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| Sun March 29, 2020 |
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Mercader projected to be media's first Coronavirus death
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Trumpville, NYC
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And we used to think spitting on convertibles was bad
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Four more weeks of coronavirus. Must have seen Fauci's shadow
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"We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it's like, it kills everything on them. We have the most sterile building in, I don't know, all of America"
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Photoshop this covered bridge
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Liberty University decided it was okay to reopen despite COVID-19 concerns. You can guess what happened next
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There are two types of people: John Prine fans, and people who haven't listened to John Prine's music yet. Every one of them should be pulling for him to beat huge health odds against COVID-19
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Not News: Man needs to collect ebay purchase. News: Man drives 200 miles during lockdown. Fark: His wife has to travel back home in the trunk because his purchase filled the seats
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Chicago still Chicago even in the midst of a pandemic
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| (Some Mayoral Guy) |
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Nobody: Do you know who I am? Clerk: No, but I know who you're not
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June's Detroit Auto-show has been cancelled as FEMA has commandeered the TCF Center to convert it into a Covid-19 field hospital. But sure, this thing's gonna be done by Easter and everything will be back to normal
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In Russia, lockdown goes under you
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Trucks deliver food to markets to help with shortages do they get A) Praised for their efforts? B) Cheered by hungry shoppers? or C) Booted and charged $3,000 for being in a tow-away zone?
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Photoshop some toppings for this pizza
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The Plague Doctor and the Unicorn, a fable of Isolation, Desolation and Chihuahuas. Bonus: it was made by one of our own, a most talented old-school Farker you might know as Hange Zoe/ Attack on Titan
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Unfortunately, it would appear that the "all clear" in Wuhan was just a tad premature
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Well, I was going to buy all the toilet paper in the store, but they were out already. So I did the next best thing and bought two dozen baby chickens instead. I mean you can't get coronavirus when you already have asthma from your animals, right?
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Spanish flu survivor does not survive the coronavirus. Okay, she's 108, but still
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Let's see how the country-wide shutdown is going in India
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Cards Against Humanity is now available for all to play online while we socially distance
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"Confirmed cases" is a "meaningless" number according to some "expert" who is a "professor of epidemiology" at some place called "Stanford University"
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Coronavirus cases in Florida are doubling every three days. Given the lag time between the appearance of symptoms, testing, and results, we're seeing where the epidemic was three weeks ago. bugsbunnysawingoffflorida.gif
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Mimsy and Throckmorton shan't hear of it
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At least your friendly neighborhood drug dealer is making a profit these days
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Minnesota state trooper protects and serves speeding doctor with N-95s on I-35
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Being stopped by the police is stressful enough. Then there's this guy
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Welcome Fark Artists to ye first ever Fartist Friday contest. This week's theme: MSPaint your pet or your dream pet. Come show us your skills (or lack thereof)
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Brooke Shields inconsolable
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Coronavirus survivors, America desperately needs your plasma now...your sweet sweet blood plasma to help others coronavirus patients survive
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New Jersey cops break up 47-person "Corona Party" going on in a 550-square-foot apartment during this coronavirus pandemic. "This is not a game"
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UK postal worker does his deliveries in costume to cheer his customers up. The picture of him in a frilly blue dress suggests a degree of flexibility in the definition of "cheer up"
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| (Oscar is social distancing) |
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As many of us are stuck inside, with time on our hands... let's add a Sesame Street character to a famous work of art. Link goes to an example
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CSB Sunday Morning: That time boredom struck and you chose poorly
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Rich people: "Let's hide from COVID-19 in our deluxe luxury underground doomsday bunkers and party all night. No germ could surely reach us." Edgar Allan Poe: "Somebody hold my raven"
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Has anybody seen Ecuador's largest waterfall? I could have sworn I left it right here
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Italy now descending into chaos and anarchy because of the coronavirus pandemic lockdown - people are saying they're at their limit after 20 days
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People escaping coronavirus infested cities find they're unwanted in the boonies, potenially straining limited healthcare. "Everyone worked hard for their second home and should not be punished for having one." Oh, and the Internet connection sucks
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In a moment of honesty Boris Johnson pretty much summed up the outcome of any of his decisions
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All prisoners now on death row
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Japan to build its own wall around the US and have America pay for it
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Yale gives away free Happy course, Sneezy course drawing widespread criticism
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Health officials recommend you self-isolate with no more than 20 concubines. That includes you, Thai King
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Activate Cheyenne Mountain
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Death #1 - Feb 29th. Death #1000 - Mar 25th. Death #2000 - Mar 28th. This is what exponential increase looks like. I can't think of anything snarky or funny after realizing that this is what it looks like to see an oncoming huge tsunami
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David Geffen just doing his part to be coronavirus free - from his zillion dollar yacht. What? You free marketers have a problem with that?
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Car infotainment centers more dangerous than drinking and driving. Nobody saw that coming
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If you are COVID-19 positive, please do Not fly. Especially not to Florida. We have our own problems
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| Sat March 28, 2020 |
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China has reported 3,299 Corona virus deaths, but is evidently dividing the cremated ashes of those people between 10,000s of urns. Seems legit. Nothing to see
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People may be social distancing from each other in Durham, North Carolina, but trucks and 12'4" bridges? Not so much
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| (Some Seattle Guy) |
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Seattle is not necessarily your city's future, but a likely version of your future if you do the right thing
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The people at the WHO doesn't know Drew or the average Farker very well
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Ontario announces it will target individuals and corporations with fines from $750 to $10 Million and jail time if caught price gouging the public
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Hey ladies, the internet says you don't have to wear a bra while working from home
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Your sneeze cone should be 26 feet
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Here's a heartwarming story about kids helping elderly people during the pandemic. But since this is Fark, look at the pic and see why we're all going to die
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Photoshop this majestic horse and rider
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St. Louis traffic cops are in quarantine. Gentlemen, start your engines
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Old and Busted: Don't wear masks you morons, they won't protect you. The New Hotness: Maybe everyone should wear masks, possibly protecting others from asymptomatic virus shedders
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Britain is invoking the wartime spirit to get through the coronavirus ordeal, and no one is more eager to get back to those days than thieves and black marketeers
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Guy sees cute girl dancing on roof across the street, sends his phone number over on a drone. They have a date via Facetime from their respective roofs. Then he takes it up a notch by seeing her in person...in a giant bubble. This dude has sick game
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CHP: Once, we were cops. Road warriors searching for a righteous cause. As the world fell, each of us in our own way was broken. It was hard to know who was more crazy. Us, or everyone else. Bay Area drivers: WE RIDE ETERNAL, SHINY AND CHROME
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Lights Out: Earth Hour will be online tonight. So tune in, turn off, and drop out
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Photoshop this odd little house
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So, about that "united" part of the "United States of America"
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Our brains can't handle the rapidity of Coronavirus
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Stay-at-home vs shelter-in-place: Here's what they mean
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The days blend into one another in a ceaseless, unchanging blur, each indistinguishable from the last. Memories of the before-times grow ever more indistinct. So...how are you passing the time?
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Kansas finally joins the civilized world, announces statewide stay-at-home order due to coronavirus pandemic
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A look at how Coronavirus will change our culture forever
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Russia claims they aren't having any kind of epidemic at all. But yet, they're shutting down everything. Things that make you go, hmmmm
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Rhode Island is going door to door to track down people from NYC who are not observing the 14 day quarantine
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Five. Five minute. Five minute COVID-19 test
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At least five of those University of Tampa spring breakers have come down with COVID-19. Where is your party now?
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Governor Ron DeSantis (R-Etreating) adds people arriving from Louisiana into quarantine along with those from New York, New Jersey, Connecticut. Only 45 states left, dude
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Student loan payments are suspended through September. Subby's $100,000 art degree is going to be worth it soon
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US Navy cancels 2020 Fleet Week in New York City because of COVID-19 pandemic. Funny, mass transmission of diseases never stopped it before
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| (Some Guy) |
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Think you won't be getting a stimulus payment because you made more than $75,000? You could be wrong. Use this handy stimulus calculator to figure what your stimulus payment will be. (You'll need to know your AGI from 2018 or 2019)
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Photoshop this rocky vista
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This is what community looks like in time of COVID-19
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Just what we needed: law enforcement impersonators "just trying to help out" during shutdown
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| (lomabeat.com) |
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Cat man is not kitten around on Caturday
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NYU students: "We want a refund on our tuition fees." Dean:" Let me show you the dance of my people"
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This is how the zombie apocalypse begins
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| (Some Guy) |
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Delta is now giving free round-trip flights for medical volunteers going to Georgia, Louisiana and Michigan
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United CEO six days ago: "We need a bailout or we'll be forced to lay off employees". United CEO today: "Thanks for the bailout, we're still going to lay off those employees"
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| (Imperial College of London) |
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COVID-19 scientists predict it'll peak in 100 days if we do nothing. 150 days if we all stay home, with 3/4 fewer deaths (PDF)
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First cat infected with COVID-19. Welp, this wasn't the Caturday I expected
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Cellphone "heat map" shows just how much people are still traveling around the US spreading the coronavirus love
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He survived. This guy
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| Fri March 27, 2020 |
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High school wrestler breaches social distancing to stop a kidnapping
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Both US aircraft carriers in the Pacific are out of action due to Corona outbreaks, leaving China free to do whatever they want. Sleep tight
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ICE detainee kept imprisoned in the air
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What does the Fox say? Turns out it's You're Fired
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Ralph Lauren will start making medical masks and gowns, to the relief of posh, skeletally thin nurses and doctors everywhere
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What's up (with that), Doc?
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Top 10 worst vacation destinations this year. Only 10? Seems like all of them should be in a tie
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Today's Corona-cabin fever domestic dispute has a little bit of everything. Five kids, two idiot parents, one shot fired, one panic attack, a "Come at me bro", one bitten deputy sheriff, one pepper sprayed dog, and a "Do you know who I am?"
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The world is going to hell in a hand-basket. What else could go wrong? Indonesian volcano: "HEY EVERYONE, WHAT'S GOING ON UP HERE?"
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2020 Part II: The Tornadoing
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Since Germans have proven to have strongest immunity to coronavirus, they welcome Italian patients, pizza
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Granny involved in heroin-for-meth deal. No word if toilet paper was going to be the player to be named later
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America has stopped wearing pants
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Let the grifting begin: Some jackass bought a hospital, closed it down, and now wants to charge the city of Philadelphia $31k/A DAY to use it to treat COVID-19 patients in critical conditions
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As if NYC didn't have enough problems already, there may be a firebug running loose on the subways
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Jerry Falwell Jr. had better hope that none of his students catch the Coronavirus and dies, because his decision to re-open campus is not merely negligent, but reckless, which means the wrongful death suit could involve punitive damages
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Photoshop this youngster on the ropes
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Asshat goes for drunken ride, learns he can be charged with violating a stay-at-home order along with his DUI
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This one time at virtual band camp I played with 500 other county school musicians
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Bad news about that American Airlines flight attendant who went to the hospital. ▪ The hospital? What is it? ▪ It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now
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A 19th-century solution to social distancing: a 6-foot hoop skirt
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When Argentina offers to do something NICE for the Falklands, you know it's serious
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♩ Well, our hive is gone, I've lost my bees.♩ Chickens is asleep in the willow trees. ♩ The cow is in the water, past her knees. ♩ 85,000 and rising...♩
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Trump orders GM to stop making shiatty cars and start making shiatty ventilators
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"So basically I'm just going to be stoned out of my gourd for the duration of quarantine? Dope"
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We're not using this airport for planes; how about a Coronavirus corpse storage area?
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In anticlimactic news, the world's top condom producer is forced to shut down, as staff shortages left them overstretched
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Drew and Dallan are back with the mostly daily Fark livestream beta that still needs a name. All the news you need, some of the news you don't. Come get informed - but not too much informed because the last 3 stories are about boobies mostly
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Looks like you been missing a lot of work lately. We know because we bought some spy-ware to keep an eye on those working remotely
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Photoshop this jogger
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Duke sucks the coronavirus out of the mask
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Don't write coronavirus off as "just a blue state problem" -- red state death rates are actually slightly higher, even with less testing, and they are at an earlier point in their epidemic curves
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In these trying times of social isolation, there's one activity that can help bring us all together: Laughing at the asshats who are now being forced to walk back their tough-guy, "coronavirus is no big deal" pronouncements from only a few weeks ago
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Federal Reserve study: delaying a return to work helps rather than hurts the economy. Possibly because delaying means there are people alive to eventually return. Crazy talk, I know
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While you're chilling out at home, about a hundred scientists and their support staff are now trapped on a boat in the Arctic for at least the next six weeks because all borders are closed due to coronavirus. Enjoy your chilling
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Hoarder discusses the psychology of hoarding TP. TLDR- it's a security blanket in times of anxiety
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Vacation cruise becomes ghost ship cruise
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New York Times publishes Coronavirus database. No funny headline. No paywall
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Residents of uppity Chicago suburb Naperville don't think the shelter-in-place rules apply to them
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House passes the two trillion dollar relief bill, sending it on to Trump where he will glorify himself before signing it into law
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About Italy flattening the curve
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Daily Fail warns of the risks associated with not wearing a bra while working from home
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This article about guns shops being classified as essential businesses is why the 'Murica tag was invented
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Yeah, I'll have a #1 with a Coke and a apple pie, oh and by the way you're class Valedictorian
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San Francisco dogs and cats are happy to have their owners home. So are nearby coyotes who always wanted to visit an urban jungle
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"I'm an economist and I am gruesomely comfortable with putting a value on a life ... [but] if you don't save those lives, you might have even worse economic performance"
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Mother of missing kids bought wedding ring on Amazon before her new husband's previous wife died
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Subs thought we could all use a laugh. This video is Brian William's "Rapper's Delight." In the comments will be the video of interview between Williams and Fallon. Please watch both and enjoy the laughs
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| (Some Guy) |
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For those going nuts at home, how about a virtual trip to the zoo?
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'Kalamazoo-wide singalong combats isolation' Difficulty: Journey
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Caption this online ordering mistake
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India sticks with what it knows best in order to combat coronavirus - set up call centers
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Not even Florida man will fall for a fake government virus relief check this early
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The rich have already fled New York City. The rest of you must stay put to contain the outbreak and ensure that their evacuation was not in vain
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You might have missed it, but earlier this week the FBI shot a guy who was trying to bomb a hospital in order to disrupt then right against Covid-19. He might not be the only one out there with this plan
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The real cause of the pandemic? Evangelicals
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21-year-old posts video about how she's not taking COVID-19 seriously. If you're reading this on Fark, you already know what happens next
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There's not actually a shortage of toilet paper. You people are just morons
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🚫🤪
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Man jailed over 300 days for building a shed without a permit asks for home detention because of Coronavirus concerns. Judge doubles down leaving him imprisoned until the Coronavirus is gone
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Two Victorians who died of COVID-19 revealed as cancer patients. No word yet on why they were still alive from that age
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Remember PG&E's $4 million fine for manslaughter? The company is deducting it from payments to victims
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Americans agree: shoot the messenger
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Photoshop this disinfecter
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How are you all staying alive? This Farker is dancing to keep in shape. When this social distancing thing is over, moves will be busted. LGT moves
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Wear contact lenses? You probably should switch to glasses because of that virus thing going around
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While they were still pretending there was no problem, China ordered a Chinese government-backed company to pillage Australia's supplies of masks, hand sanitizer, and antibacterial wipes and ship them to China
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Bishop says Catholics can eat meat during Lent because we are sacrificing enough for coronavirus
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Woman rides the "Charging Bull" statue in NYC. Bonus: Naked (NSFW)
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A tiny ray of light during these dark times
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He's always been a very positive bloke
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I tell you what this means, Norm -- No size restrictions and screw the limit
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This is why we need the Defense Production Act used - now is not the time to wait for a 40% off coupon
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Thought anti-vaxxers would see the error of their ways with the pandemic? You sweet summer child. They have coronavirus conspiracy theories now
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Trump claims Andrew Cuomo is lying about the need for ventilators in New York to make him look bad. Subby can't figure out how to even try to make this funny
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"I think it all boils down to Mardi Gras"
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You'd best start believin' in pandemic horror stories, Gov. DeSantis: You're in one
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Let's check in and see what the Best Ex-President has to say
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| (The Green Goblin) |
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Spider Man, Spider Man robs a restaurant as fast as he can
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| Thu March 26, 2020 |
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You know how that one annoying coworker doesn't know how "reply all" works? This is a similar type of email snafu, except people will die
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Like its German neighbors, the Netherlands have got a handle on the COVID19 outbreak. Still, no cure for windmill cancer
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Virus or no virus, rent is due next week. Y'all got 401k's, right? Start withdrawing
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Goodbye Gen Z. Welcome 'Generation C'
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Old & stale: cruise ships harboring coronavirus. New hotness: Carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt harboring coronavirus, 5000+ seamen samples to be tested
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Mexico building a wall to keep Americans out. Says America will pay for it
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'On Tuesday, Jacqueline Miller put on her "protective suit," an inflatable dinosaur costume and medical gloves, to deliver seed starter kits to her neighbors and friends.'
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"Of course, pet adoption isn't necessarily an activity you should undertake explicitly to get free alcohol"
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You're already stoned, just mute the meeting and head over to the Grand Canyon of Mars. Whoa, dude
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| (Some Guy) |
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Settle in with your favorite beverage and a warm blanket for short stories tonight told by pro storyteller and Farker Cyclometh. 6 PM Pacific, 9 PM Eastern. Tonight: Selected pieces by Mark Twain
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Christian "Musical Evangelist" dies of mass hysteria
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Photoshop this NYC dancer
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Cruise lines may be left off stimulus bill. I think I speak for most when I say meh?
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The hero we need. But not the one we deserve
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America has officially lost 500,000 of its millionaires to the coronavirus pandemic. No, they haven't died -- they're just not millionaires anymore. Which is, of course, worse. Do you see, old people, why you need to sacrifice yourselves?
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If you had Dick Kovacevich, the former CEO and chairman of Wells Fargo, as the first to unironically quote Lord Farquaad, please step up and claim your prize
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Mayor Gabe Brown of Walton, KY has a message for his citizens, and for the rest of us too
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Lawyer urges saving the economy over protecting those who are 'not productive' from the coronavirus. Some tried to educate him, others invited him to go first, a few offered to help him leave this mortal coil (tag is for those who set him straight)
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Tractor-trailer spills hundreds of rolls of toilet paper along Interstate. Is immediately cleaned up by local shoppers
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Attention profiteers, hoarders, and people too lazy to use soap: Purell is not proven to actually prevent COVID-19 and other infections
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Almost 200,000 Floridians live in nursing homes, so far, at least 33 have tested positive. GovernoR, what say you? *Crickets* GovernoR? *CRICKETS*
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One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer: This is America dammit, we're in a crisis over here
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More people are now under official lockdown across the planet than there were people alive during World War 2 (possible nsfw content on page)
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The moose had not been an issue until he took a dip in someone's pool
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Non-emergency VA employees asked their managers if they could work from home to avoid pandemic. You can probably guess the whole story from there
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Florida Man goes all Florida Man .... First I'm going to blow-up the Police Station, then the 7-11 and then maybe the car wash down the street, I think
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U-S-A. U-S-A. We're number one. We're number one
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Get your hot, Dr. Fauci doughnuts while they last
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Your woofday/caturday crossover: Rescue dog becomes a hero after saving cat stuck in hole
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Doctors treating covid-19 patients are writing their own wills
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Man who makes role-playing games criticizes map for being too "unrealistic." Difficulty: Map of New Orleans
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| (Some Guy) |
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How to drink alone at home responsibly: A primer for non-Farkers
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Photoshop these beach chairs
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Landlords to first responder tenants: Thanks for putting yourselves on the line to help save people from COVID-19, now GTFO
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What it's like to fly these days
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'Most photographed' Wall Street trader reveals he has coronavirus, has 'never felt so sick in my life'. With pic of what a most photographed Wall Street trader might look like
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Man tries to make recreational drugs great again by printing Donald Trump's face and name on MDMA tablets
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1000
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Subby is struggling to write a headline for this through the tears
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The coronavirus pandemic is helping Nextdoor evolve from a social platform of white boomers worried that a brown guy is walking down their street to a social platform of quarantined people wanting to narc on their non-social-distancing peers
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You know that college student who sent out a picture of herself licking a toilet seat on an airplane? Well, she has learned her lesson. Just kidding, she has doubled down. Dumbass tag and Fail tag fight each other
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_________ has been deadliest day in reported coronavirus deaths in US is the new evergreen headline
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Gas prices fell to 99 cents for the first time since the 1990s. It's kind of amazing
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Something that may not have happened in the lifetime of anybody living in the NYC metropolitan area: Air 22% less polluted than the same time the year before
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Number of COVID-19 cases tops 510,000 worldwide
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Alabama Lt. Gov. Whitmire defies his boss and his party, produces a PSA asking Alabama residents to protect themselves and their loved ones and demanding the Alabama COVID-19 task force do its damned job
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Don't feel so bad about yourself having to self-isolate in these coronavirus times, some people are having a worse quarantine than you
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Subby is 100% convinced he and is friends will be the ones who won't get infected
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List of Amazon warehouses hit by coronavirus, for those of you who want COVID PRIME
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They can take our freedom, but they can never take our lesbian cheerleader porn. Wait, they can? Well, Fark
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| (Some New Wave Guy) |
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On this week's serving of 80's post-punk, new wave, goth, and shoegazy goodness, we have no idea but we promise it will be awesome. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #126. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Hospital comes up with FDA approved 3D-printable device and software that allows a single ventilator to be used on four patients at the same time... and is giving away the source code and plans for free
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Dammit will someone PLEASE step up and take one for the world team, there's a Playboy star now trapped in coronavirus lockdown in London who needs a 'sexual partner' to kill time with (NSFW)
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As blood supplies plunge, gay men still aren't allowed to donate
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Australia bans hair appointments longer than 30 minutes, rescinds order after backlash
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Drew's beta run for daily livestream news update - come for the news, stay for the excellent shirt
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Most doctors agree that shooting yourself in the groin does not protect against the virus, though it will get room at a crowded hospital
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China's factories to its workers: "Welcome back. You're fired"
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In case you didn't realize how farked we are: New York requests 85 refrigerated trucks for guess what
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So many people have joined the Folding@Home collective to understand the structure of the coronavirus that the performance has reached 1.5 ExaFLOPS, higher than any supercomputer ever built
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U.S. charges Maduro with narco-terrorism, apparently having forgotten all about Purdue Pharma
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Just topped a thousand dead people as nutcases say, hey what's the big deal? People die all the time. We need to get back to making money. Besides, these people wanted to die so that they no longer take up space. They are terrible earners
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Next up on the Apocalypse checklist: One World Government
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Dyson literally goes from suck to blow
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"Rudderless, blindsided, lethargic, and uncoordinated, America has mishandled the COVID-19 crisis to a substantially worse degree than what every health expert I've spoken with had feared"
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Hobby Lobby said Jesus told them to stay open, so now they are cutting workers' pay and denying them all sick leave just like Jesus would do
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"We just don't know. The numbers are grossly under-reported. I know for a fact that we've had three deaths in one county where only one is listed on the website"
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Toilet licking moron is now wasting valuable hospital space after testing positive for COVID-19
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Soldiers around the world are getting a new mission: Enforce coronovirus lockdowns. No, the ones in your neighborhood won't look like those Spanish guys in that picture
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On the brighter side, fewer Floridians to be struck by trains as a result of COVID
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NJ Gov.: NYC is the "canary in the coal mine" and that canary ain't looking to good right now, and all of NJ is right there in the mine with it
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Neighbors use RC car to drive beer to each other to maintain social distancing. Ignore the brand
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Calculate how much money from the Coronavirus Stimulus you will get. For example, under this plan the Duggars instantly become millionaires
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Spanish police forced to play bad 'orgy' cops after randy revellers try to organise a drug-fuelled orgy during coronavirus lockdown
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Daily Mail says this woman going to the supermarket in a zorb ball is just a prank, but offers no evidence to prove this. Subby now doubts existence of pranks
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New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo blasts New Yorkers who crowded into Prospect Park over the weekend. Wait until he sees what's going on in Central Park
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Woman 'who the police know to be a chronic problem in the community' purposely coughed on $35,000 worth of supermarket food
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To add to the "This is the most farked up timeline" pile of idiocy - Cincinnati doctors & EMTs face up to 70% pay cut "if their productivity has 'declined significantly' ". Because you know, having you out in a tent screening people can't be billed
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Photoshop this old church
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Hundreds of Aussie backpackers attend huge Bondi Beach party after ignoring coronavirus warning. Welp this being Australia you pretty much know how this is going to end
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Stay at home orders may impact cougar behavior
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Here's something you can do if you have too much time on your hands during the pandemic
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"Nobody" knows why the federal government stiffed Michigan on 226,498 facemasks. I bet someone knows why
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Fark NotNewsletter: Update on where our awesome, snarky Fark community stands today
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| (Some Guy) |
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Lest we forget: On this week in 1973, a fan runs onto stage and bites Lou Reed right in the ass. "The US seems to breed real animals"
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Rand Paul:"I did not quarantine while awaiting my coronavirus test because I did not even meet the current criteria for being tested, much less quarantined"
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2020 Atlantic hurricane season expected to have 'above-normal' tropical activity because why the hell not?
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Sometimes it pays to be a prepper. Difficulty, National Cathedral, tag is for the head stonemason
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You know that "miracle" drug Trump won't shut up about? Turns out not giving the drug is more effective than giving the drug. Followup tag in quarantine, Fail is social distancing, and can't use facepalm because DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE
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Last Week Secretary of Defense Mark Esper offered to let military labs test civilians for the coronavirus. The labs swung into action and since then have tested 00,000 people
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Longest held American hostage declared dead in Iranian custody
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Turkish prosecutors saw into Saudi Royal family, formally charge 20 suspects in the killing of Jamal Khashoggi
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A lengthy look back to how Los Angeles dealt with shutdown from the influenza outbreak in 1918. This article touches more bases than the Dodgers' lineup does, and is pretty timely too
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Apocalypse Checks for all
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How would you like more time alone in your own private Idaho
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 777: "Quarantined". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed March 25, 2020 |
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Local organizations are mandating curfews and social distancing because of government inaction. FARK - drug cartels
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Subby, a physician, just got his N95 mask today and it is supposed to last through the entire pandemic. In the meantime ICE just ordered 45,000 N95 masks for the approximately 5,000 agents working on the southern border
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20 years ago, NSYNC sang a prescient song called Digital Sex, perfect for the present situation. Subby bets your mom remembers
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Your next online meeting is still an hour away so gather the family around and live-stream the Northern Lights. Everybody's happy
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| (Some Guy) |
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When quarantined, the Italians started singing on balconies. Kansas City started chugging beer
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Thomas Edison once said, "There is only one Fort Myers in the United States, and there are 90 million people who are going to find it out," but he didn't predict what percentage of them would get infected as his historic home continues to operate
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While Trump has been figuring out what "per capita" means, California Gov. Gavin Newsom negotiated with four major banks to suspend mortgage payments for those impacted by coronavirus
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That alleged theft of COVID-19 test kits? It was a false positive
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"Egg prices are skyrocketing" writes dude who apparently has a secret connection where you can still buy eggs
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Can a divided America come together, step up and sacrifice for this war on coronavirus?
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New Jersey ranks in the top 5 states for social distancing And that was before coronavirus
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Photoshop this water from the rock
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A 75 year dream has finally come true. Drivers will no longer have to pay cash to drive on the NJ Turnpike or Garden State Parkway. Of course there's a catch
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Germany has fewer COVID-19 deaths because its national government did not prevent local governments from testing people
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Super bored? Here's 10 hours of paint drying to get your adrenaline pumping
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"Hola, señor comerciante. Por favor, venda a mi perro algunos Cheetos, del tipo naranja, no de los rojos, están demasiado calientes. Tiene $20 en su collar. ADVERTENCIA: Morderá si no se trata bien. Su vecino del frente". (pics)
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| (A Berklee Dad) |
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Talented kids from Berklee College of Music create a video mashup of many voices and instruments doing Jackie DeShannon's classic "What the World Needs Now"
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Doctors at at least one US hospital debate following a universal do-not-resuscitate order for coronavirus patients in order to prevent infecting themselves
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Coronavirus is a media hoax
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Tampa mayor issues stay-at-home order for city residents. Still not expected to slow down Fark's 'Florida' submissions
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Here's a list of journalists who can explain the coronavirus pandemic better than most. Check out what they're saying
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Italian priest accidentally live streams mass with Facebook AR filters active, causing him to appear in various disguises. Cartoon hilarity ensues
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Coronavirus, coronavirus, and, unfortunately, more coronavirus are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 15-21: Late Night TV Host Cribs Edition
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Somebody called the cops on an adult boutique that was offering curbside service during Illinois' coronavirus shutdown
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Possibly some goodish news from New York
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Good news New Yorkers if you need some fresh air but want to avoid crowds because of the coronavirus, drop by Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, which has extended its visiting hours. Who knows, you may even get there sooner than later
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Photoshop these ice cream shop patrons
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"Crime wave of coronavirus-related incidents have surfaced across the UK with brazen thieves stealing food supplies from the elderly and police officers being 'coughed at' in the street as the country continues to battle the pandemic"
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A homeless combat vet had his Epiphone Les Paul destroyed by another homeless person. Guitar Youtuber Jared Dines got word, and, the video tells the rest of the story
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Hogan reports majority of COVID-19 cases in Maryland are people in their 40s. In related story, Schultz reports he knows nothing...NOTHING
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Police reportedly ticketed her for a mooooving violation
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Los Angeles will shut off power and water to non-essential businesses that won't close
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Here comes the second wave
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"Knucklehead" charged with terroristic threats, harassment and obstruction after coughing on a supermarket employee and telling her he had coronavirus. The things people will do to not use their own toilet paper
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January 2020: Ban plastic shopping bags. March 2020: Ban reusable shopping bags. Facepalm after careful hand washing
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NYC is about two days away from just stacking bodies like cord-wood in Central Park
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How is the USA dealing with the coronavirus outbreak you ask? Depends on which one of the two "US of A"s you're talking about?
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She made Cambridge give Oxford their comma. Run-on sentences run away from her in fear. She once diagrammed a sentence so brutally, the next paragraph wept. She is the is the most fearsome editor on Fark, and this is your Fark Writer's Thread
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Florida man doesn't understand why anyone would need so much toilet paper 'unless you have a really big butt.'
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Queer Zoom Sex Party? Just make sure your background is appropriate
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If you defy your area's coronavirus lockdown, you could get A: Arrested? B: Sick? or C: Eaten by crocodiles?
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Continuing in the spirit of keeping our spirits up during the coronapocalypse, one of Fark's favorite crushes, Danica McKellar, has some inspiring words for us
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Everybody wants a coronavirus mask, just not like this (possible nsfw content on page)
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Archaeologists of the future will identify us by our moms' basements
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In a move that's sure to not bite them in the ass, Indians are chasing doctors out of town because they fear Corona spread
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COVID comes for Cheetos
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The viral viral video Walmart guy is arrested and found to be non-viral
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Meet Joe Exotic: an openly gay polygamist tiger wrangler-turned-felon singing country songs. Truly a voice for our times
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Here's a good idea: don't hide in a farking dumpster on trash pickup day
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Out of desperation, NYU medical school offers early graduation to medical students so they can start treating coronavirus patients
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Mike Huckabee on on Waffle House closings: "God help us all, the end is near"
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Man licks deodorants at Walmart, posts on social media, given third Degree. Bravo. Very Suave
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'Cacophony of coughing': Inside NYC's virus-besieged ERs
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Caption these two Guardsmen
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Protip: If you see people wearing masks, they're probably doing it to protect you so there's no reason to go pointing guns at them. With mugshot goodness
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Fiery Manhole Explosion unrelated to Taco Bell for once
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Have you ever been to Pennsylvania?
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I never thought a leopard would come for MY school
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Bored student thinks there isn't enough misery in the world during these coronavirus times, spends her quarantine time messaging her exes about 'where it all went wrong'
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Is rivers running red as blood the sixth or seventh plague?
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Can't find eggs at the supermarket? Just get some chickens like Tom Holland. With pics of Tom Holland holding chickens
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| (GoodSAM) |
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UK Farkers: If you hadn't heard, the NHS is asking for volunteers for a variety of roles. The initial target of 250k registrants has already been met, but if you're able-bodied and available, please consider helping
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Get down with the shutdown because it's the least bad option and the 'choose economy' folks look a lot like leopards
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Fark COVID-19 Prepper/Survival Thread: Help other farkers out with support, snark, survival/coping information, and links to goods/resources for those in need
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The weird histories of four common household items. Did you know the fork was originally used to lift dead animals to one's mouth?
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Quarantined porn stars admit to having to fine tune their naughty bits with 'lots of masturbating' in coronavirus lockdown (possible nsfw content on page)
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Video of blue whale sneezing and blasting overhead research drone with salvo of snot, leaving lens covered with the prints of whales
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Beachcombers can find little treasures now and then. Of course, sometimes, something big comes along
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The Army's 3rd U.S. Infantry Regiment, known as the Old Guard, continues to watch over the Tomb of the Unknown Solider 24/7/365. "For us, it doesn't matter if it's a hurricane, or if it's the coronavirus. We are always here, we are always guarding"
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Nothing to fear New Yorkers, don't worry about that makeshift morgue outside Bellevue Hospital being built by the military
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Won't someone think of the poor divorce attorneys who have received a 50 percent rise in inquiries from potential clients since couples have been forced to stay home with each other
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Photoshop this lineman
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Kratu the rescue dog says I did it my way at retirement agility run at Crufts, just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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Your GPS tracker is being used to show how well social distancing is going in your state, a virtual report card on who's behaving and who's not
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Prince Charles finally gets his corona-ation
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Malaysia's medical glove factories, which supply most of the world, are operating at half capacity just when they're most needed. That's bad. It's also an industry rife with labour abuses. That's also bad. There's no free frogurt
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The USS Roosevelt, reporting for duty *cough*
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| (Some Guy) |
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