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Sun November 10, 2019
(Salon)
 
 
 
Philosopher believes dogs essentially want steak
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Airborne missile slams into upper floor of building at high speed. It's 911 all over again
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Dam, dam, dam... (and again 37 times)
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these space capsule pushers
source: mk0spaceflightnoa02a.kinstacdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
First they said we couldn't bury them because it was bad for the land. Then they said we couldn't dump them in the ocean because it was bad for the sea. Now they tell us we can't even burn them anymore. What's left... shooting them into space?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
California hiker finds out the hard way why you might not want to go it alone on Darwin Glacier
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Japanese employers ban women from wearing eyeglasses at work because it makes them look mean. Man, the optics on this are terrible
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this saffron field
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Some days the headlines just write themselves: 'Russia's greatest Napoleonic reenactor was found drunk in a river with the severed arms of his lover in his backpack'
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If the snakes, spiders, and kangaroos don't kill you, Australia ensures its wildfires will
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
On your next flight, stick to drinking alcohol if you don't want to get sick
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
How to tell if you have a bulls**t job
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Workers simply having a wonderful Christmas time after cheesy holiday songs were banned from their store
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
At the University of Maryland, you can now get a Master's degree in medical marijuana. Protip: applications to the program must be more than "bro, I am all about weed"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
A typical news story from our futuristic 21st Century states that we have a) greater computing power, b) self-landing rockets, or c) more demand for exorcists
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Chimpanzees and villagers clashing in Uganda. If some enterprising film producer could come up with a storyline, this might turn into a movie franchise
source: relay.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Texas couple listed as world's oldest, longest married, most incredibly adorable etc (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
In other news, producing and selling marijuana vapes that contain vitamin E acetate is still legal in Washington. Sleep tight, vapers
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pelican
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Evangelical pastor accused of preying. Had to fight with the spell check on this one
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Colorado man is shocked to find out that if your wife suddenly disappears with no explanation, some people might notice. Some even ask questions, like, repeatedly, even though people go missing every day
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Warner Brothers rebooting "Heat"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Multiple Telegram chats are becoming marketplaces for porn. STOP STOP OH GOD STOP
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Slope off a bit and ponder the skulduggery that is the skive. What?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Hawkeye takes on his latest foe -- the homeless
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Due to a mistake on the part of the Social Security Administration, a woman is denied medical care and life-saving medication, as she was erroneously listed as deceased. SSA: Oops, our bad
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Anthony Bourdain auction concludes, brings in more-than-expected $1.8 million for CIA scholarship fund. Priciest individual lot: $230K for meteorite-blade custom chef's knife. Cheapest: Zegna blazer billed as containing "some stains"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Suddenly, upside down car
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If it's so easy to disguise a cell tower as a pine tree, why does Subby get no signal out in the woods?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 09, 2019
(Komo)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Carjacking. New Fleekness: Carstacking
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Editorial calls for Chicago drivers to look for bicycles on the road instead of on the sidewalks they should be using
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Superman reportedly felled by Heisenberg's blue Kryptonite
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
A real life Sheldon Cooper, age 11, is a junior attending the University of Minnesota, and is "dreaming of his first quantum physics class," after finishing high school at age 9
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Paul Manafort's former son-in-law is trying to out-do him in failed criminality: renting homes he didn't own, trying to pay a doctor with a bag of weed, selling non-existent backstage passes, pawning someone else's band equipment
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Millennials just keep ruining it all. Now they don't want to go into debt over diamond wedding rings. It's like they are getting wise to the debt racket or something
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this black bovine
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
Well, all those eviction letters were sent by mistake. But as long as we are talking about it...
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
A firefighter should be able to back a firetruck into a station. Unless he just got back from a call and is too drunk to do it without actually backing the firetruck into the station
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Not news: One train derails. News: Two trains crash into each other. Fark: Three trains collide
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
French woman who wasn't French enough turns out to be French enough after public French uproar
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
OK, Shroomer
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these frozen Estonian balls
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
My wife hated that I became a meme, until the paychecks started coming in
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
What is life like in one of the "whitest" towns in America?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Dangerous winter blast puts 31 million under freeze watches, warnings. Minneapolis residents, LTFAO
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Woman was sick of finding dog poop in her front yard. So she set up mouse traps to catch the perpetrators. Wait...you can do that?
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this header
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
OK world, here's how 'OK, boomer' went global
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
Hop on over to Caturday
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
"You can take my freedom but you can't take my vacuum"
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man swimming in waters filled with sharks mysteriously disappears. Wife identifies his body by the ring on the man's hand -- inside a shark's stomach
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
You can now dress your child in a baby mop onesies that absorbs the splashes and spills on the floor as you day drink the afternoon away
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
This is why you should read the fine print on your Amtrak ticket
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Forty questions for people who immediately stand in the aisle when the plane gets to the gate
source: verysmartbrothas.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Health Inspectors find horrible things, but leaking sewage pipe patched with duct tape in a restaurant must be one of the more awful
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
An elephant never forgets but they still can confuse an Austrian for an Australian
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Subby isn't sure if this incident at Waffle House violates Alabama's labor laws but whatever
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 08, 2019
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Recipes from 1730 BC have been decoded, and if it was Subby's grandmother the meat would almost be done stewing
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
Won't someone think of the mannequins?
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Sneaky not-so-smart seal infiltrates new shark barrier at popular Aussie beach because he thinks it's a safe haven
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Man Shoots Bear Leaves...wait I don't think that is how that goes?
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Has anyone seen ALF around? $18,000 cat missing in Roswell
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Any gender-reveal stunt you can walk away from is a good one
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Banned Balls
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wisconsin driver accused of this 10th OWI, will shoot for a bakers dozen by end of 2020 if Packers win the Super Bowl
source: wizmnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Despite all their new centrifuges going, Iran is shaken, not stirred
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ivory carving
source: homeandaway.gallery   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Imagine if 1800's Deadwood had followed the self-checkout business model (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Judging by his mug shot, I'm pretty sure we know who 'stole' this dude's marijuana
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1923, Adolf Hitler's Beer Hall Putsch began, proving that not all ideas you come up with while drunk are good ones
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Multiple women were sexually assaulted or killed using China's Uber competitor Hitch, so to ensure their safety, the company imposed an 8 p.m. "curfew" on female riders. After intense backlash, the company relented. Now men AND women have the 8 p.m. curfew
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but...Oh, sorry. You can't sit down. No chairs. Hold on, let me pull down this folding couchdesk...wait, gotta collapse the toilet...OK. Anyway, so it looks like tiny house living isn't all it's made out to be
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Now even the turkeys are attacking Boomers
source: newjersey.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep... like my Uber driver
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This time, the Nope is mechanical
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
You may have seen some good Halloween costumes last week, but was it '7-month pregnant lady dresses as Fat Thor' good? (pic)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
You know how it is: first you start hitting the sauce in the food court, and then you get national fame for baffling people with your behavior
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If Martin Scorsese directed Marvel films (LGT inspiration)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Russia's new kamikaze 'bomber drones' could be IMPOSSIBLE to stop, especially when they swarm. Unfortunately they don't have real kamikaze pilots manning them as they would have the human element for mistakes
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twisted Sifter)
 
Boobies
 
I'm only submitting this to see boobies on Fark's Main page again
source: twistedsifter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Vitamin E acetate found in lung fluid of every case of lung damage from vaping, which means this was entirely an issue with black-market products. IE: These people got sick because of cannabis prohibition. But hey, let's sue Juul instead
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Arctic blast forecast for next week will bring temperatures so low that _____
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Orangutan granted "personhood" by judge settles into her new home in Florida. She's already considering a move because of all the whack jobs down there
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"I'm a heroin addict and brought drugs into house where children lived, but my niece didn't OD on my drugs. She must have bought them from the same dealer I did." Works better if you're a former cop
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Yes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Original Marlboro Man cut down in prime of life. Fark you, cancer
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Weird: coming home to find a dead woman in your living room. Stranger: cops finding the bodies of a man and a dog upstairs, both dead. Twilight Zone: and a bomb threat scrawled in blood on the walls
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
There is no brawl like a NYC subway brawl where strap-hangers just stand by and watch someone get pummeled.... wait, people actually stepped in to help out?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after her baby's BAC found to be 0.359%. To be fair, it only takes like one beer to get a baby that drunk. They really can't hold their alcohol
source: fox46charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Irish chicken drinks Guinness while guys in pub...it says here...egg it on (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
If you're going to be charged with putting razor blades in Halloween buckets be sure to blame the 3-year old. Also, candy wine pairings, and wanton high speed destruction #freehongkong
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Two mates make "the greatest stuff-up in the world", become millionaires after accidentally buying identical lottery tickets after screwing up whose turn it was to buy tickets
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is National Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. Subby plans to celebrate by going back in time and posting headlines
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Old Florida problem: Our beachfront houses are being destroyed by hurricanes. Solution: Build state-of-the art "dome houses" that can withstand any hurricane. New Florida problem: Our state-of-the-art dome houses are sinking into the rising ocean
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption these benchwarmers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
AirBnB CEO: "Golly, we had no idea that so many of our listings were complete scams or death traps. We probably should have been reviewing them a little more closely. Oh well, water under the bridge. We'll totes do better in the future. Kthxby"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
The town of Paradise may have been destroyed in a fire a year ago, but its high school football team has gone undefeated. Fark: Still may not qualify for the playoffs
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
U.S. warns Iran is preparing a 'nuclear breakout,' which could lead to 'nuclear Combat' by 'nuclear Missile Command' with humanity reduced to living underground like 'nuclear Dig Dug'
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Researchers at the University of Oxford and Fudan University have found a way of making fake rhino horns in effort to ruin poacher market...or something
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Thirty years ago tomorrow, the Wall came tumbling down
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
The new bleach sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings seems like it might be a step too far
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
Boobies
 
City pays $50K, drops charges against woman who was issued summons for playing Frisbee topless
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
University student who admitted planning a school shooting and was deemed a "threat to society" bonds out of jail
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Are you a registered sex offender trying to hook up with under age girls? There's an App for that. Fark: A Bible App
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Somebody paid $46,000 for a single snow crab. Why? "Rich, creamy innards." Well why didn't you say so?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Folks)
 
 
 
Photoshop these small business people
source: commonwealthfund.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Man fights off home invader with battle axe. "I've got a double-headed carbon steel battle axe that was homemade by a gentleman who has since passed. That's what I call my baby," Also, is that a roll of toilet paper in the video?
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
White man enslaves black man. Go on, guess the state
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(India Today)
 
 
 
Think Delhi's air pollution is bad? It doesn't even make the top 10 most polluted cities in India
source: indiatoday.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
State agency spends $12k on team-building event. Fark: at Main Event
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Turns out Australian animals aren't dangerous. All animals just hate Australians
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
"Extra lemon" is code for weed in your sweet tea now?
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Local homeowner stumped as to how this bird got into his yard
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Climate change could wreak havoc on cemeteries, leaving millions dead
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cat burglars are supposed to land on their feet. Better luck next time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
A man with rare disorder who acts out his dreams and nightmares each night while he sleeps finally drove his wife to sleep in another room. After 41 years of marriage, that might have been his goal
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Her mistake was not having someone else steal pills while she was on vacation
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 07, 2019
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Free Fried Chocolate, get it while it's hot
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
So you're telling me there's a chance
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not even the San Diego airport is immune to Epstein memes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Press)
 
 
 
Kmart or no Kmart, the voters don't want to go there
source: dailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sick of paying your way-too-high rent? This Italian town has an offer you can't refuse, free houses for anyone who'll move there
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Steering becomes very difficult when 200 cattle are released onto the interstate in Montana
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rock Paper Shotgun)
 
 
 
Blizzard attacked by U.S. Congressman for letting racism flourish in World of Warcraft. Man, I bet that guy plays a gnome, everyone knows you can't trust gnomes
source: rockpapershotgun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
The University of Michigan chose an Iranian military veteran as a "visiting scholar." What could go wrong?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Health officials urging Hepatitis A vaccine to go along with your Moons Over My Hammy at your next Denny's visit
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: the "Now comes the time when we throw our heads back in laughter" move is a good response to a stupid post, but a bad response to murder charges
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Don't worry about these futuristic weapons that are designed to destroy you, comrade. In fact...wanna buy 'em?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this musical performance
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
North Korean defectors handed back after authorities discover they killed sixteen people on their fishing boat, suggesting they may not be Best Koreans after all
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson's socks from his first on-stage moonwalk may sell for $2 million at auction. Michael Jackson's glove still in evidence locker for DNA testing
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
I'll take "Who donated part of his Jeopardy winnings to cancer research in honor of you Trebek, for $10,000"
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
♫ It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Man named "Sidebottom" shows up at woman's home and stabs himself 10 times after she won't become more than friends
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
Five years ago, "Too Many Cooks" debuted. It was truly a kinder, simpler place back then
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
In other news, there are "safe" levels of metal in chicken products
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Born in France? Fluent in French? Complete a PhD at a Francophone university? I'm sorry, your Frenchiness isn't French enough for Quebec
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Police in Wisconsin say a drunk driver was arrested for his third drunken driving offense after he was seen driving all over local roads with a live chicken on his shoulder
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Ferret. Why'd it have to be a ferret?
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fauquier Now)
 
 
 
Yeah, we're using new radios that break your garage door openers. It's all security-ish and stuff so you have 30 days to replace your garage door gadget
source: fauquiernow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ichthyologist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diver getting schooled
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Time for the annual list of strange write-in votes. Come for the "Gritty for school board", stay for the implication that the author is farking Mrs. Claus
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
First, 911 was called due to an angry customer using racial slurs. Next, 911 was called because a fight was started. Finally, 911 was called because shots were fired. Guess the restaurant. (Hint: Not Chuck E. Cheese's)
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
DUI suspect in Long Beach crash arrested again, police say. Man, how long is that crash?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Programmers create fake news AI so powerful, they say it should never be released. Since you're on Fark, you know what comes next (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If only there were some item readily available to measure the scale of this accident
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Florida: "I have sinkholes" Hawaii: "hold my Mai Tai"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Both halves of driver dead after car bisected by pole
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
If you dug up a grave, took remains, and left two dead chickens in the hole - Jobu and the Police would like a word with you
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"HEYNEIGHBOR, DOYOUWANTOTSEEMYNEWCHAINSAW ANDHOCKEYMASK" Well, DO YOU?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Forget the Tide Pod Challenge, the Tsunami Pod Challenge is here to see if you can keep your lunch down while riding out hundred-foot waves by bouncing around in a day-glo orange ping pong ball
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Heavy snowfall kills 3 people in Kashmir. Jimmy, Robert, the ghost of Bonzo, and JPJ scoff at their lightweighted-ness
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Federal help requested to find reverse Nazi turtles. Man, these gritty reboots are getting out of hand
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
We've already had 10 billion-dollar weather disasters this year, and that doesn't count California's fires or winter storms yet
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This theft is dildos
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Either let it slide or move out of Detroit. Nothing good can come of telling someone to turn their music down
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Poop-powered pop-up pub is sustainable, disgusting (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Cisco from The Flash has fallen on hard times
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1940, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge briefly became the most exciting ride in Washington State
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
OK, fess up, California Farkers. And don't blame the dog
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
101-year-old woman still hunting. Recently killed two deer, with one shot. In other news, you still haven't won a single match of Fortnite
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 10 Sacamento)
 
 
 
Authorities speculate the event was caused by resident asking suspect what his major malfunction was, calling him "numbnuts"
source: abc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Free tacos on a Pennsylvania highway, some assembly required
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
There's "missing the point" and then there's "Death row inmate forgives victim's family before execution"
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Article suggests to "get perspective on your problems with the size of space". So, your life sucks but that's O.K. because the universe is really big and doesn't care about tiny insignificant you and your problems. There. Feeling better?
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
You know it's a slow news day when Newsweek is giving instructions on how to play the Powerball
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Pack it in, good Internet, your days are numbered
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Terminator" gets thirty years, immediately claims "I'll be . . on block C"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh. In the NYPD jungle the city jungle, the Bronx Zoo lion lady sleeps tonight
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Uh sir, we just found some cockroaches living in your ear"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Something stinks in Kansas City, and it's not just Andy Reid's clock management
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico (Europe))
 
 
 
Remember kids, the GDR was not German, it was not Democratic, and it was not a Republic
source: politico.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Napoleon's favorite general has been formally identified after DNA tests on a one-legged skeleton found under a dance floor in western Russia." And they say history is boring
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Missing Scottish man's hand found inside shark, suggesting he may have been kilt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
OK, Coal Boomer
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fang)
 
 
 
After years of research done by doctoral candidate at LSU, New Orleans is home to at least 50 'real' vampires. In related story, you can get a doctorate in almost anything these days
source: 973thedawg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Panicky Guy)
 
 
 
Possible snow forecast for Carolinas, Virginia. Milk and bread distributors spotted high-fiving each other, lighting cigars with $100 bills
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Friar)
 
 
 
Photoshop this relic keeper
source: chicagocatholic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
As if this story needed to get any weirder: The town that the Mormon family slaughtered in an ambush in Mexico came from was also a recruiting ground for a "girls boarding school" run by a high-ranking "slave" in the NXIVM cult
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
While you poor Fortnite gamers game away in your mom's basement, millionaire Fortnite cheat FaZe Jarvis' hangs with his gamer homies at his £11.6million Hollywood Hills mansion with 10 bedrooms, cinema and a stripper pole. Suckers
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"For today's weather forecast, cloudy with a chance of DUI"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Georgia death row inmate will get 2nd last meal after execution is postponed because packing an artery may be just as efficient as lethal injection
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
It isn't just T.I.: Parents around the world are taking their daughters to have the gynecologist grab them by the
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
USMC pilots in Japan engaged in inappropriate in-flight horseplay during missions. Report on deadly crash reveals that they regularly read books, groomed mustaches, and took selfies while in the danger zone
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WEAR Pensacola)
 
 
 
Search continues for airman who unintentionally fell out of perfectly good C-130
source: weartv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAM Rochester)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: When robbing 70 year olds, don't put your cash and gun in the wheelchair. Oh, and don't let the old man get his shotgun
source: 13wham.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Everyone stand to attention for successful penis transplant surgeons
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
You can now buy "art" from a vending machine in Las Vegas. No word on if you will get a Picasso or a Garfunkel
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Flu vaccines are known to only be somewhat effective due to different strains and variations. Even less so if they are unexpectedly replaced with insulin
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Clear the fog off your windshield before driving. Or be like this woman. Your call
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
So, I guess it's illegal now
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
London Theatre production of Death of a Salesman nearly turns into Death of the Audience
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 757: "Orange 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 06, 2019
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
Tourists still flock to see Taj Mahal despite dangerous air pollution in the area. Or at least, they think they're seeing the Taj Mahal - could just be a random apartment building or airport. Hard to tell, really
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Excuse me, but they're called "squash," so I did
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
Video
 
Chonky boi gets a little help from the fuzz
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
To increase overtime in its factories, China restricts children's access to video games
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Edward Teach would be pleased to know the Queen Anne's Revenge is still involved in acts of piracy
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Streetsblog)
 
 
 
Turns out magnetic rocks are doing a public service
source: sf.streetsblog.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Do you want ghost forests? Because this is how you get ghost forests
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Aircraft passengers evacuate after pilot accidentally hits hijack alarm button. They also had to leave the plane
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Fake funerals for those dying to have a better life apparently are teaching lessons to the living...or something
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Finally some good news coming from millennials, their fear of the coming climate apocalypse is making their birthrate fall
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Preening Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this twisty bird
source: cdn2.outdoorphotographer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to read a bunch of nonsense trying to explain why requiring cyclists to wear helmets is a bad thing? If so, today's your lucky day
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Zefrank has dropped a new "True Facts" video on leafhoppers and friends. Zefunny, 'cause that's how Zefrank do
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Here's the story of Roneese and Billie Jo. Two folks at Mickie Dees who decided to have a go. Roneese pulled hair and maced some folks and tripped them. Now one's laid up, looks like she may have cripped him
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New shiat has come to light, man, like, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Hey, look at the pretty GPS tracker that I found at the jewelry store that we robbed. I like it, it goes with my other bling
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Bigfoot goes missing in Florida; police report filed. If you or someone you know is holding Bigfoot, please let him go
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's barely 22 days to go till Thanksgiving, and the upturned noses at Huffington Post already have an article to make you feel like History's Greatest Monster every time you take a bite of that delicious turkey
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Dang. Now I'm in the mood for a PB&J sandwich
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Your honor, my client is an idiot
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
Long time Farker has a radio show diving into the historical vaults of alt, indie, shoegaze, etc, plus new cuts. Tune in to a BONUS EDITION to hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like. Starts at 5 PM EST, LGT streaming links
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
Weeners
 
Nothing says romance like making a ring from your swimmers and presenting it to your wife to celebrate your vasectomy (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Now Ear This)
 
 
 
Photoshop this specialized microphone
source: cdn.vox-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Marriage breaks up and husband takes up residence in shed. Then things get crossbow-y. And kind of murder-y (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Meth - not even once. Unless you're pregnant
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Harvard's Law School traces its origins to an Antiguan slave owner, and now the country wants reparations. This should be interesting
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Tesla to unveil new 'Cybertruck' this month. 'Megaweapon' still in development
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
When your ride to the hospital costs more than your double lung transplant
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
BALLS
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
First the NY Times trashes the world famous Peter Lugers Steakhouse as worthless, now they are saying the Mona Lisa is an overrated garbage painting. Expecting a future trifecta about how New York isn't the greatest city in the world
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good, and this guy is very, VERY lucky
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man blown through two wall by propane explosion, which somehow involved the cooktop and ammunition going off. It's OK, though, DNR Officer Cody was able to save the guns
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man has an eight-inch screwdriver removed from his rectum after pushing it so far up it poked through his intestine and that's enough internet for today
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The clitoris is not just for pleasure say scientists who were unable to locate any
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Navy pilot who chased USS Nimitz UFO off the coast of San Diego at super high speed now says tapes of his encounter are 'missing', probably hidden with the grassy knoll incident or Jimmy Hoffa's whereabouts (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Sleep walking. New hotness: Sleep shooting your wife
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
William Shatner (born 1931) gets hit with "OK boomer," hits back with double karate chop to the neck
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Scientists develop video tattoos for un-losable watches, blood sugar readouts, Golden Palace Casino ads etc (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's the information you've been waiting for all year. Come one, come all. This is bigger than the elections yesterday
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Queen is doing something about the fur situation, if you know what I mean
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Breaking news: The Earth is hot. October was the hottest October on record, just like every month has been the past year. Also water is wet
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Kicking the salmon" isn't a euphemism, it's a crime
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The cracks were found on what is known as the "pickle fork"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decanter)
 
 
 
Party at the International Space Station
source: decanter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
And the winner of the "Are you trying to get the jury to convict just by your mugshot?" award goes to...
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Geography, technology, and pop culture all go in the blender for the creamy, fruity smoothie we call the Fark Weird News Quiz, Oct 27-Nov 2: High Humidity Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
Video
 
I really don't know how to describe it. It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack. It was almost as if they were... organized
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
CA: Cops conduct a $10M bust in what will surely be an object lesson to those who would violate the majesty of the local marijuana laws
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Thus raising the question: Who eats only *half* a dolphin?? (possible nsfw content, half-eaten dolphin on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
You know that Keystone pipeline oil spill in North Dakota? It's going to be nearly impossible to clean up
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her big guns
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, 20 award-winning photos of dogs from 2019's Dog Photographer of the Year competition
source: desli.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
So, apparently Generation X has decided to ally itself with the Baby Boomers in the coming "OK, Boomer wars." OK, Molly
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
No matter how much of a fan you are, please don't grope the Disney cast members
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
People who wear tracking devices all day suddenly concerned about privacy now that Google is involved
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Drones have discovered a pre-columbian Florida village, mostly by the middens of ancient natty lite cans, cigarette butts, and ceramic meth pipes
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Family files suit on Chicago PD for raiding a home despite knowing their target wasn't there. How is the family 100% sure? The man they were looking for had been in prison for 5½ years by then
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Apparently, being handcuffed, tied to a chair, beaten and Tasered is the way the Boulder County Sheriff's office deals with "suicidal" suspects. At least they didn't just shoot her
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
If you work for an armored truck company, they're going to know who you are when you steal a truck even after you dye your hair
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A ban on sunscreen by Key West may itself be banned by the governor
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man steals about 60 instruments from a youth orchestra and pawns them. Even more criminal, in Florida the victim has to pay the pawn shop to get their stolen property back
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Local magician's car stolen as thieves make his entire bag of tricks disappear
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
'Sir, it's illegal to drive with an open container of alcohol in your car.' 'That's fine because I don't have an open container. **hic** I've got 24 open containers.'
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
After having failed his driving test 27 times, UK's worst driver comes up with a brilliant plan and pays impersonators to take it for him. In related news: Everyone in the UK now warned to stay off the roads (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Boss pays off employee's mortgage so employee can retire. Much better than the normal cruddy watch
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 05, 2019
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Breathtaking view of Lake Michigan. Expected to go very quickly
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Man accuses woman of being a liar after she blames a local tame deer for her serious injuries in what is certainly an attempt for Appalachia to get its own Fark tag
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Police recommend you pull over in well lit public area and call 911 if a cop attempts to pull you over in Dauphin County
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Saracens rugby club fined for salary cap violations. Persians, Turks and Byzantines seen double-checking their books
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Crazy person convinces themself that their OCD is actually an example of health, wellness, and sustainability
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 24 Memphis)
 
 
 
From All-Souls Day to No Souls Day
source: localmemphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The fall of Deadspin - the view from the trenches
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Cynical social media voices can erode trust in news media, science says. But what do they know, this whole fake news article was just written by liars chasing cheap clicks
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Frosty Bar
source: i.etsystatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Driving an ambulance will not get you out of your second DUI, Mr. Fire Chief
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: When the shirt hits the fans
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Peppa Pig isn't just a gangster in China, she'll fark up your brains everywhere she's watched by her target demographic
source: wraltechwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
13-year-old escapes from juvenile court. 5', 110 lbs, wearing leg restraints and no shoes. Be careful trying to apprehend him though, you don't want to be the third person he's suspected to have killed
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Three students' fascination with the sinking of the Titanic led to one of the most unusually realistic Halloween costumes of 2019
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Scooby Dooby doh
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Catholic Church launches an investigation after two of their penguins become pregnant while working in Africa. Bonus: One of the penguins was a mother superior bird
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Happy 40th birthday, Morning Edition
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cash machine blowed up real good
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
At least THIS guy listens to Mom, gets off PlayStation, goes outside and saves dozens of people from fire
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lottery winner decides to play the lottery
source: lotterypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop hydrant flushing in Piqua
source: piquaoh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
'A man stole an electric shopping cart from Walmart and drove it from one bar to another to avoid a DWI' No word on his Fark handle
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Climate scientists now say the only way to save the planet is to go all "Logan's Run" on the world's population
source: ca.finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
With the release of these vintage Happy Meal toys, McDonald's is betting that millennials love nostalgia more than they hate single-use plastic
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Apparently earning a merit badge in Dutch scouting is a lot more hardcore than it is in the U.S. I was in Cub Scouts, and I don't remember needing to be branded
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Public Health Emergency Declared; Toxic Smog Seen from Space One official called the international city a "gas chamber" because of the pollution. New Delhi's Smog Is So Bad That Planes Can't Land. Can't think of anything funny about this
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Crossbow granny will shoot at you if you don't get off her lawn
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
For the fifth time in the last month, a driver has gotten their SUV stuck on a boulder in Northwest Omaha. If only there were some way to know there's a giant yellow rock on the median
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida woman's groin contains many mysteries, but police say they all are illegal
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Fake patrol car set up to make drivers slow down is destroyed when struck by speeding driver
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Study finds out the obvious: People really will say anything to get laid
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1556, a Mughal victory in northern India assured Ackbar's ascension to the throne, where he ruled over a court of learning and education, mostly about traps
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Driver on Toronto highway: "hay this would be a good place to just start doing donuts with my car"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Man critical after being shot twice. Well yeah nobody would be too happy if they were shot now, would they?
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicagoans have lots of casual sex during the winter months as it's not like they've much else to do
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago cop running 15K race in full SWAT gear saves woman's life, then proposes to girlfriend at the finish line. Showoff
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
17-year-old student poses for senior pictures on railroad tracks. Since you are reading this on Fark...
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Socks charged in crash that killed a teenage boy. Wow so clothes are trying to kill us now?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Deputies in Butts County responded Halloween night to three 911 calls {At the local Waffle House} minutes apart. The first reported an angry customer; the second, a fight; and the third, shots fired"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
California has a dam problem now
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nine women and children killed by drug gangs in lawless northern Mexico. (crickets) They were white, blonde, and American (begins cranking air-raid siren)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
In move no doubt caused by a radioactive burrito, Iran to inject uranium gas into centrifuges
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
This is your brain. This is your brain on worms (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Woman killed by her own pet decidedly-below-average Danes
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
The 'Deadpool Prowler' may sound edgy and subtly cool, but it's really just a creepy, fat, old guy wearing glasses and a Deadpool T-Shirt
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bus station in Tilburg, the Netherlands (difficulty: no starships)
source: cdn.vox-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
It wouldn't be bonfire night without some idiot sticking a rocket between his naked butt cheeks and lightning it off for all to see how the stupid burns
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nursery to 2-year-old girl: "Go have a funny-looking forehead somewhere else"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cut in line for a chicken sandwich? You bet that's a stabbing
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
College club working to give a hand to children who don't have one but need one
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Two chicks at the same time, man
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Yakety Sax Bear Hunting
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
Lobster boat catches deer five miles from shore. Deer picked up, given a few bucks and dropped off on land
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Motorcycle club members used to be a real rough and tough crowd, now some have mellowed out and crisscross New York delivering donated breast milk
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVA Anchorage)
 
 
 
That trade war with China is finally netting some good at home. All that food that the Chinese are not buying is being bought by the U.S. government and donated to U.S. food banks. So, we've got that going for us
source: ktva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Lottery winner buys his own resort. "Now, this is an investment, not a toy, so you can take a good deduction on this purchase," accountant tells him
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Like in most prison movies, these guys used a blind spot in the facility to escape. You would think the people that design prisons would watch those movies
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 04, 2019
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "911 supervisor playing Netflix movie didn't send cops to attempted murder"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
New addiction support group serves Seattle's restaurant and bar workers. So if you just can't stop dealing with idiots who refuse to tip and demand to speak to your manager, here's a place you can go
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Fast-acting firefighters manage to save some chickens after fire, officials say. No word on whether they were served original or extra crispy
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Frankish cathedral sacked by vandals. Not a repeat of the 5th century
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
'Twas only a flesh wound
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If your idea of getting famous is quitting your job and scoffing 5,500 calories at once, you may need to reevaluate your life (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
PSA: People shouldn't adopt military dogs, plus one other thing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
You've heard of bootleg booze, bootleg music, bootleg movies. How about a bootleg zoo?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Oh Canada, how much lead do you have in your drinking water?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The homeless in Austin, Texas may want to relocate, as the next step appears to be ... *checks notes* ... collecting them with bulldozers for processing into Soylent Green
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bloke, who obviously has been drinking, spots 'old man's face' on Mars, claims 'statue' was made by aliens and is proof of intelligent life on the planet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Please note: your one-day Amazon Prime shipment has been delivered to the right hand lane of Westbound 210 in Claremont, California
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Dragon
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Passengers remain frustrated with LAX's new pickup system, apparently wanting to go back to the old 'just buy someone a drink and make eye contact' system
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Back to "Swinging the Alphabet" on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET). All songs have titles that begin with the letter "M"
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
Video
 
Korean Air upgrades flight safety video with top-shelf K-pop performers, who teach passengers how to sing, dance, rap, and inflate vests in the unlikely event of a water evacuation
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Playful headbutt from dog leads to successful brain cancer surgery for political candidate. Wow, that must be quite a dog
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Journalism Review)
 
 
 
Remember that journalist from the Des Moines Register who got fired for offensive tweets after digging up offensive tweets from that Busch Light kid? No? Well here's his side of the story anyway
source: cjr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's a good thing asteroids keep missing us by a country mile, because we ain't even half ready (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Antibiotic-resistant CRAB bacteria popping up in Western Washington health care facilities. See, I thought that was why you used those little combs
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Hippo's balls drenched, says F U to NY
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Richmond's missing sidewalk has come home after drunken forgotten weekend. Homeowner now has something to go on
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Voyager 2 sends back first message from interstellar space. Text of message reads "What does 'Resistance is futile' mean?"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this street scene
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Man dies after trying to eat 50 eggs. Paul Newman, George Kennedy unimpressed
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Iraqi security forces attempt to ballistically enliven protesters
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Recalling the time a regimented, socially conservative high school was destroyed by demons
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
HEY, I have an idea. I'm just gonna beat the crap out of this 67-year-old in this elevator. I'll even clean my fingerprints off the door frame. No one will ever catch me. (Looks toward CCTV camera)
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: