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Sun September 22, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Panama demonstrates one of the worst ways to use 26 tons of cocaine
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Bears repeating... and fighting
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
More like SCARE BnB...AMIRITE???
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Sorry, folks. Park's closed. Moose out front should have told you
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready story: Florida woman bites the testicles of Louisiana truck stop camel
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City of Seattle)
 
 
 
911: "You say there's a shooting in progress?" Robbers: "Yes, please go look over there"
source: spdblotter.seattle.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these simple match heads
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, move along. (Tanzanian Edition)
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Again people, if you're going to drive your car around town while carrying 24 pounds of weed and half an ounce of coke, make sure there are license plates attached
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Seven drug overdoses in Pittsburgh linked to orange wristbands, being in Pittsburgh
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this two-tone wall
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The essence of being male, distilled to its purest form
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Americanes Eunt Domus
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCJB Gainesville)
 
 
 
Well that escalated quickly
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Plumber who refused to charge a 91-year-old retired woman for services receives over $100,000 in donations, vows to continue helping those less fortunate with their plumbing problems
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
And the topic lighting up Twitter today is ... Geopolitical upheaval? Climate change? War? Nope, it's the Great Candy Controversy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Threaten to call ICE on your undocumented tenant? That'll cost you $17,000
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police are searching for a shooter who left six people wounded in downtown Indianapolis on Saturday night, which seems like a perfectly reasonable thing for police to be doing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tropical storm Karen expected to head toward Puerto Rico, your manager
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
On whining: "Research shows that whining peaks in children between the ages of 2 and 4, but every parent knows that it continues well into the Politics tab"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Six-year-old girl arrested for having in-school tantrum while black. Fark: not the only child arrested by the SRO that day
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this early morning aquatic adventure
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Eviction squad faces eviction
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
I guess it was time to (•_•) ( •_•)⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) change the baby
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Farewell to the world's greatest button shop
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The banana was not recovered and its whereabouts are unknown
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
No, you can't haz cheezburger. Not yours
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Walmart underestimates just how many people are willing to steal car seats to get a free $30 gift card
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boy brings his mother's menstrual cup to school for show and tell because he did not know what it was. Neither do the rest of us, kid
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Amtrak derailing dining cars
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 21, 2019
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Postman fired for gross misconduct, upheld at appeal for a) stealing mail, b) kicking aggressive dog or c) missing a delivery slot by one minute
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Colorado man bitten by black bear shot by hunting partner. Sounds like Colorado man is having a Florida man day
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
On Thursday, the Washington Monument reopened to the public after being closed for three years for, among other things, major repairs and restoration of the elevator. One guess as to what happened today
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sad elephant
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If vapes are outlawed, then only outlaws will have vapes
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
Marko Feingold, Austria's oldest Holocaust survivor, who made it out alive from Auschwitz and three other camps, dies at age 106. Suck it, Hitler
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNDU South Bend)
 
 
 
Protip: it's best to avoid putting a special needs student's desk in the bathroom. Especially if they have an autoimmune disorder
source: wndu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
American Airlines flight forced to make emergency landing because of "a security issue in the back." Terrorism? I guess you could say it was a high-jacking by a mu-ganja-din
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Do you remember the 21st of September?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this squash
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy; if a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If you've never visited the Florida Keys before, you might want to cross that off your bucket list sooner than later. Oh, and if you live there, well...sorry about that
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Pro-disease Karens bring their brand of idiocy to Maine, trying to fight its vaccination law
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Remember mom jeans, fanny packs, and oversized plaid blazers? Guess what's coming back in fashion this fall. Oh wait... it gets even worse
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop something in this Victorian gazebo
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
"I'm not a hero. I just feel they get a bum rap. They didn't ask for this life. They have a right to live. They have a right to be happy". Paging the hero tag to Caturday
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Because apparently this needs to be said: Please be smart and do not leave explosives lying around willy-nilly
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Altoona man meths up his hand with dynamite. Florida Man shudders
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
He loved weed. He loved Becky. Now they're dead
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Prettiest pest you'll ever see
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Well, he wasn't wrong
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 20, 2019
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers descend on California's capitol, calling it Nazifornia and singing "We Shall Overcome" while demanding the right to spread infectious cured diseases and indiscriminately kill children
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Do you know why I pulled you over, sir? It's not because you're black. By the way, are you?
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
DUI for NC BCBS CEO
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Whitey Bulger's family plans $200 million lawsuit because their mass murdering relative only lived to 89
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Expect many more Faces of Meth soon, it's making a big comeback in America
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
When life hands you leukemia, make lemonade. Eight-year-old girl sells lemonade to raise money to cure cancer, is now cancer free. Still no cure for diabetes
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Today Area 51 was stormed by 29,900 invisible people
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Drunken blouser from Rhode Island plows car into the Town Hall. Keep it classy North Smithfield
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Russia orders troops to the Middle East following attack on oil facility
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Walmart promises to only sell cigarettes proven to give you cancer
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this start of a reboot
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, President Kennedy proposed a joint mission to the moon, having apparently misheard his two principal advisers, Ralph Kramden and Snoop Dogg
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Look, sometimes there's just so much going on that you don't want to get up out of your chair, no matter what happens
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
"Disco pants and haircuts." "Baby clothes." "This place has got everything"
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
If you were stuck in a CT nursing home, you'd want to be on cocaine too
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ "I hear those things are awfully loud." "It glides as softly as a cloud." "Is there a chance it could get stuck?" "Not on your life, Floridian Schmuck" ♪
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Robbery victim wishes Morongo Casino would take crime more seriously, having apparently not noticed the name
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Some crimes can be difficult to solve, requiring the likes of a Sherlock Holmes, C. Auguste Dupin, or Poirot. And then there's the Case of Florida Man and the Stolen Trailer
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A Florida police detective joked that he would shoot up the police station if he didn't get a plum assignment, but didn't really make it sound like a joke. Now he's out of a job
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(El Paso Times)
 
 
 
The Secret Service would like to warn you - American money does not have Chinese or Russian writing on it, and if it says "For Motion Picture Use Only" it is only good if you feel like you're in a movie
source: elpasotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
Weeners
 
Argentine police seize a bunch of coked-up dicks
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hmm...let's see what passes for school lunch in Minnesota these days...oh my
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Iran warns of 'all-out war' in response to Saudi or American responses to their only partially-out war
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Typical Florida criminal. She steals a shirt and doesn't wear it. Or ANY shirt for that matter
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tiny patio view
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
American Airlines cancels flight due to: (A) Mechanical issues, (B) Weather issues, or (C) Because two Muslim men waved to each other and one of them had the nerve to double flush
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
You gotta know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, when to walk away, and when to run. And that 'run' part generally includes when the casino cameras catch you cheating them
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
Want to see how the 'Storm Area 51' thing goes, but don't want to get shot or step on a land mine? Good news, video games are here with all sorts of predictions
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Robots will soon be picking soft fruits, salads... wait is that cow getting a massage?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
More than 20 men equipped with sex toys and lubrication, were arrested in an Ohio child sex sting operation that netted a total of 104 suspects including a doctor a church youth director
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Like when that hobo clown raw-dogged your mom 9 months before you were born, crew member says Conception was unsafe
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Tengo la erección extraña noa derecha (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Saskatchewan Roughriders apologize for having the audacity to not have any say at all in commercial produced by Tim Hortons featuring Beyond Meat instead of real meat and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN WESTERN CANADA?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Nuclear foes won't have Three Mile Island to kick around anymore
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
College student shot in Sherwood forest, and not with an arrow
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Halloween 2019 sexy whatever costume season opens strong with a "sexy Mr. Rogers"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Indonesia politicians, unaware there's no sex in marriage, plan to outlaw sex outside marriage
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
At times, it is best to consider the randomness of fate, and say "There but for the grace of God go I, weaving back and forth across the road with my busload of other people's kids"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The Call of the Wild may be a siren song too great to resist, but the Call of the Florida Man is generally just drunken, vulgar, and ties up 911
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Scientists stunned by major Antarctica discovery - possible ramifications across the world. What this really means is most of us will be under water a lot faster than we thought (possible nsfw content on page)
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Accused serial flasher, 69, tells cops, "I am just an asshole. What can I say?"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
India's Vikram moon lander not expected to survive the 14-day lunar night, due to damage sustained on landing and the difficulty of getting it to understand tech support calls with that long of a delay
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear giant mattress tags
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The latest thing that will give you and your family CANCER: tap water. Eau the humanity
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Top scientist admits that a mystery object approaching us from deep space could be an ALIEN spacecraft that has hyper-intelligent beings looking to probe us. The Sun is there ...in his eyes
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Drunken man can't wait to get home to have boozy sex with another human, has boozy sex with cleaning cone at train station instead
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
They found The Highlander
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Canadian man who likes 'spontaneous and exotic stuff' pleads guilty to stripping naked at an aquarium and swimming completely nude in a shark tank
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You know who else wanted to get into Eva Braun's panties?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evening Express)
 
 
 
Man breaks both the law and the wind
source: eveningexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Tinder to launch a Choose Your Own Adventure mode, as opposed to their normal Choose Your Own Venereal Disease
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
And here are a bunch of idiots doing something called a "Naruto Run" at Area 51
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Someone is live streaming the raid on Area 51 and it's ***{carrier lost]***
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark and Schnitt)
 
 
 
ICYMI - this week's Fark & Schnitt podcast - still in beta as we figure it out - covers how to pronounce Ocasek, great moments in trademark filings inspired by Lebron's Taco Tuesday, and an unexpected followup to the sex working attorney from last week
source: podcasts.apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Oh. Mah. Gawd. Becky... *look* at her butt
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this open plan office
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Why airplane clappers are held in such scorn and derision by, well, everyone who isn't one
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
How is roaches fromed? (Tag is for TFA headline writer)
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
Boobies
 
Ft. Collins, Colorado ban on women going topless struck down by the the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals. Awkward: that territory also includes you, Utah
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
Weeners
 
They said my penis would die
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
In honor of today's reasonable discourse about the left lane law which requires slower traffic to move over for faster traffic without regard to the speed of either vehicle, we bring you the flare gun shot to the other motorist's neck. WARNING: Graphic content
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Today's swarm of insects showing up on weather radar: dragonflies
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
U.S. declares war on pignoli
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Aliens, in conjunction wth the North Vietnamese, the Double Reverse Vampires, and the Rand Corporation, but mostly the aliens, are still pilfering our bovine's genitals
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
New museum to open with child-friendly programmes for families and schools. Difficulty: Vagina Museum
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Go be high somewhere else
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 19, 2019
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Fourteen-year-old boy earns coolest nickname, Fark handle, after freak boating accident. "I can't believe I had an anchor in my head. Like, that's pretty crazy. My friends now call me the 'Anchorman' so that's kind of cool"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
School guardian, civilians hired to protect students, arrested for pawning county-issued Glock 17 handgun, magazines, body armor for gas money. Good thing he didn't need that gear on the job
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Colorado Parks and Wildlife would like to remind you that there are many ways to deal with an injured bobcat. Putting it in the backseat of your car, right next to your three-year-old-child, is not one of them
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida risk reward analysis: Great discount on food in listeria tainted store under active stop order by the state, or pay full price elsewhere
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Do you have a super soaker? Then the National Trust of Scotland has a job for you
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Case of the legs found in the Susquehanna river might be related to legless body found in Philadelphia. FYI the Susquehanna does not flow through Philadelphia
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Storm Area 51 crowds have started showing up. And by crowds, we mean a handful of guys with campers
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ceiling light fixture gazer
source: images.squarespace-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is... wait never mind. Someone was there and the tree landed on them
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Two people kidnap Patrick Mahomes from a McDonald's before wrecking their vehicle. Fortunately, Mr. Mahomes appears to be... hey, wait a minute
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Gang returns to the scene of the crime without noticing the blimp
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Horse of a different color
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Since 1970 there are 3 billion less birds to flip off
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ridiculously photogenic baby elephant
source: scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
So this new web extension allows you to upload your photo and it then classifies you based on computer algorithms? What could go wr.....oh dear
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Black Panther caught prowling rooftops of a French town. Klaw and Batroc the Leaper wanted for questioning
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Rubbing whiskey on a baby's gums to help with teething. New and stupid: Rubbing Fentanyl on a baby's gums to help with teething
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Man takes "once in a lifetime" photo of a great white shark in waters off Cape Cod. Photographer overheard yelling, "Smile, you son of a biatch!"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
San Francisco 1, Gentrification 0
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Petrified Delta passengers text their loved ones goodbye as their plane plunges 29,000 feet in seven minutes during terrifying emergency which left flight attendants begging no one to 'panic'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"Say, Captain...we went through the landing checklist, but I think we forgot a critical step." "Nah, we're fine. What's the worst that can happen?"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This wearable chair could change how we work and travel, get weird looks in public
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Poundland's x-rated penis selfie game shocks customers who seem to be unaware of the store's name (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Today's Millennial vs. Boomer study brought to you by the Brits: Under 35s most unhappy; Older people have lots more fun. Boomer-like typing detected
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Artist and protestor prescribes his own medicine, drops an 800-pound opioid spoon in front of the Johnson & Johnson HQ in New Jersey to protest prescription drugs' role in the opioid epidemic
source: expo.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
The American Airlines mechanic accused of sabotaging flight story has a new twist; ties to ISIS terrorists
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cuba's "sonic attack" weapon, the one that made diplomats ill and was used an excuse to end the U.S.-Cuba thaw? Turns out it was the pesticide being used to combat the spread of the Zika virus
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
That $10 billion Purdue Pharma settlement? Less than half is cash, the rest is the promise of future revenue from continuing to sell OxyContin
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Hurricane Dorian: "Well, I pretty much wiped the Bahamas off the map." Hurricane Humberto: "Hold my beer" Alabama: "Hey y'all"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Dog walker caught on camera drinking expensive bourbon. "If we didn't have the cameras in the house, we'd have no idea that he had his hands down his pants, his front, his back, touching all over the house, drinking out of our milk"
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
'Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum' it's Talk Like a Pirate Day
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Remember when we were kids, we'd skip school and do nothing? Nowadays kids are skipping school to protest lack of adult interest in fighting climate change, such as is happening tomorrow
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cheeky water tower
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Turns out that millennials aren't horny after all
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Tourists on double decker buses are really sticking it to NYC street signs
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Chinese spies are looking at your LinkedIn profile
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Republic of China sending gas masks to Hong Kong protesters, much to the chagrin of the Beijing government
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Weeners
 
National penis to reopen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Doctor, this toothache is making me feel blue"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Hawaii Civil Defense farks up a training exercise causing emergency sirens to go off. Again
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Hearse Fest has become so big, it has outgrown Hell. No, this is not a euphemism
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Helicopter chainsaw is Subby's Slipknot/Foo-Fighters cover band
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Spider-Man to be recruited into the UK police force. I'm sure I read that right
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Someone's been tagging objects near the ground with blue hearts. Cops haven't spotted any green clovers, yellow moons or yellow stars, but still hope they'll get lucky
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
An outbreak of a mosquito borne virus has the state of Michigan advising residents in eight counties to go inside, shut the door and stay there until the first frost
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 750: "Bird's the Word 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 18, 2019
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New residential building is so tall you can't even smell the urine from the streets below
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Hot love-letters start apartment on fire. Witnesses report letters were steamy, passionate and burning with desire
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mr. McFeely's Speedy Delivery just got speedier
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Why did a French burglar intentionally leave traces of DNA all over the crime scene so he would end up in prison? Simple, so he could watch a premium TV channel for free
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian hiker miraculously survives Australian hike. Almost made it over the Alps to Switzerland
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It was one thing to learn commercial fishing was exploiting workers, but et tu, Nutella?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Farking NOPE!
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Naked inmate bum-rushes guard while in jail. Yep, Florida
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A brewski a day could keep the 'beetus at bay, as if Farkers needed an excuse anyway
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Farrelly Brothers spotted in Ohio filming sequel to Kingpin
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
Mumps is back. If only there were a vaccination for that sort of thing
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Local reporter spends night in the UK's cheapest AirBNB - the back seat of a Nissan Juke. It's not news, it's KentOnline
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Great Boer Warriors
source: britishbattles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Community College in Springfield, MA advises students to stop licking the grass and eating dirt on the Quad, even if it is deliciously sweet due to all the lead contamination
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Star-Lord doesn't take kindly to people who refuse to drink from his bottle
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Police looking for clues after toddler found in Buffalo. Those little suckers will climb inside anything these days
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The BBC asks "Who's using drones in the Middle East?", concludes that the answer is "Everyone"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man upset about news coverage of Florida Man
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cool new back-to-school advertisement that will educate and thrill. Subby will check back as soon as he stops shaking from the last few seconds
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
If you are going to blame a "corn rake accident" for your wife's death after you killed her, best to leave these search terms out of your internet history: "organs in the body," "killing unfaithful women" and "what happens to cheaters in history"
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Queer Nuns getting squeezed out of Folsom Street Fair
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Why Baby Boomers' grandchildren will hate them." Wait, will hate? Like, something that hasn't happened yet?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Laundromat Lady
source: valpo.life   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Get a load of T. J. Hooker over here
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Newman heads for cover as Jerry strengthens into a hurricane
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Truck fails saving throw against gravity but not for lack of trying
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A stranger offers to pay for your cruise if you just pick up some suitcases from another stranger? Seems legit
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
The law says that a driver may not drive in the left lane if they know, or reasonably should know, that they are being overtaken by another vehicle traveling at a higher rate of speed
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Smelting plant asks neighbors to please ignore the mysterious blue-green fog that tastes like metal and corrodes their houses
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Christian health insurance organization asks its Mormon members to change religions or leave because LDS isn't Christian enough
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Pastors outraged after parishioners targeted by scams without even giving them a cut
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Nearly a dozen Virginia men report severe hypoglycemia after taking sexual enhancement pill. With helpful measuring tape in the video
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Most dangerous place to walk is Florida. Chewing gum at the same time possibly instantly lethal
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
China' new super stealthy hypersonic spy drone barely spotted in rehearsal for military parade. Obviously going too fast for most to see ..on the back of a flatbed truck
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Of course somebody had to ruin it for the queen's bar at Buckingham Palace
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Problem: your city has a "culture where people routinely speed on our streets." Solution: Lower speed limits even more. Fark: existing limits are 30 mph
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Second arrest made in connection to golden toilet theft at Winston Churchill's childhood home after police found something to go on
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Coffee shop with topless baristas turning heads, although you probably don't want a shot of cream with your espresso
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
"Many residents have voiced their opposition... citing issues like glare." City opposed to solar power because the solar panels are too shiny
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Busch Beer is working on cementing its status as the official unofficial beer of the state of Iowa after deciding to match donations to the University's Children's Hospital, collected by an Iowa State fan just hoping for a little extra beer money
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KERO 23 Bakersfield)
 
 
 
Jack-Jack in the box pops out unexpectedly in a Jack In the Box parking lot
source: turnto23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: "No Christmas trees before December" New, heartbreaking, hotness: "You put your tree up whenever you like, lady" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
You might need a new apartment when bats start biting you on the neck
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
After a string of migrant landings at Dover, attention-seeking idiots from Britain First start patrolling the beach with binoculars so they can alert the authorities if they see anything
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hurricane Imelda downgraded from dancing shoes to sneakers. Texas braces for a two-step. Alabama still confused
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Man rescues stray puppy with life-threatening illness, gets trashed on NextDoor for trying to raise money to pay the pup's bills
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Smart Streetlights in San Diego are watching you
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tree hugger
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
TIL my alma mater does service dog training, with students doing socialization and obedience work. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Looks like the "I'm a clean, thoroughbred, former cheerleader" defense won't keep this honky out of the DUI hoosegow
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Not to panic you, but disease experts say we are not prepared for a devastating outbreak of a flu-like illness which could kill 80 million people across the world in less than two days. Enjoy the rest of your two days
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Major political donor finally arrested after a third person ODs at his house
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Indonesia votes to eliminate child brides, raises minimum marriage age up from 16 to 19. Your turn, rest of the whole farking world
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Woman calls police after seeing lawyer with rifle on balcony. Lawyer claims he was just using BB gun to shoot beer cans. Maybe it's time to start talking about common sense lawyer control
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A study of 28 countries finds that America has the highest concentration of goddamned morons
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
I know, I know. You like the idea of owning a Sandy Hook or Columbine branded hoodie, but you don't want to seem like you're unaware of what happened there. Well, don't worry. These ones have pre-made bullet holes
source: someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
ΣΑΜ had been on double secret probation all along, it would seem
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
To be fully comfortable on their big day, engaged naturist couple is willing to pay servers and bartenders £30 an hour to serve nude wedding guests while stark naked themselves. The giggity economy rolls on (NSFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Subby didn't know what hell was until he read this article about conditions on fishing trawlers in the Pacific. Now he's gonna have nightmares for a long time. Enjoy your tuna salad sammiches, everyone
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man buys Hummer with stolen recycling funds, the equivalent of 300,000 bottles wasted
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Large Missouri farms are now protected from local health regulations. This law stinks
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Mummy Marauder" is the name of my Iron Maiden ska cover band
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Only in Montana: pair of grinning dudes peruse the merch at sporting goods store in search of new clothes, still wearing the hospital jammies they got while being treated for the grizzly bear attack they survived
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky woman stops for gas, finds stranger in the trunk of her car
source: wnky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 17, 2019
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Someone missed the class in Journalism 101 on writing headlines
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving comes early to Ann Arbor
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Millennials turn to Twitter to discuss their plans for retirement. It goes about as well as you think it does
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Republican Shoot lives up to its billing
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
"Hey Admiral, are we forgettin' somethin'?" "Like what?" "I dunno, somethin' important?"
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"The deputies searched the apartment and found two partially naked women in the master bedroom." The tag tells you that it's not the fun kind of police call
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Canada arrests former spy chief for stealing covert information. One can only assume maple syrup recipes and moose breeding guidelines
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Another problem with SoCal freeways is drivers don't know how to share the road with naked cross-wielding church vandals
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
World's largest ball of lint to be set on fire in Michigan. Just to be clear, this is not a metaphor for Flint, the Lions, the UAW, Jim Harbaugh, or Betsy DeVos
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Who's gonna drive you home tonight?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
California reporter explains on air that she tried to 'reach out' to a man killed in a police chase. He was unavailable for comment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this miniature driver
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
FARC are about to cause serious mayhem in South America. Which everyone here already knew (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
No, you're not a monster, just inattentive
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
Iowa Supreme Court to review murder conviction of Mose Schrute cosplayer
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Father helps wife deliver firstborn in bathtub at home after hospital sends them home. "Everyone that we showed the picture to was like, 'Wait ... why is there shampoo in the background?'"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dumbass)
 
 
 
Shirtless man who tries to fight grizzly bear only winds up paying $4,000 fine, but Darwin will surely balance the books one day
source: airdrietoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Daily low-dose aspirin, which was sort of good for you and then sort of bad for you, is now sort of good for you again. Especially if you're trying to follow medical news without developing some sort of anyeurism
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
Merriam Webster adds more than 530 new words and phrases to its dictionary, including "free solo," "deep state," "dad joke," and the nonbinary pronoun "they"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one: a doctor, a church man, and a firefighter walk into a police sex sting
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Carson moves to ban gun sales, possibly following witty banter with Ed McMahon
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Buddhist monk and tiger
source: static.emol.cl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
SCENE: Beijing, China. A somber man stands up: "Gentlemen. We face a crisis of unprecedented proportions. It is time . . . to open the Strategic Pork Reserves"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Today's hour-long Manhattan traffic jam was for a good cause, indistinguishable though it was from any other hour-long Manhattan traffic jam
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Godzilla?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wanna buy Anthony Bourdain's chrome duck press, steel and meteorite chef's knife, or collection of obscure oil paintings? Gather up your money and help fund a kid's scholarship to CIA
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would you like to play a game?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
♫ "Redd up boppli? Ich bin die Jacob, and this buggy is rutsching around while rumspringa up in this barn. ♫ ACH JAH, ACH JAH, ACH JAH". ♫
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida deputies searched for a missing boy with autism for hours. Their bloodhound found him in 28 minutes
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Eighteen-year-old showed a coworker a video of her new AK-47, then said something about shooting 400 people for fun. Promptly reported and arrested. So we got that going for us
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Someone flew a plane under a bridge in 'dangerous stunt', but hey you only live once, right?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy confirms UFO videos are real, never should have been released. So... space aliens are real
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man fired for farting gets his own documentary
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Old and busted: spray painting racial slurs. New Florida: spray painting the word 'slur'
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not News: Montreal man has $800 in rolled change. Fark: His bank won't deposit the money
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Christian protesters have spotted a musical that's just too darned sexy for their liking. Difficulty: The musical's from 1973 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Woman gets DUI after showing up to pick up boyfriend from his DUI
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The strike on Saudi oil facilities just proved that ballistic missiles and traditional air defense systems are obsolete, and pretty much anyone with enough money can attack whatever they want. Sleep tight
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Semen explosion leaves a mess for farmers who'll need to come up with an alternative
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Caption this meeting
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you've been waiting for a huge Nutella covered waffle, the Indiana State Police hope you'll accept this portion of I-94 instead
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Morning America)
 
 
 
"Cheerio" __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ "Bonjour" __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ "Cheerio" __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ "Bonjour" __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ __/\o_ "Cheerio"
source: goodmorningamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
*crash* .... "Recalculating"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
"Here come the judge, here come the judge ... if you witnesses won't stop talking about sexual partners. You're making me horny" (nsfw content on page)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Latest forecast shows that Humberto threatens Bermuda and parts of Alabama
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cokie Roberts unable to live in a world without respect for great journalism
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Fan with sign asking people to send beer money to his Venmo account gets on College GameDay. Winds up with thousands of dollars and decides to donate it to children's hospital. 'A lot of Clemson people donated. I guess they like Busch Light, too.'
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Y'know how you see all those videos of free runners on high buildings and say, "Why do I never hear of them falling off?" Well... (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Morning America)
 
 
 
I'll take "game show host undergoing chemotherapy again" for $500, Alex. Fark cancer
source: goodmorningamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Russian LGBTQ activist killed after being listed on gay-hunting website. In other news, there are gay-hunting websites
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
We've got music, we've got movies, and we've got stupid restaurant ideas on the Fark Weird News Quiz. September 8-14 Plumbing Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop math now includes 12.5-gallon mason jars
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The US Army hits its enlistment goal by moving the posts
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Leonardo Dicaprio: "I have an Academy Award and three Golden Globes." Some random guy: "I have a chocolate bar that's older than your girlfriend" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Growth Op)
 
 
 
"What I learned attending a cannabis and sex workshop". Article picture checks out
source: thegrowthop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this podium
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's like raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain on your wedding day
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
News: Students complain that school-issued iPads have bugs. Fark: Bedbugs
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Male shot in Balzac
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Looks like there's gonna be one less windowless van in the MIT parking lot
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You're not a very good shoplifter if you get thwarted by a motorized shopping cart
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Your bomb-sniffing dog wants shawarma
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania has been invaded by spotted lanternflies. Not to worry, they're going to import Chinese lanternfly-killing wasps. Shipments of wasp-eating needle snakes still pending over tariff dispute, gorillas on backorder
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
SeaWorld finds solution to its "Blackfish" problem
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Toxic pit charges you an admission fee. Surprisingly, this doesn't involve New Jersey
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 16, 2019
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
But was his dick still out?
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
. . . Keeping time, time, time / in a sort of Runic rhyme / to the binbinabulation that so musically spins / from the Florida men hiding in the bins
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Aesop's fables for our times: "The Boy Who Cried Active Shooter"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man picks up unknown furball of something, finds out it's hundreds of creepy-crawlies of NOPE (possible nsfw content on page, definite NOPEs on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Lawmaker discussing pigeon poop problem gets unexpected support from pigeon
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Russia, there was an explosion at a government lab that houses some of the world's deadliest viruses like Ebola and smallpox, but even if all the other glass in the facility shattered, the Kremlin assures us it's safe, comrades
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And these blast points, too accurate for Iranians. Only Imperial American drones are so precise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this highwire act
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Evacuation orders lifted from areas near Horseshoe Fire, proving that close really does count for horseshoe fires
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
The Triple Play of Paul's Memory Bank - OTR edition - continues with a little change in the order. Episodes of Stan Freberg, My Favorite Husband and Superman. TuneIn at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCJB Gainesville)
 
 
 
"They stole Reed's cannabis." Well at least his weed wasn't taken. Who talks like that?
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The propane in Maine rains flames upon the slain
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
127 mile scenic tour to watch rutting elk, much more picturesque than watching the mating habits of Shriners but you don't get to see the elk drive around in miniature cars
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Police observed the suspect was standing strangely with clenched butt cheeks. The suspect then produced a "bullet" containing meth from his rectum
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So just why DOES the US hide oil in Louisiana salt mines?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
DUI Biking turns to sex in back of police cruiser. Yep, it's Florida
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It is usually not a good idea to climb stuff when you are drunk, especially power poles
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Suspected Daytona Beach serial killer may have focused on the wrong half of his criminal justice degree
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guide)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: put this sign in an appropriate location
source: cdn10.bigcommerce.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indianapolis prosecutor breaks open a can of whoop-ass on the cop who sucker punched a 15-year-old high-school student
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1932, Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest the British interference in Indian civilization. After six days, the British relented, possibly out of fear that his words were backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Los Angeles celebrates 'El Grito de Dolores," which for those of you who don't speak Spanish, translates to 'The Grito from Dolores'
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clickhole)
 
 
 
Oh. My. McGOD
source: lifestyle.clickhole.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dead roaches, rodents found in school cafeteria, health inspector says, which is frighteningly unsanitary and nearly as gross as the fish stick tacos or beefaroni
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The average American lives only 18 miles from their mom. Subby prefers to live 18 miles from your mom
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Police prank another officer by tossing fake snek in car. Hilarity ensues. (with video)
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Look, no matter how impressive it is, you can't just go slinging your meat around in public
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Horrified kids in need of major eye bleaching after witnessing newly widowed woman, 57, and man, 64, doing oral sex on packed rush-hour train (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Captain Jack Sparrow look-alike missing after last seen on paddle board. Police spokesperson states the missing person is, without a doubt, the worst paddle boarder they've ever heard of
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to experience a nuclear explosion of your town in VR, now's your chance
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Suspects escaped with an undetermined number of fleas
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR explores the one true American anthem: Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. ""It's like the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' of, like, middle school ... You have to know it. Everyone hates to love it"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Home security camera confirms what we suspected: Cougars are on the prowl in DC's Georgetown
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Fire lookouts, "Bring with them a sense of understanding and the ability to help frame up and communicate what all of this looks like - the big picture that you definitely don't get with a camera." And now robots will replace them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Creepy unmarked school bus recorded trying to pick up kids at bus stops
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It's like your dad blowing up his house on your wedding day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Behold the face of Satan, in utero
source: washfm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Inside the kooked-up Flat Earth conference where conspiracy theorists are trying to build a rocket program to "expose government lies." Let the tin-foil flow
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Instagram model makes up to £80k-a-year for pictures of her 6.5-inch tongue. Looks like she has life licked (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman runs marathon in three hours pushing three children in a stroller. In other news, subby still hasn't crawled out of bed and isn't sure where his pants went to
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Albanian bunker
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man gets new car, but the number plate sucks. Or is awesome depending on your tastes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
This story has everything: Hamilton, Q (Anon, but not that one), 1.5M for PS to HS, non-gendered bathrooms, political correctness, white guilt, standardized testing, integrated public schools, the effects of the 2016 election on children. And more
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When they came for the candy-flavored electronic cigarettes I said nothing, because I wasn't some candy-flavored electronic cigarette smoking weirdo
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Purdue Pharma: 1. Make billions of dollars fueling the opioid crisis 2. File for bankruptcy 3. Profit
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHG Panama City Beach)
 
 
 
Aftermath of Hurricane Michael has caused A. Homelessness B. Insurance complaints C. Infusion of lizards
source: wjhg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVN Reno)
 
 
 
You're right, no human being would stack cars like this
source: ktvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Call of Duty gamer who solicited fatal "swatting" call sentenced to 15 months outside his mom's basement
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
Lime Scooter vs Tesla in the most electrifying crash of the weekend
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Florida man tries selling 2002 Mercury for $125,000 on craigslist, tries again on Car Export America for $128,000. Currently still available on both. Bugatti Veyron badges included
source: robbreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Being a Boy Scout sure seems different now than when I was a kid
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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