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Sun March 15, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Nevada brothel says to put a bag over both of your heads
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Trudeau: Canadians found on the street will be shot on sight. /kidding //sort of ///eh
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Forget about toilet paper, the last pack of bacon in Australia caused a riot
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
This is why you get your bars and restaurants shut down. Face palm tag on hiatus based on CDC guidance
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
LVMH, maker of Christian Dior, Givenchy, Guerlain perfume is switching ALL it's perfume and cosmetic factories to make nothing but hand sanitizer, starting Monday
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Housekeeping)
 
 
 
Photoshop this toucan
source: scontent-atl3-1.cdninstagram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
How nature says, "Do not touch"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Remember those guys in TN who were upset that they couldn't sell the hand sanitizer they stockpiled? Well the TN Attorney General is now helping "facilitate" the donation of those supplies
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
NIH's Dr. Anthony Fauci goes on Sunday morning news shows to give us today's science-based COVID-19 update: Americans are "going have to hunker down considerably more," starting with celebrating St. Patrick's Day by yourself
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
DeBlasio surrenders. NYC schools to close
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In 1918 at the height of the Spanish flu, Philly decided to NOT cancel a parade, but St. Louis did cancel their parade. In the end, over 12,000 died in Philadelphia and 700 died in St. Louis. So, stop complaining about cancellations
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
That jerkhole with coronavirus who won't self quarantine? Looks like he'll either stay at home or get double tapped
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Captain Obvious, please pick up the white courtesy phone. Just be sure to disinfect it first
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Federal Reserve cuts rates to zero
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Things are beginning to look up in China...sorta
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
And here comes the fake coronavirus testing kits
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
An interactive guide to coronavirus risk by occupation: Dental hygienists on top, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay ... bottom out
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Austria: I'll see your ban on gatherings of 250 people and cut it to five
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Antivirus Gate)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sanitized human beings
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Governors start to order all bars and restaurants closed because you people couldn't figure out how social distancing works
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some School Guy)
 
 
 
Whelp, largest school district in Arizona just cancelled all classes tomorrow. 64,000 students and their families directly affected
source: mpsaz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Prisoner has seen way too many prison escape movies. Guards have not been paying attention while watching prison escape movies
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gambling Man)
 
 
 
Lottery error in your favor. Collect $55,000
source: lotterypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Florida Man complains about ruined Vail ski vacation amid coronavirus closures, promptly gets dragged on Twitter. Fark: Including by Colorado's governor
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Remember always laughing at all those paranoid doomsday preppers and their crazy ideas of stockpiling everything? Well now they're laughing at us
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Two barges being led by tug boat and carrying grain sink in Mississippi River after crashing into a bridge. Tug boat captain investigated for loafing
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Herald Bulletin)
 
 
 
All Indiana casinos are closing for two weeks starting Monday. Your move, Vegas
source: heraldbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Noted trendsetter in alcohol sales, Pennsylvania to close all liquor stores beginning Tuesday. This will surely be dealt with calmly across the state
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CDC: ♫ ♬ School's out for summer ♫ ♬
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
"At first, I was worried that we might have it half as bad as Italy. I can tell you from what I have now witnessed, we are Italy"
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando, you're the winner in this week's "Which TSA workers will test positive for coronavirus" contest. Step right up to collect your contaminated prize
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two time travelers BACK to the future
source: i.redd.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Since you might have some extra downtime at home this week, here's a list of the ten most valuable pennies to coin collectors
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Guy dressed entirely in camouflage harasses Asian man because of coronavirus. Well, there's no disguising he's an idiot
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This period of social isolation will really bring out the creativity in many of us
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Breathtaking display of national solidarity from locked-down Italy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Hiker in the desert injured after a 300 pound boulder crushes his leg. Wile E. Coyote wanted for questioning
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you lost a bag full of cocaine and $20k in cash, Vancouver police would like to help reunite you with your lost items. Oh, you left your identification in there too
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How many rolls will it cost to not put them in a retirement home
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
So it begins. Hoboken, New Jersey, to impose Coronavirus curfew starting Monday
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sports cancellations leave one group of fans particularly deflated: Vasectomy patients
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
One of these offers to support coronavirus stuck-at-homers has crashed servers due to overwhelming support: A. CDC chart on hand-washing. B. Comcast removing data caps. C. 200 free Japanese pornos
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Kentucky has its Typhoid Mary: Man who tested positive with coronavirus is refusing to self-quarantine
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 14, 2020
(India Today)
 
 
 
The Discman is alive and well
source: indiatoday.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jesus
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Who the hell is still partying in Vegas?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
If you really want to help during the Coronavirus outbreak, donate to a local food bank
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy who has no farks to give
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Demon's Thrall)
 
 
 
1676 letter written by nun possessed by The Devil has been translated. "TUUM BIBENDUM OVALTINE"
source: absolutehistory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Keep calm and don't try to come to the USA
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Attention subway riders: Stand clear of the closing doors, please. Also, please avoid pulling down your facemask, licking your finger, and then rubbing a subway pole. Thank you for your cooperation
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
France surrenders
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
American hospitals are canceling elective surgeries as they need the beds for COVID-19 patients. So if you wanted bigger boobs or a new hip, you'll have to wait
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sanitizing robot
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The lockdown in Spain falls mainly on the plain and will ground many a plane (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Have you decided what will be on your tombstone? Will you include your gamer tag or social media handles?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
In days of old when knights were bold, before toilet roll was invented, they'd wipe their arse with tufts of grass and went away contented
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
More and more Millennials are embracing a clothing trend called 'Granny chic' that looks like something grandmothers wore in the 90s
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Denmark: Shut. Down. Everything. Oh, and lets activate the military to make sure
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Come for a heartfelt defense of Corona. Stay for Peanut Butter AYDS
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mask
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Health Organization)
 
 
 
We all know about washing our hands, keeping things clean, social distancing, etc. (see link), but share information here about services available to help sick people or those who are or know someone who is at high risk if they get sick from COVID-19
source: who.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"The animals who were the most neglected, sickest, the ones with special needs and nobody wants ... when you open up your heart to them, they will love you and be forever grateful. They give you pure love". Welcome to Caturday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Wash your farking hands
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Christian shares love with athetits
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
The TSA will allow you to go big on hand sanitizer
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Due to the coronavirus, the police department is asking that all criminal activities stop until further notice. Fark: That is an actual statement from a police department
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If you're going to drunk drive in a cement mixer try not to run over the sheriff's deputy
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
When you're done stocking up on TP, Walmart and Walgreens will offer their parking lots for Coronavirus testing
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you haven't hit the store for panic buying yet, here's what's left
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
New Yorkers look at the high side of life in this coronavirus pandemic shutdown: NYC marijuana delivery services are booming because of the virus
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beebies)
 
 
 
Italy: Quarantine everyone. South Korea: Test everyone. China: Burn the bodies. US: Give money to bankers. UK: Make sure everyone gets sick as quickly as possible
source: eand.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Why are you stealing stuff from a Verizon store? I mean it is the most popular carrier, but we all know deep-down that T-Mobile is way better
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 13, 2020
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Herd immunity is failing
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
The Federal Reserve has a master plan to kill the pandemic by drowning it in cash
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAND 17 Central Illinois)
 
 
 
Mayor's executive order in Champaign,IL could include banning sale of firearms, ammunition and alcohol. Yeah never let a crisis go to waste,even if your order is unconstitutional
source: wandtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
You can get paid $1,000 to watch Irish films and eat Lucky Charms all day. Unfortunately, Irish whiskey not included in the deal
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"I'm a drunk not a meth head, and if the cops found meth it must have belonged to someone else"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oatmeal)
 
 
 
Working from home is both awesome and horrible
source: theoatmeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Egg McMuffin Rat picks the wrong week to try to become a viral sensation, should have tried sniffing glue
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Man walks away from Kent, WA coronavirus quarantine. Stock up on apples now before a wall is built around Washington State
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Police use tear gas to break up college party, prevent couch burning
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
And now, some good news: Alabama toilet paper maker can meet increased demand
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NWA Homepage)
 
 
 
Someone dumped thousands of feet of toilet paper all over a highway exit. Crews not needed as everyone stopped to grab some to stock up
source: nwahomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pole climber
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National Interest)
 
 
 
Israel declares war on coronavirus. The bombing begins in five minutes
source: nationalinterest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Twenty things to do at home during quarantine instead of banging your head against the wall or bugging your partner for sex
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Smalltime organic hand sanitizer seller on Amazon experiences panic buying: "It was shock and a little bit of panic, a little bit of excitement, and then panic again,"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
Here's your official Work From Home During the Pandemic bingo card
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
First confirmed patient in coronavirus talks about surviving Rhode Island. "At one point, he was aware that a priest in protective gear was about to administer last rites"
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
This is the worst billboard for drug overdose subby has ever seen
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thank you for calling America. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line, and the next available representative will be with you shortly. The expected wait time is *Lenny voice* 42 days
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Irish Coronavirus priorities: Publicans call on Govt to offer specific advice on how Irish boozers should deal with the virus
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Correction: the obvious forgeries in the sky elf pamphleteering museum have been confirmed to be forged
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Simpsons did it" Covid-19 edition
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Another Republican governor revokes the 1st Ammendment. 21st amendment reportedly nervous now
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
On the positive side if you've been skipping gym workouts you're much more likely to not have coronavirus. Way to go
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
To distract you from Coronovirus news here is a report on a NOPE getting stuck in the web of a NOPE and fighting to the death. NOPE NOPE NOPE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Smokin' hot Dayton woman jailed on multiple counts of stealing credit cards, personal belongings, and the Blue Steel
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I'm excited, but also terrified" Such is the life of a cruise ship passenger that couldn't cancel
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Rewatch the Presidential announcement and count how many people touched the microphone. It's the Trump coronavirus address II, Live @3PM EST (switching threads, continue the discussion here)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN (images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this MMA fighter
source: a.espncdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
They never tested the people on the boat
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Should I go to my friend's party? Work out at the gym? Disinfect my phone and credit cards? You've got questions. Here's some solid information for you
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois suspends public gatherings of more than 1,000 but schools will remain open
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Suddenly, tire. (Trifecta possible today)
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
For the love of god, people, use soap
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
At The Villages, Florida's largest retirement community which has been likened to a perpetual cruise complete with parties and STDs, residents are looking to go out with a Corona bang
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Trump schedules market crash for 3:01pm. Time to short some stocks (LGT live stream)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Andrew Gillum goes full "Florida man", and yes meth was a factor
source: amp.miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sweet meteor of death, at last you've come
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Panic buying in the UK as one man is spotted with a truck loaded with toilet paper
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama has first confirmed case of Covid 19, Governor recommends postponing family orgies for 30 days
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Quarantined Italians sing to one another from windows above empty city streets. Che bella
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Tired coronavirus doomsday scenarios? Need more end of days content? Well you're in luck because Yellowstone is doing something unusual
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If you're a man who wants to pay for your date, there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. This is the wrong way
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's official, people are fighting over hand sanitizer at Walmart
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
U-Haul offers free storage for displaced students
source: 985thesportshub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Old Guard Q-Anon followers are very upset about a young upstart calling himself "Baby Q", who claims he IS Q, or rather Q is is his future self travelling back in time to warn him of future events, because that makes them look CRAZY
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz's self-quarantine ends. Fark: Interacted with second patient, goes right back in
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Dank of Oklahoma faces federal trademark infringement lawsuit from Bank of Oklahoma. Dude, like, there are more important things right now
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Pandemic Perks: They're out there people you just have to prioritize .... oh and watch your back
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
At least one NBA team will be finishing their season
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Not condoning your actions, Ms. Daycare Worker, but I understand
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
The Internet can't save us from loneliness in this Coronavirus pandemic ...or can it it? Let's find out together
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Are your boomer parents/grandparents not taking the coronavirus pandemic seriously? You're not alone
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Suddenly, wheel
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption these young researchers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Life-like sex doll with implanted human hair leaves people 'certain it's a real person'. In related news: Some people can't tell the difference between rubber and human flesh (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Utah Jazz have tested over 75% as many people for COVID-19 as the CDC has
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"The Who" Postpones UK tour, unclear why this didn't happen Tuesday just after they announced the pandemic
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The Madness of King Dalindyebo
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The bad news: CDC models that 1.7 million Americans may die from Covid-19. The good news: the CDC hasn't been right about anything with regard to this outbreak yet
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor de Blasio says the city that never sleeps remains open for tourists, as long as you had no plans to go see a Broadway show, go to a museum, go to the opera, go to a sporting event, eat out, visit a dirty subway station
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Bad: Your mom asking Facebook for coronavirus advice. Worse: Jared Kushner asking his brother's father in law to ask Facebook for coronavirus advice. What does that make us? Farked
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Relax everyone - Betty White says she is fine, hopefully is being kept safe in an underground bunker
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Masters Tournament)
 
 
 
Augusta National refuses to admit white people
source: masters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Massive 'David' statue topples at cemetery, flaccid penis still missing
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Spain declares State of Emergency after over 1,050 cases pop up in a single day (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Here's what might happen If London (or any other major city) had a coronavirus lockdown. Surprisingly, nothing in the article about going to the pub, having a nice cold pint and waiting for this all to blow over
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Michigan approves $600,000 to demolish green goo site. With WTF pic that could have come from the Simpsons
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Peach Bottom facing charges after accidentally firing gun in church. Oh great now butts of fruit are dangerous
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada considering raising the drawbridge and filling the moat with rabid beavers
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
California deputies remind shoppers not to call 911 over line-cutting, it's Lord of the Flies for that guy trying to escape from Sam's Club with the last roll of toilet paper
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
NY AG orders Alex Jones to stop selling fake coronavirus treatment products, probably because they're too high in alcohol
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York City supermarket shoppers react to a possible quarantine in the usual calm manner you would expect from anxious A-type personalities
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this swinger
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Why some people are not buying into the coronavirus paranoia ...and are certain they won't catch the virus. Call them optimists
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
UK health minister: Right, we're not banning events because our Step One is give 60% of our population coronavirus. Step two is -- wait, why are you complaining?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Australia's home affairs minister has tested positive for coronavirus. He has just returned from a trip to the US where he was photographed in bigly proximity to Ivanka Trump and Bill Barr
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man barred from posting cute cat videos due to lawsuits
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Social Distancing: The dos and don'ts
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
NHL gets cancelled, what do Canadians do?
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
"Can you imagine a more effective way to spread a respiratory virus than sending one or two family members (children) off to mix with hundreds of others, having them return to their families in the evening, and repeating that process every day?"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out that if you want to naturally shorten your lifespan, all you have to do is move closer to a fast food restaurant
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
♬ Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) / Isolation space / The governor's seizing the Hotel California / It's necessity (it's necessity) / For a quarantine... ♬
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Get ready to party like it's January 20, 2017
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHL Tri-Cities)
 
 
 
........and nothing of value was lost, since you can't even sample their marginally almost acceptable product due to back-assward Kentucky liquor laws
source: wjhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Signed Salvador Dali print discovered in N.C. thrift store. Well that's just surreal
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
23-year-old Darwins himself with TikTok tractor stunt
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Miami-Dade and Broward county school superintendents make the most Florida decision ever
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 12, 2020
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris' sister in respiratory distress at All Saints Episcopal Church last night. I guess it's pretty serious
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Where is your god now, Joel?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Because we all need a little injection of joy right now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Prime Minister Trudeau's wife has tested positive for coronavirus, eh?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Televangelist Kenneth Copeland is now healing his flock through the TV. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Needs cheese and pepperoni on top
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Man sues Buffalo Wild Wings after drunk security guard makes his day extra spicy
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Philadelphia Inquirer)
 
 
 
He was found guilty of 'official misconduct,' but the real crime is looking like he does, and wearing a bow tie anyway
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Sorry folks. Park's closed. Mouse out front should have told you [Update: Disneyland, DisneyWorld and Universal Studios]
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Three teenagers completely fooled when a opossum plays a totally-unprecedented trick on them. Stupid tag is almost breaking under the weight of this story
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
I think we all knew those conferences were just giant orgies
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some SUV)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 2020 Ford Bronco into a more exciting environment
source: bobtomesford.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
It's worse than Ebola
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
- . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. .... . -. -.. . -.. ... - --- .--. (Florida makes it legal to delay delivery of telegraph messages)
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Hello, stockbroker? Please buy 1,000 shares of PornHub"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
After an evening of hanging out together, drinking and smoking meth, a woman stabs her male partner in the throat and torso, then tried to choke him with a tie. The reason? He wouldn't go buy some more METH. Obvious tag, no meth tag available
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HiConsumption)
 
 
 
J.F. Sebastian's home can now be your office. Miniature replicants, Roy Batty sold separately
source: hiconsumption.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Well, that didn't take long. US Soccer would like to apologize for its earlier assertion that men deserve more money than women because they have more skills and responsibilities. Will return to previous argument of "we just want to pay them more"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
And the starting bid will be $5,000 for this car. bghe bheaeg gheddd do I hear $4,000 for this car? rtoytr rtuo gadjag. Do I hear $2,000 now? bghag bahg yes, we are aware the cars are on fire.... Do I hear $1,000 for this car now?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Super wolf' the size of a lion killed after it unleashes a terrifying rampage on quiet Russian village. No word yet of any bitten villagers howling at the moon, but silver bullets are being polished up just in case (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
✔ cough ✔ Seattle resident ✔ Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer ✘ coronavirus test for you
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
In Tennessee, people spray their kids with disinfectant so that they don't catch coronavirus. Also works on skeeters
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bob Iger assures Gov. Gavin Newsom that Disney magic extends to stopping the coronavirus from spreading... and nevermind it's closed
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NCAA)
 
 
 
Everyone else officially eliminated from the NCAA tournament. Duke sucks
source: ncaa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Dear Comcast, Verizon, AT&T, and other ISPs, you know what would be nice? Yeah, if you lifted usage caps because so many people are going to be working from and quarantining at home
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mary Sue)
 
 
 
WHO: Let the dogs out
source: themarysue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photostop this starry shoe
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Live Nation loses $1.8 billion in one day over coronavirus cancellations, or roughly the individual service fees for about 25 Pearl Jam tickets
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oh, bollocks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
French mayor defends holding massive Smurf rally despite Coronavirus spread, possibly in bid to garner attention little-known Smurfs such as Gaspy, Sneezy, Fevery, and Collapsey
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Ohio suspends 1st amendment. 21st amendment still intact. For now
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
𝅘𝅥𝅮 Manitoba, where the COVID comes sweeping down the plain / Where the crazy tweets can't compete / When the fear comes right behind the rain... 𝅘𝅥𝅮
source: winnipeg.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Chet Hanks releases official statement on his father's Coronavirus: 'No worries mon.'
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gov. Cuomo bans gatherings of more than 500 people in New York to fight coronavirus. Shouldn't be a problem for the Mets
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man in McDouble trouble
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Bourbon, tires and rims and I'm back in jail agin
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Ireland's closed. Drunk leprechaun out front shoulda told ya
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
No need to panic everyone, we've got this COVID-19 thing under control. Just look how many people the CDC has tested this week: 77
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Joel Osteen prays that Jesus will stop the coronavirus. But, just in case Jesus isn't listening, everybody stay home because he apparently took some time off back in the 1940s
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bad: People with COVID-19 may be contagious for two weeks before symptoms appear. Really bad: People with COVID-19 may be contagious for five weeks after symptoms have vanished
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man uses rectum to kill one, sicken five
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Boobies
 
Ciao, boobies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Drop the coronavirus news for a moment and find out how many Labrador puppies can fit in one bucket
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cattle semi rollover I-44 West at Joplin, over 100 head of cattle. For one, I didn't know cattle could drive, and what happened to the rest of the cattle?
source: fourstateshomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
For the first time in United States history, the New York City St. Patrick's Day parade has been postponed, so anyone barfing on the LIRR next Tuesday really will be sick
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Norway Down: This is news, and not the script for the next film starring Gerard Butler,Morgan Freeman and Cole Hauser
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Greece deploys warships to Lesbos to stem invasion
source: newsparliament.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
On this week's serving of 80's post-punk, new wave, goth, and shoegazy goodness, it's Dave Ball, Freur, That Petrol Emotion and more. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #124. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you happen to see beefy, hairy guys dressed like Rob Halford out on the town a little early this year, there's a reason why
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Corona Virus hooks up with the Trudeaus. Subby is jealous
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
If you're the parent who sent your kid to middle school with a bag of THC-laced candy to hand out to its classmates, Commerce City, CO police would like to have a little chat with you
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson to chair emergency Cobra meeting today, during which he is expected to approve moving to the "delay phase" of the coronavirus response, and pull the dead possum off his head to reveal he was Zartan all along
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This is CBS NY, the Coronavirius Broadcast Studio
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Shopkeeper thwarts would-be robber by throwing a pot of chili in his face. To make it even worse, there were no beans in the chili
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Designboom)
 
 
 
The pizza table you never really asked for. Some assembly required. Lousy instructions and Allen wrench included
source: designboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The burial pits Iran is digging for its COVID-19 deaths are big enough to be seen from space. Of course, the roads, buildings, and cars in the picture around them can also be seen from space, so this might just be one of those clickbait headlines (link fixed)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sorry, folks. Capitol's closed. Feverish, wheezing congressman out front should've told you
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Man with coronavirus boards plane from New York to Florida. Quarantine-arity ensues
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Betoota Advocate)
 
 
 
Australian hospital staff realize Tom Hanks could use some company in quarantine, make the obvious move
source: betootaadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Doctors say you shouldn't put frozen potatoes in your anus. But what do doctors know?
source: iheartintelligence.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old & busted: YOLO. New hotness: No-Lo, as young drinkers shun alcohol for no-or-low alcohol beers, leaving Gen-Xers & Millennials to ask: what's the point?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Uber says they may suspend accounts of their drivers and riders who have coronavirus. MAY??
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Beauty queens, upcoming albums and tours, and high-effort, low-yield theft are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, March 1-7, Socially Distant Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is destroying the sex party scene. Yes hands off orgies will not become a thing
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop the surface of Mars
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seattle flu study starts testing flu test samples for Covid-19 and find positive results that date from before the first known cases in the US. Reaction from CDC and FDA: STOP TESTING
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Watch how the markets reacted to the speech from President Pandemic-Recession
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"The virus does not have a Twitter account and, unlike so many previous Trump foes, is resistant to political bullying or Republican Party solidarity"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amid nationwide shortages, you can still find some hand sanitizer for sale at a NJ 7-Eleven. It was made by the store owner, and it caused severe burns on a couple of kids who used it, but still
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Thousands of ravenous monkeys swarm Thai town after coronavirus drives tourists away
source: newsparliament.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Oh, this is why we don't have as many confirmations for coronavirus: only select people are getting tested
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If COVID-19 is already spreading, instead of bothering with expensive and inconvenient containment, why shouldn't we just let it go and be done with it? Three words: "Flatten The Curve" (with explanation and helpful chart)
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
World's happiest DUI suspect performs song and dance routine during field-sobriety test, shows off nipple rings to arresting officer
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British student sent home for selling hand sanitiser at school. His mum said that "it was hard to discipline her son when his dad called to say he was a [expetive deleted] legend, and that her son plans to use the £9 he made to buy a kebab"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Where is your Hunky Jesus now?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 775: "Melancholia". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 11, 2020
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Holy carp! Perhaps people should think twice before swimming in a lake
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
We have to protect ourselves from COVID-19. To be safe, let's just stay home and cook. Hey, look, mushrooms for dinner
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man strikes again. This time, he's naked and throwing rocks at cars
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Nebraska head coach Fred Hoiberg falls ill during B1G Basketball Tournament, taken to hospital (Original has video of head coach being ill, asst. coach feverishly applying Purell) [Update: released from hospital]
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Italy shuts. down. everything
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Man convicted for stealing $2 million from school district after sending email claiming he was from construction firm. District also sent money to three Nigerian princes and now has a ton of boner pills
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCTI 12 New Bern)
 
 
 
First spud stacker was super tuber farmer; eyes peeled for later tater donater
source: wcti12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
NewsFlash
 
NBA. Book it. Done
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
NewsFlash
 
Brexit finally pays off as the UK is the only country in Europe that isn't banned from travel to the US for the next 30 days
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
NewsFlash
 
Saving Mr. Hanks
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Journal News)
 
 
 
Not The Onion: School bus to house black history museum for Utah
source: hjnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Another really sad thing about the Coronavirus, rich people are doing rich people things to deal with it, like buying "survival condos"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Coronavirus: I'm not saying it was aliens...but it was aliens
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
US heart surgeon regularly travels to Libya to treat children lacking care. Not a huge story but one that needs recognition. Bonus: Farker's friend is part of the team that does this
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Kentuckians and their peculiar hoarding priorities
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high tech pasture
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 25 News)
 
 
 
Flint is currently in violation of the Federal Safe Drinking Water Act. You don't say
source: nbc25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Enormous robber crab steals $4,000 thermal imaging camera on Christmas Island heist
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here's an idea, let's tell convicts that there's no escape from the Coronavirus threat for 2 million of them crammed in prisons. Surely nothing can go wrong
source: bloombergquint.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The articles that best combine funny and sad are the ones where people ask you to congratulate them for their utter cluelessness
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Volunteers offer to support those in self-isolation as a result of the COVID-19 virus, however, Boomers will be horrified to discover these volunteers are ... young
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
During the 1918 Spanish flu, Philadelphia held a parade anyway, causing its per capita death rate to be double that of St. Louis, which canceled a parade. St. Louis 2020: let's reverse those responses and see what happens
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Artist creates National Park posters based off their worst Yelp review
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Your mother and I have made-up our minds, and you are going on this cruise, girl. We got you some Lysol wipes and the all-you-can-drink package too, baby
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Duke Sucks
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Seattle tech billionaire powers activate Form of: Coronavirus test kits
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Wanted: Unknown Cow
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Uhh... it's cuz people gotta wipe their ass? Did we really need a whole article explaining this?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After almost a month, the last of the temporary hospitals set up in Wuhan for coronavirus victims has closed due to no longer being needed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Viruses fear soap like an unarmed terrorist fears a helicopter full of Navy Seals. And for roughly the same reason
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hotel in Amsterdam
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The 2020 Fark Fiction Anthology is open for subs. And cruisers and destroyers, too, I guess. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, naval-gazing edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Faith-healing service cancelled due to coronavirus fears. Jesus apparently unavailable for comment
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
This teacher is tired of your s**t
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Typhoid Matlock
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Edge observation deck at Hudson Yards in NYC officially opens to the public. Now you can release your vertigo on the highest outdoor observation deck in the Western Hemisphere
source: newyorkyimby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remain in Mexico remains, the Supreme Court says so. Know what I'm saying?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwood Index-Journal)
 
 
 
Man gives blurry, Loch Ness Monster-esque photo to media, immediately admits it's a fake
source: indexjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Telling the police that you love them and trying to kiss them is apparently frowned upon. Who knew?
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLX West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Man riding stolen bicycle decides he wants a better bike
source: wflx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Think wearing gloves will reduce your risk of catching coronavirus? It will, if by "reduce" you really mean "increase"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russian military: Oh just testing to see if you were paying attention
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Caravan park owner arrested for dangerous driving tries the old 'I told my chauffeur to step on it as I was having sex in the back with some bird and I didn't want my wife to find out because we'd only just got back together' line. Classy
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Young boy gets left behind after class trip. A story just like the movie Home Alone. Only Kevin is now three, and "home" is a RODEO
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
The World Health Organization on COVID-19: Everybody pandemic!
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
First they came for my 'throwaway culture' and no one stood up because they all were in piles of old, obsolete cell phones
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Corona, corona, corona, William Shatner's horse semen in the news again, wait back up one
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
One plus side of coronavirus, empty NYC subways for the homeless to take midday naps in peace
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Woman who hit 87-year-old German lady with her purse and called her a Nazi seems surprised by hate crime charge
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Chinese officials say they'll have coronavirus vaccine ready by April for emergency situations and clinical trials. You go first
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(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Insurers to wave treatment fees for Covid-19. Coffins and funerals still expected to be pricey
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
NewsFlash
 
Weinstein gets 23 years. May as well keep the walker since he's really going to need it by the time his sentence is up
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(Me TV)
 
 
 
Remember when you could cut records out of the back of cereal boxes? For younger Farkers, remember records?
source: metv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Sleep tight, you 25,000 attendees of a Toronto mining conference: Canada's latest positive coronavirus patient also attended it with you
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Coronavirus does what neither Matthew Broderick nor Harrison Ford could do: shut down Chicago's St. Patrick's Day parade
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Louisiana couple steals $1,000 worth of beer, planned on having a helluva party later that night
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
A look back at the hilarious time CBS tried to recreate Lord of the Flies with real kids. "The ultimate best time of my life"
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
That is a new low Florida Man. Well maybe not a new low, but a lower low
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(WDTN Dayton)
 
 
 
University of Dayton cancels classes due to coronavirus. Students celebrate with a riot
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
FDA stops foreign inspections, hopes India and China will provide high quality drugs and medical devices on the honor system
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Snorting cocaine is not going to protect you from Coronavirus, say health officials because apparently some folks thought this was the case
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tragic situation
source: i2.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Dog rescued from the wilderness by the aroma of sizzling sausages and bacon. Your dog would have submitted this as a wonderful Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread if you hadn't changed your Fark account password a few weeks ago
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(CBS News)
 
 
 
Vaping can turn your lungs into a coronavirus condo
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(NPR)
 
 
 
...and here we have our first example of 3 TSA screeners being infected with Coronavirus -- and then, presumably, passing it on to every other bag they touched, those passengers, those airplanes, and those cities where they were flying
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here you go Farkettes, a list of things to wear to the bar if you want the Farkers to stay far away
source: gomag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Red is the rose / Purple's the iris /
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(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Japanese men are wearing women's panties on their faces as coronavirus masks because why not
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Washing State governor bans all gatherings in greater Seattle with more than 250 people (concerts, sporting events, etc.)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
Most people play paintball against their friends and coworkers. Montanans are about to start playing against grizzly bears
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Coronavirus Conference Cancelled
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sorry Ladies, D.C. Sniper Lee Boyd Malvo is off the market
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USDA)
 
 
 
USDA approves school meals without schools
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(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Pastor who took the "laying on of hands" too literally is back in the pulpit
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(8 News Now)
 
 
 
Hope you had your fill of Vegas buffetts because they're gone as of now over coronavirus concerns
source: 8newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 10, 2020
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
The mortality rate for COVID-19 in Italy is over 6%, with 631 deaths and 10,000 confirmed cases
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(Scotsman)
 
 
 
UK health minister Nadine Dorries goes viral
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wow, the budget has been cut big time for the next Avatar
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different, John Cleese's silly walk is 6.7 times sillier than other walks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Are you one of those folks who has a thrill seeking personality, for whom significant risk of personal harm is a prerequisite for arousal? Cruise bargains are here for you youngsters, subby has a cloud to yell at from his Coronavirus isolation booth
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(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Apparently the camo didn't help
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this arbor
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(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida family stuck in denial. No seriously, they are actually stuck in the Nile
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(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Doctor when the patient is being discharged: ¨Don´t worry sir, you´ll recover in no time. You might experience some minor discomfort but that´s just because we got some scissors stuck inside your stomach. Nothing life-threatening, trust us¨
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(Medium)
 
 
 
Coronavirus - the everything summary
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
How NYC strip clubs are handling the covid outbreak. With possibly the best Corona graphic you'll see all year
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Harvard University to students: Get out
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY Governor Cuomo announces increase in covid19 cases and you know he's serious because he's using his "expression of serious alarm" face
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(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Youth hockey coach from Adam Sandler's hometown goes full Happy Gilmore
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this otter-ly adorable um, otter
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(Fatherly)
 
 
 
Research finds fathers playing with their children is one of the best ways to keep their daughters off drugs and their sons off stripper poles
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(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Kindergarten teacher donates kidney to mom of former student, both say they hope to escape the hospital before catching coronavirus
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Article about Olive Garden poor management of sick employees gets the company to offer paid sick leave faster than it takes to get more breadsticks
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(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Woman uses hand sanitizer to clean out entire apartment building, killing all viruses and one person
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(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Librarians and drag queens and protesters, oh my 🏳🌈
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cruise ships are tubs of contagion partly because sick passengers are the Doc's lucrative side hustle when he's not giving ladies "a tour of the ship"
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(NBC New York)
 
 
 
28 Weeks Later II is not filming in NY, however the NY National Guard is deploying to New Rochelle to set-up a containment area probably not for zombies but they always say that
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(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
When an arrest goes wrong in Wisconsin it can hurt. He's got my d*** spray him, spray him already
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(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Bride-to-be leaves her wedding dress inside her SUV and assumed no one would ever want to steal a Kia Sorento or her dress. She was wrong on both counts
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has hit the Lesbians
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
We have 10 days. EVERYBODY PANIC
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iran digs mass graves for its 27 alcohol poisoning dead that tried to cure themselves from coronavirus
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(The Sun)
 
 
 
$4,500 and all the corona I can handle --- sign me up --- wait, wait, WAIT, that's not a beer, THAT'S NOT A BEER
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
China will shortly be launching a public education program on how to correctly show your gratitude to the Party and to President Xi for correctly managing the COVID crisis
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
You would think that if God really hated LGBT people he would give the coronavirus only did them
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pope Francis, up on his podium, sacrifices his priests to the Coronavirus minions
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(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Lawyers for Harvey Weinstein: OK, so maybe our client did rape and harass a bunch of women. But I think if you'll take a minute to consider how far he has fallen in the public eye, you'll agree he's been punished enough already. We good?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
How to clean your smartphone the right way you filthy, influencer-infected humonculi
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