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Sun March 01, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
On February 29th at 2:29 p.m, 29 couples were married in Hell
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Pharmacist at pharmacy: You need to swallow this cup full of antibiotics right now. Pharmacist later on phone: Hi, remember those antibiotics you took? Yeah, they were actually opiates. Ni-night
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It was all business at the front and party at the back for this year's Mulletfest, and you can read all about in the court and crime section of the newspaper
source: newcastleherald.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oprah gives motivational speech about balance. Why is this on Fark? One guess as to what happened
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peeking woman
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
NewsFlash
 
Buttigieg is out. He's been out for a while, he has a husband and everyth... oh
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
College recruiter tells students to line up by skin color and nappiest hair while visiting a high school. You bet some people have a problem with this
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
These girls positively glowed in youth. Their graves sites will continue to glow for about 1,600 years
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The Louvre is closed, Mona Lisa out front should have told you
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Okay Farkers, can you spot the homophone mistake in the 5th paragraph? How about the one in the 8th paragraph that contains a Florida statute?
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this island sea turtle
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
Half-naked Philly guy steals ambulance and leads police on 90-minute chase. Subby almost used the Florida tag out of force of habit
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has been spreading in the US through community contact for over 6 weeks now, and hundreds if not thousands are almost certainly infected. So we've got that going for us. Sleep tight
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After Miss Staten Island comes out as bisexual, the organizer of the Staten Island St. Patty's Day Parade bans her from marching in it ... for "safety" reasons
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
For some reason, ice cream manufacturers are experts at nuclear waste disposal
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Drink yourself sober? Has Fark gone into the Rehab business?
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Screwing over other students by not submitting final grades is frowned upon at University of California, Santa Cruz
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Utah mother outraged that grade school principal Kip Motta forced her daughter to dance with a boy after saying no to him, and he did it on porpoise after claiming she was shellfish
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSFA)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what became of Cindy Lou Who?
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♬ There's a place in France / Where the naked ladies dance / But you've missed your chance / 'Cause of public crowding bans ♬
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Pulmonary problems postpone planned Papal public programs
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his inflatable pants
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: How did that get there? Tell about a time when something unlikely turned up somewhere unlikely
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Refusing to show up in court on drug and weapons charges is one thing. Threatening the judge and declaring "This is war" is a whole other level
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'll see your nope, and raise you 8 feet of nope
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Salt Lake City's Leonardo Museum turns their sprinklers on an area where the homeless camp. Was that wrong? Should they not have done that?
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
Old man yells at local newspaper. Fark: Every day for 42 years
source: derbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Surgeon General's Warning: STOP BUYING THOSE F*CKING MASKS
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
About that poll stating 38% of Americans wouldn't drink Corona because of coronavirus? Yep, it's as fake as Heisler Gold Ale
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Regina Leader-Post)
 
 
 
Self correcting problem?
source: leaderpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Is van life a new freedom or a sad reality?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 29, 2020
(Vox)
 
 
 
Five reasonable things to do now to get ready for a coronavirus outbreak instead of EVERYBODY PANIC
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What a pisser
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Holy Cow. The public has been warned about possible exposure to the deadly virus in San Antonio. The rabies virus
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Do not taunt the dynamite moose
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lovely ladies out for a cruise
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Bad: Leaving your three kids, all under 8, home alone while you head out to have sex with a 14-year-old girl. Fark: Believing you're having sex with 14-year-old girl
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Instagram celebrity influences 3 people to take the Dry Ice Challenge
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Well, it started as a semi. Then it stood straight up. That's when it happened
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Greedy parents are stealing from Girl Scouts at cookie season
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cityscape)
 
 
 
Photoshop these strange building tops
source: mvdirona.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Whoever took Seattle as first location for an American coronavirus death, remain in your home. Your IV bag of E1101 will be delivered shortly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mid Hudson News)
 
 
 
Man steals candy bar, is total Butterfinger, gets his PayDay. There's a Crunch, then there is nothing left but a Big Hunk of Mounds
source: midhudsonnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Steam punked
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 10 Sacamento)
 
 
 
Oh look honey, someone created an ice sculpture that is an exact replica of our house in the exact spot where a house used to stand
source: abc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marijuana Moment)
 
 
 
12 hour erection caused by weed? Boner dude
source: marijuanamoment.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Somebody buy this bartender a drink
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
My name is Rich. Very Rich
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
This story has it all: drinking, hazing, cheerleaders, dance team... and you've already clicked
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this poser
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clarksville Now)
 
 
 
"He's so special to me, and everyone was like 'you can just get another cat,' and I'm like 'I can't. There's no way I can replace him.'" Lost cat travels 2,300 miles, finds his way home just in time for Caturday: Leap Day Edition
source: clarksvillenow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Addicts keep robbing opium fields in India. The culprits? Wild parrots with a taste for milk of the poppy
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
They say new cars lose half their value the moment the cargo ship capsizes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
He may have smoked crack and burned down I-85, but Atlanta gave him a second chance. And he just completed an 18-month treatment program with over two years sobriety
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Great, now thieves are screwing with our catalytic converters... They're cutting them off with a saw then melting down the metal for palladium which sells for a lot. These "thieves" are clever little creatures I see
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Coronavirus successfully survives dysentery, crossing the river and shooting just the right amount of buffalo as to not overload the wagon
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
In this world gone mad, the only currency is toilet paper
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Yo coronavirus imma let you finish, but tuberculosis is the best of all time
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFDM Port Arthur)
 
 
 
There once was a fellow named Stemen, who had a syringe full of
source: kfdm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 28, 2020
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
"We should get a celebrity to help promote our new anti-idling law." "How about Billy Idol. Idle - Idol? Get it?" "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard." Smash-cut to:
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Teacher of the Year winner suspended for showing students pictures of her: A) Breasts; B) Vagina; or C) Future Wife
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Ah, sheetz, ya got me Probably not rare Somerset county Pa trifecta complete
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
And those meddling kids would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling surveillance cameras
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
State troopers injured after they crashed into each other in Chicago. Blues Brothers still at large
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
NYC is making its own coronavirus test with blackjack and hookers
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her father forty whacks. Borden's Museum cash flow became poor, they started offering a night-time tour
source: strangeandcreepy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Nigeria is ramping up its coronavirus response by battling misinformation. Meanwhile the United States has assembled a world-class collection of witch doctors and revival tent miracle workers
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news, gang -- the Dow closed down only 357 points today. YAY
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good news, we can resume using the Downfall meme to compare our bosses to Nazis without fear of getting fired
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Woman accused of stealing $900,000 from Kenny G's dad, leaving family a bunch of sad sax
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Breathless Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fish parasite
source: cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Robbery to do list: Remember to bring bolt cutters, masks, sacks, llama chow, gloves. Wait, what?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Greeks dare to harass refugees in the land of Xena, Warrior Princess
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
This story just reinforces why we have a "Florida" tag, even if the intention was noble
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
The first rule of Student Fight Club is don't broadcast Student Fight Club on Instagram
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Georgians are shocked, shocked I tell you that Gov. Kemp announced the creation of a state coronavirus task force containing actual science-oriented public health officials
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Coronavirus mayhem off the coast of Mexico as 1,000s of 'marooned' cruise passengers on the MSC Meraviglia resort to beating the crap out of each other. Someone's navy may have to come in for some target practice soon
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLFY Eyewitness News)
 
 
 
Out with the friends for a dine and dash, don't leave your ID card on the table. Duh
source: klfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
60-year-old ship captain jumps 40 feet into water to save a drowning woman. Fark: Knocks back a beer afterwards. Just another day
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Experts estimate 18,000 infected in Iran
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
If you're released from prison for armed robbery, it's not a good idea to get in a car with unsecured children, lest you be pulled over by police and arrested again for weapons violations. Right, Florida Man?
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her camel
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Now I'm not saying it's brimstone-farting demons, but it's brimstone-farting demons
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Babysitter turns baby shooter. OK it wasn't a baby but you can't pass up alliteration like that
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
This one tiny pill has turned thousands of people into money-spending, gambling-obsessed, sex-crazed zombies. But boy does it work wonders on depression
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Pink unicorn blow job caught on video. Anime fans need not click
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Hey, fish eggs are all the same. What's the worst that can happen?
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Here's the cat-hoarder/Storage Wars crossover no one asked for
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Proud pig herder Mike Pompeo was understandably confused when he thought Ted Lieu said he lacks a swine
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Paul Bunion claims toe-sucking incident 'a big misunderstanding,' claims he was only looking for his phone, maybe a big blue ox
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Youth pastor is in jail for the reason you might expect. His cunning plan for revenge goes about as well as you might expect, too
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Drunk man arrested for yelling at unoccupied Porsche, in what police no doubt consider some kind of coupe
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
North Korea has figured out how to stop coronavirus but you're not going to like it
source: techtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Canadian family kicked off flight when daughter started coughing, amid growing fears of the spread of the terrifying Canada Virus
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
World Health Organization raises the threat level of Coronavirus to very high. I too would like to be very high
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man driving biatchin' Camaro says Hey man, I got a bunch of blow in this car, I'm gonna go ahead and blast off at 120 mph over this bumpy ass bridge, no one will ever see me, wait WHEW WHEW WHEW aw shiat
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1944, test pilot Hanna Reitsch pitches suicide squad to Hitler, an idea so vile and evil that it would take until 2016 with Jared Leto and Will Smith to successfully pull off
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Serbia is missing thousands of babies from the 1960s on. Dingos not suspected
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is National Sleep in Public Day, so show your patriotism by falling asleep behind your desk like every other day
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Drunk man at a Ruby Tuesday's harasses staff and tries to start a fight, probably because he realized he was at a Ruby Tuesday's
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Boeing decides to run extra loud flight tests in the middle of the night. LET'S SEE IF ANYONE NOTICES
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Dive in people, it's 'global orgy' time thanks to these VR headsets that allow people to engage in carnal pleasures from different continents (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
He's in the Dyson sphere in the sky now
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Google celebrates Sir John Tenniel's 200th birthday today. You could say it's his... bicen-Tenniel. Not that I'd say that
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Tightrope walker Nik Wallenda readies himself to cross active volcano in Nicaragua, says he's ready to sacrifice himself to the God of Fire if he falls
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
'Old Man Steve' become TikTok sensation with cooking videos, stirring rendition of 'Get off my Lawn'
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Having no other stories to cover, we find out why zippers are on different side of clothing for men and women
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Woman suffers third-degree burns saving family from house fire, gets out of skin graft surgery to discover all her belongings have been tossed out
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KREM Spokane)
 
 
 
Isenberg arrested for killing husband with benadryl. Now I for one didn't know that Boyd Crowder's defense attorney was licensed to practice law in Idaho, did you?
source: krem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Photographer documents what it's like to clean up the French Quarter after Mardi Gras
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
38% of Americans won't drink Corona beer due to coronavirus fears. Meanwhile, in a server room in Kentucky, the inevitable sale on Corona beer is eagerly awaited
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Colossal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this squishy flesh suit
source: thisiscolossal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Hong Kong Fluey. Dog tests positive for Covid-19 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Man expected to find squirrels in his attic, finds a homeless guy instead
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Car hits horse, second car stops and woman gets out, third car hits and kills another horse and either the horse or the car hit and kill the woman. The Floridacrats
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Hey, we'll test your meth for coronavirus for free. You can trust us, we're cops
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's infrastructure week in East Houston as a massive water main break causes major flooding, closing roads and stranding drivers. Boil water, y'all
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Panhandle)
 
 
 
Marijuana in bra leads to bigger bust. Damn, if subby'd known this sooner she wouldn't have wasted all that money on silicone
source: mypanhandle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Snek is a hoopy frood that always knows where its towel is
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
America's favorite bridge has a few more inches left in her, yet
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Atlanta lights the Olympic cauldron for the first time since the games. Party like it's 1996
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
There has to be better ways to detach the trailer from the tractor
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stamford Advocate)
 
 
 
I get that you "had a verbal altercation each time before deciding to spray the man on the third pass," but there's ways to repel someone away from you other than using bear repellent
source: stamfordadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 27, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Out on bail following a deadly DUI? A) Stay home, B) Do some Community Service, C) DUI Part Deux. Arizona tag in the works yet, Drew?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
I heard you liked views of houses from your house on Houseview, so we gave your house a house to view
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Streetsblog)
 
 
 
Hoboken decides 20 is plenty
source: nyc.streetsblog.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Old trees at Deception Pass transformed into picnic tables, representing a dangerous new front in the war between the DeceptiConifers and the Autobotanicals
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Today's "employee caught selling stuff from work on eBay" story comes to us from Warrendale, PA
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
Disney World renaming Jungle Cruise to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudwire)
 
 
 
Tony Danza tapdance extravaganza is the name of my new band. eh? What's that you say?
source: loudwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia burns Turkey, hopes yams turn out OK
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
"The Tandoor Mahal: Now 98% cockroach free"
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UC Davis)
 
 
 
Can your dog catch the coronavirus from you? No, and he still waiting on that steak
source: vetmed.ucdavis.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create a cover for a hypothetical Fark yearbook
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
New exhibition showcases historic advertising posters from China. "They missed the whole avant-garde era, the revolutionary European art movements in the 1920s, and got the whole 'when everything is controlled' art movement, which is fascinating"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
OMG, coronavirus might infect your phone or your computer. EVERYBOOMER PANIC
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for dumping bucket of cow manure over victim's head
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KDRV Medford)
 
 
 
Oregon: One man shot and wounded, two men in custody after a contestant picks the wrong door in "Let's Make a Dope Deal"
source: kdrv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
There's arguing with your boss, then there's storming into your pregnant boss' office with a knife threatening to cut out her baby
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dude)
 
 
 
Abide by the savings, man
source: wglt.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
To stay safe from germs while traveling, simply wipe down every surface you come into contact with, and try not to breathe. Or travel
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Good news for 14% of you who will get the Coronavirus, you'll get it again (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Passenger's gas allegedly leads to racist tirade against Uber driver
source: kitchener.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently no one at the Department of Health and Human Services has ever played Pandemic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for unsolicited toe sucking, will now be forever known as Paul Bunion
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these classy skiers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♩ "Mamaaaaa...just got a street. ♩ They named it after me. Come and visit, can't you see." ♩
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
China's government now denies reports of sending ducks to Pakistan, citing common sense. Cute duck meme enthusiasts inconsolable
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Sure I'm a racist, but so is everyone else. And besides, I never bring it up at work, so I'm not resigning. Bailiff, call the next case
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Winchesters are never around when you need them, as a Polish woman goes blind after being possessed by a demon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health24)
 
 
 
So, coronavirus is just ripping off old Star Trek episodes?
source: health24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Much like Subby's bathroom, Swiss town will be uninhabitable for 10 years due to explosive dump
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Surf's up, Yoopers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
What happens if you're a Dick
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
A report from 2018 found that giving kids plain, cardboard boxes make for great gifts. But TV channels, like Nickelodeon and Disney, have known this since the '90s
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Nightmare neighbour found guilty using dog turds, opera music in tandem with a parrot, grease on car bonnets & tacks under the tyres to harass a couple next door over a parking space. Fark: She's 81
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The CDC has fixed the glitch in the Coronavirus testing kits they distributed to labs around the country. WHAT Glitch? Well, never you mind that...it's fixed. Probably
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
California: 28
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nice shootin', Tex
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
There's crimes like Grand Theft, Grand Larceny, and in Illinois, there's apparently also being a Grand Parent
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Researchers looking into why some men kill their entire families are now wondering why all of them don't
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Yeah, about that hearsethief cautioned in tweet by LA County sheriff's against more "bad decisions"? They doubled-down with cataclysmic "rush hour freeway chase"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are the Mighty)
 
 
 
"Don't ask permission, ask forgiveness". Lt. Gen. "Chuck" Pitman, who ignored military protocol, and took part in ending a civilian sniper's deadly rampage, passes away at 84. Semper Fidelis
source: wearethemighty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
On this week's serving of 80's post-punk, new wave, goth, and shoegazy goodness, it's The Soft Boys, Suicide, Pale Saints and more. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like. It's PastFORWARD #122. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Salvation Army effort to end homelessness showing surprising success, although they'd still like you to not put homeless people in their donation bins
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, AIM occupied Wounded Knee, showing a threat that would not be fully resolved until the release of Google Chat, Twitter, and Discord
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Good news if you ever dreamed about sleeping inside a huge elephant at the Jersey Shore
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Looks like Pope Francis may have contracted coronavirus. Yep, we're totally screwed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania woman dressed in Cookie Monster costume overdoses after dropping her child at babysitter. 'Investigators aren't sure why she was wearing the costume.'
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Chernobyl's radioactive "Alienation Zone" threatened by arson, timber smuggling, possibly stalkers and other anomalies
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Paraguay citizens fleeing a cataclysmic war 150 years ago buried gold which still remains hidden. So expect the fake History Channel "gold hunters" to be there next season
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Man learns the hard way not to buy parachutes from ACME, especially from salesmen that appear to be coyotes
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
It's national chili day today. In deference, we will have one minute of flatulence. Times may vary
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How one woman amassed a collection of more than 21,000 banana labels. She's never lacked appeal despite her split personality
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida still preparing to 'spring ahead' years after agreeing to make daylight saving time permanent
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
'It punctured many of our hearts:' Pictou County community deeply impacted by nail-gun crime, activists say. HEY, PHRASING
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Indiana cop handcuffs and jails 15-year-old son to "scare him straight." Bonus: The cop looks stoned out of his gourd in his mugshot
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Can New York stop Weinstein the rapist from turning into another Epstein while in jail? It's not like anything of value will be lost
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
FBI announces the arrests of four members of the violent white supremacist and Fallout cosplay group Atomwaffen including its current leader
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US SEC)
 
 
 
Actor Steven Seagal charged with unlawfully touting digital asset offe... OK, we are *definitely* in the weirdest timeline
source: sec.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Woman starts fight in ball pit with children, grabbing them by the ankles and pulling them back in as they flee. Amateur. She should visit the Politics tab
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Protip: Maybe next time, don't wrap the banana in foil and shove it down the front of your pants before going through the metal detector, Derek Smalls
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oklahoman)
 
 
 
Protesting University of Oklahoma students have three demands: 1) Provost resignation, 2) a new multicultural center, and 3) a Popeye's on campus. Popeye's? That's the hill you want to die on?
source: oklahoman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Like a Reddit AMA come to life, we're about to witness a fight between 100.000 ducks and 400 billion locusts
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Iran: Uh, everything is under control. Situation normal, just canceling Friday prayers in Tehran due to coronavirus. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
On this week's Fark and Schnitt podcast: An interview with Bill Bastone, the founder of The Smoking Gun. Among other things, he discusses their role in busting PrankNet back in the day
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's illegal to destroy saguaro cacti. But they are being removed to make way for the Great Wall
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Congress: Will we have a Covid-19 vaccine? HHS Secretary Azar: Yes. Congress: Will it be affordable? Azar: Whoa, let's not get crazy here
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Man jailed for assuming other people's identities escapes by, well, you'll never guess
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bored Japanese Schoolgirls are waiting to talk to you
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington City Paper)
 
 
 
"Children and plants have been weaponized, and it's drawn the attention of three different government bodies." And you thought your neighborhood Facebook group was crazy
source: washingtoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
As the coronavirus outbreak intensifies, here's some of the history of past pandemics to warm your heart before it goes cold
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Canadian pygmy owl, eh?
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
China takes a lead from Seymour Skinner and employs an army of ducks to help Pakistan with their locust problem. Gorillas on standby
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Task and Purpose)
 
 
 
Marine Corps commandant bans treasonous graffiti
source: taskandpurpose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
UC Davis' community transmission coronavirus patient was denied a test for the virus because the Trump Administration said that they failed to meet the criteria
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Railroad: Let's tear up 19 railroad crossings at the same time and see if anyone notices. City of Tampa: Say what? Florida: CSX can do whatever they want
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The cruise ship megavirus turned away. They should probably change their name. (Seriously, who would take a cruise these days? Fark cruises)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"People don't get it." I wonder why
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you stole a black Lincoln Navigator in the LA area, the police would like you to at least return the corpse in the casket in the back of the vehicle
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Hey, free GPS tracker
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
He's earned his ticket to heaven by giving us the map to hell
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 773: "Silver and Gold". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 26, 2020
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Apparently the dreaded syphilis is responsible for at least three major fashion trends: powdered wigs, codpieces and ...sunglasses. YEEEEEEEEAAAAH
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
I CAN DRIVE 55 over the limit
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
What is today's busy Catholic-on-the-go to do? Introducing "Ash and Dash," coming to a diocese near you
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
They see me rollin' - they bleedin' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Man trimming trees shocked when tree limb falls on power lines. Shocked, I tell you
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Morning America)
 
 
 
Woman videoed making child do push-ups for talking back to her. Surprisingly, no one seems to have an issue with this
source: goodmorningamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It's 5:00 Somewhere: A cocktail born in NYC has become the go to drink on this German island. Pro-ost
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
First apparent community transmission of Wuhan virus identified in the US. Can we call it a pandemic now?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
Boobies
 
Big Soy blames Big Milk for Breast Cancer
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man decides it's okay to drive his Jaguar around town while shooting a needle into his arm
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Security is Clearview's top priority" says the facial recognition company that just lost a bunch of client information in an incident that absolutely no one saw coming
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this (probably) useless button
source: images2.minutemediacdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Denver's Union Station begins process of re-branding to Fark You, I Got Mine Station
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dumbass passes play money $100 bill to dumbass gas station attendant
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Washington cow gives birth to quadruplet calves, which beat 1 in 11.2 million odds to all survive so they can grow up healthy and be eaten
source: thewesterner.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Man pretends to be gay to befriend lesbian, sounds like a 90's screwball romantic comedy. It was nothing like that
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man everyone hates does something nobody cares about
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 17)
 
 
 
The latest thing to protect you from coronavirus? Shave that damn hipster beard
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You can stop worrying. Best Korea has got this
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has spread to all continents except Antarctica; Kurt Russell on standby with flamethrower to do blood tests
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
SETTING: a cavern. In the middle, a cauldron. SECOND WITCH: By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes. SUBBY: All right, are we all ready for this year's Fiction Anthology? This is your Fark Writer's Thread, MacSubby edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VinePair)
 
 
 
Still trying to decide what to give up for Lent? How about, "everything except beer"?
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Going somewhere and don't want to bring your son along? Don't lock him in a closet. That is frowned upon
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Times (China))
 
 
 
Hold on to your pants: Coronavirus can be transmitted by farts
source: globaltimes.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Active shooter at Miller/Coors HQ
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Since it's inevitable at this point anyway, here's the archaeology of Armageddon
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Police searching for suspect in McDonald's robbery. Police on the lookout for a Caucasian male, red hair, wearing horizontal black and white striped shirt, broad brimmed hat, hamburger print tie, and black mask
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bug removal service
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tesla driver killed by Angry Birds
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Utility pleads guilty to Domestic Terrorism. Bonus, who knew there was Pipeline Safety Act? Certainly not subby's wife
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
That fake disability placard isn't fooling anyone
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Police in Moscow have impounded the Batmobile
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Miami cruise ship with 6,100 on board turned away from two ports due to one sick crew member with flu-like symptoms. Will now start plying the Caribbean while everyone dies before turning into a pirate ghost ship
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One Brazilian people now have the corona virus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
If you've always wanted to taste human flesh, climate change might make that happen
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Who farted, y'all?
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Donuts, daytime soaps, automotive recalls, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Feb 16-22: Texts from My Dad Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What in the antisemitic carnival hell is going on in Spain?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scottish farmer fined for punching sheep. This is not a euphemism but it is still baaad
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hong Kong gives residents a penny for the ferryman
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Travel season is upon us, so it's time for the TSA to announce a hiring freeze and cessation of overtime pay
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman hits the deadly disease jackpot, tests positive for both coronavirus and dengue at the same time (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"You wanna get Godzillas? Because that's how you get Godzillas" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National Interest)
 
 
 
Meet the Hedgehog, the British invention that helped the Royal Navy crush Imperial Japan's submarines and repaired Fark's servers at the beginning of April
source: nationalinterest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Idaho Mom, who almost certainly had her ex-husband and brother killed, and more than likely killed her missing children before eloping to Hawaii with a doomsday novelist, wants her bail reduced from $5 million to $10,000 as she's "not a flight risk"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reading Eagle)
 
 
 
Lots of bacon, shrimp on shoplifting menu of woman arrested at grocery store. No word if she also had toothpicks
source: readingeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Miller Lite is offering everyone a free case of beer for Leap Day. Nice of them to offer a competitor's product
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Remember this the next time you go swimming
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein clearly has no damaging information on the rich and powerful as he's housed in a section of Rikers Island where he'll be supervised to prevent suicide. What could possibly go wrong?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today is the 27th anniversary of the 9/11 prequel. Where were you?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Darling let's go for a romantic valentine's day walk through the forest. Great idea love. Eight days later
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Food delivery company DoorDash accused of woke-washing. Woke what? Was the food still hot?
source: sf.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Horse batter, Farkified Olympics logos, virusmageddon and more
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
No marijuana? That's a katana
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Goldfish crackers and windshield wiper fluid are ineffective in religious rituals, especially if the opossum is dead
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Spring is coming early this year. It will be on March 19, the first time since 1896
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Looks like the Air Force and SpaceX are charging up their space lasers together for a 'massive' live fire exercise that will involve ground forces, subs, ships and assorted space assets to shoot down a drone and cruise missile
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Pope to Catholics on Ash Wednesday: For Lent, give up trolling by not insulting people on social media
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Photoshop this futuristic 1962 aircraft
source: media.timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Puppy develops unique bond with his blind and deaf sister. Welcome this adorable pair to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
More and more courses are popping up around the country to teach old people how to spot fake news. OK, Boomers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
In all of the hullabaloo regarding China and the coronavirus, nobody was watching Colorado
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
'We're fine but bored,' says guest in Tenerife hotel in coronavirus lockdown, adding, "We've been through all the PPV porn already and that mini-bar's starting to really call our names"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Florida woman accused of putting boyfriend in suitcase said she was playing hide-and-seek. Uh-huh
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Princess Anne's dog trainer found shot dead at BoJo's old house
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson impersonator agrees to surrender "worlds best grandpa" mug
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
White supremacist mass murderer Dylann Roof staged a hunger strike this month while on federal death row, alleging he's been "targeted by staff," "verbally harassed and abused without cause" and "treated disproportionately harsh." Good
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hi, I won't be coming in to work tomorrow. I have the coronavirus. So if you can just send over the AWOL paperwork that would be just great. Thanks
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Health.com)
 
 
 
Article on how to prepare for Coronavirus. 1. Everybody panic. 2. Everybody panic, 3. Everybody panic, 4. Be realistic, 5. Don't jump to conclusions, 6. Everybody panic and of course , 7. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: health.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you liked leaks to the media
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
It's almost as if all so-called psychics are frauds
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Another week, another refinery on fire. Today it's *spins the wheel* Los Angeles. Hope no one needs to be using the 405 tomorrow morning
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Please do not taunt the herpes monkeys
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
IHOP's marketing is now just getting silly as they changed their name to the International House Of Penis
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Just a reminder to all the upstanding citizens, when "borrowing" your cousin's (1st thru 168th) pants, be sure to check the pockets before any meetings with the boys in blue. No, you can't borrow mine, they're in the wash, all week
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Cincinnati Councilwoman's lawyer "She's had all kinds of challenges in the past and she's risen to face all of them. I don't believe she's done anything unethical or illegal..." - Which is why she's facing up to 50 years in federal wire fraud charges
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 25, 2020
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
God bless the atheist shut-ins, for they doth not bother attending Assembly of God services to do their God thing, and doth not spread COVID-19 to entire flock. Amen
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Fire trucks racing to an emergency cause over $1,000,000 in damages
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Produce truck crashes on I-80, creates nasty jam
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Dammit, the wrong number of chalupas AGAIN"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Latest college admissions scandal sentencing leaves Jim Gaffigan inconsolable
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
World's oldest man aged 112 escalates it quickly just days after claiming Guinness World Record, dies so the next 'World's oldest man' can claim the record
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
After deadly wildfires ravaged the country in 2009, the Australian government offered to buy out homeowners who were in the fire zones and help them move elsewhere. Very few accepted...but the ones that did are all smug as hell right about now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dozens of cases of abuse reported at school for the deaf. Complaints seemed to fall on....something
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
"On-point precedent" means "this exact situation." Apparently, because there's no "on-point precedent" saying you can't, the 5th Circuit says it's OK for guards to randomly pepper-spray someone because a different prisoner pissed them off
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It may be Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day where you live but in these English towns, it's a day for rumbustious "football" matches with loose rules, limitless participants and - in some cases - outright violence
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quora)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme - Blue
source: quora.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
When your secretive cult also happens to be the epicenter of the outbreak of a deadly virus in your country? Well, let's just say we've all seen this movie, and it ends in tears, and pitchforks and torches
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today's forecast is cloudy and cool with a 100% chance of a TV reporter forgetting to turn off his Facebook filters before going live
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
You will not see Jason Bourne's Mother, she will see you
source: wbtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Photos emerge of the U.S. Army's crazy 1,000 mile range artillery piece concept, possibly because they like big guns and they cannot lie
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Scientists identify chemical compound in elderberries that immobilizes flu virus. Also claim it smells like your father
source: returntonow.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Man arrested when his attempt to blow up his car near the Pentagon by lighting a rag inserted into the gas tank was as successful as the guy who burned his lips on the tailpipe
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
The first rule of Teen Girl Mini Fight Club is do not talk about Teen Girl Mini Fight Club
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Student arrested after Long Beach school threat on social media. Details unknown, but it probably wasn't on Twitter since that only lets you get up to 250 characters, and that's not long at all
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Sunday, Fark had magnetic fishing. Monday, it had ice fishing. Maybe regular fishing would be safer. Oh my. This isn't good either
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
"We've got the biggest...balls of them all" Would also have accepted: "Great Balls of Fire"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dead Guy)
 
 
 
"One social media user also notes that "the float was followed by the 'Swinging Epsteins,' which consisted of a bunch of convicted 'Jefferys' walking down the street with nooses around their necks"
source: 971theriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Baboon avoids vasectomy and escapes with 2 baboon females for some copulation. Nothing in that tagline is a euphemism (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some people deserve to be fired. Some of us deserve to have our asses kicked for demanding that someone be fired. This is a case of the latter
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
"Borkholder attempted to castrate himself using a calf bander." That takes some balls, man
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Women who cook while going through their period will be reincarnated as dogs, according to this Hindu clergy, proving that Evangelicals don't have a monopoly on stupidity
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sleeping princess
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
When the call goes out for racy lingerie, the retirement community responds
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to feel like a REAL leprechaun? Well now you can with McDonalds' new Shamrock Shake cup consisting of 18 karat gold and diamonds
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Philadelphia Inquirer)
 
 
 
Doctors reject woman for liver transplant because of excess drinking. Now say apparently her bladder had a drinking problem and was brewing alcohol. Transplant went ahead after they got the bladder into rehab
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The "Airbnb of farmland" hits a snag. Mainly, that they started to act like techbros
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Rocky & Bullwinkle ticked off with New England vampires (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Mullets are making a comeback. Can Sporto boots and denim jackets be far behind?
source: q1041.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1779, the British surrendered Fort Sackville. Those responsible for Sackville were sacked, and the Revolutionary War was completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Weed-loving couple seek quick marriage burnout by having cannabis-themed wedding with special wedding bong to consummate it. Wedding cake was probably devoured before the reception (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
EU's last nickel smelter to be shut down, threatening people's ability to tie onions to their belts and get five bees for a quarter
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
IOC says there's only three months to decide the Tokyo Olympics' fate. In other news, the longest serving member of the IOC is named "Dick Pound". Uh huh huh
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I don't know what a Tik Tok is, but people are touching their mom's boobs now
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Don't know which is worse, that a top official in Homeland Security couldn't find a Covid-19 outbreak map, or that he was too stupid to ask a staffer to find it and instead went on Twitter to lay out his incompetence to everyone
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida cop thinks he's arresting an 8-year-old girl at school. He tells teachers that his youngest arrest is a 7-year-old. They tell him the girl he just put in handcuffs is actually 6, not 8. He replies: "She has broken the record"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♪ Everybody was kung flu fighting. Those viral vectors were fast as lightning ♪
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
CDC warns U.S. citizens that a coronavirus outbreak here is inevitable and everyone needs to be prepared, saying that "this might be bad"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sci Tech Daily)
 
 
 
Hey, maybe we should rethink the acronym we chose for this repository of genetic material
source: scitechdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Iran's Deputy Health Minister just got some real-world Coronavirus experience under his belt
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
"As I was bringing my kids home, my son Timmy looked over and said, dad, there's a car floating in the canal"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Are you just happy to see me or DID YOU JUST STAB ME IN THE ARSE WITH A SYRINGE?? (with video)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Subby is pretty sure that this WaPo writer didn't go to journalism school to cover public peeing during Carnival, having to watch people pee and "wait until they finish their business to approach" for an interview
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
We now take a break from the regular omg we're all going to die coverage of the coronavirus and present this reasoned article that says relax, it's being handled pretty well worldwide
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Protip for FDNY firefighters: Don't go and try to put out a fire in another state when you're blotto drunk after ignoring multiple requests to stay behind the lines and stand down
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Coast Daily)
 
 
 
Arthur, Bertha, Cristobal, Dolly, Edouard, Fay, Gonzalo, Hanna, Isaias, Josephine, Kyle, Laura, Marco, Nana, Omar, Paulette, Rene, Sally, Teddy, Vicky, and Wilfred
source: spacecoastdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
"I'm going to stab everyone on this plane. Then kill myself. I'm Palestinian That's how we get down"
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHYY)
 
 
 
"If the goal at sentencing was simply to lock up those that are at highest risk of reoffending, there is an argument to be made that you should just lock up all teenage boys and throw away the key and let them out when they turn 28 or 30"
source: whyy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The best part of this article about eliminating nj.com's comments section is the comments section
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
4-year-old student finds methamphetamine inside a library book he was returning to school. Says the book kept him up all night, then stole all the copper from the drinking fountains
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
What would $9,000 of Arkansas perfume smell like?
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman keeps low profile behind the wheel by: A) driving topless, B) performing sexual favors on passenger, C) crashing vehicle, or D) all of the above?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Ben Folds reveals the secret to successful songwriting, which subby is assuming for Ben Folds is "let someone else do it"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Students of Lake Superior State University have a new program: cannabis chemistry. Lessons may include: not getting high on your own supply, answering the door for "Dave"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Church that bleeds miracle oil. New and Just As Stupid: Church that produces its own gold. Fark: Two separate churches, same grifter
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Bleeding, screaming man attempted to break into home, and the mugshot suggests he is coming after you
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
You don't need to understand Japanese in order to just say no to flying marijuana monsters and kids with fat sacks of weed in the Tokyo government's new anti-drug video
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