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Sun January 05, 2020
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
6,500-square-foot home in the Boston suburbs with five bedrooms and five bathrooms needs more running water
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTE Ireland)
 
 
 
Twenty cars discover Russian sea-ice is not all it's cracked up to be
source: rte.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Clock Freak)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Nixie tubes
source: nixiediy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer rollover causes milk to flow into a stream. Department of Natural Resources coordinates a clean up, dipping Oreos while trying not to sob
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Good news: you should resolve to drink more in 2020. Lame news: water
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Delta Flight 49 now departing from Gate 10... Gate 11... Gate 12... Gate 13... Gate 14... Gate 15... Gate 16
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
We were told that all the money from the lotteries goes towards education
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
How bad do things have to be when a Coast Guard boat capsizes and the crew needs to be rescued?
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these canoeists
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
The Snake Plissken Game will now cost more, thanks to the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Maryland police seek man who intentionally drove over flock of seagulls, then ran, he ran so far away
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Civilian deaths in police shootouts make Florida question their "Shoot everything and figure it out later" policy
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Rebel alliance ready to put a halt to the 'disneyfication' of Edinburgh"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Things are getting so expensive in San Jose that people are now stealing their neighbors' water
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Mother gives birth to twins in different decades, promising them a lifetime of people arguing about whether the decade starts on a zero or a one
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not to alarm you or anything, but that "mystery flu" in China keeps spreading and now has Hong Kong on alert
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
So, for no particular reason or anything, here's what would happen if, again for no particular reason, the U.S. and Iran were to go to war. Bottom line: "hell on earth"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop "Nefertiti Rock"
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Stupid Human Tricks - share a story about a time you attempted to pull off a *physical* stunt, whether you succeeded or failed, and how people reacted
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Scary: Your flight encounters clouds and turbulence. WTF: Your flight encounters pyrocumulus and why is it featureless orange out the windows?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Woman heeds warning against shooting guns outside on New Year's Eve; now needs a new wall in her condo
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Tourist in Morocco falls off a camel. So naturally she sues ... the company that booked her trip (TripAdvisor)
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The 12th day of Christmas is here. Take down your damn Christmas tree
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
World War III might be looming overhead, but at least we have the memes
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
All human beings ordered to leave Eden. This is not a repeat from the Book of Genesis
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Florida Man tries to kidnap a boy at the Viaport Mall and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those damn kids
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
The wheels on the train go round and round, round and zzzzzzz
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Remember that $3 billion in taxpayer bribery New York was offering Amazon? Add another $800 million dump truck of cash to their initial offer
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
There's no smoking, vaping, or chewing in here. Moose Club sign out front should have told you
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida cops race to save someone screaming for help. Turns out to be a parrot. So, what's happening in that home?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
"Four Days of Fire"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Video results of doing too much Coke and driving around in a fog
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
11Foot8+8 claims a truck that's 12Foot5
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 04, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hazmat centipede
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You've successfully escaped prison four decades ago and have a new identity. All you have to do to avoid going back is to not fark up and get arrested for things like public intoxication. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Woman who texted "I feel in trouble" found to have been proven correct
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oddly, "paying people a living wage" challenge doesn't go viral
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Sacramento McDonald's has weaponized anti-homeless bagpipes. Be afraid, be very afraid
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Guy whacks woman in the face with his noodle. SFW, somehow
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Dodge)
 
 
 
How much Chuck would a Woodchuck chomp if a woodchuck could chomp Chuck?
source: dailydodge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this steel caisson
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
PSA: if you recieve a call from New Kids On The Block member Jordan Knight asking you to cash a check for 2700 and send it to a charity in Nigeria...it's probably a scam
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Car pool
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Laugh Club)
 
 
 
So you want to be a hipster? Want to be a trendsetter? Want to be first in the coming fashion what is? There you go, Spanky. Enjoy [Graphic picture]
source: thelaughclub.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The future of Australia after Pyrogeddon: so which Mad Max movie are we talking here?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these fire dancers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Submarines are finally beginning to make the switch away from props, seven decades after their cousins in the sky
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
He didn't even get a Hot Cocoa Sampler Box
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
So, umm, hooray for racism?
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Travel and Leisure)
 
 
 
How much is being clumsy worth? According to this klutz, about $5 million
source: travelandleisure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National)
 
 
 
You know that second airstrike in Baghdad? Yeah... wasn't us. Nope. Not at all. No idea who those advanced military jets belonged to. Pinky swear
source: thenational.ae   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mississippi prison officials worried about new prison depopulation trend
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cat Guy)
 
 
 
"Boo Loo," "Tony Tiger," "Girlfriend Sara," "Buh Buh Logan," "Sillygirl Sally," "Rascal Russell" along with ten others file a federal complaint for violations of due process, lack of tuna based gooshy meals while in detention
source: courier-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"This behavior does not reflect our expectations for Burger King restaurants." Yeah, that's really more of a Waffle House thing
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Australian Hell
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swedish princess breaks her leg in most Swedish manner possible
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(benton courier.com)
 
 
 
You have the right to post. Anything you post can and will be used against you on Fark. You have the right to a cat. If you cannot afford a cat, one will be provided for you on Caturday
source: bentoncourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Are you from the media? Tell the Prime Minister to go get farked." Australia's firefighters speak for a continent on fire
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
To Iranians, he was the very model of a modern major-general
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Michigan barn fire creates the world's biggest grilled chicken buffet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Queen of today and the Kings of tomorrow
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
The BEST mattress endorsement ever
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Future Fark headline: Surf's up, and so are reported plague cases
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Stop
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
"Mayhem in the streets of Atlanta". Police are cracking down on turning tricks
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
Fugitive in custody after police chess
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Where is Tommy? I don't know, check the app
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
The NYC chapter of the Hells Angels cashed out their clubhouse in Manhattan's trendy East Village and moved to the Bronx, where cost of living is lower. Let's see how that's working out for them. Oh, my
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 03, 2020
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Landslide along the pipeline's route triggered a gas explosion, fire, destroyed home, barn, several cars, and prompted an evacuation, 30 million dollar fine. CEO shrugs, lights Cuban with C-note, resumes laying pipe
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Post office burns to the ground, fills tiny town of Ismay with dismay
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Buying a waffle iron from Amazon really, truly, sincerely, should not include a waffle
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Alternative end of the year awards
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
New year getting off on the right flipper with Florida Woman, manatees, chicken tenders and Facebook
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If your engagement ring falls into the sewer and has to be fished out by firemen, chances are your marriage won't do so grate
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
U.S. airstrike kills Iran-backed militia members in Baghdad. This is not a repeat from 24 hours ago
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Daily)
 
 
 
Doctors plan to pull the plug after patient is in brain dead coma for seven months. Patient: Not so fast
source: medicaldaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this inky circle
source: getthedrift.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
French police shoot dead man after stabbing. Sounds like overkill
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Almost everyone is aware that Russia is the source of fake snows
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Stop in the name of the law, y'all
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Y2020 hits NYC parking meters
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Suddenly, Wave
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Traffic stop in Greenfield leads to two arrests, heroin seized, and exactly $517 dollars in cash. Go ahead, count it
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picture of the American Dream
source: cdn.ultraswank.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Uber driver saves student's life after organ failure. Hell, I'm just impressed they could fit an organ into an Uber anyhow, even if it didn't work
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
I want to see the fark comments fight. Twins born in different decades? Only if the sibling will be born January 1, 2021. Let the fight begin
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This gets the ironic tag, because it would take a gun being held to my head to make me drink Dr Pepper
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Two men taken to hospital after beating each other with hockey sticks. Guess the country
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
It's the End of the Year Fark and Schnitt podcast - Part 2 of the History of Fark. Learn the real reason Digg failed (it's not what you think). Also how much sideboob is too much sideboob, and how a heavy-handed Google AI nearly killed Fark
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Indiana charter schools graduate rate is only 40%. School choice means you get to choose whether your kids are educated
source: wfyi.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"United Methodist Church." Well, two out of three ain't bad
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Bet she didn't predict that would happen
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Eelpouters eelpouting after they eeltrashed the poutplace
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Scientists detect the "fingerprint" of human-induced climate change on daily weather patterns at the global scale. Yep, we humans are guilty as charged
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nothing says "Will you marry me?" in Redneck like a good old marriage proposal using "disgusting" tobacco with a engagement ring in it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Naturally one wonders this time of year how Floridians survived before air conditioning
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
If you've ever been high on meth and bitten a police dog, you just might be Florida Man
source: 921ctq.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Lesbian goes to a nudist swingers resort and I don't know why I'm still typing
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Young woman becomes a master troll with 'level one million' status after viral prank on sappy anonymous suitor (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year 2019 Final Voting - Main
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you don't write the year as "2020" you might get scammed
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
People on oxygen for medical conditions REALLY don't like the new "powerboxing" prank
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Wranglers stole $2,500 worth of jeans from clothing store
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Uber driver earns college degree after random passenger wipes out her Uber student loan debt
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Begun, the 'lightsaber' laser wars to chase off pigeons have for Scottish Parliament workers
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Wisconsin teacher admits to defecating in park for 2 years, makes sure to rock his Packers gear
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Russian design of their new Laika class submarine "leaked" by state-run news program. What's Russian for "This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."?
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Lifeguards thwart fishermen from eating baby shark DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you thought they were bad before, things are about to get a lot worse
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this parrot
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Doylestown Water & Sewer Department: Pink water is safe to drink
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hope you gassed up your car before the opening assassination of World War III
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Dude who went missing in the Grand Canyon for 11 days has been found ... alive. If he found my car keys, he could have driven out
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This story just leaked: man who is a real wizz relieves himself in airport. What a pisser
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chicago's interim police superintendent Ric Romero says the city is still unsafe
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Couple arrested after argument over The Kelly Clarkson Show escalates to violence
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Ultra-processed foods are a clear and present danger
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man, 20, awakens at 3:30 AM to discover male intruder sucking on his toes
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Maybe it's just me but stealing bricks from The Great Wall of China doesn't seem like something that will bring you luck
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Way to play to the stereotype about facial tattoos
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Cyclist learns about shoulder checking in the most cyclistist of ways
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Driver blows .256. Claims to not be impaired because she is a professional drinker. What is her Fark name?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 02, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Phase I of Germany's "Stop Relying on the U.S." initiative appears to be off to a slow start
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
County sheriff shoots down Pink Panther excuse of suspect found with drugs in his pants pockets
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Having no other stories to report on, news channel investigates the REAL issues, such as 'which is the best seat on the subway'?
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Trump Administration to ban almost all flavored Vape Pods. MAGA
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Fort Lauderdale awash in something other than rowdy spring breakers looking for cheap beer and a piece of strange
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Baghdad airstrike takes out General Soleimani, the Iranian Quds Force military leader [Update: U.S. claims responsibility]
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
I see your dog saved from an angry elevator and raise a canine rescued from an icy waterfall of doom
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Germany's decision to phase out nuclear power after the Fukushima disaster has already killed more people than Fukushima did
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♪ I would walk one thousand clicks and I would walk one thousand more, just to get you off your goddamn phone and make you talk to me some more ♪
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Prince William announces a climate change competition with a prize of (pinky to mouth) one MILLION dollars
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The right way to screw the poor is to announce the cuts to their services on New Year's Eve
source: spectrumlocalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Thousands of immigrants on student visas are taking away our fake jobs
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Come for Dr. Phil's house for sale, stay for the "Beetlejuice" design philosophy and the wall of guns
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Pay $1 million to save a 350 year old tree? Oaky-dokey
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man REALLY doesn't want to fly to Newcastle
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Police Chief grabs packages, citizens grateful
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Rockets hit US/Iraq base in Baghdad
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Truck at a Massachusetts car wash was unable to stop, crushing a car behind it. Police say at least the truck driver's record was clean
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Another entry for Ozzy Man Reviews: Celebrating Too Early. Don't celebrate winning the race until you've crossed the finish line and won the race, even if it's like one or two steps ahead
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The man lights off fireworks while a friend was proposing marriage next to a movie theater. What could possibly go wrong?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So many firetrucks are working on the Australian fires that native magpies are starting to mimic their sirens. (with video)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Happy divorce month
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida looks to make fireworks legal on holidays, blow remaining fingers off Florida tag
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Lets see.. we had German Shepherds, Dobies, Rotties and Pitts : Make way for the Dogo Argentino
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
'Affluenza' guy Ethan Couch downgraded to Ethan PrisonCot after violating probation
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
U-haul commits to the health of their workforce by getting rid of the unhealthy
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Three mountain lions die from indigestion
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
If you're a criminal with health issues, its best to do your crime in a poor town, because apparently it is common practice for these sheriffs to release criminals early because they don't want to pay the hospital bills of the criminals
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hey firemen, while that house is engulfed in flames, can you all just stop and get together for a photo in front of it real quick?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Perhaps the deer are arming themselves?
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Bobby Brown unavailable for comment
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian Man opens his grandfather's time capsule letter after 30 years, finds one lousy dollar... and another mystery
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Video shows why Australian firefighters wear brown pants
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Front tires? Where you're going you don't need front tires. Because you're going to jail
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WALB Albany)
 
 
 
Applebee's patron finishes early, gets just desserts
source: walb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Quiet Guy)
 
 
 
ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ ᵂᵒʳˡᵈ ᴵⁿᵗʳᵒᵛᵉʳᵗ ᴰᵃʸ
source: introvertday.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Two Buffalo women arrested for serving cocktails
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Australia's PM visited wildfire victims, and it didn't go well. How not well? A woman in a Led Zeppelin T-shirt walking a goat shouted at him about the lack of resources. And when you've lost the Zeppelin-loving goat walkers, you've lost Australia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Interpol issues arrest warrant for Carlos the Jailbird
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYPD cop gets drunk at bachelor party in Nashville, breaks into a family's home, hurls racial insults, and a recording of these events threatens to end his career. Clearly, the lesson here is to do your destination bachelor parties in Vegas
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"There's crazies in the hot tub"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The hot new item of 2020 may be "worship survival kits"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
You've got to fight for your right to party
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Baton Rouge Police are urging homeless people not to sleep outside while they investigate what they believe are three connected murders of homeless people.. Yeah, so, one problem: if that were AN OPTION for them they wouldn't BE homeless, would they?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Battery factory fire injures 14. Investigating officers say the company administration will be charged with neglect, irony
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Daily (Australia))
 
 
 
Woman flies to Canberra, steps out of plane, and immediately drops dead
source: thenewdaily.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The white nationalist who headlined the Charlottesville rally that ended in a domestic terror attack is finally arrested
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
And they're gone
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You've heard the expression, "Don't ask someone if they're vegan, because they'll tell you"? Meet the next dimension
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Chinese lanterns started the fire, so alert Billy Joel
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Farmers fighting hunger? Pfffft. We have a half a ton of butter here. Let's make a sculpture. It's "tradition"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Hunter fires three shots at a running deer. Near a house. And hits the family's horse
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage Kodachrome scene
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Someone notices that slavery is still technically legal in certain situations in the backwards redneck state of... Minnesota?
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
In case you were feeling slightly optimistic about the year to come, scientists estimate that more than half a BILLION animals have died so far in the Australian brush fires
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Headline: "Plane crash fatalities fell more than 50% in 2019". Subby is pretty sure most plane crash fatalities fell 100% of the way
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Introducing the Easy Snake Oven
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for fighting a gas pump after arguing with his girlfriend. No word on the likelihood of her name being Ethyl or who won the fight
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Pope apologizes for slapping a biatch
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cumberland Times-News)
 
 
 
Wiener roasting on an open fire? Nah, just a blaze at a nudists resort
source: times-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
To kick off 2020, we have a methbilly, a carjacking, a pet goat, an adult store, and a mugshot that says "you can catch me, but you can't make me feel guilty"
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 765: "New". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 01, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Amazon delivery driver bringing alcohol refuses to release package due to recipient not having identification. Fark: Recipient is 92 years old
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year old reaches the Pearly Gates then survives a 500-ft fall
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Food delivery driver extends the idea of "leave a penny/take a penny" to pizza and Amazon packages
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Clean off ya fahkin cah. It's the law
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Welcome to the future 🎉
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Ca~a~a~a~a~a~arl, that's BURGLARY
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fiddler)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cellist
source: marlboromusic.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If no one answers the door at one in the morning, there are better ways of getting their attention than firing 11 shots at the house, sir
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
If the K9 tells you to quit resisting, it is best to listen
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
To start off 2020 right, someone hit a Corvette on the interstate with a lawn dart. Manual doesn't say how many points you get for a Corvette. Need a ruling on this one
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Someone set off a leftover rocket in Florida this morning. NASA says it wasn't theirs. Anyone out there blowing off some really big bottle rockets?
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The culmination of Republican foreign policy in a single picture
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St. Louis notched four murders in the first three hours of 2020. Your move, Chicago
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recordnet)
 
 
 
Sailing takes me away to where I've always heard it could be just a dream
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
The Newseum is no more
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unfiltered pic of Australia
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah, sure, Jan
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Washington State ends emissions testing after 38 years. So if you're looking for someone to stick something up your tailpipe, you'll have to go somewhere else
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Canadian snowflake's parents advertise for a nanny. Child is 18 and attends university. Apparently making her own food and doing her own laundry is too hard
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The party of individual freedom and personal responsibility would like a word
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A look at everything that's in for 2020 and out thanks to 2019
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Why did nine people mysteriously die in Dyatlov Pass? Possibly because they weren't in Livatov Pass?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, and you don't tug on the arm of the old Lone Pope
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSFA)
 
 
 
I bet if your father jumped off of a bridge while being chased by the cops, you would, too
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
An awesome sunrise photo to start a new decade ... just don't look at the comments, Ray
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Police officer pushes two people over guardrail. Tag is appropriate
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
For the first time in more than 30 years, the IRS has given its W-4 form a makeover. In other news, putting lipstick on a pig doesn't mean I want to kiss it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois braces for impending shortage of Cheetos
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
David Rush is either a) an overachiever, b) someone with a desperate need for attention, or c) willing to do just about anything to promote STEM education for kids
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Town of Erie, Colorado scammed out of a million dollars from a guy that used the "Hey, I'm building you a bridge" scam
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ford creates noise-canceling kennel to protect your good boy from fireworks and thunderstorms. Welcome to a calm New Year edition of Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: bolde.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chucker
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Step 1: Don't make any. Step 2: Done
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
♫ Guess who just got back today / That wayward bouy that had been away / Hasn't changed or got that much to say / But man, I still think this story is crazy ♫
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Husband donates kidney to wife of 51 years after learning he's the perfect match, is astounded to learn that after 51 years he's right about something
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Man has emotional support coyote taken from him after neighbor complained it was agitating her emotional support roadrunner
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
Over 800,000 gallons of untreated sewage have leaked into roads, ditches, creeks of Decatur, AL. Let's see if anyone can find any difference
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEPR TV Pasco)
 
 
 
Tumbleweeds attack and shut down state highway, blocking nuclear workers (with photos)
source: keprtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Headless proven to be Loveless
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Gnarly dude catches epic wave. Difficulty: He forgot his surfboard
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Jesus is risen
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Where do you see yourself in the new year? I dunno, I don't have 2020 vision. Happy New Year Farkers!
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
First you can't eat lettuce due to E-coli and now you can't let your 4-year-old lick the animals at the State Fair? What's this world coming to?
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
China has an opioid crisis too, but their government doesn't give a shiat
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(In Touch Weekly)
 
 
 
With his divorce final, Matt Lauer is now squeezing the Shamin
source: intouchweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 31, 2019
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
♬ My, my, this speed boat can fly. Blew it right into the jetty but the jetty was dry. Them good old boys must have been pretty high, singing this could have been the day that they'd die ♬
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
Diet Dr. Pepper does not cause you to lose weight, even though it is recommended by a Doctor
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tally so far against Alex Jones & Infowars in the Sandy Hook lawsuit: $65,825 & $34,323.80 in sanctions & legal expenses ordered on the same day & $25,875 from an October ruling for a grand total of $126,023.80. And the trial hasn't even started yet
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Be sure to tell your hair stylist about free online courses for spotting melanoma
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Twenty years after the Panama Canal was reclaimed from the U.S., climate change threatens its viability. That explains a lot, actually
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Beverly Hills plastic surgeon wants $5 million because he only got 2 ounces of his dead wife's ashes and he can't figure out how to make them look bigger
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Tool)
 
 
 
Photoshop this toggle clamp
source: cdn10.bigcommerce.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Big Brother is watching you, Baltimore
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
North Carolina's New Year's Possum Drop is playing dead this year
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRG Mobile)
 
 
 
And now, some good news: Greyhound to offer a free ticket home for runaway kids
source: wkrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ding dong, who's there? Murder on door bell camera
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
PG pupper dogjacked by hoopty perps
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bad booze, municipal mistakes, holiday celebrations, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec. 21-28: Time For That @#$^ Song Again Edition (now with link to Easy Quiz)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Watch this street eat a Suburban. Om nom nom nom
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Usually people are happy to go to Taco Bell after a party. Not this guy
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Head of health care company dies of heart attack while giving speech about longevity. This week at Irony Fest
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this forgery
source: wglt.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Stopped train got you stuck in traffic? That's a reportin' to the Feds
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
"Sometimes a Trooper's accident report writes itself. The operator of this vehicle was kind enough to publicly live stream himself traveling over the Gold Star Memorial Bridge [at 102 miles per hour] prior to being involved in an accident"
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
20-year-old man attacks and rips a Picasso painting in a London museum. Officials put the value of the painting at $26 million [Editor's note: Now it's five bucks]
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman busted after trying to use dog urine to pass drug test. What a pisser
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
French are finally starting to turn against author who targeted young teen boys and girls for sexual conquest. Fark: he's been open about it since the 70s
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economic Education Foundation)
 
 
 
US recycling is largely shipped to China, and 30-50% of that is promptly dumped in landfills or the oceans. The Scandinavian countries manage to get recycling to pay for itself. Why can't we?
source: fee.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Drunk and Disorderly in a Horse-Drawn Buggy? That's Pure Michigan (with mugshot goodness)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A Florida Grubhub driver got angry when his delivery order at Burger King wasn't done on time, so he picked up a large ashtray from outside and started swinging it at employees
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
C U next time
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Well shiat, they got in
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Do you have any Disney VHS tapes? Apparently there are some collectors in Florida who have paid big money for them
source: amp.miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
How do you start a country? Ask residents of Bougainville, who seek their independence from Papua New Guinea
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption one of these people in this toy store
source: cdn.coil.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your anxiety, nervousness, and tension about returning to work after Christmas and New Year's might just be alcohol withdrawal, boozy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Another outstanding performance by Florida Man who decided to show us once again why we do not light fireworks while riding in a pickup truck
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The 10 weirdest crime stories of 2019
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Tiktok, tiktok, the Army won't allow its soldiers to use this app
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
War on Christmas combatant resorts to hand-to-hand fighting
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ArtNet)
 
 
 
Top artwork from from 2019. Looks like some part of a series? Subby was just searching for robot strippers
source: news.artnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty bar, just in time for NYE
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
4000 people are currently sheltering on a beach as a fire apocalypse approaches. Everything in Australia wants to kill you
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
What's the world coming to when an entire class of correctional officer cadets can't even give the Nazi salute in their graduation photo without being fired?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Things aren't looking so good at the U.S. embassy in Iraq
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Kansas Police Chief: Officer Fabricated Story About McDonald's Employee Writing 'F*cking Pig' on Coffee Cup
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Ford Mustang SSP: The Police car that put a temporary end to outrunning the cops in the '80s
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Bear found walking around University of Tennessee campus, immediately told he is in the wrong conference and at the wrong school
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Suddenly, Tree
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Car develops windmill cancer
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
It's stop, then shop
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Roaring Twenties: Electric boogaloo ...The similarities are all there for the millennials in the next decade
source: mustreadalaska.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
He stabs you, you splatter him. It's the SUV way
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 30, 2019
(KTSM)
 
 
 
School bus hall of fame driver with 57 years of time in the big yellow finally closed the door and parked it for the last time
source: ktsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite bridge snacks on some furniture h'orderves
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Michiganders, New Hampshireites and Alaskans must prefer to drink at home
source: alcohol.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Today)
 
 
 
Fascinating history about where we sleep, fark, and sleepfark
source: historytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Ozark dentist surrenders his medical license after being convicted of defrauding Medicare by billing for services he did not perform. Authorities became suspicious when they realized he was an Ozark dentist
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Army Times)
 
 
 
Sgt. 1st Class Benjamin Hopper, a 34-year-old Alabama native, was granted the waiver following a lengthy review process that concluded with the Army's acknowledgement of his sincerity as a heathen
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Study finds half of Americans had the best sex of their lives in 2019, apparently the other half is made up almost entirely of Farkers
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
"Any escalation risks Iraq becoming the battlefield for a proxy war between the US and Iran" - so, no more "Mission Accomplished" mmmkay
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Kissmobile to quit touring
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
🎶It's the most Minnesota time oof da year🎶
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Never bring a machete to a table fight
source: apple.news   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this water droplet
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
There can be only one Germany Edition, as Mom watches on
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Police make their annual plea to people who don't have a firm grasp on the concept of gravity: do NOT shoot your guns up in the air on New Year's Eve (or anytime). Bullets don't just fly into space or vanish
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coconuts)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: If you're going to do a snatch-and-grab from the back of a motorcycle, best not to be facing oncoming traffic
source: coconuts.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scalpel.... Forceps......Swab..... Fire extinguisher
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Cannabis use rising faster among U of M fans
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
An elderly Biden says he would consider the GOP to step in should he be unable to fulfill the duties of his office
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman can't find TV remote so she: a) looks between the couch cushions, b) asks boyfriend if he knows where it is, or c) calls 911
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozarks First)
 
 
 
How NOT to install a trigger lock on a gun. FARK: while drinking and smoking pot
source: ozarksfirst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
7-11 franchisee in trouble for not being 24/7
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Let's take a look inside the CIA 'town' where young spies learn spy games like flipping cars, gunning down terrorists and surviving deadly torture. Be quiet about it or we'll have to kill you
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Holland initiates global marketing effort to have foreigners call it the Netherlands and not Holland. Clog-footed spokesman of Dutch tourism: "It is a little strange to promote only a small part of the Netherlands abroad, that is, only Holland"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cafe door
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
2020 is a leap year, the Year of the Rat, and also the year that "the angels are going to support you in achieving your goals." Hmmm
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
At last the media is paying attention to a serious problem in this country: Unbelievably long CVS Pharmacy receipts
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
"Watching a skilled simultaneous interpreter is a bit like watching someone speaking in tongues. As soon as the judge starts talking, the interpreter mutters along, not waiting for the sentence to be over before beginning to translate"
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So, the "good guy with a gun" who fatally shot the Texas church shooter was actually a firearms instructor and ex-deputy sheriff. You know, just like most folks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
12-year-old schoolgirl is working tattoo artist like her dad, disagrees that people with tattoos are "bad people"
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
New sex things to try in the new year based on zodiac sign. Come during the threesome, pity the Cancers having tub sex
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You know that thing where millennials are pulling out of the rat race to live more simply? It's happening in China too
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Perhaps, and I'm just spitballing here, if you want the ladies to shell out $1,000 per ticket to attend your "Make Women Great Again" convention, maybe feature a few actual women in your advertising, or say, on your speakers list?
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Get Surrey)
 
 
 
Twynersh Hungry Horse pub downgraded to Fiery, Smoky Horse
source: getsurrey.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
School board member and wife arrested on attempted kidnapping and impersonation charges. Father/business partner had killed mom/ex-wife; later hung himself. Family of the Year award pending. The Aristocrats
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Eating roadkill in California is legal if you have a permit, but you can't get a permit
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
In the wake of a string of violent attacks on Jews, Fox & Friends reminds us who the real victims are
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bangladesh's new Human Milk Bank is being challenged by religious groups before it's even opened
source: globalvoices.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
California's new data privacy law is due to go into effect and one thing is clear: lawyers will win. Oh will they win
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
New York City found 220 buildings where something could fall off and kill you, just in case it wasn't scary enough already
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Surrounding States afraid that the kids will be banging lines of marijuana's and causing mass hysteria. Or something like that, I can't remember
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Why are so many Californians unhappy?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Careless driver crashes into mausoleum. This is not a fortune cookie
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia: "We're going to begin easing social regulations, including allowing women to drive and allow gender-mixed concerts and sporting events." Saudi Citizens: (Start doing these things.) Saudi Arabia: "ARREST THOSE IMMORAL PEOPLE"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Caption this damn dirty gas station attendant
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Medical science finally explains why you feel the way you feel this morning
source: mcgill.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your dog doesn't need to be gluten free. In fact, that may kill it
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Kooked-up vegan activist demands court to recognize veganism as a protected category like religion (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Gene-editing babies? That's a jailin'
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Homeowner refuses to give a person food or a place to stay, so of course he tries to burn the house down and cuts the garden hose to stop them from putting out the fire. With an obvious mugshot
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Antiques Roadshow" expert drinks a bottle of 150-year-old "port," finds out its really just a 150-year-old bottle of urine, rusty nails and a human hair
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lower the flags to half staff: Walter the ugly-ass warthog has died
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dinosaurs
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"For the first time, the people whose labor feeds the rest of us will be entitled to a day of rest. They will get overtime pay. Disability insurance. Unemployment benefits. Workers' compensation. And the right to organize and bargain collectively"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alligators, Bananas, Naked People and Dogs Driving Cars. It's the 2019 Florida Year In Review
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
After brain surgery, former president and cat with 9 lives Jimmy Carter returns to church
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
On February 17th and 18th, 1969, blondes did NOT have more fun
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Willamette Week)
 
 
 
"Let's face it, the comments section can be a difficult place to have a rational conversation". Well, duh
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A new Florida tradition: Getting tased three times on your 70th birthday
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Conmen bilk Mennonite out of a million bucks with the ol' Illuminati 23 skidoo. But more importantly: Did the judge repeatedly ask "can I get a Witness?" with a straight face
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coal is BACK baby...oh wait
source: wymt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
GPS is pretty cool, but "Road closed to all but snowmobiles" signs are serious business. Consider heeding them
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mountain Xpress)
 
 
 
North Carolina has a radical plan to end homelessness. Is it A) build more jails, B) a ticket to California C) just give them housing
source: mountainx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Looks like you drew the nonexistent straw
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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