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Sun March 22, 2020
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
In every crisis, there are helpers. And then there are folks who steal ambulances outside the hospital
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Welcome to your neighborhood COVID-19 drive-thru testing cent-- aaannnndd it ran out of everything and closed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Number of Ohioans diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus expected to skyrocket tomorrow
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Australian state premier: Shut. Down. Everything. But not the liquor stores. This is Australia, mate
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
When bringing an inmate into a jail intake area, make sure his cuffs are tight. Also make sure he doesn't have a gun
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hello muddah, hello faddah. Coronavirus has reached *cough* Grenada
source: stlucianewsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Photoshop one of these instruments into a different setting
source: img.buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Creationist theme park owner: Yes a boy did die at my park, but until then, the family had a great time. Fark: Not Ken Ham or TBN's Holy Land Experience
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Ken Burns says history is NOT repeating itself with Coronavirus, refuses to deny he's putting together an exhaustive 20-hour documentary on it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you had Louisiana as the next state to lock down, step forward and claim your case of Corona
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tom's Hardware)
 
 
 
People band together to donate their unused computer processing power to beat COVID-19 and all of the people doing this is more powerful the world's top 7 supercomputers... combined
source: tomshardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Rule 34 is in full effect as searches for 'corona porn' spike on Pornhub. Funny, I thought folks would prefer PornMD (SFW, not that it matters)
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this action figure
source: cdn11.bigcommerce.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Michigan: To hell with the '50 or less' maximum capacity order. Church up, peoples
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Everyone: We need to solve respirator shortage. University of MacGyver: Hold my keg
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Nashville, go ahead and turn off those alarm clocks tomorrow as well
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Welcome back from Spring Break. Here's your ventilator, dumbass
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tasmania: "We've got a moat, and we're not afraid to use it"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Buy Gold" scammers are now telling the rubes federal law allows banks to take your money if they need it. FDIC: STFU - that's not remotely true
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Caption this sunlit salutation
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Florida asks for and receives 100% of its coronavirus supplies, while New Jersey receives only 6% of asked-for supplies. Now what makes Florida so very special, one wonders
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This just in: snails REALLY REALLY love to get it on (not safe for work language)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Worst timeline strikes again: 5.4 Earthquake hits Zagreb Croatia causing widespread damage to buildings and forcing most of the population out into the streets ... and good luck holding the quarantine
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oh, you may think you look "environmentally responsible" drinking coffee from your reusable cup & nibbling on kale salad, but when things start to go Apocalypty, you're going to be fighting over Oreos & Spam like a Scottish Berzerker
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Oh dear. I've just caught fire
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia shuts down their pubs. If there was ever a sign of the end times, this is it
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With people hoarding TP and Purell maybe we need a reminder to think about others. Let's create some rationing posters like they had in WWII. LGT example
source: rlv.zcache.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Stories of the Helpers
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NY City officials: "Now might not be the best time for orgies"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Trump's chloroquine fixation leads to multiple self-administered overdoses overseas, where a few people have apparently yet to learn they can't trust a word out of his mouth
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How is it Russia has fewer Coronavirus patients than Luxembourg?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Here's Dr. Dena Grayson with a great talk on the current state of testing, medications, keeping safe and many other real facts about Covid-19
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(vancouver is awesome dot com)
 
 
 
British Columbia couple brings up a trailer and cleans out a supermarket's meat section. Naturally, people are pissed, eh
source: vancouverisawesome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Two weeks into the nationwide lockdown and Italy sees its Coronavirus deaths skyrocket
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Converting school gyms into hospital wards is obviously a sensible thing to do. But the tag really gets across how it makes me feel
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The crisis could last 18 long, insane months
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
It's getting crazy out here
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you thought Gamestop's reasoning for keeping their stores open was nuts, Hobby Lobby owner David Green says "hold my religious artifact I bought from ISIS"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you're feeling upset at the emergency measures in your state, take a look at this comparison between TN and Kentucky? Alright when did KY become competent
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Seattle Target store: We have TONS of N95 masks on sale, buy yours today before they run out. Governor Inslee: Absolutely not, turn those over immediately
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is coming for your produce
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 21, 2020
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Man charged with terrorism for spreading false information about Coronavirus. Difficulty: Not Trump
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How to become the last state in the U.S. to get a coronavirus patient. Step 1: Try not to test anyone. Step 2: Lose any tests that get sent in. Step 3: Get praise by Trump for doing such a good job
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
Rich Russians are hoarding ventilators. Poor Russians: the system screws you
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
FDA approves test that provides coronavirus results in 45 minutes, or the medical care is free
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
Real Americans have actually taken up the plight of Fark basement dwellers and are rapidly answering the call to isolate and prepare for the forthcoming coronavirus apocalypse
source: news.gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sea glass
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
When even the College of Naturopathic Physicians says your snake oil is useless, it's time to reflect on your life choices
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You can sleep in on Monday, New Jersey
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada's Northwest Territories ban all non-essential travel from the rest of Canada, as if living in NWT wasn't isolating enough
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Missionary group decides the last uncontacted tribes in the Amazon shouldn't miss out on the coronavirus fun
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Cats, dominoes and a video cam. How to get through social distancing
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sky view
source: images.squarespace-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Russian guy blows up a washing machine with fireworks. This has absolutely nothing to do with anything going on right now, but that's kind of the point
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
If you were planning on flying out New York City today, we have some bad news for you [Update: Ground stop lifted]
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNYC)
 
Audio
 
The prepper movement was not prepared for the pandemic
source: wnycstudios.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for felony theft of toilet paper from hotel
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sanitized Guy)
 
 
 
And once again, the damn Dutch
source: 9gag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Red Cross)
 
 
 
We all need to take care of each other, so after fighting the marauding hoards for TP and sanitizer, before you turn your warwag toward home and take off the chaps, stop by the Red Cross to donate as their supply is getting critically low
source: redcross.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Eunice Yoon, CNBC correspondent in Beijing, who has been there since before the outbreak started, shares thoughts on how to deal with being in a locked down state, the mental stress, and wants you to know "It gets better"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
*spittake*
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
More frightening than COVID-19 may be DKE-19, and there is little hope of a cure
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Darien Times)
 
 
 
Apparently we need to gather the pitchforks and torches for this NIMBY wealthy Connecticut town that has forced drive-through coronavirus testing to be canceled
source: darientimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
North Korea contributes to steep rise in sea levels
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
Deaconess Hospital in Evansville, Indiana is asking its community to help mitigate their mask shortage by making and donating CDC-compliant masks per the video linked in this here article. Ask your local healthcare facilities if they want your help
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your stockpiling priority was 552 cans of Mountain Dew, C Darwin Esq looks forward to making your acquaintance in the very near future
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Can't make your mortgage payments because you're out of work? Good news (maybe)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Xer)
 
 
 
Gen X is leading the pack at dealing with the Coronavirus. Proving a childhood of being ignored by your absentee parents teaches you not only how to handle isolation, but also to entertain and fend for yourself. Lowered expectations is the key
source: parade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Subby IS coronavirus)
 
 
 
As we all settle in for the long haul, let's play tennis with a coronavirus
source: cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Here is the Google coronavirus website President Trump announced last week, and...well...let's just say a picture of a squirrel with big nuts holding a sign that says "wash your hands" would have been better
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Lots of kittens will need someone to hold them while they eat their feet and show off their belly buttons on Caturday
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Do you have a penis? I'm afraid I have terrible news
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nebraska hospital is sterilizing one-use surgical masks for reuse
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
In today's panic news, a Maserati-driving robber tries to knock over a local discount grocery store for paper towels
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Only the rich get COVID-19 tests. New hotness: The rich try to reserve hospital beds
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Trump declares NY a disaster area. Knicks fans nod knowingly
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
I wanna talk to SAMSON
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
If you picked Florida for the first fatal coronavirus argument between roommates, collect your pr...wait, what? Ann Arbor??
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Brace for a bad news weekend: NYC hospitals are already starting to go full Italy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Kenny Rogers has finally folded his last hand at age 81
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
DeSantis opens up golf cart drive up coronavirus test facility in The Villages. Std tests soon to follow
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Help us Obama-Care enrollment, you're our only hope
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
So all non-essential businesses are to close in New York. Liquor stores are considered essential. Hero tag to the state employee who made that decision. Cheers
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
California, the Thurston Howell III of states. Marooned but doing it in style
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 20, 2020
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Detroit
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
This pandemic is brought to by the letters C, V, D, and the number 19
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Former Commander of the Special Forces William McRaven with the inspirational message you didn't know you needed today: "Make no mistake about it, we will prevail, because the only thing more contagious than a virus is hope"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
I for one welcome our flying french-speaking anti-virus drone overlords (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Now doctors, after a long day of looking at naked people for a living, can go home and look at naked people for free (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Choose Your Own Disaster Movie™
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Yeah, that'll show 'em
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Rush Township, PA police would like you to know that they will pick up your medication from the drug store or bring you food if you are stuck in your house
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Lou Dobbs goes on hiatus for a self-quarantine due to... you guessed it, liberal hoax
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
He's Santa Claus, Tom Hanks, and the midday summer sun, all rolled into one. Shaquille O'Neal is what the world needs now
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch the Sandhill Cranes land tonight
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
While this won't necessarily affect any Farkers, it seems stores are running out of exercise equipment as people are stuck at home
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
One-third of lower 48 states risk severe flooding this Spring, presumably from flushing all those butt-wipes down the toilet
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Now, THAT'S how you use a drone
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Yes, I'd like an order of fajitas and two margaritas to go please
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Narrator)
 
 
 
TFarker and Narrator Cyclometh reads further selections from Asimov's I, ROBOT tonight at 6 PM Pacific, 9 PM Eastern. Links to live streams will be posted in thread and in the page linked to the left
source: voxman.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Landlord drops rent to $100 for next months rent. Tells tenants to spend the difference at local businesses. This is how it's done
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Into the Mystic: I don't know about you but beauty & light from the darkness sounds pretty good right now. Go ahead take a look or Fark off to the Pol tab, I tried
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this French building
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth in the TP aisle of a Walmart
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
We may never know how many people died in China. But 15 million dropped their cell phone service in the last two months
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
In some cases, no amount of social distancing will help
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Are you supposed to tip a restaurant that sells toilet paper for pickup along with food is a question I can't believe is relevant this week but here we are
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One plus to the coronavirus pandemic: all your sins are forgiven if you're Catholic. The rest of you heathens are doomed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Man who faked having coronavirus complete with fake doctor's letter and got his company shut down for five days now faces charges that will isolate him for far longer
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Great Plains SPCA doing 'bad pet drawings' fundraiser/subject of future photoshop contest
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Good news for Aussie school students, you will not have napalm dropped on you from above resulting in a fiery death due to coronavirus. Oh, NAPLAN
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, the answer to the biggest question we have during the Coronavirus Pandemic: Is it safe to hook up with lots of partners? No
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Do the Coronavirus tests actually work? Maybe....maybe not
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Welcome to your new world, here's some experts to explain how Coronavirus will permanently change it
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Your tits and teeth can wait until this is all over
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mar-A-NoGo
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Coronavirus - the everything summary 2: Hammer time
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Old and busted: putting sneeze guards over the salad bar. The new hotness: putting sneeze guards over the cashiers at Hy-Vee
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Strip club offering drive-thru shows and "nude hand sanitizer wrestling." Rare noble-stripper trifecta now in play
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
"We were all kind of yelling through the car door, the car windows"
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sex robot manufacturer RealDoll now selling 'anti-bacterial' dolls for those in self-isolation due to the coronavirus. Heroes indeed (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bulwark)
 
 
 
Twitter may be able to help save us from coronavirus. I know, God forbid
source: thebulwark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these boxes
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama sees spike in domestic violence calls since home quarantines started
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Everyone needs to go out and get sh*tload of pennies
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Survival rate for severe COVID-19 victims put on ventilators: 3%. PSA: get medical care advance directives and wills done now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it's sort of looking like many of the men who use Grindr for regular hookups aren't behaving all that responsibly when it comes to the Coronavirus
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man mistakes pregnant woman for someone obviously trying to smuggle more coronavirus into the US. (with 'Eeeeeyup' mugshot goodness)
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've gotten a sex and name change, started working as a waitress at a Thai place and doing ID theft as a side gig
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: Best alcohol delivery services to stay well-stocked while quarantining
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Coronavirus, we don't have time for that eh. This here is a national crises you hosers
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Here's a message from a nurse who just finished a 48-hour shift from dealing with the coronavirus pandemic and tried to go buy food afterwards
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
How one elite New York medical provider got its patients coronavirus tests. I'm guessing money
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Compassionate Landlord of the Year has no sympathy for his COVID-19 affected tenants, but forgets about the internet
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
The Coronavirus timeline just gets weirder. Thieves steal $12K worth of Dippin' Dots ice-cream from storage unit. Hell reportedly cooling and celebrating with ice cream
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
PA considers beer distributors a "life-sustaining business"
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LA tells homeless people to go home. Judge tries to figure out what that means
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
That's a piss-poor way to treat someone trying to help you, right Florida Man?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
♩"Well well hello, Dolly. Well hello, Dolly. It's so nice to have you back where you belong. ♩ You're looking swell Dolly, we can tell Dolly, You're still glowin', you're still crowin', You're still goin' strong". ♩ "EEEE EEEEE EEEAAAK click click"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Out-of-work strippers launch coronavirus food delivery service called "Boober-Eats" to help vulnerable people in self-isolation. Bless them for they are truly doing god's work (NSFW, but you're stuck at home anyway, so who's going to complain? The cat?)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"I have to hunt the Pokémon", claims man found wandering streets in Italy playing Pokemon Go while whole country is locked down
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
How to safely get high in the midst of a respiratory pandemic
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you can't pay your rent or mortgage, here are some options other than more internal screaming
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fish tank drug, now cleared for coronavirus testing on humans, selling for big dollars on Ebay. Also keeps down the algae
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This is NYC, STFU and take that shiat back to Italy
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Idiot YouTube prankster licks NYC subway pole for those sweet viral coronavirus clicks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Hospitals are finally getting experience what their patients go through on an average visit
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Canceled - C.A.N.C.E.L.E.D. - verb - past tense - to decide or announce that (a planned event) will not take place
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
In the biggest PR disaster to hit Manhattan, Kansas, since EcoKat, county commissioner says COVID-19 isn't a problem because there aren't many Chinese people there
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
If kids are out of school indefinitely, why is New York City still using speed cameras in school zones?
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago-area strip club tried to operate during the Coronavirus outbreak but no customers showed up
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A Guinness-loving miniature pony was "devastated" after the coronavirus led to the cancellation of his boozy birthday party at the local pub. Please, won't somebody think of the ponies?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
When we recorded this episode Monday night Todd's story about evacuating his kids and dogs out of Manhattan last weekend seemed like a bit much, but just four days later looks that was a great call. Also Drew goes over new marching orders for Fark
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Second dog in Hong Kong tests positive for coronavirus, no cur on the horizon
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
99 cent gasoline is here, but it is in Kentucky
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you needed one, here's another reason why you shouldn't eat bats
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
There would be plenty of groceries if people stopped buying them
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Inhaling pollutants directly into your respiratory system hundreds of times a day might exacerbate the dangers of COVID-19
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Because this timeline doesn't suck enough, COVID-19 Fraud Task Forces are necessary
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma nurse fired for wearing protective mask while putting in an IV because it would scare patients. You know what scares patients even more? Dying
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Ransomware bandits are promising to lay off health organizations for the moment. Call it professional courtesy or maybe it's just that one virus knows it can't overcome the other one
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
The pot panic buying continues. Because how else are you going to get through this much streaming television while trapped at home
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
'That's like leaving 2 bricks of gold in your car'
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Good news: whisky could kill the coronavirus. Bad news: drinking it won't work
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Pickles, steaks and 4,000 eggs: How Portland restaurants gave away thousands of pounds of food overnight. Cool Hand Luke still hungry
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
You just got into an auto accident. Do you A: Call the police? B: Exchange insurance information? or C: Get naked? Difficulty: Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Oh geez, not another one: Mystery disease kills gang of 'insane' monkeys terrorizing Indian villages. "A cause is still to be determined after one of the crazed monkeys bit an official" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
California has two important numbers for us: 8 weeks and 56%
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
COVID stops spread of lung cancer
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Olympic torch at the start of its journey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Deerfield testicle festival on hold. Oh balls
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ohio man, 55, describes having Coronavirus: "On a scale of 1 to 10 the pain was 15. The pain is off the charts. Everything hurts, nose, toes and ears. I was like one big ball of pain"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
In response to the coronavirus crisis, Washington state's lieutenant governor leaves for the priesthood. He did not see that coming
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Here's another reason why smoking is bad for you
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wow, I didn't know anyone could have a set of balls this large
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Where's Waldo: 2020 Edition
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has already won. Our only hope now is to isolate ourselves for another year. WaPo has dropped paywall
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KITV Honolulu)
 
 
 
Hawaii public school teachers file formal complaint over order from state Education Superintendent Christina Kishimoto to return to work Monday to empty classrooms during dangerous pandemic
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Insight)
 
 
 
Simply Having A Wonderful Quarantine
source: radioinsight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
File under A for "About Farking Time": Grocery store workers in Minnesota now classified as emergency workers
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nope, not going to run a coronavirus home school. Kids are watching TV, playing video games and eating cookies. And that is fine
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Man hijacks city bus, leading to a joyless ride around the Metro
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Valley Central)
 
 
 
Whelp, no more going to Mexico to stock up on bleach, toilet paper, valium, and Fabuloso
source: valleycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
$34,927.43 : the cost to survive the virus in a non-socialist Murica if you're uninsured, like 27 million americans. Clearly that price tag will encourage other non-insured people to go get treated before infecting hundreds more
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump can't build a wall, and Ireland won't pay for it
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Drill, baby, drill
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
First Powell's closes and will probably never re-open. Now all the McMenamins pubs and theaters and hotels. Portland just isn't going to be Portland anymore
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In the new "No Parties Allowed" Japan, cherry blossoms are going unviewed this year, as citizens ponder the impermanence of life in slightly more direct fashion
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHL Tri-Cities)
 
 
 
Farkworthy lede: "The best part of waking up is probably not Folgers on the road"
source: wjhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 19, 2020
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Coronavirus pushes California unemployment claims to 80,000 in a day. I was one of them
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
So what happens when the air traffic controllers are out sick?
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Governor Wolf of Pennsylvania huffs and puffs and officially orders the closure of 'non-life sustaining businesses' statewide starting at 8pm tonight
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has made it acceptable to gather on old people's lawns
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University of Southampton)
 
 
 
"The research also found that if interventions in [China] could have been conducted one week, two weeks, or three weeks earlier, cases could have been reduced by 66 percent, 86 percent and 95 percent respectively"
source: southampton.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Aussie family sailing the world on yacht stranded at sea by coronavirus pandemic. Don't know if that's a good thing or bad in these world shutdown times
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(State of California)
 
NewsFlash
 
Dear Entire State of California: You can go ahead and stay up late tonight
source: covid19.ca.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Who would have EVER thought that pot sales would increase because everyone is working from home thanks to the Coronavirus. Thanks for that astute observation, analyst at Bank of America
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Social distancing never sounded so good
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Your friendly neighborhood Farker Cyclometh will be reading selections from Isaac Asimov's I, ROBOT this evening at 6 PM Pacific/9 PM Eastern for your quarantine entertainment. Link goes to Twitch stream, other services in thread once stream is live
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
People have become defensive about their hangovers, because they don't want people to think they actually have the coronavirus
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Containment? What containment? Virus is coming back in Taiwan, Hong Kong and Singapore
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
Do COVID19 survivors have immunity against reinfection? Maybe for a little while
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
F1 teams planning to supply ventilators, including pit crews who can hook them up to a patient in 1.427 seconds
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
BREAKING: London's water pipes (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this office worker enjoying a nice fireside email or two
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How about some "Awful Music and Incohe-rant Talk" to take your mind off that virus thing? Join us for Bomb Shelter Radio, hosted by a Farker. LGT to listening instructions, Slack channel, and Javascript Hunt The Wumpus. 8PM US/Eastern Time
source: bomb.shelter.radio.am   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Great-gran, 105, doesn't let the coronavirus pandemic bring her down so she turns herself on with boozy birthday at pub and sex shop (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Bar owner wants to help employees out of work after coronavirus shuts him down, realizes he can sell his sealed alcohol bottles to walk-ups and use the money to give his workers interest-free loans
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Headline: "Preliminary 2.7-magnitude quake jolts Lakeside" Reality: Nobody in California gets out of bed for less than a magnitude 5
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Bruins fan wanders into Boston Mayor's COVID19 press conference
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Strange days indeed, most peculiar Mama: C'mon you know you want it: the toilet paper calculator
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WILX Michigan)
 
 
 
AP map confirms coronavirus has hit the world so hard that French Guiana has annexed Corsica
source: wilx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
EU commissioner asks Netflix to switch all streaming to standard definition so the series of tubes doesn't get clogged
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Breaker, breaker, one nine. Thirteen rest stops now opening in PA to allow the highway heroes a place to stretch, nap, and text home while supplying our nation
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brave NYC doctors and nurses show other New Yorkers what they're made of, 1,000 of them enlist to battle coronavirus in one day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
With empty shelves in the supermarkets Subby has one question, is John Lithgow a time traveler sent here to warn us?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Have you considered that the Coronavirus pandemic has so far failed to introduce enough new, stupid, but trendy terms into our collective language that the media will repeat and amplify ad nauseum? Well, worry no more. Exhibit 1: "panicgogy"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Two guys busted for smashing through a brick wall with sledgehammers in an attempt to steal 40 laptops. Subby tried to come up with a funnier headline, but those mugshots stopped him cold
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In other news, people were actually considering travelling abroad
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Italian carmakers Ferrari and Fiat Chrysler are in talks with the nation's biggest ventilator manufacturer to help to boost production. Great now we'll have ventilators that are overpriced and will break down daily
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If you're looking for a distraction from the pandemic, fellow Farker Adam Savage is building a model Ecto One out of random stuff he has lying around at his shop - live now
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Will the coronavirus cause a baby boom? No
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boxcar Willie)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rails
source: ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Apartment Therapy)
 
 
 
Before the Great Bathroom Tissue Crisis of 2020, do you remember colored TP? Sounds racist
source: apartmenttherapy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jim Bakker is selling "medicinal seed" so you can grow plants to "make your own medicine" for a Gift of $99. Gift? So you can write it off on your taxes and keep Grandpa away from Fox News at the same time?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson stocks up on TP for his number 10 bunker. Subby keeps his in his number 2 bunker
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Fapafapfap... no, that's not right. Fapavirfap... sigh, that's not it. Okay, some Japanese drug that sounds like your favorite hobby might be effective against Coronavirus
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Government jobs.com)
 
 
 
Unemployed? Not receiving unemployment insurance? Perhaps you'd like to take this temporary job at Unemployment, processing applications for unemployment insurance
source: governmentjobs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Jobless claims are going to dwarf the height of the 2008 recession starting... now? Uh oh
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Anyone who had Newfoundland as a world leader in COVID-19 response, come collect your bottle of screech. Since there's probably only one of you, don't forget to kiss the cod on the way out
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
French authorities: Listen. Whatever you do, DO NOT take Ibuprofen if you think you're infected with COVID19. Medical experts: Say what now?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Latest way COVID-19 might kill you: the Juice
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This Sydney man has us all beat when it comes to hoarding the toilet paper, he's had a shed of it for over 40 years. At least he's donating it
source: 9now.nine.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
We were warned. They're flooding across the border without papers
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Remember when something fishy started happening? Let's go back a lifetime ago - January 1st - to when Fark ran its first coronavirus story
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Warning: do not buy medical face masks from scam sites like prestige-ameritech.com, their masks are bogus copies. Instead, don't buy medical face masks from the real prestigeameritech.com, because they ran out of them long ago
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A little something we Farkers to cling to that isn't a whiskey bottle, TV remote, or increasingly alarmed house pet: 23 pieces of positive news regarding COVID-1
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Eli Lily goes all in, will begin offering same-day CV19 testing for free. (restrictions apply)
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
No doubt FEMA has been on top of everything, and keeping us up to date on all coronavirus-related news which helps the public. FEMA: "We're doing what now?"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University of Virginia)
 
 
 
Historian suggests writing down your life story during pandemic. At least that will help the police identify you when they find your body months after you die alone and half-eaten by your cats in your tiny apartment
source: news.virginia.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate waking up in the morning after getting black-out drunk to find you have two TVs in your room? And that you stole them?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Nobody in their wildest dreams would have ever thought we would need tens of thousands of ventilators. You know, except for the medical professionals who have been warning about this for months now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
A Wisconsin bar owner defiantly stayed open on St. Patrick's Day after a coronavirus ban by the Governor shut down all dine-in businesses. He said he had to make a stand
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
If your visit to Portland, Oregon was never complete without a visit to Powell's City Of Books, there is some bad news
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can't go to Disney because it's closed? Just create your own
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Not one arrest, not even a DUI, in Butte, Montana on St. Patrick's Day. That's like spring break kids in Florida listening to sense and staying indoors
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stonk Photo)
 
 
 
Caption this sad guy on a trading floor
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"Mars is a barren wasteland and I am completely alone here. I already knew that, of course. But there's a difference between knowing it and really experiencing it." ― Andy Weir, The Martian. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, isolated edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Last week: a federal judge ruled that it was wrong to cut people off of Food Stamps during this pandemic. This week: the Department of Agriculture is appealing that ruling. We need a "are you farking kidding me" tag
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just in time for St Patrick's Day, a book of pictures of redheads
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Amazon confirms first case of coronavirus at a U.S. warehouse, could mean they'll shut down everything in the near future. And you thought you were going to get your much needed supplies soon
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Hate crimes against Asians rising almost as fast as spread of COVID-19
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
NBA teams are still not having any issues getting their teams tested for Coronavirus
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Know someone who doesn't think COVID-19 is worse than the flu? Just send them this link to tickle their fancy
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Well keep him there, he has Covid
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man who set the initial record for the most isolated human ever passes away at 88. No, you can't have his toilet paper
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
And now, as if coronavirus hasn't already caused enough grief in our lives, it's caused The Rosie O'Donnell Show to return
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Christ the Redeemer and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Health official says one person is dying every 10 minutes from coronavirus in Iran. That poor person
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Did anyone review this graphic before this was posted?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHK World (Japan))
 
 
 
Chinese government researchers state that the anti-flu drug Avigan has been effective in treating coronavirus patients. Ask your doctor if Avigan is right for you
source: www3.nhk.or.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Move over stupid spring breakers filling the beaches of Florida, here are some people grinding and partying it up on a booze cruise despite the coronavirus pandemic
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
It's the first day of spring. Go outside and smell some flowers (just practice social distancing)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Íslendingar streyma til næsta stórmarkaðar þar sem panikkaup halda áfram amidst ótta við kransæðavírus. "ALLT PANNA"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Need a friend while sheltering at home? Foster a dog. Don't worry about food, your corpse will take care of that
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
Getting stuck indoors because of the coronavirus sucks, getting stuck at your girlfriend's boyfriend's place REALLY sucks
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Elon Musk last week: "Coronavirus is dumb." Elon Musk this week: ""We will make ventilators if there is a shortage"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is your home clean enough for your coworkers to see?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sitting horse. In other news, horses can sit?
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you're looking to boost your 'immune system' during the coronavirus lockdown, doctors say masturbating is the way to go. Just sayin' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Family of 1st person to die in connection to COVID-19 in L.A. County can't get tested, even after performing mouth-to-mouth on her trying to save her life, and developing symptoms afterwards
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
NRA spokesman says that his industry needs a government bailout to stay afloat
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
Boobies
 
Shiat just got real: COVID-19 killed Playboy
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Today's sign of the flu-apocalypse: People are stealing toilet paper from rest areas in Nebraska
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Putting a face on how contagious coronavirus is: 3 out of 7 infected die...in one family
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Plentiful are the perils of paragliding at Poo Poo Point
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National Interest)
 
 
 
There will soon be a drug shortage. On the positive side nobody could afford them anyways
source: nationalinterest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Coronavirus freezes ICE
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Non-scary grocery shopping is easy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Eight San Diego county residents have learned that price-gouging during an emergency is illegal in California. They face up to 1 year in jail and $10,000 max fine
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(Some Excited Alcohol Store Guy)
 
 
 
Old and busted: hoarding toilet paper in response to COVID-19. New Hotness: Hoarding alcohol in response to COVID-19
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(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you've having buyer's remorse over that panic induced purchase of 247 cans of creamed eels and 139 cartons or corn nog, and you bought the stuff in Jersey, bon appetit
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The government should shut down churches, because religious gatherings could disseminate a potential hazard to the public good. Oh, and also the coronavirus thingy
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Malaria drug chloroquine found to wipe out COVID-19 in as little as 6 days under French clinical trials, as few as 3 when combined with azithromycin
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Il senno di poi è 20/20
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you live in the USA or Canada, be sure to check the OFFICIAL Lost Money/Unclaimed Property pages for states you (or friends and family) have lived and worked in. This will be a short-term way to reclaim some money as we head off this cliff
source: unclaimed.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Funeral homes adapting to coronavirus emergency with "virtual funerals." Hopefully there will be no pop-ups
source: mytwintiers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Let's just rewind to Christmas and pretend none of this is happening
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If the government made beer, you wouldn't expect it to be very good
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 776: "Phoning It In". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 18, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gas could hit 99 cents a gallon in some parts of the country soon. Not where YOU live, but some parts of the country
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"If I get corona, I get corona," "It's really messing up my spring break," "We're just living for the moment," "Trying to get drunk before everything closaaas." Idiots still flocking to Miami for spring break cause Florida tag to go viral
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"The City that Never Sleeps" is about to get caught up on its rest, maybe read a few new books
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Great news. We have two years to have kids to replace everyone who dies
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
The silver lining to COVID-19 is that Italians are finally learning to queue like civilized people
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
L'etranger, c'est maintentant (at least in Italy)
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Fresh from the Ric Romero reporting wing, Mardi Gras may have been the perfect breeding ground for Covid-19
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Visual Capitalist)
 
 
 
Infection trajectory graph at Visual Capitalist is fascinating, scary and informative. Very good projection of future and past of the Cov-19 in many countries
source: visualcapitalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three OAPs tell BBC they will spend coronavirus isolation time with one another, drunk on white wine and watching The Crown together. "Three bezzies who can't bear to self isolate alone"
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
(NIAID) Just came out with a study that says higher temperatures and humidity significantly reduce' spread of COVID-19. This department is part of NIH so I do not believe them after Trump has said it will all go away in the summer
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(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Farker and audiobook narrator Cyclometh will be reading the second part of "The Time Machine" tonight at 6 PM Pacific/9 PM Eastern via live stream. Come on in and give it a listen
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Yorkers are now seeking love during the coronavirus quarantine on Craigslist. This should end well
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After failing to be stopped by a misplaced ottoman, Van Dyck painting thieves 'may have escaped in boat'
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
NASCAR is going to use computers for racin' or somethin'. Not too sure how it all works, but I hope Chevy beats Ford
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dewdrops
source: lisalageorge.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
The story of the British woman who gave birth to rabbits
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
The first person to die from coronavirus in Indiana had to say goodbye to her significant other via i-Pad because they were also infected with COVID-19
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Oxford University develops 30 minute CoVid-19 test, note for being 4 mins late to the gym
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
IRS social distances itself for 90 days from the April 15 tax payment deadline
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Italian study says 99% of people who died from coronavirus had some other preexisting condition. Sorry, but this does not bode well for those of you with ailments
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Adding insult to injury, the National Guard has responded to a chemical leak at Kennecott Copper Mine caused by the earthquake in Utah. Don't worry. It's just 8,000 gallons of Hydrochloric Acid
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Has 19 elder care facilities dealing with coronavirus outbreaks. The Worst Timeline™
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
It's a warm smoky hand sanitizer with a smooth finish
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Coronavirus cases have dropped sharply in South Korea thanks to this one simple trick: BEING FARKING PREPARED
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Grass roots efforts aren't just for politics. Local non-profits are helping feed those in need due to Covid-19. Volunteer if you can. Link goes to the subby's in Maryland/DC. Volunteers and donations needed
source: smallthingsmatter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
Weeners
 
Prank coronavirus texts send you to Deadwood
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Brits say "We got the virus, now where's our porn?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
It might be legal to have sex with a dog in Connecticut. Too bad all the peanut butter has been hoarded
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Eight Senators hate Americans. Seems low
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Escape reality with a long virtual walk through the Avebury Stone Circle, see the megaliths and experience the normal sounds of a small English village. Strangely reassuring, even with the ravens and church bells
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
(Knock-knock): Good Morning I'm here from the City Department to check your CoronaVirus. Also, where do you keep your jewelry and valuables? I should probably test those too
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
'In normal times, a program that tosses free toilet paper into cars would seem ridiculous. But while amused, passersby were appreciative'
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 33/40 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his carp
source: abc3340.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Restaurant forced into takeout-only service gives away a roll of toilet paper with every meal. Couple months ago this would have had the sick tag
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Pandemic got you down? Let this free self-care check-in be a guiding light during these dark times. It's been floating around the net for 5 years, but never has it seemed more appropriate than now
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci was hustled into a dark limousine, some sort of taped mask over his mouth, and was later spotted heading rapidly through some snowy region
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Sophie Trudeau gave Idris Elba COVID-19
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wealthy elites doing what wealthy elites do, ventilator edition
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
This COVID-19 virus is one stubborn bastard. South Korea and Taiwan are seeing a resurgence in cases
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The head of Imperial College's COVID-19 taskforce may have COVID-19. Overachiever
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Economic Forum)
 
 
 
To put things in perspective, here's a visual history of plagues. If this doesn't give you the warm fuzzies I don't know what will
source: weforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Please do not go to the bank and withdraw all your money. Signed, The people who would have to give you that money
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
For some completely mysterious and inexplicable reason, the National Day of Prayer didn't work. Jesus sought for questioning
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
GOP hack: "Blame me - and all the other Republicans who aided and abetted and, yes, benefited from protecting a political party that has become dangerous to America. Some of us knew better. But we built this moment. And then we looked the other way"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Well it is nice to know in these troubling times that Baltimore is still acting normal
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Navy to deploy hospital ship once they find the three missing pieces
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
"To stay out now, against all evidence-based recommendations, is to reveal oneself to be small-hearted and cruel, if not stupid"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
About those "flushable" wipes you're using because you forgot to get toilet paper: The flush is a lie
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
NASA prepares to board the B Ark
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jesus to stop receiving visitors because of Coronavirus
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Outline)
 
 
 
US citizens, let's not freak out about the coronavirus-induced martial law just yet. YET
source: theoutline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MovieWeb)
 
 
 
On the bright side - Maybe Martin will finish Game of Thrones after all
source: movieweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
How bad are things going to get in New York and California? Feds are dispatching Navy hospital ships
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook