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Sun January 26, 2020
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Cut this "belt" off the front of your engine to "thwart" the "Oil Companies'" evil "plans" to ruin your fuel efficiency, causing you to use more "gas." Report your results here in a couple of victorious days
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
Reporter stutters on the air, soon to be burned as a witch. Duck scale unavailable for comment
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Millennials are killing houseplants -- literally and accidentally. 22 percent are apprehensive about owning new plants because of what happened to their old ones
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Fertility doctor who used his own sperm defends himself with the most technically correct response ever
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Who am I to argue with Jameson?
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S. Embassy in Baghdad hit in Katyusha rocket attack
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's in the Tupperware
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Puerto Rico's disaster relief funds keep getting held up while Florida's disaster relief funds keep .... um, getting held up
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida man crashes Florida plane into Florida home, causing Florida fire
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
$900k of fake cash confiscated. Fark: fake $1 bills
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It's your afternoon coronavirus thread, coming to you from Los Angeles ... which is not a repeat from the Orange County case from this morning
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sunrise
source: esri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Teen raises $10,000 to install baby box. As of a few nights ago, he only needs three more babies to break even
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Meet the 80 year-old spy who went undercover to expose the goings-on at a retirement home
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
NewsFlash
 
Kobe Bryant among nine dead in helicopter crash. His 13-year old daughter, Gianna was also on board
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Whacking Day is a real thing in Florida. Because Florida. Duh
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
Rest easy, America. Penis Man has been apprehended. And it only took 25 heavily armed SWAT team officers to take him down
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Fire in NYC's Chinatown may have destroyed 85,000 museum artifacts
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Much like the streetlight, Bigfoot is a tree
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Public footpath to be rerouted around nudist campsite. Signs to be erected, bushes planted to screen nesting tits, old people's dangly bits
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMAR News 2 Baltimore)
 
 
 
Gee, ya think?
source: wmar2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15 News)
 
 
 
Why do we even bother with a clock anymore?
source: wpde.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this photographer is really shooting
source: creativelive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: What's the nicest thing you've ever seen someone do?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Australia, even the cakes are trying to kill you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It's your daily coronavirus thread, coming to you today from sunny Orange County, California
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Locust plague in Africa the worst in 70 years. With War never leaving and Coronavirus doing its bit, looks like the Four Horsemen are getting the band back together
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Happy Year of the Rat. This is good news for Disney and denizens of NYC's sewers, bad news for mobsters and Crispin Glover
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
Video
 
Atlanta jewelry store owner chases thieves out of his store, beating them with a bag full of pickle jars. Rick nods approvingly
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
Man nabbed for illegal possession of wildcats, faces 15 yards and loss of down
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 25, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's official, raisins really are the worst
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teens killed after doorbell prank remembered as close-knit ding-dongs
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Most of the psychics agreed that we would find Haylee in a neighboring county by morning," he said. "And we did"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WikiHow)
 
 
 
Photoshop this surprised bear
source: wikihow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man in bunny suit arrested for hit and run. In his defense, he points out his Aunt Clara had for years not only perpetually labored under the delusion that he was 4 years old, but also a girl
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rock on, lady (awesomeness ensues in link thread)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Remember the woman US Bank fired for helping a customer before Christmas? She's got other job offers, and US Bank is doubling down on firing her
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EMS 1)
 
 
 
Firefighters are most afraid of A) Fires, B) Bomb scares, or C) Highways?
source: ems1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Police auction vehicle. Fark: with 97,000 amphetamine tablets hidden in bumper
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Thanks to last week's blizzard, St. John's is home to the world's greatest snow forts
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sir, the reason I pulled you over here in the HOV lane is that your "passenger" looks like he is hungry
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Principal expels girl for having a rainbow birthday cake because it "promotes homosexuality". Sadly, as a private school that's well within his rights. Then posts her disciplinary record publicly after being criticized for the move. Now THAT'S a lawsuit
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Best Horseback rider ever
source: img.thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Captain Trips visits Chicago. Is it time to start worrying yet?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
A fight over dinner rolls in a Kentucky restaurant escalated into a gun battle that left one dead and one injured. Must be some tasty dinner rolls
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Alabama parents arrested in Alabama after Alabama child fires Alabama gun at Alabama school in a very Alabama story. Alabama
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fruits and veggies can save your life. Especially if you fall off the 7th floor into a crate of them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh police urge residents not to fall for the old "crying baby and a child calling out for help" trick
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mystery box
source: kingworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Are you hungry? This will decrease your appetite (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
"They see other cats come and go and they're still here. And it's just not fair because it's no fault of their own, they didn't do anything wrong." Welcome to Caturday
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Saturday, January 25th is National Florida Day, and shall be observed with solemn dignity, pre-warmed crack pipes, and a bath salt parade
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The warden who was in charge of Jeffrey Epstein when he died will be punished... with a promotion
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Wuhan residents describe 'doomsday' scenes as patients overwhelm hospitals
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
What would you do if you found $8,000 in your mailbox?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle-area home too disgusting and unsafe to allow anyone to enter gets 17 offers
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Pot amnesty box at Midway airport robbed. So, if I put it back will I still get amnesty?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Man who said he was "locked and loaded" for killing spree uses machete to threaten cops, who load him with electricity then lock him in jail
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Modern Metropolis)
 
 
 
Some people make art. These Japanese rice farmers take it to the next level and then some
source: mymodernmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 24, 2020
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Lived in London 23 years? Own a renowned Michelin-rated two-star restaurant? Doesn't matter, after Brexit you can GTFO
source: foodanddrink.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rolls Royce to develop fashionable new miniature nuclear reactor, available in at least 10 different colors including Radiation Green and Deathshine Blue. No word on leather options from the skins of irradiated wildlife
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Low-level marijuana possession no longer enforced in Austin. No longer will people be forced to possess low levels of marijuana
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Shop owner at Kanagawa tourist destination posts No Chinese Allowed sign, lists Coronavirus as reason, tells reporter Chinese nationals had caused trouble in his store in the past
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
What exactly does a NY state trooper need to do to be suspended without pay? Shooting at tires to get a driver to pull over, apparently
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Bats in Australia prepare for virus apocalypse. Well of course they would
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
It's a sickly streetlamp
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Head of Buchenwald concentration camp memorial confirms "There are increasing entries in our visitor books that describe National Socialism and the concentration camps as useful and good for Germany"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
"Now, cops have declared war on Penis Man." (w/ lots of pics, all SFW)
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this forever amused teen
source: amusesociety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Walter White jailed for allegedly violating probation in felony meth case
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Millennials just might be the first "death positive" generation, so they've got that going for them. Also, sounds pretty metal
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
Nancy Drew comic celebrates her 90th anniversary as an iconic character and role model for girls by... *checks notes* having the Hardy Boys investigate her murder
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Florida to mandate the installation of night drop boxes. Florida: To get rid of your baby
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Victim of the airliner shot down in Iran ran a company suspected of flouting UN ban on arms shipments to Libya
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
For those who've progressed WAAAAY beyond mere silicone butt plugs, there's always this
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Two men from fight at Greensboro Steak 'N Shake share their sides of the story' Fark: it includes finger biting, eye gouging and shots fired
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
My my, hey hey Neil Young is now a U.S. citizen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
It's time again to rip off your own scrotum. For those without a scrotum, it's fuzzy, it's wrinkly, it's covered with hair. But where would your balls be if it wasn't there?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Having solved all other societal problems, the Vermont legislature is considering a bill to allow drivers to use emojis on their license plates. Subby, who lives in Vermont, will be first in line for new plates so he can has cheezburger
source: mynbc5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gals)
 
 
 
Photoshop this really big cowgirl shew
source: a.1stdibscdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
So, you're saying that airplane vents are NOT there to dry the insides of your wet shoes?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Casino being sued by O.J. Simpson for defamation argues O.J. could not possibly be more defamed than he already is
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Your hourly Corona virus update: Two cases now confirmed in France. Ferme tout
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Middle school fight sends two kids to the hospital with stab wounds and skateboard beating injuries. Man, back in my day, we just kind of waved our hands at each other like we were fighting
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Me: hot German blonde girl, sitting here in my RV, and everything is getting so wet and slippery. You: manly man, who has big equipment and knows how to use it in tight and slippery places. Also helps if you don't mind if a friend watches
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
US Navy probing videos featuring service members on PornHub. Boy there really is a category for any fetish
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
This kid's only 17 and has his whole life ahead of him. Not exactly sure how beating up cops in an upholstery store while naked is going to play into that though
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Coyotes are moving into the Pittsburgh area. This isn't related to the Phil Kessel trade
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1972, a Japanese soldier was found hiding on Guam twenty-eight years after the end of WW2. That's nothing, Subby still has a Myspace page
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
All about America's first family of bourbon: the Beams
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Jury awards $5.5M over woman's injuries at Tarzana Senior Facility. Man, Cheetah's gonna be in trouble this time
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Coronavirus gets all the headlines, but Fishstabitis has the scariest images (graphic image warning)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The GDP's of dictatorships have exceeded the GDP's of democracies for the first time in 120 years. And we all remember how great 120 years ago was
source: uk.finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Folks, please keep your hands and arms inside the John Denver Experience at all times. There's no sense in trying to unloop at the latch at any time during the ride at the John Denver Experience. Have fun
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
"Am I getting arrested?" "Unfortunately, you are"
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Uber and Lyft criticized for introducing new 'escape from mass shooting' price model
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Over 30 Million people are quarantined in China as deaths from Coronavirus rise
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman named Felisha turns down deal for 20 years for drug charges, gets 99 years instead. Well, bye
source: easttexasmatters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHYY)
 
 
 
Research warns PA police of potential bias in vehicle searches. PA police: End the research
source: whyy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Spiffy: Police used DNA to identify the "Pillowcase Rapist" who terrorized South Florida in the '80s. Scary: He was building a dungeon under his home when caught. Umm: He was identified when police took a DNA sample from his son during a domestic violence arrest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Straight from the Connecticut DMV, it's the 2019 rejected license plate list. A55 RGY strangely absent
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A coronavirus pandemic simulation from 3 months ago resulted in 65 million dead. Thankfully, now we can test the accuracy of the simulation in real life conditions
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
China just might be hiding the true magnitude of the Coronavirus
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
"We heard Gwyneth Paltrow was selling a Smells Like My Vagina candle for $75. So we made a Smells Like My Penis candle for $100, in accordance with Canada's gender pay gap"
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Lawmakers target self-checkouts to ensure Oregon grocery stores are as inconvenient as their gas stations
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Here's how the nation's fattest city, Huntington, West Virginia has turned things around ..so you don't see their fat arses anymore
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Did coronavirus come from the meat market in Wuhan or the biocontainment research lab there that was studying it?
source: ziyadnazem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this back yard view
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Are you constantly 5 minutes late for work? Congratulations, you're not late
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Woman hospitalized in New Jersey with coronavirus symptoms. Shut. Down. Everything
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Rough sex defense when you kill a woman exonerates you half the time
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Houston, we have an explosion
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Things aren't that bad in China concerning the Coronavirus, they're just building a 1,000-bed hospital in 6 DAYS in a bid to stop the out-of-control outbreak (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
All your Base are belong to a New Jersey Nazi who is either a Russian asset or running a honeypot operation for the Feds
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Welcome to Detroit, where we'll jack the wheels off your pre-production 2020 Corvette Stingray
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas now stays with you for the rest of your life
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Forever chemicals in drinking water? Relax
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
Don't cry over spilled milk, they say. What about 97,000 gallons of wine?
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DriveTribe)
 
 
 
Code Brown on California Highway
source: drivetribe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
HOA cameras capture video of burglary suspect. Florida: HOA refuses to share the video with community residents to help catch the thief
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star Press)
 
 
 
Some professors get really serious about assigned seating
source: thestarpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man thought he had a pretty wise scheme going when he fooled the IRS into giving him a nearly $1 million tax refund on only $19,000 annual income. Now he's going to prison for three years
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Never expected to ever say this, but the only thing missing here is a juggalo and a quart of Faygo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 23, 2020
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Protip: don't pay your kid to take Morphine and Adderall so they can pass a pee test for you
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
One of the Organizers of the 2017 Rally in Charlottesville, Chris "the crying Nazi" Cantwell has been arrested on federal charges of making interstate threats. Yes, AGAIN
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Careful planning of your getaway is quite important when robbing a mobile phone store
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Millennials, always on the cutting edge, they're even getting their midlife crises started early
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadian hotel offers free stays on Valentine's Day for 18 years if you have a baby 9 months after popping in for special nooner package
source: hotelzed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Everything you need to know concerning how not to get murdered in a quaint English village
source: crimereads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
The Goddamn Batman swings and misses with his Bat Bat, but scores a perfect hit with his thrown Bat Nickle
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ You can have / anything you want / at a Florida traffic light (according to Google) / Walk right in, the car is stopped / just before arresting at the Walmart shop / You can have / anything you want / at a Florida traffic light ♪
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
A monument to honor fallen police officers has fallen. Coming soon: a monument to honor the fallen monument
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
WHO declines to declare Wuhan coronavirus outbreak a global health emergency. What? I don't know. Third base
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this baseball-themed wrecking ball
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYT Santa Barbara)
 
 
 
Student shot in Oxnard. I bet he screamed like a banshee
source: keyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Worried about the Wuhan Flu? Now is the time to stock up on surgical masks. They are an excellent way of accomplishing nothing
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
'Human-like' sex robots who hump their randy owners go on show
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
The beatings by the HOA board will continue until morale improves
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Bank discriminates against check that was won in a discrimination lawsuit, prompting lawsuit for discrimination. Discrimination
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pictures of a bald eagle taking a bath. In other news, bald eagles bathe
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Coronavirus may have spread to Australia; locals expected to retaliate with Fostersvirus
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
2020? More like 42020 you know what I mean?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One patient infected with the coronavirus has managed to infect 14 health care workers but there's just 600 cases. If you believe that, you probably think Tiananmen Square Massacre is a CIA lie
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ça commence
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
Boobies
 
"My night with a male sex doll." tl;dr: as disappointing as a real man (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Voice of a 3,000-year-old Egyptian mummy reproduced by 3-D printing a vocal tract. Pretty sure this is how we end up bringing back Imhotep
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man with "Murder" tattoo on his face sentenced for
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The reason you're so lonely is that you're not spending enough time becoming close friends with those morons at work who can't even microwave popcorn without setting the bag on fire
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15 News)
 
 
 
Fun fact: 'Happy N-word Day' is not the official holiday name of the third Monday in January
source: wpde.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this perplexed fire hydrant
source: israel21c.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Argue over a bag of shrimp? That's a stabbing
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Worry not so much about the coronavirus currently spreading across the Earth, be more afraid of the ancient unknown viruses that have been found locked in China glacier ice when the big melt comes
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Massachusetts serial pooper arrested. And given the mugshot, she appears to have kept right on going about her business
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman argues with family so she a.) steps back and begins civil discussion, b.) goes jogging to blow off steam, c.) gets naked and roars off in Volkswagen Jetta
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
RIP: one of the greatest moderators of our time. Not Drew, he's just passed out on his private email server again
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
Remember that time some guy tried to use "Pepsi Points" to buy a jet? Then hilarity ensued
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Washington State ranked third worst for driving. State of inebriation still on top
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Witch Bottle discovered under Interstate 64 in Virginia. Drivers stuck in traffic start tossing coins at it
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today in "good news for anyone looking to test the validity of the hot/crazy graph"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
On this day, Jan. 23rd: "You know, for kids"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Darth Vader with Frank Costanza's voice is just the thing you need to help brighten up your day
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Moo Bark Zap)
 
 
 
K9 cop responds to rural burglary call. Cop releases the dog. Cow moos. Dog bites cow. Cop tasers dog. Cow tramples cop. There also was no burglary. The Aristocrats
source: gabnewsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Kuwaiti couple arrested for "outraging public morals" after posting a video of the husband brushing the wife's hair (w/video)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Monarch butterflies critically low for second year straight, showing the dangers of equipping them with Boeing software
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Passenger arrives at LAX from Mexico City with possible corona virus symptoms. Dos Equis virus, tequila virus symptoms not reported
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dear Employee, if you don't replace that busted-ass hoopty in the parking lot, we will fire you
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Five cities now quarantined in China
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
🎵ONE. MINUTE. (and forty seconds) TO MIIIIDNIGHT. THE HANDS THAT THREATEN DOOOOOM🎵
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
Time for another serving of historical alt, post-punk, new wave, goth-y goodness, including PWEI, Tones On Tail, and Fields of the Nephilim. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #117. Starts at 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
Weeners
 
Everything you think you know about the invention of the vibrator is wrong
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
In a follow-up to yesterday's lively main page discussion of emotional support animals on planes, man registers his beer as emotional support animal
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fight breaks out at trampoline park. Witnesses say it went on longer than usual, since as soon as someone was knocked down they just bounced back up
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
After Saudi crown prince's WHATSAPP trolls Jeff Bezos with phone hack, Bezos trolls back with photo from Khashoggi Memorial
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
On good thing about all the Iguanas falling from the trees in Florida because of the cold snap, the meat is being sold online for those who like 'chicken of the trees'
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Good: Going on a snowmobile trip with your elderly relatives. Bad: You get lost in the woods. Good: Friendly locals offer to lead you out. Fark: The locals lead you into a swamp and then decide they're cold and would rather fark off and abandon you
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
"I've seen it all: bird flu, SARS, and the rest. But the Wuhan pneumonia makes me feel extremely powerless. Most of the past epidemics were controllable, but this time, I'm petrified," says noted fear-monger *checks notes* the guy who discovered SARS
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sorry folks, China canceled New Years. You'll have to relive 2019 all over again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Unsure how to deal with cold weather, Florida man sets fire to his apartment to keep warm
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China reports total of 634 coronavirus cases. Which means there are waaaayyy more than 634 cases. Link goes to briefest article ever
source: mobile.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Chiefs fan scores free tickets to Super Bowl for being responsible designated driver
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Huanggang joins the Wuhan Lockdown Clan
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
U.K residents have a bit of a shaking. One person: "What's all this, then?"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWAY 3 Wilmington)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Oak Island Mayor Defends Racy Mural on House. Fark: It's the Mayor's house
source: wwaytv3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this possible alien visitor
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Couple arrested after cutting the heads off six parking meters and damaging 60 in total. Sentence expected to include eating 50 eggs
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Zombie virus outbreak being cured by robots. Vampires, ninjas being 'held in reserve' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
You know it's going to be a bad morning commute when you have livestock running around NYC's Verrazzano Bridge
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Masked vigilante named 'Night Watch' patrols the streets of Winston-Salem helping those in need. What could possibly go wrong?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Q: How do you quarantine a city? A: You don't. Surviving Farkers should plan to meet in Las Vegas
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Sure, the Washington man who has Coronavirus is in isolation with security guards and a robot with a stethoscope so that people don't have to touch him. But don't worry, it's not that dangerous
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The Barbers Hill Independent School District picks the hill they will die on, will not be bullied into giving up their freedom to force a black kid with dreadlocks to go to a barber
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Pentagon goes through its pockets and $35 trillion falls out
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space News)
 
 
 
DirecTV satellite poised to blow up real good
source: spacenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering, Australia's bushfires are still menacing the national capital, dust storms are still raging and Thor the water tanker has crashed while battling fires, killing three. Just another day in paradise
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
What would your facial expression be in your mugshot if you were pulled over with $4 million worth of drugs in your car?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Evidently somebody out there wasn't tired of farking these farking snakes, and now a snake virus is infecting humans. Samuel Jackson disapproves
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The best thing about this zookeeper's failed murder-for-hire plot is the INTENSE mullet he rocks in his mugshot
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Creepy white van stealing credit card info with big antenna is really just a businessman on vacation with his dog. Law enforcement admits "feathers got ruffled" thanks to their "confirmed criminal activity" Facebook post with picture of van
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Looks like he has the original of that
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 768: "Farkitecture 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 22, 2020
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer hauling printer ink sliced in half by a passenger train. Damage estimated to be in the billions. With video goodness
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
After years of killing others, Mr. Peanut has finally died
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fifty pounds of meth? Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend not being able to answer basic questions in Bellingham with that
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Enough is enough, I've had it with these motherfarking fake emotional support animals on my motherfarking plane
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Former Insys executive sentenced to a year and a day in jail for bribing doctors to prescribe more opioids, after judge rejected her argument that it was TOTALLY unfair to point out that she'd worked as a stripper before coming to work for Insys
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle downtown core on lockdown as gunman on the loose. Several people injured, ordering decaf to calm their nerves
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
🎶 Van Ecyk made a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow. Now that it's been restored, its eyes will pierce your soul. 🎶
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Ambulance crash on Southwest Side sends 4 to hospital in ambulance crash on Southwest Side sends 4 to hospital ambulance crash on Southwest Side sends 4 to hospital
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Burglar jumps from window, slips on ice, breaks leg, limps into emergency room and is promptly arrested by police. Tada, the sophisticates
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crab
source: a.1stdibscdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: We're nutty for squirrels
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ryanair flight fills with smoke as passengers scramble for change to pay the oxygen mask fees
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Politicians taking things literally, '80s TV, '90s bands, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, January 12-18: Just One More Thing Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Three little piglets up for adoption after being found abandoned in a park, said to prefer brick housing and hurricane shutters
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Asia taking no chances with new coronavirus as WHO meeting looms. Only time will tell, but they won't get fooled again
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing $1,100 worth of lingerie, adult toys. And he has facial tattoos? What a dildo, and unable to give police the slip
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Artist colony chooses Painter as new chair. No word if poets will remain ottomans or a sculptor can be used as a chaise lounge
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The copyright on F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby" ends in 2021. Coming soon: "Jay Gatsby and the Zombie Apocalypse"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
An officer asks you to stop twerking on top of a parked car. Do you: A) Comply, B) Take off your pants and keep twerking, C) Spit at the officer, or D) Both B and C?
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Plane crashes at Corona Airport. Tecate and Dos Equis airports remain unaffected
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Two cops busted for having drunken sex in the bathroom of a government building. Yes, there are pics
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
As god is my witness, I was sure the law that says you can shoot welshmen with a crossbow was an urban myth
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
California police: If you see this convicted sexual predator covered in face tattoos, his name is "Pirate." Please ignore him and go about your business (w/pics)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some ET)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ironclad proof that we are being visited
source: seti.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
China quarantines a city of 11 million to contain the outbreak of coronavirus, zombies
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
A Utah state lawmaker wants to stop cops from fishing around in consumer genealogy databases. The upside: Protects privacy (and 4th Amendment rights). The downside: That's how they nabbed the Golden State Killer
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 17)
 
 
 
Cop who left his 8-year-old alone and naked in a car in a bar parking lot already back at work. You look surprised
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Multiple do not enter signs, flashing lights, bollards, rumble strips, and finally an automatic gate were installed to keep people from driving into the streetcar tunnel. SUV driver: Challenge accepted
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Defendant in McStay murder trial sentenced to McGo
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Lawmakers push for stricter crane regulations in Seattle, threatening fines for workers who remove bolts from Niles or Frasier too early
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Dear future potential victims: For the last time, predators cannot combat dangerous spirits in your bodies through prayer sessions involving erotic, full body oil massages
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
When in Rome, watch your step
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
If you work at a winery and accidentally send 5000 litres of wine down the drain, an apology isn't going to save your job
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China changes their official tune on Coronavirus from "Nothing to see here." to "Basically, do not go to Wuhan. And those in Wuhan please do not leave the city"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Grandma done run over her accomplice, stealing from Sunny's last Tuesday. "He fell off and this caused the complainant to fall and become run over by the passenger side rear tires, resulting in the death of the complainant,"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Good news: puppies finding forever home. Wait, make that 'chemicals' instead of puppies and the forever home is 'your drinking water.' Also, it's not good news
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Firing a flaming projectile at the probation office will not get you off of probation
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida Man sues pirates over deafness caused by cannon
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacobin Magazine)
 
 
 
Oh nothing much. Just confirmation that Ronald Reagan committed High Treason to get elected
source: jacobinmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Researchers discover phubbing puts children at risk of depression, and also those just now learning of the term phubbing
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Note to self: Do not drop trousers and scratch ass while making sandwiches for customers at Subway (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The NYC subway, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Jean-Luc Picard Metrocard, boldly going where many have gone before
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Doctors now urging men to stop using banana peelings to pleasure themselves, say they might slip and fall during the friction of the moment
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Less than a week left to vote on the name of the Mars 2020 rover name. Subby couldn't find Rover McRover Face on the list
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Rule 34 rears its ugly head in a Pornhub lawsuit, so to speak. Also, it appears Sanders hates low flush toilets as much as Trump does
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
I only wanted to see you breathing in the fiberglass rain. Fiberglass rain, fiberglass rain
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1984, Apple's iconic "1984" commercial aired, heralding a bright future where no monolithic corporation forced conformity on their customers
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today is the last day you'll be able to file for YouGetNothing.gif from the Equifax breach settlement
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Judge Deals Blow To Woman Trying To Overrule Utah Topless Ban." Are we not doing "phrasing" anymore?
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBRZ Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
That moment when the tarp blows away and you see the body
source: wbrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Scientists drop three gator corpses to the bottom of the ocean to see who's hungry, leave perplexed after mysterious deep-sea giant devours alligator whole. Now they wonder whether it's a good idea to keep feeding the Chulthu beast (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Look Up in the Sky. It's a bird It's a plane It's a...vague blue blob (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
French university textbook maker apologises after book suggests that the 9/11 terror attacks were "no doubt orchestrated by the CIA" to stir up the Middle East. Still won't apologize for thinking Hulk Hogan brought down the towers
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Experts believe the boa constrictor could have been hiding in the woman's bathroom for six months. Another snake is also missing"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this confident public speaker
source: i0.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
'Surprised' pup gets surprise adoption in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday. SURPRISE!
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
While awaiting trial, a Chicago madam advertised the hell out of her kinky services, and now prosecutors are demanding her remand
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Javier Ortiz, a white police officer in charge of defending officers involved in high-profile shootings of unarmed black men, has twice claimed to be black in order to get promotions. And it gets worse
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who farked the goat?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Terry Jones finally gets on the cart
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
El Avenatto
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Court turns on lawsuit tap of officials from Michigan and Flint governments claiming "qualified immunity." Drink deep, darlings
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10daily)
 
 
 
After massive wildfires and dust storms, Australia decided to go full Australia with "floods of deadly spiders"
source: 10daily.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Amtrak puts locomotive in reverse, won't charge disabled users $25,000
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Cute as they are, no one wants a wombat up their passage
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Just this one time, the HOA is not the villain
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
That's it - I'm off to Fisterra to sleep in the wildflowers and burn my clothes
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Brooklyn Paper)
 
 
 
Brooklyn resident beats Drew to it, registers beer as his "service animal"
source: brooklynpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Cut one tree, $250 fine. Tally stands at $125,000 and counting
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 21, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bezos gets hacked by Saudi Prince but remains in one piece
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
FBI searches Georgia landfill for missing Florida woman and several others that are probably there too. Hell, at this point the landfill should just start offering mortuary services
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Paranoid anti-government employee murders pro-government boss
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Penn State to host ghost exhibit today. Not as cool as it sounds
source: calendar.centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Glenn Greenwald charged with Brazilian cybercrimes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Female game developers to "League of Legends" publisher Riot games: Sex discrimination and sexual harassment were rampant in your workplace. Riot: Terribly sorry, will $10 mil make your lawsuit go away? State of CA: not so fast, let's try $400m
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Three-year-old inducted into MENSA after scoring 142 on the Stanford-Binet IQ test, while subby's 3-year-old was inducted into the Greater Springfield Preschool Hall of Shame for eating paste then flinging turdlets at the other kids, with malice
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It has long been said: 'Oft evil will doth evil mar'
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The forecast calls for chilly nights and a chance of falling iguanas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this militia
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why doctors don't catch the diseases of their patients? Oh wait, they do?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"It's difficult to buy lottery tickets when you're at the lighthouse all the time"
source: vancouverisawesome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Queen Victoria's bloomers could be yours, for a price. The price of your dignity of course
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Washington Square Park vigilante poet who's trying to stop desperate tools from hitting on women is NYC's new hero
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Donuts cleaned from expressway, fail to save The Enterprise
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man claims his dad cooked his Fleshlight sex toy thinking it was a piece of his 'vegan meat' then posts it on Twitter. The Twitternet has a hard time believing it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Apparently, Russia's new hypersonic missile has nits and chickenpox
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite bridge briefly had a new contender
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
School custodian fired and arrested for making the mistake of thinking boxes of candy left in the maintenance room were meant as "a year-end thank you" to the crew from staff just before Christmas break
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
French strikers turn off power to Orly airport. Ya, rly
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pic of a partially submerged Putin
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(Isreal 21c)
 
 
 
Smart fire hydrant senses water theft, terror. No word on ability to rebuff canines
source: israel21c.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chick-Fil-A discovers that anti-LGBT restaurants don't do well in a country where the men wear skirts
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Canada mobilizes its Armed forces to help dig out Newfoundland and Labrador from the effects of a monster blizzard. In other news, Canada has Armed Forces. Very polite Armed Forces, apparently
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
If Pope Francis wants people to procreate he needs to stop visiting them, study finds people have less sex after his visits
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Those who hunt with muzzleloaders are a cut above the average hunter. Usually
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radar Magazine)
 
 
 
Man who claimed to be Ohio boy who has been missing for eight years given two years to find himself in prison
source: radaronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
If any of you encounter any marijuana out there that appears to have been stolen, please contact the Washington County (OR) Sheriff's office
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
First U.S. case of Wuhan coronavirus hits America like that last crappy Mexican beer after a night out in college
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"This is your captain speaking; I need your clothes, boots and your motorcycle" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Never ones to give up on the clone stamp tool, Iran says two missiles were fired at downed Ukrainian airliner
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Commercial for coffee features lesbian teen make out session and tolerance. But most of us missed the last part
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
They finally figured out who makes wikiHow's bizarre art
source: onezero.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Leaking stolen information doesn't work out for Glenn Greenwald the second time around
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Do not drag race through a construction zone in the middle of the day while transporting three inmates, Mr. deputy who was also involved in a choking incident in which another inmate died
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Couple cancels wedding after learning they may soon be brother and sister
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Bill would create 32-hour work week in Washington State, which is nowhere near enough time to get all your on-the-clock websurfing done
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Iranian leader promises 'manly' revenge for Soleimani killing, which probably involves leaving toilet seats up all across the United States
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
German man jailed for prank phone calls where he talked women into self-administration of electric shocks. Judge Rotenberg Center unavailable for comment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Today's finally the day when eating Tide Pods wasn't the stupidest thing you've ever seen
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Men use forklift, cherry picker to steal 2-ton safe. Fark: One of them was wearing an ankle monitor
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
"Please pay £100 for staying too long in our car park" "I have doorcam evidence and a shop receipt proving I didn't stay in the car park at all" "Please pay £160 for staying too long in our car park"
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Your attention please... would the passenger with the WiFi called "Remote Detonator" please go with the nice officers? On a related note, tell us your favorite wifi network names
source: amp.freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Angelic 'Jesus' cloud spotted over homes in Willenhall, England, debates whether to turn into a tornado and wipe out all the heathens below (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Prince Harry deported to Canada. Says he's not from there
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is coming to kill you. Really? I've drank a lot of those before and while I felt like I might die the next day, I never did
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wall-o-bookshelves
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Rockets fall inside Baghdad's Green Zone. Damn, the NBA is really trying to expand
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"'I love this. This is like the Super Bowl for the Second Amendment right here,' said P.J. Hudson, a truck driver from Richmond who carried an AR-15 rifle just outside Capitol Square"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Georgia jail depriving inmates of water for "days" in defiance of law, sense
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Welp, nice knowin' y'all
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alabama allows 2,000 more lynchings to be public knowledge
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just how small is his penis?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Target employee earns $30K bonus after telling customer "no"
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
When it absolutely, positively, has to have the Florida tag overnight
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Drivers in Australia to be fined $11,000 for throwing lit cigarettes out of cars. Which in NYC would be enough money to buy a whole new carton
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Vegan arrested after his pitbull performs the hind lick maneuver on him
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Coyote messes with the wrong pup, killed in hand-to-hand combat
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The TSA announces that Atlanta and Dallas led the nation in their annual "shucks, where did I leave that gun?" contest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 20, 2020
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Man honors dead father in the weirdest way possible, by leaving ashes in a subway station men's room and opting not to flush them down the toilet
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Some Seattle restaurant owners land on a truly novel way to adjust to higher wage levels: Pay the employees less and let tips cover the gap
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Drivers headed for casino get dumped deep in the woods. New Jersey of course
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
British baby avoids looking pasty using this one strange trick that you won't believe
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
No dead bodies? Cool
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Department of Veterans Affairs comes to the aid of a vet who didn't have a leg to stand on
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Protip: don't leave a two year old home alone, especially if you left your drugs at home too
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Your Central Valley)
 
 
 
Hey, remember on the "Dukes of Hazzard" how the Duke Boys would get away from Roscoe P. Coletrane by jumping over a river? Did you wonder how that would have gone in real life? Well, here you go
source: yourcentralvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested after coming up for air
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Indianapolis Taco Bell now selling chicken sandwiches
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Is it bad that my first thought wasn't "scary with all those kids around," but was "wow, that's be amazing if the guy he shot was bouncing on a trampoline at the time"?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Commercial airline pilot either just did the most bone-headed racist thing of his life, or guaranteed himself a job on Trump's private jet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Utah delegation demands their clock be reset, also
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowy field
source: wallpaperplay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook