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Sun October 27, 2019
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dallas, you have a major problem with your police force shooting people in their own homes, even when it's their own kids
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sculpture
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Old hotness: stamp collecting. New hotness: pine cone collecting
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC's first subway opened 115 years ago today after four years of work with shovels and pickaxes, but with modern technology it now takes four years to find a working subway bathroom
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this astronaut
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Aviationist)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just a secretive U.S. Air Force space plane landing after spending two years in orbit
source: theaviationist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
People like to talk about how much they care about the homeless ... right up until they are actually confronted with them being homeless in public. You know, where people can see them and everything
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
This just in: trucks make bad sailboats
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Old and busted: low bridge. New hotness: magnetic boulder
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flip
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Co-worker completely missed a recent deadline because his house had been "invaded by bears." What's the most creative excuse you've ever heard (or used) for being late or missing a deadline?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Your gender-reveal announcement should not be so explosive that somebody gets killed by the shrapnel
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
A Fark-ready headlines go, "Angus man who tried to fly drone into Perth Prison claimed Romanian circus stole his chihuahua" is right up there with the best of them
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
"Rover, what IS that? Put that down. Oh crud, is that a ... no, bad boy. Hello, 911, yes my dog found ... well, I'm not sure, but I know what it looks like"
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BNO News)
 
 
 
Why do we even have a clock? Mass shooting in Greenville, Texas. Unconfirmed details are light, but possibly 2 fatalities and over a dozen injured during homecoming party
source: bnonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Seafood restaurant criticized by SPCA for letting customers use arcade claw machine to grab live lobsters now claims it has fixed problem by keeping lobsters in machine, taping over the controls. "For now we don't play, we just display"
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Prayers aren't going to save you from poor choices and mother nature. Maybe you'll learn a lesson here and build in a flood plain like the rest of America
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
No car go when escargot cargo embargoed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Catastrophic wind event leads to largest evacuation order in county history. Californians urged to lay off the Mexican food
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hug your children tight tonight. This is the sickest most depraved thing I have ever seen
source: halifaxtoday.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Track worker from Santa Anita takes job home with him. BoJack inconsolable
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
Former IRS employee and attorney arrested for... you guessed it, tax evasion
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 26, 2019
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Minnesota museum is holding a creepy doll competition. Sweet "Minnesota nice" dreams, Farkers
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Uber driver picks up new mom from hospital, takes her shopping for baby clothes, pays for the clothes. Hero tag invites Florida tag to step off
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Business owner reports property crime. Suspect arrested, released hours later, returns to business to commit another crime, re-arrested by same officer. It's the ciiircle of liiiife in Seattle
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 25 News)
 
 
 
What is it with random stuff falling out of the sky this week? Now this object is considerably bigger, and does in fact look like a satellite. This time we know whose it is. Story comes with video, too
source: nbc25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pink curvy chairs into a more interesting setting
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Police bust $30 brothel in Fark's favorite state, where prostitutes were being paid just $15 per trick. This discount craze is really catching on
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
"21 facts about serial killers that will horrify you but you'll read anyway"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Surely, the Tick Fire near Los Angeles can't be all THAT bad, right? Let's take a look from the air and... oh my
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Sometimes the headlines write themselves: "Southwest flight attendant caught pilots watching bathroom livestream"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
420²
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
When testing your new tires, make sure your brakes work
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... meth users
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(That thread about the geese)
 
 
 
Photoshop this anserine stareout
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
22-year-old killed in industrial accident at food processing plant was said to be loved by many, well grounded
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cole and Marmalade)
 
 
 
Fluffy therapy cat spreads joy everywhere he goes, even Caturday
source: coleandmarmalade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
High winds provide office tower window washers with midday excitement, soiled underpants
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Seattle Muggles get their own Leaky Cauldron. Come for the smoke and fire-infused alcoholic potions, stay for the ghosts you can take home (via app)
source: seattlerefined.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
The entire development sits on part of a cave system, and it's moving
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
A responsible and useful tweet from POTUS
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EMS 1)
 
 
 
I heard you like drunk driving
source: ems1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mystery object falls from sky and damages house. No one recognizes it. Anyone lose something and want to fess up?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Protip: If your job has you working with the smallpox virus and you're offered the vaccine beforehand, you probably should get it just to be on the safe side
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You can't kick me out of the casino if I live there
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 25, 2019
(LA Times)
 
 
 
PG&E is determined to teach the peons who has the power
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
Disney costume thief gets Goofy, fights with officers. That'll leave a Scar
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Manhattan makeup artist finds a cocaine stash in a box of Sephora beauty products that was sent to her, rats out the poor schlub who left her forklift operator's card in it. Thanks, Debbie Downer, now you got her fired
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Panic as London unearths knife hoarder's trove of daggers, axes, small nail clippers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
"Police have been called to the library 28 times for theft, 17 times for trespassing and eight times for a fight or disturbance this year"
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
When all the kids who went out in the first round of "Red Light Green Light" grow up and get together for a reunion
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
An oral history of those creepy Chuck E. Cheese robots. Good thing it's Halloween
source: melmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Kayaker risks his own nuts to save drowning Fark mascot
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Argus (UK))
 
 
 
Photoshop this Brighton busker playing his invisible stolen piano
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man assaults officer, hides in dumpster, then hides in a port-a-potty before being caught. Assaults officers again with the stench in the back of the patrol car
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Daily Tribune)
 
 
 
Not news: Police arrest heroin dealer. News: Identified suspect from texts on the phone of an overdose victim. Fark: They used the dead man's finger to override the security on his phone
source: columbiatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
It's the story of an elderly driver who drives her car off a boat ramp and the kayaker who rescues her but really that's any day in southwest Florida
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And you thought ATT had bad roaming charges for people, check out this eagle
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What's a Florida mother to do when her son won't stop playing Fortnite and take a shower?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Home turned into giant Cookie Monster for Halloween, will OM NOM NOM trick or treaters
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Professional cosplayer stabs boyfriend in back and leaves him to die, which leads to the question, "Professional cosplayer"?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Facebook's new "trusted news" section will include Breitbart. Someone say something funny, I got nothing
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
While catchy and rife with crossover potential, 'The Tick vs. Santa Clarita' just doesn't sound like a satisfying ending to either series
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia is getting more American after all
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cable car
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man sets up hidden camera in his roommate's bathroom to get video of her naked. She discovers the camera, finds video of him jerking off in the shower
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Whatever)
 
 
 
Pumpkin spice has become more than just a flavor. It's a way of life. Evidence? You can now find it in people's armpits, in their toilets, and in/on their baby makers
source: okwhatever.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The good news is that the country has at least advanced to a place where Representative Katie Hill is *not* under investigation because of the naked bong rips
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Your commute may be bad, but did you have to drive through a cloud of embers while plows pushed ashes off the shoulder?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Not news: Man walks into emergency room. Holy Fark: After being shot 15 times
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Shoplifters will be prosec- . . . sorry, that should read 'shoplifters will be stabbed in the chest with a machete'
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Ted Danson (former bartender/current 6000-foot-tall fiery squid) arrested trying to make the world a better place
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Home alone doggo, now named 'Archie the Arsonist' goes rogue on protecting the domain, sets owner's house on fire while playing with BBQ lighter
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
An antique store owner puts a Virgin Mary statue in the parking lot. He wasn't expecting to be the next pilgrimage destination
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Hammered and playing with your genitalia in public is no way to go through a Luke Bryan concert, Mr. Massachusetts State Trooper
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Got This Covered)
 
 
 
The war on Halloween escalates
source: wegotthiscovered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Not news: Two Hollywood actors are locked in a blood feud. News: For thirty years. Fark: It's Tom Hanks and Henry Winkler
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
A man known as "Cooter" and a woman known as "MILF" were charged in a large methamphetamine conspiracy
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fresno PD after shooting an unarmed black youth in the head- justified shooting, imminent threat to others. Reality- he was unarmed, running away while keeping his pants from falling down, and the PD was shooting in the direction of a daycare
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Now more pixel proof for you non-UFO believers: New "clearer USS Nimitz UFO footage 'showed it had legs below tic-tac body.'" Total proof of aliens, indeed (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bizarre late-night club life hack revealed: Female reveller whips off her knickers on dance floor in nightclub to use as hairband (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mysterious Universe)
 
 
 
UFOs are so old news. T-Rexes living in Texas are the new black. Link was referred to subby by George Knapp
source: mysteriousuniverse.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
An indignant pregnant mom. Kids on public transportation. Entitled old people. All this story needed was bad tipping and it would have been a perfect poutrage thread
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Intoxicated man shooting at shadows seems pretty happy the cops showed up to provide some bright light
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
The fourth USS Indianapolis will be commissioned this weekend. No word if the band will play Baby Shark
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Italian police bust 'Mafia plastic recycling ring'. Wait....what?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Jimmy "9 lives" Carter is released from the hospital following a pelvic fracture
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy handling his sausage
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
"This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can." LCdr Robert Copeland, USS Samuel B. Roberts, Oct 25, 1944. 75 years ago today Taffy 3 pulled off a miracle at the Battle off Samar
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
You think my karaoke singing is bad? That's a headbutting
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
♫To all the gods people have worshiped before, who are now forgotten and remembered no more, you entered our lives, when our superstitions were ripe, to all the gods people have worshiped before♫
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you're the sort of very special consumer who took out a 7-year car loan that you failed to pay off and rolled into your next 7-year car loan, NPR wants to hear from you, dumbass
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Dozens of victims say Lyft is fostering a sexual assault epidemic
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Prince Philip has another royal wife removed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Yeah, tipping sucks and it should go away, but you really should leave 30% every time"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Con artist to drought-stricken farmers: Give me $50,000 and I'll make it rain and save your crops
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Kirkland is tired of taking six tons of crap from your dogs daily. Volunteers have decided to throw the yellow flag at it
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Macmillan Publishers: "It's time to crush our competition. That's right, let's go after Public Libraries"
source: ebooksforall.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Liah, liah Planet's on fiya
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 24, 2019
(TMZ)
 
Boobies
 
He needs to feel the bumps
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
The father of a four-year-old girl blamed a double shooting that injured them both on the four-year-old. Predictably, his story didn't hold up for long
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Officials working to get overpopulation of wild horses and burros under control in the west. Rangers seen handing out XXXXXL prophylactics
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
No other state would tolerate deliberate power black-outs for a minute. Why does California?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Rumor has it that North Korea's Kim Jong-un will get mini-me version of himself for his family's evil lair after "pregnant" wife vanishes from public
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Next time you run into a detour due to construction, just remember, at least it's not 41 miles out of the way
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Self-admitted Lego thief convinces judge nobody can prove he didn't buy all those drugs he possessed with a gambling jackpot. Fentanyl is awesome
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 News Dallas)
 
 
 
Swing Set Susan charged for impersonating a public servant. After being arrested for assault in an unrelated case. What a surprise
source: fox4news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these witches
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
10 year old scrambles down 300ft down ravine to reach his mother who'd fallen, staying with her until help arrived. Meanwhile subby's 9 year old had to spend 4 hours in ER after getting a Lego stuck in his nose
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Thief caught on camera opening door of SUV, stealing food, and littering. Suspect is black, 2' 6", may be armed with pic-a-nic basket
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Family arrives at funeral home for a private viewing and discovers a stranger's body in the casket wearing their loved one's clothes
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Traffic in Everett is bogged now because of a log jam. No word on when the tire fire will start
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
I'll be in your bunk
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
'Premarital exams' for women, popular in Utah, may send wrong message, some experts say. Around here we call that 'living together'
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
A third-rate burglary occurs at Warren's New Hampshire campaign office
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cafe in China that paints dogs to look like pandas facing backlash as it doesn't actually make them taste better
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
DOT suddenly realizes that Indian burial grounds don't make good bridge foundations, also that panty hose makes for terrible wallpaper
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sportsmen
source: ca-times.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
Boobies
 
FDA's "black box warning" for breast implants leads people to wonder why they don't just make the whole implant out of what the black box is made out of
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Alaina Leary: "I'm sorry, I have prosopagnosia - do we know each other?" Subby: "Maybe, I'm not sure"
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hunter gored to death by deer he shot, enters irony hall of fame
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Thirteen HS football players were arrested over allegations that they sodomized teammates using "deodorant bottles, cardboard rods, flashlights, soda bottles, pipes, and baseball bats." Five have been sentenced. None has done jail time. Guess the state
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Actual police department statement: "In the future, we will confirm our stuffed animals are not offensive"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Old Water fire burning in San Berdoo. You'd think that they could use the former to put out the latter
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Literal cone head
source: sthelensstar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
No child was ever killed by a poisoned Halloween treat
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Medieval Scottish Man Who Died 600 Years Ago Was Short and Balding, with Bad Teeth and Back Problems. The more things change, something, something
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
The U.S. Navy's "doomsday" plane met its doom. Fark: At the hands of a bird
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Video shows crash saving couple, baby in crosswalk. And you thought Fast and the Furious was unrealistic
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this job interview
source: recruiterbox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Inmate has surgery to "remove smuggled item from his body." With "Total Recall" X-rays
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
And now the new craze that's sweeping the nation: Blasting geese with lasers
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Do you want tribbles? Because this is how you get tribbles
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Two men arrested for abuse of a corpse in Tennessee look like a failed country music duo
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree has been chosen
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Boba Fett action figure capable of firing life size suppository potentially worth quarter million at auction. Would've been waaaayyy more if NXIVM hadn't folded
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Edward Snowden reveals everything that was found in his trove of documents about Area 51, chemtrails, climate change hoax, and the moon landing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
🎵Do you want to fark a snowmaaaaaaaaan? 🎵 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The second largest treehouse in the world has moved up a spot
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this prepared parent
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Woman threatens to rape and murder officers who arrested her after DUI crash, attempts to use laser eye beam in mug shot
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
In which other field could an out-of-work dominatrix use her unique skill set?
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you guessed pharmaceutical companies will pay mere pennies on the dollar in an opioid settlement, come and claim your prize, Mr. Obvious
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
As a cop, any conversation with your boss that begins with, "Why did you light the suspect on fire?" Is not going to end well
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greeley Tribune)
 
 
 
Florida Man, look out. Greeley Man is nipping at your heels
source: greeleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
College graduate, 24, filmed twerking and grinding up against arresting officer. Freak the Police
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You gotta have hobbies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Old tech: using a CB radio and police scanners to find the speed traps. New tech: using new Google maps feature to find where police are set up. Predictably, police are not happy about this new locate a cop feature in Google maps
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
↙ Free Deer
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 755: "Wallpaper This 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 23, 2019
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Darwin may have the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota but the next town over has meth, firearms, a functioning cannon, and a couple of great mugshots
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Wheels come off for judicial system as Michigan court rules that tire rotation service does not include tightening lug nuts
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
These kids today -- saving a man's life when he has a heart attack in the park
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Rutgers University students make pilgrimage to dead dining hall lobster in a tree on campus. And I thought Jameis Winston went to Florida State
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
Surgeon develops new procedure for patients who have breast cancer. One step surgery for mastectomy and reconstruction, results are said to be amazing. Hero and Boobies tag duked it out over this one
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What do you want to do now that you've got measles? Answer: "I'm going to Disneyland"
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pregnant plankton
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thanks to global warming Russia just got a little bit bigger
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Bird experts solve mystery of uninhabited Cornish island covered with rubber bands. The birds are preparing an attack on the UK mainland as soon as they can locate a paperclip factory to loot
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"It was really beautifully presented and you just didn't think about the fact you were eating your own placenta"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse for Brits, HOAs are starting to appear there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
PSA: Cars still can't fly
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FStoppers)
 
 
 
Iranian modesty laws result in some really low grade Photoshop work being done on Western music album covers
source: fstoppers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 42 B.C., Brutus took his own life after defeat in battle, having failed in his bid to restore the Roman Republic by juicing Julius
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman whips step-son with a belt for being out 30 minutes past his midnight curfew. Fark: Step-son is 26 years old. Ok, who isn't here today?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Japanese hotel chain says hackers may have watched guests through bedside dino-bots
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
FTC files case against Stalker App. Gimp apps still available (Creepy tag lurking but Florida Tag wins of course)
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bubble blower
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
'A man and woman tied up their roommate, put him in a closet, and then turned on a vacuum to conceal his screaming.' Meth, not even once
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Truck in Essex that came from Bulgaria and possibly entered the UK via Ireland found to contain 39 dead bodies, along with simultaneous orgasms for Boris, Nigel, and Jacob
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bendy woman shows man her unsharp limbs in club by dislocating them, scares the weebjeebies out of him (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
If you plan to rob a bank, go to the bank, not Bob Evans
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lapham's Quarterly)
 
 
 
Bach: genius composer, party animal. He once billed his church for eight gallons of beer during a two-week road trip, pulled a knife on a guy during a street fight, and as for the ladies? Let's just say he allowed them all to play with his organ
source: laphamsquarterly.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man busted for having sex with stuffed toys on floor of Target store. Victims included Olaf from Frozen
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Would you eat $50 chicken nuggets grown in a lab? Chances are you probably would if you already eat chicken nuggets in the first place
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Even for Philadelphia, taking eight months to come up with the perfect design for a cheesesteak mascot seems like overkill
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Placebo effect works. Subby prefers funkentelechy
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Robber: Give me all your money. Clerk: Sure. Just wait right here while I go outside and get it
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Allerton Oak crowned England's tree of the year. The Larch demands a recount. The Larch
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Two weeks after the debacle of intentionally cutting the power to over a million households in California, PG&E says hey that was fun lets do it again this week
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Man posts sign in office window: 'PLEASE SEND BEER TO SAM ON FLOOR 3. THANK YOU', is now up to 85 beers
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
New Fark and Schnitt Podcast: Strippers just aren't into you, (79 year old) man. Also, it's the end of an era for a truck-eating bridge, and Jesus saves - literally. Bonus: Drew admits he's never seen The Godfather
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Georgia police stop kids from trick-or-treating at the houses with the best candy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
NOPE: Scariest haunted house in U.S. requires 40-page waiver, doctor's note and safe word
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Russian fighter wasn't strong to the finish because he didn't eat his spinach (with freakish pic)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
On balance, probably better to hand over the pic-a-nic basket straight away (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Purloined art, musical acts, and weird processed food flavors are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Oct. 13-19: Cheap Booze Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Utility company advises homecoming partiers to not to swing on electrical utility lines
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Because who WOULDN'T want a car horn that sounds like Godzilla?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
School bus full of kids crashes into pawn shop. Shop offers only $10 for bus including kids
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Subby already feeling better mentally after viewing Aussie student vets stripping off for a naked charity calendar supporting better mental health among the population of us hound dogs (NSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tape operator
source: propology.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Hang 16! Your dog wants the surfer lifestyle just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Badass of the year is stabbed in the stomach. He then removes the knife from his stomach and stabs his attacker. Yes this was in Australia. No he is not Crocodile Dundee. Or Chuck Norris
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Feds: Fentanyl is now being disguised to look like the safest substance on Earth
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Mormon missionary girl quits church to devote herself full-time to missionary work and a variety of other positions (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Texas has a new contestant entered in the "Karen" category: "Swing Set Susan"
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man accused stealing beer from the same convenience store seventeen times in eight days. Let's invite him to the next Fark Party
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
You wanted to watch "Black Mirror" with your friends at college, but Life360 told your mom and she revoked your TV privileges
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asheville Citizen-Times)
 
 
 
I'm tired of these motherfarking snakes in this motherfarking library
source: citizen-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Economists have applied complex mathical equations to determine who gives the best tips on Uber. Answer: Not you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSET)
 
 
 
Trick or Treating this year? Better lawyer up just in case
source: wset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Dude, go straight out and buy a lottery ticket
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Officer: Why are your two children not in car seats? Mother: I can't afford any. Officer: Ok, its a warning this time, and I am buying you two carseats so this doesn't happen again
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Massachusetts to jail Jesse Pinkman for life
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 22, 2019
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Woman gets 50 years for fatal DUI crash. Subby wants to know how she got a Kia to 120mph
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Farkers assemble!
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
His plan had one slight flaw: his wife's looks
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
CT Scan employee charged with scanning people using hospital restrooms
source: wflafm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The good news: Something in the US is finally on the rise for the first time in over a decade thanks to Trump and his administration. The bad news: It's air pollution
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
This five finger discount could grow into something bigger
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Story of the Red Summer of 1919. 100 years later, today is a good day to learn this part of history which was not taught in subby's school
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Those poor Keebler elves
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Study suggests that alien probes are too tiny for astronomers to spot. Well that's because they're in people's butts
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Did Skynet go live while I wasn't paying attention? Police in Michigan are searching for a car that shot a house
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Photographer helping look for lost six year old in Minnesota uses his thermal camera on a drone to speed things up to great effect
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Boobies
 
It may be a camera obscura, but it can detect cancer
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Satanic Temple to fight U.S. Naval Academy if not allowed to perform Satanic Services on academy grounds. Also requests John Paul Jones play "Black Dog" after every sermon
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Revenge is a dish best served in the danger zone
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Former 'Strippergate' suspect involved in tit-for-tat campaign finance complaints, and you've already gone ahead and clicked the link and were disappointed
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Can we reopen the 2017 competition for Mom of the Year?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cart man
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
What do Danes do when erosion threatens to topple a 120 year old, 720 ton lighthouse? Put it on roller skates, and move it further inland. Pics, video in TFA
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
UN warned about putting killer robots in charge of life and death because it 'can never be undone'. Subby, being from the future can verify this as he has been on the run for quite a while (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Nutella, Robocop, and 33 other perfectly normal baby names that were outlawed around the world
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look out Centralia, there'a new kid on the block
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Reporter acts like an idiot damaging antique cars on live TV, wins appropriate prize
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's a Southern Thing)
 
 
 
Houma Louisiana's seventh annual Rougarou Festival will feature a Halloween parade, pumpkin lighting ceremony, live music, arts and crafts, eating contests, kids games, and the annual pardoning of a giant rat from getting cooked in the chili
source: southernthing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
We're going to land a human on Mars by 2035. NASA said so, so yeah, go ahead and mark that right on your calendar
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Four simple words. Four simple words that SHOULD NOT GO TOGETHER. Sexy. Taxidermied. Rat. Underwear
source: dangerousminds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
There's no problem too big or too small that can't be solved with 10 gallons of gasoline and a lighter
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Mat Staver, the head of an anti-LGBTQ hate-group, was invited to ring the Stock Market Bell
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
In the last three years, a series of mysterious land deals has given control of a mid-sized city's downtown to the Church of Scientology
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gold stash
source: nowtheendbegins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Social media may explain increase in tornadoes, meteorologist says, before going on to explain how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Gay teen escapes toxic home and conversion therapy through education, founds LGBT scholarship to help others, and in the process proves that against all odds, good things can come out of Florida
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Dubliner just can't shake the seven stone bathtub named Sheila off his back or his mind when it comes to charity work. First he climbed Kilimanjaro, now he's dragged it across the vast Uyuni desert in Bolivia
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Triple sec, cola, sour mix: Long Island Ice Tea. Triple sec, cola, yellow death: $90,000 fine and your bar shut down for three months
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"I thought to myself, 'Well, those people are smoking, they already don't care about their lives,' so I ran at them with the bees ... then I got down and army-crawled into the juice bar next door and just watched as chaos ensued"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, on the bright side, the cockroaches are certainly dead, and your lawn will regrow someday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Mayor of Jamaica will serve no prison time for growing pot, which is very on-brand even for Jamaica, Iowa
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Remember that scene from ET where both Elliot and ET get drunk? Elliot decided to re-enact it last night in Oregon (with mugshot)
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Fifteen-year-old says she and her boyfriend got ringing in their ears while inside an Uber due to the driver's gun going off. Also she was shot in the foot
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bring your gun to school event currently underway in California. SWAT team arrives for show-n-tell. With helpful 80ish-word article including almost no details
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Metal shop catches fire. On the one hand, it's surprising because metal doesn't burn, but on the other hand, that's the most metal thing ever
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China opens Panda Cafe where you can pet panda cubs while you eat. Note: The "pandas" are just as genuine as that Sorny TV you ordered from China
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Video identifies jogger that stopped to poop outside near a school. No, not that other one. This is number two (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
School bus driver takes busload of kids on an unplanned field trip into local pawn shop
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some New Wave Guy)
 
 
 
Long time Farker has a radio show diving into the historical vaults of alt, indie, goth, post-punk, shoegaze, etc, plus new cuts from the genres. Tune in to hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like. Starts at 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming links
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Pretty sure 'rats driving miniature cars' is one of the signs of the apocalypse (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
There's gold in them there pants my boy and we are going to claim it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1934, the FBI killed fugitive "Pretty Boy" Floyd. Accomplices Fabulous Boy, Mediocre Boy, and Good God That Guy's Ugly Boy to remain at large for some time
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
World War 3 predictions are in, USA looking safe for the silver medal (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Man blowing up pumpkins with fireworks starts large fire. Burned out neighbors hire Linus to exact revenge
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
It's 2019, and where are our flying cars? Oh, wait, being test driven in Singapore
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Protip: if you are murdering someone, do NOT record it on video. Also, do not save it to a digital memory card. If you do, do NOT lose the card. Finally, do NOT label the card "Homicide at Midtown Marriott"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hu subcontracted the hit, It went to that guy, Naturally. Naturally, he subcontracted it to Someone who gave it to I Don't Know. They were all arrested, I Don't Give A Damn, and now I don't have a baseball team
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Mother films "ghost baby" sleeping with infant son in crib. Father: "Um, I forgot to put the mattress protector on when I changed the sheets. Sorry for any confusion" (with pics)
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Quarrel over "uncontrollable bowel movements" leaves woman down in the dumps, according to police logs
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You can't use a fake million dollar bill to buy an iPhone. It is not real currency
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Big Texan
source: travelwithbubba.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"This is your pilot speaking: Which one of you pranksters snuck a life-sized stiffy of Sir Cliff Richard on board? You've just closed down the whole airport" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Subby's nomination for Mugshot of the Week goes to this guy, who looks like he could also act as a zombie in a Halloween attraction
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman returns library book 74 years after it was checked out, and somewhat suspiciously only a year after the library stopped issuing late fees for books
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Black security guard for a school who was fired for saying "don't call me (the N word)" has been reinstated
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Tourists to be allowed and encouraged to visit war-torn Kazmir. "Kazmir: You might not be shot™ "
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
New NYC subway cops won't be required to wear body cameras because l'etat, c'est Cuomo
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Well, DUUUUH
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Rest In Fleece
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The beautiful part is when winter rolls around the monkeys simply freeze to death (warning: not safe for rats or their fans)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tru-deux
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
"Heard some cracking, lots of screams". School of Mines student recalls parade float disaster, which is ironic because if it had been The School of Mimes you would have heard nothing at all
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dozens left fourth-homeless after fire in LA
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 21, 2019
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
You get the meth lab and I'll get grandma is a great plan if you're not both on meth
source: realtalk910.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Google's unionization will be led by the Swiss, historically neutral, but powerful
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The latest thing banned in China? Pewdiepie. Well, China may be right this time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hey Brits, I don't think you're ready for this jelly (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Black Star)
 
 
 
For realistic Halloween makeup, try the Drama department at Phillips Academy in Birmingham, Alabama, if they haven't been shut down
source: atlantablackstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
This car stabbed some people and stole some tires. Lightning McQueen sought for questioning
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
American Airlines flight from London to Philly makes emergency landing in Dublin after three onboard made ill by chemical spillage in galley, more commonly known as lunch
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FStoppers)
 
 
 
Idiot climbs onto ship's railing to get a super selfie and lifetime ban from the cruise line
source: fstoppers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some People)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bouncers
source: assets.simpleviewinc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Here's what science says to do for opioid addiction. Hint: it's not the 12 steps that AA hasn't revised for 100 years
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
I have so many songs whose titles begin with "L" I had to make two shows out of them. Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) Part 2. Then set your clocks back 62 years and a day for the final Stan Freberg radio show
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump declines to participate in Chinese hoax
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some people just like to twerk while the world burns
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Four killed in riot over offensive Facebook post. And no, your crazy Uncle was not involved
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Ever tried Founder's beer? Turns out that their Detroit manager is color blind
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Christian writer proves God has a plan for everyone because he gave her winning lottery numbers, even though she didn't play them...or something
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
42-year-old missing after walking into the woods to find meaning of life
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBY San Luis Obispo)
 
 
 
Fecal Transplant Super Donor is a real thing and the name of Subby's new crappy music cover band
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Christian hip hop artist goes to see 'Addams Family' movie, walks out of theater because movie was A: Just terrible? B: Filled with loud and noisy kids? or C: Too demonic?
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
With the movie "Midway" coming out soon, here's a sobering look at the real thing
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Jesus saves Jesus Saves runner
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
A BASE jumper called police on himself after jumping from a 300-foot cell tower in Wisconsin ... and was left dangling 50 feet of the ground
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Four dogs, two cats, a dozen rabbits, almost a hundred mice, a Gecko, fourteen birds, ten sugar gliders, and a hedgehog. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty deplorable time in a house in Florida with all that
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop the eastern screech owl
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Suddenly, tenant
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Florida Woman kills it on third try
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
West Point cadet AWOL with M4 rifle. Looks like it's going to be one of those days in America that ends in 'y'
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Car crashes into fire hydrant, sending water spraying into power lines and collapsing a shoe store, in accident which only proves how easily a Shoe Event Horizon can come to pass
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Off With Their Heads achieves something worse
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Final Destination 2 - Now based on a true story
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This game of toddlers jumping off balconies to land perfectly inside a rickshaw is going to end badly, but this kid sticks the landing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Artificial Intelligence to take control of US battle tanks, also wants your clothes, boots and your motorcycle (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The War On Halloween continues
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Judge rules prosecutors can't show 'Godfather' clip at Roger Stone's trial. No word if prosecutors will make him an offer he can't refuse
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Royal side piece gets sidelined
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Suddenly, tree
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
It's like texts from your girlfriend on your wedding day (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
2018 Accounting firm training seminar: "Women's brains absorb information like pancakes soak up syrup so they can't focus. Men's brains are more like waffles. They're better able to focus because the information collects in each little waffle square"
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Drunken Florida man riding Segway tells cops he drank nearly two bottles of wine, deputies say
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1805, Admiral Lord Nelson defeated a combined French and Spanish fleet at the Battle of Trafalgar, ensuring Britain would only ever see Napoleon as a type of ice cream
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
THIS JUST IN: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dea-.... No, wait. He's up again
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Let's Flay Grandpa (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
If bac = 0, disablecar();
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pointer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Drunk dirty duo captured romping like sordid rabbits on in empty carriage on late-night train. Eye bleach needed as this happened in the UK
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Not news: Man doesn't want to pay child support because DNA test proves the child isn't his. News: Woman doesn't want to claim child support because the child isn't his. Fark: The Florida tag may be a giveaway
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Good guy with gun prevails
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Truth behind conversion therapy: Counselor: "You're going to hell if you don't stop being that way." Victim: "Long as you're not there"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKOW Madison)
 
 
 
Hey man, whatcha wanna do Saturday? Dunno, but it should be epic
source: wkow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Customers tied up and robbed at Bob's Burgers. Jimmy Pesto wanted for questioning
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Looks like we all don't float down there after all
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
95% of landfills contaminated with lead, mercury, cadmium, and arsenic. Did I say landfills? Sorry, I meant baby food
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman breaks into a home, and ..... gives the homeowner's two-year old a bath. Well that sounds nice of her
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The infamous 11'8" grows up
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Turkey to U.S. in two weeks: all your bomb are belong to us
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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