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Sun October 20, 2019
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
It's wise to keep a low profile if you're trafficking in large quantities of meth, as this man's mugshots amply attest
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turns out not all delivery guys are douche bags
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Tupac Shakur alive and under arrest in Tennessee (with confusing mugshot)
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Last week: "The hotel we're building just partially collapsed, and there are two cranes about to crash onto the street so I guess we need to blow them up." Today: "A crane we tried to blow up is now impaled in the road, I'm out of ideas. Anyone got one?"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rising walkway
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Allied bombing raids on Northern Italy more effective than originally thought
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these high-flying ballerinas
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Suddenly, there was not an emu
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Teen Vogue)
 
 
 
Hope for the hopeless
source: teenvogue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you really hate yourself, try flying on the world's longest nonstop flight: 19 hours and 16 minutes from NY to Sydney
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Darwin misses another one, gets consolation from Mr. Snow Miser
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two brothers say they're sure they witnessed two UFOs 'battle' in the skies above the Australian Outback before one made an 'emergency landing' and crashed into a tree
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Yo, California is still on fire
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Seriously ... have these people NEVER seen a movie in their entire lives? WE KNOW HOW THIS ALL ENDS ... AND IT'S NOT PRETTY
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Police officer sees kids loitering first thing in the morning and does the only logical thing to remedy the situation
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Injured and filing a lawsuit in the Hard Rock Hotel collapse? OK, that will be a deporting
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this... um... sky bubble?
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The dream that came true
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
What telephones looked like the decade that you were born. For subby it's some animal blood smeared on a cave wall to depict a woolly mammoth hunt
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
It used to be, "There's a Hallmark card for everything." Then it was, "There's porn for everything." Now, well, there's a Twitter account for everything
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Get off my playground
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wifi? Food Trucks?? That's not camping. Why not just pave all the national parks over if that is what we are going to bring in
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Jump on the freeway just to realize it's closed ahead? How about just turn around and make that on-ramp an off-ramp
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lost Coast Outpost)
 
 
 
Weed farmers asking Sheriff's office for help in stopping alarmingly frequent armed ripoffs? It's more likely than you think
source: lostcoastoutpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man dies after fifty food rop at started rock
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman shoplifts Juul vape kit from gas station, has enough money to make her getaway using both Uber and Lyft
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
WHAT'S IN THE BOX? a) covalent bonds b) ionic bonds c) metallic bonds
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Washington DC may legalize prostitution for everyone, not just elected officials and lobbyists
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 19, 2019
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Magic box you blow into that sends you to prison for drinking. New hotness: Magic box you blow into that sends you to prison for smoking weed
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Massive crackdown on overtime padding nabs cop who put in for an extra 17 hours...over three years
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Boobies
 
White people will Pumpkin Spice up anything (NSFW)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Beatles were right, sometimes all you really need is love
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
New Jersey school to ban students with lunch debt from field trips and prom. How bout them apples?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Flying Dutchman docks in Philadelphia. Marie Celeste and Flight 19 both inbound. Dr. Benton Quest investigating. Scooby and meddling kids on standby
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cylindrical stone sink
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Attention morons: Hemp isn't pot. That is all
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Residents of San Francisco are beginning to realize that it's too damned expensive to be a resident of San Francisco
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Martial Law declared after things got too hot in Chile
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lumberjacks
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Car falls three stories, a tree helped break the fall
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Princely Whales found dead in the Thames. Trump to tweet condolences shortly
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Hey California, you know that ridiculous intentional massive power blackout you just had? Get ready for at least 10 more years of those
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Parents relish their son's school ID photo while he's on a roll
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Things you can build yourself: a bench or a new deck. Things you shouldn't build yourself: retaining pool dam next to gold mine
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Catching Europe's most wanted women" - porn or police campaign?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
In order to settle property dispute, local government cuts building into two pieces. No word if King Solomon was on council
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Almost a hurricane will almost hit Alabama, almost
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
The smartest thing to do after shooting an armed robber during a drug deal is tell the police, obviously
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sad sign
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
How a Maine animal shelter is finding work for 'unemployed' felines. Welcome to Caturday
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Subby couldn't improve on this: "A Queensland council will replace a 'strategic bush' outside its arts centre to hide the vulva on a sculpture called Birth of Venus following a complaint." NSFW if ceramic vulva are on the banned list
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Bring your snare drums and cymbals for the gawd-awful Halloween puns in this story. Oh yes, some people had their decorations stolen as well
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Man run over by his own four wheeler operated by his dog. Your dog wants driving lessons
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A great new product made for Big Jim and the twins
source: thehooksite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
A concise history of creepy dolls. Chucky and Annabelle approve
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Millennials in Japan aren't having sex. Apparently they spend most of their time lurking on a news aggregate web site
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you have to go to jail, the Dominican Republic seems like not a bad place
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Postmaster making $6,000/mo arrested and fired for stealing $5
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man sues Universal over A) Injury from a ride B) Character gives the "OK" symbol C) Had to wait ten minutes for an unlimited soda
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 18, 2019
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Stupid: Woman driving a stolen car runs out of gas and flags down a police officer. Fark: She almost gets away with it
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Your fail roller has arrived
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Don't touch that Florida puss. It's the worst pain you'll ever know
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jersey Shore Online)
 
 
 
Someone who lived a saint's life and just once wanted to live on the edge stole one lone bottle of ketchup from a NJ restaurant. The guilt set in, then things got weird -- in a good way
source: jerseyshoreonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Unnamed Shiggs wants to be Named Shiggs
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The FBI has concluded that the mysterious deaths of tourists in the Dominican Republic were all from natural causes because they're in on it too
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man ruins someone's Halloween by smashing pumpkins. Billy Corgan sought for questioning
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
World hunger is defeated Aaaand it's turned into a disaster
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dirty Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pin placement
source: ca-times.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Boeing's then-chief technical pilot of the 737 Max warned of egregious handling in simulators. Says he might have (unintentionally) done some light lying to the FAA
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCT Greenville)
 
 
 
Marijuana arrest at Rocky Mountain apartments. Police say suspect couldn't get much higher
source: wnct.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
EMT responding to a crash on the BQE in NYC suffers a stroke, then another EMT responds to the incident and suffers an aneurysm. Both are now safe in a hospital in critical condition. Ta da, thanks to other EMTs
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Suddenly, rats
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
With a possible tropical storm on the way, New Orleans officials decide that the best thing to do with two cranes damaged in the recent building collapse there is to, well, blow them up real good
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
If you have enough money, you can cool an open-air stadium
source: science.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESA Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Doctor Who traded opioids for sex
source: wesa.fm   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Research suggests chocolate chip cookies trigger the same addictive response as cocaine, explaining why those Keebler Elves keep propositioning me with oral sex for just one chip, man, one cookie, come on, I need this
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Norwegians are told to pee in the shower to save water and help the environment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Not The Onion: Local McDonald's replaces PlayPlace with tablet screens
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Nearly 50 pounds of cocaine found in navels
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Researchers say they're one step closer to a universal flu vaccine, and when they get it, they'll deliver it in their flying cars
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high kicker
source: 66.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
One uncritically uninjured in Unalaska unplane uncrash. UPDATE: One undead
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Mexican cops and troops arrest "El Chapo's" son, soon find themselves surrounded by heavily-armed narcos and decide to let him go to "safeguard the well-being and tranquility of Culiacán society." Narcos thank them by going on a rampage in the city
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So just how did the phrase "Gung Ho" come to mean an over-eager individual taking on perhaps a little too much for his ability? NPR asks the question. Subby would have just asked Ron Howard and Michael Keaton
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Dad was five minutes late in picking up his kids ... and it all went downhill from there. Exhibit A: man seen punching woman's car as woman drives it. Exhibit B: picking a fight with a police officer
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman on parole for livestreaming deadly drunken crash arrested again for fleeing police
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Obnoxiously laughing Florida Man arrested at fatal crash called it a "joke," said he'd been "targeted by Gotham's finest" and will no doubt be considered for the villain role in the next Batman movie as "The Dipshiat"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy 81st to Dawn Wells, and congrats on getting off the island
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
How How is is babby babby formed formed?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Man sneaks on yacht at night to steal American flag. Since this is Florida, he did it totally naked
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
You either die a salad, or live long enough to see yourself become a stir-fry (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You know what's scary this Halloween? Plastic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
Boobies
 
Porn stars are fed up with Instagram wrongly taking down their accounts. In other news, Subby just discovered Natalie Porkman, and we're not talking the vegan entree (not safe for work)
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Told you 'Britain's hardest man' was a badass, he lets thugs bloody batter him mercilessly then asks 'Is that it wankers?' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1933, R. Buckminister Fuller applied for a patent for his Dymaxion Car, which could reach 120 mph, get 30 miles per gallon, and fatally collide with cars filled with people wondering what the hell it was
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
With $2 million in bribes Redflex Traffic Systems spawned a billion dollar ticket camera industry in Illinois
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: if an exotic dancer less than half your age wants to move in with you after you retire, it's probably not your stunning good looks she's entranced with
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Johnson & Johnson recalls baby powder for containing too much asbestos, not enough ground up babies
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
To The Stars Academy of Arts & Science (TTSA) announces "exotic material" contract with U.S. Army to work on new technological breakthroughs to benefit ground vehicles. Not saying this 'material' is UFO material, but it might be UFO material
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Subby doesn't just sound fat, he's breathing fat. Fark needs a moobies tag
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Yes .. YES .. YES. What are you 20 strangers looking at? You just gave me the most intense orgasm ever" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Boy dies after excessive huffing of mom's deodorant. Distraught mother says, 'In my day, we just huffed glue.'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
'Charlie Brown' actor speaks after release from prison. Lucy in hiding
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
News: Man arrested for giving a false name to the police. Facepalm: His real name was tattooed on his neck
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
Boobies
 
Women are now legally allowed to go topless in Manhattan, with some restrictions
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
An open letter to Kurdish soldiers from a U.S. Army wife. Subby didn't read it, but assume it says something like: "Dear Kurds, as someone who has also taken it in the ass from the Army, I feel your pain"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
And the Dumbest Goddamned Thing Du Jour award goes to
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Boobies
 
A mural, discovered during renovations of a care home, shows what was on the minds of WW2 soldiers. Boobs and Booze, apparently
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Crossbow, frying pan attack leaves one dead, one injured, one arrested in Kentucky. Did we miss a Fark party?
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
STFU, science
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Young people are having less sex yet STDs continue to rise, with helpful picture of.... uhh
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chair and lamp
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Old: Porch pirates stealing your Amazon packages. Florida: Amazon delivery driver takes the van straight to his apartment and steals your packages
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
For some completely mysterious and unknown reason, New York changes law allowing those who have Presidential pardons to still be prosecuted for crimes. Nope, no idea why they would do such a thing for any potential citizen of New York...you?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
It's official: McDonald's blows
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Wait, wasn't this the plot of a bad "Star Trek" movie?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Rikers to be shut down, presumably due to an abundance of alien STDs
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Avoid the rush and buy property in Duluth Minnesota now
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
"Now performing for his first time at Giggles Comedy Club, General Jim Mattis." "I earned my spurs on the battlefield ... and Donald Trump earned his spurs in a letter from a doctor. *crickets* So I guess I'm the Meryl Streep of generals"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
HIV positive baby rejected by ten potential adoptive parents. But the 11th set of hopefuls, a gay couple, adopted the child and have given it a loving home. Tag is for them adopting the child and treating it with the love and respect it deserves
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
This Saturday, let's once and for all end the tax on tampons. Period
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Bees what? Lyre? Oh, we thought you said "seize wire." No, we're gonna keep shootin'
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Washington State issues over $100,000 in fines to trio responsible for tragic Seattle crane collapse. Lilith, Maris, and Diane deny culpability, plan to appeal
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Man dead after shooting at Family Dollar. Locals call for change
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If a train is traveling at 120kph to Penarth, UK, and a woman sticks her head out of the window, what is the probability she will be killed when hit by a tree branch? Answer: 100 percent
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 17, 2019
(MSN)
 
 
 
I laughed, my son laughed, his college application laughed
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Couple sues Taco bell over being charge $2.18 more than the commercial advertised. Their lawyer is arguing the fine print (Prices may vary) is bait and switch
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"A couple of times we said out loud, 'This is really crazy that we found a body there that no one knew about'"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Coast Guard seizes US$92M of cocaine, brings it to San Diego. In other news, party tonight in San Diego
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
OPERATION METH-O-WEEN: The operation, which aims to clean up criminal activity at a Florida property known for drug activity, resulted in 12 arrests
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man unable to yank snake free, TV reporter lends helping hand
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Woman buys couch from thrift shop, takes it home and accidentally drops her cell phone between the couch cushions. What's something good that could come out of this?
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Today, in advice: if you want to dispose of a dead body on private property, don't ask the Communists for help
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1906, a shoemaker led German soldiers in a robbery by posing as an officer, showing that blind obedience to authority can come at the cost of your sole
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Wall Street rat pack
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Detailed Tasmanian tiger sightings in new Tas government report revives hopes it is not extinct after all. Researchers will now delve into old Looney Tunes reels to see if the species ever hung with the devil
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Math Question: A woman finds her elderly father had been leasing three landline phones since 1984. The monthly bill was $20.75 per month. Should this man have purchased a $5 per month TotalFark membership instead? Yes
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Summer-lovers buying 'flip-flop socks' as winter nears, will soon be looking for prosthetic toes after frostbite sets in
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Good news, beer degenerates: Samuel Adams is releasing a beer so strong that it is illegal in 15 states
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
How does that even work? asking for a friend
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Guests at the Barbie Malibu Dreamhouse Airbnb disappointed it doesn't include a drug-fueled rager with the marketing exec who thought it up
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Love Disney movies? This company will pay you $1,000 to watch 30 of them in 30 days
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Court rules that you can't watch porn in your car while parked in public
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Suddenly, The Shining
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man sets pet lion on electrician who tried to collect pay, police say. Subby can't do better than that headline
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
200 bottles of wine in 2 weeks? Even us alcoholics can call shenanigans on this
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
More proof that "therapists" are nothing but manipulative monsters who prey on the vulnerable, but it's ok, because she's thin and blonde
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant, um bong
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man attempts the timeless "Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?" defense with his eBay police badge and flashing lights
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Monkeys beat humans at video games, call us all n00bz, have a few choice observations to make regarding our mothers (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Great White Sharks have larger sharks, on their backs to bite 'em; and on those sharks ride larger sharks, and so on, ad infinitum
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
U.S. surrenders the Kurds to Turkey, giving them five days to abandon their homes
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man shot, wounded at Santa Monica pier. No word if he was attempting to swim out past the breakers, watch the world die
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 17)
 
 
 
"There were armed security guards with body armor, and even the strippers were packing heat"
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Fife man left horrified after his Jack Russell pulls a 'stick' from a bush. A big black dildo stick the same size as his dog to be exact (not safe for work)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
Man missing for a week was simply taking the scenic route
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Thanks for giving us the money you robbed from a grocery store, do you want it back? If so can you meet us at the police station to make sure it is you? The answer should always be no
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
If a cop turns down your $1000 bribe, you drop the price to $300 and try again. That's the Florida Man way
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Ridiculous couple, obviously 'obsessed with their relationship', mocked for their 'romantic' bedding. Bonus: the rest of the room is just as bad with a huge heart-shaped wall full of selfies
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Have you tried one, two or four?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
You wait for ages for a bus - then two come at once
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Heavy metals found in nearly all tested baby foods, study finds. To be fair, there's nothing more metal than food made out of babies
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
You know how it is, you're in a middle school cafeteria, playing with your gun in its holster, and before you can control it it goes off
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cop suspended and sued for anal cavity search. New hotness: Cop suspended and sued for forcibly baptizing a suspect
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
I see your pumpkin catapults and raise you some apple cannons
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It says in the article caption contest so... have at it
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
"Sir, why are you cutting the fuel line of this school bus?" "I needed gas"
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Family heirloom sculptures stolen from home, and, um, I'm not sure those are noses on their faces
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
News: Suspects arrested in theft of $50,000 ring. Fark: Suspects arrested in $50,000 cheese theft ring
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
The secret ingredient in Domino's Japan's Halloween Roulette Pizza: ghost pepper, which can be sprinkled onto randomly selected slice of any pizza. Adds spice, intrigue, screaming
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
King County sues Juul over vaping epidemic, absence of Dana
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
'After years of planning and work, a first of its kind monument celebrating women in Virginia was unveiled Monday with a typo.'
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Massive yacht surges forward and rolls over seven smaller boats. No word if captain immediately yelled YACHT SEA
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Nor'easter. New hotness: "BOMB CYCLONE"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
This 4-bedroom detached home for sale for $1. Small print: This 4-bedroom detached home not really for sale for $1
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man fatally shot, said to have always filled the room with laughter - except for that one time
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Passionate protesting is one thing, but when you're getting pulled off of trains by people who are just trying to get to work, you've gone past vegan straight to cross-fit annoying
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
What is the "most incarcerated" zip code in the country?
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this personal sub
source: cdn.thisiswhyimbroke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Chicago teachers are going on strike. No word on how this may effect you're childs test score's
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
German car enthusiasts want to roll coal to oppose Greta
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
30 years ago today, Candlestick Park was really rocking for Game 3 of the World Series
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
"I'll shoot you in the farking face": just another encounter between an off-duty cop and an unarmed kid
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida cop shoots and kills 70-year-old retired librarian during a citizens academy class. Three short years later, a surprise sentence
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Elijah Cummings, RIP
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A rider on a New Jersey Transit bus needed medical attention after sitting in: A) Human feces B) A bear trap C) Sulfuric acid
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Three Second Amendment supporters go shopping at local Publix, discover open carry only applies to grownups
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Once again, Japan seems to be catering to Farkers
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Not news: man crashes his motorcycle. News: falls over a 47 foot overpass. Holy Fark: he survives
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
It's the same old sad he-said, she-said story, up to the point where one of them used a front-end loader to destroy $2 million worth of furniture in a warehouse. With blurry video goodness
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Suddenly, otters
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
New "so much cocaine" meme blanks now available
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 754: "Our Bodies Ourselves 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 16, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Finally, we have scientific proof that that baby boomers are in fact the WORST generation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
Boobies
 
Conservatives in the UK admit they botched life-changing legislation and roll it back. Not Brexit, silly... something far more important
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Finally the case of the theft of a solid gold toilet from Winston Churchill's birth palace has been solved: Three people have been arrested in connection with it and will be headed to a sh*ttier place with less than lavish lavatories
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The front doors of hotel rooms around the nation to start having that empty feeling. The print edition of USA Today will soon cease to exist
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Royal unit #251 appears to suffer technical issues (7:2.1 - emotional display) during a speech regarding the creation royal unit #276. Luckily Tech Support Roslin was on hand to provide IT support
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Folks)
 
 
 
Photoshop these three bee-list celebrities
source: ribeekeeper.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Divorce attorney says that scoundrels she represents are just human with flaws but also good in them, even the guy who cheated with a prostitute and took out a home equity loan to give her an apartment
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fark Mascot squirrel, meet your new competition Screeching Marmot. includes photos that can be applied to just about everything Fark
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Jury orders "Nobody Died at Sandy Hook" author to pay victim's dad $450,000. Good
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
World's richest woman wants to pay you less than minimum wage to bring her tea. What are you waiting for? Get your Downton on (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Authorities say the suspect believed the roommate acknowledged being a blood-sucking creature.'
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
From the "hard cases make bad law" Dept: Infamous "Beltway Sniper" sidekick Lee Boyd Malvo, who participated in the murder of 17 random people and the wounding of 10 more when he was 17 is challenging his "life without parole" sentence at the SCOTUS
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Finally, something entertaining to do in Indianapolis once your paint is dry
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
His wallet?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Conway man linked to darknet child pornography website, some of the funniest moments in TV history
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Daughter of Irishman who played prank at own funeral opens the coffin again, reveals how her dad came up with the "beyond the grave" gag a year earlier
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this super sales rep
source: s15993.pcdn.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Judge admits to $107 million math error in lawsuit award. Waitresses everywhere hope he calculates tips like that
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pete the fern becomes the first plant in the world to take a selfie
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Nigerian Princes in Spaaaaaace
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This PC culture is so confusing. How are you supposed to know this is wrong?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
He pleaded guilty to cocaine possession and was sentenced to 15 years in prison. It turned out to be powdered milk. The moral? Cops still always have the best sh*t
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man reveals secret to becoming Florida Man
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
Irish prankster gets one last laugh at his funeral. Why you will NOT be pulling $50 THC edibles out of your kids Halloween bags. Plus all about the guy who left bad yelp reviews for local farmers who wouldn't let him hook up with their livestock
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Tamam Shud mystery code man to be exhumed 70 years after he was found dead on Australian beach
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Wonder where she hid it
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Egyptian archaeologists find a sour cough, I guess
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
But what he really wants to do is direct
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newshub NZ)
 
Weeners
 
Person critically injured after being hit in Waikato. Euphemisms these days, right?
source: newshub.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It was just a matter of time before granny pants came back in fashion ...having that expanded sexiness and all. Throw your thongs out the window for the pervs (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
San Francisco bans cars to make room for more tents
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Oakland knows how to party: "attendees were jumping, twirling, and throwing the occasional tantrum in the fenced-off "rolling zone," where fellow partyers lie on their backs, staring at the lights in the dark"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cyprus Mail)
 
 
 
You had one job
source: cyprus-mail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Teen collects hundreds of Barbies with prosthetic legs for kids just like her. Um, aren't ALL Barbie legs prosthetic?
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Child Gambling, a growing problem. What on earth are casinos requesting as stakes now?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
Acid trip, multiorgasmic, yeast infection: Find words first used in print the year you were born, yuppie
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Vatican launches $110 "click to pray" wearable rosary and app to teach young people about Catholicism
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The new trend in travel? "Microhotels," where guests cheerfully help maximize corporate profits by celebrating how awesome it is to pay for a 150-square foot room with really cool folding furniture
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man walks straight out of San Francisco gallery with $20k Dali painting in what can only be described as a surreal steal
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
"Wisconsin police department stumbles upon 'grisly' scene of half-eaten donuts"
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Woman ensures ex-boyfriend can only count to 9 1/2 and promptly gives her Facebook followers the finger. #JustTheTip
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
"Sheehy told investigators he had seen someone do the same thing in a pornographic film, and believed his actions would arouse the woman"
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
The top 34 bestselling 'fruit' drinks for kids are deemed unhealthy. Fark: Two thirds of them contained no fruit juice
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man caught wearing only women's lingerie during home break-in. With "sort of want" mugshot
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Man disarms robber, then runs a marathon. No one pulls on his cape
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Honestly, who thought a "Send Nudes" advertising campaign was a good idea? (NSFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat Kraft cheese)
 
 
 
"The device left a large hole in the side of Tommy Woosley's mobile home and destroyed his shower"
source: wymt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
It's going to be a great story when an actual quote is "She jumped on her like a spider monkey"
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
14-year-old student tackled by classmates after bringing gun to school. Classmates immediately offered contracts by Dolphins, Bengals
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania farm to supply White House Christmas tree. No word if it will be dipped in gold leaf or animal blood
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
This wonderful sanctuary in Kansas provides shelter dogs in their golden years a place to live out their days in a homelike setting. Please welcome them this Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
You lose you wallet, your credit's suddenly ruined, your bank account is drained ---- unless this guy finds it. He'll pay you 4p and send you funny memos
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Jason Van Dyke, The Chicago police officer who was convicted of murdering Laquan McDonald, has resigned from the Chicago police department because his conviction cost him the certification required to be an officer, not because he murdered someone
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10daily)
 
 
 
Here's a second date rejection letter for all you Farkers who don't want to feel awkward
source: 10daily.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
College professor sold ancient, stolen Bible artifacts to Hobby Lobby. I hate this new Indiana Jones reboot
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
R.I.P., student loans
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"Point that thing somewhere else"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Texas man who said cops wouldn't find him is found in first place they looked
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
It's kind of like the "Leave a penny, take a penny" thing that some stores do, but with babies
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coppers to bust copper bust busters
source: nationalparkstraveler.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
It turns out that the explosive report on an explosive exploding at school didn't explode and wasn't an explosive
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 15, 2019
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Putting toothpaste in your vagina pros: You'll never have to worry about vaginal tooth decay. Cons: Abraded tissue, various nasty infections
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That British family that accidentally crossed into the US, were arrested by ICE, and sent to a detention facility? Yeah, they'd been previously rejected for travel authorization, Canada won't take them back, and there are tapes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Surprise, Trump is selling Alaska
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nailed it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Domestic disturbance at Walmart upgrades to police chase, crash
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Birmingham Mail)
 
 
 
Leave Nando's. Think you're Jesus. Find out you're not
source: birminghammail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Brazilian seven-story building collapses. Top seven floors superfluous
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It's almost like there's a REASON "used car dealer" is a synonym for "untrustworthy scumbag" in popular culture
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man arrested *twice* while LARPing GTA V. Not known how many RP earned
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good news if you left your chainsaw or karaoke machine on the Long Island Railroad
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Offer not valid in Denver or Oakland
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Day of the Dead celebrant
source: d.newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Doctor says he goosed nurse at work because he was high on dog medicine. Which makes it all OK (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Weeners
 
Ah, Sunday mornings. Relaxation, hot coffee, TV news shows, the booming music coming from an Amazon delivery truck whose driver is taking a leak on a bush in front of your house
source: outline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Protip: If you want to continue working as a civil rights employee, it's important not to say that you hate black people
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Current)
 
 
 
More shenanigans from the Texas police, as San Antonio agrees to pay $205k to a woman that received an "illegal vaginal cavity search" on a city street "in view of several people as well as those passing by"
source: sacurrent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man loves what he does. His victims, not so much
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
House on the property of John Wayne Gacy where 33 boys, men were murdered goes on sale for $459k. The 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom house is in the Chicago suburbs and features plenty of storage space
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Man charged with hitting his wife's head with a rock claims other men want to buy his rock
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Your kids are laughing at your feeble attempts to control their online access using Apple Screentime
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you want everyone to stop bugging you, drink striped milk (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you ever feel dumb, consider that people invested a total of more than $4 billion in a crypto-currency scheme based out of Bulgaria and Belize where you had to pay a fee to "mine" the coins and they could only be sold to other fee-paying members
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seat in the sky
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Ma'am, this is an Arby's
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"I thought: 'Why not start something with a few friends, have a bit of a laugh?'" With that, the Dorking Wanderers were born
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey baby, let's go shave together
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When you're 24, "of no fixed abode," have a child, and 70 previous convictions, stealing a 7 ton milk truck and going on a rampage just comes naturally. Why yes, he did "self medicate"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
You only moved the headstones WHY?
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pootin' in front of Putin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Reasons for asking judge for a deadline extension: a) relative of the defendant died, b) you're the President attempting to stave off the inevitable, c) your nine-year old son is a huge Washington Nationals fan
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Oklahoma superintendent, former teacher arrested in prostitution crime ring bust. Wow, how little do they pay teachers in Oklahoma?
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Trouble over Bridgewater has Somerset town buzzing (possibly NSFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Identity of Florida Man finally revealed and it's...SAMUEL L JACKSON?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
"Oh how cute, the neighbors have set up their Halloween decorations. Let's see what they've don...AVERT YOUR EYES MYRTLE"
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
As long as you live in my dank cave, you'll find something better to do than toss around bone dice with all the other little proto-hominids all day long. Your cousins have already learned to walk upright. What are you waiting for, an alien monolith?
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Russia's Lenin Museum still runs on decades-old Apple II computers. Parts of the Pentagon and NASA remain patiently jealous
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
When crypto is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir pelcgb
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Long time Farker has a radio show diving into the historical vaults of alt, indie, goth, shoegaze, etc, plus new gems from the genres. Tune in to hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like. Starts at 10 AM PT/1 PM ET, LGT streaming links at station
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Dutch family emerge after spending nine years in a basement. Take one look at the world, immediately head back in
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Who knew that the guy with the knife tattooed over his eye would go on to threaten people with a knife?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMPH San Joaquin Valley)
 
 
 
Teen's mom: "Your baby has died." Thirty years later: "Um yeah, about that"
source: kmph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Chances are, your photo is in a police lineup right now thanks to surveillance technology and facial recognition
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
NATO General Secretary and former Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg expects Turkey to "act with restraint", also lets it slip that Norway has trolls. Finn Haugen unavailable for comment
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Felony plea for naked woman who sat on man's face and demanded, um, oral favors
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
Nick Offerman is getting his own single-malt and The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness has a new apex
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
United: I'm sorry Ms. Black Woman, but you're wearing a "Black Panther" hat and some of our passengers find that threatening. Please leave. Same United: Wait, you're threatened by a white man wearing a "Rope. Tree. Journalist." shirt? Grow up, snowflake
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
It's that time of the season for the super rats to invade the UK again, you Brits need to be ready for the huge 20-inchers that come after your childrens
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Americans fear clowns more than death. Because clowns will eat you, slowly and painfully, forever
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman claims she's a prisoner in her own bedroom because she can't leave it. Otherwise she'll hear the terrifying sounds of her neighbor's wind chimes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
'90s bands that are *still* around, expensive seafood, and video game companies are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Oct. 6-12: Well That's Convenient Edition
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Cigar-shaped object hovering over Baltimore most likely waiting for the big guy to throw a bolt of lightning for a light, not spying on earthlings (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
FBI photographer suspiciously drowns in a creek while husband is at park bathroom. Developing story
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(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this model man. Difficulty no Jar-Jar
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Vacationing British family accidentally drove into the U.S. They were promptly turned around after some laughs and continued their adventure. We'd like you to believe that and wish it were true instead of saying ICE tossed them in a concentration camp
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
⠠⠞⠓⠑⠗⠑⠄⠎ ⠼⠁ ⠝⠁⠞⠊⠕⠝⠁⠇ ⠎⠓⠕⠗⠞⠁⠛⠑ ⠕⠋ ⠠⠃⠗⠁⠊⠇⠇⠑ ⠞⠑⠁⠉⠓⠑⠗⠎
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
More than two dozen cats dumped in the woods will soon breed an army to hunt down the human who did this to them
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Family's basement floods with nearly five inches of animal blood, fat and bones thanks to meat locker next door
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The Oxford dictionary has released its list of new words to be added. In an homage to the political climate of the past 2 years, Omnishambles is a welcome addition
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Hey there officer. Just killed four people. Got one of the bodies in my car. Got a spare cell bunk? I'm a little tired"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here is probably the worst hairdo you will see in a mugshot today
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Woman who smuggled four kilograms of pork into Australia in her suitcase given the boot
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
I've slept next to the railroad tracks and it didn't cost me 20 bucks a night
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago ends its scooter program after 800,000 rides and multiple trips to the Emergency Room
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Domestic violence, headbutting a car window, fleeing from police, jumping in a bayou, and drowning is no way to go through life, son
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 14, 2019
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
I'm in ur outback eatin ur r00s
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
University of Washington study breaks down the science of why we g-- eh, forget this headline
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
SO COOL. A Florida dad and his two sons crafted an impressive replica of Castle Byers from Stranger Things for spooky season. 🎃👻
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
So you're saying more than half of all American families don't have a drunk uncle or a methed up cousin or an oxymoron of any age or gender? Yeah I'm going to have to see your math on that or else the call is shenanigans
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Tech YouTuber asks the internet to decorate his home with predictable results
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Fort Worth officer charged with murder of Atatiana Jefferson
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The pain from lack of planes will be mainly felt in Spain
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Apparently sensing a drop-off in Florida Man related vehicular tragedies, some Florida counties are giving drivers with suspended licenses a chance to get them back
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive peeper
source: images.squarespace-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Rare white killer whale spotted in Puget Sound. Fine, fine already, you can call me Ishmael if you have to
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Music returns to Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT). Picking up where I left off, songs whose titles begin with the letter "L". After the music, the 14th episode of the Stan Freberg Show. TuneIn link works. Live365 stream link in text
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Who says Hoosiers don't know how to party. Drinking, fighting, and shooting. Difficulty: state judges
source: amp.indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
'STOP CALLING': A Florida man called 911 because his roommate stole $20 worth of his weed. The responding deputy said that "I got to give him a call and tell him to stop calling"
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Now I lay me down to sleep, but first I grab my phone to tweet. A notification makes my iPhone wake, a comment on Fark I must now make
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan motorist clears blockage in traffic
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Angry NYC residents tired of honey beekeeping "hipsters" 'attracting aggressive meat bees that prey upon them and their children
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Federal prison inmates escape and return with whiskey. Anyone know what Drew is in for?
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Helpless locksmiths lock themselves out of shop. Passers-by and social media do NOT let them off the hook, point and laugh at the irony
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
A drug that helps you pee can hurt the way you see. Researchers said to be blindsided, have anxiously crossed legs
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop um, Spider-Man?
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Is the Great Pumpkin going to have to choke a biatch?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
And the most haunted state in the US is...NORTH DAKOTA?
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Florida man is at it again, nine schools and almost $1k
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
California signs bill to end "Lunch shaming." Lunch judging will still be allowed
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
Weeners
 
The Dorset knob festival incorporates a food festival, live music and knob-based games such as knob-and-spoon racing, splat the knob, knob darts and pin the knob on the