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Sun December 29, 2019
(CNN)
 
 
 
Build the Paywall! Build the Paywall! Build the Paywall!
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Normal deer: Chomp chomp run run hop hop. Baltimore deer: Knock knock no one's home through the window I will roam
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ferocious tiger
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hearst heiress' Hampton home in hellish holocaust
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
♫ Just another shoot-up Sunday, wish it were Monday ♫
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Oy
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A prediction of the 2020s
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
When your kid says they are going to start some fires, farking stop them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
U.S. sees highest number of mass killings on record. And there you were, hoping vinyl would come back in style
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Ah, I love a military parade. The tanks, the guns, the missiles." "Wait, I didn't know we had missiles." "Oh, crap"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Samoa lifts state of emergency over measles epidemic. Unfortunately, you're still only able to get Do-si-dos and Tagalongs in spots
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gravity is the tinfoil hat that cliff-side hikers wear to keep Tlazolteotl out of their brainwaves
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Doctor accused of 25 murders is suing the hospital where he used to work for defamation
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ponderer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
This week on CSB Sunday Morning: What's the most memorable New Year's Eve celebration you've ever been part of?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sydney decides it doesn't have quite enough fire already
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year 2019 Final Voting - your one-stop shop to links to all nine voting threads. Everyone can vote! Enjoy the best Farking headlines!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popsugar)
 
 
 
Paging Mr. Cool Ice, Mr. Cool Ice, please report...we have a new and awesome tattoo thread
source: edition.popsugar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Today we are going to test the myth that it is safe to park in the Mission district of San Francisco. Myth busted
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Uruguay seizes $1B worth of cocaine hidden as flour. That's a lotta bread
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
As the climate changes, will more towns opt to uproot and move to higher ground like the small town in this tale?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One of the most anticipated columns of the year: Dave Barry's Year in Review
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jesus, aliens, a baby alligator and a planet made of drugs: The most Florida news article ever
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Jim Beam fined in massive bourbon spill that killed fish. Delicious, delicious fish
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Urine trouble: Peeing at night costs the United States' economy billions
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when QAnon actually manages to take down a bad guy
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This three-hour tour didn't end so well
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 28, 2019
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Grand theft ambulance
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle Public Schools to parents: Get your damn kids vaccinated by the end of break or get your home-school materials ready
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Bus driver rescues toddler wandering around the middle of a busy intersection despite not having exact change
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: Keep your gun secure and unloaded when you're at Victoria's Secret. Not a euphemism
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
And the 2019 winner of the Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should Award goes to...
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
A look back at 2019, the most bizarre year in history
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
That's one way to keep people from passing a school bus on the road
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Pro-plaguers shut down immunization event in Nevada. Seems like Russia has weaponized American idiots
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this merry woman
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Police face down "hostile chicken" menacing local pharmacy customers, get pecked viciously in the process of apprehending the foul fowl
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So apparently Phanfone is not a new app
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man kills family, thanks NRA for making it possible
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this airborne belly flopper
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
America's most unlivable city is somehow America's hottest home market
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Took a minute to realize it wasn't part of the video
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Won't someone think of the people who suffer from noisy gas-powered leaf blowers?
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLTX Columbia)
 
 
 
Charlie McGee, Tuskegee Airman, centenarian, and retired Air Force colonel with 409 combat sorties in three wars, promoted to Brigadier General
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's 2020, where's my flyin...oh...cool (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Ring ring." "Who's there?" "Lawsuitshark"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Mother Nature realizes she forgot to give the U.S. a really nice winter present, makes up for it with a "coast-to-coast storm system"
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this smiling street sweeper
source: s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wiener)
 
 
 
Be on the lookout for a person or persons buying large amounts of mustard
source: northcentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cole and Marmalade)
 
 
 
For the brave men and women of the New York City Fire Department, they often go above and beyond to show that every life is worth saving. And one lucky kitten is here today because of it, just in time for Caturday
source: coleandmarmalade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Well Educated Guy)
 
 
 
"The bottom line of home economics - longer lives and healthier living - is arguably just as rewarding, if not more so, than mastering advance calculus"
source: mantecabulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Thai SEAL who rescued schoolchildren in cave dies from blood infection contracted during that mission. Elon Musk to claim he can die faster, cheaper and more douchey in 3... 2... 1
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
State of California: See you later, Alligator. State of Louisiana: Not so hostile, Crocodile
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happens to the Christmas trees that are too Charlie Brownish to get sold?
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVQ Billings)
 
 
 
People are trying to figure out what to do with Ted Kaczynski's old digs
source: ktvq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Woman assaults husband with multiple weapons in dispute over TV. If ever there were a home in need of two TV sets, it's this one
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Idiot of the Year late contender. Theft 3. Auto Theft 7. Assault 3. B&E 2. Attempted Kidnapping 4. Purse Snatching 2. Hit by Vehicle 2. All done in the space of exactly 90 minutes. People, I present Detroit's most overachieving citizen
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Twelve-year-old designs video game for blind and visually impaired children called "Please Listen," as his school science fair project. In other news, science fair projects are waaaayyy cooler now than they once were
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
Crews in Kansas using beet juice to treat roads for ice. Hey, if it works great, but what the heck is beet juice going to do to your car?
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVA)
 
 
 
If you live in an area prone to tornados, it would seem prudent to make sure the tornado sirens actually work before the tornado comes. Might have saved the wicked witch if they had been working in Oz
source: wtva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
IceHotel is back, now until April when it flows back into the Torne River
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
The words "I really suck at this" was said by A) a baseball player with a career .027 batting average, B) a guy who's ran for elected office 7 times and lost each time, or C) a car thief after failing to break into 3 separate cars
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 27, 2019
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
There are many good fried pickle recipes. This ain't one of them
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Louisiana trying to claw back almost $2 million in accidental tax refunds they sent out this year. In other news, Bill has a new bass boat and had a lot of fun with it this year
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marijuana Moment)
 
 
 
Pete Buttigieg's plan to decriminalize possession of drugs and empty the prisons will lead to the collapse of society because reasons
source: marijuanamoment.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The plans for the building where MI6 has its headquarters were briefly "misplaced" by a contractor during renovation. The efforts of the shadowy S.T.U.P.I.D. organization were thwarted, and the contractor has since been sacked
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
You know that embarrassment of going out in public in new clothes that still have the tags on?
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
The list that no Farker will want to miss reading: This year's compilation of the craziest "Florida man" stories
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Oh he's dead. He's walking around and breathing, but he's dead
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Never hold the door open for armed robbers, lest you get shot
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to New Year's Eve
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looks like there'll be no more fun, fun, fun, on the Autobahn
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Yes, I'd like to order a Big Mac, a number 9 and two 1s. And please hurry"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
FOR SALE: 2005 Honda Accord. 29/37 MPG, 17 gallon gas tank, 2.4 4-cylinder, cement exterior
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Tree beats crane
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Subaru WRX drivers are a bunch of reckless idiots, getting speeding tickets and DUIs more often than any other drivers. But not the Farkers who drive them; they just happen to be above-average drivers
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTOO Juneau)
 
 
 
Fire at fish farm released a bunch of salmon into the wild. Wait, what
source: ktoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Nevada prison system treatment plan for Hepatitis C: 1) Deny treatment because prisoners "Aren't sick enough"; 2) Wait until prisoners are near death, so they are an exception that doesn't require treatment; 3) Profit?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Don Imus settles in for a long dirt nappy
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The Beechcraft are flying. The Beechcraft are flying
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you parked your car in the middle of a pedestrian walkway, police would like to have a word with you
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Your ears are on fire, your warranty is invalid
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Hallmark recalls candles due to risk of fire. You don't say?
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Day)
 
 
 
Most people who are driving drunk try their best to conceal their activities until they reach their destination. Then there's this guy
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Dispatcher gives kidney to coworker for Christmas. Not sure how returns would work if it doesn't fit
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police are searching for an inmate who escaped jail by carving through a brick wall. Subby suggests they start by looking behind his Rita Hayworth poster
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Museum of Hangovers opens in Zagreb, Croatia, where you really can glorify that memorable night out
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fuzzy cow
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Skier buried in Austria avalanche rescued alive after five hours. St Bernard unavailable for comment
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJRT)
 
 
 
Kevin Bacon is missing
source: abc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Next-gen sex toys can hurt you. And that's a good thing, apparently (NSFW)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hot sauce recalled over explosion hazard, and not just in the bathroom later
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Please do not use a washing machine to give a 5-year-old a bath. That's what the garden hose is for
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bride and groom release doves during their marriage ceremony, then one dove plummets to the ground, thereby predicting the likely end of the couple's marriage
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Humans wiped out the great auk, also known as the original penguins. Happy feet indeed
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"That fashion accessory is rather ballsy, let's see if it works out for them"
source: familypet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
US base in Korea re-thinking if they should have put the air raid siren button so close to the evening bugle call button
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Mystery Grinch sends NJ family snarky note insulting their holiday lights display ... urges them to 'reflect on your flaws this offseason'
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
A whole lot of 'git off my lawn' types these days, 3 in 4 people aren't friends with any of their neighbors
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The meat industry is now claiming that Beyond Meat and similar products will make men grow mega moobs. The joke is on them, most Farkers already sport them
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption what this guy is saying to Chewbacca
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
52-year-old retired Navy SEAL gets accepted to Yale as the oldest freshman in his class, nervously anticipates being surrounded by crying liberal snowflakes everywhere he goes. The essay he wrote about his actual experience will warm your heart
source: gen.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Toy magic wands recalled over choking hazards, possibly injure people who were brave enough to...you know
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Advice to drivers: Don't park illegally in handicapped-accessible spot if you have meth in the car
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Hmmmm, tree edition
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Disney cast members in costume as Mickey, Minnie, and Donald Duck say tourists inappropriately touched them. Hey, Duck: running around without pants is asking for trouble
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ahhh, it's that time of year again: The your (common item) is x times dirtier than a toilet seat article. Today it's the The Sun with your car's steering wheel (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Apparently cyclists cursing while delivering Chinese food is enough of a problem in the UK that it was banned
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Already this morning I have killed a fox with a baseball bat. How's your Boxing Day going?"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Elon ruins Christmas. Again (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In their effort to better the world after stupid Boomers ruined it, Gen Z has invented living with roommates
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A look at the moment that placenta eating went mainstream. Whatever. I'd moved on to more obscure organs a long time ago
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Viddy well, little brother - the must-have fashion accessory for 2020 is the codpiece
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tennessee boy rewrites Two Front Teeth song
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Old Man of the Lake
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTV Bridgeport)
 
 
 
Florida man steals truck, threatens another driver, leads cops on the most Florida chase ever
source: wdtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The dangerous thing about allowing for mass paroling is that there aren't enough agents to supervise their release and ensure they're caught and sent back to prison when they reoffend
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Hope your voting appendage is ready for Fark Headline of the Year final round
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Airline forces a 10-year-old to remove a snake t-shirt for fear it could cause anxiety
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
70 year old busted for shooting in Beaver, twice
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This 10-bedroom mansion in Upstate New York can be yours for $50K with one catch: You need... wait a second, didn't I see this on "American Horror Story"?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Although Kazakhstan is glorious country, it have problems, too: economic, social, and airplanes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Still celebrating the success of Frozen II, Olaf crashes his Lamborghini into someone's garden
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
China executes man who set fire to karaoke parlor, killing 18. When asked why they didn't sentence him to life in prison, judge remarks "I did it myyyy wayyyyy"
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
For the love of God, Ms. Faith. Yes, for the love of God
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A man comes into the place you work at and asks to borrow a defibrillator to help someone who is having a heart attack outside. What do you do?
source: today.rtl.lu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Getting your wife's attention is getting harder and harder these days, but this should do it
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 26, 2019
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
This is why your kid needs an 80" TV
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Texting and driving? That's a ticketing
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Vegan influencer is now a hunter-gatherer teaching people to kill animals. Of course some people have a problem with this (warning: dead Fark mascot pic in article)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHG Panama City Beach)
 
 
 
H-e-e-e-e-r-e's Jason
source: wjhg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Boy from Six Lakes found dead in one of them on Christmas
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
A small detour: Missing couple last seen on Christmas Eve found safe three counties away
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what someone would find in your tackle box
source: mfasco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Woman discovers who her secret Santa is when the box contains a blue screen of death
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Fifteen years ago today 220,000 people learned what Boxing Day was
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Model train enthusiast opens home to the public. No mention of frozen imitation crab meat (video)
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
I thought everybody was down for shots on Christmas
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Your dog wants Funyuns
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Hopefully the knife used by a cook, who stabbed another cook, was eventually washed before being used to cut your veggies
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
When you spot a man outside of your apartment who you believe to be high, do you: A) leave him alone, B) call the police, or C) approach him, declare you're God, and fracture his skull while trying to "heal" him
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Time for the annual list of one-in-a-million slip-and-fall accidents
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Funny, this usually happens AFTER having Wild Turkey
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what could possibly be the problem
source: media.swncdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The MTA may only have 30% of stations accessible, 100% that smell like urine, and 120% of with delayed trains. But at least public beautification is coming back
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Capital Public Radio)
 
 
 
Big tech companies say they don't have to comply with new California laws because hell hasn't frozen over yet
source: capradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Two women sue Frontier airlines saying that on separate flights, they were each sexually assaulted and airline staff didn't contact the cops or help them gather evidence. Frontier says "giving a shiat about you" is only available in 1st class
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When a manger is unavailable, an interstate highway will do
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As more and more children continue swallowing magnets, lawmakers think maybe it's time to go full Warren G and start to regulate
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember the husband from that Peleton commercial that received all that mockery? Guess what he got his real-life girlfriend for Christmas
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
2019 will be remembered as the year that rampant, unchecked ageism against Baby Boomers became acceptable in mainstream culture
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
University in India to offer course on how to treat people possessed by ghosts. Jinkies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Today is Boxing Day. WTF is that?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car gondola. What'd I say? Gondola. What's it called? Gondola. That's right, Gondola
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Putin orders raid on the office of anti-corruption leader Alexey Navalny, with police forcing their way into the office in the most Sith Lord way ever
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Naysayers always coming up with reasons why difficulties arise in a marriage with 50-year age difference
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Study shows kids with dogs have a lower chance of becoming Christopher Robin
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
♬ Under the sea, Under the sea / Strip-mining's better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me / Up on the shore they work all day, Monitored by the EPA / While we be sailing, Dump toxic tailings, Under the sea ♬
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Fark, the servers were whirring 'mid spilled Maker's Mark. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but the Fark Weird News Quiz, from ox45 beer
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
"It's a miracle. It's a God-given miracle. It's a Christmas miracle. For them to walk away, I just want to say to God be the glory that they were able to walk away." Hmmm, Subby thinks the seatbelts was what actually saved them
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
"Steve, you can't just drive down the road in a skyjack drinking beer"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Love is a burning thing and it makes a fiery ring
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Country club leaders struggle with what to do about the discovery of over 40 rectangular depressions in the 7th fairway of the golf course, which were identified as graves of slaves. Unique sand traps?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Couple calls 911 after mistaking roomba for intruder. Cops shoot the thing after it makes threatening moves toward them
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Nursing home boss defends their Christmas dinner of purée de pommes de terre au fromage served with fèves au lard de tomates in an avant-garde presentation style. Better known as beans and mash slopped on a plate. Go visit Grandma and bring turkey
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lovers' quarrel
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
American Revolution re-enactors replicate Washington's famous crossing of the Delaware. Said one participant: "We are happy to have brought this great event to life, while at the same time guaranteeing our virginity for all time"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Refusing to be outdone by the F-35, Russia unveils new jet which can stay airborne just as long
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jerks start beef at Beef Jerky Outlet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHK World (Japan))
 
 
 
Many elderly people in Japan turn to crime because prison life has community, health and eldercare support they just can't get living alone at home
source: www3.nhk.or.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
According to prosecutors, at the time that Michael Avenatti was attempting to extort Nike, he was at least $15 million in debt due to owing money to attorneys, former clients, a former law partner, two ex-wives, and a partridge in a pear tree
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
U.S. Dept of Defense awards Boeing a $400 Million contract for engineering work on the latest bomber airplanes. Apparently the people at the defense department don't keep up on current events
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U.S. military now telling soldiers not to use home DNA kits. Predictably, DNA testing companies are wringing their hands, telling everyone that their products are super safe, and they would never share your info. Fark really needs a "sigh" tag some days
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Small Italian town lights up the world's largest Christmas tree ... for the 38th year in row
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLNS Lansing)
 
 
 
Not news: Flint residents told to not drink the water. New news: Bottled water. Fark: From FEMA
source: wlns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 764: "Seasons' Greetings 12". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 25, 2019
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
I see your dog chasing cat up tree with both getting stuck, and raise crews rescuing cat, owner from tree
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Strip clubs donating tents to homeless with their logo on it. Too bad they didn't donate all the clothes they didn't need
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Looks like U.S. troops are heading back to Syria
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Sappy enough to melt your Purple Heart
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until you puncture someone's spleen
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Space Nut)
 
 
 
Official proposed U.S. Space Force logos just plain suck. So let's be part of the solution and create a serious logo that a cap trooper would be proud to wear
source: magenta.as   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pensacola News Journal)
 
 
 
Three weeks ago a Florida man paid off past due utility bills for 36 families for Christmas. Finds out the World Wide Web really is World Wide
source: pnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Twitter bans the use of animated PNG files after folks decide to commentate Epilepsy Awareness Month with rapidly flashing images
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
But I would drive 500 miles And I would drive 500 more. Just to be the one who drives two thousand miles, So I can drop this dog off at your door
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
American Airlines CEO: Adding more seats and shrinking passenger space has been a great success. Actual AA passengers: We disagree
source: viewfromthewing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As much as I usually enjoy saying "I told you so," perhaps this time not so much
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Tag is used correctly, for once
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Following the devastating April fire, rector says there is a "50% chance" that the Notre Dame cathedral won't be saved
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Man survives bushfire hiding in pottery kiln. You could say...he's fired
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas all you Farkers. Did you get what you want for Christmas? Did you get visited by three spirits? Did you play a good Santa Claus to your children? Did you attend a religious service? Enjoy the holiday and take it easy
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The first time you walk into a bar naked it might be funny, but the second time you walk into a bar naked it's definitely criminal
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: What Santa is doing now that his one night of work is complete
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Watch these excited shelter dogs running to pick out their very own Christmas presents. Welcome to this Christmas Edition of Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/video)
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Amazon delivery driver suffers an overwhelming degree of holiday spirit. Declares, "Packages flattened while you wait"
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Local sheriff's department arrests Grinch, no really, Grinch. Extradition to North Pole pending
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The Christmas story in Britain is all about fog and frost, to be followed by momentary sun and Boxing Day floods
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Grandma now charging for Christmas dinner. Maybe it's to pay for being run over by a reindeer
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Enterprising police department is now delivering bait packages, fishing for "porch pirates." Units will be flying the "Jolly Roger" on squad cars that nab a pirate
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
Penis shaped ice rink unveiled in Siberia
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"In five hundred feet, turn left onto Donner Party Avenue"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 24, 2019
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
"He sees you when you're speeding/He knows when you don't brake/He knows if you've had a few/So don't go over .08. "
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
We have for you a mass transit option that can be brought to a standstill by a) a pencil; b) giving the general public access to the brakes; or c) farking hell, on the day before Christmas you know farkin'-A well it's both
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
It's like Santa Land Diaries updated for L.A
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
How did your God get into my contract?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Better dust off that walker, Harvey. The Los Angeles DA is investigating eight new cases of sexual misconduct
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
♫ You better watch out, You better not cry, While Santa Claus is robbing a bank ♫
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this upscale dining room
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Sometimes, to get things done, you've got to go the extra mile and just do it yourself. And make some beavers homeless
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Oh wow, man, like I forgot what I came here to get
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Uh, that's no sleigh (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fodor's Travel)
 
 
 
From steel town to town of tinsel
source: fodors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ironically, he'll be the one spending the holidays being put in a box
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Who among us hasn't gathered together a few dozen of their closest friends, blocked off an interstate highway, covered their license plate with a "Fark the Police" sign, and done donuts for 5 minutes?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer carrying car batteries catches fire, creating negative impact on PA Turnpike's holiday traffic. Truck towed to terminal. Driver not charged
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this timeless Christmas office party
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Wausau Wisconsin city council meeting: hey guys, I feel like maybe our police resources can be better utilized than arresting children for breaking our "no snowball throwing" law
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
See? Spelling counts. Otherwise, you might make a typo on the side of 10,000 new garbage cans the county just ordered
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
I've had it with these motherfarking stowaway snakes on this motherfarking plane
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Author of "End of Times" releases sequel, featuring a wholesome American couple on the run from the law, a dead ex, another dead ex, missing children, doomsday prepping, cult membership, self-declared prophet status, and a partridge in some tree
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
The Kommissar isn't the only one who vanished
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Who has fog this time of year? Chicago has fog this time of year. Who has planes stuck on the ground? Chicago has planes stuck on the ground. Planes on ground, weather unsound, special night, canceled flights. Must be O'Hare, must be O'Hare
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Many bags look alike, please verify that you have the correct bag before leaving the area" (NSFW)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Man is found guilty of disorderly conduct for mooning a woman. Claims his freedom of speech was violated. Protests as you might expect. Bonus: woman he mooned is Subby's fiance
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
'Obvious' tag doesn't begin to cover this
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
County plagued by BB gun vandalism incidents. It's only a matter of time before someone's eye gets shot out
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
This looks exactly like the kind of guy that revs up the engine of his lawn mower at all hours of the night
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
It's a very protein Christmas: alternative xmas favorites and some...less than classic cuts. Hear what commercial Christmas radio doesn't sound like, it's a PastFORWARD Family Christmas on PastFORWARD #113. Starts at 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Russia's warm winter has led to a snowless Moscow, plants blooming out of season, and a bunch of sleep-deprived and presumably very pissed off bears
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Force)
 
 
 
NORAD has been tracking Santa Claus for over 60 years. Maybe this year they'll finally get him
source: norad.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Attention Iowans -- be on the lookout for a graffiti vandal, possibly in their late ones or early teens who's now on Santa's naughty list
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
They are awesome for doing this, but it would be great if they never had to do it again
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Demon)
 
 
 
Hey, Charlie Charlie, is "Aggressive Satanism" a worldwide problem that will kill us all?
source: cruxnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Now Christians are filling up crop dusters with holy water and spraying communities from the air. There's no way anybody could misinterpret that, right?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
San Francisco cafes are banning disposable coffee cups. Henceforth, customers will have to carry their coffee in their bare hands
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Firefighter torches his own SUV after it was stolen and recovered because minorities might have used it. Wait until he finds out what fish do in the water
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Podcast Xmas Edition: presenting the History of Fark - Part 1. Pull up close to the fire and listen to Drew tell the tale of Fark at the dawn of the Early Web
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Suddenly, I know human anatomy VERY well
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these airline fuselages
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Anyone know where this can guy can get a card that says, "Merry Christmas, Daughterwife"? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
You know how all those spaceships in Star Trek use touch screens for everything? Yeah, turns out that doesn't work so well in real life
source: features.propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
That crazy racist lady in Iowa is still running into "Mexicans"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Old, hot air: People going on like a broken record about climate change. New, chilling: More than 120,000 weather records broken in the US this year
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Which one of these Santas is bring Drew the beer he deserves? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Here's a list of the animal that's most likely to kill you in each state
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
School bullies use old tuna-melt-in-the-face on vegan classmate, and the school considers Vegan Kid to be the problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Guy shoots three in definitely, for sure, trailer-home invasion. Story didn't sound fishy at all
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Someone in Wasilla AK is hiding notes in new toys: "HEY KIDS, Santa is Fake, But Jesus is real"
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
If you have a Spectrum Home Security system, there is a fair chance it hasn't worked in a while
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. John's Telegram)
 
 
 
Last ones to leave Little Bay Islands, please turn out the light
source: thetelegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 23, 2019
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Two "porch pirates" arrested with stolen packages. About 100 packages were found in their van. Only about 10,000 more "porch pirates" to go
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Three Minnesota judges throw out "revenge porn" law, because, well, Minnesota
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
Obstetricians grapple with whether to use marijuana during pregnancy. Well if it was good enough for the conception
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
Man on scooter tries to outrun police, all the while trying to ditch pills, heroin and meth. Chase ends when scooter finally falls over
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Let's drop balloons full of free gifts inside a crowded shopping centre during Christmas shopping. What could possibly go wrong?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Texas is getting ready to ring in 2020 in the most Texas way possible. By setting a fireworks stand on fire
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
California charity provides safe and legal space for homeless living in their cars to overnight. No snark, just a nice story about helping people who might either climb up or slip farther down from where they are
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Toddler appears to be a few moves away from defeating the Grim Reaper at chess
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 28 Columbus)
 
 
 
Ohio postal worker arrested for trying to put the "zip" into ZIP Code
source: myfox28columbus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Suburban school admits to plagiarizing winter newsletter
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's like the Council of Nicea...except Communist. So closer to Thomas Jefferson, I guess (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ugly-ass baby rhino
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight it's Paul's Memory Bank's Christmas Eve Eve show (8PM ET). A mixture of traditional and pop songs until things go off the rails in Hour 2
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man finally getting his shiat together
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Well, technically, unless Officer Carmo here is in fact an extra-terrestrial, that's just HUMAN strength he displayed, just a whole farking lot of it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Spanish Kent Brockman wins lottery on live TV, immediately quits. Fark: Turns out to only have won $5,500
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
According to a new survey, New York City is the rudest city in the country. And dammit you friggin' putzes, we like it that way
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
The city of Saint Paul plans to give every kid free college money. Well, about an hour's worth anyway
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause / under parasitic mistletoe last night
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shelby Star)
 
 
 
NC man accused of killing his wife with eye drops. Clearly, she didn't see it coming
source: shelbystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Old man says: "get off my apartment hallway welcome mat". Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Your yearly reminder from Obvious Claus about the flammability of desiccated evergreens
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
BBC discovers that people who are objectively the most intelligent among us regard "success" differently. Water is wet, BBC...water is wet
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Christmas snorkler
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Out of fears for safety, whistle-blower takes to CNN to tell potential attackers that now is the best time to act
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's the problem with joining an end-of-the-world death cult; there's no end of the world, but there will be death
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Boston finally figures out how to build affordable housing. Tax the rich
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
There are two types of people: those who have been to the Getty Villa and are not surprised by this video, and people who will say "I prefer the statues with bare marble"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Probably one of the most Alaska (Or Canadian) excuses you've seen in a while
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This is why Subby wants a subscription to NetJets for Christmas
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
China attacks US Space Force. Now, are the Chinese in the TIE fighters or is it the US?
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"It's going to be a Tsantanami"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
Mail carrier rescues mail and packages when his mail truck catches fire, saving Christmas for many. And probably a few fruitcakes, which won't burn anyways
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year Voting - your one-stop shop to links for all nine voting threads. Vote early, vote often. Preliminary round voting ends noon Eastern today
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year 2019 Voting Opens for TotalFarkers - Main
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Fark and Schnitt Podcast: It's the most disgusting time of year. Todd and Drew share a Ho-Ho-Horrific fast food drive-thru story
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Can we get a new pair of underwear for the young lad who was on the menu at the Dublin Zoo recently?
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Looks like Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman finally made the decision about who gets to take the official fall for his ordering Khashoggi's murder last year. Sucks to be you, five lower level aides
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Ah, American health care, where a visit to the doctor for a throat swab to check for strep gets you a bill for $28,395.50. Hey, but the doctor's office is waiving the patient's portion, so it's really only $25,865.24
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
This man on a swing is dividing the internet thanks to a potential optical illusion. Thank God he's wearing blue and gold
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You know things are getting serious when someone invokes the "on steroids" analogy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
News: Police raid house looking for suspect. Worse news: Armed confrontation results in 19-year-old woman shot 4 times. Fark: The suspect police were looking for was already booked into jail the day prior
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman admits to trying to open the plane's door in mid-flight. Why yes, alcohol was involved - before for her and after for the rest of the passengers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Good news, the Yellowstone volcano eruption is way overdue so we're all living on borrowed time. Also good news for those of us who just want to watch the world burn (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey's president says they can't handle any more refugees, and will start killing anyone who tries to enter the country. Admit it, you totally believed that second part
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ Fark, now hear the parents whine, a tag was born today And fark will have another tag, because of Saskatchewan ♫ ♬
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
"Subway employees were allowed to make themselves a free sandwich -- but the co-worker made a wrap, which was not allowed." Because this is Florida, you know what comes next
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Predictions for what the world would be like in 2020 are all over the place. They got that right. That wrong. And where is my anti-gravity belt?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ Zwarte Piet, how I love ya, how I love ya ♫ ♬
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Santa
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Author of "Be Here Now" no longer here. Or now
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Still not feeling the holiday spirit? Maybe these eight hours of vintage department store Christmas music will help. You're very welcome
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
"I came, I saw, I died." New paper finds parallels between the seemingly random failures of components in engineering and the seemingly random deaths of Roman emperors
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Germany has a shortage of Santas, Sprockets
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Gunfire breaks out at house party held to honor a shooting victim
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Greta Thunberg takes a shot at the PM down under over the fires; PM responds back. Not sure how one gauges success in this type of Twitter exchange
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The latest thing America has killed off? Lunch
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Tragedy at historic bar, whorehouse at Yeehaw Junction with unexpected intercourse
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You drink da wine of da coconut and then you throw up
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WikiHow)
 
 
 
How to protect yourself from an attacking rooster. Step 1: Distract him with snacks. Step 2: Get a shovel. Step 3: Light the barbecue
source: wikihow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Australia is basically on fire. Not portions...the ENTIRE CONTINENT
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Bug bombs are best used in empty buildings. Setting one off in a occupied senior living facility, while making for an interesting day, is a bad idea
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Human remains found in Joshua Tree. Cops say they still haven't found what they're looking for, but they will follow where the clues lead them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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