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Sun October 13, 2019
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The third rule of Fight Club is that you're not supposed to abuse dementia patients by forcing them to participate in Fight Club
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Before and after photos show what happens when you are addicted to heroin and meth. Clearly you need to pick one and stick to it
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The problem with vacation homes is you never know when someone is going to squat in it and cost you $80,000 in damages
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this kitteh
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
The most dangerous thing you'll ever see
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Someone has flown away with the head of Orville Wright
source: thecoastlandtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Run away
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Police arrest black people for loitering. In front of their own house. Twice. In two days. It's almost like there's some sort of pattern in law enforcement these days
source: kywnewsradio.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this genius and his mini-me
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Job-killing regulations in California eliminate poop scooping and beastmaster jobs. Marc Singer inconsolable
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them shoot now or forever hold their piece
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
She wore a teeny weeny itsy bitsy minimalist string bikini, that's what she wore to the water today. She wore a teeny weeny itsy bitsy minimalist string bikini, so a fine she had to pay
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Is the clock even working anymore?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Rhode Island DMV wants to charge some motorists a $15 fee for walking in the door because fark you for making us do our job, that's why
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Would you walk three hundred miles, and would you walk fifty miles more? To meet an underage girl and get arrested at her door?
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this totally hip record player console
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Standing around in your own home, while black, with the front door open? Oh, you better believe that's a summary executin'
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
In this week's Fark and Schnitt Podcast, open bar, open flame, drinking and fire (pic in comments)
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Subby can't improve on "Italian motorists used frozen wild boar to fake accidents"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ship coming out
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
That time your second grade teacher was so drunk on vodak she passed out in class
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Georgia student pleads guilty to running a Ponzi scheme from his dorm room, is immediately offered a job with Goldman Sachs
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
How many troopers does it take to remove a cellphone from a 16-year-old girl? TFA doesn't say, but it seems to be a daunting task, from the rest
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Insurance companies to start charging an idiot tax for people who think that marinading their lungs is a better alternative to having a lung BBQ. No word yet on boiled, broiled, fried or braised lungs
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mary Hartman Mary Hartman likes to sneak past TSA agents
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Son, when I told you to put yourself out there, that's not what I meant
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Couple buys land for dream home and realize no matter how much they fix it up, the place will still be a total dump
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 12, 2019
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Admiral Ackbar's parking space
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
A 14-year-old fox terrier reunites with owner after being found 1,000 miles away. Only took 12 years. Disney trying desperately to secure the movie rights
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mom who is a horror fan does a photo shoot of her kids as Zombies and of course people have a problem with it because no one is allowed to do anything fun anymore
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop what these boys are looking at
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
I'm here for the Regina Gang Bang
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Four dead in shooting at illegal gambling club in Brooklyn. Teddy KGB seen nearby eating Oreo cookies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Caltrans urges people to "avoid the entire San Fernando Valley" in wake of brush fires. What the Westside snobs have been saying for years
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Then there was that week I spent living in a climate dystopia, like something out of a late-'90s volcano disaster movie
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this concept
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Finally, scientific proof that I shouldn't rake the leaves this fall. See, honey? It's not laziness, it's ecology
source: blog.nwf.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Typhoon makes landfall in Tokyo just as an earthquake strikes and tornado flips over a car. This is not the opening scene to a disaster film
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The biggest myths about sleeping have been debunked and discarded, like the amount of spiders who make themselves at home in your mouth every night to just chill and explore
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
Come for the building collapse. Stay for the guy in the orange sweatshirt and the brown pants winning the 200m. UPDATE: Two persons dead, one person missing, 19+ injured
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Someone is not McLovin it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth to 13 pound baby. This obesity epidemic is out of control
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Passenger who was arrested at Glasgow Airport is NOT the French aristocrat suspected of murdering his family before going on the run in 2011 amid claims in France he had remarried in Scotland after having plastic surgery. Glad that's cleared up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
San Antonio residents: Oh, there's a plague of locusts. This can't be a good sign
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The American Conservative)
 
 
 
Ho ho ho. The American Conservative tries a ham-handed semi-balanced approach to reporting on Satanic Temple activities at the US Naval Academy. Comments do not cooperate (link fixed so comments under article show up now)
source: theamericanconservative.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Animal Rebellion protesters hold a vigil for dead fish at fish market, blocking ingress. The scales of justice were balanced after police showed up
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember Balloon Boy? Pepperidge Farms remembers
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop these beer glasses
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nixle)
 
 
 
Hey Google, monitor my internet usage and preemptively send local law enforcement a Suspicious Activity Report on me so I can be arrested, please
source: nixle.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cole and Marmalade)
 
 
 
Bear the therapy cat forced to retire after seven years of bringing chemo patients comfort. Well, that sucks on Caturday
source: coleandmarmalade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
It's perfectly normal for a Mercedes to have leather seats, right?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Man attempts to fly experimental aircraft. Since you're reading about it on Fark, you can pretty much guess how it all ended
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Forget The Simpsons, remember that episode of Gilligan's Island, when the castaways had a garden of mutantly large vegetables? This is like that, except maybe the radioactive part. Maybe
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Pilot with family in plane loses throttle control, has to perform no-power landing, grows balls of steel
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Call Newspapers)
 
 
 
Man peddles snow cones to children at school bus stop. Some parents and children have a problem with this. Subby, on the other hand, would love a snow cone
source: callnewspapers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
And I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more just to be the drunk hungover student who walked a thousand miles to pass out at his door DA DA DA da da da DUN DUN DIDDLE DIDDLE AYE YAY
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman mauled by a bobcat was actually mauled by a raccoon, as if that makes it better
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sperm whale washes up on Brit coastal beach, locals fear the carcass will explode sending bits of its carcass flying everywhere. Difficulty: Officials haven't even mentioned dynamite yet (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 11, 2019
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Finally a flight where nobody peed all over the seat in the airplane bathroom
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Cows need friends to be happy. I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French-fried potatoes
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Cuyahoga County Jail inmate released by mistake told staff he wasn't supposed to go free, asked judge how to go back
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So you landed a crippled jet after an exploding engine blew out a window killing a passenger? You'd be a real hero if you weren't a woman
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Medical)
 
 
 
Tea bags cognitive decline
source: news-medical.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Fourth Amendment wins in knockout over lying state trooper's massive drug bust
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Drug makers are price gouging you even worse than you thought
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"One psychiatrist who testified during her trial said she actually liked jail. It kept her away from her family"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Woman at Walmart uses butane torch to burn off price tags in attempt to get free merchandise. Let's see how that works out for her
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Halloween decorations you would like to see. Difficultly: No violence against public figures
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 11 Online)
 
 
 
Manitowoc man who certainly doesn't look as if he could possibly harbor military-grade explosives in his house convicted of harboring military-grade explosives in his house. His hobby began with fireworks and literally blew up from there
source: fox11online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal a van, don't stuff it with 130 pounds of marijuana and speed your way to your destination
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"It doesn't sound like something normal," says pastor, referring to "the case of the woman who stabbed deputies trying to save her from the church fire she set which totally should have happened in Florida"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMJ Youngstown)
 
Boobies
 
If you've been setting up booby traps for teenage ATV riders in Warren, Ohio, the police would like to have a word with you
source: wfmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Kansas girl pointing finger: "pew pew pew." Kansas police: "You have the right to remain silent"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Blizzard to usher in piercing cold in central U.S., and if you complain about it, they'll ban you from Hearthstone
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Least insane inmate escapes from insane asylum
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
The haunting of the Bothell Hell House continues, even as no one seems to know why the place is haunted in the first place other than the fact that it sells books
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
300-year-old magnolia tree in Virginia has seen a LOT of history, according to talking raccoon tour guide
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Semi spills Bud Light across Mormon church parking lot, confusing those inside who think it's beer
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Maybe this couple whose luxury wedding dream has been wrecked by two hurricanes and then Thomas Cook tours going bust should take these misfortunes as an omen and part ways before they get really hurt. Just sayin'
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: You can drink your own face at a new Ann Arbor cafe and waffle shop
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
Weeners
 
Ethics is hard, OK? Can't you cut a guy a little slack?
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and windows
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Look out Alabama. The fall nor'easter spinning southeast of New England was just promoted to Subtropical Storm Melissa
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Ed Sheeran and Prince Harry unite in video for World Mental Health Day, take applications for remainder of Ginger Voltron
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Drew's holding TotalFark Office Hours right now - testing and taking comment on a possible new ad unit for Fark. Sign up for TotalFark and see what you think about it. Or sign up for BareFark and never see it at all
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
You can buy deadly lasers on Amazon. Ostensibly for your sharks
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
California man pleads guilty to the 1990 kidnapping and murder of a teen girl. Glenn Beck seen glancing around nervously
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News is shocked, appalled, horrified, dismayed, consternated, outraged, alarmed, and somewhat disheartened by NBC's ongoing reputation as a "noxious and unrepentant boys' club" that treats women like disposable sex objects. Also inspired
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Yeah, that was a nice oil tanker you had there. Shame that someone shot some missiles at it. You see, when you don't respect how things work around here, stuff like this happens. Capisce? *slap* *slap* Now, don't do nothin' stupid you might regret
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mansion Global)
 
 
 
There once was a house in Nantucket / You saw the price and said
source: mansionglobal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Anaheim private school to shut down unless it can raise $1.1M by next summer. Various teams of scrappy youngsters seeking pirate jewels, football teams ready to compete, cheerleaders and dodge ball teams sigh heavily
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Luggage too heavy? Just wear EVERYTHING
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Alexei Leonov, the first human to walk in space 54 years ago, has died in Moscow. Боже, сэр
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
When happens when a Gen Z dipshiat tries to "live a day like it's 1983"? Well, you get articles like this. Oh, and someone tell this guy DVD players hadn't been invented yet
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consumer Reports)
 
 
 
Your Smart TV is watching you, but you can stop it even if you're not a member of the Inner Party or one of the Thought Police
source: consumerreports.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Watch out: Police thinks Becky gonna give away $50 THC candy to your kids on Halloween
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Inventor figures out how to sync music to windshield wipers. Now, just shut-up and take my money
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man previously arrested for putting child in oven now rearrested for attempting to boil one. Legal analysts suggest he may face life in a gingerbread house in the woods somewhere
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Retirees on Social Security will get an extra $24 a month next year, finally allowing our senior citizens to celebrate their golden years by stepping up to premium brands like Fancy Feast
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Cat Cafe burglarized in Birmingham, Alabama; the cats all sat and watched, doing nothing, because that's what they do
source: amp.charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Did you know frog legs inspired "Frankenstein" or cholera inspired Dracula? A new museum exhibit explores the real science behind these two and other Hollywood monsters. You'll have to see for yourself if Count Floyd is part of the sceddy fun
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
''Doorway donnybrook' at Lancaster Walmart' is the name of my Tennessee Williams fan fic
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Major wildfire erupts in Los Angeles County. Evacuations underway
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
If you have a date in traffic court for a red/yellow light ticket, you might want to read this. Preferably not while you're driving
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
We may have found signs of life on Mars...in the 1970s
source: blogs.scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
While terribly sad, I'm not sure falling while sliding down a banister railing at a museum party qualifies as a "freak accident"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Normally the Nobel Prize for literature doesn't attract much notice, let alone controversy outside of academic circles; but then normally it doesn't go to a guy who was best buds with a war criminal responsible for ethnic cleansing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blog Toronto)
 
 
 
How bad is Toronto's trash problem? Let's ask this squirrel
source: blogto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - A Godzilla versus movie you'd like to see
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you were in the hospital and your nurse gave you Benadryl, it probably meant she just wanted you to pass out for ten hours so she could have an easier shift
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Damascus: "Wipe them out. All of them"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New information in the Laquan McDonald shooting proves that over a dozen police officers submitted knowingly false reports to cover for the officer who murdered him -- and their bosses knowingly signed them. Remember, though -- Blue Lives Matter
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
During her lecture, Latina author Jennine Capó Crucet challenges students at Georgia Southern University to think about their whiteness. To show how wrong she is, they burn copies of her book. 'Murca
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
When not bullying fellow teachers, one teacher told students to rebel so as to "ruin class" and cause general chaos. Butters confused
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
To boost education results, British schools are removing one out of every ten students
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Iranian Oil tanker explodes off Saudi coast
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Pour one out for Splinter News, an infrequent PolTab source, which shut down and laid off staff. You wouldn't know about it you went there, nor its siblings such as Deadspin, Gizmodo, etc. because management has ordered writers not to blog about it
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Odd coincidence that my Village People tribute band has the same name
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Surveillance video shows Errol Spence's "That's not gonna buff out" Ferrari crash in Dallas
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 10, 2019
(CTV News)
 
 
 
You lose, Norway. YOU LOSE
source: regina.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The real story here is that you can take a college class in ninja history
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Wisconsinite floats across Lake Michigan, becomes small town celebrity in Muskegon, Michigan
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Comic-con bans blackface cosplay. Green/blue/purple-face, etc presumably still ok
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Another day, another moran trying to bring a replica grenade in his baggage at the airport
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Archdiocese of Seattle decides 73 Catholic schools in Washington are going to do better than state law and make their own rules for vaccination
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Mars rover finds oasis on Mars, is promptly headbutted by Liam Gallagher
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Shell crime nets cell time
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fancy sand
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Natasha Fatale identified by police after being caught on camera. Boris inconsolable
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Fail of the North Star
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Remember the wrong-way e-scooter rider who was shot in the buttocks for fleeing from police? Turns out the officer has a history of being trigger-happy and now faces charges
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hundreds of e-scooter users have lost their driver licenses to brewhaha
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Extinction Rebellion protester climbs on top of departing British Airways plane, says it's still a better option than flying Ryan Air
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
And he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for the fact that he filmed himself committing the murder and disposing of the body, and then somehow lost the memory card those pictures and videos were stored on on the streets of Anchorage
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Dog ownership associated with longer lives, study finds. Cat owners still assumed to lead crazier ones
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey Herald)
 
 
 
Sending emails and letters to local farms and stables requesting to have sex with their farm animals and then booby-trapping their driveways when they refuse is not way to go through life, son
source: njherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
The flags contain messages such as, "Is this your turd? 'Cuz that's absurd" and "This is a nudge to pick up the fudge"
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
University promotes the slogan "America Needs Farmers." Apparently someone has a problem with this when it's sponsored by an anti-environmentalist group
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man standing his ground in parking space gets 20-year sentence, interrupting his adverse possession claim and giving him a whole commissary to patrol for violations
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For her 70th birthday, Photoshop Sigourney Weaver
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Looks like the politicians in Australia's Canberra region have finally done it, drunk bees have dropped from the skies and swarmed the Parliament House
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
It may be time to reevaluate your life if you are arrested for refusing to leave Kmart
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Crazy Carolina chicken crate crash & chase
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Feel out of shape? Imagine how these balloons feel
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Normally some dude getting drunk and falling off a ferry into Halifax harbour isn't news. But this time there's video
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is what instant karma looks like
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Nike Jesus Shoes filled with "Holy Water" sell for $3,000, but aren't even cross trainers
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Driving slowly in the HOV lane while someone frantically honks at you to let them pass? You might be a hero. You're probably just being a dick, but still, there's a chance
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"Flash drought" brings dread to farmers, who apparently don't get The CW in the South
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember that hot felon guy? We found his opposite
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Brits warned not to approach huge semi-wild big pussy prowling the city of Bristol (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
"One of the landowners tells us he has removed the shoes from time to time but they have always returned. Somehow"
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man disguised as woman arrested for bank robbery, as yet another plan inspired by Bugs Bunny proves ineffective in the real world
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Denver police to snow-commuting Denver drivers: I suggest we form a calming circle
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The government of Romania has collapsed. Vampires everywhere
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cincinnati bans discrimination based on natural hair, still no explanation for noodles in chili
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Caption these observant fish
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Someone who wants to bring all sorts of strange Freemasonry spells upon themselves threw a Molotov cocktail at the historic Masonic Lodge in Manhattan
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Pro tip: When stuffing money in a bag after the clerk you're robbing throws it at you, don't leave your gun on the counter where the clerk can grab it
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein created a sexual-harassment Mutually Assured Destruction, telling NBC if they reported on his offenses, he'd report on Matt Lauer's. And absolutely nobody wants to see the football in either case
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Locals spot Virgin Mary on mahogany cabinet door at vintage shop in Kerry, Ireland. What makes this a true sign of holiness it that if the door is turned upside down the image looks the same. True holiness
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Stunned Georgia angler warns authorities about vicious northern snakehead fish he caught in a private pond before it could walk off on land and bite someone
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"How to prepare for a power outage" includes such helpful tips as "Learn how to open the garage door by hand"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Bride says her wedding day was ruined after the peacock cake she ordered 'came out looking like a lopsided turkey with leprosy'"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The 'most haunted village' in England forced to stop ghost tours after local vicar complains
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Yes, 911? I'd like to report a crime. I'm vegan and my friends just tricked me into eating chicken nuggets"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
"Tom will run. He will run from the cop. Tom will run with Rob. They will not stop," - First grade reading assignment
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this arc of a diver
source: panthalassa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Robber to cashier at McDonald's: give me all your cash. Cashier: Sorry, I can't open the till unless you buy something first. Robber: (taking out a couple of dollars) ok, give me a cheeseburger
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A $125 sports bra enfused with CBD oil that helps you "feel amazing from the moment that you get dressed and throughout your toughest workout"? Well, OK, but is it gluten free?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Parallel parking: It's not for everyone
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Not a meth user? Just moved into a former meth lab without knowing it? You are now
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
According to *hiccup* the Alcohol.org survey, Michigan *burp* has the second highest beer *groan* tolerance in the U.S. *belch*
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Poker dealer arrested for streaming videos at a bowling alley
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Forty forgotten things found in books, including money, glasses, and a dried lizard
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Crazy: Arizona official charged with smuggling women into the U.S. Crazier: To buy and sell their babies. Craziest: To people in Utah. There are no words
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Another example of why you should always be wary of buying a building on Facebook
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Go need electricity somewhere else
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A guide to history's rudest writers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
You got popped for DUI and refused the blood test. Don't act surprised when the cops execute a search warrant on your vehicle and find your baggie of weed. Or your sixty pounds of weed bagged up
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
If you love rooms that look like a technicolor rainbow vomited on them, you can rent a "Lisa Frank Flat" in L.A. now
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 753: "Exotic". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 09, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If the norovirus doesn't get you, the four story fall after 10 margaritas will
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Not news: New York City installs a new memorial statue in Battery Park. Fark: in memory of all the tourists eaten by wolves
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Fox Montana)
 
 
 
Grizzly sighting ends up being 'bear-looking llama.' No word if it had a beak for eating honey
source: abcfoxmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
How to bring an entire LRT system to a grinding halt. Jam open the door on ONE train. Fark: for the second time in two days
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman claims she failed a sobriety test because her drug dealer brother fed her a sandwich laced with meth. W/methed up mugshots
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Things to do on family vacation - open up the cabin, do some fishin', enjoy a campfire, pull 44 pounds of cocaine out of the ocean
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Historic" storm could cause Colorado's temperatures to drop 50 degrees in 24 hours. Montana: "You're adorable"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Dan)
 
 
 
Photoshop It's a rock
source: ca-times.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
When commenting on the bingo cheating, the church said they have never seen anything like it B-4
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Live Free or paintball the police station
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Fireballs fly as wizard attempts to rob convenience store
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Ghost, Spiderman, IT, Cattle?
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
New bike lane in Brooklyn is now a cops' parking lot because you can go fark yourself, that's why
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Remember when Osama bin Laden was secretly buried at sea but no one knew where? Well he's washed up on a Sussex, England beach and looks a little worse for wear. In fact he's been turned into a sea shell
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Traveler stops at rest area, absolutely destroys it. Who among us can judge this man?
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for jacking it too much
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Killing hundreds of people with opioids may result in a $572 million fine, but give a dude breasts and it's $8 billion
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Jeff Koons' 'Bouquet of Tulips'. Difficulty: SFW only
source: cdn.paris.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Cops swiftly determine that the murdered witness in the Amber Guyger case wasn't killed by cops in retaliation, he was killed by minorities while selling drugs and he shot first. That should clear everything right up
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman accidentally drops cellphone in storm drain before going to pick up mobile order at Chick-fil-A. She ends up getting a refund. And her phone back
source: disrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CattleCon coming in February for all you sick freaks who like to dress Bessie up as Elastigirl
source: convention.ncba.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1635, Roger Williams was banished from Massachusetts and went on to found Rhode Island, a place the size of 1/425 of an Alaska, which is 651 football fields wide, and which has stood for almost 13,000 Scaramuccis
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
That story about the multitudes who showed up for the funeral of a veteran with "no family"? Seems that he actually had two sons he walked out on when they were teenagers. And that ain't right
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
"The dog f****** stepped on it and it went off"
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nobody expects a Monty Python-themed wedding
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ah yes, the headline-to-last-sentence gap: "ESA Detects New Asteroid With Great Chance Of Hitting Earth" vs "Due to its small size, the asteroid will most likely burn up in Earth's atmosphere instead of hitting the ground"
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News Wheel)
 
 
 
Study shows eating while driving is incredibly unsafe. Bonus: It's actually Baby Boomers who are most likely to eat while driving every day
source: thenewswheel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
It turns out it is possible to die from an excess of goodwill, especially if a truck pins you against its wall
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Twenty-five more Boeing 737 NG jets found with cracked pickle forks. Status of sporks, gravy boats, large pie servers in question
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Gotha residents affected by flooding catch attention of leaders, possibly the Godda Batma
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
What is worse than being spotted on an e-scooter? Being the first one in your city to get charged with e-scooter DWI, reckless driving and refusal to submit breath samples
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this bicycle adjustment
source: flashbak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Police seize guns from incel threatening to shoot up Joker movie. No word if police informed him that he is, in fact, the punchline
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Airplane throws itself at the ground and misses
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Man defends himself with ax after being attacked with machete, garden hoe. Thankfully no rubber hoses were involved
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
800,000 residents may be without power for up to seven days in Northern California due to PG&E not wanting to lose another $11 billion for causing a wildfire
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Ridiculous catfight breaks out between two footballers' wives. The Internet is there. British to American translators unavailable however (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago police used parking placards to illegally park for free near Cubs and Bears games
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Man arrested for riding a tricycle at night while carrying cocaine and meth has a 'bicycle lamps required' charge tacked on
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why everything is getting LOUDER
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
And the winner of Fat Bear Week in Alaska is .... HOLLY THE BEAR. Yay, Holly, way to go. With "before and after all those salmon got in mah belly" pics
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mandatory)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mustard Man's girlfriend
source: cdn1-www.mandatory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, the dog with the human face
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cop pretends to be the mom of a 14-year-old to catch a perv. The new busted: The other cop who didn't know that was a thing
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Nobel Prize in chemistry awarded for technology to improve combustion in electric vehicles
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Where number one hurts, we're number one
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Drew wants to show you his unit
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Diplomatic immunity"... It's just been revok- wait, you never had it in the first place?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Forty-seven years after the first Hash Bash, the Ann Arbor City Council gives final approval to allow recreational marijuana businesses
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
The Calgary Zoo says an attempt to impregnate one of the female giant pandas has failed. Will try again after NCIS is done and the bottle of Crown Royal is empty
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Oh look everyone it's the latest Instagram craze trending right now...VSCO girls. Isn't your life just pathetic in comparison?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
It's nice to see people reach for the old classics, like this store owner firing on his customers with an AK-47
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Jimmy Carter utterly fails at retirement
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
Gallant uses a broom handle to pound on the ceiling to try to quiet down the noisy neighbors upstairs. Goofus uses a gun with predictable results
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
My GOD judge, even a despised NYC billboard boat doesn't deserve to be banished back to Florida
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 08, 2019
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Russian diamond mine operator found dead in his prison cell with 'signs of suicide' after lethal disaster. No word on how an empty elevator shaft with bullets at the bottom got into his cell
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Turns out the bag of meth hidden in a 24-year-old woman's vagina was, in fact, her property
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Worthville treasurer steals nearly $50K from borough, proving crime does not only not pay, it's not even worthwhile
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Tipping thread! Trump aims to gut what little protection tipped workers have because Fark the little people
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Truck crashes on NJ turnpike after driver sees man spit out of John Malkovich's head
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Los Angeles writer goes on 30 dates in one weekend, tries not to write any articles on the way through the parking lot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
On this day in 1871, 1.5 Rhode Islands went up in flames
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Former Radford student who stabbed her roommate to death told police she was "doing cocaine with the devil" shortly before the murder. Well sure, he's also got a stash of the best, but SOME of us can HANDLE our shiat
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eeeee-bo-laaaaa *honk*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Tiens ma bière, regarde ça
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Burning down a tree 'older than Jesus' may not be normal, but in Florida and on meth it is
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Fark's mascot hides treeful of nuts under car hood. "For how many walnuts there are up in that tree, it's amazing you don't see them all over the ground"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this TV game
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Flames engulf La Verne home. Shirley, Squiggy unavailable for comment
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
In a further sign of how far the opioid crisis has spread, Washington State health officials say "Screw it, Naloxone for everyone"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man, these new Scooby Doo remakes are getting INTENSE
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Lithium-Ion Batteries are found in many common objects people bring with them when they fly, but let's blame e-cigarettes because why not?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Yakitori thief nabbed, but not after punching pursuing train station employee in the face. The yakitori had a street value of 270 yen which is like $3.30 in Canadian or something
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Man shows up at Apple Store with body armor and an assault rifle. Security guard: "Not on my watch. Which is made by Apple. Which shows the time is 2:30am"
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Full Beaver Moon coming in November - so the gals are doing a Movember thing, now?
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Naked woman rescued after four hours on top of statue in Texas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Connecticut man grows world's largest squash, calls it a pumpkin
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman agitated to learn that her washing machine came with a spin cycle, a delicate cycle, and an explode cycle
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Maggiano's: when you're here, you're family. Specifically, a dysfunctional family where members wear disguises and smash up everything. But still: family
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
🎶 I see a bad unit a-rising, I see trouble on the way, I've been pissin' friggin' lightnin', I see bad times today. Don't go 'round tonight, I probably got it from your wife, There are STDs on the rise 🎶
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Iowa community was worried about safety with dead tree covered in hula hoops. Solution? Lower the speed limit on the neighboring road
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Good for you: successfully defending your Ph.D. thesis. Awesome: while wearing a skirt made from rejection letters you received along the way
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man, post a fake video of you arresting three scantily clad women and you also get a vacation? I shoulda been a Florida cop
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this street scene
source: scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good news for barefooted parents everywhere
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Dude, the blimp's just sitting there, doing nothing. Why not Airbnb it?"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Puerto Rican restaurant known for authentic dishes steps up authenticity by being completely destroyed
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look, not everyone who has a statue made of them is going to be a saint. Wait, you want a statue of an actual woman who was declared a saint? Well, we can't have that
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
It's 3 a.m. You decide to break into someone's home. Now what? Well, go to the kitchen, get naked, drink some milk, and start singing, of course. Duh
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Candy Corn found to be America's least favorite Halloween treat. Mary Janes, Circus Peanuts, Chick Tracts unavailable for comment
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
"Millennial buys own home by cutting out luxuries and being the Duchess of Southwark"
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Halloween candy, terrorist groups, and '90s names that are still around are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Sep. 29 - Oct 5: Unintended Consequences Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Where the Wild Things Are" author Maurice Sendak: Your portfolio is "greeting-card art." Sandra Boynton: Hold my ink bottle
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Strange things are afoot at the Dollar Tree
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Catholic priests may soon be able to have sex. Or at least get married, which is the next best thing (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The bizarre name Princess Diana was told to call her future husband. Come up with some better suggestions (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man wanted for breaking into Valve Software and stealing video games could face a half-life sentence
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1871, Mrs. O'Leary's cow achieved its bid for immortality
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Looks like they aren't lonely. And its only partly thanks to FarmersOnly.com (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
And now, the sexy 'Beyond Burger' costume
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Good news is you no longer have melanoma, Bad news we are giving you herpes
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Carson King backlash continues as someone sends him a year's supply of Busch Light
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I feel this warning should be redundant, but in case it needs to be said, don't set yourself on fire as part of an Internet challenge
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Sculpture made of bicycles is attracting kids to registered sex offender's yard
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida woman learns it's unwise to store something made of glass in her buttocks WHEN RIDING A BICYCLE. Especially if it's a crack pipe
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Pornhub sees huge spike in "Joker" related searches. They laugh at my boner, will they? I'll show them. I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Balanced Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy with scales for a head
source: ca-times.brightspotcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Today's item spilled all over the highway: burning bagels
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Senators no longer allowed to keep child sex dolls at work for extended periods if I'm reading this headline right
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
A university has paid the united States government nearly $200,000 afTeR one of theIr former Professors allegedly used federal grant money to further his PERSonal education. What's his Fark handle?
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KREM Spokane)
 
 
 
Rescue 22 people during a flood, including an infant? That's a $2,700 fine, pals
source: krem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Report claims US health care system spends up to $935 billion a year on stuff like partying with hot drug reps, executive bonuses. The rest is just wasted
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Parents are out of town, you know what that means: throw a house party and get with your crush
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Heckin' hoomans who can't do fractions are making doggos smol bois or chonkers
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high. Take a look, take her to book, a fleeting meth bow
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Seattle man proves the NIMBY hypocrisy of the city council by threatening to tow some homeless-owned derelict RVs to councilmembers' homes
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This judge cannot be a Farker if this is the stupidest story he has ever heard
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
I'm sick of all these Mother f*cking snakes in this Mother F*cking bag I stole
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
Give me back my beer and watch this
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FBI confirms inmate who confessed to over 90 murders is the worst serial killer in U.S. history. I dunno, doesn't that technically make him the best?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Hotel Dementia, your stay will be...well, not unforgettable...but nice
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 07, 2019
(KMBC Kansas City)
 
 
 
Nailed it
source: kmbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Brassey was born in Montana on October 4, 1912, about six months after the sinking of the Titanic. At this time she is not considered a suspect
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Cheap dime store hood crowbars open pop machine, leads police on damaging chase in his pick up truck, concluding in him being cuffed, in possession of an ice cold can of refreshing Wicked Reds Black Cherry and $34.23
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Bet he goes for jury nullification on this one. It's his house, after all
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Pennsylvanian)
 
 
 
And the new victim class on campus is Legacy Students
source: thedp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horse and rider
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight on Paul's Memory Bank (8PM EDT) Stan Freberg lampoons advertising men, George & Liz take music lessons to compete in a radio talent show and Superman assists the young owner of an amusement park. But first.....an announcement
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man struck by lightning while walking his dogs saved by bystanders
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida Man: "Wanna go on a date?" Woman: "No." Florida Man: (Pulling out machete) "How about now?"
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
After an employee at a Wisconsin music store saw a man with one of their flutes down his pants, the store turned the flute into a lamp
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
High costs of getting married got you down? You could always do what this guy did
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: When boarding a plane, the TSA would prefer you have a ticket, a boarding pass, or at least some form of ID better than a picture on your phone
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
While we've all been distracted by America's implosion and the Brexit circus, nobody bothered to put out that Amazon forest fire
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this goat
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Baaaaaaaa baaaaa (exclamation point) Get out of my way (exclamation point) Phhthbbbbb (exclamation point) (Horns are loud, eh?)
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Waterloo teacher placed on leave after 'sniper rifle' comment about Greta Thunberg. No word if he'll be exiled to a small island in response
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The average American commuter now spends a total of nine days per year sitting in traffic. Telecommuting subby had a rough trip in this morning as well -- dog was sleeping in the hallway and I almost tripped over him. Didn't, though
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Seventy-three-year old Maine man "With a lifelong passion for music and a deep Christian faith," has just finished recording a "a 32-hour rock opera version of the Bible" that's expected to be exactly as awful as it sounds
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
'Concern grows' after third shooting in a week. Residents claim further acts of wanton violence may give rise to furrowed brows, possibly an angry expression
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Extinction Rebellion grinds London to a halt. Hopefully they got that hose working
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
What image does the phrase "Hairy crab nets in China" conjure up
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Meteorologist explains why this winter in the Pacific Northwest may be neutral, or it could be worse than usual, or maybe better, because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Artist unveils sculpture of a handful of tulips in memory of the victims of the 2015 Bataclan attacks. Comparisons are immediately made to marshmallows, sex toys and parts of the human anatomy. Well, they do say art is subjective
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Nearly half of U.S. residents say they've been gaslit. Smaller percentage admit they've lit gas
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Replace the quote in this ad with a caption of what other kids might think about this cereal
source: mrbreakfast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Fat Bear Week in Alaska? Awesome, I'm in. I've just got to find my old leathers and I think I still have those tight Speedos and those jeans with the holes and...Oh. Those kinds of bears
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Whales only appear in London about once very 10 years, until climate change kicks in and they can swim right over it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Today's "best ever" UFO sighting comes to us from Texas after red "triangular craft" is captured in all its pixelated glory hovering about in the night sky (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Iran believes wanting to look like Angelina Jolie is criminal blasphemy (w/ scary pic)
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Shiat's on fire, yinz
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
"Croatian Elon Musk" to release 2000hp electric supercar. His last supercar burst into flames upon being crashed by Richard Hammond, and the smoldering hulk continued to burst into flames over the next several days
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Bush-munchers denuding Greek island. No, not Lesbos
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these people
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Beer could have prevented the mass shooting at Kansas City bar
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man, these Oktoberfest copies are really blowing up this year
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scotland Yard is running a major, secret database designed to prevent crime. Some people have a problem with this
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Man finds seven metre long NOPE skin during walk. Why yes, this was in Australia, why do you ask?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Remember when Salon loved all the wrong men? Salon does
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Just another dog shoots owner story in Oklahoma
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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