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Sun February 02, 2020
(infonews.ca)
 
 
 
Today's Fark ready headline: "Man in Speedo caught on video waterskiing streets of Fernie"
source: infotel.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Wily coyote who attacked a Chicago boy being rehabilitated and shows no signs of its old behavior, claims Acme representative
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Milan banned driving today unless you are disabled, have an electric car, or are headed to the football game
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You know what would make the coronavirus outbreak even better? A sudden outbreak of bird flu in its epicenter. Awesome
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create your own coronavirus mask
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How can we sleep when Tuggeranong's burning?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PaPost)
 
 
 
Dumb: 2 years ago, a woman steals $100 worth of groceries. Fark: She is sentenced to between 10 months and 7 years for it. Ultrafark: She's a cancer patient with a month to live. BeyondFark: Lt. Governer personally pays the $100 back
source: papost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Pope Francis continues to practice what he preaches
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
♬ I wanna be, where the mer-dudes are. I wanna see, see their mer-moobs bouncin'... ♬
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating bedside table
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Paris will be completely rebuilt (this is not a repeat from 1853)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
By Jove, it's time to reset old Big Ben, my dear old chap
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
AP now running a column on Top Ten Fake News Stories of the Week as a public service. Good on them It turns out that drinking Chlorine Dioxide to cure Wuhan plague isn't a very good idea. It WILL stop the virus by killing you
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Someone edited US Senate's Wikipedia page in a fairly savage way
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Fist possible case of coronavirus hits New York City. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you had the Philippines as the first corona virus fatality outside China, come claim your prize: a Costco can of Lysol and a hazmat suit
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this surreal chair
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: the moment your faith in humanity was restored. "So shines a good deed in a weary world"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Today is a really rare Palindrome 02-02-2020. The last time this happened was 909 years ago
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
New driverless buses are expected to greatly improve the efficiency of killing pedestrians
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
What happens in Seattle stays in... Vegas or something like that
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Canadian wildlife officer: "Two bucks says I can make that shot"
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Remember those courthouse burglars that turned out to just be infosec pen testers and a lot of farkers said they screwed up and were wrong? Charges were dropped
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Are you my mummy?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Sometimes when the fat lady sings it's to the tune of Yakkity Sax
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 01, 2020
(Komo)
 
 
 
Have you ever considered upgrading from a keyboard camping cat to screen licking doggo?
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Homeowners: We have some water pooling under our unit. HOA: We'll have Louie run a hose down there. You good. Homeowners: There's now a sinkhole, 17,000 gallons of water a day bubbling up and our house is red tagged due to water damage and mold
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
You may find yourself hitting a semi truck. And you may find yourself in another part of the world. And you may find yourself in the engine compartment of a large automobile. And you may ask yourself, "well, how did I get here?"
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
Video
 
La La La I can't hear you, La La La I can't hear you. I present to you the most patient policeman ever. Honestly subby would've been tazing by the five minute mark
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Karma Catalytic Converter is the name of my Industrial Boy George tribute band
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
I 85 in Atlanta is on fire. Again
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IKEA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this three door wardrobe
source: ikea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
The largest Ponzi scheme in Pennsylvania history: a) involved a creamery, b) victimized Mennonites and the Amish. c) was "only" $60 million or, d) all of the above
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Arizona HOA reverses course regarding fines for criticizing board members on social media. They still show their true colors to media after meeting
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Inter Lake)
 
 
 
Female firefighter fired for fitness photos
source: dailyinterlake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The guy who blew the lid on the coronavirus, that very same guy that the cops came down on and accused of lying about it? That guy? Yeah, he has coronavirus
source: sixthtone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dusty situation
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Oregon Department of Transportation finds a new use for dynamite
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Facebook: Fark your feelings, freedom of speech is protected
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Texas woman wins winter trip to Buffalo. No report on the number of entrants
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Terrible bar? Or BEST BAR EVAR?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Udder chaos in Texas as cow brings it on on Rodeo Street in Fort Worth
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Man had big Fireballs in his pockets
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Your Dog Wants To Move North)
 
 
 
Despite making it illegal for veterinarians to report suspected animal abuse, Kentucky is no longer the worst state in the country for animal protection ... thanks to Mississippi
source: nkytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Colorado red flag law results in arrest warrant... for woman who tried to use it to have someone's guns taken away
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Middle schooler tries one strange trick to cheer up 94 year old. You won't believe what happens next
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
One billboard near Manchester. Single man looking for a date follows up on idea he had in the pub
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop Japanese virtual singer Hatsune Miku
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Fukushima radioactive water should be released into ocean, say Japan experts who have never watched a Godzilla film
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
To boldly go where no cat has gone before on Caturday
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia shuts down everything. Also no one is allowed in from China unless they are an Australian citizen
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Al Qaeda leader arrested after being discovered in desert location. Fark: Arizona
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Hot, humid weather in Tasmania brings cockchafers, your momma
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Now that's an upgrade
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jefferson City News Tribune)
 
 
 
Man arrested for firing a stolen handgun into the air to break up a fight. Fark: at a funeral
source: newstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"There's been an accident, somebody call an ambulance" "Way ahead of you"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
City shuts down 18 massage parlors. Were they illegal? Well, that's the rub
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Thieves steal $20K worth of hair extensions in smash-and-grab raid. See, that's why you need better locks
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 31, 2020
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Give me your burger and you can put your hotdog in my taco
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Man wakes up and finds his Rolex, iPhone, and cash missing. Kidneys fortunately still intact
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio 1190 KEX)
 
 
 
Still looking for Agent Penis
source: 1190kex.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Yeah, so no panicking or anything but the CDC just ordered a 14-day federal quarantine for all 195 US citizens who came back to the US on Jan 29th on a plane that origanted in Wuhan, China. First federal quarantine in over 50 years, BTW
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
"Florida Man: The Cartoon." No, not the kind you watched as a kid while eating cereal. In fact, there should probably be a censor on these comics
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digg)
 
 
 
Want to honk your horn like a jerk while stuck in traffic? Good, we'll just hook up a decibel meter to the traffic signal to reset the timer on the red light
source: digg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
ATM seizes stolen bank card. Man extracts revenge
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Residents of Minden, WVa are dying. Not in that existential "we're all dying a little bit every day" way, but in the blotchy lesions-and-tumor riddled-organs that-eventually stop-working way"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Toxicology reports show that the driver of a Porsche that launched into the air and crashed through the second floor of a building was significantly impaired. You don't say?
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K again
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Peppa Pig will have a new voice, still be terrifying
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this white tower
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New Russian sport, 'dodge falling stadium debris' may not be included in the next Olympics
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHEC Rochester)
 
 
 
And if you can't make it there, you're gonna head out to anywhere, it's up to you, New York, New York
source: whec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Two coronavirus cases confirmed in UK on Brexit Day, formally signalling the start of Coronexit
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Run silent, run high (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Put down your drink and move your lunch away so you can read this article about Weinstein's "deformed genitals"
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Won't someone think of the Meghan Markle lookalikes?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Here's a good reason why you should never store cleaning solution in an alcohol bottle
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Hold my bong I'm going to Mars. Wait, hold on ... I need my bong, there's weed growing on Mars
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Shots fired at White House South. SUV breeches security. Two in custody
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If emotional support animals are banned from planes, some people say they'll stop flying. Good. Your crap is fake anyway
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man accused of attacking bus passengers with bottle of vodka. No word if there were any shots
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Jesus among 27 arrested for soliciting sex from minors in metro Phoenix
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Animals as humans and vice-versa
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Reason 50,844 to leave Florida: "wild herpes monkeys"
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
How to reduce your pet's carbon footprint? Number one: don't let him drive your SUV
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Chun-Li cosplayer trades her costume, her workout, and her attributes for a career treating Coronavirus patients
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Life is short. Have an affair. Be sextorted five years later
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man runs from a crime scene so fast that his clothes fly off, police are able to catch him from DNA they find in his sock
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
UC Berkeley claims it's perfectly understandable to be frightened of Asians during this outbreak of Coronavirus
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"Make Yourself at Home Bandit" formally charged. Indictments still pending for Pull Up a Chair Bandit, Stay A While and Listen Bandit
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"People's Park" reopens after getting rid of the people
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Who in this crazy world let Arthur Brown teach students?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Woman gets probation for naming the dog "Dingo"
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Let's get to the bottom of one of life's greatest mysteries: does Stuart Little drive a toy car or a miniature actual car?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
America's housing shortage is getting worse, and Leon's getting larger
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Kid killed at bus stop after being struck by car. School district installs picnic tables at bus stops. Florida Kids: We'll just keep sitting in the street, thank you very much
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Former Deadspin writers to come alive again after spinning in their graves and reuniting to write some Super Bowl content this weekend on aptly named "Unnamed Temporary Sports Blog Dot Com"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Cops seize 275 pounds of pot "before they contaminate the streets of Staten Island." Thanks for bravely saving us from a dead plant
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Note to self: Do not storm the cockpit while yelling about God. Salute to the passengers that took him down
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yale University)
 
 
 
Students don't like school. Ric Romero reports
source: news.yale.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1945, Pvt. Slovik proved that anything is possible if you try, try, and try again, even if what you're trying to do is to be executed for desertion
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Almost half of the firearms seen by the ATF in Los Angeles are 'ghost guns.' Well, what do you expect after you kill the guns?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Anti-circumcision protesters stage at Florida intersection with signs and bloodstained crotches, although some observers say they're just making a mountain out of a mohel
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Woman not arrested despite refusing to prove her children are still alive after no one has seen them for 4 months and fleeing the state to avoid talking to investigators
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC decides to fix the always congested BQE by removing one lane of traffic in each direction
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
SF and KC mayors make traditional friendly Superb Owl wager. If the 49ers win, KC will send BBQ, beer, knickknacks, and t-shirts. If the Chiefs win, SF will send homeless encampment poo, syringes, smug, and Mark Zuckerberg
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Apparently a herd of hippos growing from 4 to 80 is a bigger problem than the country of Colombia is able to handle
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
♪ I ♪ immediately ♪ regret ♪ this ♪ decision ♪
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
Matt Damon cosplayer banned from local high school
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Judge says he's sorry for 'regular white man' comment. No word if he plans to upgrade to unleaded white man or perhaps premium
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
A 52-year-old woman accused of biting off 1-inch piece of her 68-year-old friend's tongue while kissing. Authorities say he might not make it to 69
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
YaD drawkcaB lanoitaN si yadoT
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
As if we need another reason for hating Daylight Savings Time, researchers find that it's linked to more fatal car crashes
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
New Sheriff claims that no matter what it looks like, he's not simply hiring his friends, even though what it really looks like is that he's just rehiring all the people who were fired for cause
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Whether you like it or not, you know the words to "Livin' On A Prayer," so enjoy this video of a man on a park bench passionately belting it out
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Just your normal living art parade, until...
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Video of fast moving street lights captured in the skies above SoCal
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
Apparently even lawyers can't work more than 24 hours in a day. Or at least bill for it, anyway
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Monkeys are being kept as children and taken for rides in supercars. Pray. For. Chico (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Britain's most hated woman unwittingly experiences platinum level trolling
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Free Europe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these boaters
source: gdb.rferl.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Hey world guess what concerning the deadly Coronavirus? Patient Zero is A-OK and chilling out now according to China, who have just paraded him before the cameras. Now go back your daily apocalyptic lives
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleeping Computer)
 
 
 
Fear of the Corona virus is now infecting your computer
source: bleepingcomputer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man who surprisingly looks nothing like Nicolas Cage found guilty of trying to steal Magna Carta
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Do not fark with Minnie Mouse
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Would you adult better if you got these cool merit badges?
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Punxsutawney Groundhog Club to PETA: how about NO? Does that work for you?
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Suddenly, deer
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Man goes digging for digging for keys in couch cushions, turns into Samuel L. Jackson
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
The FCC wants to fine a robocaller $13M, removing one of Ajit Pai's demerits. Granted, he's still at 22 million demerits, but it's a start
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
FICO has altered your credit score. Pray it does not alter it any further
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Abandoning that whole "making medicine to help people" thing, Pharma Bros are now making the parents of sick babies thunderdome for lifesaving medicine
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAOW Wausau)
 
 
 
Blessed are the cheese makers. Except for this one, who committed the sins of forgery and graft
source: waow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
The only way this could be better is if that were a BMW
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 30, 2020
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Man, I don't want to be in the bunker when Hitler finds out that Grand Valley's offensive coordinator resigned
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOS 13 Asheville)
 
 
 
Driver decides school crosswalk attendant's STOP sign doesn't apply
source: wlos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meghan and Harry to be replaced in their royal duties by Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice... surprising everyone that there are people named Eugenie and Beatrice who are not 90 years old
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBY San Luis Obispo)
 
 
 
Man arrested for blocking road with his uncooperative asses
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Get the kids out. Deploy the flamethrowers. Guys, prepare for the worst"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Scots lollipop man banned from high-fiving pupils after Mrs. Lovejoy wannabe's complaint about his "behaviour." Think of the wee bairns
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Experts warn that we're heading for another Titanic disaster as hundreds of cruises risk hitting Antarctic icebergs. Also say hiring small stringed instrument ensembles wouldn't hurt
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"I can't understand how he's been found in a boat off Jamaica. I always knew him as a window cleaner, he never mentioned any interest in yachting. He lived alone with his bull mastiff. You don't get many round-the-world sailors from this estate"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop additional food guides to this info-graphic
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Old: Matching shirts for you and your dog. New: Matching coronavirus masks for you and your dog
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fisherman catches strange creature off Coney Island. Meh, it's probably a whitefish
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Iraq to US: GTFO of our country and take your troops with you. US: Ha,ha, good one Iraq, you're such a kidder. Anyway, you are all cool if we install some Patriot missile systems around all our installations, right?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New photo book documents English seaside resort town just before army of Type A London hipsters brought their mochas and yoga mats and gentrified it into Seattle-on-Sea. Revisit those nostalgic days of 2013
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Potentially something for Tennesseans to be truly thankful for next Thanksgiving
source: fox17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Oh, what a feeling ... dancin' on the school cafeteria table
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Costa Cruises' has Costa Coronavirus on tap that is if you survive Norovirus, Legionnaires, and WHO knows what else
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bandar: "Achaanak, Bhaaloo"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
With dry-January coming to an end, bartenders prepare for Sloppy Drunk February
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British Dad pranked by wife and son-in-law finds his new swimming attire has an undesirable attribute, namely dissolving in water
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Trader who caused "flash crash" sentenced to a year of sitting at home thinking about how it's wrong to beat market gamblers at their own game
source: markets.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shell and its contents
source: preview.free3d.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
BBC provides a preliminary breakdown of Coronavirus symptoms, the deaths and what their status was when they arrived, approximate mortality rate, and more. Limes optional
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
One way to guarantee your dirty little rug rat will take a bath is to photoshop a bunch of cockroaches crawling all over him, like this 'genius' mom did
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Celebrity Net Worth)
 
 
 
Like flying corporate jets to congressional hearings, showing up in court in thousand dollar outfits is a bad way to demonstrate destitution
source: celebritynetworth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Coronavirus declared GLOBAL health emergency by WHO. I don't know. First base
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lafayette Journal & Courier)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're gonna rob the corner store, don't rob the one where your brother is working
source: jconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Mask a pretty hopper's foot with squeeze cheese and dangle some grape apple pies, your hands and feet are mangoes you're gonna be a genius anyway
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cambodia's Health Minister Mam Bun Heng says coronavirus won't spread in Cambodia because *rolls dice* it's too hot there
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Upon investigation, the dead leopard turned out to be some tart's winter coat"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ScreenCrush)
 
 
 
The Simpsons has been on the air so long, Bart should now be Homer's age. D'oh
source: screencrush.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
FBI raids Los Angeles church for performing sham marriages. More so than usual that is
source: 1430kasi.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
If you are trying to catch a Burmese python, it's gonna have to be with your hands. "A lot of snakes are lost by people trying to shoot them. It's just not as easy as it sounds"
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Were you worried that Coronavirus in the United States might have been too anti-social and unwilling to interact between people? Well, worry no longer
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
"That's why I had lights and sirens because you thought I was a bad guy? Why were you driving the wrong way?"
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
America's top 5 deadliest cities. tl;dr: Avoid states and cities with "Louis" in their name
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
On this week's serving of 80's post-punk, new wave, and synth-y goodness, it's Skeletal Family, The Wolfgang Press, The Jam, a splendid obscurity, and a cover tune two-fer. It's PastFORWARD #118. Starts at 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Allure Magazine)
 
 
 
"It originally began as a defiance against my parents. They would make me wash my hair every night, and like the naïve 8-year-old I was, I just saw it as any other boring chore I didn't want to do"
source: allure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
NEWMAN!
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man calls 911 to ask police dispatchers if they wanted to "fool around" or "spend some quality time together." Should have asked if he could "cop a feel" or "feel a cop"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
You smurfing potheads need to stop smurfing
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Your tax dollars at work: the F-35 - which has cost a HALF A TRILLION DOLLARS SO FAR - has a gun that doesn't shoot straight
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"They first thought they had arrived at a crime scene because the man was screaming so loudly and there was a large pool of blood"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Police described the robbery suspect as "Justin Tudeau"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Subby doesn't smoke but man are cigarettes expensive in Australia
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Forget the fox, what does the koala say? Oh, hell no
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A submarine crashed into the Titanic, and nobody reported it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Coronavirus: I've killed 132 people in the last year. Flu: (snort) Amateur. I'm at 8,000
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Student struggles to get out of quarantined city. Also apparently struggles with what the word quarantine actually means
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
British clown car shows off her number 22 in her 'wriggly' belly before she opens her clown car door
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Crazy hippy recommends homeopathy. News: Coronavirus spreading. WTFark.com: The Government of India recommends homeopathy to prevent Coronavirus
source: pib.gov.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's the perfect cruise. Sharing events with 6000 passengers, luxury food, extended stay in Italy because one woman from China is sick, shuffleboard ... uh oh
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cute as a button... photoshop this beauty
source: image.2bstronger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Australian leaders decide that the best thing to do with citizens coming from China who may be infected with Coronavirus is to stick them on Christmas Island with all the other misfit toys
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Higgs Boson may have been detected by the Large Hadron Collider, but the Higgs Moron required a judge and jury to be found guilty
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bar, promoting discounted Coronas until the Coronavirus is gone, is called tasteless on social media. $6.50 for selling tasteless beer is tasteless. Tasteless
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
The coyote that attacked a skier in Yellowstone National Park may have been injured; likely the result of using those danged ACME contraptions
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
It never looks good when you drink so much at a co-worker's party you take off your pants and pass out in her bed. Especially when you're the mayor
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
U.S. Border Patrol announces discovery of the longest cross-border drug tunnel in history, from Tijuana to San Diego. How's that MAGA wall working out?
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
An entire graduating class of 31 Georgia State Patrol troopers fired after being caught cheating on their 2019 training academy finals
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man discovers all his worldly possessions, including three cars, worth a measly $20,000
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
People in the South are keen on masochism and suits. Here comes the science (probably NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 769: "That's Sharp". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 29, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kobe Bryant's Sikorsky S-76B had all the bells and whistles, except the TAWS system that shouts "Terrain Terrain" as advised by NTSB after a similar 2004 Helo crash
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman body shamed after ice fishing accident. It can't be worse than subby's tractor story
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHSV Harrisonburg)
 
 
 
Did Virginia just become Wisconsin's BFF?
source: whsv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
536 fishermen rescued from Giant Ice Flo in what might be the most ambitious Progressive Insurance commercial ever
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Amtrak engineer at controls during deadly 2017 derailment sues Amtrak, alleges inadequate training and missing train safety technology set him up to fail. Attorney: "He's as much of a victim as anybody else"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low walker
source: images.unsplash.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Mom: My son isn't here. Sure come on in and take look around, like I said, he isn't here. Shocker: Cops find son locked in bathroom. Son comes out and the real fun begins
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hurriyet Daily News)
 
 
 
Egg-carving artist sets world record by poking 12,000 holes into a single egg. Do people shell out money for this?
source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"OK, this way back to the cell block. Nice of your grandma to visit." "Yeah, it was. Hey, did you hear a crash, just now?"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
The chances of the satellites colliding over Pittsburgh has increased
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
It's A Family Affair: Florida Mom helps Florida boy by driving the getaway car
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
German authorities fuherious over neo-Nazi-labeled beer called "Reich brew." A crate of the beer was also on sale for €18.88. Way out of mein kampfort zone
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Wuhan coronavirus? Amateur hour - these are the diseases that nearly took mankind down altogether (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
Man buys used VCR at Goodwill. Finds old VHS tape inside. Decides to view it. What could go right?
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese villages going full Thunderdome to keep Wuhan residents out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Those crazy brits call cookies biscuits, fries are chips, build affordable housing in national parks, a flashlight is a torch... wait back up one
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Hampshire Public Radio)
 
 
 
Less than 0.2% of the ice melt from the Ice Castles flooded her basement, but 0.2% of 8.5 million gallons is 15,500 so that's a lawsuit
source: nhpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the best photo you ever took with your phone
source: images.unsplash.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The 18th Space Control Squadron uses a system designed in 1983, and updated in 1996 to track more than 26,000 objects larger than a softball. If a collision is imminent, they send an email to the operator. Where it goes to the spam folder. Sleep well
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
911, what is your emergency? "Iguana report a Florida man with a gun, near a school"
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Turkey announces that MIT is operating within Libya, presumably by inflating a themed balloon out from beneath the Presidential lawn
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Online dating horror stories: come for the Ass Blower, stay for the guy into Sharpie fashion
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Apparently big cats like perfume. So if you have any spare Eau D'Pussy or Calvin Klein Pis Du Chat, please donate it to your local zoo
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Guy is selling terrifying sex doll because it's not the exact terrifying sex doll he ordered (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
We took a breathalyzer to a giant pirate parade to see how drunk the pirates were
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
If you hear the phrase "dipping your balls in corona virus" while listening to this week's episode of the Fark and Schnitt podcast, you're probably listening at 2x speed
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
80,000lbs barreling down the highway being held together with baling wire and tie-down straps. Sleep well
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
World Health Organization Director upgrades 2019-nCoV risk assessment from 'Moderate' to 'High' before saying that the whole 'Moderate' thing was a typographical error made by a staffer
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Knewz Corp launches Knewz to compete with KDrewz
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Residents run to the roof of a high rise after getting stuck above where the fire is in the hopes that they can be rescued by helicopter. Fortunately they weren't in lower Manhattan
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
No. Period. But, our grammar is apparently much more baddest
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
So it looks like that whole "opt out of housekeeping to save the Earth and earn a few points on your account" scheme that more and more hotels are offering is less about saving the Earth and more about screwing over housekeeping staff
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This glitter coffin will make sure no one ever forgets you as they will be finding glitter everywhere for the rest of their lives
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
This would make a good Lifetime movie, except they would need to make the husband the bad guy somehow
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
World's Oldest Woman Dies. Why does this keep happening? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you want to save their species, plant these flowers in your yard as gifts to the insects that help with pollination - make them free bees
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Free Europe)
 
 
 
A fad for posing in fake boats, planes, and automobiles resulted in some of Russia's quaintest portraits (w/ lots of cool pics)
source: rferl.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Woman sentenced to 90 days in jail in 25-day chunks to preserve her Social Security because that's the world we live in now
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man who likes women with waxed pubic hair decides to see firsthand what women go through (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Tourist attractions, online dating, the impeachment trial, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Jan. 19-25: Bad Emojis Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Flight from Wuhan, China, carrying 150+ Americans who wanted to GTFO of Wuhan, is going to land at March Air Reserve Base in Riverside (in a few hours). Subby works near the base and is stockpiling beer, but that's unrelated
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Lime bike is watching you ride on the sidewalk
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Some federal judges decide whether it's legal to jail child refugees. Others decide whether it's legal to take a picture of a falcon without a legitimate educational purpose
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Owner of speakeasy charged with illegally selling alcohol. This is not a repeat from 100 years ago
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Once again proving that libraries are havens of illegal activity and evil intent
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Edinburgh pub bans 'jobby catchers' and turned up jeans after getting fed up of wannabe blokes looking 'scruffy' with 'BrewDog' looks. Jobby catchers, who talks like that?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Australian lab manages to grow Wuhan coronavirus. So, yay?
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
France to stop tossing live chickens into shredders and castrating pigs without anesthetic by the end of 2021
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
China's new 1,000-bed Coronavirus Hospital opens, 48 hours after construction began. Hope they had the right permits
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TrendChaser)
 
 
 
Allegedly there's a bear hidden in the Toblerone logo. Photoshop other things no one noticed
source: trend-chaser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOC Savannah)
 
 
 
Thanks to the assistance of a couple of good Samaritans who spotted a momma dog dragging a crate full of her puppies, they've been rescued and are in safe hands. This is your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: wtoc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Washington Post reinstates reporter who reminded everyone Kobe Bryant had two legacies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Windsor Star)
 
 
 
No snarky headline; the photo in the article already contains the maximum legal limit
source: beta.windsorstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Evil HOAs, Choose Your Own Apocalypse, and taste buds in your pants
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Jury awards 81 year old Dick Weiner $400,000 for sperm loss
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida Boy™ well on his way to becoming Florida Man™
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
Hey, property management company. You have a lot of vacancies. How about we just go ahead and tax you on those unleased units? You know, as an incentive
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Porch pirates are now cutting out the middleman
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHK World (Japan))
 
 
 
Japan decides to stop worrying about when the scary virus will arrive and just imports it wholesale
source: www3.nhk.or.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Navy SEAL gets promotion after strangling Green Beret to death. Trump pardon to come next
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Florida Man donates $60.00 of gas to Fire Dept
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Remember that explosion in Houston last week at Watson Grinding? CEO of the company who promised to repair all the damaged homes just went into full weasel mode and backed off that promise
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 28, 2020
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Schreck charged with burglary and theft; was just trying to make himself a little green
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Kobe Bryant's death has put a real focus on serious gaps in helicopter safety, so be careful before you take your next helicopter trip. Oh, you've never taken a helicopter trip? No plans to take one? Well, OK then. Just, you know. Be safe
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cobbler in England who had his thumb cut off in a shoe accident had it replaced with a big toe. Which took care of the problem of him being all thumbs
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dunkirk Observer)
 
 
 
Deer-scaring cannons make sleepless nights for Hanover neighbors, great band name
source: observertoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
It's totally normal to put a criminal suspect in the front seat of a police cruiser. Totally normal, nothing unusual about that at all. Nothing unusual about that and what is the worst that could happen?
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Looks like Trump wants to suspend all China-US flights because of coronavirus. SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING might be in play
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Come to Australia, home of koalas, kangaroos, and secret long-lost members of the British royal family (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
NASA adding a Ten Forward to the ISS for space tourists. Whoopi Goldberg expected to tend the bar (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
King Albert- is the father
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: What if Fark's squirrel had a children's storybook about him? What would the cover look like?
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Harvard professor fails to disclose $50,000 per month he was receiving from China for his ties to a Chinese program that recruited scientists and paid them to share their expertise at Chinese universities. Yeah that's an arresting by the FBI
source: lexington.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Florida News-Press)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Message in a bottle. Florida: Message on a toddler
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Comedy Central caught in "Lone Gunmen-9/11" sitch over "Chamberlain Heights" episode depicting Kobe dying in helicopter crash. Scrubs all online references, asks fans not to post. Yeah, good luck with that
source: 1430kasi.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Thirteen Super Bowl party "ideas," including get lots of beer, get lots of dip, and serve your chips in a bowl that looks like a stadium. Thanks, Captain Cosmopolitan Obvious. Plug tag because an admin read TFA
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man hits girlfriend with hammer while driving on I-75. TFA doesn't mention how he motorized a hammer or what mileage it gets
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Because the Catholic Church hasn't done it, we assembled the only nationwide database of 'Credibly Accused of Abuse' priests. You're welcome
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Homework is pointless, according to new study by the Sooper Cool Layzee Perents Commishun
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Woman unhappy with her 6-figure salary tech job shares the secrets of how she decided to take the plunge into becoming a full-time freelance writer with no other supports but her masters degree, 3 previously published books, and jet setting husband
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Please note: when the bailiff says "All rise" he doesn't mean for you to get high
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
You get an electric car tax credit, and you get an electric car tax credit, and you get an electric car tax credit, and you get an electric car tax credit, and wait a minute - did all of you actually buy an electric car?
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Philly Police release photo of man suspected of stealing a backpack containing $500,000 worth of jewelry from a downtown hotel; still haven;t explained why the FARK anybody would be carrying half a mil in jewelry in a BACKPACK, or in Philly at all
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic car collection
source: i.insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Prisoner escapes while in a bathroom at the Newark airport, may be hiding in the ceiling. Bonus: he was in the custody of the CBP
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
7.7 earthquake strikes in Caribbean between Cuba and Jamaica, tsunami alert. Jerk-flavored cigars for everyone
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Enjoy this veteran's reaction on "Antiques Roadshow" when he learns that his $345 Rolex is now worth $700,000
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Former NHL goalie arrested for massacre-ing a hotel in Bowling Green, KY. Never forget
source: wnky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Chipotle fined $1.3MM for abusing children, making them eat there
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10 New England)
 
 
 
Rhode Island lawmakers will consider a bill to ban the intentional release of balloons outside. This is not a repeat from two years ago
source: turnto10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New CBP strategy: just question them until they give up and go home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Exes will be eaten live during a 3-day anti-Valentine's Day promotion
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Mother of meme star sues Rep. Steve King. Class action lawsuit involving Doge, Scumbag Steve, and Neil deGrasse Tyson expected to follow
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
New York names "Cannabis Czar" to explain to stoned New Yorkers the proliferation of historically Russian titles in US politics
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
If you had 'Convicted Navy SEAL war criminal launches video attack threatening former SEAL teammates who accused him of murder' on your bingo card, step up and collect your prize
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In a bid to increase "diversity", Mattel to introduce two new Barbie dolls with realistic skin conditions like vitiligo and alopecia, and, of course, barbie's signature absolutely unrealistic and unattainable body proportions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Couple filmed having wild sex in window above Nice and Sleazy bar with no sense of irony
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man arraigned for murdering his wife, whose most recent Google search was "What to do if you're pregnant and your husband is angry"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
US Navy sub encountered Nimitz UFO in the abyss 4 years after Nimitz sighting, say it was traveling at 550 mph (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"The beds were comfortable, but there was a persistent buzzing sound. The honey at breakfast was delightful though. Overall, I give it a grade Bee"
source: returntonow.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Trend alert: superman ice cream whole house palletes
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Pro tip: When running from the police, try not to carjack an undercover cop. And don't expect a pretty mugshot after you violently resisted arrest
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you absolutely have to be flogged in Indonesia, try the all-female flogging squad. You won't be disappointed
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A Brit has just climbed one of the most remote mountains in the world, with no outside help. How remote is it? Before he climbed it, just ten people had seen it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
You can now check Coronavirus outbreaks in real time with this handy dashboard
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Ever wondered if your anti-virus software was auctioning off your porn-search data?
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Some masochists are raising money for charity by forcing themselves to watch the epic bomb "Cats" for 24-hours straight
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Want to play with your vagina, boost your sex life and banish embarrassing problems? There's a smartphone game app for that
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Ship that vanished in Bermuda Triangle almost 100 years ago turns up in... you guessed it
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Italian man living in Switzerland for the past 30 years denied citizenship because he didn't know bears and wolves lived together at the local zoo. Keeping up on your local zoo trivia is very important in Switzerland
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
"Police did not reveal what type of hamburger the man was offering"
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Germany and Japan confirm first coronavirus cases in patients who did not travel to China
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Is that 30 stolen phones in your shorts, or are you just happy to see me?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this helopupster
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Gasparilla attendee takes wrong turn at Tampa International Airport, forfeits bear booty
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hong Kong Shuts. Down. Everything
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Eighteen years ago this week, The New Yorker published an article titled "The Real Heroes are Dead." It is IMHO one of the finest pieces of journalism you will ever read. Tag is for the subject of the piece, Rick Rescorla
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Best Korea seems to be the only country taking the coronavirus seriously : imposes one month mandatory quarantine to anyone coming from China
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
I was taking an English Mid-Term exam. I finished early, I walked out of the gym, and was told by a Hall Monitor what had happened. I didn't believe her, but then I got home and turned on the television. This day in 1986. Where were you?
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
FBI calls for Prince Andrew in Epstein investigation. No word if they asked if his refrigerator was running
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Texarkana woman sentenced to 23 months in prison for (a) gettin' drunk (b) killin' her cheating husband (c) embezzlin' $60K from Pleasant Grove High School Showstoppers Booster Club and that don't work in a country song at ALL
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Skiing in your late 50s is maybe risky if you don't do it all the time, but driving up from New York to Vermont as a tourist, then driving UP the ski slope is a risk you ought not take
source: unofficialnetworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
It's a bird? It's a plane? It's Drug Dealer Man. Narrator: Busted faster than a tweaking hillbilly
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Doula feel lucky, punk?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
This is why you shouldn't park next to a fire hydrant
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
Man killed while laying pipe
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 27, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What can you do when a drone is stalking you? Nothing. You can do nothing. Write your congressperson today to demand legislation to allow me to shoot down the alien drones with my potato gun
source: wcyy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida man 'dumps' his girlfriend
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Busted Bacon
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Yesterday, some aliens knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can a boulder be both large and small at the same time?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spice rack
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Assorted quotes from the mind of a Tesla short-seller. "Musk is an epic fraud. The Ed Hardy shirt of tech visionaries, the Jar Jar Binks of technology, a cross between Elizabeth Holmes and Donald Trump. Is Elon lactating?"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
U.S. Dept of The Obvious warns against travel to China
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Lawsuit says man would have lived if only the wood chipper he was using had warning signs saying it was dangerous
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Five days ago, the first confirmed case of the Wuhan coronavirus appeared in the US. Today, there are 110 cases being investigated across 26 states. Find your beach
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
DirectTV gets permission to alter the orbit of its Boeing-built Spaceway-1 satellite to a "graveyard orbit" some 185 miles above its current orbit, since it's about to ..well, explode, the next time it tries to charge its batteries
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
There's an Irish castle in Texas full of llamas, so your argument is invalid
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Protip: Never ask for a "Brazilian blowout"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New Hotness: Corona virus spreading through China. Old and still a bigger threat: Drug resistant Candida fungus spreading through hospitals across the world
source: dental-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stonk Market)
 
 
 
A Florida man filled his car with feces and threw handfuls of it at pedestrians, because he lost $600,000, went bankrupt, and got divorced after shorting Tesla stock
source: thestonkmarket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unimpressed gang
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Recent imagery suggests that Iran is about to launch its very own satellite into orbit, possibly for nefarious purposes. Looks like a job for .... SPAAAAAACE FOOOOORCE. *cue theremin theme music*
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Kobe's chopper flew in fog that grounded other choppers. It grounded his too, just a little later
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
China now the #2 exporter of weapons due to Russia getting high on its own supply
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Injure three people who are trying to hold you down while you have an epileptic seizure in a budget store? You bet that's a banning
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
911. What's your emergency? I want to file for a divorce
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