shows featuring our tribute to Walter Becker of Steely Dan, Artists Big In the UK and Songs to Self Quarantine
source: live365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
No importa, tuvimos sexo en una fotocabina durante el cierre de emergencia (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Snitches don't get coronavirus itches (at least it rhymes)
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
How is the Corona Virus going to hit rural America? Well Pennsylvania's Lehigh Valley has more deaths from Covid-19 than does Philadelphia
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Hello, thank you for calling online naked therapist. How can I help you in this time of crisis? (NSFWish)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
'Tampa woman self-isolating with rescue ducks' with bonus rescue duck in a duck wheelchair
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
EMT has car crash come to him. With "I really shouldn't have walked out the front door" video
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
College during coronavirus: A rapping professor, a cat in class, a demand that grades for the semester be pass/fail, pornography on Zoom ... wait, what?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bizarre pixelated Korean shopping mall
source: cdn.sanity.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The New York City neighborhood with the most cases of COVID-19 is... Corona
source: jacksonheightspost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
A million cases here, a million cases there, and soon you're talking about a real hoax
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
ABC News anchor George Snuffleupagus' big bird, actress Ali Wentworth , has the 'rona
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
In a blatant violation of NATO treaties, Turkey smashes trucker's windshield on I-35E
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
An Australian man has proudly spent his $750 stimulus payment on eight cases of Victoria Bitter. 'I'm as happy as a pig in mud.'
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Booze sales jump 55% during this coronavirus pandemic ..which can only mean those of us doing the shelter-at-home thing have our priorities straight
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan with today's Video News Update: Bringing you everything you need to know and some things you don't. Bonus: a new episode of the Cuomo Brothers just dropped - we've got the best bits. Also - don't mess with Louisville, you'll see why
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you've been trying to imagine ways that we could turn every hospital in America into a literal Thunderdome, Slate has a pretty good idea for consideration
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Food bloggers respond to the uproar started by Mindy Kaling telling them to just post the damn recipe without their life story attached to it: YOU WILL READ OUR LIFE STORIES AND ENJOY THEM AND SAVOR THEIR MEMORY WITH YOUR FOOD. GOOGLE COMMANDS IT
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
He kicked Tojo's ass, now he kicked Covid-19 ass
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Navy ship attempts to seize cruise ship by ramming it repeatedly. Since you're reading about it here, guess which ship sinks. Hint: Venezuelan Navy
source: bairdmaritime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
No symptoms? That's now one of the symptoms
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
104-year-old WWII veteran beats COVID-19, says he's "Good for a few more"
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The tables have been turned as Cuomo calls into Cumo's show. #NewYorkTough
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Canada has 'hair-freezing' contests, and it is quite a hair-raising experience
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/shoegaze/indie includes Alien Sex Fiend, Pylon, J&MC, and best of all, no Covid-19. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #127. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJDOT notices that cars are freely moving along during rush hour due to coronavirus, fixes the glitch
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but along with coronavirus, you also have a rare brain condition." "Well, at least I don't have coronavirus"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tiger King's Joe Exotic suggests Brad Pitt should play him on screen. Apparently he's not familiar with Danny McBride (link contains spoilers)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Caption this confrontation
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
'They see me rollin' Police find 192 rolls of toilet paper stashed in stolen SUV in Beverly Hills
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Health care workers warn us that we will be truly boned once the coming wave of coronavirus decimates their ranks
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
San Francisco bans those re-usable bags that they wanted everyone to start using
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
♫ If you have a heart attack (ack) (ack) (ack) (ack) in NYC, EMT may decide moving you to a hospital seems such a waste of time, that's what it's all about until coronavirus is moving out
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
HOA realizes it's not CDC, backs down on demanding members reveal COVID status
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate asks the question: Is the South ready for coronavirus? Oh, come on. We're talking about the region that gave us the Civil War, Katrina, and Atlanta being shut down by a quarter inch of snow. When has the South not been ready?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Fighting COVID-19 is like playing whack-a-mole. Subby won an oversized teddy bear playing whack-a-mole once, and is available to join Trump's pandemic team
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember all that hype over ventilators and will we have enough? Well the stats vary from "it might help some" to "they're all gonna die anyway"
source: physiciansweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Wife's hatred of COVID-19 equaled only by her love of fireball whiskey
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Jackson County to allow Bass Pro to remain open, but only to sell firearms and ammo'
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
♫ Crazy I'm crazy for feeling so lonely I'm crazy Crazy for feeling so blue ♫
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Cancer patient who was imprisoned for ordering THC-infused chocolate has his sentence commuted by Illinois's governor
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Let's look at the states that keep tempting fate and an outbreak by not issuing stay-at-home orders
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
5000. Please omit flowers
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cell phone data showing which Americans have complied with stay home orders vs those who kept traveling around looks like the Union vs the Confederacy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
"We don't have to have toilet paper labeled in English," Miller laughed. "We know how to use it"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Fortune cookie company donates 50,000 cookies to first responders. What fortunes would you put inside? Subby's are 'He who wears mask, coughs last' and 'A ventilator is in your future'
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The UK's shipment of coronavirus testing kids has been delayed because...wait for it...they've been contaminated with coronavirus. Those responsible have been sacked, etc
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rocket stage
source: cdn.arstechnica.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
HOAs gotta HOA
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mr. Trump considers some spots hot, he might ban travel, or he might not. If you'd go from spot to spot, it's OK if both spots are hot, and also if they both are not. But if one spot is hot and the other is not, if you go you might get shot. Great Scott
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Mommy bloggers horrified that their snowflake spawn are practicing CPR on their dollies and inventing games like "CoronaBall". Skipping vaccines because they contain chemicals still OK
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOX Las Cruces)
 
 
 
Doctor returns from trip, does not self-quarantine, then becomes seriously ill and throws up in the labor and delivery ward. Positive test result for COVID-19 was then withheld from hospital staff
source: kfoxtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hawaii 5-0oo$
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Ignoring sheltering instructions, man from Georgia is arrested in Vermont for selling cocaine. If you think that sounds pretty 1970s, wait until you catch his name
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Remember those Bugs Bunny cartoons, where a disgraced Mountie would have his uniform ripped apart piece by piece? Turns out, there's a PD in New Mexico that does that when they arrest one of their own [with video goodness]
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Flight Attendants Union: Bail out our employers to save our jobs. Feds: OK, but with conditions. Union: Your bail out will cost us our jobs
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Cops who arrested Stormy Daniels are now part of an even bigger bust
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL (UK))
 
 
 
Blimey, look at what the cat dragged in
source: aol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
What happens when QAnon runs the trains
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 778: "Apocalypse Now". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 01, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Tips on social distancing from a man who's the only resident of an abandoned silver mining town located at 10,000 feet in the Rocky Mountains. "Yeah, I mean this is no change for me"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Richest country in the world forces doctors to buy life saving equipment with their own salaries
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Med alert. All remaining NYC paramedics without coronavirus report to battle stations
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Proving once again that every cloud has a silver lining, UK dentists say the coronavirus could create a new edition of the Big Book of British Smiles
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Governor Cuomo's ex-girlfriend does not deny he has nipple rings
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite bridge returned to its original 11'8" truck killing height after fans express outrage over lack of new channel content
source: discoverdurham.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
"Detectives investigating the case indicated the stolen money was used for restaurants, vacations and payments to the Pittsburgh Pirates"
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's not all bad news NYC, alternate side of the street parking is suspended for another two weeks
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
Weeners
 
Some good news during these dark pandemic days: Police report "plague of unwanted nudity" is over as Cascade Flasher finally caught after over 20 years of flashing
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
CBC is running feel-good stories from before the Great Quarantine. Since this is Fark, you probably know where this is going. Warning : giant snow penis for anyone unlucky enough to still be at work
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK delivery drivers are being denied access to rest stop toilets over coronavirus fears, are being encouraged to run around and around until they're all pooped out
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Arborist uses bucket truck to safely visit mother on third floor of her nursing home. Management eyes attached wood chipper for body disposal
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Q: Where did April Fools Day come from? A: Aliens
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A man has died in hospital after he was crushed by a cow and a bullock on a Victorian farm. Always Mind the Bollocks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Modern Metropolis)
 
 
 
Photoshop this adorable sea slug
source: mymodernmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Great Depression: These are their stories. Watch and learn, what else are you gonna do?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Are people who aren't health care workers supposed to wear masks to ward off COVID-19, or not? Based upon the best available data, there's only one thing we know with certainty: Everybody thinks they're right
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Goodwill stores are closed. Unfortunately, people who donate items are not aware of this
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Philadelphia would also like idiots to quit shooting each other so that there's space for COVID sufferers
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
College student realizes one problem with everyone's masks, so she invents a mask for lip readers
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
During this COVID-19 crisis, Alabamians turn to spiritual guidance for comfort by overrunning liquor stores. Amen
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Teacher who briefly shared intense physical contact with student to be recognized for his action
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Legendary skateboarder Jeff Grosso bails for his last time
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Zantac to be pulled from shelves immediately. Your heartburn has heartburn
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Metro Detroit Amazon worker wants everyone to know that dildos are not essential items
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
O.J. Simpson convicted of murdering irony
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Trump tackles medical supply shortage by awarding ExxonMobil contract to drill for ventilators in Arctic
source: politics.theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Chet Americaman jubilant over announcement of incoming aid
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"The evidence of presymptomatic transmission in Singapore, in combination with evidence from other studies supports the likelihood that viral shedding can occur in the absence of symptoms and before symptom onset," says new CDC report
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida's new stay-at-home order preserve the rights of churchgoers to infect and be infected, thank god
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona reports 29 deaths, 1,413 cases statewide. But it's a dry cough
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
NewsFlash
 
Seamen to be released
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
200,000
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebecois to the Genie "I wish for a wall all around the great Quebec to keep us safe from threats like visitors from Ontario" Ontarian to the Genie "Okay, fill it with water"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Malaysia's anti-nagging campaign suspended due to excessive nagging
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gear
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(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Drew and Dallan livestreamed a quick summary of the state of the pandemic today, plus some lighter stuff at the end. Bonus: we remembered to save the video afterwards, url updated to said video
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(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
MAYOR: I don't think either of one you are familiar with our problems. HOOPER: I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
PPE, social distancing, 401 (k)'d, twerk from home. Learn all the new words from the quaranteens
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago's northern suburbs are clearly not following lockdown orders
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Strategic Command would like to remind you that if you're unhappy with the current apocalypse, they're still standing by with theirs
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Remember the 3-D printed masks that originated in Billings, Montana? Now they're being produced in 148 different countries around the world. Truly, necessity is the mother of invention
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Kalamazoo's first online city meeting goes more 8-chan and less pol tab
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
How to tell you're an unpopular freelance journalist. Step 1) News organizations use this file photo of you
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(Sky.com)
 
 
 
What's all this, then? Oh, you refuse to answer? Then choke on this 600 pound ticket
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dreaming of life returning to normal? If China is an indication, normal is a very long way away
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ice T with some solid advice about collecting debts
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(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Rural America now experiencing "disaster gentrification" thanks to wealthy urbanites who are treating it as a playground/vacation spot during the coronavirus pandemic
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Good news everyone - we're only 2 spots away from shutting up all our idiot "x kills y number more people a day than Covid-19" friends on Facebook
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(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis decides that, maybe, it's not such a good idea to let all the old people die from a plague by doing nothing
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(AP News)
 
 
 
Thanks to quarantines, extroverts are experiencing what introverts have to deal with the rest of the time. Stay tuned next week for the followup article on how introverts have come realize what they've been missing out on all these years
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
The sign on the door didn't say, "No Kentuckians" How was he supposed to know? Buried lede: Indiana has no hate crime laws
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
You might not want to get tested for coronavirus if you plan on calling 911 in the next few weeks
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Not April Fools, not The Onion: Tennessee Department of Health tells nurses to use diapers instead of masks
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(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
No end in sight for these Mickey Mouse restrictions
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Today's Lockdown Time-waster Episode: Eleven hours of a boat cruising the Telemark canal in Norway. Set to full-screen on a second monitor and enjoy
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(Vice)
 
 
 
Once optimistic pandemic expert wonders why she got things so wrong about the coronavirus: 'I just assumed that the US system would be a little bit better than China was able to do, and I just couldn't have been more wrong'
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(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
To be considered Hand Sanitizer, it has to come from the Sanitizer Region of northern France. Otherwise it's just alcoholic soap
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
"We're Silicon Valley, we can do things the rest of the world doesn't do," says area man about ludicrously overpriced, namesake underground station to be built in one of the least-dense downtowns in the country
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(Topeka Capital-Journal)
 
 
 
Kansas man accused of exaggerating nonexistent medical credentials to perform autopsies and swindle bereaved families sees opportunity in body count amassed by COVID-19
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(YouTube)
 
 
 
A public farkin' service announcement from Samuel L. Jackson
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
So those ventilators Elon Musk bought for a hospital to help with the Coronavirus oubreak? Turns out they're plain ol' CPAP machines
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
US intelligence officials privately confirm that China's coronavirus numbers are bullshiat
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Prisoners across country will be confined for 14 days to cut coronavirus spread." Well, where were they keeping these prisoners before, in an open field?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How's coronavirus testing in the California going? Not well - for private lab companies, it's going kinda like Lucy and Ethel working at the candy factory
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
70 students from the University of Texas at Austin chartered a plane to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, in late March, despite being told about nonessential travel. You guessed it, 28 of them have tested positive for coronavirus
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(Fark)
 
 
 
This is Last Post 1346, a thread where we harness the power of funny meme .gifs, digital OCD, and exponential growth to help Fark. DIT. LGT LP 1345
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(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Saudi officials: Let those snake-handling infidel Floridian dipshiats have their mass gatherings and tiger king incest spring break parties, we're putting the hajj on hold
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
It took a pandemic to help states ease alcohol sanctions
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(Live Science)
 
 
 
Let's hear stories from Farkers who had contracted COVID-19 or who have family who has. Tell us your first hand experiences and let us know if you know anyone who has succumbed to the virus
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Feel-good news of the day: No Indian over 93 has survived the coronavirus - until this guy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy to the crew of the USS Theodore Roosevelt: we need you to go ahead and stay on that boat
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Texas pastors demanding exemptions from math, physics, chemistry, and biology
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As it becomes increasingly clear that crowded jails are a hotspot for COVID-19, police in many localities are adopting a more hands-off approach to law enforcement. New Orleans: Don't care, jaywalked
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Coronavirus dating takes balls. Big balls. And a drone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has sparked the dawn of a new labor movement
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago's United Center is being used as a logistics hub for PP# supplies, and is starting to look like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
TF sponsorship/Save Fark fundraiser thread. Liters and sponsors hook up here
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(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
There is a hell
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Take It Easy: It's 8:19 and you're having your 3rd Quarantini... the article most of us need right now: how to keep your drinking in check
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(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Nevada's legal sex workers can't get unemployment because they're independent contractors and can't get federal aid because Washington doesn't believe in sex. Looks like they're screwed
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(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Photographers capture life in NYC during the pandemic
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(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
By the time you get your unemployment check you'll already be back to work
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
For April Fool's Day, my husband made me some brownies... pic in thread. It's your Bad Joke Thursday thread (LGN)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Americans, knowing that the world is ending, are cleaning out the booze aisle along with the TP and hand sanitizer
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for trying to infect Hawaii
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(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Today's Mad Libs headline: "Hempfield bicyclist with history of petty crimes charged with throwing traffic cone into creek"
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Magazine)
 
 
 
You're the man again, dog
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Don't worry, people said. It kills only the old and the sick"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
As everyone predicted, the true winners of the pandemic appear to be the divorce lawyers
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Where would we be without our suddenly thinner dogs who are getting a lot more weekday exercise and attention than they are used to?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox11 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Covid-19 might do to Ronald Reagan what John Hinckley didn't 39 years ago Sunday
source: foxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
18-wheeler crashes in North Texas, spilling billions of dollars onto I-20
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these "whiskey webs"
source: cdn.arstechnica.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Amidst stay-at-home orders this very good boy delivers groceries to a neighbor with COPD, making her day a little more Sunny. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, April Fool's Day Edition
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
European countries reject Chinese-made coronavirus testing kits and masks, finding their quality to be roughly that of a wet-market artisanal bat tartare stand
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
March in two pictures
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(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Single mom returns to paramedic job during COVID-19 pandemic to pay bills, keep roof over family's heads rather than stay with 5-year-old son in hospice care
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(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Cover up? What cover up?
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