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Sun September 08, 2019
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Philadelphia Eagles build room for people with sensory issues so that they can get away from disturbing sensory inputs, like Eagles fans
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Tropical Storm Humberto may be headed to the southern Bahamas
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nintendo Life)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Design box art for a hypothetical Fark video game
source: images.nintendolife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
No cure for cancer, but we know chicken is a root cause of it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Clearly, pot, shrooms, acid and coke are gateway drugs to texting while driving
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop baby flynoceros
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Did the front fall off? No, just a door
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Germany expands coal mining to meet its energy needs ... because the greener-than-thous didn't want nuclear
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
How did this happen? Hmm...let me guess...because they're farking idiots? Ever consider that?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this phone conversation
source: bunewsservice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Some of the last of the dunk tank clowns has a sad clown face. SAD
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this watchful eye
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: At the library
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eastern Daily Press (UK))
 
 
 
Paperboy finds customer in driveway, doesn't demand two dollars
source: edp24.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
If you've memorized the credit card details of 1300 people, best not to have your fraudulent purchases delivered to your home address
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattleites hunker down for largest thunderstorm to strike the Puget Sound area in years. Tomorrow we will rebuild
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Boy gets bullied at school for his homemade University of Tennessee shirt. University of Tennessee: "We got this covered, fam"
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Last year, the Six Flags Over Georgia train burned. Today, the train crashes off the track. Sir Topham Hatt says "I don't care. I got mine"
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man gets strike at bowling alley
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York City recently hosted its first rodeo
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A bunch of Jet Skiers interrupted fist fights with their step-dads to save 100 people from flood waters in the Bahamas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
"Bank Error in Your Favor - Collect $120,000" is not a valid defense to felony theft charges
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
Boobies
 
Your longtime Canadian girlfriend is busy fighting topless gender inequality in yoga classes. I know, right, we can't see pict --- Wait Yes we can. (NSFW)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Police searching for detergent thief that tried to make a clean getaway
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 07, 2019
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Overwhelmed by the thought of a Category 2 hurricane hitting Halifax, a crane uses a building under construction as a fainting couch (with video)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
That oil tanker that Iran double pinky super swore was absolutely 100% not smuggling oil into Syria has been caught smuggling oil into Syria
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon man builds dog poop bomb to convince friend to return tools. Florida man nods and takes notes
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(realestate.com.au)
 
 
 
So let's have a look (click). The rooms are a decent size (click). The kitchen looks up to date (click). Well-maintained yard (click). WHAT THE FARK???
source: realestate.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The latest thing you're doing wrong? Using wet wipes, and your ignorance could kill us all
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wavwax)
 
 
 
Photoshop Audrey, Seymour, and Audrey II
source: wavwax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Add "having a seizure after a car accident while black" to the list of justifications for a beatdown and tazing
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozarks First)
 
 
 
Did you hear the one where the state of Missouri is giving away NINE bridges for free?
source: ozarksfirst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Lie about child porn on a man's phone and he dies from the stress of being charged? That's a lawsuit for you, Target
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this kicked back kayaker
source: twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRBL Columbus)
 
 
 
Elementary school students can now rock 'n roll with new wheelchair swings
source: wrbl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teachers lock out students and call police after students stage a protest over gender neutral uniforms
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Seattle-area police department tweets about "suspicious vehicle" that was a mobile In-N-Out food truck
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Welcome to the United States. Here's your flag, your hamburger, and the paranoid airport employee who called the police because you're "Asian," then caused a mass panic when she screamed "EVACUATE, EVACUATE!" God bless America
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption this Greek yell
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Good
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
CDC: Don't kiss any cocks in your back yard
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gibbon)
 
 
 
Photoshop this primate activity
source: assets-natgeotv.fnghub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UC Santa Barbara)
 
 
 
Cared for by many, but owned by no one. Welcome to Caturday
source: news.ucsb.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Guru Ozen, who claimed to be the successor to fake guru Osho after his spirit entered him, turns out to be another fake. Guru Orly yet to comment
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Residents complain to TV station when "controversial business" opens in their neighborhood. Is it a strip bar, swingers club, nudist colony, sex toy shop of horrors? Nope, bail bondsman
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stuck Guy)
 
 
 
Myrtle Beach Jeep: "That was a bonehead move." Outer Banks truck: "Hold my beer"
source: obxtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian anthem rewritten to better reflect nation's history and culture. "Boot Him Again, Bruce, He Cheats At Knifey-Spooney" surprisingly not the new title
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you are the Domino's employee that is in charge of taking money from the store to the bank each night, there might be some questions when nothing ever arrives at the bank
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Martha's Vineyard Times)
 
 
 
I've had it with these MV skunks on this MV plane
source: mvtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 06, 2019
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Vintage warbird decides it's time to join the relief effort
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Climate Depot)
 
 
 
Forget banning straws and cheeseburgers; cannibalism is how we'll save the climate
source: climatedepot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
Legalizing marijuana leads to serious crime
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Thirteen-year-old boy with GoPro spots submerged car and informs cops. In other news, not-so-sharp Mounties have a 13-year-old suspect in a 27 year old cold case
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Good news everybody. After Dorian, residents of the Bahamas have access to free oil - just suck it up off the ground. Wait that's not good news
source: earther.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Residents from Ocracoke, a small island off the Carolina coast three feet above sea level, are trying to break the world record for a collective Darwin award
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
The CDC is asking you dumb kids and everyone else to stop vaping. Like, now. Like, entirely
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India joins the exclusive rank of nations having extra-terrestrial crashes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hoser)
 
 
 
Your overly Canadian story of the day
source: bnnbloomberg.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just when you thought the anti-vaxxer movement couldn't get any more insane, along come the pet anti-vaxxers
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Pacific Ocean readies sequel to 'The Blob'
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in History, in 1915, the first tank was produced for battle, allowing Britain to finally get their Little Willie stuck in a dirty trench
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trade war? Yawn. Civil discord and impending armed conflict? Meh. White Claw shortage? SHIAT JUST GOT REAL, YO
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Twenty-six pounds of meth hidden in a gas tank look an awful lot like a large order of burritos
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cup and ball toy
source: images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Blind father: "He ain't heavy, he's my disabled son and I'm carrying him out of danger in the Bahamas during Hurricane Dorian"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Bed bugs? Just have a smoke and burn the house down
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
News anchor does not want to hook up with you for random sex, yes the internet has lied to you
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jury acquits one and deadlocks on another of the two men criminally charged with negligence over the fire that made the name of the Oakland art space, "the Ghost Ship" entirely too apt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Le coq reste debout
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
College students try to hack the IRS to get Donald Trump's tax returns; just barely avert global thermonuclear war thanks to mad tic-tac-toe skills
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Is the 'Euro model' for tracking hurricanes really better than USA, U-S-A, UUUU-ESSSS-AAAAYY?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Scientists develop the opposite of what Keith Richards has done to himself
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
If you listened carefully as Dorian slammed into the Bahamas, above the howling winds and crashing waves, you could distinctly hear the cry of "Suuuuucccck it, Trebeeeeek"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Never wrestle with a mountain lion. It's a cheater"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mobile computer
source: scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Strip club guidance booth raid in Japan ends with police seizing 440 pounds of raw fish
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Canadian Hurricane Centre has issued hurricane watches for Nova Scotia, Alabama, Prince Edward Island and southwestern Newfoundland
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
I knew a pint in London was expensive, but £55,000 is a bit much. Fark: of course it was an IPA
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Possible legal defense strategies during the sentencing phase of your trial: A) Show remorse, B) continue to claim innocence, Florida) throw urine in the prosecutor's mouth
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
*somebody lights cigarette* Pilot: AAAH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEEEEEE *VREEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM*
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
New Osaka pop-up "praise" bar has theme of good-looking bartenders who specialize in doling out earnest praise after identifying good traits about customers who come in for a drink or two
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida Man runs the bingo card with racism, guns, nudity, mental illness, drugs, alcohol and a goofy mugshot. Be sure to read far enough down so you don't miss the part where he was arrested for swimming into the middle a speedboat race
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
FDA and CDC issue a warning not to touch pig ear treats, or give them to your dog. Pigs feet still okay
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Car crashes into dollar store. Damages estimated at several dollars
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
ATM stolen from restaurant by thieves who clearly never watched "Breaking Bad"
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Hong Kong's protesters unleashed their most potent weapon yet: Catholic schoolgirls deployed in full "Red Rover" formation
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
NOAA buoy 41004 got the ride of its life yesterday as Dorian's eye passed directly overhead, and yes, there are webcam photos
source: cliffmass.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Final double-decker section of Seattle's viaduct coming down today, instead of 'in an earthquake' as everyone expected
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption this family movie night
source: live.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Let's just save this as a template for future headline submissions: [Attorney or Attorneys] General in [state or states' names] investigating Facebook for [alleged criminal act]
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This is why you don't bring just a glass bottle to a road rage fight
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Air Force practices firing phosphorous rockets in the desert ahead of Area 51 event, which is probably just a crazy coincidence
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Owner of famous Jeep stranded in Hurricane Dorian's waves will never lend anything to his dumbass cousin ever again
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australian woman abused for years by her father finally gets her day in court. So do several of the 2,500 personalities she created to deal with the trauma
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
The consummate criminal always has a backup plan. In this case, it was calling for a ride when the getaway vehicle wouldn't start. In the driveway. Of the house they had just burglarized
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"At the entrance they display a picture of a Nazi grandpa.... Sadly desire to visit this mountain region has disappeared completely" is not the review you want for your hotel, so better sue the guest for libel and defamation
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
An Amelia Earhart statue was supposed to arrive in US Capitol decades ago, where did it go?
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
Boobies
 
Strip club becomes boner hotel. Oh bona fide hotel. There is a vas deferens between those
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists unveil a new Breathalyzer ... for weed
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these straight pride men and their parade flag
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rare two-headed timber rattlesnake named Double Dave found in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, found by Dave and Dave
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Plastic surgery addict who spent over $500K to look like Kim Kardashian finally has moment of clarity (NSFWish)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Des Moines attorney unveils her life as a prostitute and openly discusses her pro boner work
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
And now for a sobering dose of Real News. Bahamas death toll expected to be devastating, potentially in the thousands, based on missing persons reports, with another 70,000 just days away from life threatening conditions
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
If Auntie Em had a doorbell cam
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
News: Owners of the Conception invoke admiralty law to limit wrongful death claims to the value of the remains of the ship, which is a total loss with zero value. WTFark: Which also protected the Titanic's owners. Behold, the power of the gold fringe
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Dead rat soup press conference
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Remember when Nashvillians formed a human chain to block ICE Agents? Those same two Agents are now just shooting at suspects who don't comply
source: fox17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jewish death row inmate in Texas was called a "goddamn k***" by his trial judge
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Mugawas
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, your catch of the day
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Alaska cancels Canadian ferry due to lack of Mounties. Dudley Do-Right, where are you?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Man calls police to demand return of "prestige weed" they "stole" from him
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Army has two generals that are sisters for the first time. Bonus CSB: They're from subby's hometown
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 05, 2019
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Woman orders iPhone from online seller, ends up with box containing two bars of soap. At least she will be able to Dial and reach further
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Something in Cheverly Maryland stinks. Article to the left, suggestions to the right
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Walgreens, on the corner of happy and not shot in the head
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Burning Man's sordid aftermath. Or onset. Or middle act
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Commuters suffer transportation delays thanks to buses bogged down by congestion, and limited by shortage of drivers and unreliability. News: School buses. Fark: Parent proclaims "I continue to feel powerless in the face of this system"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Disney World temporarily closed due to the hurricane, now reopened with few lines. The mouse out front should have told you
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Staff of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has decided to donate the prize money they won for the Pulitzer they were awarded for their coverage of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting to the Tree of Life Synagogue to help it rebuild
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Municipal judge refuses to let the facts get in the way in refusing to dismiss a speeding ticket
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
USA USA USA no longer No.1, now 47th best place to live in the world
source: uk.finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop a nasty end to this SOB that was eating my tomatoes
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
The FBI and the bank robber both have strong, but diametrically opposite, opinions here
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
More reasons to not taunt the dynamite monkeys: they 'can tell you to shut up' according to linguistic experts (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Yes, honey, I know you need an MRI. I'll schedule it for you just as soon as I find a good Groupon for one
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"We're gonna need a bigger hovercraft"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you lost a crosswalk in Union Township, NJ this morning, local police would like to speak to you
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Connecticut man: I didn't kill that guy or that guy. Judge: 100 years in prison for you. 10 years later police ask him if he killed a third guy. Yep. I did kill that guy. That was me
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Porn has a magic condom, but it has limits. "There's some things you can't do," cautions Pam, "like pulling out the d$@ and slapping it on the bottom's a%$. It will be obvious they are wearing a condom"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Doctors discover the cause of recent vaping deaths. Turns out vaping is safe, vitamins are killing people
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man claiming to be Hitler's last living descendant arrested for kissing 13-year-old. The Master Race, ladies and gentlemen
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Feds grill captain of Conception over errant seamen. Hopefully he has a plan B
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop an Absolut Vodka print ad that didn't make publication
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Suddenly, chickens
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
We have our first confirmed "deep fake" heist. Thieves apparently used voice-mimicking software to impersonate the CEO of an English company, and called the managing director of the company to order him to wire $240,000 to an account in Hungary
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Goddammit, that's not what we meant by El Nino
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
"Man who was ejected from World Series of Poker for nudity and shoe-throwing arrested on terrorism charges." Can't improve on that one
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Gee, France, that's not racist at all
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Uh oh, look out, we got another chicken sandwich over here
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
Weeners
 
Man opens can of baked beans to find 'bean juice and only one bean'
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Someone drove their Jeep out onto the beach in the middle of a hurricane to see how far they could take it. A: this far
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
When life gives you lemons, let's hope it's not because a train has rammed into your citrus truck killing one and injuring dozens
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Authorities issue high risk warning for rip currents, Guidos along Jersey Shore
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Jefferson Davis Highway in Arlington County is now Richmond Highway so if you've a date on Jeff Davis Hwy she'll be waiting on Richmond Hwy. Why did Jefferson Davis highway get the works? You know damn well why
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
100 year old woman celebrates her birthday by finally tackling Blue Job. "Try anything once at least," she said. Wait I read that wrong
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Buried lede of the day: They make shirts out of collards?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Boobies
 
You've got your A's, your B's, your C's, and your L's. They're the biggest, but not for long
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pupil excluded from classes on first day of term for wearing trousers that showed too much ankle. How much ankle? A whole sock-covered inch, the harlot
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Australian multi-millionaire breaks NYC harbor etiquette, parks his 240-foot dounchenozzler megayacht right in front of Lady Liberty for over a month and blocks everyone's view just because it's free
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption one of these women
source: i.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Mystery Solved. We now know how the hole in the ISS was made: The Robot did it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
She-Hulk no want ten dollar hold on credit card. SHE-HULK SMASH puny gas station
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Fans in Wrigley Field bleachers make 'beer cup snake' Thankfully not a euphemism
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It is no longer a crime to refuse to help a police officer in California. In other news, until today it was a crime to refuse to help a police officer in California
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Explore)
 
 
 
Watch Dorian pass along the Carolina's coast live from Frying Pan Shoals' webcam. Kevin still flying proudly
source: explore.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
Charleston SC flooded, National Shrimp & Grits Strategic Reserve in peril
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
More proof that jogging is bad for you
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Crooks hold up Little Caesars, steal only a single pizza
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Want to help in Bahamas disaster relief? Good. Here's what to donate with exceptions like weight loss drinks, chandeliers, prom gowns, pigs
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: In the mood for some aural pleasure?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Well, that's a shocker
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Separated sock, once a great mystery, returns to solve a 30 year old cold case. "Authorities said the case was built on new investigative tools, including photo-enhancing technology" Hey. That actually is a thing?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVZ Bend)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just another reefer madness scare story, correlation doesn't equal causation, ooga-booga, move along
source: ktvz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If you're trying to keep your parents' skull after they die, forget about it, it's nearly impossible to get permission to decapitate and de-flesh a relative's remains under US law. Also what the hell is wrong with you?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(🤓)
 
 
 
Photoshop this furry peeper
source: media-mbst-pub-ue1.s3.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Coffee is the gift that keeps on giving and can prevent lots of health issues. The latest thing it can do for us? Prevent gallstones. Wait, drink how much now?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
They were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
The wild horses of the Outer Banks won't evacuate. They have a special trick to survive hurricanes - 'butts to the wind'
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Sure trees grow in Brooklyn and all, but there's a tomato growing in NYC's East River and no one can explain why
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Euractiv)
 
 
 
Cash is king. I once bought a beer in Austria, just to drink it without my health insurance trying to watch me die
source: euractiv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Enough with all the kissing
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China to release emergency pork reserves after losing 100 million pigs to swine fever. In other news, subby isn't the only one with pork reserves
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Spring back from injury (graphic image warning)
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
*insert Storm Her Area 51 jokes here* NSFW, probably
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You don't win friends with salad
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Cops looking for couple who vandalized ancient Native American site. What evidence do the cops have? Genius couple posted photo of themselves on Instagram
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The only excuse for your car to be left unattended at a gas pump is if the card reader is broken
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Deep State and Reptilian Shadow Government controlled by the Illuminati deals Alex Jones another blow
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 748: "This Contest Theme is Under Construction". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 04, 2019
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Way to go Florida Man.. Way to go
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to American Critics: "Come at me, bro"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Family's easyJet flight gets delayed, so dad does what any good dad who's an off-duty easyJet pilot would do, steps up and flies the stranded plane himself
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
I'll have that road traffic accident with a slice of lemon and a boat load of tonic
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Investigation light on details due to first rule of Geriatric Fight Club
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How can a woman make you a millionaire? This answer and more are on beer bottles the brand is now apologizing for
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
They're going to pave hell, put up a parking lot
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man from Normal anything but
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cadets
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Boy who was thrown from Mall of America balcony is bouncing back. Oh wait, what did I just type. Siri do not submit fark it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Your euphemism for the day is "actively engaged"
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Israel claims to have found a Hezbollah missile plant, possibly like the BBC's famed spaghetti trees or the USA's Dubya Bush
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
What was that noise dear? Oh, nothing, just a random drunken marine eating our food in the kitchen. He told me to go back to bed. Night night
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Big boss Putin and his Russian military shows off world's biggest self-propelled nuke mortar ...dusted off from the 1970s (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
A strong hurricane can blow, but it rarely actually washes up blow
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Helpful list of 'What to do if you encounter a cougar' includes making yourself look larger, maintain eye contact, possibly let them buy you a drink
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Playing dead when the landlord comes for the rent only works if you're a possum
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Presidents
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
The tide was so high in Florida that a manatee swam into a back yard
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
In case you ever wanted to break into a nuclear power plant, one just locked out all its guards over a union dispute
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTN Dayton)
 
 
 
Roller coaster stolen from Ohio fairgrounds. Wait - a roller coaster?
source: wdtn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
That's right, it's Burning Man Missed Connections time again, get the lowdown on all that you missed ..and apparently what the participants missed too
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
These airline carry-on restrictions are just getting out of hand. You can't even put a baby in a carry-on bag anymore
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you have been looking for free half empty vials of blood and lots of syringes, this is the beach for you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Two pastors ask their arguing wives to bury the hatchet. "Let me get my gun," says one. (with strange, big hair goodness)
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Little green army men toys to finally be joined by little green army women
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In case you needed a before-and-during graphic of Grand Bahama Island to understand just how much of it was impacted by Hurricane Dorian, here you go. Oh, and holy shiat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'Here you see the stainless steel kitchen, with island. And through that door is the three car garage. This room could be a nursery, or as you can see from the previous tenant, a drug lab.'
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR's list of the 2019 Toronto Film Festival movies it's most excited about. Wait, I don't see any superheroes. What is this I don't even
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Vienna named most livable city. Virginians seen scratching their heads in confusion
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
$17 commute Wednesday morning set a record for toll lane rates along I-85 express lanes in Atlanta
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Caption this woman selling rotisserie chickens at the first-ever Costco store in China
source: cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle wants residents to vote online for how to spend city budget. Hopefully they're gonna be happy with a giant golden penis statue in Pike Place Market, 'cuz that's what they're gonna get
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 8 Idaho Falls)
 
 
 
World's tallest geyser in Yellowstone continues to break eruption record. Can someone help Subby out with a penis joke here?
source: localnews8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Sure you can learn about the American Revolution but there is nothing else to do at the Liberty Bell and Gettysburg is boring, nothing like the movie
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1886, Apache leader Geronimo surrendered to U.S. troops, formally signaling the end of the Indian Wars and earning his spot in history as they guy who was yelled at by people jumping out of planes
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If there's a dog whistle for the woo contingent, Marianne Williamson momentarily forgot hers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Man parks his mini-car in his kitchen to keep it from being blown away by Dorian
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Somebody poked the big bear in the Ocala National Forrest. He mad. Don't poke the big bear, you won't like him. Should have read the rules posted on the sign out front
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Mexico: glad we didn't get hit by that terrible hurricane Dorian. Tropical storm Ferdinand: Sostenga mi cerveza
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan becomes the first state to ban flavored e-cigarettes. So now you won't have to fight your way through clouds of bubble-gum scented smoke to enjoy the aroma of smog and damp wolverine pelts
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMJ Youngstown)
 
 
 
"Mom, I'm home from college...SURPRISE" Mom: *BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG*
source: wfmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
Headline: The 5 chores Americans hate and fight over the most. Burying the lede: Over 1/3 said they'd give up alcohol and 1/5 said they'd give up sex forever - FOREVER - if it meant never having to do chores again
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Tabloid magazines, tabloid TV, and tabloid fodder are all in the Fark Weird News Quiz August 25-31 Fox Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaping sheep
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Peruvian hairless dogs roam Lima's pyramids and regain their place in Peruvian culture. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The hellish future of Las Vegas in the climate crisis: 'A place where we never go outside'
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Awkward is discovering your husband is really your cousin after buying him a DNA test kit for his birthday
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dorian is the second most powerful Atlantic storm in modern recorded history, behind only Hurricane Allen in 1980. See? The 80s were the best ever
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Please keep it in your pants, America
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Semi-trailer carrying 36,000 pounds of cheese catches fire on Interstate 39. First responders say by the time they arrived, there was nothing left but de-brie
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Texas: We can't control guns, but we can control unsolicited dick pics
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Climbing mountains has gotten so old and busted that you have to abandon exercise equipment on top to get any attention
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Baseball dying thanks to a) millennials, b) soccer, c) basketball, 4) rising tariffs on Chinese-made goods needed to play the game
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Daffodil hill closed indefinitely. Blueberry hill still available for thrills
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Guns don't kill people, loopholes kill people
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 03, 2019
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Want to stop high school students from cheating on tests? Simple, just make them all wear cardboard boxes on their heads
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Pagan Pride day comes to Ann Arbor in two weeks. BYO Goat Leggings
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Some think it Dumbo, while others call it Maleficent. Either way, the public is going Nutcracker on Disney's decision to leave workers Frozen in place on Castaway Cay during Hurricane Dorian, hoping they didn't wind up 20000 Leagues Under the Sea
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you're on a dock enjoying being smashed by the waves from Hurricane Dorian, you might be a complete fool, but you're definitely in Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: blaming dog for smell. New Hotness: blaming dog for PPV porn bill
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Defrocked archbishop of DC sent to small Kansas town where there's fresh air, small town values, lack of young boys
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Relevant Magazine)
 
 
 
Pumpkin spice and Jesus Christ. It's as God intended
source: relevantmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Spanish bull is mad as hell, and he's not going to take it any more [not a repeat, but this craziness will be repeated] (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
The public is hereby informed the prolonged closure of the Creamery Bridge over the Waits River is not due to a Sasquatch infestation
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop the 'Starhopper'
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Brevard County gas station, in the face of Hurricane Dorian: "That's a wrap"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Wisconsin schools welcome 50,000 disease vectors back to class
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Join us in being OUTRAGED at these bikini pictures that social media influencers are posting of themselves in the Bahamas while Dorian rages. This is outrageous. I am outraged. That there are only two of them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Myanmar's 'genocide card' condemned by human rights group as a systematic campaign to target Rohingya Muslims, as apparently the 'one free bullet after all squares are stamped' giveaway is not well received
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Family members say he was a grandfather and a hard worker, but police say he was fifteen feet up a tree using a chainsaw without a ladder and gravity had the final word
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Yes, we used your Amazon account to buy ourselves expensive stuff, but on the upside we also sent a card that said 'sorry.' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The U.S. Air Force wants super-realistic mock missile launchers. Well, okay, I guess, here goes: that's not a launcher, that's a missile that fell in cold water and had shrinkage. Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Authorities in Australia swing into action to destroy a dangerous animal that had been terrorizing local residents. Monster croc? Giant spider? Deadly snake? Vicious drop bear? No, an "unusually aggressive" magpie
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sorry, my flying companion can't talk to you, he's a little horse
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Hurricane preparedness, Florida man style
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Paul Stanley impersonator arrested after impersonating her daughter to get out of traffic citation
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Maid of honor told by bride she can wear anything to the wedding, shows up in an inflatable T-Rex costume (w/pics)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rainy scene
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
"US experts propose having AI control nuclear weapons" Suggested research: every 1980s SciFi movie
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted vodak made from California fog -- and you know you have -- then today is your lucky day
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Twelve tons of beef chuck recalled over fears it may become up-chuck
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Parade cancelled after Kaiser sends bombs. This is not a repeat from 1914
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The lottery is a long-running social experiment in what happens when people who need money get it unexpectedly. And some folks fail the test
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People with tattoos are more likely to be impulsive and make reckless decisions. Article to the left, people defending their Blade neck tattoos on the right
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Bear pins pony to ground at wildlife park. This Brony cosplay is getting out of hand
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
What it's like to eject out of a military jet, underwear cleaning costs excluded
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Chinese counterfeiters ripping off company that makes the "Orange Screws" for camping, in the latest case of a cheap orange screw making everyone tents
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ga man says he accidentally stabbed his Triplet brother when he tried to give him a hug while cooking. His now twin brother seen backing away slowly
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Williamsburg Yorktown Daily)
 
 
 
Beloved barfly invites entire town to celebrate 100 years of getting black out wasted
source: wydaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"At some point Wells was shot in the buttocks, but it is unclear how he was injured." With a Fark-approved mugshot
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Founder of nation's largest conversion therapy ministry, dedicated to turning gays into ex-gays, announces he's flamingly gay... to the surprise of absolutely no one
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Where was Jamie "The Scottish Hammer" Gillian on Saturday when he found out that he'd made the Browns roster as their punter? Why, in a bar having a pint, of course
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Oh how very Canadian - heckler shouts, "You're full of crap buddy" No word on the flappiness of his head
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Venue owner who refused to let an interracial couple hold their wedding there because her "Christian belief" forbids such marriages says she actually READ the Bible afterwards and the part about God being against those marriages isn't actually IN there, so she's real sorry
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If the chocolate doesn't brighten up your day, perhaps the 5000 hits of ecstasy will
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
These wimmens proudly sunbathe topless anywhere, including letting their boobs flap out while driving down the motorway. Anything to free the nipple because it makes sex better and makes them look good all over. Yup that's the entire article. Yup The Sun is There (PNSFW)
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
South African President decries anti-foreigner violence, saying that even if the rioters were hot blooded for a dirty white boy, that was yesterday and a response is urgent so stop with the head games and get cold as ice
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
If you think you're about to snap you probably are about to snap. New study says patience thresholds are lower than ever before - and tech is to blame
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
That famous photo of the construction workers eating their lunch on a steel beam? They were just a bunch of posers
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Flash mob of electric scooter riders swarms downtown Los Angeles in your First World Problem of the day
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Perverted pensioner gets stark naked, has sex with neighbor's cow, gets off with £8 fine. "The 68-year-old said he was copying friends who had told him having sex with a cow felt good"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
"A mob of two women, three men and a baby" demanded Popeye's chicken sandwiches at gunpoint. This is peak 2019
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Labor Day boat race. Difficulty: humpback whales blocking the course
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Florida braces for impact from Dorian. This is a repeat from Monday, Sunday, and Saturday
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Between Richard Spencer, Ryan Zinke, and this guy, Whitefish, Montana packs a whole LOT of creepy into a very tiny town
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The good news is that NYPD is now *no longer allowed* to have sex with handcuffed prisoners in their custody
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Whatamouse
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
86 shots. Not a Bruce Springsteen song
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
♪ Shot through the head, and you're to blame, you give spear guns a bad name ♪ (graphic image warning)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Maybe they should be claimed on Ash Wednesday?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jose Andres and his team are springing into action again, this time in the Bahamas. Literally no other tag does these folks justice
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Stingray shuffle: Dance like you've been stung before
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 02, 2019
(NOAA)
 
 
 
Like your ne'er-do-well brother-in-law who came to visit for Labor Day, trashed your place, and is now passed out on your couch, Dorian isn't budging
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Judge: You are hereby ordered not to drive for a period of one year. Drunk driver: Sure thing your honor *peels out of parking lot*
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Labor Day boat race. Difficulty: landlocked city, no river
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Once you pop, you can't stop. Or see
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Soccer fan survives falling 40ft from the upper deck of a stadium after landing on 13-year-old girl who also cheats death. It was a Brazilian to one odds
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank, OTR Edition - Triple Play continues on Labor Evening (8PM EDT). Stan Freberg, Superman and My Favorite Husband coming up
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scarf
source: ae01.alicdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Expecto moran-o
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Amazing Hurricane Dorian footage from a guy's Bahama home. Just as amazing, his carrier had service so he could upload it to YouTube
source: bahamaspress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You don't want to evacuate? Fine. We'll MAKE you evacuate
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1666, Great Fire of London begins after Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicks over a lantern
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greek Reporter)
 
 
 
Mr. Penis-or-coont Mitsotakis
source: greece.greekreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hey, you can sleep in my car for only £8 a night. Check out my AirBnB listing. And, if you don't want that, my dumpster is available for only £2 a night
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grand pianist
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Car and Driver)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing. Some dude just drove a Bugatti Chiron past 300mph, smashing the land-speed record for a production car
source: caranddriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
2014 story of Benjy the gay bull has happy ending. Farmer who had consigned him to slaughterhouse has emotional reunion with his former bull, who is now living his best life in UK animal sanctuary alongside Bernie the bull
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Scottish police use dummy cop to deter lawbreakers. Yeah, someone stole it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBY San Luis Obispo)
 
 
 
Thirty-four missing, five rescued from Santa Barbara dive boat that caught fire off Santa Cruz Island
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Catholic Reporter)
 
 
 
Pope Francis acquires 13 new cardinals and one first-round draft pick
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Vegan goes to a new level of vegan douchebaggery, demands her neighbor stop cooking barbecues of delicious-smelling meats
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Flight from Dublin to London comes scarily close to colliding with drone. It was only prevented by cunning Aer Lingus pilot
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Millionaire model agency boss thought to have key information into the Jeffrey Epstein scandal 'has disappeared like a ghost without a trace'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Cause of death for NZ man found dead in his tent at Burning Man determined to be CO and not OD
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ignoring thousands of years of history, Tony Perkins claims science causes mass murders
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Philadelphia area Starbucks employee wrote ISIS on Muslim's drink cup. Someone has a problem with that
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man whose head is in the clouds
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Shockingly, some Floridians intend to ride out Dorian in their boats
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Newark's water crisis is about to go full Flint
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Mississippi wedding venue cancels wedding booking when they learn that the couple is a white woman and a black man. "First of all, we don't do gay weddings or mixed race, because of our Christian race-I mean, our Christian belief"
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
How f*cked are we if the Amazon rainforest gets destroyed?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
The 2nd Amendment means white disaffected males can go around threatening to shoot you
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's an active shooter every other week in the U.S.
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Total devastation in parts of the Bahamas
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Triple charging the occupants then throwing them out is no way to run a hotel, Wyndham
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLTX Columbia)
 
 
 
Bus driver kicks 6-year-old off at random stop because she's the last one on the bus. School district apologizes for "for any concern this situation caused"
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman murdered by her own rooster. Of course this happened in Australia (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
He passed his first lesson
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Air)
 
 
 
Farker Planes lost his wife of 53 years to cancer last week. Going through things to send to the Salvation Army, he found a small notebook
source: global-air.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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