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Sun October 06, 2019
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jimmy Carter does a Gerald Ford
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Millennials have ruined ... *shakes magic eight ball* ... the economy
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these seamen
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
New Hampshire man goes 136 mph straight to jail
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Creepy, Cool tags are reporting an enormous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on top of a restaurant, and what appear to be monstrous huge, green tentacles coming out of the windows
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Old and busted: dumpster fire. New hotness: Tesla fire
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dancer
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Okay, how about if five people are shot to death in Austria, is that a mass shooting?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Coupon woman is back in jail. Probably a BOGO offender
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Guess you could call that an ewe-ber mistake
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney World's new gondola system has been running for a week now, let's check in and see how it's doing. Oh, dear
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hoping to become local heroes, four kids go off to find missing elderly woman. They'll never have any friends later on like the ones they had when they were eleven. Jesus, does anyone?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Florida Girl tries to hire Dirty Deeds Thunderchief, gets arrested instead. One day to be promoted to Florida Woman
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Suddenly, Deer
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women are attracted to men who binge drink, say drunk scientists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Is nine shot and four killed enough for a mass shooting, or is that just a minor incident these days?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magnificent man and his flying machine
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That thing that got confiscated
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Department of Environmental Quality to Homeowner: You are not allowed to build dams on your property without the proper permit. Homeowner to Department of Environmental Quality: FU and STFU, beavers are building the dams
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The man who testified against Amber Guyger ran into a bullet several times in the parking lot of his apartment building
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
We're all dead if this kind of thing catches on
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GoFundMe)
 
 
 
Fark Cancer
source: ca.gofundme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Two (2) men arrested twice (2x) in 1 day
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bride 'honors' her dad by wearing his ashes as fingernails
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Toddlers wander off from daycare unnoticed, commit a string of armed robberies across 18 states
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
US State Dept decides that a diplomat's wife who killed a British teen by driving in the wrong lane should keep calm and get thee gone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 05, 2019
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Knives being recalled because they can stab
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Good graffiti ruined by bad graffiti
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Four words: Miracle on the Susquehanna
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Police searching for man who robbed a Circle K with a sharp wooden stake. Authorities say if he's not caught, it will be a huge missed stake
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create your own children's book cover for a story that would likely fail to make the bestseller list
source: redtricom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
3.6 magnitude earthquake strikes San Francisco. Local officials describe damage as "Not great, not terrible"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida woman leads deputies on a six-hour chase... in a Big Lots ceiling
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this superhero landing
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Good guy with a finger gun: "Stop, (bad person), or I'll shoot"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Get your skis out, east coasters
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Shark-spotting drone warns swimmers there's a Great White all up in their business, but Australians are pretty relaxed about deadly animals, mate (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
FDA urges Americans to stick to smoking their weed
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I now doubt the existence of homecoming floats, cheerleaders, and the Heimlich maneuver
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this dog getting vaccinated
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pigs have mastered the use of tools. Everyone panic!
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anchor, baby
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Latest Queensland TV star: a kangaroo with a bucket on its head
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying fighter
source: 66.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAP)
 
 
 
Good news, Alabama. Sheriffs will gladly drop by if you want your meth tested
source: wtap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hospital administrators alerted about demeaning and mocking "Wall of Shame" made by hospital staff about patients with disabilities, quickly leap into action and remove it four months later
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
"Inspirational to have a patient, that has this major disability and yet they're just loving life. They don't mind. They don't even notice." Welcome to Caturday
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Abby Guy)
 
 
 
♪ Hey, I just robbed you / and this is crazy / so here's my cell phone / so call me maybe? ♫
source: abbynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Port City Daily)
 
 
 
Teen threatens to shoot up a movie theater in NC, with "click if you dare" photo
source: portcitydaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Canadians: Stop being friendly in America. It makes people think you need rescuing
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
.......... ........... ........... ............ ........... ........... ............ ........... ........... it's
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Own a hot tub? Cool, cool.. Just, you know, try not to think about Legionnaires' disease. No, no -- no particular reason. Just, you know, don't think about it. You'll be fine. Maybe
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Knowing everything Australian is a killing machine, Iran releases jailed Aussie bloggers
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China and Taiwan go to war. A Wikipedia edit war, that is
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Glenlivet pivots iconic Scotch whiskey for the Tide Pod Challenge demographic
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
That brotherhood that lasts a lifetime will have to be put on hold, as Ohio University suspends 15 fraternities on suspicion of hazing
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Trump wants to double the amount of ethanol in your gas, ruin all your engines, burn all your food
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
As if SF didn't have enough crap already on its streets, new Goop store to open
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Banning cars from Manhattan is our only hope
source: ny.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Peruvian marines track a drug smuggling ship for days before intercepting it and seizing its illegal $6 million cargo of 12 million dried seahorses. Word on the street is they're using Syngnathidae species as medicine, kids callin' em crack pipefish
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 04, 2019
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
 
 
Wisconsin woman sentenced for handing out pot brownies at a St. Patrick's Day parade. Cheesy mugshot included
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Albuquerque police suggest questions you can ask to determine if the cop who stopped you is legit: What is your badge number? Who is your supervisor? What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Missing house found in nearby landfill
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in the concentration camps...
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When confronting a Russian spyplane, a Danish F-16 pilot takes an order to show the flag rather literally
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCG New Bloomfield)
 
 
 
It's like Breaking Bad, but instead of making meth, she just skims the register at Dairy Queen. On second thought, it's nothing like Breaking Bad
source: krcgtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida woman arrested after her parents discover her cache of two dozen pipe bombs, a shiatload of knives and "dozens of books and DVDs about murder, mass killings, bomb-making and domestic terrorism"
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Not News: Gyroplane crashes in Florida swampland. News: Sheriff's Department dispatches a helicopter to investigate. Fark: Which promptly crashes. Ultrafark: Necessitating a rescue by the Coast Guard. Monty Python: Which stayed up
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fast food restaurant on a boat
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Holland would like to remind everyone that Holland is more than just Holland. There's also North Holland, South Holland, and of course Gelderland, birthplace of the medieval jousting champion Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another parent sentenced for his involvement in the college admissions scam as well as for having a douchebag haircut
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Move over, Corpse Bride, here comes Death Midwife. Note no babies are actually involved and that's the problem
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Bruce Campbell discovers original D-Day recordings in his basement, donates them to National D-Day Memorial. Groovy
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
FBI: encrypting Facebook will fill it with child pornography, turn your dog gay
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Tomcat has to be revived with IV Drip after bonking his brains out with five different lady kittehs in one night
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
In a strange turn of events submitter can now stamp the "Personally knows someone who was shot to death while trying to rob a liquor store with a Samurai sword" box on his BINGO card
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Reporter's wig gets snatched on live TV
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Ten minute snooze button leads to 10-day jail sentence
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Hospital keeps brain dead patient on life support. To inflate their survival average. For a year
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this awesome photo
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
In 1991, California's last manual telephone switchboard is replaced with computerized equipment. The interesting part is why the owner waited so long to do it
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
The trade war is exploding, the planet is melting, the president is going insane, and the Supreme Court is about to turn America into Gilead. But here's the thing....THE MCRIB IS COMING BACK NEXT WEEK
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Police burn $100K worth of marijuana found growing in swimming pool. Cop math tells us it could have been a dollar store wading pool, but pics, video show otherwise
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Not sure how to use an outhouse? Canadian National Parks have got you covered (possibly NSFW)
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue dog stuck in air vent after grate gives way. Cat seen laughing, hiding screws
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
'Police listed Sastra's cause of death as "electrocution by mobile phone" and said that they were not treating the death as suspicious'
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Strange man found sleeping in tub in bathroom looks like he's sleeping off the last Fark party
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Vaping illness reaches a new psychological milestone. Now the number of patients has a comma in it
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"I'm just an ordinary peasant. I don't know English. It's inconvenient to communicate with you. Please understand. This is what I think is the best video, although not technical content, but very intoxicating"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Researchers using 'vaping robot' to study effects of e-cigarettes. They would already be done, but it keeps catching fire, emitting gamma rays and spewing PCBs into a nearby river
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
60-yard-wide wind gust flattens half of Rhode Island
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Chip and Joanna Gaines are opening a hotel. Shiplap. Shiplap everywhere
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Naked intruder caught on camera in backyard while family sleeps. "And what made it even more weird, strange and disgusting is when I see him go off-camera and he comes back wet and naked"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
The most miserable cities in the U.S., ranked. Detroit, you're gonna have to try harder, you're down to #3
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Caption this interaction at a Fotomat
source: 4.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in History, in 1777, Continental force under General George Washington attacked the British at Germantown, with both sides suffering heavy losses. This might have gone differently if not for the fog of war, in which troops got lost
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Fentanyl in her bra and a 3-year-old child in the back seat? At least her mugshot looks good
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
This motorcyclist may be dead from a crash, but his motorcycle will live on thanks to the people who stole it before the ambulances even showed up
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The greatest clown threat to America has always been Wrinkles the Clown
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hong Kong leader: Hey, I know. Let's bring back an old law from the Colonial era banning masks. That will stop the protesters, right? Damn, I'm good at this
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
ICYMI: What do you mean I can't deflesh and mount family members' skulls? A quick history of Abuse of a Corpse laws in Iowa and Kentucky. Bonus drones with flamethrowers and well endowed shoplifters running to the local media
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Woman apologises to LGBT community for naming her 'trans-hen-der' cock 'Girlboy' after he laid an egg
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Wut Wut in the butt? Teen takes a zombie killer knife in the butt in vicious 'bagging' attack
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Staten Island couple gets pet horse after realizing there's no city law against it. Reporter attempts quinella of puns in story
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In a world, where anything can happen, it was supposed to be...a three hour tour. This summer, the weather gets...a little rough
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
"Zoinks, it's a g-g-g-g-GHOST SHIP!"
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Fark: Georgia teacher puts up picture of Confederate flag in classroom. UltraFark: And is put on leave for placing the words "white trash" under it
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mud people
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Who the fark chucks bottles of milk at the milkman at 3:50 am in the morning?
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Uber is sucking cash out of the business every year they operate. They can't invest in growth without just deepening their losses." So now is a great time to introduce Uber Work
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carlyle Observer)
 
 
 
Police Report: A call came in where it was alleged individuals had taken a cat and were going to shave a profanity on it. Fortunately "The cat came back" and there was no shaving involved
source: carlyleobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Coast Guard officer pleads guilty to planning armed assaults against Democratic politicians, including Senators Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker, and Kamala Harris
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn, I say TORN, son from the Front Page of the Bangor - STILL not listenin' to me are ya, boy? Now looky here: A hen keeps a'layin' eggs in the owner's BED while that gibberin' idiot dog catnaps. Nice girl, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Do not taunt iPhone monkey
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Sheep off the lam after evading "crowds of kilted rednecks" for over three weeks. Mutton trifecta in play
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I can see trading your toddler for a pick-up truck or an SUV, but a 1992 Plymouth Laser?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Police find drugs after pulling over ambulance. Don't most ambulances have drugs on board to begin with?
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
How do you build a $41 million library in NYC and have three fiction sections that are only accessible by stairs? Hire an illiterate architect
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Norwegian man decides to throw surprise birthday party for his father-in-law. Floridalarity ensues
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 03, 2019
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Fun Fact: 911 Dispatchers are not allowed to tell people to get rid of evidence. Even in Florida
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
For only £9.9m you can show you're fairly intelligent and possess a sense of humor
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You really probably should not vape. At all
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
High pollen counts found to correlate with low violent crime rates, possibly because it's hard to get worked up and angry through a haze of allergy medicine
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Welp, there it is. The end of the human race
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
A tasty history of edible underwear
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
What's the most stoned thing you've ever done, aside from reading a BuzzFeed list of stoned people stuff and then commenting about it on Fark?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
"The Devil can't hurt you" Mom tells kids after ramming palm tree. Obviously mom can though
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bob Woodward hosts interview with the two women who authored "She Said," an account of their investigation that brought down Harvey Weinstein, and learns that mansplaining and constantly interrupting do not play well with the book's fans
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Extinction Rebellion reveals plans to 'shut down' central London next week. After their fake blood spraying fire hose drill outside Her Majesty's Treasury, this should go real well
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Homeless shelter moving into former UW frat house, raising concerns among neighbors about crime, security, possibly reduced drug use
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fine Art America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bit of Britannia
source: images.fineartamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Ewok wins lawsuit against ex wife's lover. Han Solo plans to appeal. Chewy inconsolable
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
You're an Artificial Intelligence? Well, blow me (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Whatcom deputies asking for help in murder case. Whocom, wherecom deputies expected to offer assistance
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The one where Smithers illegally sells prescription drugs
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
If you want the sheep to fart less, maybe just feed them better instead?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Suspected drone-flying food cart burglar arrested. Hmm, have to admit flying a drone to get myself a hot dog in lieu of running downstairs sounds like a good plan
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Firefighter in Canada accidentally orders 18 pizzas from pizzeria 2,300 miles away. Click to find out why this doesn't have a Fail tag
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Honestly, who steals Gandhi's ashes?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Zebra running streets of Germany shot, once again proving the theory that zebras are just horses that escaped from prison
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAW Wausau)
 
 
 
Hundreds dead at scene of Wausau mass shooting
source: wsaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Attempting to carjack an 80-year-old nun while high on LSD is no way to go through life, ma'am
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If you grew up in Corvallis, Oregon, and married your high school sweetheart, fellow churchgoer, or anybody from your neighborhood, you might want to go get your and your spouse's DNA checked
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Intoxicated man arrested after trying to smoke gravel. Apparently, he hit rock bottom
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
MASS approves marijuana delivery services right to your home. Combine that with some Grub Hub burritos and you can ride out the weekend like Cheech and Chong, man
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this inspection
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Looking for a gift for that special little lady in your life? Why not consider this beautiful porcelain spiked baseball bat? Or better yet the porcelain flail? What better way to make her feel like a woman
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(TC Palm)
 
 
 
The good thing about Long Island Iced Teas is that when you have so many you forget to pay for them, it's OK. Not really
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bloody hell breaks out after extinction rebellion lose control of fire hose while spraying fake blood outside Her Majesty's Treasury in London
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Do you like NYC's new Hudson Yards and all the great architecture? Well a design studio has crafted a series of dildos and butt plugs to help you like it further (NSFW)
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(Variety)
 
 
 
Sesame Street moving to HBO Max. If you thought Bert and Ernie had fists up their asses before, you ain't seen nothin' yet
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Blessed be the fruit of the couple that decided a Handmaid's Tale wedding theme was a good idea
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: the Gathering
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
MGM Resorts is nearing an $800 million settlement with the families of the 58 victims of the 2016 shooting. No word on whether that includes a lifetime free buffet pass, comped rooms Tues-Thursday nights, or credits for free slot play
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Company to job applicant: "This [bikini pic] is not doing you any favors in finding a professional job." Sex discrimination lawyers: "But it is doing us some favors"
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(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Woman celebrates national taco day early by slashing customer's throat at Taco Bell. (with a "do I look like I would slash your throat?" mugshot)
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover there was once civilization in Saudi Arabia, possibly funded by a tax on incense
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
"Vikings didn't send their dead out to sea on flaming ships". Thanks for ruining one of my last illusions, Mental Floss
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Fleet' of glowing objects seen off North Carolina coast ...SpongeBob SquarePants and friend say it wasn't them who left the streetlights on (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man claims iPhone made him gay. Samsung overheard saying, "I mean, it's probably not true, but you never know. After all, nobody's claiming that about our phones. Not telling you to be concerned, but we understand if you are" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
At last you can buy a robot that looks exactly like you. As long as you look like a fire-damaged Toby Maguire (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Smile, Mr. Car Thief. You're on candid car dashcam
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Happy Cheek Piercing Day, I guess
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
NC State professor called women 'useless' during a lecture. He then tried to explain why they are not useless. "Well, obviously, it was a joke. Women are obviously useful because we need them for a species to reproduce." So all good, right sugar pie?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Car crashes into UK chicken shop. No, it wasn't a coupe
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Kashmir journalists protest two-month blackout. Pfft, amateurs, subby doesn't even remember any of 1997
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Caption these kids and their mom on the soda aisle
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
An Air National Guard command chief was riding in the back of the B-17 that crashed and managed to pop the hatch and rescue several people as the plane burned
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Friends of the woman who entered the lion's enclosure at the Bronx zoo say she has "gone off the rails in the past year". And over the fence as well apparently
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Building on such successes as "Coffee with a Cop" and "Beers with Politicians," Paris police are trying to make other trends uncool by co-opting them
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(Google)
 
 
 
Study shows eating onions and garlic reduces chances of breast cancer, vampires, getting kissed
source: news.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
And the top story out of Iowa today, a bull was on the loose in the state capitol, requiring police response
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
It was a record-breaking 100 degrees in parts of Alabama yesterday, as climate change attempts to bake the abomination that is pumpkin spice from the face of the earth
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
What are you going to be for Halloween? I'm going to be a sexy college admissions scandal
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"Mummies of the World" exhibit opens this weekend and would be bearable if that damn theme song wasn't on repeat everywhere
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Police want help identifying man who showed up on the front porch of sorority house wearing nothing but a Speedo and with words like "pervert" written on his chest. Ultra creepy: For the third time (with "WTF?" pics and video)
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop photographer Julia Christe flying
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Woman mocked for elaborate hair braiding that makes her look like a giant, veiny shlong
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Police investigating vandalism at America's Stonehenge. It's not even time to set that clock back an hour
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Face it. At this point, it seems gators are just breeding in the sewers of Pittsburgh
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If you're a pastor a you better pray to the Holy Ghost that you don't get convicted of illegally running a cemetery
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Woman dies at 102, DirecTV charges early termination fee"
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Not news: Georgia police officer takes driver's marijuana. FARK: Then, "You are more than welcome to have it back." Because they can't prove it's not a sack of hemp
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(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Parents protesting against high school's chicken pox vaccination policy should remember their kids will later have a say in their nursing home, shingles vaccination options
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Speaking in tongues can be so boring you might just want to check your Insta or post on Fark, but you have to admit it's a bad look, Reverend
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
The IRS tells Congress it audits the poor more than the 1% because it doesn't have enough money and people to audit the wealthy properly. That earthquake is actually Willie Sutton mega-facepalming in his grave
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Vaping is no more harmful to you than mustard. *squints, double checks* Mustard gas. Oh
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Colombians swear by the life-preserving qualities of cocaine
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Smoke in the boys' room. Now teacher don't you fill me up with your rules, 'cause everybody knows that arson ain't allowed in school
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Save the Murrel)
 
 
 
Dozens of eyewitnesses are seeing something in the forest that they cannot explain, even with a $2,000,000 reward on the line
source: savethemurrel.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 752: "Leaf it Alone". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 02, 2019
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Swamp gas from a weather balloon that was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflecting the light from Venus just crashed in Roswell, Chile
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just how expensive is it to live in San Diego? Let me put it this way: $1,050 a month will get you a 200 square foot shed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Dead zoo alligator had a yen for self-destruction, ingested at least 330 coins over his lifetime. "A veterinarian at the facility advised that throwing coins into the alligator pond would not bring good fortune"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Captured Tokyo panty thief assures police and general public that there's a very good reason his stash of 78 undergarments contained no bras: He's a butt man
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Here's the thing about pumpkin spice...
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Moose trap
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop.... whatever the heck is happening here
source: jackiemantey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Seven died when a B-17 crashed. Not a repeat of 1943
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
They were going to sentence former cop Amber Guyger to house arrest for the shooting death of her unarmed neighbor Botham Jean, but she didn't know which house was hers, so they gave her 10 years in prison instead
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Trump's huge expansion in Scotland is turned down because it's not Scottish
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man who made $20K/yr bought a Lexus with his erroneous $980,000 tax refund. He took a bus to court
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
UFOs, meteorites, Moses, or space debris? You decide
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Photoshop this picture of kids playing a video game
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(U.S. Navy)
 
 
 
I, for one, welcome our new Ghost Fleet Overlord. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted naval engineer, subby could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underwater coral caves
source: navsea.navy.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 4 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Disagreement about computer turns into a sworded affair
source: news4sanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian alcohol consumption at historic low, raising life expectancy to the ripe old age of 68
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Many martial arts weapons were improvised from common tools. Many marital arts weapons are improvised from common household items. This lady has mastered the art of 'Nerf Gun Pistol-Whipping'
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The US Air Force just test-launched an ICBM over the Pacific, because why not?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Dental hygienist loses license for having sexual relationship with his client, who just happens to be his wife
source: kitchener.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Watch thieves steal $4,200 of Victoria's Secret underwear, or about four pairs
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
A robot fish that flies using its own butt gas is the ultimate metaphor for ...well...everything (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Man reports fake carjacking so his wife won't find out his car was towed from in front of his girlfriend's home
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Today in unreliable reporting: Jezebel uses the Daily Mail as a source for Ukrainian orphan is really a secret murderous adult story
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Stolen. Stolen. Stolen foot-long "Electric Vibrator Wand"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're in zombie makeup and have to go to the hospital, please let the medical staff know it's actually makeup
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Despicable White Power Me
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Woman confronts 'weirdo' Santa Claus wannabe who was just taking pictures of her legs in London to size up the stockings she's getting for Christmas. Yeah, that's it
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Move over panties on your heads wedding games, these wedding guests set fire to their heads with sambuca
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Clarkson, Hammond, and May apparently have a Missouri-based cousin. Someone is trying to sell a home-built limousine made from two 1993 Ford Festivas welded together
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
I'm too sexy for the catwalk. On the catwalk, I'm being led off. Of the catwalk
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red demon
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf News)
 
 
 
This Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, make your dog love you just a little bit more by spoiling them with treats. Woofday tag narrowly edges out Obvious tag
source: gulfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Unhappy with electric scooters littering the landscape, man decides to take matters into his own hands. Fark: Florida Man
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Chronic masturbator caught, apparently continues during mug shot
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
THE Ohio State University now ranked #1 in most students molested by an athletic department doctor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What do aliens want with cow tongues and genitals?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
...or Poseidon has had enough of Little Rocket Man's crap
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Park Service)
 
 
 
Katmai National Park's Fat Bear Week Bracket will distract you from this horrible week
source: nps.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Screwball nailed
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Who says public transportation isn't profitable when transit authority employee can steal over $300,000 in change from buses?
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Viral 'beer money' fundraiser turns strangers into friends, accumulates in wild fun party. Just kidding, it erupts into racist tweets, causes a reporter to be fired, and creates a lot of online drama
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Going to the United States to volunteer and don't have your papers in perfect order? That's an automatic five-year ban
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Manhattan attorney now playing hardball with Chelsea Piers, sues them for $100,000 because a faulty batting machine sent a 75-mph fastball straight into his nads. Awwwwww ......owwwwW
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Texas McDonald's besieged by crazy shark dude, dude dude, dude dude dude
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cowardly lion doesn't have the heart to deal with brainless woman who entered his enclosure at Bronx Zoo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
An arch too far collapses in Taiwan bay
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 01, 2019
(KPLC Lake Charles)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old, too young to remember Cruis'n USA, steals school bus and recreates the experience for himself
source: kplctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Sir we can assure you your baggage is definitely on the plane, see over there on the tarmac there is NOTHING there." Passenger: WAT?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In fourteen hundred ninety-two Spain expelled your parent Jew. They took their ships and sailed from Spain, for a while you could come back again
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Johnson & Johnson settles their "massive" opiod suit, will pay out the princely sum of the change found between their couch cushions
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Forest fire started by 1) lightning 2) embers from campfire 3) tree thieves trying to burn a beehive
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Voter card for woman murdered seven years ago shows up at her parents' house because they've been unable to get her legally declared dead, even though two men are in prison for her murder
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Daredevil decides not to ski down Mt. Everest. Still a pinball wizard
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Escaping from a forced labor camp? Drones finding fugitives in caves? LOOK UPON YOUR DYSTOPIAN FUTURE AND REJOICE
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Protest erupts over worst Dutch rudder ever. Wait, rush hour - well you've probably already clicked
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Police judges score driver's gymnastic routine poorly, noting he failed to stick the landing even if he succeeded at the rare 'three times the legal limit' maneuver
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Dragon Con co-founder charged again with failing his will save versus child porn
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plane
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
One should never pass up opportunities to further their education, unless you're this inebriated Florida Man sneaking into a high school classroom
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
In Soviet Russia, genes edit you (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Police find what could amount to a fun weekend in Las Vegas after raid on mayor in China (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Sex rebab and super gonorrhea...the story of Steel Panther's new album
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Hell has frozen over in Wisconsin, driving drunk on a lawnmower now carries same penalties as driving a car intoxicated. No ruling yet on riding a cow
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The trailer for DC's "Birds of Prey" is here and if you ever wondered what "Suicide Squad" would look like if Hot Topic threw up on it, today's your lucky day
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10 New England)
 
 
 
Great White Sharks have been detected for the first time in Rhode Island waters, may devour entire state. Sharknado imminent, residents urged to flee to Massachusetts; find a bigger boat
source: turnto10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
A federal judge says NYC has to allow adult entertainment. Probably just a coincidence that his ruling is 69 pages
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these handlebars
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Fox Montana)
 
 
 
Band of Blackfeet warriors descends on sick and elderly--and shovels the four feet of snow that fell on their homes over the weekend
source: abcfoxmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Police searching for hit-and-run driver who hit pony named Pinto, which somehow manged to avoid exploding
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Church has a congregation growing rapidly, so they needed to find a new building. So they bought a strip club. The altar is now called the VIP section, and offerings are now in the form of dollar bills tucked into the g-strings of sexy ushers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
IHOP customers learn that there are no free refills for orange juice, beat the manager to a pulp
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Elvis is alive, and stealing imitation vaginas (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Corporate bankruptcy, concert venues, and haute couture are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz Sept. 22-28 Starbucks Japan Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
When cremating a 500 pound body, make sure the fire dept is standing by
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Not News: Dolphins are swimming, mating and even giving birth. Fark: In the Potomac River
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
It's bad enough when someone steals your car, but it's just rude when they steal your grandmother too
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Couple: We ain't moving. Town: We are. Bye
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bend Bulletin)
 
 
 
Male teacher writes non romantic, compassionate, and caring letter to female student. Student's mom thinks it was "awesome". Unfortunately for him, school district doesn't think the same
source: bendbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
'That felt kind of creepy:' Winter Park man finds snake stuck in dryer
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
1. Obtain crashed UFO. 2. Copy aliens' homework. 3. Profit. It's the Blink 182 way (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Tradition dictates that one gives rubies for a 40 year anniversary, gold for the fiftieth, and diamonds for the sixtieth. But what do you get for the seventieth? How about hypersonic nuclear missiles?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
There are now six more days to chase the elusive Red Snapper in Florida according to this article that is totally not what I thought it was about
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
One Botham died to bring you this guilty verdict
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mike Pompeo moves quickly to dispel growing rumors that he hasn't turned the State Department into yet another collection of Trump-serving lackeys
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Armadillos are migrating north. But mostly they just dig tunnels in your yard
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prince Harry insists we end human "greed apathy and avarice". Not his family's but you know...the little people's
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Carjacker hits a car, a streetlight, a bakery, two bystanders and a squad car before bursting into flame. The Aristocrats
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Rat Farts!
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Study finds out what we all have known: People are slower mentally in flyover states than people living near the coasts. Coastal people are happier and have fewer mental health disorders
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Free-range nipples are still banned in Oklahoma City
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Moria is hell." Sure there's all that mithril but it's absolutely thick with orcs and don't get me started on the Balrog
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Turns out it was two walk-in hackers who submitted Michigan I-75 drivers to the North-Going Sex and the South-Going Sex. Dr. Seuss unavailable for comment
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
I don't even know why I bother to submit headlines since apparently I am not funny, smart, or clever enough to get a green
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Is it time to rename John Wayne airport?" asked nobody. Well, except this author, I guess
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
When you lock your keys in your car, do you: a.) call your wife to bring you a spare, b.) find a locksmith, c.) dial 911 as many times as possible until the cops show up
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
Weeners
 
Bull penis pet treats stolen from store. Your dog wants sirloin steak, not tube steak
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa teen advertises for school shooter on Indeed.com
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Supreme Court will decide today whether Domino's and other corporations have the legal right to tell blind and visually impaired people who access their websites to go be blind and visually impaired someplace else
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sea lion
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Riot police shoot Hong Kong protester in the chest with live ammo
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
The world's most famous peanut farmer turns 95 today
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Hong Kong shows how, on the 70th anniversary of National Day, "revolution" is done. (LGT liveblog of SCMP coverage)
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Conman, embezzler, and 'doomsday prepper' Jim Bakker: Jesus will return within 10 years
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Too posh for prison: British teen edition. Sick tag is for their drink of choice
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Apparently alligators can read
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Two Irishmen walk into a karaoke parlor and get arrested for possession of heroin. First, that's not a joke, and second, if that's what they need to sing Danny Boy, give 'em a break
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
World's longest paved bike trail will connect to Atlanta's Beltline, thanks to big Cox
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Sixteen kids walk into a TB screening, walk out with instant diabeetus
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Woman appears to 'key' Tesla, its on-board motion-capturing cameras record the whole thing
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Something old, something new; something borrowed, something blue. Some got drunk, some got blazed; blowing chunks, getting tased. Attacked some cops; went to jail. Wedding party needs some bail
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 30, 2019
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
When this lady says her dish is an old family recipe, she means it's an OLD family recipe, like going back to 1408
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBZK Bozeman)
 
 
 
Listen my children and you shall hear / Of a man near Old Faithful, drinking beer / On the last day of September, he fell in / Now he's looking for what's left of his skin
source: kbzk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1938, Neville Chamberlain, Edouard Daladier, and Adolf Hitler signed the Munich Pact to prevent war. And as we all know, everyone lived happily ever after
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN thinks you should smile more
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Just like the Old West: Wanted man evades arrest by hiding in Ozarks cave
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
October 15, 2009: never forget
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Give that guy a raise
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop La Cité du Vin
source: compassandfork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank - OTR Edition - continues the Triple Play (8PM EDT). One show still doesn't have a sponsor, another show gets a sponsor and new character names. Then typical Superman - Lois in trouble, Supes saves her - from dolls that go BOOM
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Fark-ready story: 9-year-old misses turn in 5K race, accidentally wins St. Francis Franny Flyer 10K
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
NTSB to investigate triple-fatal plane crash, which apparently involves crashing a plane and then necromantically animating a victim so they can be crashed two more times
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Police Union: This year's Christmas party will be at the Trump Hotel. Cops: "Only time I'm going there is when I'm getting paid"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Utah Daily Herald Extra)
 
 
 
Cuba asks for more butter and garlic as it battles a plague of giant snails that is sliming the country
source: heraldextra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The first rule of Streetbeefs Fight Club is that you do not talk about -- wait, come again? Oh, the Washington Post has a front page story about us? Well alrighty then
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Guy gets trampled and gored by bison at state park, takes a date to the same park, date gets gored. Ah, relationship goals
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Experimental German radar reportedly makes the U.S. Air forces F-35 even more useless, tracks the stealth jet ...from a pony farm
source: c4isrnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual wall sconce
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
WHAM makes washer and dryer donations to middle school after kids bullied for dirty clothes. No word on what they donated Last Christmas
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Virginia girl who claimed white classmates cut her dreadlocks admits she made the story up. Nigerian bodybuilders wanted for questioning
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stat News)
 
 
 
The flu shot might be mismatched this year. Next year they are going back to the Garanimals version
source: statnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Sure, you've had sex. But you haven't really made sweet sweet love until you've done it in a rainy British car park (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Judge rules that jury can consider Castle Doctrine if you stand your ground when entering an apartment that isn't yours and shooting its occupant
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
New laws going into effect in Florida: Texting while driving, makes sense. School hazing, yeah, reasonable. Child-like sex dolls? Huh
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Alexa, Tell Dildo full intensity
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Man takes "Grand Canyon Skywalk" too literally
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
Boobies
 
Free the Nipple in Utah? In your own home? That'll get you criminal charges
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Australian man goes to pick up some tractor parts, wins the lottery while he is waiting
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
You'll probably never experience this, but here's what it's like becoming an overnight millionaire
source: marker.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The 'hottest new' psychedelic in NYC is so hot it makes you cry a lot. Wait a minute, that doesn't sound like fun
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
You're all clear, Kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jihadists, auto-correction software, attack US training base at Baledogle
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Man who drove through Illinois mall charged with terrorism. Claims he was on a mission from God
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this man and woman at a computer
source: cs.auckland.ac.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Your Fark-ready headline of the day: Man who legally changed his name to "Sexy Vegan" arrested for sexually assaulting a dog
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Let's have a theme park where we use old rollercoasters from around the world that are no longer wanted. What could go wrong?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man shoots and kills burglar, promptly goes back to bed because Texas
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Abdullah Abdullah claims victory victory in Afghanistan Afghanistan
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I heard a rustling sound, then repeated banging; I thought I was being robbed," says terrified woman unaware her brother was trying to eat a Terry's Chocolate Orange in the next room
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Plastic straw ban goes into effect in Los Angeles, leaving some with nothing to grasp
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Deputy receiving award during ceremony gets confronted by the city commissioner who says he falsely arrested him
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Elementary school students find corpse in the woods, get told by staff it's a Halloween decoration. In the middle of nowhere. With no houses anywhere near. Good thing they haven't seen Stand By Me
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)