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Sun February 23, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hey, yous wanna buy some bees? They fell offa the back ofa truck
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Sir, off-roading means you drive on dirt roads and such off of a main road. It doesn't mean you literally drive off a road
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
16-year-old poodle takes a free vacation
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Instagram influencer documents her Balinese vacation getaway in excruciating detail, right down to the ALMTJÄRN bath mat, AVESJÖN shower curtain rod, and SVARTSJÖN robe hooks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this festive dog
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Tennessee teaching first graders how to give Narcan for opioid overdoses. Still bans teaching 18 year olds how to use condoms
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
YouTube inspires record number of everyday people to figure out how to install ad blocking software
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Boy tries out his new magnetic fishing pole for the first time. What could go wrong?
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Nine year old hears voices that aren't there and really she isn't crazy
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The latest trend in fashion? Medical facemasks
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Wait ... people are shocked someone rented a $1.5 million mansion on AirBnB and threw a party?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowy statue
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gravedigger)
 
 
 
Uptight cemetery removes gravestone without telling the family. The family's bird-flipping serious now
source: whatliesbeyond.boards.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Airports worry that chaos will ensue this October due to Real ID changes and the usual American ennui
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman knocked unconscious defending her Chinese friend from a group of racist people who don't understand how viruses work
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
There's a world, somewhere, where subby is rich, smart and handsome. This ain't it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♬ The Bug Boat... soon will be making another run / The Bug Boat... promises viruses are all gone / Set a course for adventure, and hope that it won't relapse / Your lungs... won't hurt anymore / After quarantine... off a fearful shore...♬
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
"Cops smirking on the stand at this jury, laughing at the defense attorney, high-fiving in the hallway after testimony as if there were something, anything, to be proud of here." Oh yeah, judge be mad
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing to worry about today ... South Korea just raised their alert to highest level as number of coronavirus cases jump sharply. Nothing to see, move along, everything is just fine
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This guy is either the world record planking champion, or is getting a really uncomfortable prostate exam
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man with 3 DUIs serves his time and moves to Florida and becomes a felon without committing a crime
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
What if ... and hear me out... everyone in jail just has really low blood sugar? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this comfy outfit
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: What's the most unexpected thing you've ever seen someone do at work?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Brooklyn Paper)
 
 
 
Boaters mourn the closure of 50-year-old Gravesend marina. "It's a huge loss for Brooklyn," says man hiding that he owns a boat from his wife
source: brooklynpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ Oh, I would walk 500 miles ♫ ♬ and I would walk 500 more... ♫ ♬ in a Speedo... in Britain... in the winter... through two major storms
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
The Golden Ray sunk in the bay may have to stay. The judge is asking questions about big or small chunks
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Being two academics does not equal real world smarts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"The entrance to a Minneapolis museum has been covered with 2,400 life jackets that refugees once wore"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
Not a repeat from three days ago and we have three days to go
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
But it ain't too goddamn beaucoup
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This strong woman just set a world record by bending eight frying pans in half. She needs to be careful when shaking peoples' hands from here on out
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
Flat Earther becomes flatliner in rocket launch
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Green Bay)
 
 
 
If you've played the game or seen the movie, you should know to collect rings, not hedgehogs
source: wearegreenbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 22, 2020
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Illinois bill aims to remove religious exemptions to vaccination, although certain things can still be done if you discreetly slide your state legislator an envelope full of cash
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Librarian builds children's library by scouring Goodwill
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Everyone who observed the 14 day quarantine period after travel to China to ensure they were free of COVID-19, what did you do in the 13 days after that?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wrangler
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh Zoo is in violation of its lease. Has been in violation for five years. Because elephants
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Hand sanitizer makes poor substitute for soap when washing student's mouth out, Ms. Middle School Science Teacher
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some guy explores an abandoned resort hotel and photographs every room
source: tomslatin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
CDC worries Americans will be too stupid to prevent the spread of Coronavirus
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
For future store decorations, please don't decorate a mannequin with "black face" and then place it next to a hut with African kitchenware. Some people have a problem with that
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this good boy, I mean sand castle
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Bees are being deceptively used to mischaracterize consumer products, torture Nic Cage in neo-pagan rituals, and achieve rare bee-headline trifecta
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Botch the national anthem, go to prison
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man convinces people from all over the country to FedEx tens of thousands of dollars in cash to his motel room to get a virus off their computers
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
TL;DR: Better hope your missing kid is cute
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Good news beer drinking men: drinking beer daily will prolong your life ...as long as you quit to doing all the other stupid sh*t you do while drinking it
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two words: Beer yoga
source: educatedbox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wicker Man)
 
 
 
Oh no, not the bees ... not the bees ... AHHHHHHHHH
source: republicworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
We did the Tide Pod challenge, the wall outlet challenge, now try the skull breaker challenge
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Royal BC Museum)
 
 
 
Photoshop this long-tailed tit
source: clippervacations.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This just in: Cameras are everywhere. Film at 11
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Boy celebrates his 10th birthday. Instead of presents, he asks for donations to a cat cafe and raises over $500. Let's give this kid a round of applause on Caturday
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Enterprising Nevada high school students sell Juul pods and THC-laced food to middle schoolers with predictable results
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Broken ankle? Yup. A need for cheap pills? Need to save some money for your government employees? Yes, yes, YES. Pack the bags kids, we'e going to Teejay
source: gen.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
North Alabama has three big court cases: A thieving sheriff, a murdering cop, and a headchopperoffer
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Alzheimer's Society forgot it paid $1 million to cover up bullying claims
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Help, police, I've been stung by a bee
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
At least they don't have to deal with an HOA too
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Protip: If you've been hired to demolish a certain house, make sure you don't demolish a different one instead
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
Well, at least it wasn't a freaking laser
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 21, 2020
(Vice)
 
 
 
Please be careful the next time you're taking 550 doses of LSD
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Colorado River is drying up. You can't explain that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
McDUI trifecta in play after two consecutive customers fall asleep in the drive thru
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
15th century guide to children's manners includes such guidance as "Pyke notte thy nostrellys", "spette not ovyr thy tabylle" and "chesse cum by fore the, be not to redy". Wise words that we would all do well to heed next time we visit McDonalds
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Britain
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
It's like Trouble with Tribbles, but made out of snow
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"OK, you can have a secret tomb filled with priceless jewels, but we're short on space so you'll have to share" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thing on another thing
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ride Apart)
 
 
 
What's the best way to celebrate four months of sobriety? Not this
source: rideapart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FStoppers)
 
 
 
Farktographers beware: The San Francisco Bridge District is watching you
source: fstoppers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When hiking the Appalachian Trail, watch out for falling trains
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
Boobies
 
Velvet nudes: Great for fapping, but terrible for understanding what women really look like (NSFW)
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
While everyone's freaking out about the coronavirus, 105 U.S. children have died from the plain old flu so far this season
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Squatter wars incident involving abandoned snake. No word on whether the snake is OK
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TechRepublic)
 
 
 
Well sure, but buying it a sheer black lace cover case might be taking it too far
source: techrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(*cough*)
 
 
 
Yes, the current logo already looks like a virus, but we can do better, right?
source: climbing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Jailed British politician asked for almond milk with her first breakfast in jail... "or soya if there's no alternative"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Apparently there are so many wild animals at Hollywood parties that Los Angeles had to ban them
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Looks like someone bought the upgrades in Plague, Inc
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Coronavirus cases in the United States reach 34 including 21 in people "repatriated" by the State Department for some damn reason
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
He who controls the Spice OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO HIS LEG? (disturbing images, plus possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Coronavirus paranoia goes... uh, viral
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man with a motorcycle says, "Hey, I'm going to ride this thing without a shirt on, and why don't I have a baby ride on the gas tank while I'm at it?"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
In your ancestry, the odds are good that the goods are odd
source: advances.sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Four years after California law required police to keep license plate scan data private and secure, police departments are still sharing it with whoever they feel like
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Missing 12 year old is endangered and in possession of a gun. From his pic he also appears to be Holden Caulfield, so watch out
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Iowa Republican wants couples to declare their sexual orientation before getting a marriage license. If only there was some easy way to tell if a couple was straight or gay when they were applying for marriage
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hour)
 
 
 
Wuhan doesn't get the memo and releases new virus numbers way higher than the Beijing official count
source: thehour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The price of a UK first class stamp is to rise by 6p to 76p in March, which begs the question: who the hell still sends letters?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Ya know what. Let's throw a Kama Sutra themed party on Valentines day and put a bed on the dance floor of our bar. What could possibly go wrong
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Scrapyard gets kicked out of city for polluting the air, moves to business-friendly small town, immediately catches on fire and pollutes the air
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jeezum pete, the woker-than-thou are complaining that a show put on by the Fashion Institute of Technology is racist? That's the most ridic-- (reads article) Damn, you people. That's some serious Bob Jones University shiat right there. Duke sucks
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Irish drug dealer lost £46m worth of Bitcoin when the fishing rod case he hid the codes in was incinerated. The brave soul says he has "come to terms with the loss of his fortune and considers it punishment for his own stupidity". Hard to argue
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth on Monday, takes a couple days off, then climbs up and down an exit ramp to rescue a guy, who is literally on fire, FROM A TANKER-TRUCK FULL OF BURNING JET FUEL. So, what did you all do this week?
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Dog rescued from deep inside meat plant 'processing pit' REALLY wanted steak
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Drunk babysitter pulled over with multiple sleeping kids in the trunk and back seat, but luckily they were only going 97 MPH while in Kentucky, which is only illegal if you get caught, am I right?
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
SleazyJet
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Police find more than five tons of drugs in homemade submarine off the coast of Panama and arrest four Columbian citizens. They tow the three tons of drugs back to land where the submarine and one ton of the drugs now sit at port
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this car to make it more appropriate for America
source: motorbiscuit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cop busted for DUI tries name-dropping, forgets her fellow officers have body cameras
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Man who sucker-punched cop while wearing Jesus costume sentenced to 270 days in jail
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
CDC: We advise in the strongest possible terms that you do not fly those Americans infected with coronavirus home to the United States. State Department: Relax, sugartits. We got this
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
More and more bosses are giving the four-day work week a try. Not yours, though
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel News Asia)
 
 
 
Indonesian minister tables cunning plan to reduce the number of poors
source: channelnewsasia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Tanker truck crashes and burns on Indiana highway, paves the way for the Highway to Hell
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"How do you do, fellow kids"?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Mercedes dealership holding fire sale
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Smoking marijuana won't lead to violence, thinking someone stole your marijuana on the other hand
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
We deliver you this letter to inform you that it is too dangerous to deliver you letters. Sorry
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Woman attacked by a bear and saved by her dogs describes the whole ordeal in a book. When asked what the hardest part of her recovery was, she said it was dealing with her insurance company
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
The grateful nation of China rewards the families of doctors who died fighting the coronavirus how much? Tag is the clue
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Ukelele-wielding menace bashes Banana Man then splits
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
When police arrived ... they determined the woman had not been shot, but stung or bitten by some type of insect
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Amber alert issued for Tennessee child last seen . . . in December
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri Republicans propose letting your boss dictate your medical decisions
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 20, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
What makes people happier than money? Yale and Oxford scientists have the answer. *skims article* Don't bother reading, it doesn't apply to us, its just exercise
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
No matter how much encouragement you get gravity will still foil the best of plans ( w/ video )
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
University of Southern California doesn't wait for Bernie or Liz; announces students from low-income families can attend tuition-free starting in the fall
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Britain's oldest woman is latest victim of the deadly 'oldest person curse' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seattle sees the sun for the first time this decade, signifying six more weeks of ennui
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
When you were a kid, did you ever wish you could drive a Lamborghini? Well, hopefully you didn't do what these kids did
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Human brain suffers seizure at US-Canada border
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mystery bidder at property auction snaps up single-room second floor apartment in Cambridgeshire with a river-facing frontage and far-reaching views. the price? £1. The catch? There is no way of accessing the property from any direction
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Photoshop this modern speaker
source: miro.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
An attempt was made
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Socialites who drove Mercedes off ferry found in Death's embrace, as well as each other's
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Streetsblog)
 
 
 
Not news: About two pedestrians a day are killed in car crashes. News: Across the entire US. Fark: While inside buildings
source: usa.streetsblog.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Zuck-bot coolant leakage detected: EMERGENCY PROTOCOL. Activate peon maintenance worker subroutine PIT_DRY_ALPHA
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
102 year old World War II veteran forces burglars out of his house and off his lawn
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man who did good things in a bad place set to be executed. Holy shirtballs, this is an ethical clusterfork
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Man sentenced five years for attempting to start transgender flamewar
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Do people eating too loud drive you crazy? Here comes the science
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man caught trying to steal goats pretended to be drunk. Field sobriety test proved he was just an idiot
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
San Dimas Sheriffs seek public's help identifying serial lottery thief. One time-traveling phone booth and this guy wouldn't need to steal anything
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abandoned theater
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
"I'm Sy Sperling, and I'm no longer a client"
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for fourth DUI tells cops just how high he is
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Airbnb host finds drugs, knives and blood stains after two-day room rental, which sounds like one hell of a party
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Kentucky Fark-ready Headline: Parent upset after teacher corrects student on "proper" usage of N-word
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Button mushroom" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Social networks, dating, blue tits - you'd think this article has it all but this ain't Avatar
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
Please be on the lookout for a 260 pound Jack Russell
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not News: The 80-year old Prime Minister of Lesotho has announced he's stepping down at the end of July due to his age. Fark: he failed to mention the "and because I'm about to be charged with murdering my wife" part
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Internet bullying dates back at least to Prodigy. Surprisingly it wasn't related to making fun of people who used Prodigy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
It's all drunken fun and games at Mardi Gras in New Orleans until you get killed by a float at one of the parades by tripping over it
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Oh Canada: How's it goin' eh ? Eh is going away
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Getting married soon but absolutely HATE wearing high-heels? Converse has a solution for you
source: buzznick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Get married in Hell for free on leap day
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Yep, that's the face of an Oklahoma woman who's been in a wild, cross-county police chase
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: The Secret Service. New Hotness: Monkey Police (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Trapped paraglider rescued from power lines, with the most 'I've made a terrible mistake' video you'll see today
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
There's road rage, and then there's road rage between U.S. and Russian military forces
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So just how much is Bezos' $10 billion pledge to fight climate change actually worth? Think somewhere on the scale between that time you posted in green text to show solidarity with the Arab Spring and that time you dumped ice water on your head
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
It appears that young children have some sort of natural resistance to Coronavirus. So I guess we should, like, start drinking their blood or something
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Confused about whether you should hate bats or pangolins more for causing Coronavirus? Why not hate them both. Also, what's a pangolin?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
"All this for just a DUI and smoking a little marijuana. I hope you are happy with yourself," said the 68-year-old after a 15-mile, 20 mph chase involving seven police cars
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this group discussion
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
BYU eliminates "homosexual behavior" from its list of banned conduct in its revised Honor Code
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
School children given list of 101 alternatives to having sex. Includes going for walks, holding hands, sucking toes, sending flowers... wait a minute
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Hottest London fashion trend for women: the unibrow
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Movies, music, a little bit of history, and where Florida Man didn't take his date are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Feb 9-15: Fractions Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Experts discuss and answer the coronavirus questions you're too afraid to ask
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOC Savannah)
 
 
 
Three charged after 11-year-old gives birth in Missouri bathtub
source: wtoc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Mask bandits make off with
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Amsterdam wants to move the Red Light District indoors, which is good news for ROOOOOOOOXANNE
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Landscape photographer of 2019 named, Portrait results coming soon
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
PSA: Please don't try to microwave an entire package of Oreos (with pics of results)
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Instead of spending downtime in the firehouse brushing their mustaches or watching movies, Shawnee firefighters sit down at the sewing machine to repair their bunker gear, saving department time and money
source: amp.kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
From the "Who could have seen that coming" files, apparently quarantining an entire cruise ship creates a floating "petri dish" of infection
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 772: "In Deep Shadow 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 19, 2020
(Komo)
 
 
 
Police chief deemed obsolete, asked to turn over his equipment on the way out. Walks a mile home in his tighty whiteys. Fark: in a snowstorm
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Hidden in the bankruptcy filing of the Boy Scouts of America is an 80-day limit on filing sexual abuse claims against them. A Scout is .......... thrifty
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The boathouse in Hereford, whatever the color, is under water
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSYX ABC6 Columbus)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like Old School so here's an article and some pictures about a purse from the 1950's found at a school
source: abc6onyourside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Big Balls Creek fire was arson. Uh huh huh
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Malaysia's former PM says they never ruled out a 'murder-suicide plot' by flight MH370's pilot. He then refused to comment on any possible alien abduction/probing, Bigfoot/feet on the passenger manifest, and reverse vampire echo-location
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Humane Society director wants you to give your cats autism or something
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: She reclined her seat...
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this herd on high
source: media.gqjapan.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Hi, you look really pretty today. Have a seat on that black leather couch while I set up this camera"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
You like sex, any kind of sex, right? Florida needs your help.... There will be sex
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sadly it's time to reset the cuckoo clock
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Goofus fights with airline passengers frustrated by crying baby. Gallant preemptively hands out candy and ear plugs (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
These guys were vegans before it was cool. Your dingo still wants steak (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Three Florida guys rob a drug store of $320,000 in pills, take precautions like wearing gloves so they don't leave prints, but toss empty pill bottles out the window of their getaway car, which the cops follow like bread crumbs to their front door
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
EU tells Britain to return its marbles. Joke's on them, Britain lost them 4 years ago
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Good news for ducks: China just sent an army of 100,000 ducks to their border to fight the locust plague from Africa. Bad news for ducks: Don't expect this army to retire anywhere other than the kitchen in the near future after getting fattened up (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
One of you Farkers in Kenosha, Wisconsin is going to be getting that package a little later than you thought. You know which one
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When reporting on a man who doused his wife and children in gasoline and set them alight, perhaps avoid the phrase "showered them with love"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Vampires" want to help other "vampires" plan their weddings
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this roller
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Heat-trapping methane gas emissions from oil and gas exploration and your husband's butt have been underestimated by up to 40%
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Man dressed as Jesus handcuffed, kicked out of mass at Philly cathedral for not being Jesus enough. Sad part is he goes by the name 'Philly Jesus'
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I dunno, I never turned into Han Solo like I wanted. This is your Fark Writer's thread, pretentious edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Rarely is the question asked: Is our teachers learning?
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Please note: wait until the ferry comes to a complete stop before driving off of it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
62-year-old sets Guinness World Record for longest plank. You read that wrong the first time
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
....because it is not a burglary unless you squirt ketchup everywhere
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Trump "allegedly" offered to pardon Julian Assange if he covered up Russia's interference in the 2016 US election. This is fine
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, we became who we hated
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1847, the ill-fated Donner Party was rescued from the Sierra Nevada Mountains, proving that a short cut can end in long pig
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Cheese puff thief arrested in only five minutes. Stoners everywhere sigh in relief
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
Boobies
 
Naked ten-pin bowling. Subby will NOT be attending. There's no-one on the planet that needs to see that
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sheriff says that three bodies found near a cemetery in southern California were "a message". Clearly a perp having a hard time expressing himself who needs to learn that a text, or a handwritten letter are more concise than a triple homicide
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Drew and Todd discuss the first few actually funny Corona Virus stories we've seen, plus all about radar detectors in Pennsylvania and how that ties into Italian tourism traffic scams. Bonus: what's funnier than a toilet in the middle of the road? You can probably guess it
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you can get past Hitler the cat, UK's grumpiest pub owner will let you have a pint for your thirst. You'll have to serve yourself as this old grump couldn't care less and just wants to drink alone
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
DARPA wants $13 million for "project Gunslinger" which aims to develop "an unmanned flying gun" Spoiler alert: it's basically the A-10 as a drone
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Naked man scrambles eggs
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
We don't have to worry about security. Nobody could steal a giant machine like this from under our noses
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fisherman catches record fish that... wait, nope. Sorry, not a record, buddy, since you caught it on a Friday
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Local students enlisted to assist with 'super flush' at Texas Rangers' new stadium. A mission to flush all of the stadium's toilets at once. No word yet on whether they all had to make a deposit first or if it had to go all the way to the cafeteria
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is National Lash Day. On the bright side, every other day is Rum and Sodomy day around here
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unilad)
 
 
 
♫gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz♫ HONEYBEAR GET DOWN ♫gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz♫ PAWS ON THE FLOOR ♫gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz gruntz♫
source: unilad.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Operator: 911. What's your emergency? Mom: Hungry baby. Cops: We've got this
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Store manager quits in protest at the introduction of barcodes in her store. No word yet of her opinions on electricity, telephones and horseless carriages
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Vegans need their own shelf in the office fridge" narrowly edged out by "says she finds it easier not to mention that she's a vegan" as the least likely thing in this article
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Fair Isle is a small island off the coast of Scotland. It is famous for a unique style of knitwear. The BBC thinks that the style is "in fashion". Subby thinks they may have not understood the definition
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Man, how crazy is it that this hot wannabe Instagram model totally forgot she'd put fake tan on her boobs before breastfeeding her baby and the fake tan came off and stained her baby's face? Crazy, huh? Gosh, I hope no local news hears about this
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dedicated shepherd
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Chris Evans got his dog Dodger a version of THAT sweater From 'Knives Out'. Dodger ecstatic, but still wants steak for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
"Ish Unconshtatooshnal"
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's not a real date night until there is gunplay and a foot chase
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
Another tourist medals in "Spontaneous Highway 1 Flugtag"
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reporting for NPR: Teens are using flavored vape pens
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
WHO says self-treating Coronavirus is an eminence front, states you better bet that vaccines are on trial and they won't get fooled again over this disease
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your fat kid is?
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After so many rejections, I just know for certain this will be greenlighted
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Hand whacked at Handy Wacks
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Why don't people in the UK use meth? Because it doesn't make you want to OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
There's now only corn in Indiana
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Oregon comedian sneaks out of quarantine, lies to officials, flies back to US because he had a "important speaking engagement". But hey, he felt ok
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 18, 2020
(Brainerd Dispatch)
 
 
 
He drove a school bus for 55 years, when he passed it was only fitting that he leave in a school bus casket
source: brainerddispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Well, that's one way to fail a driving test
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Actual quote from the National Weather Service: "We have accepted our fate and are preparing for the second coming of Cthulhu"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Inactive Bulgarian land mine causes parking lot closure at Montana State University"
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this appreciator of art
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Company will print your face on a mask so you can unlock your phone without getting coronavirus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Is that a bullet under the bandage the doctor at the hospital gave you or are you just happy to see me?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Dog owners nominate man who invented hands-free poop bag holder for MacArthur Genius Grant. "It's great to have my hands back," says one of them
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Researchers eager to get in on that hot coronavirus pandemic action decide to uncover a medieval Black Death mass grave
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"If you find it in your house, call us and we'll come to you. Please don't put it in your car"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man learns the perils of walking around drunk with no pants in a trailer park
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The sleep tracker you wear as part of your quest to achieve a good night's sleep is the main thing preventing you from getting a good night's sleep
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Woman says Amazon's vibrator damn near wrecked her from reaching the promise land because she couldn't walk, but that it's still a 'gift from God'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bite)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frost bit
source: shortreads.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Soulless ginger that spat on a police officer has a mugshot pretty much like you'd expect
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hey China, what's with all of these re-education camps? "They were invited. Punch was served"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Facebook 'North Carolina Breaking News' page shares fake stories about Winston-Salem police; admins answer in Russian, police say
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Security guard shoots man after gun comes out, possibly because it's much more difficult to do it before that
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
List of which celebrities were searched for most on their site highlighted in Pornhub's "Year In Review." Creepy: Most of the results are for non-consensual deepfake porn. Awkward: Which is against Pornhub policy
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
"To the person who helped themselves to Red Bull at the store without paying, you dropped your phone at the scene. Wanna trade?" - Southbury Police Department
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYT Santa Barbara)
 
 
 
"The Santa Barbara Sheriff's Office would like to remind the community that the process of extracting oils from cannabis is not only illegal but extremely dangerous." Thank you, Sergeant Stadanko, we'll make a note of that
source: keyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Psychologist's study hypothesizes geeks are drawn to sci-fi to cope with life's disappointments and to evade the real world. Subby wonders what real jobs the authors tried to evade when they decided to write this psychology study
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Above or below the Mason-Dixon Line? " A woman is facing assault charges after she was arrested for allegedly stabbing a family member on Sunday. According to arrest records, the woman and the victim have a sexual relationship and live together"
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
China's Coronavirus Hospital has an opening for director
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Boobies
 
Women of the year who don't like to wear clothes. Some images seem to have broken instagram. NSFW ... I repeat ... NSFW
source: smokeroom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Sixty-one years ago last month, the then youngest pair of spree-killers in the US started their murderous journey killing 11. Today, one of the killers will ask Nebraska today for a full pardon, while a member from subby's family will oppose
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
When redesigning license plates for your province, best check with police on whether they are going to be readable at night
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Have no fear, America. The charge against the coronavirus is being lead by that bastion of modern epidemiology - Nebraska. No, seriously
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Cool grandma lets her grandkids smoke weed as long as they don't record themselves smoking it. You'll never guess what happened next though
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If you are looking to further your studies on Hillbilly-American Speechifying, this video may be of great use to you. Bonus: Bees
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Man crashes rocket sled at 241 MPH, walks away unhurt, blames being distracted by something his stuffed tiger said in the third panel
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Explosion in 3,2,1..."oh crap" Mover over Pisa, Dallas now has a leaning tower
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
One would have to wonder why a man with a 'Crime Pays' forehead tattoo keeps getting arrested
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Syrian refugee flees war torn hellscape and settles in to his new home of Baltimore
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Verizon tells identity theft victim to claim thief's phone charges on his income taxes
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
'Surveillance video shows pot shop owner use bear spray to thwart armed robbery' Harsh, Man
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Conspiracy theorists now have the weather gods up against the wall after 'weather control weapon' exposed in Syria with mystery sky pattern caused by invisible aircraft
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these illuminated kitchen shelves
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Fark fark fark fark fark
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Woman claims man kidnapped her, forced her to watch 'Roots' to 'understand her racism'
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifewire)
 
 
 
The 2020 awards are in and Fark maintains its precarious hold on Fourth Best News Aggregator, for some reason. Subby thinks the judges are all drunken, psycho goat humpers who project their neurosis on to others. But hey, we work with what we have
source: lifewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Celebrity therapist, a former Playboy model, whose specialty was helping clients end and escape violent relationships before it's too late...well, since you're reading this on Fark
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The Earl of Dumpsville (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCJB Gainesville)
 
 
 
Gainesville doctor's hobby sets tongues wagging
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
News: Child calls 911. Fark: Because her parents cut off her cell phone. Asinine: "Child" is 36 years old
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHK World (Japan))
 
 
 
Coronavirus crisis in Japan enters "new phase," as new cases can't be traced to Wuhan and preventive treatment doesn't seem to be preventing infections. Summon Gamera?
source: www3.nhk.or.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, bankrupt, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Captain Jones gobbles turkey giblets. Priscilla Alden does the nasty
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
When you finally remember that time you took acid with your hubby in the '70s and ended up in Finland
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRIS Corpus Christi)
 
 
 
Let's see what's exploding and burning in Texas today. Ooooh, nice tower of fire there
source: kristv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 17, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Christian Witches Convene Coven, Confer, Conference, Conjure
source: activistmommy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Three people murdered in Perris, CA; local efficiency experts named as prime suspects
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
After anti seizure medication used by small children goes up 97,500% in price, Georgia town sues the drug manufacturer. Subby hopes they win
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ryan Newman rushed to hospital after fiery crash late in Daytona 500. He is in serious condition with non-life-threatening injuries
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
The Coronavirus is a bad thing, but what's that got to do with the price of lobster in Florida, you ask?
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The fast and the permitted
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In a protest against the destruction of nature, Extinction Rebellion destroy some nature
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this historic tree
source: images.emlcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
American Airlines employee failed breathalyzer because of Keto diet. Yes, the special kilo of booze Keto diet
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Back from the mini-hiatus, Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) picks up with 2 hours of songs whose titles begin with "S"
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Finally, something new for country singers to sing about
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
A parable for your future aviation career... and the entire industry
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Florida man gets naked to escape DeLand store; ribeyes fall out of his pants." Florida tag falling over itself to get to this one
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
"I'm Not Touching You", Cold War edition
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Jeff Bezos says he's emptying his pockets and car's ashtrays to fight climate change
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This is not your ordinary jetpack
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
'Ghost ship' finally finds the end of the world in Ireland, washes ashore after spending more than a year at sea, taking in the Americas, Africa and Europe
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this work of romantic art
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Assault weapons ban gets banned in Virginia
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man stumbles his way past security at condo tower, ends up in $4 million penthouse owned by Taylor Swift's dad
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Pornhub stars shoot sex scene in public library just yards away from students - but incredibly, the X-rated video doesn't feature a librarian
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Good news, Jägermeister fans: Swiss supreme court rules you can still marvel at the Christian cross on the bottle when you're worshiping the porcelain god
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: jewel heists. New hotness: Well, you'll see (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cool
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
We can actually just fill that cavity in with a midsize sedan
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Icy morning equals warming your car equals free car for the taking, season
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
After spending more than a decade in prison, man A) joins a gang, B) sells drugs, C) Starts a coffee chain that employs people with 'barriers to employment.' Wait, looks like its both B and C
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Mother Nature will dam well do what she pleases
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cities are considering free transportation to the public despite rising costs. How can this be done?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The seas you would call "so this is it, we're going to die," the Scotsmen call "a wee biatchoppy"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida nonprofit somehow profited enough to pay CEO $7.5 million
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Police arrest a man for being drunk and toss his ass in jail. Difficulty: What the cop called "drunk," the medical experts would call "having a stroke"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Too bad they cause cancer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meditator
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Evacuated cruise ship passengers test positive for Coronavirus. So great job, U.S
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Crack cocaine addicts were thugs to be imprisoned. But opioid addicts are all "mentally ill"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOBI 5)
 
 
 
Idaho wants to become the dumbest shaped state
source: kobi5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chinese so successful at stopping the spread of Covid-19 in Hubei province that they've banned the use of private cars there until further notice
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Police prevent five tons of cocaine from reaching the Netherlands, vow to find out who in Costa Rica was responsible for sending the four tons of cocaine, vowing to punish the drug smugglers to the fullest extent of the law for trafficking three tons
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Indian pricipal caught sayof used sanitary napkin, orders them to show vagene to find the culprit
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When the weather doesn't cooperate, many ski resorts manufacture snow. This French ski resort has real snow flown in
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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