Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun December 22, 2019
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Help I am enslaved in a headline factory, forced to submit stories against my will
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Banksy does his own take on the Nativity in, of all places, Bethlehem
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Man shoots barber multiple times after expressing dissatisfaction over his son's haircut. Police have already cut to the chase
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these frozen berries
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN's news of the decade quiz by category. Test your knowledge of the decade and see which parts you did and didn't sleep through
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Legal weed is just 10 days away. Here is everything you need to know about buying the narcotics in Illinois on January 1st
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Breweries making specialty beers to help out cancer patient, because Fark cancer
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Yikes Virginia, there's lots of ice and fog
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy Hanukkah, Jewish Farkers. Subby is in Tel Aviv
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Leading Canadian marijuana producer halts project to build large facility in economically troubled Alberta town in a move that is in no way related to weaker than expected sales of legal pot
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this photographer taking a photo
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Captain Picard proves his point
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
183 years later, and the Battle of the Alamo still goes on. Now it's between Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and Land Commissioner George P. Bush
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 19 Tyler)
 
 
 
"Baby Yoda uses a car seat, be safe he will"
source: cbs19.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
The stench was like an outhouse fire ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ That's had started with burning tires ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ But they've cleared the road to let you pass ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ And though the road still smells like ass ♪ ♫ ♬ Roll up your windows if you drive through ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Moline
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Brazen thieves escape with several dollars worth of merchandise
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Yeah, cushy new dorms and more administrators are driving college tuition (and thus student debt) up, but they're drops in the bucket compared to the fact that state spending on college hasn't kept up with inflation
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Turns out the green ooze leaking on to a Detroit freeway is a cancer-causing chemical called hexavalent chromium, which is harmful to the respiratory system, kidneys, liver, skin and eyes. Someone call Erin Brockovich, fast
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A look back at the former glory and delight of department stores. Those were the days
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Forty different ways to protect Christmas trees from pets. Post pics of your solutions
source: animalchannel.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these radio fans
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
This week in CSB Sunday Morning, it's holiday road tripping story time. Let's just hope it didn't involve a four-alarm holiday emergency
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
School district opting to build the new football stadium instead of an elementary school, both of which cost about the same, would seem to be a play towards the wrong goal line
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Instant karma: Man accidentally shoots himself in the leg while trying to flee with stolen puppy
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The man who wanted to engage in a white nationalist war and was found to be a participant in domestic terrorism is using Trump's impeachment as his own defense because of course he is
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Man armed with a lightsaber causing trouble at a QuickTrip. Just another day on the mean streets of Omaha, Nebraska
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Didn't everybody have a Y2K closet growing up? "Go get some spaghetti sauce out of the Y2K closet. It's in there next to the D-cell batteries"
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A tree may grow in Brooklyn, but this Christmas tree is traveling all around New York City
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seventy-eight foot long alligator basking in Louisiana. Bring your s'mores fixings
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
We're getting closer to realizing Star Trek DS9's Sanctuary Districts
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Perp: Buy this Spam. Clerk: Eat a bag of weeners, instead
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Christmas cards from grandma were even freakier in the 1800s
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 21, 2019
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Report for the state of Massachusetts says one of the groups least vaccinated for the flu is healthcare workers. Well what could go wrong
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
$10,000 visit to a car dealership usually ends with a new car to show for it at least
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hmm. Wow. Oh god. That's incredible. That's insane. Creepy. Dear god, no. Hey, fantastic. Oh no. Uh huh. Aw geez (some images may be disturbing)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Forget killer bees. Asian Giant Hornets spotted in Washington state
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Woman gets catfished while driving
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Decorate your Christmas stocking and show us what you hope will be inside
source: cdn.skim.gs   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
On the anniversary of the Branch Dildonian invasion, the Hammond boys have their grazing permits revoked permanently
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
I triple-dog-dare you. Times six
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Four college baseball players playing a round of golf help lift an overturned mower off a groundskeeper. Bonus: It weighed 500 lbs. Extra bonus: it was pinning him completely underwater at the time
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 33/40 Birmingham)
 
 
 
SSA releases list of most popular baby names of decade. "King" and "Maximus," while low on the list, did actually make the list
source: abc3340.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sunny Guy)
 
 
 
Sunny
source: indeonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diminutive folding desk
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Another unforseen side effect of DNA and Ancestry sites is locating people who were abducted as babies from hospitals
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJTV Jackson)
 
 
 
Mississippi police arrest cereal drug dealer
source: wjtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cop in America's greatest state shoots himself ... while trying to shoot someone's dog
source: newsmaven.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you filed for a cash payout from Equifax as part of the credit bureau's settlement for its massive 2017 data breach, you're not getting anywhere near that much money. Because the lawyers emptied the trough, of course
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
"Downfall" parodies are now apparently too offensive for today's college students
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to Christmas
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I knew I had to do something so I ran straight up and punched it straight in the head," says Aussie dad about a python trying to take his 4yo son
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
"He just showed up at the back door of the police department and that's how he got his name. Outside Cat at Rear, which spells Oscar." Welcome to Caturday
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"Little bastard shot me in the ass"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
Man takes a nap and, well, THAT escalated quickly
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You know that Italian organization that exists but doesn't exist? Italian police arrested 300 members of it
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Largest demolition company in Detroit suspended after demolishing the wrong house for the second time in 18 months. Dumbass tag fills in for Follow-Up while the latter searches for a new house
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Mystery liquid" oozes onto Detroit freeway. RoboCop on the case
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 20, 2019
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you ever see me coming and if you know who I am ♪ ♫ Don't you breathe it to nobody 'cause you know I'm on the lam ♫ ♬ ♭ I might be in Colorado ♩ ♪ ♫ I might be hiding in the attic ♪ ♫ ♬ shoot, you found me ♪ ♫ ♬
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Two pedestrians, one in wheelchair, hit by car, and here come the pedants
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kung Fu Nuns - what's their favorite weapon? Nun-chucks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man found dead in freezer had notarized letter saying his wife wasn't responsible for his death. Well that's not suspicious at all, no sir
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this jumper
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Normal Police officer pleads not guilty to stealing $12k. No, that's not normal, that's not normal at all
source: week.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Tag Team Buck Battle Royale
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
In Australia, even the food-borne illnesses are becoming STDs and are trying to kill you
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOSU)
 
 
 
Starbuck and Apollo wanted for questioning
source: radio.wosu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"He and his mate - who was also his daughter and half-sister". It's not Alabama, it's Northern Michigan
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
It's HAPPENING in the Mojave Desert: 5 earthquakes in one day rattle secretive Navy base ...which of course means the worms are on the move
source: amp.sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you're an Iowan driving down the road and see what you believe to be "a Mexican," here's something you shouldn't do
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
If your travel plans go awry, Burger King will be there to add insult to injury
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Elf abuse
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Vintage News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this super-modern train
source: thevintagenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Thirsty headline of the day: "Water Thieves Steal 80,000 Gallons in Australia as Our Mad Max-Style Future Becomes Reality"
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
So it turns out there was plenty of PG&E smoke before the California wildfires ignited
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sex, smoking and verbal humiliation that some men pay $300 an hour for are the latest tools to make ballet training cool again in Vienna
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If he hadn't made the main page in 2012 when he drove a tractor over six police cruisers and a van, this would just have been the Dumbass tag
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
The Boston lobster war continues. Louie the Lemmon and Butters Vino wanted for questioning
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Where's Santa? Hanging out in San Diego with Ron Burgundy and living at a year-round Christmas store. You stay classy, Mr. Claus
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The secret that makes Baby Yoda so captivating." Well, I didn't really think the Disney marketing behemoth was that much of a secret, but here we are
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In case you have ever wondered how Times Square's Naked Cowboy avoids shrinkage and keeps warm in winter
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Requirement: Driver of upgraded Belgian military armored vehicle must be 5'7" or shorter. Degree of difficulty: Average Belgian is 5'11"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Crash-up derby isn't supposed to involve cruiseliners, right, Carnival captain? (nsfw audio)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Music students perform concert for dogs in shelter, suggest followup poker game
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
China's hinting it might open the door to same-sex marriage. Whether that's the front or back is entirely up to the loving couple
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Not news: pilot medically cleared to fly. Xmas news: Santa's reindeer medically cleared to fly
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
What ever happened to people involved in lacrosse just having a good old sex scandal or some butt chugging?
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Take a gander at these two love birds-of-a-feather who've found that a singles' ads for ducks really is all it's quacked up to be after suitor fits the bill. (Warning: Article contains fowl language)
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Maquoketa high school students play flag football with a cow tongue to talk about climate change' Yeah, we're not topping that headline today
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
It turns out even Charles Dickens had trouble getting his holiday packages shipped by Christmas
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Prince Philip admitted to hospital with 'pre-existing condition'. Pre-existing condition is known as BEING 98 YEARS OLD
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa man wants coyote back as emotional support animal, doesn't realize it's trapped under an emotional support anvil
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Police catch armed robber after using DNA he left behind after face-planting on a door
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, I was just scratching an itch
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Theme: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Link goes to inspiration
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mum says Elf On The Shelf is what's for Christmas dinner with yummy prank
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
Video
 
Jesus Christ, it's a sea lion GET IN THE BOAT
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Police officer stops moving car with his bare hands, redirects it away from children. Take that, cosplayers
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Boeing Starliner flies into wrong orbit, jeopardizing trip to Space Station. Now Bungling Starliner may soon be docking in a parallel universe
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
How 11-year-old girls experience the internet
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Christian megachurch is trying to resurrect a dead 2-year-old. Jesus Christ
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
To the left, the 10 bestest Christmas songs. To the right, aww who cares. We all know subby's taste is perfect
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Two teens injured themselves trying to stab a man on a bus. They're doing it wrong
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
So about the Department of Defense posting a picture of a Nazi who killed American POWs during the Battle of the Bulge. Was that wrong? Should we not have done that? Were they the baddies? Are we? Because there were very good people on both sides
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Texas police rudely interrupt Rise of Skywalker
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
The luxury yacht market in Miami is heating up
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
One resident called the police department to let them know that the holiday speed cameras gave him "the giggles"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 19, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fox news suddenly explained in a headline
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
German Jack Nicholson decides he doesn't want to die alone; offers free room and board for 10 people under 70 to live in a communal situation on his estate in New Zealand
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crosscut)
 
 
 
Branch Dildoian update: You did Nazi see this coming
source: crosscut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Gene Masseth has to take a cab now
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Intuit CEO explains that their agreement whereby the IRS does not provide free tax software: "We do this for good; this is a philanthropic effort"
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Florida vegans cherish all life, except for their own children
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
According to the headline, the first two days of living next to a barricaded gunman was pretty low stress. Some people are on edge now that we're on day 3. It is Detroit, so props for accuracy?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
As your attorney, I advise you to avoid these properties no matter how cheap they seem
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Two friends decide they're not buddies anymore over a bong hit
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
156 guns seized after Anaheim man trips own burglary alarm, roommate invites police to investigate
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Trans dancer wins suit against pasties allowing more nudity
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Drunk driving reaches a new low with a crash into a parked helicopter
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic birb
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Want to work your full time job with your baby in tow? If you are a state employee in New Hampshire, you are in luck
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meet MAMBO-9, one of the most distant galaxies to ever be observed and not a desperate attempt by Lou Bega to have another hit
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Here's why it's important to wash your hands before eating and also why you shouldn't wipe your food on a chromebook. (w/ pics)
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
English soccer geezer who had a J. Arthur in his jam jar in front of a finger and thumb and her bricks and mortar, cops Captain Kirk for no bees and honey and 15 ponies' compo fee from the local garden gate, but avoids bird lime in porridge, innit? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Someone was really keen on getting their vehicle back to the rental company on time
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, hotshots: Is Amazon's Alexa possessed by [a] Satan, or [b] irresponsible Wikipedia editors? With bonus unnecessary cleavage photo (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
A hater's guide to the 2019 Williams-Sonoma Catalog
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop your pet (dog, cat, hedgehog etc.) as a superhero
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
If a stranger asks to show $2,800 worth of puppies to his girlfriend who's waiting in the car, just say no
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Parishoners flock to see image of the Virgin of Guadalupe, which some men have commended as being strongly Georgia O'Keeffe-ish
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Hanging Christmas decorations actually goes back to the 5th century, BC Roman feast of Saturnalia. Fruitcakes are still being carbon-dated
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Fark HQ city of Lexington KY reminds locals that you must be at least 18 years old to own and operate a Death Star within city limits
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Randy rompy couple do an upper decker on bus in broad daylight
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
SWAT cop busted on suspicion of incredible 78-crime long rap sheet of perverted shiat - of which "making semen cupcakes" is somehow the mildest offense (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
No, you see, when I said I wanted a nice school shooting to distract from Impeachment, I meant a school shooting where nobody is hurt. I just want to traumatize children without killing them, you see
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GamesRadar)
 
 
 
For your reading pleasure while in line for The Last Skywalker, an essay on how the Prequels could have been so much better, if only they'd been completely different. Bonus: author thinks the Sith represent Libertarian ideals
source: gamesradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
For once, the shootings at Lubyanka aren't coming from the basement
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Not to panic you, but there's a deadly U.S. "doomsday" aircraft that carries no weapons but can "kill billions" flying around in the skies (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
One of subby's fun games is identifying British terror-of-the-day tabloid articles on Drudge merely by reading the headlines. "Russia's top general warns World War 3 is coming" is a winner (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pulse (Ghana))
 
 
 
Some of you swore you'd give your left nut for Trump to be impeached but this guy actually did it
source: pulse.com.gh   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"AAAAAAHHHHH" (Peeks again). "AAAAAAHHHHH" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
That Russian spy ship that was "acting erratically" off the coast of South Carolina and Georgia was probably trying to track the most recent SpaceX launch. Hey Ivan, good luck trying to out-erratic Elon Musk
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
High-powered executive says he's perfectly capable of procuring his own underage sex slaves, thankyouverymuch
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Jellyfish have invaded Crimea. Putin, stroking a jellyfish, denies all involvement
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this urban street view
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The town so tough if you can make it there you can make it anywhere got a surprise dusting of snow and it's national news somehow
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Is your neighborhood's little free library a Little Free Library or a shameless ripoff?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You're telling me that just because two young McDonald's workers were tragically killed by the soda machine, I can't get my 10-piece chicken McNuggets with honey barbecue sauce? Is that what you're telling me?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Where's your head, man?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Australia on a weather map looks like this many temperatures in Celsius
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Owl be home for Christmas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Break out the world's tiniest violin. And the world's tiniest guitar. And maybe a little picoscopic drum set. It's a party in the world's tiniest gingerbread house
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lego)
 
 
 
Just in time for your Christmas giving, it's a Lego set based on a popular entertainment franchise. Star wars? No. Friends
source: lego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
If you find a few pounds of red chiles under the hood of your car, it will probably run funny. Might start running hot too
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Surveillance footage taken during first Epstein suicide attempt is now missing. Obvious tag is missing too
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
WHO moves closer to cheap breast cancer treatment. Yes, that's what I'm asking you
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Missouri Legislator tackles our next national crisis...electronic highway signs
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon Man goes full GTA by robbing a bank, stabbing four people, and stealing two cars. Extra Fark: Subby was going to be going there after work
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 763: "Holidays on Display". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 18, 2019
(AP News)
 
 
 
After you've hidden 30 bags of frozen crustaceans in your jeans, you're gonna act cool
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Teachers love getting homemade cards from their pupils - although primary school teachers would be just as happy with booze
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DriveTribe)
 
 
 
These pricks are really on the inside
source: drivetribe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What are their Fark handles?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Airplane stolen by teenager crashes into fence in Fresno. Fresno? Nobody goes to Fresno anymore
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10 New England)
 
 
 
Substitute teacher decides to have a discussion on Pot while torching up a blunt in the classroom. What, was that wrong? Should I have not done that?
source: turnto10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How do you say "the Streisand effect" in Chinese
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Florida Man impeached by the House of Representatives
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Hope everyone enjoyed healthcare while they had it; an appeals court just ruled that the individual mandate is unconstitutional
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this javelin thrower
source: sportzcraazy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
$300K worth of medicine stolen in a San Diego burglary. In other news, party to take place somewhere in San Diego where the medicine will be burned one gram at a time
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For once, Florida man isn't acting like a complete idiot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♬ Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Gonna make a fake social media account or two ♫
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
The Newport Beach Public Library could update its policies to specifically prohibit bathing in restrooms
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
"The house was nice. I must have traded the rings for drugs"
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently Saint Nick was careless in the workshop because Santa's finger bone donated to monastery collection
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man on cycle path attacked by psycho path
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Meeting your doppelgänger has been seen throughout history as a portent of death and doom, maybe because they want to kill you to assume your identity like Florida Woman here
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Ex-Miss Kentucky sent her student sexual photos of herself because she had accidentally sent one and just assumed he'd blackmail her for more
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy 85th birthday to Lord Lucan, still living the dream in New Zealand
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
2019 has brought some spectacular new under-the-radar alt, indie, shoe gaze etc. Stop by for a retrospective: it's what 2019 commercial radio didn't sound like on PastFORWARD #112: The Afternoon Edition. Starts at 5.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
We tracked down adults to see if the (really dated) letters they wrote Santa as kids in the '80s and '90s came true
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Apparently in the Halloween off season, Jason goes around robbing convenience stores in Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guys and Dolls)
 
 
 
Photoshop these letter sweaters
source: theblogazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Here is the Texas way to recycle materials. Fark: It closes down a school
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Walmart shoplifter uses flaming bible as distraction
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just a dozen mystery objects showing up out of nowhere at a secret Air Force base near Area 51. Probably just an unmanned combat squadron run by our alien overlords
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Good: Colorado's RTD creates new bus service to alleviate traffic to ski areas. Bad: Inaugural riders spend 8 hours on bus. Fark: Bus driver takes wrong turn and has to be rescued by ski area's Sno-Cat
source: theknow.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
You can now watch the video for Wham's "Last Christmas" the way is should be watched, in glorious 4K resolution
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
50% of women in a relationship have a back-up partner which explains why she is not backing it up with you
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
A dog chased a cat up a tree and got stuck. The cat got down on its own. The dog, however...
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Liquor taxes could go up 400% if Congress doesn't extend current tax cut. Say what?
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If you're ambitious enough to cover a home with cheese slices, you may one day become legend
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Alexa, Uncle Joe is drunk again." "The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, Roman, nor an empire. Discuss". Alexa feature added that just might save Christmas in some households
source: uk.finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If you combine Angels We Have Heard On High and bellydancing, this is what you get. No, you are not dreaming after drinking tequila and eating garlic. Merry Christmas
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centers for Disease Control)
 
 
 
Are you prepared for ... The Puppy Plague?
source: cdc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Gold bar worth $1,500 found in Salvation Army red kettle
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
More and more Americans are asking the question: Why can't Santa be female or gender neutral? No, seriously. They're asking
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Because you need an end of the decade reminder, here are some of the worst gadgets that you wasted your $$$ on over the past ten years. Or just look in the back of your closet
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KESQ Palm Springs)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a caricature artist but leave your portrait behind, the police just might use it as your suspect description
source: kesq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Motile Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frenzied activity
source: es-static.z-dn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Just in time for Christmas, this boy received the best gift ever. This is your I'm Not Crying, You're Crying edition of Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
When a Hard Times article comes to life: Local punk band holds show at Denny's causing damage
source: la.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Legal expert on sex offenders turns out to allegedly be an expert sex offender
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You can tell it's global warming season in Alaska because the roads are sinking, the bridges are tilting, and the greenhouse gases are escaping
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
If you think you've had a bad day, just take a look at this person's accomplishments: Destroying $150k+ of cars en route to a dealership. Yes, that's just two Mustangs
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
You can add flying with a pet opossum to the list of things that will get you kicked off a JetBlue flight
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The US XVIII Airborne Corps celebrated the 75th anniversary of the Battle of the Bulge on its FB page with a glowing portrait of one of the battle's commanders. Strangely, they picked the Nazi war criminal who murdered US POWs during the battle
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Elf has too much eggnog, engages in mayhem before being arrested. No, Will Ferrell isn't wearing yellow tights again
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
You're not a very good Minnesota snowmobiler if you're rescued in Montana. Or maybe you are very good
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Architecture kills Architect
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Porch pirates in the DC area realize they can get more packages in less time if they just steal the whole package truck
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man drinks two bottles of adult beverage after train hits his car. Who wouldn't?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 17, 2019
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
People celebrate Festivus by sharing their top complaints about 2019
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Suddenly, pick up truck
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Who knew that scientific instruments that have secret source code, operated by high school graduates, using home brewed calibration standards may be inaccurate even though the results can send you to jail?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Valdosta Daily Times)
 
 
 
Dear Warden, You were right. Salvation lies within
source: valdostadailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Backstory for a Batman villain: A former sheriff's deputy gets caught trying to break into houses while the occupants were away at a funeral. Her name? Picasso
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
When you pass out drunk in your running work vehicle and emergency responders have to break the window you should expect a DUI, unless you're a cop
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Grandfather unlikely to take a plea deal in cruise $hip toddler death. I wouldn't know the rea$on why
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Remember that New York woman whose 16-year-old daughter was "kidnapped" in front of her? Well, there's a reason the word "kidnapped" is in quotation marks
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
FDA approves "lower nicotine" cigarettes, available in regular and menthol flavors. Because nicotine, not tar, causes cancer
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
"This holiday decor is making me rock hard"
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The weekend is not a good day to die at home in France
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Stupid food mashups, aviation milestones, and holiday promotions gone wrong are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec. 8-14: Digital Watches Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Thrown off the balcony naked, jump on the hood of a moving car, jump off, steal a car, hit an officer. Tada for not being shot by the police for being black
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Why build walls to protect people at bus stops from wind when you can build rotating cocoons?
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Dashing through the skies in 180 horsepower plane, 'oer the fields he flies, dropping presents down like rain
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dirty jockey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Making your GIF wishes come true, plus Headline of the Year voting begins
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Force a homeless person to clean the bathroom with his tongue in order to avoid arrest? Urinal-lotta trouble, officer
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dawn introduces dish spray, to be used in "dish soap breath spray challenge" in 2020
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bad: student stabbed by teens. Good: suspects identified and arrested. Bad: one of them jumps from a car and is now on the loose. Good: suspect ate bad shellfish. Okay, I'm making the last bit up
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Second dog killed by gators. Experts fear it will only get worse as the Orange Bowl creeps closer
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The creator of the Nomex racing suit has died. A Viking funeral would be an exercise in futility
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Father and daughter scammed the IRS out of millions after falsely claiming they won the lottery, and now they're hedging their bets on a trial
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Starbucks barista quits his job with spectacular expletive laden song
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Three-legged bear spotted wandering around suburbia
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
It's here: Oh, No, Not Again: The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology is available on Amazon. Stars, bars, quasars, and more, and once again all proceeds go to charity
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Last week, we learned that Amazon throws away all your returns. This week, we learn that dumpster divers pull things out of the trash to sell on Amazon. So it all evens out, right?
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Utah is strange place, but keeping your dead husband in the freezer for 10 years to collect $177,000 in government benefits is "kind of smart..still creepy"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Yemenis are blaming sin for their climate change misfortunes. Sounds familiar
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Seals with high-tech hats are collecting climate data, are more fashionable than you could ever hope to be
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wallaby
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you live in Florida, you better learn to run faster than 11mph
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Finland has already apologized for Mart Helme on a number of occasions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Far Side)
 
 
 
Get your cow tools: The Far Side is finally online and full of surprises
source: thefarside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law.com)
 
 
 
He then told the attorneys to eat a bowl of male genitalia
source: law.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
The French are still revolting
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Residents of Sussex have completed a petition asking people to stop referring to Harry and Meghan as the "Duke and Duchess of Sussex". The primary beef appears to be "I didn't vote for them" and maybe something about oppression (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Man accused of contacting juveniles through social media, asking them for pictures of their bare feet for sexual gratification. Sounds like it's time for some serious sole searching
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some people choose to shape their final legacy by including a charitable bequest in their will. Some donate to a university, others build a hospital; Sir Donald Gosling left £50 million to the Queen of England to buy a new yacht
source: tatler.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mother horrified to learn her young son wrote some not-so-jolly messages in her Christmas cards
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aspen Times)
 
 
 
Museum visitors have spent hours waiting in line at museums and galleries around the world to experience just a minute in one of Yayoi Kusama's Infinity Room installations. Now there is one in Aspen, so expect bottle service and cocaine
source: aspentimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Behind-the-scenes Star Wars facts you can pontificate while in the theatre line. Impress the ladies with your knowledge & unshaven neck
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCT Greenville)
 
 
 
116 years ago today, two bicycle repairmen from Ohio changed EVERYTHING
source: wnct.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
The owner of the Can Can Room, one of Vegas's oldest strip clubs, looks exactly like you think he would
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politifact)
 
 
 
You're not going to believe who told Politifact's "Lie of the Year." Close runner up: whoever submitted this headline
source: politifact.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
Up on this week's dive into the historical vaults of alt, post-punk, goth, etc, it's Split Enz, Curve, and a band with a glyph for a name. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #111. Starts at 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
OK, maybe you're not in a big hurry to get to Cleveland. Maybe you want to leave it at 700 mph
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this good boy
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Three adorable kiddos bring back souvenirs for nearly 179,000 total strangers from popular vacation/measles hot spot
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Magnetic north just drifted through an arbitrary imaginary line created by humans. Please take appropriate action, it might drift through another imaginary line at any moment
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"Shiatter's full. Have some candy"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Honey, I shrank the douchebag
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Guess who turns 30 today. D'OH!
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Measles enthusiasts manage to block New Jersey vaccination exemption change
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Military)
 
 
 
Fat cops, fat cops, whatcha gonna do? This U.S. Navy pilot's farkin' done with you
source: popularmilitary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Des Moines Pallet Nazi receives some helpful feedback from the community
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ominous cave
source: civitavecchia.portmobility.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Doorbell cam captures stranger pooping on man's front porch. 41 videos worth. "Next, he goes over to a corner of the porch and defecates on it, and then spends the next few hours stumbling and spreading feces all over the porch"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
If this NJ yard looks familiar, you are spending too much time on Fark
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Cluck Norris has been caged. Coo-lamity Jane still free as a bird
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A whistleblower sent a complaint to the Internal Revenue Service that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has amassed about $100 billion in accounts intended for charitable purposes? Say it ain't so, Joseph
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Cousin Eddie says Twitter is full
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news: doctors have found a way to avoid the common cold. Bad news: it's the flu
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ: Voters will decide next year whether to amend the state constitution to legalize "a controlled form of marijuana called cannabis." Uncontrolled forms of marijuana would still be illegal
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Ho ho ho, Merry Closet Druggie
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines don't get stolen from a dealership in Arlington, Va by the dozen
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Sappy: 12-year-old boy saves dog from Australian bushfire. Straya: By fleeing in his big brother's pickup truck
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 16, 2019
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"An Ontario man said he was skating on his lunch break when he came across three deer stranded on a frozen lake and decided to take action." F*cking degen
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Federal embargo enacted on snow being imported into Canada
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Why do we allow people to vote who we don't trust to buy booze? Or cigarettes?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No big deal, just a Russian spy ship that's not responding to calls operating off the coast of South Carolina
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dice game
source: store.schoolspecialty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
The first of the year-end shows on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET). Tonight the most played songs in my iTunes library (sorta like a "greatest hits")
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Newest thing to be killing you? Clutter. If accurate, subby is posting this from the grave
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sex robots to be able to determine who is desperate out of a crowd (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Hey you Farkers, stop stealing Amish warning signs
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A truck loaded with Brussels sprouts overturned on a Scottish highway, leading to concerns Christmas dinners will be affected. Yes, really
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Plastic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weird 3D printed tentacle art thingee
source: uploads-ssl.webflow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Here's a good reason NOT to open your front door this holiday season if you hear knocking late at night. Maybe don't even look at your Ring app either. TRUST A FARKER ON THIS ONE
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
"Hey lady, nice clam you got there". Uh, excuse me, it is an oyster
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Professor charged for offering to pump for a guy on Grindr
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
MS man may be released from death row on bail while awaiting his SEVENTH trail for a 1986 quadruple homicide. Prosecutors are pretty sure they've got the hang of this fair trial thing now, and they can get a conviction WITHOUT violating his rights
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australia declares two or more alcoholic beverages per day is unsafe, meaning most Australians are probably already dead
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
You're going to want to sit down for this shocking news, turns out inhaling unknown substances into your lungs makes you more likely to get lung diseases
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
5-year-old girl could not wait to show her mom a boo-boo on her middle finger during school play. One particular finger in the middle of her hand
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Former NASA engineer Mark Rober is back again with the Glitter Bomb 2.0 for would-be porch pirates, now with improved fart spray and Macaulay Culkin
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Teacher says turning his classroom into a slaughterhouse was a huge success
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
All he wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
NASA's SpaceX launch captures large winged dragon lurking in the clouds around rocket. Probably looking to mate with fellow fire breather (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
The Santa doing blow sweater is now available on Amazon
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman blamed for her own murder by: A) Bitter ex-boyfriend, B) Drunken stepparent, or C) The head of the NYPD's Sergeants Benevolent Association?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Strike number three for Starbucks employees dissing cops. To be fair, the barista really did think the guy said his name was Oinker
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Getting drunk then getting 'caught having sex with a corpse' in an autopsy room is no way to celebrate a footie win, sick scientist (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Probably not a good idea to light a cigarette if your car is full of air freshener
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Princess Peach costume
source: kclproductions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
French authorities: Our turret-mounted speed cameras are invulnerable to attack. French drivers: Challenge accepted
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Mother learns she is pregnant, then gives birth nine days later to "the best Christmas gift since Jesus"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Just because I surrounded my house with pallets painted with Confederate and Nazi flags doesn't make me a racist
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Guts)
 
 
 
Hallmark and the Lesbian Love Story Wedding Kiss, episode 3: The Redemption
source: newsandguts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will result in the school cop slamming me repeatedly into the floor
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Deceived man finds allegedly undisclosed workers' healthcare surcharge on restaurant bill, sues for $50,000. Well, back to tips and ER visits
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you don't like the way I drive, stay out of the convenience store
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israelis say it's not kosher to kill the wild boars that are blocking traffic and tearing up landscaping
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Mom: "I'm on a boat." Kids: "We're in a bus." Cops: "You're going downtown"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
American transit agencies shocked, shocked I tell you, to discover that the Chinese firm supplying their train cars has some serious ethical shortcomings
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
SantaCon Santas subdue slur-shouting stabbing suspect
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
In Today's "Weird or Cool From Japan": The last DIY kit you will ever need
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
X
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.